One Great Circle
by Damned Lolita
Summary: All the references, all the jokes, all the moments, the romances, the memories...they all come together in bits and pieces, caught from the fringes of time. Everyone in Kingdom Hearts is under the same sky, but they all have different stories to tell.
1. Waltz for the Moon

(Oh you know I don't own KH bla bla bla. SUPER LONG CHAPTER in what was supposed to be a FICLET series, but WHATEVER. They'll all be varying length and kind of stick a middle finger into the air of continuing plot or even time frame--although if a fic goes off into "uncharted territory," I'll let you know.

This is a day late, and in fact would be published tomorrow, except for one thing. I wanted to commemorate something. My cat, a big fluffy Persian, about sixteen years old, died today. He was the sweetest thing ever, and he was my dad's best friend when he went through some rough shit. He was always purring, and he was one of the best cats I've ever had.

Rest in peace, Coco. You will be missed.)

* * *

We found another one, Xeh-Xeh."

Xemnas looked up from his notes, watching Xigbar with a bit of surprise showing on his face as he watched the older man. Xigbar sighed and ran a hand through his hair, fiddling with his newfound ponytail. Xemnas finally managed to gather his thoughts. "Right...from where?" He ignored the fact that Xigbar had used his old name for the moment. It was a habit they'd had yet to break. Xemnas suspected they'd never fully rid themselves of it. Xigbar sighed.

"Radiant Garden, shockingly enough. Most likely scenario is we never met the kid. Christ knows we locked ourselves in the castle all the time." He remarked wryly, shouldering his gun and leaning against the doorframe for support. Xemnas nodded.

"I see. I suppose I shall go see to him, then. Xigbar, are you fit for another mission? It's my wish to have you accompany me if you are." He asked. Xigbar considered it for a moment. After a bit of internal debate, he nodded and beckoned to Xemnas.

"Right, Xeh. C'mon, I'll take you to the world where he was..." He replied, and Xemnas summoned a Corridor of Darkness in response. The two disappeared within an instant.

--

Xemnas regarded Halloweentown with amused contempt. The shambling grotesque gallery of both freakish people and freakish scenery both disturbed him and made him smile. It was one of the more interesting worlds, to say the least--however, even that wasn't enough to make Xemnas enjoy this newest mission.

The main reason for this was his inability to pick the Nobody out of the crowd of monstrosities; with his newfound power over nothingness itself, he could usually detect a Nobody that was approximately a mile away, but nothing was coming to him.

Xigbar looked up at the sky and pointed towards the massive moon hanging in the sky. "Xemnas, he was right near the moon. On this mountain...thing. It was like this weird striped spiral. I think we'll have to cut through the cemetery." Xigbar said, rolling his eyes at the annoyance. Xemnas groaned.

"All right. Hurry up, Braig, we should aim to be back home before--" He paused and fought down a smile. "I would say back before dark, but I don't think that's possible any longer, is it?" He murmured. Xigbar detected a faint hint of bitterness in his tone, but stayed silent. He simply took Xemnas' hand and squeezed it gently. Xemnas managed a quick smile before heading through the gates and out of Halloweentown.

--

The two traversed the cemetery with little difficulty. It wasn't navigating the cemetery that bothered them--it was the eerie feeling that followed them like a shadow. Xemnas shuddered, and Xigbar looked at him with concern. "Hey, Xeh? You're sensing a Nobody, right?" He asked. Xemnas nodded.

"Yes...a presence is close." He murmured. "I can't tell exactly where yet..." Xemnas kept going through the cemetery, looking up at the moon. Something about its' light was pulling him towards it. He sighed, standing at the base of the strange spiral mountain. It curled up just as Xigbar had described, and he was amazed when he found he could walk upon its' surface.

The scent of a Nobody was getting ever closer. Xemnas beckoned to Xigbar and the two crept up the mountain. Xemnas suddenly felt like the moon was crushing him and weighing down on him with a terrible force. He hid his odd evanescent fear and kept going up the mountain until he could press his fingers against the full, bloated, and malignant moon. The Nobody was close. He could feel it.

A snarl interrupted his thoughts, and he heard Xigbar draw Sharpshooter from behind him. He turned around to face the being that had interrupted his thoughts. As his eyes fell on the form of the creature, his eyes widened and a spark seemed to light up in his chest.

The man was crouched on the ground, his bearing feral and vicious. Xemnas saw clawed hands digging into the dirt, tearing chunks of loam and stone out of the mountain. Cobalt hair spilled over down his back and obscured half of his face.

Xemnas was unsure if it was the power of nothingness or not, but his whole body thrummed with an alien sort of pleasure as he watched the man stay perfectly still, his whole body a perfect statue of barely contained violence. He reached out a hand and knelt to get closer to the man.

"Greetings." He purred. "I am Xemnas, leader of Organization XIII." The man looked up at him for a moment, and Xemnas paused, seeing a vicious look in his eyes. He knew he had no choice to press on, but he watched the Nobody with slight trepidation. He managed a small, reassuring smile.

"You are to come back with me. This is no longer your home. You've lost everything...your heart, your home, even your name. Come." He said gently, holding out a hand for the man to take. Burning golden eyes watched him for a moment. The man tilted his head up and Xemnas saw terror steal across his face before he roared, leaping at Xemnas and sinking his teeth into his shoulder.

Xigbar snarled, trying to yank the Nobody off, but Xemnas held up a hand. "Braig, attend." He said quietly. Xigbar spat on the ground and snarled in obvious displeasure, but he held his position. Xemnas looked down at the berserker. His eyes were clenched tightly shut, but he could see tears forcing their way through them. His whole body shook with pain, and the blood that now poured from Xemnas' shoulder seemed to both spur him to bite in harder, clawing at his back with his fingers, and pain him even further.

Xemnas tucked a bit of hair behind the berserker's ears, noting with a bit of amusement that they swooped up into delicate points. He traced the tip and tried to ignore the screaming pain in his shoulder as the man dug his teeth in deeper. "You've lost your name." He murmured again. "You've lost your home. Please. You will have a home with me. I will give you a name...I will give you a heart. Listen to me." Xemnas closed his eyes, and tried to pull a name out of the nothingness. It took a minute, and he could feel himself swooning from blood loss, but the name came to him and he smiled in pleasure.

"Come home, Saix..." He murmured, feeling himself pass out even as he reached a hand out to bring Saix home.

* * *

Xigbar sighed, summoning a Corridor for all three men. He muttered dark epithets against Xemnas as he dragged both him and Saix through the darkness and into the World that Never Was. He reappeared back inside the castle itself and roared, "VEXEN!"

The blonde scientist stormed up from the basement, fumbling with the door for a moment before wrenching it open. He opened his mouth, already preparing to shout at Xigbar for interrupting his work, but Xigbar simply gestured to Xemnas and Vexen's jaw snapped shut. He rolled his eyes, raised an eyebrow, and pointed to Saix. An unspoken flash of amusement passed between both him and Xigbar. Without another word, Vexen picked Xemnas up and carried him into the infirmary, trying incredibly hard not to laugh.

"Xigbar, can you please tell the others that you and Xemnas have arrived home with another Nobody? And tell Ien--Zexion...tell him to take a break. I know he's still in the basement." Vexen murmured. Xigbar nodded and summoned a Corridor, disappearing into the Place Where Nothing Gathers.

--

Xigbar simply walked up to his chair, enjoying the feeling of walking upon air and the silence of the room. He tapped the arm of his throne and whistled, sending a summons for the others.

Xaldin arrived first, lances slung over his shoulder and his hair an unbraided mess. Lexaeus followed an instant after, in the same haggard state. Xigbar grinned. "I see you two have moved on from wrestling crocodiles." He teased. Lexaeus managed a small smile as Xaldin glared daggers at him. Xigbar stuck his tongue out at Xaldin as Zexion arrived. The youngest ex-Apprentice winced, immediately seeing the others' looks of concern zeroing in on him.

He hadn't slept in two days, (although he had never mentioned this fact to Vexen or Lexaeus), and he hadn't eaten anything more substantial than a cup of coffee and some toast in about half of a week. Two bruise-colored circles had formed under his eyes, and he could barely summon the energy to make it to his own throne.

"It's not as bad as it looks." He murmured, curling into a fetal position and pressing his knees up against his chest. "Honest." He told them, trying to manage a small smile. Xigbar snorted.

"Still pretty bad, Ienzo. After this little announcement, either you get in bed or I can kick your ass across the castle and back. Clear?" He snapped. Zexion sighed, leaning his head against his knees.

"Xigbar, you're not being fair." He replied. "I'm just as grown-up as you now..." Xigbar made to dispute his claim, but Vexen appeared in the throne room and interrupted his scathing lecture. Xigbar held his tongue, but he was already planning a way to lock Zexion in his room and take his bookshelves away. Vexen watched Zexion for a moment. Then his raised an eyebrow. Zexion groaned and settled into his seat. "Fine, Even, I'll go to bed..." He muttered.

Xigbar stared at him incredulously. "Jesus Christ, Vexen, how in the name of hell do you do that?!" He hissed. Vexen managed a small smile of amusement.

"I have the keys to the lab." He replied, holding up a small silver set of keys. Xigbar shook his head in amazement. Vexen sighed and continued on. "The Superior was a hubristic idiot, as I suppose we've all come to expect at least once a month or so. However, his recklessness has brought us back another Nobody. His name is Saix, from what I could get out of Xemnas. Xeh himself, however, is asleep right now. Saix pretty much mauled his entire left arm. He'll be fine, but he needs to sleep. Saix is sedated--apparently being out on his own in Halloweentown did something to both his mental and physical state. The best thing we can do is let them both be for the time being." He sighed.

"I think we can manage by ourselves for the rest of the night. However, someone needs to make dinner. I can't, and someone should stay with Xemnas and Saix, at any rate." Vexen disappeared, but not before calling, "And if one of you doesn't lock Zexion in his room and make him sleep, I'll stuff you all in the freezer!" Xigbar shuddered.

"He sounded way too cheerful about that." He muttered darkly. Xaldin laughed.

"Agreed. I'll make something for all of us. I suppose we should go on as we always do. After all, it's nothing serious..." He turned to Zexion and trailed off, smiling in amusement as Zexion slept peacefully, unaware of the conversation. "I suppose food can wait for him. Lexaeus, just take him to his bedroom, would you? Meet us in the kitchen when you're done." Lexaeus nodded, trying not to smile as he gathered Zexion in his arms. The others disappeared, and he felt Zexion stir in his arms after they'd all left.

"They're all gone?" He whispered. Lexaeus nodded. Zexion smirked. "Good. I wasn't in the mood to eat Xaldin's cooking and get my stomach pumped anyway." He murmured, closing his eyes again. Lexaeus simply shook his head in bemusement as the both of them disappeared.

* * *

Xemnas slept peacefully. Vexen had, for once, little trouble getting him to take medicine. It helped that he had been unconscious at the time. He lay back on the bed with his silver hair spilled out over the pillow as he shifted in his sleep. Kingdom Hearts shone through the window, lending an unearthly glow to the room. It was that same alien glow that woke Saix up.

Something was tearing into his chest. He whimpered with pain and pressed a clawed hand against his chest, right where his heart had been. He hadn't been able to dream. Something was gnawing at his sanity. For all the time he'd spent in Halloweentown, so close to the moon, it had done nothing to fix him. He felt tears trailing down his face, searing and wet. He looked around and tried to observe his surroundings to ignore the tears that soaked his cheeks.

The lab shone with a pale creamy light, Kingdom Hearts looming overhead. Saix bowed his head in acknowledgement of his goddess before turning back to the room itself. It was altogether both foreign and boring. Bottles of chemicals, medical journals, and all other sorts of scientific paraphernelia caught his eye for a moment before being deemed unworthy of his interest.

Then he realized he could hear someone breathing. His senses had heightened after his transition, and he could now note differences in the breathing patterns of other creatures. This one sounded familiar...but one he'd only heard once...while he'd been in his berserker state. His eyes widened as he realized the truth.

He turned to see Xemnas in the bed next to him, peacefully asleep. The clawing pain in his chest now ached with such ferocity that Saix actually moaned out loud, shuddering with the pain and clutching the bed for support. He needed to see Xemnas' eyes. He didn't know why, but he _had to. _He didn't want to wake him, but that pain in his chest was shredding his whole body from the inside out and tearing him apart. He mewled in agony, sagging against the side of the bed and sobbing in exhaustion and pain.

--

Somehow, even in the darkness of sleep, Xemnas felt uneasy. It was a faint sort of uneasiness, and he himself wasn't even aware of feeling it. It was something that simply tugged at him and forced him to wake up. He opened his eyes and observed the room for any danger. Nothing appeared to be out of place. So why had he woken up?

Then he heard the sobs. He sat up in bed and tried desperately to figure out who was crying. It was a soft, high-pitched kind of crying that was so horribly sad and screamed of such pain that Xemnas had to find the source of it and make everything better for whoever was in so much pain that their wails would sound that agonized. It was then he felt the nothingness that signified a Nobody. A very specific Nobody, in fact.

"Saix?" He whispered, unsure of where he was in this darkness. "Saix, are you all right?" The keening stopped for an instant, replaced by a terrified mewl.

"Xemnas...Xemnas, it's tearing me a-apart...Xemnas, make it stop..." As the pained cry reached his ears, Xemnas sat up on his knees, looking around and observing the room. Saix was curled against the side of the bed, shaking in agony. Xemnas looked down at him and cursed himself for being unsure of what to do. However, the matter seemed to have been decided for him. Saix looked up into his eyes.

Xemnas felt the same agonizing pain he knew Saix had to be feeling right now. He gasped, shaking as he clutched the covers under him as if they were falling out from underneath his hands. Saix reached out a trembling hand and tucked a few strands of silver hair behind his ears as he stood, coming to sit closer on the bed. The pain in Xemnas' chest had gone away, and he watched Saix with amazement. Saix was no longer mewling with pain. Instead, he was leaning in closer to Xemnas, curiousity reflected in his eyes.

Saix leaned in so close that Xemnas knew if he had chosen to do so, he could've torn his throat out. But that appeared to the the absolute last thing on the berserker's mind. Instead Saix watched his eyes. Xemnas tried to look away from the piercing golden gaze, but he seemed to have lost the ability to do so. Saix continued to meet his eyes, golden eyes meeting his own amber. Xemnas could almost see peace radiating from his body as he finally raised a hand up to stroke Xemnas' hair.

"Master." He murmured. "My master."

Without another word, Saix laid down against Xemnas' chest and closed his eyes, falling asleep with a small sigh of relief and contentment.

--

Xemnas watched the Nobody on his chest sleep for a time. Saix's scar had thinned to a faint 'x' shape, and his hair no longer stood on end. He was finally at peace. Xemnas suppressed a shiver as he watched him. Saix's cobalt hair fanned out over his chest, and a clawed hand had come to rest against his shoulder. His face was so delicate and pale that if Xemnas hadn't known any better, he would have presumed the berserker was an attractive young woman. He swallowed, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

Saix had called him his master. There was no way to contention that. He'd heard it clear as day. He'd met his eyes... Xemnas tried to remember what had happened when their eyes had met. Saix had watched him...and this feeling in his chest...

Xemnas wouldn't have called it emotion, even if he had still possessed a heart. It was something different. More instinctual. Saix had given him the same pain he had been feeling. Empathy? Without emotion, it seemed impossible...yet...he had felt the same tearing pain. He knew he had.

Finally, although Xemnas would never admit it...

When Saix had called him master, his only thought was, "_Mine." _

_--_

Zexion awoke the next morning, knowing that he was probably the last one who had woken up. He yawned and stretched, hugging his pillow for another instant before heading downstairs. He could smell Vexen in the kitchen, and he noted the sharp, heady aroma of coffee brewing with pleasure. He knocked on the door and heard someone coming to open it.

Xigbar stood in the doorway, appraising Zexion's sleep-mussed hair with approval. He smirked. "Good. Another two or three days of that and I _might _just be satisfied." Zexion stuck his tongue out at him as he entered the kitchen and sat at the table. Lexaeus settled a cup of coffee into his hands and he smiled up at his friend gratefully before taking a sip.

Vexen chewed on the end of his pen before finally seeming to remember something. "Oh, yes. Xeh is fine. Saix is still...well, I'm not certain of his mental state, therefore I've decided to leave this up to Xemnas. He seemed very insistent about being allowed to take care of him." He murmured. Everyone else in the room shared an amused glance. Vexen looked up at them in confusion. "What? Xemnas is simply--" Xigbar interrupted him with a roar of laughter.

"Vexen, I promise, one day you'll be laid." Xigbar said comfortingly, ruffling his friend's hair in amusement. Vexen simply glared at him and chucked the pen he'd been holding at his face. Xigbar laughed, dodging it before kissing the top of his head. "Ah, go fuck yourself, ice queen. So, are we going to go check up on them or not?" He asked. Vexen huffed.

"Well, if I recall correctly, we still have missions." He reminded Xigbar. "And if my memory serves me right, you were supposed to go to Atlantica, my dear Braig." As he saw Xigbar's eyes widen in shock and horror, Vexen giggled. "Have fun, Xigbar. Just try to _swim this way _home..."

--

Zexion was the only one apart from Vexen, Xemnas, and Saix that wasn't out on a mission at the time. He sighed, clearly bored. He considered what to do. He could either bother Vexen in the lab or go see Xemnas. He'd already spent about a week in the lab and if Vexen saw him down there after pulling about three all-nighters straight, he might strangle him. Zexion laughed. Xemnas it was.

He headed down to the infirmary and knocked on the door. After getting no response, he opened it and walked into the room. He only had a second to see Saix look up and his eyes flash with ferocity before he snarled and leapt at him. Zexion hissed, summoning his lexicon to keep him in place with a spell until he heard Xemnas say, "_Down, _Saix." Zexion watched Saix turn away from him and back to Xemnas, his hair standing on end and his eyes shining golden as he snarled in displeasure. Xemnas groaned. "I'm sorry, Zexion. It's nothing personal; he's just being overprotective. He did it to Even as well when he came in to check on me." Saix growled quietly.

"Master, I must watch over you. If someone enters the room unannounced, I can't determine whether or not their actions are hostile. Thus, I must err on the side of caution and be prepared to fight." He murmured. Xemnas huffed in amusement.

"Saix, don't call me master. Also, Zexion is no threat. Neither is anyone else in this castle. I suppose I'll have to introduce you after a time...although I believe that one of them is out in Atlantica..." Both Zexion and Xemnas were trying very hard not to collapse in laughter. Saix just looked confused. Xemnas smiled at him and murmured, "We'll explain later. Zexion, what made you come here?" Zexion rolled his eyes.

"Even locked me out of the lab." He muttered. Xemnas laughed, ignoring Zexion's murderous glare. "It's not funny, Xeh!" He snapped. Xemnas tried to keep a straight face as Zexion sighed. "Besides, I wanted to see Saix. I brought a book, too..." He held out a massive leatherbound book for both of them to examine. "It's one of teacher's old ones...I knew I shouldn't have taken it, but I wanted...to have something from home." He murmured. Xemnas nodded.

"I understand, Ienzo. It's okay." He whispered. Zexion nodded, rubbing his sleeve over his eyes furiously. Xemnas let him have a moment to collect himself before he asked, "What's the book called?" Zexion smiled as he clutched it to his chest.

"_Tales of the Keyblade Bearers." _He said, climbing onto the bed. "I can read it for you...I know most of it by heart anyway." He smiled. Xemnas nodded and laid back against the pillows as Zexion began to read.

"Once, when the land was connected to its' heart, it would appoint guardians to serve as its' Knights..."

* * *

A red-haired man walked through the darkness, alone and lost in his thoughts. He sighed, tilting his head and closing his eyes. He couldn't hear anything. He knew he needed to find Isa. Isa would never survive without him.

"Maybe knowing where the hell I was would help." He muttered darkly, slicing a Dusk in two.

* * *

Xigbar stormed through the castle, trying to shake a persistent jellyfish off of his foot. "Squishy little motherfuckers." He grumbled murderously, grinding it on the floor. "Burn the fucking world."

"I do believe it's twenty thousand leagues _under the sea_, Xigbar." Xaldin noted with amusement, wringing out his ponytail for him. Xigbar snarled.

"Burn it with a giant fucking squid then. One more mission like this and I will stuff my foot up Xemnas' ass, I am not even kidding." He hissed. Xaldin simply smiled. Xigbar huffed, sticking his hands in his pockets. "Whatever. I'm going to take a shower and get this salt and blood out of my hair." As he walked off, his words hit Xaldin full-force.

"What did you kill, Xigbar?" He called back. Xigbar snorted.

"Nothing! Me, kill? As if!" He replied, storming off for the shower.

Xaldin simply waited.

"Hey, that flounder was fuckin' asking for it."

* * *

Xemnas finally looked up as Zexion finished one of the stories and sighed. "Looks like it's almost dinnertime. Saix, Zexion, come with me. Don't worry, Saix, I'll make introductions as soon as we get there." Xemnas told him. Saix nodded and stood, stretching out his back as Zexion slid off the bed and headed down the hall. Saix looked worriedly at Xemnas.

"Master? Because of what I am...will they hate me, master?" He murmured. Xemnas sighed in bemusement.

"Saix...we are all the same as you. This is your home now. This is what you are...a Nobody. It is something we share, as odd as that may seem." He replied. Saix visibly relaxed.

"I understand, my master. Thank you." He said courteously, inclining his head slightly. Xemnas sighed.

"Saix, don't call me master. Now come." Xemnas said, sitting up and heading out the door as he beckoned to him. Saix sighed in amusement.

"Yes, master." He replied, following him down the hallway.

Zexion had gotten ahead, but both Xemnas and Saix had caught up to him eventually. The three walked in peaceable silence until they heard glass shattering. Xemnas could already feel a sinking feeling in his stomach. Zexion sighed and looked up at him in amusement.

"Did you send Xigbar to Atlantica _again?" _Zexion asked. Xemnas muttered something unintelligible before heading straight for the kitchen door. Zexion just laughed. Saix followed after Xemnas quickly, looking around the kitchen with an almost childish curiousity. Xigbar had Sharpshooter against Xemnas' throat, Vexen had brought an entire biological encyclopedia to the table, Xaldin was rebinding his crocodile-skin jacket, swearing under his breath as Lexaeus held the seams steady.

All in all, it was a normal dinner.

Zexion sighed. "Saix, this is my...family. For want of a better word. Fellow lunatics also applies, but I do believe that would be an insult to actual lunatics, who have the decency to abstain from vivisecting rabbits in the name of science." He said smoothly. Vexen glared at him.

"I cleaned all of that up, Zexion, you know I did! No one told me they were still alive!" He snapped. Zexion sighed.

"Whatever. Saix, this is Vexen. He's number IV in the Organization; the Chilly Academic. He wields ice." He paused. "Xigbar calls him the ice queen." Vexen snarled at the man in question. Xigbar grinned. Zexion rolled his eyes as Saix continued to watch them curiously.

"That's Xigbar, as you noticed. He's number II; the Freeshooter. He wields space, so feel free to stab him if he feels like being a wiseass and jumping on you from the ceiling." Zexion deadpanned. Xigbar rolled his eyes. Zexion watched Saix eye him with a bit of annoyance; he had been pointing Freeshooter at Xemnas as Saix walked in. He'd kept his peace with a look from the Superior, but even then he was still agitated.

Zexion quickly changed the subject, noting his anxiety. "And the one sewing is Xaldin. He's number III of the Organization; the Whirlwind Lancer. His power should hopefully be very obvious." He said. Xaldin nodded in assent and pulled a stitch through the leather, cursing as it pricked his thumb. Lexaeus simply held the jacket steady. Zexion tucked a strand of hair behind his ear and smiled.

"And that's Aeleus. Lexaeus--forgive me..." He sighed. "Still not quite in the habit. Anyways, he's number V of the Organization; the Silent Hero. He's called that for a reason." Zexion teased. Lexaeus simply rolled his eyes and reached a hand out to tug on the strands of Zexion's hair as he squeaked in protest. Saix simply tilted his head slightly before giving a cautious smile. Lexaeus nodded in acknowledgement and smiled back.

His worries allayed about the entire Organization, Saix accepted Xaldin's cup of coffee with a small nod of gratitude and sat next to Xemnas. There was a pleasant silence at the table before Vexen set his encyclopedia down. "Saix, are you well? You seem to have calmed down from last night." He said. Saix smiled. It wasn't wary or cautious--it was a beautiful, simple smile, and everyone in the room knew it was how he had smiled when he was a Somebody.

"Thank you, Vexen. I'm all right. My master let me lie with him." Saix replied politely.

The reactions were all varied, all mortified, and all hysterical. Xemnas choked on his cup of jasmine tea, coughing and doubling over on the table. Vexen blinked in shock as he wrote something in the margins of his encyclopedia. Xaldin almost tore his coat in two as Lexaeus eyed the choking Xemnas with concern. Zexion simply sighed. However, Xigbar was far more into it than they were.

"Oh man, Xeh, Jesus! We just got the poor puppy and you're already fucking him senseless? This from the guy who had everyone in Radiant Garden throwing themselves at his feet?" Xigbar teased. Xemnas rolled his eyes, and then paused as he saw Saix's own eyes turn yellow.

"Do not speak of my master in such a vulgar manner." He murmured quietly. Xigbar sighed and rolled his eyes as he leaned back in his chair.

"He's been my brother for about fifteen years, I'll speak to him any way I want." He snapped. Xemnas tried to interrupt, but Saix snarled, drowning out his voice with a cry that was in no way human. The whole room fell into complete darkness. For a second, no one could see a thing. Then a small glow began to emit from Saix's newly illuminated hand, and as Kingdom Hearts began to glow as if in response, he summoned a massive claymore that settled into his hand as if it was made solely for him.

He swung it at Xigbar with power, enough that if Xigbar hadn't teleported just in time he would've probably been torn open. Saix roared, the snarl thrumming in his throat. Everyone was watching, unsure of what had just happened or how to react. Saix turned back to Xemnas and they watched in amazement as his hair lay flat and his eyes became golden once more.

"Master..." He murmured. "I found my weapon."

* * *

Dinner finished soon after. No one knew how to react to what Saix had done. Zexion had gone into his room to read, Vexen had gone to see if he could find anything about Saix's berserker state in his research, and Xigbar, Xaldin, and Lexaeus had retired to the library. Xemnas sighed, looking up at Kingdom Hearts through the window.

Why had Saix done what he did? Xemnas didn't understand why he had been so willing to attack...for what sake? His honor? Xemnas managed a small smile at that.

However, Xemnas knew he was never living down that comment. Xigbar would tease him about it for _years. _He sighed in bemusement, resigned to his fate. He had other things on his mind. Namely, where Saix would stay. He had a room prepared, but it didn't seem like it was...quite right. Something was wrong about it. But he didn't know what it was.

Xemnas continued on, trying to figure out what had bothered him about Saix's room. It wasn't that it was dirty or loathsome...but something with Saix's room didn't sit right with him. He sighed, climbing the steps and heading down the hallway to his room. He opened his door and undressed as he crossed the room and towards his bed. He climbed into it and slid under the covers with a small sigh of relief. He was exhausted. He knew he had to rest--even with the Hi-Potion, his shoulder still ached. It only took him a minute to close his eyes and fall asleep.

Saix paced his new room, trying his best not to howl and wake anyone up. He didn't want to disturb anyone. But his master was gone. His master had _left him. _Saix felt a sob starting to bubble in his throat and he inhaled shakily, trying to choke it down before he started crying. The whole room felt empty. He couldn't hear a single thing within it, and the silence was beginning to kill him. With a small growl, he laid back on the bed and tried to steady himself. But all that occupied his thoughts was his master's face, his voice, his touch...

Saix swore, pulling blankets close as he buried his face in the pillow and attempted to fall asleep. It wasn't easy to achieve, but soon enough, with his master's face still in his mind, he had collapsed from sheer exhaustion.

His peace didn't last long, however. Within an hour, he was jolted awake. He noted with terror that someone was screaming. It took him a minute to realize it was him. He choked back the scream and tried to remember what had frightened him awake. All he could remember was a swirling mist of blood and his master's voice.

It was then it hit Saix. His master was in pain. The moon had told him his master was hurting and he needed to go to him right _now. _Without a second thought as to how Xemnas would react to being woken up at this time of night, he bolted out of his bed and rushed down the hallway.

It only took him a minute to reach Xemnas' room. He began to pound on the door, mewling, "Master! Master, wake up, master!" He could hear blankets shifting and the sound of his master heading towards the door. The turn of the knob clicked in his ears, and he moaned with relief as the door swung back to reveal his master standing on the threshold of his room.

"Saix." He murmured. "What is the meaning of this?" Xemnas wasn't expecting anything significant. Certainly not anything like what Saix was doing. Before he could register it, his berserker had buried his face into his neck and had begun to bawl. Xemnas froze, his mind whirring to find a solution to what was going on. He tried to speak, but he realized that he had no way to react. It was then he realized Saix was talking.

"Master, oh goddess, my master, you were b-bleeding, you were screaming, the g-goddess, s-she told me, a-and...oh god, master, you were hurting...I could not aid you..." Saix confessed, eyes filled with terror as he watched Xemnas. All he could do was stare down at Saix, unsure of what to say. He simply nodded reassuringly and stroked his hair.

"I am safe, Saix. Please do not weep for me. You are by my side now. I am all right. It's okay." He murmured gently. "It's okay." Saix pulled away from Xemnas to look up into his eyes. Xemnas felt that same instinctual tugging in his chest, and he felt a reflexive shiver trickle down his spine. Saix dug his claws into Xemnas' skin with gentle care.

"Master...master, I don't want to be alone. Please, master. Please, I don't want to be alone." Saix pleaded. Xemnas had let his mind go completely blank. He let himself act completely on instinct as he picked Saix up and carried him over to the bed. Saix simply met his gaze as he laid him down on the bed. He watched Xemnas climb in and lay down. Saix laid down as well, mimicking his master's actions. Xemnas tucked a bit of Saix's hair behind his ears and sighed in bemusement.

"Saix, you are not alone. You're not going to be alone as long as this Organization stands." He said quietly. Saix nodded, but a thought seemed to cross his mind. He looked up at Xemnas with wide, curious eyes.

"Will I be with you, my master?" He asked. Xemnas had given up trying to think about what was going on. What mattered now was Saix.

"Yes, Saix." Xemnas murmured. "You will always be with me."

Saix smiled, closing his eyes and falling still against the sheets. Xemnas laid down and with only a small sigh of relief, managed to join Saix in sleep.


	2. Broken Home

(What the hell happened to "ficlets," self, huh? Seriously, Jesus.

Although I believe I've worked out a sort of pattern. All the ones where a Nobody shows up--superlong chapters, because of all the stuff I need to cram in. Day to day living will probably be shorter. However, I have to find ways to stuff them all in first so the fun begins. GO GADGET GO~

Anyways, reverse foreshadowing in this chapter--guess where and you get a cookie. And yeah, that's kind of it. I know they're still long, just don't kill me when in like a month they're all like under a thousand words or so. Sorry... D:

Dedicated to the world and all its' mysteries. (Add your own 'boom-de-yadas' in at will.)

Don't own KH, glad I don't, god knows I couldn't deal with the fanbase. I'M MAKING IT AS GAY AS I CAN WITHOUT GETTING IT BANNED IN LIKE TEN COUNTRIES I'M SORRY D:

And the moral of the story is, write fanfiction.)

* * *

Saix had adjusted just fine to the Organization. He still trailed after Xemnas like a lost puppy, but they'd all seen the consequences of taunting him for it. Xigbar had nursed enough stab wounds to set an example for all of them.

However, no one had found any new Nobodies. This was starting to worry Saix more than anyone else. He had lost someone important to him during the fall of Radiant Garden, and he wanted him back.

It was the night that Kingdom Hearts would glow the brightest in the sky above them that Saix confided in his master.

Saix had come to his master's bed every night after they had made that promise to each other. Saix was unaware that he had made the promise to stay by Xemnas' side, but Xemnas knew. He had pledged to do the same, after all.

Every night that Saix undressed and joined Xemnas in his bed...

Saix was utterly naive about sex. That much was clear. No sane man would have come to his bed every night simply to sleep, not when they had such devotion. Xemnas sighed. Saix may not have seen it as sexual, but for Xemnas...

Well, that was something he simply had to figure out at a later date. For now, they shared a bed. And it was enough.

Saix sighed, leaning his head on Xemnas' shoulder. "Master?" He murmured quietly. Xemnas didn't bother to rebuke him at the moment. He shifted slightly to stroke Saix's hair. He looked down at his pet and smiled reassuringly.

"Yes, Saix? Are you all right?" He asked. Saix shook his head. Xemnas knew he couldn't feel the worry, but he understood that Saix was hurt. He sat up in bed and watched Saix sit up and tilt his head back to stare at Kingdom Hearts.

"I'm not all right, I'm afraid. It's about Lea, my master." Saix murmured. "I miss Lea." He sighed. "I know we cannot feel, my master. We are Nobodies. Yet...he was my friend. I remember the love I felt for him, and I remember our friendship. I want Lea back, my master." He shook his head. "After Radiant Garden fell...he...I lost him. I want my Lea back, master..." He whispered. Xemnas nodded and stroked his hair comfortingly.

"I understand, Saix. We'll try to find him. Until then, keep your task focused on bringing about our goal." He said. Saix nodded happily, and Xemnas fought down a smile at his adoring gaze. "Now, Saix. Get some sleep. This will wait until morning." Xemnas murmured. Saix nodded sleepily, cuddling under the blankets and closing his eyes. It only took a moment for Saix's breathing to become even and peaceful. Xemnas smiled in amusement as he laid down and wrapped his arms around Saix's waist before falling asleep.

The night passed with little incident. For once, the castle was entirely at peace. Saix slept without dreams. No mist of blood accompanied his master's voice anymore. Saix knew he was with his master, safe in his arms. It was enough to keep the nightmares away.

The next morning arrived soon enough. Saix awoke before Xemnas and savored the feel of his master's strength surrounding him before he felt Xemnas stir. He smiled. "Good morning, my master." He murmured. Xemnas groaned.

"Don't call me master, Saix." He muttered, rolling back over in bed. Saix sighed.

"Master, don't be a brat. It's time to get up." He cajoled him, sitting up and getting out of bed by himself, pulling his coat on and heading for the door. "If you don't come downstairs with me, I won't make you your coffee the way you like it." He threatened him.

Of course, Saix would never disobey his master. But it worked like a charm. Xemnas was dressed and heading out the door in under a minute. Saix managed a smile before he followed his master obediently down the steps. Xemnas opened the kitchen door and walked in, sitting at the table and reading Vexen's notes over his shoulder. Zexion looked up from his book and smiled. "Morning, Xeh!" He said happily, putting his book down. "Morning to you too, Saix!" Xemnas simply huffed in amusement.

"Did Vexen let you back into the lab?" He remarked. Zexion nodded feverently. Xemnas sighed, thoroughly amused. "That explains it." He teased. Zexion stuck his tongue out at him as Lexaeus set down plates. Xemnas nodded in gratitude as Lexaeus smiled back at him. He put his elbows on the table and leaned against his palms, deep in thought. "We have yet to find another Nobody. This is, as you can probably discern, becoming bothersome for me. So we are to split up and search the worlds."

"Xeh, if you send me to Atlantica again, I swear to god I'll kill you." Xigbar hissed. Xemnas bit back a smile. Zexion was choking down giggles, and although he couldn't prove it, Xemnas was sure that everyone else was laughing discreetly into their cups of coffee. He shook his head.

"Of course not, Braig. At least, not for awhile." He teased him. Xigbar glared daggers at him, and Xemnas had to admit, even with one eye scarred beyond repair, Xigbar could glare at you like no other man could. He sighed. "Anyways, I want you all to take a world. Lexaeus, will you please search around Traverse Town?" Lexaeus nodded in assent.

"Even, I need you to look around the Land of Dragons. God knows it's too damn cold for the rest of us." Xemnas said wryly. Vexen smirked in amusement and nodded. Xemnas bit his lip for a moment in thought. "Zexion, I don't want you going off alone. You're going to Beast's Castle with Xaldin. Do you understand?" He murmured. Zexion narrowed his eyes.

"I'm not a little kid anymore, Xeh!" He snapped, standing up at his seat. "I can take care of myself same as the rest of you! Don't you _dare _treat me like this! I lost what you all lost, too..." He murmured quietly. Xemnas sighed.

"I know, Ienzo. That's not why I want you to go with Dilan. I want you to go because it's a large castle that needs to be explored. Many shadows lurk there. You can hide in the shadows like no other, can you not?" Xemnas asked. Zexion sighed.

"Yes, I suppose I can. All right, Xehanort. But if I get left behind once more, there's going to be hell to pay." He reminded him. Xemnas smiled.

"I would expect nothing less. Now, Braig. Will you go to Wonderland for me? It might be an odd world, but overall, the Heartless should be to your liking." He purred. Xigbar snorted.

"Look, anything's better than fuckin' Atlantica. Are we heading out now, Xeh?" He asked. Xemnas nodded.

"Yes. We'll meet up back here by the time the sun sets in the other worlds. If one of us happens to find a Nobody, however, we'll contact the others and take them back here. Understood?" He asked. The others nodded as they disappeared into the darkness. Saix looked up at his master curiously.

"Master, aren't we going to search as well?" He asked. Xemnas sighed. For a moment, his eyes went blank, refocusing on the past. Saix simply watched as his master shuddered.

"We are. But I couldn't tell them where." He murmured. Saix tilted his head.

"Oh? And why not, master?" Saix inquired. Xemnas laughed wryly.

"Because we're going home." Xemnas murmured.

* * *

Saix watched his master open a Corridor in surprise. Xemnas stepped into it without a word and Saix followed behind, confused but eager to understand what his master meant.

However, by the time they left the darkness, it had become painfully clear.

Hollow Bastion lay before them, its' tattered remnants of beauty sealed within a harsh landscape. Saix could feel tears springing to his eyes; a mere reflex, as Xemnas had assured him. But as he watched Hollow Bastion, waiting with little hope that Radiant Garden would spring up before his eyes again, he wasn't sure if it was all truly instinct.

Xemnas sighed. "We all know what we did wrong, you know." He murmured. Saix snapped to attention and turned to face his master.

"Master? What do you mean?" He asked, puzzled by his master's sudden melancholy. Xemnas sighed.

"We can't feel the sadness that we should feel, seeing our home in ruins because of what we had done. We have every right to ache. But we can't. Yet we remember the emotions, and Saix..." Xemnas shuddered. "I hear Ienzo screaming at night. I know that Even or Aeleus goes to sit with him until he stops crying...and we all remember those emotions of hatred and agony." Xemnas snorted, a small bark of bitter laughter ringing in his throat.

"I led them to the slaughter. I...my brothers..." Xemnas moaned in pain. "My brothers, Saix. They trusted me..." Saix merely watched in horror, unsure of what to do to stop his master's sorrow. His instincts were roiling within him, but he wasn't sure if he should act on them.

Then he saw tears dripping down Xemnas' face and all his thoughts went out the window. With a small reassuring whimper, he pulled Xemnas close and began to lick away his tears, growling quietly in an attempt to reassure his master.

Saix wasn't aware of the blush that had rushed across his master's face or the heat starting to pool in his stomach. All he saw was that his master had stopped crying. He grinned with pleasure. "Master, it's all right now. I will always be by your side, remember?" He tucked a bit of hair behind Xemnas' ear. "You will never be alone." He whispered. Xemnas nodded.

"Thank you, Saix..." He murmured, turning away from the wreckage and closing his eyes. "I can sense...darkness. A Nobody's darkness. Someone is close." As Xemnas said this, Saix's ears pricked up. He growled quietly as he heard someone approach. He would have slipped into his berserker state and prepared to fight for his master--except the breathing pattern had begun to sound very familiar...

"ISA!" He heard a familiar voice roar in his ear before he was buried into the chest of his friend. Saix gasped in shock, pulling him closer and looking up into his friend's familiar bottle-green eyes.

"Lea?" Saix murmured. "Lea?" He was laughing, ruffling Saix's hair as he snorted in amusement. Xemnas watched from a distance, not wanting to ruin the moment, even as his insides seethed with jealousy.

"Oh yeah, puppy, it's me." He said cheerfully. "After what happened in Hollow Bastion or Radiant Garden or whatever...I lost you." He sighed. "Sorry about that, puppy. I'm just glad you came." Saix nodded.

"I've missed you so much, Lea. I found a home for us! For people like us...for Nobodies." Saix said, before turning back to Xemnas and smiling at him. "Master, this is Lea. Lea, this is my master, Xemnas."

"I'm not your master, Saix." Xemnas grumbled. He saw the redhead staring at him with something that was either hatred or an overprotective fury. He noted him shifting to stand in front of Saix and he sighed, closing his eyes in frustration. He turned to face the Nobody, and as their eyes met, he drew a new name out of the darkness. "Axel." He murmured. Saix watched him for a moment before shaking his head.

"Master...is it all right if I still call him Lea?" Saix asked, head tilting slightly to the side as he watched Xemnas with wide eyes. Xemnas sighed.

"Saix, we are trying to leave our old lives behind. We are seeking a new existence, a new completion..." Xemnas reminded him. Axel narrowed his eyes. Saix nodded.

"I'm aware, master...but he's still my Lea...may I, master? I beg of you..." Saix whispered, bowing his head slightly to hide his tears. Xemnas sighed as he stroked the tips of Saix's ears with gentle care.

"Oh, all right." Xemnas grumbled. "I suppose it won't matter if my most devoted member indulges himself occasionally." Xemnas watched with a slight hunger as Saix's eyes lit up and he smiled happily. Xemnas knew full well Saix wasn't aware of how stunning he was. But Xemnas was aware, and, as he allowed his second-in-command to indulge in simple pleasures, he would induge in his.

* * *

Axel had come back to the castle with them without any hesitation, pacing around Saix in what was clearly a warning for Xemnas to back off. The others watched with amusement. If it had been normal circumstances, they would have known the outcome. Xemnas would 'dispose' of whoever had attempted to take his Saix away from him and they would've been tasked with cleaning the blood off the walls. However, Axel and Saix's friendship...well now, that was the wild card.

Saix had been trailing after him all day and relating his experiences with the Organization, completely unaware that even as he continued on, Axel continued to get more and more agitated. Xemnas would have attempted to put a stop to it, but Saix, in a rare show of defiance, begged to be allowed to spend time with Axel.

What surprised the Apprentices more than the new Nobody himself was the fact that Xemnas gave in. However, by the time dinner had rolled around, his patience was wearing thin. Xemnas watched Saix gaze at Axel as he held a conversation with Xigbar and Xaldin, spindly fingers moving animatedly as he emphasized his point. Zexion sighed, nudging Vexen and pointing at Xemnas. Vexen nodded at him, turning to Xemnas.

"Xeh, you ought to calm down. Saix is simply grateful for his friend coming home. If anything, he is most likely even more grateful towards you for having brought Axel back to him." He reminded him. Saix heard this and turned to Xemnas, a brilliant smile spreading across his face.

"Vexen is correct, my master." He replied. "I am eternally grateful for what you have done for both Lea and I...you are a master worthy of my service." Xemnas sighed.

"Saix, I did it because you are my second-in-command, and you are a devoted member of this Organization. And don't call me your master." He drawled, even now, after just two weeks, accepting it was a pointless endeavor. Axel narrowed his eyes and began to watch Xemnas carefully. Saix whimpered.

"But master...does that mean it meant nothing to you? All the wonderful things you have done for me?" He asked. Xemnas winced, seeing Saix almost shrink into himself as he looked up at Xemnas with pleadingly sad eyes.

"We cannot feel, Saix. We don't have hearts. Yet...I can honestly say it does make me think I have done something for you that would be worth at least a remembrance of feelings." He replied. It took Saix a second to grasp what he meant, but then he simply nodded.

"I understand, my master, and I accept what you've told me." He murmured. Xemnas felt that insistent tugging in his chest once more. He sent a quiet oath its' way, knowing it wouldn't matter, in any case. It didn't make him any less annoyed, however. He sighed and stood up from the table, watching Saix rise to follow him.

"Will you come back with me to my office, Saix? I have a few things I wish to discuss with you." Xemnas asked. Saix nodded enthusiastically and prepared to follow his master out of the kitchen. Then he heard the scrape of a chair being pushed back quickly, and he turned around to stare at cause of the sound.

"Lea? Are you all right?" Saix asked. His completely naive expression merely made the entire situation more amusing for the others, who simply watched to see what would happen. Axel snarled.

"No, Isa, I'm not all right. This rotten..._bastard..._thinks he can take advantage of you? Well he can fuckin' think again!" He roared. Saix opened his mouth to protest, but it was too late. Axel had already slammed his fist into Xemnas' face. As they all watched flames leap around his hand as he snarled epithets while pulling Saix towards him, there was silence for a second.

Then Lexaeus burst out laughing.


	3. To be a Master

(HEY EVERYONE

A REAL FICLET

OMG

That's my interpretive haiku for the day. In other news, I wrote a haiku for each of the Organization, (five-eight-five style for everyone except Vexen, who has six-seven-six), thereby proving I am not only a huge nerd, but that I'm a literature nerd too. Hooray!

Right, so like, short ficlet, but that's what I guess they are suppose to be. D: I'm sorry, I don't know what the real length is supposed to be and it's like OH GOD IS IT TOO SHORT but I don't think so. Anyways, enjoy! With this, hopefully updates on the minificlets daily--the longer ones, in the future, will probably take two days, but I can bang these out pretty fast.

Don't own KH, big shock, can I stop saying it please?

Dedicated to the whole team that worked to make KH, because hey, they're the reason I wrote this fanfic.)

* * *

Saix had done his best to soothe his master's pain, but he knew that Lea was still angry with Xemnas. He sighed. He ought to abate the fury that was already raging within Lea. "Master? May I go talk to him?" Saix pleaded. Xemnas winced, pressing the ice pack against his burn for a moment.

"Yes, I suppose. I'll be all right, Saix. I'm going to head up to bed. You'll be joining me soon?" Xemnas asked. Saix nodded, laying a cool hand against his master's burning cheek once more.

"Of course, my master." He replied, turning and leaving the room, presumably to find Axel and cool his temper. Xemnas sighed.

The brat was Saix's friend. He knew that. But Axel needed to learn that Saix belonged to _him _and himself alone. Xemnas groaned, fingers grazing burned skin. Although, that should wait until the burn had healed.

Saix sighed, walking down the halls of the castle and thinking about what to say to Lea. He loved his friend dearly, and would go to the ends of the earth for him; but he didn't understand why Lea didn't like Xemnas. His master was a good man, and he had done his best to be with him, even though they didn't have hearts.

He knew Lea got jealous very easily, but he didn't know what Lea had to be jealous _about. _Xemnas was his master, and there was no reason to be jealous about him being so devoted to Xemnas--it wasn't like he didn't love Lea any longer, heart or not...

Saix decided he'd ask Lea just why he was so jealous later. For now, he needed to find Lea himself. It only took an instant for Saix to pick up his breathing pattern, and as he followed the steady pattern, he noted with wry amusement he could also hear punches being thrown at the wall.

Saix found Axel pacing the top floor of the castle, his newfound room seeming more like a cage to keep his rage from sparking. Saix sighed, standing at the doorframe and watching his friend for a moment. "Lea?" He called. Axel turned to him and snarled, before realizing it was Saix. He sighed in relief.

"Hey, Isa-puppy." He murmured. "You're free from that bastard now?" Saix sighed, sitting on the bed and watching his friend clamber over to join him.

"Lea, he's my master." He replied, laying his head on his friend's shoulder. "He saved me when I was nothing more than a monster. He..." Saix sighed. "Lea, we're Nobodies now. We don't have hearts. Yet...I felt this...tugging. In my chest. It hurt at first, and I didn't understand what it was..." Saix smiled. "But then I looked into my master's eyes, and I was certain of it. He was the man I was supposed to devote my life to, the one I knew I must serve always."

Axel raised an eyebrow. "So you're in love with him, Isa."

Saix started violently, almost falling off the bed as he stared at his friend in horror. "Lea! We don't have any hearts! Have you not been listening to me?!" He snapped. Axel snorted.

"Oh fuck that, no way that's not total bullshit. One look at you, puppy, with that soppy devotion in your eyes..." He grinned. "You'd think he was a saint from the way you look at him." Axel put a finger to his lips, biting it as he mused. "Yeah, the patron saint of Isa's sex drive." He teased. Saix snarled at him, pushing him off the bed with a huff of annoyance. He heard his friend curse in pain, and although Saix felt bad for it, he had to admit he felt a certain sense of satisfaction from it.

Axel glared up at him as Saix fought down a smirk. "Isa..." He said, suddenly getting serious as he climbed back up on the bed. Saix watched him for a moment, stunned by the change in his attitude.

"Yes, Lea?" He asked, cocking his head and staring at his friend curiously. Axel sighed.

"Look, Isa...I want you to be happy. But I want you to know that you don't belong to _anyone. _Not me, not Xemnas, not anyone. You are your own person still, heart or not. Just..." Axel sighed. "Please promise me you won't let him tell you to do anything stupid." He narrowed his eyes. "Like, if he asks you to sleep with him, you tear his throat out." Saix's eyes widened.

"Lea, Xemnas would never do that to me! I...I don't...he would never! Xemnas is a perfect gentleman, and I couldn't ask for a better master!" He told Axel, unable to stop his face heating up even as he said it.

Then a portal opened outside their door, and as the two men looked up, Xemnas opened the door and glared at Axel for a moment before he turned to Saix. "I've been getting worried, Saix. Are you coming to bed?" He asked.

Axel's eye twitched. Saix simply sighed, holding his friend back and glancing pointedly at Xemnas, who didn't need to be told twice before disappearing back into the darkness.

"I'll kill him someday, I swear to god." Axel growled. Saix just rolled his eyes.


	4. Ocean Games

(All right, so~! I'm trying to /get/ everyone to the castle as fast as I can--trust me, there's going to be a lot of moments in the interim. This does initially follow a loose plot, so yeah. Anyways.

It's funny--this update talks about how much Xigbar hates Atlantica, (with good reason, mind you), and after watching _The Little Mermaid _in class I was like 'dude holy crap XigDem movie.' So I'm working on it! It's going to be a mix of the original legend with some Disneyfying and a bit of original additions. Plus gayness all over the damn place, but what else is new?

Also DEMYX IS SO CUTE HAHA AWWW. He's always been cute and always will be, so yeah. ^^

I don't own Kingdom Hearts, yes, yes.

Dedicated to the hope of warmer weather soon!)

* * *

Xigbar yawned, stretching in bed and sprawling out over the covers. "Fuck." He grumbled. "I guess I gotta get up..." He muttered to himself, sitting up and managing to slide off his bed. He groaned.

Christ, when was the last time they'd found a Nobody? He geniunely couldn't remember. He sighed. "Prolly what Xeh wants to make me do today." Xigbar dressed quickly, yanking his hair through a hairbrush and wincing at the sharp pain as the knots were yanked out. "Hell with it, yo, he sends me back to Atlantica or something and I'm going to hit him."

He headed down the steps, zipping his coat up as he walked on air just for the hell of it. He grinned. The feeling of airwalking was amazing. Emotions or not, it was just _fun, _something he didn't get to have very often.

He jumped down from the air, landing on the balls of his feet and opening the door to the kitchen. Xaldin and Axel were already there, and Xigbar sat inbetween them, snatching a piece of toast and stealing the jam from Axel and slathering it on. As Axel glared at him, Xigbar simply smirked, leaning back in his chair. He sighed happily, savoring a normal breakfast in the castle.

It was then Xemnas walked in, his timing so perfect that Xigbar would've sworn he had read it off a cue card. "Xigbar, I need you to go to Atlantica." He purred, a smile tugging at his lips.

Within an instant, Xigbar had Sharpshooter at his throat. Xemnas rolled his eyes. "I promise it's not because I find your suffering amusing, Braig. There's been reports of a Nobody there...he appears to control water. Atlantica would be, as I hope is obvious, a perfect place for him to fight in. That's why I need you--you're strong, you're fast, and you know the place better than any of us." He purred. Xigbar pressed Sharpshooter closer, as Xemnas swallowed. "And, as I may have neglected to mention, you won't have to go back ever again." He said hurriedly.

Xigbar smirked, relaxing his grip on Sharpshooter with a snort of amusement. "That's more like it, Xeh-Xeh. I'll head out now, then. If I come back with a trail of corpses following in my wake, don't blame me, they were askin' for it." He said, disappearing into a Corridor with a cheerful wave. Xemnas rolled his eyes.

* * *

Xigbar absolutely loathed Atlantica. If that wasn't already obvious enough to everyone within castle, he really, _really_ hated Atlantica.

(Which might have been why Xemnas always sent him there.)

The dolphins and fish would gather for "rhythm games", and that noise they made would be in his head for the rest of his life, sitting there and waiting for him to return so it could dominate his frontal lobe.

To top that off, he was an orca. The "killer whale" motif amused him, but he had a _dorsal fin. _He was a _mermaid. _It wasn't exactly the manliest guise.

He sighed. He was going to find this Nobody, slam him over the head with Sharpshooter, and go home. He'd never have to come back again. He just had to survive one more mission.

"_Under the sea! Under the sea! Baby it's better, down where it's wetter, take it from me!" _A series of trilling voices reached his ears, already lodging themselves in his brain. Xigbar cocked Sharpshooter, aimed, and fired.

As blood mixed with the water, he sighed. "God, fuck my life."

With a small flick of his tail, Xigbar propelled himself through the water at a breakneck pace, admitting to himself that the feeling of swimming was nice. The water soothed his old wounds, giving peace to the battle scars that still ached. He closed his eyes and let the water run over him, gliding over his skin as he sped through the depths of the ocean.

His ears picked up the sound of something rustling in the kelp. He kept still and waited for another sign from the creature.

There was a soft sighing sound from the kelp as it rustled in a small current. Xigbar tensed.

Suddenly, a boy darted out of the kelp, gliding up to him and leaning in close. Xigbar met his eyes and noted almost unconsciously that they were a deep, shining blue that seemed to fade into the ocean behind him with little effort. The boy giggled, darting away from him and flicking his tail teasingly. Xigbar's eyes narrowed.

One Nobody could sense another. This little kid was a _Nobody_. Xigbar snorted in derision. He was too cute to be a Nobody. Hell, he was too cute to be a _boy. _He rolled his eyes and propelled himself through the water once more, searching for the little kitten who'd piqued his interest enough to chase.

The water was starting to get cooler and darker as he pushed farther down. He heard a soft laugh bubbling through the water and into his ear. Xigbar growled in annoyance and turned around to pinpoint the laughter. Suddenly, he was swamped by a massive current that yanked him deeper down. Xigbar let terror pierce his consciousness for a moment as he realized that he still needed to breathe.

Then a small whimper interrupted his thoughts. Xigbar turned around to see the boy again. Their eyes met, and Xigbar felt as if he'd stopped breathing. The boy reached out slowly towards him. Xigbar didn't move. The boy got slightly closer and traced his chest, tapping the spot where his heart would have been. He pointed to his own chest and tapped it in the same spot. Xigbar nodded.

The boy smiled. Xigbar simply watched him for a moment before he finally spoke. "I want to play." He murmured. Xigbar snorted, raising an eyebrow.

"So? What am I supposed to do about that?" He asked. The boy laughed, flicking his tail in Xigbar's face gently. Xigbar wrinkled his nose in shock, which just made the boy laugh harder.

"Play with me!" He said cheerfully. Xigbar stared incredulously at him.

"If it's a rhythm game, I'll kill you where you stand." He muttered. The boy burst out laughing.

"Nooo! I promise! But you have to play, 'kay?" He said. Xigbar chewed his lip for a moment in thought. He might be able to bring the boy home if he won... He shrugged. Eh, what the hell. It couldn't hurt.

"I will." Xigbar replied. "But first, can you tell me your name?" He asked.

The boy smiled once more. "You have to tell me your name first." He said cheerfully. Xigbar rolled his eye in amusement.

"Xigbar." He replied. "My name's Xigbar." Then he grinned. "Now tell me your name, kiddo."

The boy's face went blank. Xigbar winced. Right. New Nobody. He sighed. Xemnas could pull a name out of the darkness at will, but...

_Demyx. _

Xigbar finally looked up at him. The tugging in his chest returned, pulling at him harder than it had before. The boy watched him and Xigbar knew that tugging was hurting him too--he had grasped his chest, and he was whimpering.

Xigbar had to make his pain go away. Had to.

"Demyx." He murmured. "Yeah, Demyx...I'll play."


	5. Loquacious Verbosity

(WHO SUCKS AT UPDATES

I SUCK AT UPDATES

THEY'RE SUCH SUCKY UPDATES

I SUCK AT UPDATES.

Yeah, I'm not sure either. Anyways, **PMs TODAY AND TOMORROW I SWEAR.**

God I suck at this stuff, I'm so sorry. Does Xaldin's amazing awesomeness of awesome verbosity make up for it? Dude I love him so hard.

Also yeah, I crammed in a lot of drabbles because I STILL FEEL BAD. Look, I hate to beg, but people. PLEASE just tell me 'it's okay to update with little 500 word ficlets, I don't mind,' because otherwise I will NEVER update. I know this sounds weird but I need to know it's okay.

Don't own, don't care.

Dedicated to my loyal reviewers who put up with my sporadic updates.)

* * *

Demyx giggled. "Okay, Xigbar! The game is easy. It's just tag! Whichever one of us tags the other and makes it back here without getting tagged back first wins!" He flicked his tail in Xigbar's face. "You think you can handle it?" Xigbar snorted.

"Kitten, I've been playing shit like this since you were in the fuckin' cradle. Hell yeah." He replied. Demyx's eyes widened as his mouth dropped open in shock.

"Oooh, Xigbar...you _cussed_." He murmured. Xigbar stared at him in amazement.

"You've never heard someone curse? Holy fuckin' shit, you've had one hell of a motherfuckin' sheltered fuckin' life." He muttered. Demyx gasped.

"Xigbar, stop it! Cursing is bad!" He wailed, tail whipping around in the water. Xigbar merely raised an eyebrow.

"What d'ya think you're gonna do about it, kid?" He replied, smirking at the younger boy. Demyx huffed, narrowing his eyes and glaring at him.

"I'm gonna tell you that if you lose, you aren't allowed to cuss at all until the day is over." He said solemnly, keeping his gaze level and steady as he watched him. Xigbar burst out laughing.

"As if! Fuckin' A, kitten, you're fuckin' on!" He snapped, darting up from his spot, high into the water. Demyx grinned.

"Oh, okay..." He purred, laughing as he tagged Xigbar and darted away from him within an instant.

Xigbar snarled, darting right after him, tail slicing through the water as he focused on his target. His cute little kitten had already gotten ahead of him, but Braig had been a member of Ansem's guard! Hell, he could handle this kid! Spurred on by his declaration, he thrust himself through the water, reaching out his hands to snag Demyx's tail. He tugged on it and crowed, "Tag, kitten!" He darted off instantly, trying frantically to make it back to the safe spot. The water was streaming out behind him and he felt free and alive, exhilarated by a battle, even if it was only for play rather than a fight.

Then suddenly, he felt a gentle hand brush up his back and tug on his ponytail. "Tag, Xigbar." He shot up, turning in shock to see Demyx rushing right for the safe spot. Xigbar snarled.

"What the hell?! You were just over there!" He roared, darting after him. Demyx burst out laughing. It was then Xigbar turned around to see _another _Demyx. As he gaped in shock, watching Demyx tap the safe spot and sit on it, the _real_ Demyx giggled.

"Water clones." He murmured.

* * *

Xigbar stormed through the castle, slamming every door he came across and kicking anything that got in his way into the limbo of space-time. Demyx had been accepted into the Organization as Number IX, but that wasn't why everyone else was smiling in the hallways.

It was because of his little "bet" with Xigbar himself. Apparently, he'd forbidden Xigbar to curse for the rest of the day, something that greatly amused the rest of the castle.

"F-f-oh, the h-h-ARGH! God, I hate this kid!" Xigbar roared, kicking a stack of books over as he stormed into the library. Xaldin flipped a page in his book, barely raising an eyebrow.

"Don't kick those over, Xigbar, they're the ones I haven't finished." He replied. Xigbar snarled at him. Xaldin simply smirked. "Oh dear, Xigbar, your blue balls seem to be showing themselves in full force today." He purred. Xigbar whipped his head around to stare at his friend. Xaldin simply watched him.

"Oh, you are absolutely f-f-oh, you're just kidding me!" Xigbar snarled. "He's an evil, twisted, altogether satanic member of the demon plane! He's--"

"An adorable little kid with a sitar that greeted Xeh-Xeh with a hug. Really, Xigbar." Xaldin drawled. Xigbar growled at him. Xaldin simply burst out laughing. "He is indeed an adorable little kid. You ought to chase after him, Braig. I think he'd be good for you." He teased. Xigbar narrowed his eye.

"Xaldin, I think I have about six or seven years on the kid." He snapped. Xaldin shook his head.

"Uh-uh. I think Axel asked--Demyx is about twenty-six. That's not that much difference. Besides, he's scared, alone, and probably totally lost right now. A 'fish out of water', if you'll pardon the well-worn pun." Xaldin grimaced. "At any rate, it would behoove you to at least get to know him. Now go, Xigbar. As amusing as it is to hear you try to choke back another swear that happens to be in your mammoth syntax of curses, I have a book to read."

"Have I mentioned I absolutely _loathe_ you when you get exceedingly verbose?" Xigbar snapped. Xaldin flipped another page.

"Indeed, my loquacious verbosity has been stated quite eloquently to be a source of both antagonism and virulent, oft-times volatile, distemper at my person." He replied.

With an agonized shriek of frustration, Xigbar threw his hands up and stormed out of the room.


	6. Determination

(Hooray for reassurance~ Yes I feel so bad for being like WAAH I NEED SELF CONFIDENCE but I guess my standards are stupidly high. Anyhoodle.

I want to get this out there quick; Demyx was not raped. Believe me, I'm aware not every problem goes back to rape; a LOT of my problems happen not to have anything to do with molestation. It was something else entirely. As to what, well... You'll see.

Also sadness now but major fluff in the next few chapters. Like, 'barf me a rainbow' fluff. You're welcome. ^^

Dedicated to all of my fans, once again, for geniunely caring about the work I write. It makes me so happy; you don't even know how absolutely grateful I am for every review. You all rock the casbah so hard.)

* * *

Demyx sighed, looking around his room. It was so...so..._dull. _He groaned. The walls were silver, the floor was silver, the bed was white, everything was white! It was driving him insane!

He turned to face his sitar. Arpeggio, better known as Peggy, was his lone companion after his transition. He smiled at her. "Heya, Peggy." He murmured. "How do you like it here?"

The sitar twanged. Demyx winced. "Yeah, I know it's a little boring, but we'll cheer the room up soon! I have to see if anyone has some paints around...what do you think about navy, Peggy?"

Peggy's strings hummed. Demyx grinned. "Oh, okay. Yeah, navy and pale blue sounds good. I'll see what we can do tomorrow. For now, I guess--" He suddenly heard a knock at the door. Demyx started in shock, realizing his door was open and Xigbar was standing in the doorway.

"Hey." He murmured. "Came to check on you." He paused. "Who were you _talking _to?" Xigbar asked. Demyx grinned, clasping Peggy in his hands. Xigbar's raised eyebrow almost disappeared into his hairline. Demyx giggled.

"Oh, this is Arpeggio--it's okay to call her Peggy, though. She's my sitar." He said cheerfully. Xigbar simply continued to stare at him. Demyx grinned. "Yeah, I know. She's really awesome though. I've had her for a long time...since, before, um..." He trailed off. Xigbar desperately tried to backpedal. Anything to stop the tugging sensation in his chest, anything to stop Demyx from crying.

"Right, so, Demyx...has everything worked out okay?" Even as he said it, Xigbar felt like kicking himself in the teeth. It sounded absolutely idiotic and so _shallow. _But it seemed to work. Demyx looked up at him and gave him a small smile. Xigbar blinked. _Christ, kid, you could light up a whole damn room with that smile._

"Ummm, my room...it...it...oh, Xigbar, it's so boring!" Demyx snapped. Xigbar's eye widened. Well, he hadn't expected that. Demyx blushed and looked away. "Yeah, that sounds really silly, but...oh, I just can't stand plain ol' white!" He looked up at Xigbar hopefully. "Do you have any blue paint?" Xigbar was trying to piece together what had happened. One minute Demyx looked ready to bawl, the next minute something as normal as painting his room had taken over his thoughts.

Xigbar sighed, shaking his head. He'd probe that wound later. Right now, he had a little kitten to keep happy. "I don't, Demyx. But I figure by tomorrow there's gotta be _some _world that sells it we can go to. Is that okay?" Demyx pouted.

If anyone asked him about it, Xigbar would deny it, even under _torture, _but he had officially become putty in this kid's hands. Demyx was still pouting, and now his lower lip was _trembling. _Xigbar winced. "B-but...Xigbar, I can't stand such a boring room! Not even for one night!" He wailed.

"Then sleep in mine." Xigbar had no idea where the hell that had come from, but his mind seemed to agree completely. Demyx's eyes got wide, and a sort of hunted look had crept into them. Xigbar tried furiously to rescind his mistake. "Oh, god, Dem, not like that. No, I meant..." Demyx's eyes had gone to a far away place, and he was trembling.

"I didn't mean to..." He murmured. "Please don't." Xigbar yanked him close, shaking him gently.

"Demyx, wherever the hell you are, you're not there anymore. Wake up!" He shouted, feeling Demyx trying to fight his way out of his grip. "Demyx! Demyx, god damn it!" He roared. There was a pause. Then a soft giggle.

"Xigbar, you promised not to cuss." Demyx looked up at him with a small smile on his lips. Xigbar groaned. Demyx laughed, and the odd grip his past had gotten on him dissipated. Xigbar sighed.

"Okay, Dem, I broke the bet. In exchange, for breaking the bet, I will help you paint your room tomorrow. Sound fair?" He asked. Demyx's eyes lit up. Xigbar grinned. "That's a yes." He paused. "Oh, and I think Axel already basically painted his room with stuff he _says _isn't blood, but coming from a triggerhappy lunatic, I'm telling you that is so a lie." Demyx giggled.

"Okay, Xigbar. That does sound fair." He yawned. "Can you tell Xemnas I can't make it to dinner? I'm super tired..." Xigbar nodded.

"S'fine, kitten. Go get some rest. I'll let Axel know you're in his room for a bit, 'kay? He won't mind." He murmured. Demyx nodded, taking a blanket and disappearing into a Corridor.

Once he was sure Demyx was gone, Xigbar stormed right down the hallway, not even realizing he had risen above the floor until he slammed open the door to the kitchen and found himself getting an odd look from Xemnas. It didn't matter to him right then, at any rate.

"Someone hurt Demyx, and I want to find out why." He snapped. Vexen raised an eyebrow, pulling a chair out for him as Xigbar threw himself down into it.

"Really? What gave it away, Xigbar?" He asked. Xigbar snarled.

"Okay, so he didn't want to sleep in such a plain room, so I offered to let him stay in mine--_non-sexually, _mind you, so don't give me that look, Xemnas, you're one to talk--and he spazzed the fuck out." He replied. "Like, his eyes went blank, he was talking to someone else entirely, and he was trembling. I know those signs, damn it." Xigbar sighed. "Something happened to him. I want to know what it is, and I'll do anything to find out what happened."

Xemnas paused for a moment, considering something. "Braig...this might sound like an odd question, but...when you found him, did you happen to feel...almost like a tugging sensation in your chest?" He asked. Xigbar nodded feverently. Xemnas sighed. "I see. I think I may have to think about this entire situation slightly. For the time being, don't push too hard, Braig. He's clearly suffering from something, and if you try too much to find out what it is, you might open an old wound far more than you should."

Xigbar nodded. "I know, Xeh. Don't worry about it too much. I'll be able to find a way around it. For now..." He sighed. "I'll let it die. I can wait until he's settled in." Xemnas raised an eyebrow.

"And once he is, Braig?" He asked. Xigbar snorted.

"Then I'm not gonna rest until I find out." He replied.


	7. Moondance

(Okay, sorry about the short update that's off schedule too, (bad self!) but I had a lot of family stuff this weekend. Mother's Day and brother's communion, and I, even though I am a godless-ish heathen, had to attend church. I'm surprised I didn't burst into flame.

So yeah, XemSai foreshadowing~? Can this be!? Yes. It can.

Also just so you know you'll love me for it so hard in like two chapters. Bring your tissues; nosebleeds will be imminent. Just...just bring tissues.

SO normal schedule starting tomorrow, yep yep yep. ^^ I'm very sorry about awkward scheduling; if it helps, the mermaid-fic is being worked on and will be ready for updating by the time I'm finished; it might be awhile, two more weeks or so, but I want to have the whole thing finished by June if possible.

Don't own, yeah yeah yeah...

Dedicated to everyone who needs the pick-me-up! (Because I can't get enough of that dedication; if it's made at least one person feel a little more special and happier, it makes me feel a bit happier too~)

* * *

After dinner had finished, Axel headed to his room to check on Demyx. The other Nobody was about the same age as him, but he was definitely nothing like him. Demyx was already showing himself to be a shy little sweetheart; for a moment, Axel grinned, imagining the idea of him and Xigbar in a relationship. Demyx was just too cute. He sighed, heading down the hallway and towards his room.

Although, from the way Demyx had behaved when he'd first come home; hugging Xigbar and smiling at everyone and asking so many questions and seeming so truly interested...he had to have bonded with Xigbar quite a bit. Axel snorted. Well, he was just going to wait this one out. He liked Xigbar as a mentor, and Demyx already seemed to be like the perfect cute little _protege_, but he had Isa to keep away from his newfound master. Axel groaned, stopping in front of his door and opening it with care and stepping in quietly, unwilling to wake up Demyx.

The young Nobody was curled up in a mass of blankets in the corner, snoring peacefully. Axel grinned. He seemed fine, but... Axel still couldn't shake what Xigbar had said. And that tugging feeling, well...

Axel clambered up onto his bed, unzipping his coat and kicking his boots off. He sighed, leaning back and closing his eyes. According to Isa and that rotten bastard who had taken advantage of his puppy, they no longer had hearts. But apparently, now there was a "tugging" feeling. A link. Axel rolled over, deep in thought. A link...connecting two people. Even without a heart. Could it even work that way?

Axel decided he had absolutely no clue. Although from the sound of things, his puppy-stealer of a Superior was taking a look into it. Axel huffed. "Guess I'll find out later." He murmured. "Night, Demyx." He called out to the blonde before curling up under a blanket and falling asleep.

* * *

Down the hallway and straight towards Xemnas' room, Saix undressed, staring up at Kingdom Hearts. He stood naked in front of his goddess without shame or inhibitions, head tilted back slightly to gaze at her form better as he left the room and opened the bay window, following the path out to the courtyard. He was completely unaware of his surroundings, enough so that even as his master walked into the room and watched through the open window, Saix kept his eyes on the moon.

Xemnas, however, had his eyes on something else.

The Superior swallowed, trying to fight down the base animal feelings of lust within him as he watched his second-in-command commune with the moon. He looked so peaceful, so joyous, so brilliant that it almost hurt to watch him. Whatever energy the two shared, it was enough to give him the deep well of 'emotion' that came with being a berserker...yet the still waters of worship and grace. Saix's cobalt hair spilled down his back, every strand seeming to hum singularly with an ethereal lunar energy. His fangs glinted under the eerie light as he tilted his head back slightly further and opened his mouth in a perfect 'o' shape as if to drink in the rays of the moon.

With a small rumble of power deep in his throat, Saix pressed a clawed hand against his chest, right where his heart had been. He traced a delicate path across the small area of his chest where it had once laid under, sketching out a crude heart-shaped symbol. The claws were sharped than he had expected; a small hiss of pain left Saix's lips as a thin line of blood followed after the minor incision he'd made with his claw. The small beads of blood stayed static on his skin, holding the shape of a heart even under the all-consuming light of Kingdom Hearts. Saix smiled with satisfaction before suddenly throwing his head back and howling.

His howl was almost like a signal to the rest of his body; his claymore was at his side in an instant and the berserker state had overtaken him. The only beat to keep time was the pounding of Saix's feet upon the stone ground of the courtyard, but it was as if the diviner had danced this same ritual endless times. Each step was measured as well as viciously graceful; it was some sort of wild mix between a prowl for the hunt and a dance of worship and celebration. His hair was floating around his face now, framing it as perfectly as if a small bubble of water had formed around him and left his hair to drift aimlessly in its' currents. It shone to different degrees as each turn of Saix's body and swing of his sword divided the rays of the moon and let them settle on separate parts of his body.

Saix didn't seem to be tiring of his dance; on the contrary, his movements were picking up as Kingdom Hearts began to glow brighter and brighter, as if giving him her own gift, her own dance of adoration. The two seemed to dance and shine in sync now; for a moment, Xemnas wondered if Kingdom Hearts had decided to answer his prayers for completion in a different way and send him the most beautiful avatar she could have fashioned. The two seemed to hold the same purpose to him in that moment; as he watched Saix, he realized that even with a heart, he had never felt more alive than he had while watching him dance. He stayed where he was, unwilling to ruin the moment.

Suddenly, with a single graceful pause in step, Saix ceased even breathing. Xemnas froze, mind whirring away as he wondered if he'd interrupted something. Then Saix relaxed.

"She is so beautiful." Saix murmured, his back to his master as he looked up to gaze in adoration at his madonna, his mother, his moon. Xemnas started, gathering his thoughts quickly to listen to him. "You understand her beauty as well, don't you, my master?" He asked. Xemnas could only nod.

"Kingdom Hearts is our completion. It is indeed beautiful." He replied, knowing that beautiful wasn't enough to describe what he had just seen Saix do. Saix whuffed with amusement, closing his eyes and inclining his head in a show of respect towards the moon before he finally turned to Xemnas.

_Oh, nature was kind to you, my pet. _Xemnas immediately beat down the thought with steel-toed boots as he watched Saix. His diviner smiled, crossing the courtyard and heading back into their room with a constant fluid motion. Xemnas realized he was trembling now, his whole body thrumming with a strange sort of energy as he watched Saix climb into their bed and sit, clearly waiting for him. Xemnas swallowed, following him as quick as possible, darting through the window and undressing as he crossed the room and joined Saix on their bed. Saix smiled at him, nodding gratefully at the realization Xemnas had left the window open for him to gaze at Kingdom Hearts.

"Will you dance with me, my master?" Saix murmured, sitting up on his knees and watching the moon. "Tomorrow her light will shine the brightest. Will you join me in celebration, my master?" He asked. Xemnas was all too painfully aware of Saix's voice, running through him and taking over his thoughts entirely.

"Yes." He could only whisper now, voice completely gone as he laid back in their bed, watching his pet join him under the blanket. "Yes, Saix. Anything for you."


	8. Phonetic Italian Opera

(I confess; I am an opera fan. Nothing to confess, mind you. It's a hardcore, legitimate form of art. You kids these days with your hip-hop and your iPods and your Google and your Britney Spears and your trailing off into Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series references...

RIGHT, so; because I am a living wikipedia, I will share this bit of trivia. Xigbar's title, "The Freeshooter," is actually based off a German opera of the same name. So he's an opera fan now because it makes sense and it just sounds awesome on paper. You know it does.

Short chapter, but yeah, you expect these things, don't own, I need to tinker with my profile some, and yeah.

Dedicated to all my old fans who are starting to come out of the woodwork slightly~ I had disappeared for a long time and then come back to such a nice reception; it makes me really happy!)

* * *

The next morning, Demyx awoke first, greeted by the oddly comforting sound of Axel snoring. He smiled to himself and relished the comfort the blanket gave him, the protection of being cocooned in it. It was a safe place. He hadn't had a safe place in a long time.

The moment was ruined when Axel yawned, rolling off the bed and landing right on top of him. Demyx yelped, but Axel barely even registered the blonde trying to shove him off. "Mornin', Dem." He mumbled, standing up and stretching. Demyx rolled his eyes, but Axel simply smirked. "Better hurry up and look alive, Demyx. Xigbar promised to help you paint this morning, remember?"

Demyx started with shock. He _had. _The blonde stood, tugging on his boots and darting out the door. Axel snorted in amusement. "Try not to look so adorable, Dem, you're cramping my style!" Demyx yelled something unintelligible back at him, but Axel ignored it, following after his new friend barefoot, not even pretending to care about his own shoes.

Xigbar sighed, waking up in his own room. His new mission was going to be one of the most obnoxiously difficult he'd ever taken on...plus it was going to have far more lingering consequences than anything else he'd done after he'd lost his heart. He shook his head. No, now wasn't the time to dwell on that. His new task could either heal someone or break them beyond repair, and he was going in completely blind. He snorted, standing up in bed and walking across the air to his dresser, yanking his coat out and dressing quickly.

He took his time getting to the kitchen, enjoying the peace and quiet in the hallways. However, he couldn't resist taking Sharpshooter and plunging a few arrows in Xemnas' door, just as a "wake-up call," (as he would call it, for the sake of politeness.) It put a wicked smile on his face, one he still had as he opened the kitchen door and swaggered in, sitting in a chair and snatching a cup of coffee off the counter and dumping sugar and cream into the mug before finally looking around the room at grinning at his haggard, still-half-asleep friends.

"As always, your interruption of our peaceful routine is appreciated, Xigbar." Xaldin teased, keeping the Freeshooter's gaze even as he glowered at his friend. Suddenly, a definite slam resounded against the door, a muffled squeal of pain, and then a quick fumbling with the doorknob. Then Demyx burst in.

"Oh, oh I'm not late, am I? I'm really sorry, Axel told me I was 'cramping his style' so I came here by myself, but I kind of didn't know where I was so I kind of came late, and I'm really sorry, everyone!" He said, slightly out of breath with his hair mussed and his coat disheveled. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were bright as he smiled shyly at everyone in the room.

In a castle filled with grown men, it took an entire room's worth of self-restraint not to take that kid, cuddle him close, assure him everything would be all right, and make him a cup of tea.

"Don't apologize, Demyx. There is no need, especially since the Superior himself isn't awake yet." Then Xaldin turned to Xigbar with a wicked smirk and a twisted "I will get you to fuck him if it's the last thing I do" look in his eyes, he purred, "And, as I believe it will _become_ the routine quite soon, your interruption of our peaceful routine is appreciated, Demyx."

If Xemnas hadn't stormed in with Saix, ready to tear Xigbar a new asshole for waking him up in the middle of a very pleasant dream, (one that, of course, Axel would _maim_ him for having), Xigbar might have officially snapped and strangled Xaldin where he sat.

As it was, Demyx simply shared Zexion's tea with a small, bemused smile.

Demyx was a little hesitant to ask, but since Xigbar had promised, he knew he had to find the courage to do it. He waited, trembling with nervousness as he watched Xigbar pace around the room, shoving dishes into the sink and humming to himself. Then Demyx tilted his head, recognizing that theme.

"Xigbar..." He murmured, watching the other man pause in his humming and turn to him. Demyx strangled the urge to shrink and hide, finding his voice as he remembered the tune. "Was that Bizet, Xigbar?" The other's single golden eye widened for a moment. Demyx continued to watch him, refusing to let even the slightest bit of nervousness overtake him.

"...Yeah. It was the Toreador's theme. Although I don't know the language it's sung in. A lot of it's just humming what I've heard." He confessed. Demyx smiled.

"That's okay. It's still a really nice song. That's what I like about music...the language doesn't really matter if the feeling is the same." He murmured. Xigbar raised an eyebrow.

"I suppose you're right, kitten." He paused. Demyx had started to fidget, apparently worried he'd stepped out of bounds. Xigbar smirked. He needed to show his kitten that there _were _no bounds. At least, not with him. "Demyx, I believe I made a promise to you yesterday. If you'd like me to follow up on it, we ought to leave soon."

Demyx's eyes got wide, and a small ripple of relief visibly passed through his body. "Oh...oh, yes! I just need to go get Peggy, and I'll be ready to go!" He darted off and Xigbar sighed in amusement, following the younger boy's rushed sprint through the hallway and trying not to laugh.


	9. Blackbird Singing in the Dead of Night

(Okay so I totally forgot I had this written. But I do. SUPRISE!

Awwww so cute so cuuuuute baarf rainbows. For some reason I kept thinking of the Beatles song, "Blackbird;" if you've never heard it, give it a listen, it's worth it. ^^ So that's the theme for this little ficlet.

Gawd Demyx is so cute it hurts. Just...GOD.

Also FtM update confetti and hearts yaaaay~ Give me time to set this up and then all systems a gogo~

ALSO: Profile still being wrangled into being. I'm planning some Pokemon fics; I miss my old fandom. ^^ For anyone who read Fatal Error, big surprise; Jack and I, (the coauthor; it's on his profile), are rewriting it with a massive overhaul. You can thank TV TROPES of all things for that; a tiny entry in the "dead fic" page praising the fic made me go OMFG FIX THIS AND MAKE IT SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME so we are.

Dedicated to Daily Dream cause I love her and haven't talked to her in forever; actually, dedicated to everyone I haven't talked to in awhile. I'm sorry, I still love you I promise! D:

Don't own don't care.)

* * *

Demyx was officially the most cheerful person Xigbar had ever met. The second they'd stepped into Twilight Town, his eyes had widened and a smile had spread across his face. "Oh, Xigbar," he breathed, "it's so beautiful!" He spun around, darting around like a hummingbird as he tried to observe everything around him, fidgeting like a little kid confronted with something new. Xigbar tried--and failed--to stop smiling.

"We might as well go clothes shopping after we get the paint, kiddo." Xigbar mused, an idea coming to him all of a sudden. Demyx turned around to face him, his eyes wide with shock.

"O-oh! Oh no, that's okay, I wouldn't want to--" Demyx's stutters were cut off by Xigbar taking his chin and tilting his head up with two gentle hands.

"_I _want to, then." He purred. Demyx watched him, trying not to tremble. Xigbar cursed whoever had hurt him to a deep, vicious circle of hell before he pulled away with a small sigh. "Sorry, Dem, I won't touch you. It's okay." He murmured. Demyx nodded, smiling weakly.

"That'd be really nice, Xigbar. Thank you very much." He replied, doing his best to smile again. Xigbar sighed. Yeah, hard task. But he was up to it. He wanted desperately to be able to touch him without seeing a shiver of fear in Demyx.

They both walked in peaceful silence to the paint shop, Demyx clutching Peggy like a lifeline as Xigbar fingered a few arrowhead bullets in his sleeve, daring anyone to get close to Demyx. Thankfully, the blonde didn't notice, and simply headed straight into the store to pick out the colors for his room.

He wandered through the store, examining every shade of blue with a calculating interest before he chose three different shades and got about two gallons of each. Xigbar watched him with interest, knowing he wasn't the best Organization member to try for a stealth mission. Space manipulation or not, he was still scarred to hell and back. But Demyx didn't even _try. _Maybe Xigbar was trying too hard to hide. After all, no one seemed to suspect he was the second-highest ranking member of a deadly Organization stuffed to the gills with charismatic lunatics and battle-hardened warriors, so he could stay by Demyx's side for the most part.

With a small grin, he stepped out of the shadows to stand by Demyx's side. He was rewarded with a small, gentle smile that immediately made Xigbar feel like he was truly _alive _again. He couldn't help but marvel that something as supposedly insignificant as a smile could give him such pleasure.

"Whoever said smiles were inconsequential has never met you, Demyx." He murmured. The musician looked up, eyes wide.

"Huh?" He asked, tilting his head to stare at Xigbar with his wide, painfully innocent sapphire eyes. Xigbar swallowed.

"Oh, nothing. Are you ready to go?" He asked. Demyx smiled again.

"Oh, yes! Come on, we'll get the paint and get going, Xig!" He replied, practically sprinting up to the counter and slamming the munny down in front of the startled cashier. Xigbar couldn't help but laugh at his sudden, childish enthusiasm as he tugged him out of the store and steered him with gentle care down the street.

Demyx toted all six buckets of paint without complaint, humming to himself as he walked down the streets of Twilight Town. Xigbar knew this would be the world that would most likely have a normal store, and he'd been right; they had already found a clothing store within walking distance. Demyx loved the place; if Xigbar wouldn't have hit himself for the pun, he'd have compared it to a fish taking to water. Xigbar sighed. This world seemed to mesh with him perfectly. If he hadn't worn the coat that signified he was a member of the Organization, he would have taken him to be just another normal boy, probably going to hang out with his friends.

For some odd reason, that stung Xigbar slightly. He wasn't sure why, but as he followed Demyx to the ice cream shop, he began to try to piece it together.

He threw out the lack of a heart immediately. If he was going to try to figure out what was going on, he couldn't let his mind get sidetracked by the fact that he didn't have a heart. Right now, it didn't matter.

So what made him so anxious about having Demyx out shopping, buying ice cream and clothes and paint, finding a way to settle in with his new life? Why did his own innocent, cheerful sweetness and ability to fit into the crowd of normal humans bother him so much? Xigbar sighed.

Was it because he was worried about losing Demyx? Why would he be? Even he admitted it was a stupid idea--he'd just met Demyx. But...

No. It was because...he wanted to keep him safe. He knew it, and the epiphany hit him full in the face as he realized it. He wanted more than anything to keep Demyx away from the normal life that had apparently been his downfall. Whatever had hurt him had hurt him when he was normal. And he wanted--_needed--_to protect Demyx from that.

Xigbar groaned. Of all the situations, of all the times, of all the people... He'd just happened to find himself bonding with a cute little blonde musician. Wonderful.

But as he shook himself out of his thoughts, he realized Demyx was humming _Habanera _as he offered him one of the sea-salt ice creams from the stands that seemed to dot the streets. With that small gesture, he knew it didn't really matter to him in the slightest, and that he might as well just go along with the music and bring his little songbird into a new life.

Xigbar wasn't stupid. He knew that new life would probably be dysfunctional, possibly dangerous, and more than a bit complicated. But...

"Just keep singing, songbird." He murmured, as Demyx looked up at him and listened, enraptured by the sound of his voice so thick with emotion. "Just keep singing."

It took him a moment, but he realized Demyx was holding his hand. It was a gentle, shy gesture, but it stunned Xigbar all the same.

"I will." He murmured. "Promise."


	10. Dancing in the Dark

(FLUUUFFFF~

Because honestly? I think you guys deserve it. I mean, good lord I have given you nothing but D: worthy sad chapters for like a week. So pure, sweet, unadulterated ADORABLE. ^^

Dedicated to the beautiful weather and my BBFL Dub for having finally gotten all the good things he deserves!)

* * *

The two reappeared back in the castle, toting a box of ice cream for the freezer along with their other purchases. Xigbar went for the freezer and Demyx went to put the paint down in his room. Xigbar stuck it in hurriedly before darting back to Demyx's room.

The younger boy had put Peggy on the bed and moved it in the middle of the room. Xigbar opened the cans of paint and handed Demyx a brush. "S'your room, kiddo. You decide where everything goes. I'm just here to help." He reminded him. Demyx grinned.

"Aw, that'd be unfair! You can paint too, Xigbar!" He gave him another brush and stuck his into the light blue paint, daubing it all over the walls. Xigbar surprised himself by smiling. Alright, if Demyx thought it was all right...

He deicded he'd get the top parts so they wouldn't need a stepladder. He put himself on top of the air and leaned in to cut a swathe of navy blue paint across the wall.

Then he heard Demyx gasp.

Xigbar's instincts took over, and Sharpshooter was at his side in an instant. He turned to face the door with a snarl, ready to fight. Then he saw Demyx wasn't scared. In fact, his eyes were shining and his face had lit up as he gazed up at Xigbar. He holstered Sharpshooter and raised an eyebrow. "Demyx, are you okay?" He asked, still agitated and worried for his safety after that gasp.

"Xigbar, are you an angel?" Demyx asked.

If he hadn't had the ground about ten feet below him, Xigbar might have felt it drop out from under him.

"Demyx...I've been called a lot of things through my life. But angel has _never _been one of them." He said, still stunned by Demyx's question. "Why would you think that?" He asked. Demyx smiled again.

"Well...I just thought that maybe...you're walking on the air, and it looks like flying, or at least as close as you could get, and..." He sighed. "Sometimes this seems like a nice dream. I just thought that maybe you were just my guardian angel and I'd actually died or something...and went to heaven." He smiled nervously. "Stupid, huh? But you just...you look like an angel when you do that."

Xigbar was silent for a moment. Then he jumped down to the ground and held a hand out to Demyx. "Come on, kiddo. There's something I want to show you." Demyx followed him without hestiation as Xigbar headed down the hallway and through the castle, heading outside into the Hall of Empty Melodies. Demyx looked up at it, eyes wide with amazement.

"It's really pretty." He mused, looking up at Kingdom Hearts with wide eyes. Xigbar nodded.

"I suppose, yeah. But that's not why we're out here." He said. "Demyx, I need you to trust me for a moment. Can you?"

It was like someone had flicked a switch inside him. He began to tremble again, and he was mouthing, "_No, no, please_," under his breath as he tried to hide in the middle of a massive courtyard. Xigbar grasped his hand and took his chin in his other hand, tilting his head up so their eyes could meet.

"C'mon, songbird." He murmured, meeting his eyes and giving him a gentle, reassuring smile. "Keep singing."

Demyx watched him for a moment, his eyes still distant in memory and filled with terror. Then Xigbar began to hum. He wasn't sure what he was humming, and he really didn't care.

Suddenly, Demyx joined in. His voice was quiet at first, then strong; it became a deep, rich hum that was filled with energy and emotion. As he hummed, Xigbar took his hand and pulled Demyx up to join him. The two stood above the hall itself, presented with a view of the entire castle as Xigbar held him steady on the air. Demyx's eyes were wide with awe and amazement, and his smile had returned.

Then Xigbar led him away from the castle and into the World that Never Was itself, darkness sinking under their feet as the endless sky loomed just a bit closer. Demyx was laughing, amazement clear in his expression as he watched the entire world below him. Xigbar tried not to smile and failed miserably. Demyx's laughter was just that infectious.

Then suddenly, Demyx put one of his hands oh-so-tenatively on his shoulder, the other settling even more nervously upon his hip. "Do you know how to dance, Xigbar?" He asked. Xigbar grinned, a few happy memories surfacing.

"You know, I may look like a savage, but teacher did have about a hundred galas and the odd ball or a thousand." He replied, grinning wickedly as he recalled the fond memories. Demyx tilted his head, puzzled.

"Teacher?" He asked, tilting his head up to look at him. Xigbar nodded.

"Yeah. Wise Ansem...my teacher. I'll tell you about him later. We'll have time, as much time as we need. For now, Demyx, yes, I know how to dance." He murmured. Demyx nodded.

"Okay, you lead." He said, almost an order as he looked up at him with a hesitant smile. Xigbar grinned.

"With pleasure." He replied, taking Demyx and leading him into a dance he knew by heart. Demyx joined him beat for beat, movement for movement. The two danced on air as the sky shifted in colors above them.

"Is this what it feels like?" Demyx said. Xigbar raised an eyebrow.

"To walk on air?" He asked. "Yeah." Demyx shook his head.

"No, not that. I know we can't really feel, but...is this what it's like to be happy?" He asked.

Xigbar didn't want to tell him they couldn't feel; he didn't want to tell Demyx that he'd, frankly, forgotten what happy was supposed to feel like. Besides, he figured that with Demyx, he would eventually learn, whether he wanted to or not. That brought a smile to his face, and he could finally tell him what he needed to hear.

"Yeah, Demyx." He murmured. "This is happy."


	11. Under The Moon

(OMFG AN OGC UPDATE INORITE SHOCKING

Yeah, I had nothing written for this as I published it. And that, dear readers, is a deadly poison to my updates. However, thanks to the blessed Muses, I have been working steadfastly on this project, and can now have a few updates right after this one. So I'm good.

Also this is one of those chapters where you're liable to get a nosebleed. Just...yeah. I am such a perv, and for christ's sake, I'm a fifteen year old chick who went to CATHOLIC SCHOOL for NINE YEARS!

Although in all honesty, that might have contributed to the whole dealybob. God dammit Jesus.

In other news, the Little Mermaid fic is still in production; I've been working so hard on this that I've been failing at writing that. D: But never fear, it is still being worked on!

More news: PMs being answered today~ Just so you know.

Don't own KH~

Dedicated to I AM OUT OF SCHOOL HAHAHAHA I AM OUT OF SCHOOL HAHAHAHAHAHA OUT OF SCHOOL FREEEEEEEEEEEE!

Also: _**HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIE I LOVE YOU~**_)

* * *

After Xigbar and Demyx had finished their dance, unknown to them, Xemnas was panicking about the dance he'd been asked to lead.

He knew the full moon was tonight. He knew his berserker wanted to dance. And that was all he knew. He didn't know how to dress or what kind of dance to prepare for or anything that might be _useful, _and Xemnas, who prided himself on knowing what sort of situation he was in, was at a loss, for once in his life. Xemnas did not _like _being at a loss. He _would _find out what his pup wanted and he _would _give him a dance like no other man would _dare _to attempt with him.

Xemnas smirked. Of course, they'd never dare attempt because Saix was _his _and no other's, but even so, he would throw himself entirely into this dance. With determination in his thoughts, he turned back to his closet and opened its' cherry-oak doors, rummaging through his massive collection of formal wear to find the perfect outfit.

After about twenty minutes and two tons of clothes rifled through and tossed on the floor, Xemnas had the perfect outfit. A sleek, silvery-white silk shirt that trailed down to his hips, loose and free on him. He picked up the pair of soft, black suede pants on the floor and put them out without another moment's hesitation, not even stopping to consider the inherent attractiveness of the outfit. Saix had been oblivious to any even vaguely sexual or romantic gesture, and Xemnas didn't think he was going to start becoming astute now.

He looked out his window to see the sky deepening to a dark purple. Midnight was fast approaching. He took some water from the sink and ran it through his hair, brushing it out with haste and noting with pride how it shone in the moonlight. He set the brush down and left the bathroom, bare feet making no sound on the thickly carpeted floor as he headed out to the Altar of Naught.

Xemnas looked up at the sky as he walked; he knew the path well enough that he didn't need to focus on the way there. The sky was beautiful; a deep, rich amethyst spotted lightly with spirals of midnight-black. He smiled, worries quelled by the simple, vast expanse of sky.

Xemnas continued on up the path and towards the Altar. He felt the cool stones under his feet, throbbing with power. He assumed it was just the sheer amount of power that his pet's connection to the moon lent him. He let the sheer beauty of Kingdom Hearts overtake him as he reached the edge of the Altar.

"Master." Saix murmured, startling Xemnas out of his thoughts. He looked up to meet Saix's eyes, holding out his hand. Saix smiled, shaking his head in amusement at something. Xemnas raised an eyebrow.

"Saix, is something funny? Did...did I...come unprepared?" He asked, cursing himself for feeling like a nervous, blushing schoolgirl out on her first date. Saix shook his head.

"No, master. It certainly looks like you took your time preparing this...but the thing is..." Xemnas froze, feeling Saix's hands on him, _on him, _as in _touching him _as he slid them down his hips and began to _oh dear god that was the waist of his pants-_

"You came a bit..._over_-prepared, my master." Saix murmured, breath hot and soothing in his ear as Xemnas realized he could have died right there and died _happy. _

Saix undressed him with care, seeing that Xemnas was still too stunned and blissful to move. The silk shirt was tossed away carelessly, the pants practically torn off his form as he _finally _realized Saix had been naked the entire time.

Xemnas would curse himself for being an idiot later. Right now he simply didn't care. Saix laughed, nipping his neck. "I'll lead, my master. I know this dance well." He told him, placing his hands on his shoulder and waist and bringing him into step.

The two moved like a single current, almost immediately following perfectly into sync with each other. Xemnas gave himself completely to Saix, and for once, let his pup lead the way as Saix brought Kingdom Hearts down upon the both of them, so close that the multitudes of hearts within her caverns made them believe-if only for a sweet, pure instant-that they could possess their own.

They stayed out in the embrace of the night for hours, time losing all meaning for them, even when they stopped dancing and simply held each other under the light of the moon. It was only when the sky finally lightened up slightly that Xemnas and Saix broke free from their spell, and Xemnas realized his pet was asleep in his arms, exhausted from being one with the full moon for the entire night. Xemnas smiled, picking up his pet and situating him in his arms, cradling him close and disappearing into the darkness.

He reappeared in their bedroom within an instant, crossing the room and laying him down upon the bed. Saix mewled softly in his sleep, rolling over to face Xemnas as he climbed in bed and embraced him, bringing him close and closing his eyes, joining Saix in sleep, uncaring of the fact that everyone would be up for breakfast soon.


	12. Nightmares and Dreamscapes

(So that cute, happy, fluffy little chapter I just posted?

Yeah. It was a breather chapter. We're back on the train to Angstville, population: Demyx~

Okay so for starters. Warnings again, because I really don't like the idea of anyone living old scars through this fic. Basically, if _I _can barely write it, and do it only for the sake of the story, I don't want anyone who didn't write it to go through the same stuff. So; emotional manipulation and abuse, slight physical abuse, and general sociopathy towards innocent little kids. Just as a warning.

Also this will continue over a few chapters, so that warning above still stands, yep.

So, don't own Kingdom Hearts, and as I've mentioned a billion times, seriously, as much as I'd like all my shippings to be proven canon, don't let me near the game if you're reading this, Nomura. ._.

Dedicated to my new PSP who is named Buttons and I totally just made that up on the spot. Killer.)

* * *

Demyx had gone back to his room for the night, knowing it would be painted in the morning and having a lighter heart because of it. He set Peggy down with care in the corner, running a gentle hand down her strings before undressing and climbing into bed.

..._Dreams are funny things. We sleep and expect to dream. But we never seem to expect or assume we'll just have a nightmare..._

_It wasn't a set time, really. It had started since he-not Demyx, Demyx was not part of this, not yet-since Myde was born. It was just the span of a lifetime, peppered with events that were somehow worse than the day to day torture. _

_Little brothers look up to their big brothers, you know. And they love them. A lot. _

_...Most of the time. _

_

* * *

_

Myde loved everyone and everyone loved Myde.

This was a fact of life.

He'd been born into a loving family, a big, tight-knit clan filled with all the family a child could ask for. Myde, with his big, sapphire eyes the color of the ocean during high noon and his brilliant, innocent smile, was loved and cherished by the whole family. This only became more of a constant as he grew from a baby into a bright, inquisitive toddler with an aptitude for music. He took to the sitar like water, and was given a hand-made one for his fifth birthday, crafted and decorated by all of his aunts and uncles.

The house that Myde lived in was on the edge of an island, overlooking a vast, sparkling ocean. It towered above the skyline like a castle, a white-washed benevolent giant that ruled over the shore. The porch was rickety and well-worn, the stairs up to the tower where Myde had made his room were worn with time and many passing footsteps, and shells, stones, and other treasures the sea gifted to them dotted the tables, chairs, and walls of the house.

He lived the perfect life. Even when the sky was grey, there were always books to read and pictures to draw, and the waves rushing outside his window were a constant, serving as a beautiful guide and comfort to him if he was ever lonely or sad.

Myde loved his life, and life loved Myde. In fact, the only thing that didn't love Myde...

Was Myde's big brother.

Kayle was older than Myde by ten years, and was his exact opposite in every conceivable way. He never smiled, his eyes were the color of dark, rotten mud, and he loved absolutely no one. In fact, the moment Myde was born, when a new son who could smile and ask to play was given to the family, it was as if he never existed.

Myde tried desperately to make him feel like he had a place in the family...but it seemed like Kayle would never love Myde. He simply rejected every overture Myde made, refusing to go anywhere with him or listen to him play music. Myde never stopped trying, though. It took months, and after awhile, he simply had begun to lose hope.

Then one day, Kayle simply began to agree to his requests. Myde didn't ask why; he was simply overjoyed that his brother was finally trying to take interest in what he did. Myde began to try to make his big brother be a proper big brother, taking him everywhere and trying to integrate him into his life. The trouble was, Myde didn't know how big brothers were supposed to act.

That started it all, really. Myde was sweet and naive; he was no longer a child, but within his heart, he was still as sweet and gentle as he was since he was a toddler. So he didn't question Kayle when he hit him. After all, Kayle was his big brother.

It started small; Myde didn't want to play a song for his brother. He was tired, his hands were beginning to ache, and he could feel himself shaking with hunger. As he voiced his protests, he felt the smarting pain of a hand tear across his face. He looked up at Kayle in amazement, tears filling his eyes. Myde had never been hit. The feeling was completely and utterly foreign to him, and he couldn't help but cry, more confused than hurt.

"Myde, you have to listen to your big brother, right?" His voice was like ice and silk; smooth and cold. "I've done so much for you, Myde. I'm only asking for a song. C'mon, Myde." He sat and waited, not even considering Myde might deny him.

And he didn't. Myde played until his fingers bled, not even realizing his brother had gotten up and walked away until he paused in a note and was greeted with silence.

So Myde loved everyone, and everyone loved Myde. Even his big brother.

...Even if _his_ love hurt.


	13. The Cave

(More emotional triggers, fwiw. Also, sorry about slow updates; my family parties hard for the fourth of July, and I've been really busy. D: I hope this chapter is worth the wait, like always! ^^

Don't own KH, blah blah blah. Also seriously, Peggy=badass. God I love that sitar.

Dedicated to Shironami-Whitewave, who has given me about three awesome ideas in the two months that I've started FtM/OGC. Seriously, you're awesome. :3)

* * *

Myde never questioned Kayle. Not ever. He never even suspected something was wrong, not really. Whenever his brother grabbed his arms and squeezed so hard he left bruises, whenever he put his knee between his legs and pushed _hard, _enough to make him scream, whenever he bit his neck and shoulders, laughing as he dubbed them "love bites," Myde knew it was because his big brother loved him.

Myde couldn't understand what he was doing wrong. He could play every song he knew, but if he skipped a note, it was a worthless song and Myde had gone tone-deaf. If he didn't make dinner for the whole family and simply heated up leftovers for himself, he was being selfish. If he got himself water, he'd forgotten that Kayle needed his drink first, and after all, he'd _asked. _

Myde never did seem to hear him asking, however.

His family still loved him, but Myde had stopped feeling it. He understood it on an intellectual level, but emotionally, Kayle had warped him and he didn't even notice.

The light had started to leave his eyes. He'd stopped smiling, and his laugh was as rare as a blue moon. There were times when the music would flow from him and it would seem like some integral part of him had been put back into place, but those times were rare, getting ever rarer as Kayle demanded more and more from him.

Years went by, and there were times when Myde might've questioned Kayle, but then he'd slip that icy silk voice over him and ask him how much Myde loved him, and Myde could only say, "So much," even when he was pretty sure it was a lie.

There was no final straw for Myde. Kayle didn't give him time to get one. It was simply being woken up, his insistent hands pulling him out of bed and down to the ocean. Myde wanted to ask what was wrong, but his tongue seemed to have swelled up and stuck itself to the roof of his mouth. The sky was a dirty sort of grey; the grey of dirt and muck slopped on top of snow. Myde fought down a shiver from the cold, realizing that his brother held his sitar in his hands. He tried to protest, but they seemed to be going somewhere, and it seemed to be important.

They stopped after a few minutes, standing in front of a large cove. Myde had walked past it many times, but from its' low position on the beach, he knew it might be dangerous to go inside. But it seemed like Kayle wanted to go in. Myde shook his head.

"I don't want to. It's...scary in there, Kayle! Plus it looks like it's gonna rain soon...it'll be dangerous." He protested. Kayle said nothing for a minute, simply holding Peggy, Myde's pride and joy, his best friend, in his hands.

Then he began to squeeze them, putting pressure on Peggy's neck. Myde wailed; he'd put so much of himself into her that Peggy's pain was his pain now, and he could feel the tight press of his fingers as clearly as if Kayle had wrapped his hands around his neck. "Stop!" He begged, reaching out for Peggy. "Stop, please! You're hurting her!" Kayle's eyes narrowed.

"Don't you love me, Myde? Don't you want to go into the cave with me? Even if there is a monster in there, Myde, you have to go in. I need you to." He cajoled him. But Peggy's pain had flicked a switch in Myde; something had broken in him. He realized that Peggy was his last inch; the inch he'd never give to Kayle. His brother realized it, as well; a flicker of Myde's old bright flame had sparked in his eyes. He wrung Peggy's neck, enjoying the snap of wood and the splinters digging into his hands.

"Either you go with me, Myde, or I'll break Peggy. C'mon, Myde, you can hear her screaming, can't you? You can feel her pain, right? Sure you can, sure you can...you were always so fucking _special, _weren't you, Myde?" He sneered, tearing a few strings in two as Myde screamed in agony. Tears were dripping down his cheeks as he reached out for Peggy with tearstained hands.

Kayle yanked her away, but when Myde had touched her-just a small touch, a brushing of his fingers against the bottom of her base-his heart had resonated with the sitar. In that moment, it was enough.

As Kayle shoved him towards the cave, taking his wrist and snapping the delicate bones, he threw him down into the mouth of the cave without a single shred of emotion showing on his face. Myde howled, clinging to the edge of the cave with his good hand, right before where it dropped down into a cavern below. "PEGGY!" He screamed. "ARPEGGIO, I NEED YOU!"

It had been a foolish prayer and Myde knew it; she was just a sitar. But she was his only friend, and he had no one else to call out to.

Then he heard his brother's scream.

Myde peeked over the edge of the mouth of the cavern, eyes widening with shock as he saw Peggy, tattered strings humming with fury as she glowed a soft blue, using the twisted-off handle that Kayle had broken to stab him with the splintered wood as if she was truly alive and filled with righteous anger at seeing her friend in pain. Myde laughed with sheer amazement as Kayle snarled, turning to him.

He yanked Myde up and broke his other wrist without so much as a sigh of regret, throwing both him and Peggy down into the cavern. Myde barely had time to scream before he hit the flooded cavern with a splash, Peggy landing next to him.

Myde whimpered with agony, realizing he couldn't really move his hands. He assumed it was a clean break, but he wasn't a doctor. He realized Peggy had floated towards him and bumped her base comfortingly against his cheek. He smiled, reaching his arms out and leaning on her.

"Thanks, Peggy." He murmured. "I'm so lucky to have a best friend like you." He sighed. "I'm sorry you have to die with me like this...you mean everything to me. You should've gone to a better musician...one who would've taken you to nice concerts and didn't love a mean big brother...Oh, Peggy, I'm sorry..." He began to cry again, barely realizing the storm had hit until he felt raindrops washing away his tears.

He shivered, realizing the rain was bitter and cold, stinging his skin. He tried to drape himself over Peggy and keep her dry, managing a small smile as he heard her strings rumble in what he knew was a sign of joy and love. "Don't worry, Peggy." He whispered. "We'll be together until the end..."

The storm lasted for hours. Myde wasn't sure how long he was in the water; he was only sure he was going numb, and that the water was rising faster and faster. He shuddered, trying not to think about his inevitable drowning. Peggy twanged her last good strings for him, trying to comfort him. He smiled reassuringly at her, leaning against her and trying not to cry.

Then he heard a snuffling, wet, altogether _wrong _sound. Myde froze, refusing to even blink as he heard the sound of tiny feet skittering on top of the water beside him. He felt a long, slimy tongue in his ear, and this somehow made him turn and face whatever the monster was.

He just barely held in a scream as he took it in; it appeared to be made of something horrific, swampy, and altogether alien. It had odd, gangly limbs, and upon its' chest it had a strange heart-shaped symbol. Its' pop-eyed gaze stared him right in the face as its' hideous proboscis reached for him, insectile wings humming like a madman as it held Myde in its' grasp and waited for the tide to come in. Myde was too terrified to move as he watched the creature reach inside his chest and tear out something that was glowing in its' proboscis as it sucked it up gleefully.

Briefly, he realized he was thankfully clinging to Peggy as the monster disappeared to look for its' next victim and the tide overtook him, sweeping his empty shell away to parts unknown.


	14. Fever

(Okay so I kind of sort of have a small teeny tiny itty bitty full-blown fetish for hurt/comfort and nuturing stuff. God. Dammit. I can't help iiiit D: But yeah, poor DemDems. He goes through a lot, man. I am like the world's biggest asshole, ONCE AGAIN, to the characters I love. This might be why they have a tendency to die.

Goddd Vexen I love you so much you are the best god so awesome why doesn't the fandom love you more godddd. Okay I'm good but HE'S SO AWESOME.

Don't know whether I'll ever own KH. Certainly don't now.

All right, listen up; I'm going on vacation with friends until Sunday at two in the afternoon-ish. So I won't be responding to PMs/alive for a few days. Just letting you all know that I still love you. :3

Dedicated to Dream because SHE DREW SENAYAX AND SUNNY JIM FFFF I LOVE YOU)

* * *

It took Demyx a minute to register that someone was screaming.

It was only a pair of gentle hands and the sound of, "You okay, kitten?" in his ear that made him realize he was the one screaming.

Demyx moaned with agony, shaking his head and trying to clear the nightmare out of his head. He looked around his room, frantically searching for Peggy until he realized she was on the bed-right in front of Xigbar. He could only stare in shock. Xigbar noticed, gesturing for him to lay down on the bed. Demyx felt himself sinking against the pillows and realizing they were soaked in sweat and tears.

"Heya, Dem." He whispered. "I brought Peggy with me. She was hummin' up a fuckin' storm in the corner, yanno; it's why I heard you. She's a good girl." He grinned, shaking his head. "Well, really, good _sitar_, but whatever." He realized Demyx's eyes were still wide with terror, and his cheeks were flushed crimson red to the point of almost seeming like they'd blister Xigbar's fingers if he touched Demyx. He hissed. "You have a fever, kiddo. No two ways about it, Dem. You stay here, okay? I'll go get Vexen."

He turned to leave, but Demyx's hysterical screaming stopped him. He turned around to see Demyx trying to get out of bed, tears running down his cheeks. Xigbar paused for a moment, seeing the desperation in his eyes before he shook himself out of his stupor and moved forward. Demyx was openly weeping, shaking his head and grabbing the sleeve of his coat and tugging him back to the bed. Xigbar murmured soothingly as he guided Demyx back to bed and settled him under the covers.

"Christ, kiddo, I'm not going anywhere. I'd be a damn shitty angel if I left you right now, yeah? And I'm not a bad angel, right?" He asked, a grin spreading across his features. Demyx shook his head.

"As...if." He murmured, a soft, strained laugh forcing its' way out of his throat. Xigbar hissed again, brushing his sweat-slicked hair back against his forehead and realizing the aching burn the touch left on his palm. He winced, settling him under the blankets as he shivered. Demyx sighed, eyelids fluttering. "Xigbar...you can go get Vexen...I'll be all right. I promise." Xigbar nodded.

"I'll come back, kitten." He murmured. "I swear to Christ, I'll come back." Demyx nodded, yawning.

"I believe you, Xigbar..." He replied, just before closing his eyes and falling back asleep. Xigbar darted out without another moment of hesitation, heading right for Vexen's room.

Xigbar didn't even hesitate as he banged on the door, hearing a muffled thump and the sounds of Vexen swearing as he wrenched open the door, hair mussed and his angry glare fixed on Xigbar. "Braig, I'm aware you think sleep is an optional function, but I _don't_, at least not _tonight! _What could possibly be so damned wrong that you, as a _scientist, _could not _fix!" _He roared. Xigbar shook his head.

"Demyx woke up screaming." He said, voice blunt and harsh. "He's sick right now, and I need you." Xigbar didn't even wait for a reply before turning off and heading back to Demyx's room, rage and worry in his wake like the aftermath of a hurricane. Vexen groaned, adjusting his pajama top before following after him, muttering darkly to himself.

"Honestly, your infatuation with this boy is going to be the death of us all, Xigbar," he muttered under his breath, "and if my calculations are correct, which, as I suppose I should remind you, they always are, you've simply taken something simple and turned a molehill into a Shiva-blasted mountain, and if you've woken me up for nothing there will be hell to pay!" Vexen pushed his way past Xigbar and opened Demyx's door.

He froze, letting the door swing shut behind him as Xigbar darted in and fought down a scream.

Demyx sat on the bed with Peggy in his hands and blood dripping from his mouth. He looked up at them and smiled, showing a deep gash on his lower lip and tongue. Vexen paled; Xigbar looked like he wanted to throw up.

"Was screaming." Demyx said matter-of-fact, as if blood spilling out of his mouth was a daily occurence. "Had to make it stop. Didn't...want to wake anyone up." Demyx murmured. "That'd...be selfish...of me." He coughed, trying to smile. "I'm fine, Vexen! Please...Xigbar was just overrea-" Vexen's eyes narrowed and his jaw set as he stepped forward and shoved Demyx back into the bed and yanked the covers up over him.

"Get your ass under those covers. That is an _order, _Number IX." He was sputtering now; Xigbar backed away, amused even through his horror and worry. Once Even got worked up, nothing short of a nuclear raid was going to stop him from venting on a patient. Demyx shrunk into himself as Vexen puffed himself up to his full height, looking for all the world like a pissed-off, half-asleep lion yanked out of bed.

"I am simply enraged by the fact that you have decided that your well-being is less important than anyone's sleep. We are an _Organization, _Demyx. We work _together. _If you think that we are going to let you stand by while you are clearly suffering, then you can just _think again." _Vexen snarled. Demyx watched him, eyes wide with amazement and shock. Vexen turned to leave, but not before calling back to Xigbar, "He has a fever of approximately one hundred and three; stay with him until I find the Cura for it." Xigbar nodded, slightly stunned by the sudden shift back to his friend's normal demeanor. He turned to the bed and realized Demyx was watching the spot where Vexen had stood with awe.

"...Like a family?" He whispered. Xigbar raised an eyebrow.

"Come again, Demyx? Couldn't hear you." He replied. Demyx turned to look at him, his eyes wide and hopeful.

"We're...together. Like a family. Is that it?" He asked. Xigbar couldn't help but smirk; a family made up of egomaniacs, prickly lunatics, and overly verbose drama queens?

Yet...he'd wanted to get Demyx away from a normal life. And if the Organization was anything, it was abnormal. Xigbar huffed in amusement. "Yeah. Like a family." He replied. Demyx nodded, expression thoughtful for a minute as he considered something.

"With...nice big brothers. Right? Not...bad ones. Ones that...are like you." Demyx asked, his mind and soul clearly spirited away to some place in his past as he looked up at him with all the innocence of a child. Xigbar's breath caught in his throat. That was it. Just a step closer towards whatever Demyx was hiding from him. He couldn't let this piece of the puzzle slip away from him. He nodded.

"Yes. With good big brothers." He murmured.

Demyx nodded, and Xigbar knew it was the answer he needed to hear as he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Vexen came back about twenty minutes later to find Peggy on the bed and Xigbar still sitting by Demyx's bedside. He sighed, pushing the Cura3 to him. "Braig, don't you worry yourself sick. You being in pain will only worry him worse." He snapped. Xigbar sighed.

"I know you're right. I just...don't want to let him be here alone if he has another nightmare. I promise to go back to sleep, okay? Peggy will wake me up if he panics again." He replied. Vexen didn't nod; he just raised an eyebrow and observed Xigbar.

"That tugging feeling in your chest...the one Xeh feels around Saix...that wouldn't happen to be going on within you, would it, Xigbar?" He asked. Xigbar shrugged.

"Even, you ought to know the answer." He teased. Vexen huffed in amusement, sitting by his side.

"I suppose I do." He murmured. "I'll have to delve into this more...but for now, it's imperative you sleep, even if only for another hour or so. I'll see you in the morning." Vexen stood to leave, but Xigbar grabbed his hand.

"Vexen...thank you." He murmured. "Thank you so much..." Xigbar wasn't sarcastic or biting for once; he looked up at him with geniune thanks and gratefulness in his eyes. Vexen smirked as he left the room, shutting the door behind him.

"I'm a scientist," he replied, "this is what I'm supposed to do."

Xigbar surprised himself by laughing as Vexen left. He looked down at Demyx, still asleep. He winced, not wanting to disturb him, but he'd need the Cura... With a sigh, he shook Demyx's shoulder gently. "Heya, kitten." He murmured. "Gotta get up...Vexen brought your medicine." Demyx stirred, eyes unfocused as he yawned. He sat up and looked at Xigbar, smiling sleepily.

"Mmkay..." He mumbled, opening his mouth obediently and letting Xigbar tip the Cura to his lips. He sighed in relief as it coursed over his lips and tongue, healing the gash he'd bitten into them before he swallowed. Xigbar made sure he'd drunk all of it before pulling the bottle away and pulling the blankets up. Demyx smiled at him gratefully. "Thank you, Xigbar..." He whispered. "I promise to be better to go on a mission tomorrow..." Xigbar narrowed his eyes.

"Like fuck you are. The only mission you have tomorrow is getting some goddamn rest, you hear? We'll survive a day without work, kitten. Besides, Xemnas has been looking pretty worn out...I figure it wouldn't take Saix much convincing to get him to latch onto his beloved master and beg for him to rest." He snorted in amusement as Demyx nodded, laying back against his pillows and closing his eyes.

Xigbar watched him sleep for an hour or so before he managed to calm down and reassure himself of Demyx's safety enough to portal back to his room and grab a blanket and pillow, coming back after a split second and curling up on the floor beside Demyx's bed.


	15. UST

(Lawl, Saix. Seriously, unresolved sexual tension out the wazoo, yo. Also Vexen is so awesome and I am totally aware I mention this every chapter but CHRIST. Anyways, this chapter's just some light fluff and stuff, nothing serious. However, I have a few things I need to address.

One; Luxord and the others will show up soon, it's just that the XigDem arc is taking a lot longer than I thought. So don't worry. Two, I might ret-con some of FtM's canon accidentally, if only because now I'm getting into the groove and working stuff out. If something does happen that contradicts what I've already written, I'll spell it out and so on.

Don't own Kingdom Hearts, which should be kind of obvious. And by kind of I mean totally.

Dedicated to my friend Dub, because a.) I love him and b.) he deserves something happy now.)

* * *

Demyx stirred, glancing outside to see the sky had lightened to a dark shade of lilac. He yawned, rolling over in bed only to see Xigbar sprawled out on his floor. Demyx couldn't help but giggle; for all the Freeshooter's grace and rough, almost predatorial manner of moving, he slept like a child. His hair was mussed and hung in his face, his blankets were twisted and bunched around his limbs, and from the sound of it, he snored.

"Xigbar?" He whispered, surprised by the hoarse, rough sound of his voice. He must still be sick...he sighed in annoyance before he tried again. "Xigbar? I need more medicine..."

That did the trick. He awoke within an instant, turning to face him as he leapt up onto the bed and leaned in, reaching over Demyx to snatch the Cura from the beside table. Demyx couldn't help but be both stunned and amused as Xigbar realized the cap was stuck and simply wrenched the entire neck of the bottle off.

"If Vexen asks, this fell off the table in the middle of the night." He replied, holding the bottle-turned-cup out to Demyx. He giggled, taking it into his hands and sipping the contents.

"Okay, Xigbar." He chirped, smiling at him with an attitude Xigbar firmly and steadfastedly believed was too cheerful for any morning. He sighed, leaning back against Demyx's bed and looking up at him.

"You still look like you've got a fever. Vexen was right; rest, okay? Believe me, if Vexen managed to pull the strings right, I don't even think Xemnas is up yet." He told the younger boy. Demyx pouted, an act Xigbar would sooner shoot himself in the face with Sharpshooter while it was fully loaded than admit was adorable beyond human comprehension.

"B-but Xigbar...what am I gonna do today?" He asked, cuddling up in his blankets and sniffling pitifully. Xigbar's jaw twitched as he tried to hide a smile.

"Well, Dems, since you're too sick to play Peggy or sing...I'll...find something. Would you mind if I stayed with you?" He asked. Demyx shook his head.

"I wouldn't mind at all! In fact, um, if it's not too much, please stay. If you have to go on a mission, I understand, it's just-" Demyx was interrupted by Xigbar pressing a single finger against his lips.

"My only mission today is taking care of you." He replied, silencing any further arguments. "I'll go find something. Can you eat?" Demyx shook his head. Xigbar nodded. "All right. I'll get you a drink and I'll get you something to do. May Ifrit help me, Demyx, if I find you out of bed I am going to do something drastic." He was expecting a small smile, but Demyx out and out laughed, nodding and regarding him with solemn eyes.

"Yessir, Xigbar." He said, saluting him as Xigbar ruffled his hair and he squeaked with indignation. As Xigbar left the room, he could feel that tugging once more...stronger this time. More _real_...almost as if it was trying to mimic a heart.

* * *

As dawn had just barely inched its' way across the horizon, Vexen had cornered Saix right where he wanted him. The Diviner happened to have woken up early and come down to the kitchen; Vexen, after the previous night's catastrophe, had never really gone back to sleep. Saix stifled a yawn as he greeted him. "Morning, Vexen." He murmured. "Are you all right? I was not expecting anyone awake as early as I am." Vexen shook his head.

"I'm quite all right, Saix. However, as I regret to inform you, I must be the bearer of bad news." He paused for dramatic effect; compared to Xaldin and Xemnas, Vexen got very little time in the spotlight, but when he played the role of the drama queen, he played it for all it was worth. Saix watched him, eyes wide with worry.

"It is about Xemnas, as I assume you've already deduced. The truth of the matter is, he has not been getting any sleep at all, and for about a fortnight before you arrived..." Vexen squelched a grin, knowing that if Xemnas found out what he was doing, he was screwed beyond all reasonable belief, "he had forsaken sleep to aid Zexion, Lexaeus, and I in our research." He sighed, rolling his eyes in exaggerated contemptous amusement. "You see, despite our bravest and most sincere efforts to convince him his sleep was of utmost importance, he demanded of himself all the time he could give for the good of the mission. You understand that, don't you, Saix?"

Saix's eye was twitching. Vexen smirked, knowing he'd won. However, as a small, personal, delightful _schadenfreude_, he purred, "If you catch him now, you might be able to stop him before he locks himself in the lab..."

Vexen was suddenly left staring at a door wrenched clean off of its' hinges and a lonely, abandoned cup of coffee sitting on the table. He took the cup and lifted it to his lips, attempting with a reasonable degree of sense to silence the wickedly gleeful laugh that had bubbled up into his mouth.

* * *

Xemnas sighed with delighted, lazy contentment. The bed was warm, the blankets had caught just enough heat as to be perfect for the room's temperature, the sheets were soft and silky against his skin, and his pillow was thick and comforting. Without even opening his eyes, he reached out a hand to stroke Saix's hair, (a newfound morning ritual he found he cherished more than anything else he did in the mornings, albeit one he could never tell his pet about), but his hand now stumbled against air and empty space.

He opened his eyes and rolled over, realizing Saix wasn't in his bed. His eyes grew wide with shock as he frantically patted the blankets, assuming with the outright stupidity following his usual early morning lethargy that Saix was simply hiding. Once his senses and intelligence returned to him, he realized that Saix was simply gone. He couldn't help but feel panic, (false panic, Xemnas, just a false flash of remembered emotions, it certainly did _not _feel like you were going to have a panic attack in your bed), rising in his chest.

Then, as if to terrorize his poor, startled mind further, Saix slammed his claymore through the door and stormed through the massive hole created by the single swing of his sword. Xemnas didn't even have the mental capacity that early in the morning to realize that his companion and devoted partner had just ripped a hole through his door. All he knew was that Saix was safe.

"Oh thank the gods," he whispered. "Saix, my pup, are you hurt?" His pet simply stared at him, eyes hardened to golden-shaded steel. Xemnas winced. All right, so now he had to play the role of the morning person. "I suppose I must make my rounds of the castle at any rate; you may rest, if you are still tired."

It was as if he'd told Saix he was going to stomp on kittens. His companion outright roared, throwing him back on the bed with disturbing ease. Xemnas stared up at him in shock as Saix hissed.

"Two weeks, my master." He snarled. "Two weeks of sleepless nights. Is _that _for the good of the mission, my master? Is you _pushing yourself beyond your limits into exhaustion _for _anyone's_ good? No! No you are _not _making any rounds of this castle! You will stay in bed and I, as your devoted and everlastingly loyal companion and second-in-command, will be by your side, as I always am and always will be until my body and soul run dry! Now _GET IN BED!" _

Xemnas honestly had no clue what in god's name Saix meant by "two weeks of sleepless nights;" if anything, he'd been going to bed early. But one look at Saix's face told him arguing would be futile and most likely resulting in a few bites and scratches. (All of which Saix would apologize for, but Xemnas didn't want to put him in that position, all the same.)

So with a small sigh of defeat, he sunk back into the mattress, feeling Saix join him with a small growl of possessive fury before he was satisfied with Xemnas' spot on the bed. With a small whuff of delight, he pulled the blankets up over the both of them, tugged Xemnas gently but insistently into the proper sleeping position before he finally closed his eyes and fell back asleep.

As Xemnas stared up at Kingdom Hearts, his mind finally cleared enough for a moment for him to realize that he'd just been bossed around and fussed over by _Saix. _However, just as his mind was becoming sharp enough to find protests, he fell back asleep with Saix now curled protectively over him.


	16. The Return of the Rabbit

(I wish my library had books like this. Also yeah, barf fluff, rainbows, puppies, butterflies, etc. You know the drill. Also, calculating the amount of stuff I have written, the XigDem arc will be like another six chapters or so, but never fear; the chapters will be longer, so hopefully it'll take less time to get to the next arc. What can I say, they're fun to write.

Demyx is too cute for his own good. That is all.

Don't own KH, run out of witty things to say about it. Christ, I've been saying the same disclaimer for like sixty-odd chapters for this and FtM both.

Dedicated to whatever and whoever needs a dedication.)

* * *

Xigbar perused the library with Demyx's glass of orange juice in his hand, stroking the soft, velvety spines of the worn-out books that filled the shelves. He sighed. "_Quantum Mechanics for Pretentious Scientists, The Big Book of Everything You Need to Know About Being a Self-Righteous Smartass, Amusing Ways to Crush Your Enemies into Dirt and Paste, 1001 Monologues for the Best of Hams..._" He winced. Demyx wouldn't be able to understand any of this...and frankly, Xigbar liked his kitten when he wasn't a pretentious scientist, a self-righteous smartass, or a megalomaniac ham who crushed his enemies into dirt and paste.

"Looking for something, Xigbar?" Zexion leaned over his shoulder, and it took Xigbar pretty much all of his self-restraint not to leap about five feet into the air. He rolled a single golden eye back at Zexion and quirked an eyebrow.

"Have I ever mentioned how much I really hate you sneaking up on me?" He asked. Zexion grinned; it was another one of his Cheshire grins that was far too feline and predatorial for Xigbar's liking.

"Oh, about a hundred times, but who has the energy to keep count?" He tapped the spines of the books Xigbar had been perusing. "I meant it, Xigbar. What are you looking for?" He asked, obviously waiting for an answer. Xigbar knew he'd been cornered. He leaned against the shelf and buried his hand in his hair.

"Something for Demyx." He muttered, knowing full well that Zexion was going to rub it in his face until it was past his skin and into his skull. Sure enough, Zexion gave him a wicked grin, cooing mockingly at him.

"Aww, Xigbar, I honestly wouldn't think you'd have it in you! That's so saccharine-sweet and kind of you that I almost just barfed rainbows." He said, keeping his facial expression controlled and his voice deadpan. Xigbar rolled his eyes.

"Look, just help me find a book for him to read. He's got a fever, he needs rest, and for all I know he's got one hell of a case of PTSD." He snapped. Zexion paused mid-smirk and shot him a glare.

"Don't think I didn't notice you trying to sneak in that little malapropism in there, Braig." He replied, voice icy as he faced Xigbar, trying his best to look stern and threatening with about a foot's difference between the two of them. "Post traumatic stress disorder is serious, and if he's mentally unstable, that could spell disaster and _you know it." _Xigbar shook his head.

"Look, 'Zo, he'll be fine. He's just really sick right now and I want to make him happy. Let's take this one step at a time, okay?" He told the younger Apprentice, who simply shrugged.

"All right, Xigbar, but when everything goes to hell, don't think I won't say "I told you so.'" He replied. Xigbar couldn't help but smirk.

"I would expect nothing less. Now, can you help me find one of the books you had from when you were a kid? I don't think Demyx would enjoy a copy of _Seven Simple Steps to Becoming an All-Consuming God of Nothingness." _He said, listening to Zexion's snort of amused disgust as he followed behind him to the smaller shelves.

* * *

Demyx felt Peggy by his side in bed as he stirred, hearing the door open. Two sets of footsteps. Not one, two. Not just Xigbar. He was coming back. He was coming back and there were_ two _sets of footsteps not _one-_

"Demyx?" Xigbar's voice resounded through his mind as Peggy hummed an accompaniment, startling Demyx out of his spiral. He looked up to see Xigbar and Zexion standing in the doorway. Zexion. Familiar. Someone his age, someone safe. He relaxed, looking at the two of them. As Xigbar met his eyes, he couldn't help but think about how much Demyx looked like a hunted animal as he'd watched them walk in. He stepped forward anyway, holding out the book Zexion had given him. "Heya, kitten. I got you a book. We're just gonna sit and chill and read, alright? You feeling any better?" He managed to stay calm as Demyx nodded. Then he looked up at Zexion, and both of them were out and out stunned by the sheer hatred in his eyes.

"You didn't take him away, did you?" He asked, voice harsh and icy. Zexion looked at Xigbar for an instant; Xigbar mouthed "_abandoned," _and Zexion immediately understood.

"No, Demyx. I didn't take him away. He's my friend and colleague...but he is your angel." He replied, managing a smirk as Xigbar's death glare refocused and aimed itself at him. Demyx was satisfied, hugging him tightly.

"Aww, thank you, Zex!" He said cheerfully, doing a complete one-eighty on personality. He was back to his normal, smiling self as he settled back in bed. It unnerved the both of them, but Zexion was made of stronger spine than that. He pressed the book into Demyx's lap.

"Xigbar brought this to you with my help." He said. "If there's something wrong with it, let him know, all right?" He turned to Xigbar now. "If his fever hasn't broken by dinner, get Vexen. I'll be down in the lab; don't worry about calling for me. If it's important, I'll help." Zexion stretched, shook out his hair, snapped his fingers, and disappeared into a swirl of darkness.

Demyx laid back in bed and closed his eyes. "Xigbar, I'm really cold." He whispered. Xigbar winced.

"Do you want a blanket, Dem? I can go back to my room." He replied, stroking a few strands of sweat-soaked hair away from his face. Demyx shook his head.

"No." He whispered. "Cold _here. _It hurts, Xiggy..." He pressed his hand against his chest, digging in his fingers against where his heart would be. "It hurts..." Demyx looked up at him with agony in his eyes. Xigbar paused, unsure of what to tell him. Demyx leaned in close, shuddering and shaking with each shallow breath. "Please...Xigbar, I need you to warm me up...I'm r-really cold...please come closer." Xigbar froze.

Demyx was inviting him into his bed. Xigbar swallowed. Sure, he'd been invited into a few other beds during his lifetime; he was damn fine as an Apprentice, and it helped he swung both ways. But not like this. Oh, never like this. What he did now could either make or break Demyx. He didn't think he was qualified to play God with someone's life again, but right now, he had no choice. So he made his move.

He nodded, unzipping his coat so he could move freely across the bed and lay down next to him. He didn't initiate contact, nor did he try to tempt Demyx. Although, he noted wryly, he probably could have done better on that playing field and at least put a shirt on.

Demyx came closer, ever-so-hesitantly, so nervous and shy in his movements that it took all of Xigbar's self control not to take him, yank him across the bed, bury his hands in his hair and kiss him until it hurt. The tiny flutter of his hands across the blankets were driving him absolutely mad, solely because of the urge that was setting him on fire to take Demyx and show him passion; show him that just because something was wild didn't mean it was dangerous.

He didn't expect Demyx to practically slam himself into Xigbar's arms and against his chest, hugging him so tightly that it sated his need for a rougher form of intimacy within an instant. He buried his head into Xigbar's neck and dug his nails into his back. Xigbar bit back a moan; the damn kid didn't even know how good he felt against him right now, how very achingly badly he was driving him insane.

There was silence for a minute as Xigbar tried to control his breathing. After a moment, Demyx spoke, startling him out of his thoughts. "Xiggy?" He whispered. "Can we share the blanket?"

Xigbar almost laughed at the sheer absurdity of his question. Demyx had just thrown himself into his arms like a man possessed, and now he was asking him oh-so-shyly and oh-so-politely if they could share the blanket. He nodded, unable to trust himself to speak. He reached out for the blanket and wrapped it around himself, holding the ends out to Demyx so he could bury himself under the covers and against his chest.

Xigbar leaned back against the pillows and did his best to get comfortable as Demyx sighed with joy. "Warm now." He mumbled, clearly on the verge of sleep once more. "Thank you, Xigbar..." Punctuating his last words with a small, kitten-like yawn, he closed his eyes and fell asleep. Xigbar watched him sleep for a few minutes before he realized that, god help them, if anyone walked in, this situation was going to get a hell of a lot more awkward.

By dinnertime, Demyx was still asleep, nestled against Xigbar's chest. Xigbar stirred, realizing that the sky had darkened outside their window. He brushed a gentle hand across Demyx's forehead and realized that his fever had in fact gone down. He wasn't as adept as gauging human body temperature as Vexen, who had his natural chill to use as an advantage, but he would say he was around one hundred. Three degrees was enough. He'd bring him back something from dinner, another drink, and another Cura. Hopefully by morning Demyx would feel better...

Xigbar walked down the hallway, realizing the kitchen was slightly quieter than normal. He smirked, knowing who was most likely missing from the dinner table.

Sure enough, as he opened the door and sauntered in, Xemnas and Saix were missing. Axel didn't look thrilled about the whole situation, but he had been told about Demyx's illness and accepted it was necessary to keep Xemnas in bed, even if they were using Saix as bait. Vexen had his books scattered across the table, pushing a few between Lexaeus and Zexion so they could compare notes scribbled in the margins like schoolkids writing notes in class. Xigbar grabbed the bowl Xaldin passed him and carelessly tossed salad in it, stabbing it with a fork before ignoring it in favor of Demyx.

"His fever's around one hundred now, so he's not on the brink of death anymore. If there's anything else you can do for him, please do it, Even. Xeh's gonna be up tomorrow and he's gonna have to go on a mission." Xigbar pleaded. Vexen nodded, tapping his spidery fingers across the spine of his book, deep in thought.

"Why don't you go on the mission with him, Braig? It would make sense for an elder member to accompany a newer, inexperienced member on a mission; plus, you can keep an eye on him." Vexen sighed. "I've been looking over a few things on this odd...tugging sensation you seem to be feeling; a placebo in place of a heart, if you will. I'm interested to see how it carries out in the field; make some notes on your mission, Xigbar, am I understood?" He asked. Xigbar nodded. Vexen nodded, visibly relieved.

"All right. Thank you, Xigbar. Give Demyx another Cura3 when you return, and another if he wakes up at night; if not, give him one before the mission tomorrow. Plus, if he's awake when dinner's over, green tea would be best...there's a few bottles in the cabinet marked with a purple sticker; those are for healing purposes. The one with the tan powder is for fever, and the small purple granules are for any other unpleasant symptoms such as headaches or soreness." Vexen smirked, pointing towards the tiny amber globe-shaped jar perched gaily on the shelf. "Oh, and the honey, of course. The spoonful of sugar is most important in this little witch's brew." He winced, catching a vicious death glare from Zexion over his massive lexicon. "I believe Ienzo learned that the hard way."

Xigbar noted the sudden shriek of pain and the familiar thud of a book being slammed on top of a hand with a resigned sort of amusement as he got up to brew Demyx his tea.

* * *

Demyx yawned, shivering as he curled up under the blanket. It still smelled like Xigbar, and even though he was gone, it was enough to soothe him. He inhaled the spiced, almost smoky scent as he moaned in pain. He tried not to focus on his burning skin and waited for Xigbar to return.

He didn't have to wait long; after a few minutes, he could hear the familiar sound of Xigbar's boots thudding against the hallway floor. He brightened up immediately, poking his head out of the blankets to watch as the door opened and Xigbar burst into the room, balancing a tea tray on one hand and a stack of books on the other. He smiled, laying back down. "Hi, Xigbar!" He piped up, watching Xigbar turn to him as he set down the tea tray and put the books on the nightstand in one fluid motion.

"Heya, Dem." He replied, holding out the teacup and saucer. "Vexen gave me this; I already put the Cura3 in, so try to drink it all, okay? I put like half the jar of honey in, too...the stuff he put in it is totally fucking vile, believe me." He shuddered. "I used to think he'd come up with that mixture to spite us when we got sick." Demyx giggled, taking the tea and sipping it at a steady pace as Xigbar stretched out on the bed.

"Dem, you're gonna have to go on a mission tomorrow." Xigbar blurted out. He immediately kicked himself for not even trying to go for the subtlety angle, but it was too late now. Demyx trembled, clutching his teacup for support as Peggy's strings began to rumble. Xigbar backpedaled furiously, ruffling his hair and putting on a smile. "Heya, kitten, no tears, kay? Like I'd fuckin' let you go by yourself!" He snorted. "Tch, as if! Don't worry, I'll be going with you. I won't let Xemnas do it any other way. Promise?" He murmured. Demyx nodded, wiping away a few stray tears.

"Yup! I b-believe you..." He shivered, drinking the last of the tea before setting it aside and picking up one of the books. "Xigbar? Can you read this to me?" He murmured, laying back against a nest of pillows and yawning. Xigbar knew there was no way he could deny the utter innocent cuteness of a sleepy Demyx yawning and asking for a goddamn _bedtime story, _so he bit the bullet and opened the book.

"Right, kitten." He murmured, stroking Demyx's hair as he read the title. "All right, this one's called _The Velveteen Rabbit..._old book of Zexion's. Just let me know if you want me to stop, all right?" He said, looking down at Demyx and watching his eyelids slowly settling down over his eyes.

"Mmyep..." He whispered, grabbing Xigbar's hand and squeezing it gently. As Demyx held his hand, Xigbar finished the entire story, letting himself forget that Xemnas would be sending them out on a mission the next morning, forgetting about what Vexen's research might lead to, and forgetting about the sadness that plagued Demyx like a disease. All he focused on was the feel of Demyx's delicate, warm hand in his and the sound of the words as he read the story he knew as well as his own guns.

It took him about an hour after he'd finished to realize that Demyx was asleep. As he looked down at the sleeping musician, he realized that Demyx still hadn't let go of his hand.

With an exhausted smile, Xigbar laid down beside him, tugging the blankets up past his shoulders and stroking his hair away from his forehead before closing his eyes and joining Demyx in sleep, still holding his hand in the darkness.


	17. Corpse Lights

(Oh the endlessness. Lawl, XigDem arc=THIS IS THE ARC THAT NEVERRR ENDSSSS but I've already started writing Xaldin's arc, and ohmfg he's SUCH A WOOBIE okay yeah do not ask me WHY I can totally oh so totes see him that way but ffff so cute and agh. This may not be helped by my total adoration of him and his muscles and his sideburns and his braids and his lances, and I'm just going to stop there because if I don't I'll sit here all day and deliver a fine, fine rant about how the fandom doesn't properly appreciate the less "bishie" characters in the Org, and I'm pretty sure most people here would strangle me if I started up on it again.

So, um, yeah. Missions again. So you're good!~ I don't think we'll actually take TOO long with the mission, probably three chapters, and I'll try to remember to publish every day, lawl. Sorry guys. Anyways, don't own Kingdom Hearts, and this is random but right now I am listening to Christopher Lee singing and I totally just got the best idea for a drabble ever. So that is so going in here at some point.

Dedicated to my apparent insomnia. Please let me sleep. D: Also totally what spurred this rant on, I talk a lot when I'm like hyper-exhausted.)

* * *

"Saix?" The muffled question awoke the diviner from his rest as he turned over in his sleep to see his master, propped up on his elbows and raising an eyebrow at him. He yawned, displaying delicately pointed canines as he sighed in content half-awake delight.

"Mm?" He murmured, unable to form a coherent thought. Xemnas groaned, looking for all the world like a petulant child. Saix bit back a small laugh at the expression on his master's face as he huffed.

"Can I get out of bed now?" He muttered, halfheartedly glaring at him as Saix fought down another bark of laughter. He tugged a loose strand of Xemnas' hair, tucking it behind his ear, unable to keep back a wicked grin.

"Yes, my master. I'm satisfied with the amount of rest you've gotten." He teased. Xemnas sighed dramatically and sat up in bed, sliding off and landing on the balls of his feet, padding over to his closet and dressing quickly. Saix followed suit, still zipping up his coat as he followed Xemnas out the door.

They walked down the stairs in peaceful unison, boots clicking against the floors in time with each others' steps. Saix felt so at peace that for a moment, all thoughts of duty and master and pet dynamics flew out of his head. He leaned his head against Xemnas' shoulder, still slightly sleepy from having been awoken so abruptly. He didn't realize that the pause wasn't just so he could lay his head steady; Xemnas was staring at him in a mixture of bemusement, amazement, and complete awkward horror as he realized Saix really, really, _really _just had to be as romantically dense as a young child, because _no one_ would look at that and _not call it flirting. _

Xemnas bit back a groan as he stroked Saix's hair. Of all the people...Kingdom Hearts had sent him the perfect avatar of her own breathtaking resplendence, but she had, in some odd, divine bit of humor, forgot to give him any social graces or understanding of those same social mores. Wonderful.

Saix was mewling happily under the caress of his fingers though, so there was always that small blessing. Xemnas managed a smirk as he looked down at his pet, trembling and vulnerable in his hands. If Saix did not understand his own flirtations...then neither did he see Xemnas' returns in kind. It was a good balance; one he'd have to fix at some point and weigh the odds in his favor, but for now, being able to touch him without restraint or reprecussion was enough.

With a single caress of his finger down the delicate pointed swoop of his diviner's ear, Xemnas beckoned him downstairs to breakfast, Saix following loyally behind without a split second's debate.

* * *

Xigbar awoke first, dressing quickly and darting out the door in the hopes of catching Xemnas before Demyx woke up. Sure enough, thankfully, on his way downstairs, Xemnas had Saix by his side and was heading for the kitchen.

Xigbar skidded to a stop in front of him, barely even giving Xemnas time to register his presence before he blurted out, "Okay, so Demyx has been sick for the past two days, and I'm totally aware he has to go on a mission but I have to go with him, not only to keep him safe because anything that tries to hurt him will be pumped full of arrows before they can goddamn _bat a fucking eyelash,_ but also because Even needs to study some crap about placebo hearts or something, I've been far more concerned with how Demyx is doing than I have been interested in fucking _science_, I mean, I've spent like fifteen years of my life being a fucking _scientist_, I think I've learned enough to give myself a break for two days, I mean _really_-" Xemnas held up a hand, cutting Xigbar off mid-spiel.

"First...good morning, Braig. It's a pleasure to see you as well. Second...I suppose once I've finished processing that, I will grant your request, but for god's sake, I just woke up. Give me five minutes to relearn how to function properly and then I will get back to you." He snapped, storming off to the kitchen. Both Saix and Xigbar rolled their eyes, following behind him with twin sighs of amusement.

Axel shot Xemnas a vicious death glare as he walked in, taking Saix and pulling him down to sit beside him as he glared at Xemnas, clearly challenging him to do something about it. Xemnas simply glared back, sitting next to Saix and keeping him trapped between the both of them. Saix didn't seem to notice the furious rivalry going on between the two men who had placed themselves simultaneously as the most important people in Saix's life, and simply reached out for the cereal. Xigbar rolled his eyes, accepting the cup of coffee from Lexaeus before situating himself by Vexen and snatching the encyclopedia from him, ignoring his indignant squawk.

"Found anything new, Vexen?" He asked, skimming the notes the other academic had written in the margins with his trademark loopy, scribbly handwriting taking up half of the empty page. Vexen huffed.

"Well, I suppose you could have simply asked, rather than taking my books from me like the schoolyard miscreant, Braig, honestly." He muttered darkly. Xigbar rolled his eyes and shot him a pointed glare. Vexen huffed. "In any case, no, I have not. However, I'm hoping this next mission will yield some results within my new field of study, so try not to screw anything up or murder any more icons of childlike wonder and innocence within any world you go to, all right? You're leaving a wake of cuddly animal corpses in your wake, and it's starting to become more than slightly disconcerting." He replied. Xigbar rolled his eyes again, pushing the book back towards him.

"I really don't know how many times I'm gonna have to say they were fuckin' asking for it." He muttered. Vexen raised an eyebrow.

"So that vixen with her cub was just being too cute to survive?" He replied dryly. Xigbar huffed.

"Well_, she _wasn't, but she was a bigger target, so I figured, what the hell, go for something easy today." He shot back, evidently not noticing the horrified stares from the rest of the table. Vexen just rolled his eyes.

Xemnas sighed, interrupting the conversation. "Be that as it may, Braig, you can indeed go on a mission with Demyx. The interaction of this placebo substance between two Nobodies requires further study, and it would be a good way to show Demyx the ropes. I think...well, there's a world we haven't explored almost at all that I believe bears more reconnissance. It's called Port Royal, and if any of the intelligence our Dusks have gathered on it is correct, it is an oceanic world, and considering Demyx's attributes appear to be water-themed, at least it'll give him a chance to try out his power. Just go gather information and try to blend in, Xigbar, both of you. Keep yourselves both safe, understand?" He said, watching Xigbar stand and summon Sharpshooter, tapping it against Xemnas' collarbone with a massive wicked grin, enjoying the small twitch that obscured his eye for a moment.

"Oh, always. Lates, babes." He called back, disappearing into the darkness.

There was silence in the kitchen for awhile.

Zexion flipped another page in his book and raised his eyebrow in thought. "Looks like _someone_ enjoys making a dramatic exit. Someone should look into that; I've a feeling it's a disease permeating us all as of late." He quipped, flipping to the next chapter as he pressed his other hand against his lips to hide a smirk. Vexen rolled his eyes.

"Don't talk to me, I've doctored enough people to make up for vivisecting those bunnies, don't you think?" He muttered. Zexion snorted derisively.

* * *

Demyx yawned, looking around to see his room empty. Panic shot through his entire body for a moment as his throat convulsed; Peggy, seeing his distress, began to frantically hum, hoping it would settle his nerves.

Xigbar pushed open the door, seeing Demyx on the bed trembling like a cornered animal. He sighed, crossing the room in an instant to kneel on the bed beside him. "Hey, Dem." He murmured. "No tears. We're going to get going on a mission, okay?" Demyx looked up at him, throat convulsing again as he coughed.

"You're not leaving me? We're going together?" He begged. Xigbar nodded, ruffling his hair gently. Demyx got up without another word, undressing and putting his coat on. Xigbar looked away, letting Demyx have his privacy as much as he wanted to hold him in his arms and undress him himself...

Xigbar broke himself off that train of thought, shaking his head and dropping his gaze to check if Sharpshooter was still all right.

It took him a minute to realize that Demyx was nuzzled against him, looking up into his eye. Xigbar inhaled sharply as Demyx giggled. "Ready to go, Xiggy!" He said, tugging him out of the room and down the hall. Xigbar let himself be dragged along for two reasons, neither of which he wanted to admit to himself; first, Demyx just looked too sweet to deny, and secondly...Xigbar just didn't want Demyx to let go of his hand.

The two came out into the Hall of Empty Melodies a few minutes later, Demyx staring up at Kingdom Hearts in awe. Xigbar sighed, rifling through his pockets and pulling out a Cure3. "I have one of these for later if you need it, Dem, all right?" He asked. Demyx nodded, still focusing his attention on the moon. He gave it a shy wave before turning back to Xigbar and giving him a quick smile to show he'd heard. Xigbar suppressed a grin, (rather well, he thought), before snapping his fingers and summoning a Corridor of Darkness.

Demyx bolted in first, Xigbar following behind him into the odd, vast swirling mix of mist and vague, oddly-hued colors that made up the corridors. "Kitten, don't stray from the path, alright? I need you to stick close to me; you've never done this before." He said, feeling Demyx fall in behind him as Xigbar crept through the darkness, taking care not to disturb any Heartless or Dusks.

Xigbar was always disturbed by the complete silence of the Corridors. Not even the normal chittering of the Heartless or the odd, squalling noises of the Dusks could be heard. It was like walking through a morgue lit with corpse-lights; light the color of skin gone to seed, rotting in graves dug long ago. He shuddered, disgusted by his own gruesome metaphor as he turned around to make sure Demyx was still there.

For a second, the mist had obscured him, and Xigbar couldn't see him. In that moment, chaos happened all at once. He felt that tugging, but now that tugging had turned into a horrific yanking sensation that made him feel like something was trying to pull his chest out of his body, dragging organs and muscle along with it. He tried to scream with pain, but he realized as he opened his mouth that the yanking sensation had knocked the air out of him.

As he tried to gather the strength to shout Demyx's name and try to find out where he was, he realized that it was like his entire body was throbbing and pulsing, just like-like a heartbeat, a goddamned _heartbeat, _and he finally found the strength to scream, "DEMYX!" at the top of his lungs.

The horrible, horrible silence crashed down onto him and tore its' way through his ears, raging through him and making him realize that his body was still throbbing as the yanking pain pulsed through his chest.

A small, timid voice broke through the silence, seeming to part the mist around it as it called his name.

"Xigbar?" Demyx called, parting the mist with a blast of water from Peggy. "Xiggy, are you okay?" He froze, realizing that Xigbar was on his hands and knees, heaving and trying to gasp for air like a frantic, dying rabbit. It took him a moment of horrified processing for his limbs to work again as he darted to Xigbar's side, shaking him and trying to get him to look up into his eyes. Demyx had started to feel the tugging and the harsh pulling within his own chest, the yanking feeling wrenching its' way out of his chest as he clung to Xigbar, digging his nails into his scarred skin and not even realizing he was screaming Xigbar's name until he felt Xigbar pulling him close and burying his hands into the folds of his cloak.

"I'm here, Demyx," he gasped, voice still harsh and raspy, "I'm right here."

Demyx pulled him up to stand, supporting him on his shoulder as Xigbar tried to get his breathing back under control. He couldn't help but be terrified of the feeling that had wracked him when he'd seen Xigbar that way. It had been so harsh and rough...it wasn't like emotion. No, emotion was strong, but that feeling had been even stronger...bordering on insanity. Demyx shuddered. Was he going crazy?

With a dry smirk, he realized he most likely already had. He didn't have time to reflect on it, as Xigbar had pulled him into a tight embrace from the second he got the strength to do so.

Demyx realized as he inhaled the scent of well-worn leather and pure, proper Xigbar, that he really just didn't care, so long as he could be crazy with Xigbar right beside him.

With that thought, he burst out laughing, the sudden sound ringing out pure and true in the dead corpse-silence. Xigbar closed his eyes, listening to the sweet sound for a moment before joining in, banishing the silence with the last weapon they had left.


	18. Tomorrow Belongs to Me

(Dear sweet mother of Shiva, this was all written on my parents' computer, like, right now. It took me like an hour and a half to write this, and I KNOW it's just like a crappy little interlude, but damn it, well…

The reason it was wrote on my parents' computer?

Steve's internet is broken.

(Steve is my computer, for those not in the know. It's complicated.)

So, since no matter how much I love Steve, he's a piece of crap, (really, I should've seen this coming), I'm going to try to find a flash drive to download all of OGC and FtM onto so I can hopefully try to keep a semi-regular updating schedule…although I don't know how much time that'll take.

This was spawned by my hatred of those "author's notes" chapters that only really serve as an 'lol jk this fic will never be updated bai' chapter. They drive me beyond bonkers. So I wrote a three thousand word interlude filler chapter. Out of…spite? Possibly? Yeah, let's go with that.

So, more XemSai fluff than you can shake a yaoi paddle at, and, uh...stuff. Seriously, I cannot stop waxing poetic about Vexen OR Even. DAMN YOU WHY ARE YOU THE GREATEST THING IN ANY WORK OF FICTION EVER except for maybe Death of the Endless but let's not trail off into rambling no matter how tired I am right now.

Also, random; there's a reference to one of my favorite things of all time in here, right in the beginning; it's from a comic by Neil Gaiman. (Hint~) If you get it, I love you. :3

There's one upside to this; I am seriously, (knock on wood), doing nothing but writing. So once this all gets sorted out, daily updates for, like, months. Or at least a long fucking while.

I am so damn sorry, y'all. I didn't mean for this to happen, and it's kind of a living hell for me, (OH GOD I CAN'T GO ON TVTROPES IT'S KILLING ME WHY GOD) and, erm…looking up slashfic on my parents' computer? Haha no. I'm going insane and it's only been two days.

So yeah, I have a problem. Shut up, an internet addiction is completely healthy. Ish. Healthy-ish.

Anyways, please enjoy this filler chapter, considering I wrote it at, like, one in the morning. Funnily enough, I'm really quite proud of it; it has almost no dialogue until the end, but I managed not to screw up on description, which I've always sort of considered my weak point. Heh.

Don't own Kingdom Hearts. You know what else I don't own? A WORKING FUCKING INTERNET CONNECTION. STEVE. GET OFF YOUR FAT, LAZY ASS, AND FUCKING HOP TO FIXING IT, OR WE ARE READING **_THAT STORY _**THE SECOND I GET MY NET BACK.

(He probably could, he's a cosmic horror, aside from being stuck in the crappy avatar of a Dell laptop. I told you it was complicated.)

Dedicated to the gods of the internet. May they take mercy on my pitiful human soul and grant me a connection. Seriously, begging you great ones here. Help me.)

* * *

It was right after breakfast that Xemnas remembered what he had wanted to do the day before; make the rounds of the castle. There was still so much of it they had not explored, and he was eager to excavate the hidden depths of their sanctuary within the void.

"Saix." He called, watching his pet immediately look up from his conversation with Axel and regard him with attentive, adoring eyes, "I still must make my rounds of the castle. Stay with Axel for the day; I will be all right by myself." He said.

Saix nodded, giving him a small smile before Axel yanked him out of his chair and down the hall, giving Xemnas a murderous glare before disappearing into the darkness. Xemnas rolled his eyes, letting the other have his delusions that he could keep his Saix away from him.

He started up the marble steps that led up from the entrance to the castle. The first floor had mostly been excavated; it was nothing special, just a few rooms that led down into the catacombs beside the lab, and a room that stayed completely empty, no matter what they did.

Xemnas had heard of a goddess—well, perhaps goddess was not the right word, a construct, a representation of an overarching force—whose cult had claimed empty rooms as her sacred spaces. He had also heard in that same tale that the entire cult had committed suicide within six months.

He snorted with contempt. Well, they had been living there for some time now, and there had been no suicides, so perhaps they were just tales.

Yet no matter what they filled it with, that room would be empty as soon as they shut the door and opened it again to check. Xemnas shook his head. Sacred space or not, it emanated an eerie sort of presence, and so they let it be.

He went down the hall and up the second set of stairs. It only took a minute; to be frank, he could have just teleported, but he liked the feeling of walking up the stairs. It was good, familiar, routine. He didn't have to face the fact that he used the darkness to move around, or the fact that the only reason he could do that was because of his newfound tenure as a Nobody. It made him feel real and whole again.

The second floor was mostly unexplored; a floor they had ignored in an attempt to get up to the third floor, which was where their rooms were; it was the largest floor and had the most space, so everyone except Vexen, (who had opted to stretch his domain out through the catacombs, and considering his infamous tendency to leave a paper trail of destruction and disorder in his wake, they had considered it for the best) had found sanctuary on the third floor.

There were only a few rooms on the second floor; one of them was a large, almost spherical room that had one of its' concave walls replaced by a large window. He realized it gave a perfect view of Kingdom Hearts; the only better view he'd found so far was in his room.

He made a note to let Saix know; if his pup could use this room to study his own berserker tendencies safely, he would gladly stay by his side and help him stay sane throughout the process. He shut the door and turned to the other one at the end of the hall; it was a black door with a silver carving of their symbol on it.

He opened the door and peeked inside, taking note of the interior. The second he walked in, for some odd reason, he was overwhelmed by a gentle comfort, one that even without emotions, he could process.

The room itself was plain, but as he looked up, he realized the ceiling was made of stained glass, letting the dappled light from the sky above shine down and throw colors all across the room. It didn't seem to have a purpose, but Xemnas liked it all the same. He noted he'd have to spend time here more often; it had a simple, straightforward sort of beauty, and he liked it. Nothing special about it…it just made him believe he really could feel genuine peace.

He left the room with a small sigh, climbing up the steps and passing the third and fourth floors; they'd already gone over those fairly well.

The fifth floor housed no surprises or hidden secrets; it was a hallway of plain rooms, but Xemnas figured he could let the others have at them; Aeleus and Dilan had taken up painting as a second hobby, and they'd indulged in painting when they'd had the chance. It would probably take their minds off of whatever stressed them out at times, and he made a quick note to tell them about it as he climbed up the stairs to the sixth floor.

This was the floor that held the library; the library itself climbed right up to the seventh floor, and, (if Zexion had gotten his way), would have probably gone right up to the eighth as well. However, Xemnas had drawn the line at two floors, so the rest of the books remained down in the lab. He let himself have a minute in the library, simply to take in the familiar scent of aged paper and ink before heading up to the eighth floor.

The ninth floor had, Xemnas noted with amusement, rooms that led to somewhere else. The first room led him into his own bedroom; (he made a note to keep that door locked), while the second led into Demyx's room. He raised an eyebrow, already seeing a slight pattern, but continuing on anyways.

The third room led into the kitchen; he smirked, finding it appropriate as well. The fourth led into the labs; this time, he tried not to laugh out loud. The fifth led outside, beside a patch of earth; he quirked an eyebrow, making a mental note to let Lexaeus know about the possible garden. The sixth led right into the library.

It took him a minute to convince himself to open the seventh door, but when he did, he realized with a start it led back into his bedroom. For some reason, he was triumphant about that, but the reason why he was evaded him.

It was then remembered that, if his hypothesis was correct, these doors led somewhere important for them all. That _definitely_ was a cause for triumph, and he was already thinking of ways to discreetly rub his victory in Axel's face as he opened the eighth door.

His eye twitched when he realized that this one also opened up to his bedroom. He would already have murdered Axel long ago, except, well, according to this door, Saix was the most important thing for him as well.

He prized his pup above all else, even without a heart, so he could safely assume it was only natural that at least a few others would recognize his nearly divine beauty. Besides…they had cared for each other when they'd had their hearts.

If it was that important to Saix, he knew, no matter how much he loathed Axel for trying to steal Saix away from his "lecherous" grasp, he had to at least attempt to share. Attempt, mind you. And of course, he was still allowed to attempt to murder Axel with the powers of his mind alone when he so much as glanced at Saix.

Baby steps, baby steps.

He sighed, opening the ninth door. That one, as he had expected, led into Xigbar's room. As he closed it, he noted there were six other doors; thirteen in all. He would have to come back up here as they gained new members, simply out of curiosity as to what would be the most important thing for them, as well.

He ascended the steps to the tenth floor, but all the doors there opened up to staircases either leading up or down. He raised an eyebrow as he looked down and realized that the staircases led to nowhere. They just stopped. He shook his head, shrugging his shoulders and letting it go as he climbed up to the eleventh floor.

It had another set of thirteen rooms; all of them were small, shelves lining the walls. Xemnas assumed it was a place for them to store clutter and trinkets, which he found interesting, albeit seemingly useless. He shrugged. Considering the sheer amount of scientific journals, charts, essays, thesis papers, and other assorted things Even had stockpiled during his time as an Apprentice, he could probably easily take up all the space by himself.

(In his defense, he'd been an Apprentice longer than any of them. However, this did not excuse him from simply just being a giant nerd and performing experiments for the sheer purpose of 'why not' far more than any of them ever had.)

Although, he conceded, that had led to some very useful random appliances, like the toaster that could bake cookies, or the hairdryer that doubled as a pen holder…and some more, well, disturbing experiments, like the time with the zombie hamster, (Ienzo had been heartbroken when Snuggles died, and, well…Even's intentions were good, he supposed…)

Or the time he'd tried to give the crocodiles cybernetic implants to make Aeleus' and Dilan's habit of wrestling with them 'more exciting,' (it was a wonder the other, _saner_ residents of Radiant Garden hadn't started a pitchforks and torches mob), or the time with the noodles which Vexen still refused to speak of.

…Or the time he'd vivisected the bunnies. (He argued that he'd tried to put the organs back _in _once he realized they were still alive, but considering he hadn't been able to resist attempting to see if their hearts would survive if connected to the rest of their body while remaining outside of it upon the rabbits' shoulders…it…hadn't ended well.)

Xemnas realized he really had to stop thinking about all the times Even had created unholy abominations against god and mercy, otherwise he'd be there all day. He hurried up to the twelfth floor, curious to see what the second-to-last top floor held.

As he opened the first door, he felt bile rise in his throat. It was his old room. His room when he had lived at Radiant Garden. He looked down the hall. Six doors.

He shut the door, unable to even look at it for another moment longer. He'd tell the others, however. They could make the decision of whether or not they wished to come up and observe it for themselves.

It was with a heavier feeling that he ascended to the thirteenth floor; even though he couldn't feel proper sadness, the little bit of understanding he had left weighed his soul down as he walked down the hallway.

There were a few doors, but none of them held anything interesting. The last one at the very end of the hall was the one he knew he had to open. He went up to it and opened it without hesitation, storming inside, closing his eyes as he did; he didn't know if he could bear anything horrible again.

One look at the room and he burst into tears.

Only a single word occupied his thoughts as he looked around the room; his teacher's study.

_Teacher, teacher, _teacher_? Teacher, are you there? F-father?_

Silence. He reached out a trembling hand to stroke the shelves, feeling the soft spines of familiar books under the caress of his fingers. He turned around to see the desk, papers still scattered across it haphazardly. The whole room was as it had been before the fall.

He fell to his knees, closing his eyes and letting the darkness take him away. He didn't deserve to be in this room. No more.

He realized he'd arrived back in his bedroom; plus, from the color of the sky, making his rounds had taken longer than he'd expected; it was nighttime, probably late. He looked up at Kingdom Hearts, the memory of what he had seen in that little room still haunting him.

That heart-shaped moon spoke of his sacrifice. It haunted him just as much as it entranced him. It never let him be, yet he didn't know where he'd be without its' comforting glow. It was his sin and his burden, but it was also his hope and his way out.

"I hate you." He whispered, knowing even as he looked up at the moon that it was a lie. "I love you." He whispered again, knowing that too was a lie.

"You are what is going to make me feel." He told the moon, and this time he prayed that was the truth.

There was silence in the room for a long time as he sat up and stared at it. He didn't bother with words; he knew they'd be useless. He could not commune with the moon like his Saix could, but even just the small act of watching it was enough.

"Master?" Saix's voice jolted him out of his thoughts, and he started, turning around to realize his pet was standing in the doorway, relief written across his face. "Oh, good, you're done. I was starting to worry." He crossed the room to stand beside his master.

"Were you thinking about something, my master? Was it important?" Xemnas nodded. Saix smiled, sitting on the bed. "If you can, would you privilege me with your thoughts, my Superior?" He asked.

The tugging in Xemnas' chest intensified to near-painful levels as he watched his Saix, sitting on the bed, so innocent and perfect and naïve and pure and dedicated, so very, very his. Saix…was his gift. His prize, his treasure, his everything.

There was only a slight feeling of surprise as he pounced, pushing Saix down on the bed and burying his face into his neck. Saix mewed in shock, but after a moment, he relaxed as he took in the familiar scent and feel of his master.

"You are why I am fighting this battle, Saix." He murmured, voice muffled against his diviner's pale, soft skin. Saix laid his head back against the mattress.

"I…am not sure what you mean, my master." He replied slowly, trying to understand as he reached a hesitant hand up to stroke his master's hair, being rewarded with a small moan.

"You are the glory I seek when we reach Kingdom Hearts. You are my small taste of the heaven we will all feel. You are a blessing, my Saix, and you are my everything. My treasure, my pet, my gift, my perfection, my completion." He moaned once more.

"I have warred endlessly with myself over whether all of our sacrifice was worth it; even sometimes, perhaps, whether or not it could have been avoided. Kingdom Hearts represents my sins…my sacrifices…my burden. Yet it also represents my hope; my dreams for a heart, my way out of the darkness." He looked up to watch his diviner, his own amber eyes meeting Saix's fierce golden ones.

"Yet you, who has been gifted with the power of that moon…the only thing you are to me is that beauty. There is no memory of my sins within you; you are only hope. You are only my way out; only my reason to even dream of reclaiming a heart." He whispered. "Thank you, Saix. You have given me more than enough reason to believe Kingdom Hearts will truly be worth fighting for."

Saix was quiet for a time. After he had sat in silence, holding Xemnas, he began to purr, pulling his master closer.

"Then I shall stand and fight by your side, my master." He replied. "I will be your sword and shield. If I am the reason you fight for this completion, I will not let you fight alone." He smiled.

"You are my master. My own completion; my own hope, my own way out of the darkness. I owe you everything. Thank you, my master. You have given me something to fight for." He whispered, letting Xemnas pick him up and unzip his coat, tossing it away carelessly as he did the same with his own, removing his boots as Saix settled for kicking them off and pushing them away.

Xemnas picked him up once more, pushing back the blankets and settling him into bed, climbing in beside him and pulling him close, realizing that the entire time they had held each other, that beautiful tugging in his chest had settled into a gentle, purring throb. He smiled as Saix rolled over in bed to face him, burying his face into Xemnas' chest.

"My everything." He whispered, falling asleep in his arms. Xemnas watched him for a time; his breathing was slow, peaceful, gentle. He could feel his chest rise and fall as he held him in his arms.

Saix may have been naïve about romance, but…even just being his everything was enough. Just holding him was enough. Xemnas was a patient man; he could live with what he had now.

Saix was enough. Saix was all that Xemnas had asked for, and more. He was Saix's everything; it was a start, a beginning. One day, he would have Saix call him his lover. But…before that day came…

"You are my everything, Saix. As I am yours." Xemnas whispered, cradling his pet close and letting their bodies entwine in perfect unison as Kingdom Hearts lay above them in the sky.


	19. Rock the Jesus Mullet

(Right, so here we are. :3 I have my mom's spare laptop and a flash drive so all is well. ^^

DEMYX=JESUS? CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE AT ELEVEN.

So Jesus rocks a mullet. Fuck. Yes.

Anyways, nothin' much new. Except Dem being mentally disturbed. Which isn't really new but hey, point made. FtM should be going up soon, btw. Hopefully I can edit fast enough for an update today, actually. :3

Don't own KH, but I totally claim Jesus-Mullets as a registered trademark of the Me Corporation. :3

All right, thank you so much for waiting on my updates! I just have one more question to take up your precious time with.

Well, considering the massive bloody amount of drabble ideas I have for after/before this prequel arc and FtM's canon itself; would you all be interested in random oneshots from Radiant Garden with the Apprentices, or post-FtM (no spoilers~) drabbles? Because I'm willing to write them, but I'd like to know if there'd be an audience for them as well. :3

Thank you~ I'm really glad you all like, read, and review this story. It makes me happy beyond belief, trust me. I love all my fans and adore the reviews, because they give me ideas. ^^

So this chapter's dedicated to you!)

* * *

Eventually, the two realized they'd reached another portal-a way out of the Corridor. Demyx yawned, stretching out his arms as he shook his head and looked up at Xigbar. "We're here?" He asked. Xigbar nodded, ruffling his hair and tugging him gently through the portal.

The two landed in the world and stared in sudden awe.

Port Royal was like no other world they'd been to thus far. It was darker, more...stark, rougher, and something altogether alien in contrast to the gentler colors of most of the other worlds they'd traveled to. The only world that came close was Halloweentown; however, Port Royal had none of the hidden morbid menace and scum floating under the surface. It wore its' menace like a badge of honor; scum, rather than lurking just below, seemed to be the mortar in the bricks of this wretched world.

Xigbar loved it.

Demyx watched with a bemused sort of interest as Xigbar seemed to skip through the streets, ponytail trailing behind him as he cackled with glee, observing the dark and grim atmosphere with nothing but joy.

"Xiggy, this really isn't the kind of place you'd be happy in." He said, catching up with Xigbar as he strode through the streets and headed for the port. Xigbar snorted in disgust, gesturing to the decrepit buildings and grinning wickedly at the wretched conditions.

"Dems, the past five places Xeh has sent me have had adorable cartoon critters out the wazoo, cheerful colors that were so bright it was like going blind, and I swear to god I heard the crowd start to sing whenever someone so much as breathed funny. This is all I've ever dreamed of." He said, eye sparkling with glee as he hugged a random passerby. Demyx rolled his eyes and huffed in amused disgust as he followed behind Xigbar, who was still almost skipping down the path to the port.

Once the two actually reached the edge of the docks, Xigbar sobered up and got serious. He observed the ships docked there with a keen, analytical eye and a wicked smirk gracing his features.

"Now, Demyx." He purred. "From the small bits of intelligence we have gathered about this place, there is a cursed medallion within this world that turns those that possess it into skeletons. Those cursed men are pirates. Those men are the ones who are the best way to seek out the darkness in this world. Once again, they are pirates. Now, what's the best way to catch a pirate?" He asked. Demyx tilted his head and thought for a moment.

"Um...sing a pirate song?" He suggested. Peggy hummed her agreement.

Xigbar resisted the urge to sigh. He shook his head and flicked Demyx's forehead, noting the adorable squeak that jumped from his throat and realizing he'd have to do that more often. "No, Dem. A ship. We're going to hijack a pirate ship." He said, noting with amusement the way Demyx's eyes lit up like it was Christmas.

"Oh Xiggy, this is the best mission ever!" He cheered, trying, (and failing), not to jump for joy. Xigbar rolled his eyes, but there was a smile on his face as he gestured to the ships.

"Right, so we're gonna be out looking for the Black Pearl. The Heartless are probably going to flock towards those...skeleton-zombie-pirate things. We find one, we find the other, so keep yourself alert, all right?" He called back. Demyx nodded, following loyally after him as Xigbar sized up the ships.

There were a few that seemed to be spartan and clean enough, but they didn't look quite...right. Xigbar wanted a proper ship, one they could actually use. They walked together for awhile, simply observing each ship. Some were more ancient looking than others, and still more were downright decrepit. Xigbar was starting to lose hope until they reached the end of the docks and saw the last ship held there.

It was massive, stalwart and tall; a vast expanse of deck, proud, crimson sails, and a mast carved with intricate figures that flowed with the ship. Xigbar grinned. "Found our boat, Dem. Quickly, all right? Let's go sailing." He purred. Demyx yelped with glee, climbing up the ladder and jumping onto the deck.

"We're pirates now, Xiggy! Really, really pirates!" He cheered. Xigbar smiled, pulling out the sails and arranging the ship.

"S'pose so." He murmured, raising the flag and trying not to laugh at the ridiculous picture they presented. A cute little teenage boy and a war-scarred man with an eyepatch. His grin grew wider as he realized that for once, _he_ was the one who really fit into this world instead of Demyx.

With a flick of Demyx's hand, the waves stirred around them and spurred them onwards, right out into the ocean in search of both Heartless and zombies.

* * *

Demyx sighed in contentment, watching the waves lap against the sides of the ship to try to reach him. He held out a hand and let them rush up and crash against his palm, giggling at the ticklish sensations of the seafoam. Xigbar steered the ship forward as Demyx began to murmur to the waves, spurring them on and speeding them off to their destination.

According to the Dusks, there was a hidden cavern where the cursed medallion and the skeleton pirates were holed up. Their task was now to find it and scope it out, hopefully gathering some more information about the darker denizens of the world and the world itself in the process.

Demyx was quiet as Xigbar kept a lookout for the cavern. He watched the waves for a long time, letting them come up to him like eager beasts. He stroked their crests and hummed for a moment, before he realized something. "Xigbar, hold on a sec." He murmured, leaning down to reach a wave. Xigbar watched as Demyx stroked the crest of the wave, keeping it static under his palm. Then he said something to it that sounded to Xigbar like the rush of the tide against the shore. Whatever it was, it made the waves suddenly shift direction and steer them towards another course. Xigbar stared at Demyx in shock, who just grinned shyly.

"The ocean knows where to go." He murmured. "So I just asked." Xigbar continued to stare for a moment before he whistled in amazement.

"You're somethin' else, kitten." He said in awe. Demyx laughed, shouldering Peggy and pointing out to the sea.

"That's where it is, by the way. That cove...it's under the water a little though." He murmured. Xigbar snorted with disgust.

"Fuck. Can you make the sea part, Demyx?" He teased. "It'd make it a hell of a lot easier."

Demyx held his hand out and swished it from side to side for a moment, like a conductor facing an invisible orchestra.

The sea stilled and parted within an instant. In front of them was a giant cove.

Xigbar stared. Demyx just giggled.

* * *

Xigbar left the ship on the edge of the shore, making sure it wouldn't drift off before turning to Demyx. "All right, kitten, let's get going. But first, listen up, all right?" He said, making sure he had Demyx's complete and utter attention before talking. "If anything happens to me, I want you out of there. Don't stay behind or fight; believe me, kitten, I've been in my fair share of scraps and come out alive. Your safety is way more important, got it?"

Demyx opened his mouth to protest, but Xigbar cut him off. "That's an order, Demyx. Let's get going." He beckoned him in through the cavern, taking the lead into the darkness.

For Demyx, it seemed like the world had swallowed him up and eaten him alive. He hadn't remembered his nightmare, but the memories were still locked away within him. He recognized the same crushing pressure and hateful, slimy darkness. Peggy, responding to his pain, gave off a quiet hum as she began to glow a soft bluish-white, lighting up the cave for the both of them. Xigbar nodded a thanks before letting space warp around them both and make them unseen.

The silence and pressure was making Demyx start to hurt. He wasn't sure how it hurt, and he wasn't sure what kind of hurt it was.

(_A heart-hurt, but you don't have a heart to hurt, Myde)_

Demyx froze in place for a moment. "Myde?" He whispered, causing Xigbar to start and turn to face him. The Freeshooter immediately schooled his expression, already feeling his features tighten with shock. Demyx was utterly motionless still, face as blank and unresponsive as a broken toy. Xigbar shuddered.

"It's just you and me, Dem." Xigbar murmured. "No one else is here, got it? Myde isn't here."

Demyx turned to him with a single mechanical twist, head tilted slightly to observe him. Then he nodded, no smile across his lips.

"Yeah." He whispered. "Myde died a long time ago."


	20. The Oncoming Storm

(BARBOSSAAAAAA

Okay I'm good. Make no mistake, I highly respect him, and honestly think a fight between him and Xigbar would be made of so much concentrated pirate-related badass it might kill bystanders within twenty miles. With DemDems cheering Xigbar on in the background.

Also; HA! DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING, DIDJA! AHAHAHA TOLD YOU DEMYX WAS BADASS I TOLD YOU SO I TOLD YOU SO I TOLD YOU SOOO~~

Ahem. Forgive me; seeing Demyx constantly and without fail being portrayed as a wussy cutie who can't do anything except play his sitar (to like, today's top 40 fucking hits, really ficcers), and give people stupid nicknames and apparently be so fucking dumb that he couldn't tell his right from his left, I have finally gotten fed up with it. Damn it, he stole the Olympus Stone, he royally fucked Sora over in Hollow Bastion, and out-moe-moes moogles riding baby chocobos in Candyland. Okay?

Sometimes, even characters who don't normally get that treatment deserve to be really badass. Demyx has just had it a long time comin'.

Sooo yeah. Hope you enjoy this chapter~! ^^ More to come tomorrow!

ALSO; crap connection=crap connection. PM replies and anything else will be sloooow. Please forgive me! I'm doing my best! D: Thank you so much for accommodating this~!)

* * *

Xigbar left the ship on the edge of the shore, making sure it wouldn't drift off before turning to Demyx. "All right, kitten, let's get going. But first, listen up, all right?" He said, making sure he had Demyx's complete and utter attention before talking. "If anything happens to me, I want you out of there. Don't stay behind or fight; believe me, kitten, I've been in my fair share of scraps and come out alive. Your safety is way more important, got it?"

Demyx opened his mouth to protest, but Xigbar cut him off. "That's an order, Demyx. Let's get going." He beckoned him in through the cavern, taking the lead into the darkness.

For Demyx, it seemed like the world had swallowed him up and eaten him alive. He hadn't remembered his nightmare, but the memories were still locked away within him. He recognized the same crushing pressure and hateful, slimy darkness. Peggy, responding to his pain, gave off a quiet hum as she began to glow a soft bluish-white, lighting up the cave for the both of them. Xigbar nodded a thanks before letting space warp around them both and make them unseen.

The silence and pressure was making Demyx start to hurt. He wasn't sure how it hurt, and he wasn't sure what kind of hurt it was.

(_A heart-hurt, but you don't have a heart to hurt, Myde)_

Demyx froze in place for a moment. "Myde?" He whispered, causing Xigbar to start and turn to face him. The Freeshooter immediately schooled his expression, already feeling his features tighten with shock. Demyx was utterly motionless still, face as blank and unresponsive as a broken toy. Xigbar shuddered.

"It's just you and me, Dem." Xigbar murmured. "No one else is here, got it? Myde isn't here."

Demyx turned to him with a single mechanical twist, head tilted slightly to observe him. Then he nodded, no smile across his lips.

"Yeah." He whispered. "Myde died a long time ago."

* * *

Xigbar crept through the darkness with Demyx at his side. His brain was whirring with thoughts and theories, and for a moment, it felt...good. Like he was a scientist again. Like he was back with his family with his teacher over his shoulder, observing an experiment with pride etched into his features, like he was back at Radiant Garden...

(_But you can't ever go back, Braig. Even if you get Kingdom Hearts.) _

He sighed, dismissing the thought with a shake of his head. Focus on Demyx now. Myde; yes, Myde. The newest variable in the equation. Who was Myde? Xigbar snorted. It wasn't too hard to see. M-Y-D-E. Add an X...and what did you get? He pressed on, keeping an eye on the cove while still deep in thought. Myde. Demyx. Myde was Demyx's Somebody, his Other. Demyx was Myde's Nobody. But...why didn't Demyx remember Myde? They all remembered their past lives; it was why they'd stayed human, so to speak.

_Post traumatic stress disorder is serious, and if he's mentally unstable, that could spell disaster and you know it. _Xigbar stopped, remembering the conversation he'd had with Zexion. He cursed under his breath. _Thanks, Ienzo. If we get out of this alive, you can say 'I told you so.' _

Demyx grasped his hand. "Xiggy? Are you all right?" He murmured. Xigbar turned around to see Demyx standing there with fear across his features and sunken into his eyes. He tried to smile as Demyx looked right at him, his indigo eyes hopeless as he fixated his gaze right at him.

"Fine, Dem. Let's just keep moving, okay? I think I see some sort of light at the end of this cavern coming up. Stay with me; I don't know what's going to be waiting at that end, so don't you go running off, kitten." He teased, hearing Demyx's soft rushing breath of laughter as the two of them headed for the end of the cavern. For a moment, with Xigbar in front of him and holding his hand, Demyx forgot that agonizing pressure and hurt that being in the cave had caused him, and he simply followed right behind him.

After a bit more walking, the cavern seemed to yawn, opening its' mouth and letting them through into another, hollowed-out chamber. It was cut into the side of the cavern; they saw the moon overhead and the ship still beached, waiting for them like a stalwart and weathered guard dog. Demyx glanced around, pointing to the small pile of gold on the cavern floor.

"Is that where we're supposed to look for the medallion, Xigbar?" He asked. Xigbar shook his head, heading towards the center of the cave to observe all the walls and sides. Demyx followed behind him, skirting around the gold with a wary glance its' way, as if he expected a pirate to jump out from it.

"Nah, Dem. We're just here to look around, remember?" He reminded Demyx.

"But no one's here to ev'r jes' 'look around,' are they?" A voice interrupted their exploration with a sudden, sharp bark of laughter at the end of their spiel. There was a soft shushing noise like cloth against stone. The two tensed, realizing someone else was in the room with them. Xigbar drew Sharpshooter; Peggy glowed a harsh dark blue. The voice laughed again. "Aw, nah reason teh be like tha', I'm sure yer jes' here to _look around_, innit ye?"

A man stepped out of the shadows, flanked by ten others. Gangs of Heartless skittered around behind them, their eyes baleful and insectile. The leader, the man who had spoken, merely grinned, showing blackened gums and rotting teeth. He wore a tattered jacket encrusted with algae and barnacles, and his hair was grimy and hung in clumps down his back. Xigbar pushed Demyx behind him and raised his gun. The man laughed. "Nice gesture, but trouble is...we never did like visitors."

He stepped into the moonlight and rotted right in front of them. His skin melted away to reveal bones decayed by age and the spray of the ocean, the gruesome clothes hanging off of his newfound bony frame. His jaw fell open with a harsh clacking noise, leaving his mouth agape in a sickening rictus grin. His eyes rolled in his head, glinting in the moonlight as he fixed his gaze straight on them. Demyx went pale as the others stepped forward, their own bodies going through the same transformation, skin slowly rotting under the light of the moon.

"M'Captain Barbossa, I am." He said, picking a maggot out from between his teeth and flicking it aside, flashing them a grin. "Pleasure's mine." He jerked a thumb towards the pile of treasure. "I assume yeh know the curse, which is why yer here, but I'm 'fraid I can't let you near the medallions. They're a work in progress."

Xigbar nodded, not shifting from his fighting stance. "We're not here for the medallions. We're here to scope out the area." His voice was flat, but there was a hint of menace behind it, daring Barbossa to fuck with him. The captain snorted.

"That's what they all say, innit? Nah, with ye...lookit yeh. Yer like us; all yer missin' is yer own bloody treasure." Barbossa whipped a hand out and yanked Xigbar close. "How many men you killed, boy?" He hissed. "How many men fell under those weapons'a yers?"

Xigbar pushed him away, reaching Sharpshooter up to press against his collarbone. "Lost count." He sneered. "But I know there's gonna be one more in about two seconds if you don't walk away." Barbossa snorted in disgust.

"Can't kill me, boy. That's part of the curse. You really don't know anythin', do yeh? Idiot..." He pushed Sharpshooter away with a flick of his hand, giving Xigbar a wicked grin. Xigbar winced. Worst way to complete a mission ever.

Barbossa stepped forward, raising his sword. "And, as a little lesson for yeh...I cannot abide useless people." He said, keeping his voice deadpan as he aimed for Xigbar.

"Xigbar, we have to run!" Demyx whispered, voice high with hysteria and fear. "Please, we have to get out of here!"

Barbossa turned to him, finally realizing Demyx was there. He stepped forward, still keeping his sword raised as he appraised Demyx with a calculating eye. Demyx swallowed, suddenly feeling like the cave was collapsing in on him. Peggy rumbled threateningly, glowing darker and darker. Barbossa laughed. "Sitar like tha' isn't gonna protect yeh, lad." He turned back to Xigbar.

"Is he yer pet? Yer litt'l thing? S'a cute one; shows some spirit...but he's got _fear. _That wonderful, wonderful look in his eyes...haven't seen fear like that in a long time." He murmured. With a flick of his wrist, his sword was against Demyx's throat. "Tell me, what's his blood to you? What's his life mean? From a man who can't stop living to a man who can _die_...would _you _show fear if he bled?" He put a small bit of pressure on his sword; enough to make Demyx bleed. It was only a drop, but it was enough.

The tugging started again, the horrific chest-tearing yanking that made him stagger, pain making his eye water. Red flashed across his vision as his body began to throb once more.

The pain began to subside after one agonizing instant, leaving Xigbar empty for a split second before rage burst through him with all its' vicious, volatile strength, making the pulsing in his chest grow as he saw the blood, clear as day in his vision.

Xigbar shook his head, stepping forward to face the skeleton. His one eye narrowed to a golden slit; he began to pace around the pirate like a hungry tiger. He came to a stop in front of Demyx and drew Sharpshooter, the gun loading with a soft hiss. All the while, the pirate watched him with cold, calculating eyes.

"You can't win." Xigbar murmured, voice deadly and cold. "I don't care if you can't die. I'll kill you before you take another step, curse or no curse. You get any closer to Demyx and you die here."

The tugging in his heart was getting stronger now; his body was starting to tremble, mimicking a heartbeat once more. Demyx was shivering behind him, eyes like a cornered animal. Barbossa stepped forward, pace clearly mocking as he reached out to pierce Demyx's throat.

Xigbar fired within an instant, striking him in the eye with a bullet as he ducked the swing of his sword. Barbossa grimaced, pulling the arrow out of his eye with a wet sort of sucking sound. He tossed it aside carelessly before thrusting his sword up. Xigbar dodged, but the awkward movement made him stumble, falling sideways against the cavern wall.

Barbossa knew a chance when he saw one. He darted towards him, raising his sword and laughing. "_You're_ the one dyin' here, mate. Just thought I should make tha' clear." He sneered, driving his sword down. Xigbar held out his arm to block it, but the blade sliced through his skin, leaving a gash across his arm.

Blood spilled on the ground, and that was when Demyx made his move.

He had sat in the corner, terrified for Xigbar as he and Barbossa dueled. The throbbing in his chest had increased, but not enough for him to realize pain or rage. But now Xigbar was kneeling on the floor, blood gushing from his arm as he tried to stop the bleeding.

The river of blood was so horribly, horribly red, almost like a gruesome parody of color, too bright, too thick, too real. It took Demyx a minute to realize what was happening, but suddenly the thought roared into his head that _Xigbar was bleeding _and something inside him broke.

The cavern exploded. Within an instant, it looked like a hurricane had focused all its' energy upon it, all the horrible energy contained in one small cave. The only untouched thing in there was Xigbar, who was staring at the avatar of the destruction like he had laid eyes on god.

Demyx had lost all of his humanity. The gentle little boy was gone; raw power whipped around him in tendrils, reaching out to caress the sea. His coat was ripped, torn beyond repair, and he stood before Xigbar unclothed and open. Xigbar couldn't help the excited shiver that wracked him as he stared at that raw, trembling power in Demyx's grasp. He was wild and mad in that moment, and Xigbar wanted him.

As Xigbar lay hypotized by the raw power that was coursing through Demyx, the pirates, unharmed by the fallout, had fled to their ship. Xigbar hadn't seen it, but Demyx knew. The ocean was stirring around their ship. He could feel the waves.

_They made Xigbar bleed_

His thoughts came to him jumbled and broken, but that one thought stood out like a stark flash of light among his mind. It was controlling that delicious agony, the throbbing in his chest that pulsed and pulsed and pulsed

_Xigbar is my heart and they made Xigbar bleed_

Demyx opened his eyes, and Xigbar saw nothing human behind them.

"_No." _He snarled.

The waves burst through the cavern, taking Xigbar and Demyx both with them. Demyx stood over them, walking across the water like he had all the time in the world as he raised his arms high in the air. He brought them down with a gentle swish, and as he did so, thunderclouds rolled over the moon and burst within a second's time, sending torrents of piercing, freezing rain down on the world all within a single minute.

He raised his palms upward, and suddenly, gale forces tore their way through the ocean, whistling in high-pitched whines as they stirred and tore the ocean up, whipping waves backwards and forwards as the rain poured down into their depths. Thunder roared as lightning raced across the skies; Xigbar felt one bolt hit the ocean no more than an inch away from him, and the raw power in the blast made his skin crawl and his hair stand on end.

Xigbar watched as Demyx crooked a single finger and the wave he had been trapped in brought him up at Demyx's feet.

Xigbar looked up at him, shocked by his gaze; Demyx's eyes had gone so cold and merciless with fury that he barely recognized the ocean-blue he'd sworn he'd never forget. Demyx spoke, running a gentle hand over his arm, brushing his fingers against the gash.

"_Did they hurt you?" _He murmured. Xigbar shook his head. He'd do anything to make this stop, anything to calm the storm whipping around them, its' fury and potency increasing by the second, anything to get Demyx's smile back, _anything. _

"No, kitten." He gasped, trying to hide his wince of pain. "As if...I'm all right, s'just a scratch." Demyx shook his head, licking the blood off of his fingers and snarling at the taste.

"_You're lying." _He hissed. "_They hurt you." _What he said next was so flat and cold that even though it was simple, it sounded so much like a fact, a clear certainty, that Xigbar shuddered.

"_I'll kill them." _He whispered, and Xigbar knew he meant it.


	21. That Which We Are

(Where has everyone been? D: I've missed y'all so much. Glad to see Jaie back though~! ^^

Right, so ummmm more carnage and agony and stuffs but FUCK THAT

APPRENTICE FLUFF YOU GUYS

(Oh and Vexen in a ponytail; adorablest thing ever or adorablest thing in the universe? Discuss.)

Seriously, I will never get tired of writing Apprentice friendfluff. What would that be? Fruff? Can I call it Fruff? Because that is the best portmanteau _ever. _No lie. Anyways, I seriously don't, and it only gets cuter later on. Point aside, hideous new Black/White fish is hideous, but Shijika is REALLY CUTE also OMFG WE HAVE A FLYING SQUIRREL AND A DEER NOW LIFE=COMPLETE.

I like Rocky and Bullwinkle. :3

Uh, so right, sorry, got off track; off to South Carolina for a few days; I'll be back on Wednesday~! No computer, sadly. Gonna be chillin' and...stuff. Mostly chillin'. Oh and the beach. And finishing my Pokedex; 20 more to go, yo! Most of them trade evos though so ffff I mean I have two DSes but the trading cutscenes are looonnngggg

Can you tell I'm tired I sure can why did no one tell me we were going to the beach it's like eight in the morning and I went to bed at two you suck mom D:

Okay so um BACK ON SUBJECT AGAIN; carnage and fluff and some other assorted stuff, Demyx is badass, and some other stuff. Man I really am just too tired to function, so all I can say is I love you all and I'll see you Wednesday~!

Don't own, leduh.

Dedicated to the ten hour car ride I'm gonna have to go through. Praying I'll sleep through it. (Oh and you guys too :3)

* * *

The sea tore itself apart as Demyx walked towards the pirate ship, waves slamming into each other on both sides as the wind tore sails clean off while Demyx climbed on their ship and took the wheel like he wasn't even aware of the storm tearing pieces off of the ships and smashing rocks into pieces. Xigbar teleported away from the water, darting across the air and screaming Demyx's name over the roaring wind, trying to make Demyx listen to him.

Demyx paid him no heed; he had abandoned the wheel and now let the waves steer the ship as he guided them from the prow of the boat, the massive swells pushing them forward as he aimed one right at Barbossa's ship. It broke over the hull, slamming both pirates and Heartless into the water. The ocean swelled and boiled; Xigbar realized that Demyx had created a whirlpool and was sucking them in.

The pirates could not die; Xigbar's fight with Barbossa had proved it. That just made their drowning so much worse. Their eyes would roll back in their head; their skin would bloat and rot, but they could not let it end. Their screams were voiceless, wordless, but their mouths were frozen in terror that was real enough.

As the pressure intensified under the waves, a few of their skulls began to collapse in on themselves; bits of bone and rotting brain matter floated to the surface, only to get swept up by the tides. Demyx watched this with a blank gaze, only snarling as he realized that even that would not fell them.

The Heartless... Xigbar had never seen a Heartless drown. He never wanted to see it again.

They bloated up like gruesomely obese parodies of themselves, skin bubbling and rippling as the darkness within them began to liquefy before they burst, spreading over the surface like oil; hideous, midnight-colored oil that still managed to seethe with the darkness. Xigbar realized that they still had eyes; malevolent yellow eyes glaring up at them through the water, even as they drowned, making inhuman chittering noises and painfully human screams of agony as they were pulled down into the depths.

Throughout all this, Demyx simply watched, eyes as apathetic as a vengeful god as he swept his gaze over it all, his only response to strengthen the storm and trap the swirling vortex of living darkness, drowning out their screams and hissing. Xigbar realized that he had to act; shaking himself out of his horrified shock, he screamed, "DEMYX!" The sound of his name barely made Demyx turn his head. Xigbar hissed with frustration. One last thing; he had left to him only one last resort.

"Demyx." He said, voice soft. "You're hurting me."

The world stopped.

The hurricane did not calm; it froze, storm looking like it had been hit with a pause button. Finally, Demyx turned to see Xigbar. The blank, inhuman eyes refocused; their normal, beautiful sapphire came back, sparkling with the same light that they always had. His body relaxed from its' rigid stance, and as he shook his head and tried to stand up properly, he started to tremble. "Xiggy?" He called back to him, realizing the gash on his arm was still bleeding.

He gasped, darting over the water's surface to kneel beside him. "Oh my gosh, Xiggy! You're bleeding really bad!" He wailed, trying to wash off the blood frantically. Xigbar stared at him in horrified amazement before he burst out in hysterical laughter, trying to hold in the screams but failing as he looked up at Demyx, shocked beyond belief. Demyx tugged him up to stand, seeming to ignore the drowning Heartless and the newly-restarted storm. "Oh, Xigbar..." He turned around to finally see the carnage. His eyes widened; Peggy trembled against him. "Xiggy?" He whispered, voice soft and scared. "Did I do that?"

Xigbar pulled him close. "Yeah, Dem." He murmured back. "C'mon." Demyx stared at him, barely comprehending what he'd said until his eyes rolled back in his head and he fainted. Xigbar picked him up carefully, cradling him close and strapping Peggy to his back as he summoned a Corridor and they were gone.

* * *

Lexaeus sighed, running a hand through his hair as he walked down to the Hall of Empty Melodies, deep in thought. Xigbar had not arrived home from the simple recon mission with Demyx; was Demyx still ill? Had the musician been hurt? He shook his head. He'd told Zexion and Vexen to prepare for casualties and mix some Hi-Potions and synthesize a few Cura, but he was unsure whether they would be enough to deal with the possible fallout.

He knew it was most likely that Xigbar would arrive back in the castle through the Hall of Empty Melodies, which is why he had chosen that part of the castle as the best place to stand vigil. He sat on one of the balconies and waited, keeping a careful eye on the floor of the hall.

He took out his smallest chain puzzle and redid the links, frowning in annoyance at the repetitive puzzles. He'd have to go out and get some more, although he might just ask Zexion to do it, considering most people were rather off-put by a man his size...however, Zexion wasn't exactly the most socially gifted of people, and might just traumatize a poor shopkeeper for life...Vexen, maybe?

...Wait, scratch that, that would be even worse. He winced. He might just go himself and hope no one was scared off; no one else seemed sane enough for the task.

In his musings, he had yet to realize that a Corridor had opened. It was only when Xigbar roared with pain that Lexaeus started, chain puzzle clattering to the ground as he jumped from the balcony and rushed to where Xigbar knelt, holding Demyx in his arms.

"Xigbar, what happened? My god, is Demyx all right?" He asked, helping Xigbar stand and sharing Demyx's weight. Xigbar laughed, but the laughter sounded forced and dry as he looked up at Lexaeus.

"Yeah, if you can call summoning a fucking hurricane and attempting to drown immortal pirate zombies and _succeeding _at drowning a bunch of goddamned giant _Heartless_ fine." He hissed. Lexaeus' eyes widened in shock as he looked down at Demyx, who had gone from fainting to asleep, peaceful as could be. Xigbar stroked a few soaked strands of hair away from his face. "Yeah."

He displayed the gash on his arm, which had become soaked with sea-water and now stung like hell. "See this? Got this from one of those pirates. Demyx, who, having no fighting skill whatsoever, had been hiding, immediately went _absolutely fucking insane_, hijacked a goddamn _pirate ship, _and did his damndest to destroy a bunch of _literal immortals_. All because I got what amounts to a goddamn papercut, considering all the other wounds I've acquired." He said, voice flat and level. Lexaeus stared at him for a minute, stunned. Xigbar snorted.

"So, while I go try to deal with the fallout from this, you can tell Even that whatever this placebo thing is, it's fucking dangerous. We're gonna have to find out way more if we want to prevent another storm like this." Lexaeus nodded, still in shock as Xigbar disappeared into the darkness.

Xigbar walked down the hallway, cradling Demyx in his arms. He was deep in thought as he looked down at the smaller boy; he looked so gentle and peaceful that it was almost impossible for him to believe Demyx had done all that, and he'd _been_ there. Xigbar shook his head, holding him close. He was going to deal with the fallout when Demyx woke up, and he'd do his best, but he couldn't lie; it scared him.

How much would Demyx break? He wasn't a fighter. This...murderous streak; it wasn't Demyx. It couldn't be. Demyx was...was nothing like him. He wasn't a murderer, a fucking monster. He hadn't experimented on living humans. He hadn't toyed with the darkness on a whim. Xigbar didn't want Demyx to be like him.

Xigbar realized tears were dripping down his cheeks; a simple reflex. Tear ducts were stimulated on occasion, regardless of emotion. Yet...crying felt good. It felt like he needed it right now.

He remembered his teacher telling Ienzo once, after he'd messed up an experiment and been reduced to tears, that crying was nothing to be ashamed of. It was a release. You always felt better once you'd cried, after all.

Taking his teacher's advice to heart, Xigbar brought Demyx to his room, laid him down on the bed, sat down, and just let himself cry.

* * *

Lexaeus walked down the hallway, trying to gather his thoughts. Demyx? Demyx, of all people? Lexaeus didn't know him as well as Xigbar, considering Xigbar had spent most of his time for the past week or two with him, but he was a gentle soul, and he always looked Lexaeus in the eye while he was talking. He smirked. Too many people had cast their eyes downward from fear for so long...it had been a relief to see someone unafraid of him. He hoped Demyx would be all right...in any case, he did indeed have to go see Vexen; this was a pressing matter, and he needed to know what had transpired.

Lexaeus opened the door and headed down the steps, his feet quiet upon the stone floor. He could hear Zexion's muted whispers and a hissed curse from Vexen as he reached the door that led from the main room into the workroom. He opened the door and entered the room, surveying the scene with interest.

Vexen's notes were scattered across the room, some now spattered with a coagulated crimson substance. It pulsed when Lexaeus got near it, and he fought down a shudder as he stared at it uneasily. "Tell me, Even," he murmured, "what is this?" Vexen snorted in disgust, scraping it off the notes.

"It is, believe it or not, what you might call...artificial organs." He groaned. "Well, sort-of. You see, we took some organ tissue we had left over and began to attempt at reproducing the cells through mitosis. Trouble is, when it got too big...it burst." Vexen huffed. "We'll keep trying, but...I'm not sure how we'll be able to control the replication of cells enough to form a real, working heart."

He looked up at Lexaeus with interest, gesturing for him to sit. "So, any news from Braig?" He asked, letting Zexion sink down on the couch next to Lexaeus as he pulled up a stool, hooking his feet on the rungs and giving Lexaeus his undivided attention. Lexaeus swallowed, unsure of what to say.

"...Well...there is some. In his own words, I believe Demyx summoned a hurricane, drowned about one hundred Heartless alive, hijacked a pirate ship, and attempted to drown a bunch of pirate-zombie immortal creatures. All because Xigbar was injured. At the risk of repeating him word-for-word, the injury he sustained from his battle was nothing more than a nick from a kitchen knife compared to his usual wounds; at least, that's the information I got from what I'd observed." Lexaeus said. Zexion stared up at him in amazement. Vexen paled, fumbling for a pen and scribbling notes as he managed to keep his eyes on Lexaeus.

"...How in the name of Shiva did he_ do it_?" Vexen murmured, both shocked and awed by the description. "I believe the general consensus amongst us all is that Demyx is a kind, cheerful, and an altogether good person; he's not a fighter at all. Hell's fire, I don't think any _one_ of us could muster up the strength for an entire _hurricane _on that sort of scale!" He paused, chewing a pen as he sunk deep into thought.

"...Unless...this has to do with that placebo. Lexaeus, when either of them are in a state to discuss what happened, you have to ask them about a 'tugging sensation' in their chest, and how and when it intensified. This could be crucial towards understanding how our 'emotions,' or whatever you wish to call them, have chosen to remanifest themselves."

Lexaeus nodded, standing up and taking Vexen's wrists in one hand, holding them steady to keep him from bolting as he brushed Vexen's hair behind his ears and tied it into a ponytail for him. Vexen stared at him in amazement as Lexaeus smiled.

"I haven't forgotten, Even." He murmured. "You're in your reclusive, absent-minded scientist mode, and if you're not careful with that hair, you'll burn it clean off in an experiment. I figured you'd rather have someone do it for you." Vexen watched him, unsure of what to say as he felt Lexaeus' fingers brush his cheek. "Don't lose those little habits, Even. We can't lose who we were. It's what has made us who we are." He turned to Zexion and managed another smile. "Please make sure he eats; and for the matter, that you do as well." Zexion nodded, smiling back as Lexaeus kissed his forehead and disappeared into the darkness.

Zexion turned around a moment later to see Vexen toying with his ponytail, eyes focused on a memory long past. "Vexen." He whispered, seeing the other man start slightly in shock. "Come on; we might as we obey Lexaeus' wishes now, considering we skipped breakfast." He murmured. Vexen nodded, following Zexion out into the main room to rifle through the cabinets, hair trailing behind him, away from his eyes and letting him think.


	22. My Savior, My Angel

(Lexaeus is awesome. He totes is.

Man, all my snarky comments are run dry, yo. I'm shot. This is just a cute chapter so there's nothing TO snark about.

Anyhoodle, I GOT ALL FOUR HUNDRED AND NINETY THREE POKEMON LOGGED IN MY POKEDEX~!

Play time was 138:42, and the last Pokemon I caught was Ho-Oh. I am now officially a Pokemon Master. :3

Annnyyyways, hope you like this new chapter; god you're all way behind what I have actually WRITTEN. Like, I'm pretty much 3/4ths done with the XalLux arc, yet...

Well I hate to do this, but yeah, I need more feedback. I like knowing what the people who read this think, and I'm going to be upfront; I procrastinate when I only get one or two reviews. To all my loyal reviewers, thank you; to those sick or away from the computer or whatever, I totes understand, but for those of you who don't ever review, even if you speak up just ONCE, I'd really like to hear from you! Please and thank you!

Don't own, don't mind.

Dedicated to the fact that I apparently am one of very few people who are dedicated/insane enough to get all 493 logged in my 'dex. Uh, hooray for dedication!)

* * *

Demyx slept without dreams. It was the sleep of pure exhaustion, of just needing to go away and hide from the world for as long as possible. If Demyx could control it, he was almost certain he'd never want to wake up again. In fact, there was only one thing that was keeping his soul from giving up, going home, and letting him fade into the darkness.

"X-Xigbar?" He whispered, opening his eyes slowly, taking in the sights of the room. His walls, the colorful scenes that Xigbar had helped him paint, the bookshelf in the corner, and Peggy's stand, which was currently empty; he could feel her weight in the bed beside him. It was quiet for a minute. Demyx started to panic. What if Xigbar had left him because of all that he'd done? Had Xigbar been frightened of him? Had he really hurt him?

"I killed my angel." He murmured, soft as he could against the pillow. He could feel burning tears trailing down his cheeks, and he did his best to dry them on the cloth of the pillowcase. He could feel his soul fading away now, the will to live slowly fading away from him. Just as he closed his eyes to wait for the end, he felt a cool, familiar hand against his forehead.

"No you didn't, Demyx." Xigbar murmured. "I'm right here."

Demyx rolled over to look up into Xigbar's eye, so familiar and golden and wonderful that he almost cried out as he pushed himself up in bed and threw his arms around Xigbar, supporting his weight so he could hug him as tightly as possible. Xigbar held him steady, unsure of what to say as Demyx began to bawl his eyes out, his screams muffled against Xigbar's chest. He settled for stroking his hair and letting him cry it out; it was what he had done, and hopefully it would help Demyx as well.

It took a long time; Xigbar wasn't sure how long. Ten minutes, twenty? The whole day? He just didn't know, and it really didn't matter. After awhile, Demyx's sobs had quieted, and he allowed Xigbar to let go of him and settle him down upon the bed. Demyx looked up at him with bleary, hopeless, red-rimmed eyes and tried his best to smile. Xigbar shook his head. "Don't worry about hiding your sadness from me, Dem. I need to know what's wrong."

Demyx shuddered. "I'm a monster, Xiggy." He whispered. "I'm so t-terrible...oh, I'm rotten and bad and I failed...I h-hurt you, and I didn't...I didn't mean to, but I saw your blood and I got so _scared..._" He looked up at Xigbar, and the timid, terrified look in his eyes made bile rise in his throat. "A-are you going to hit me?"

Xigbar stared at him, horrified. Demyx shuddered, unzipping his cloak slightly and exposed his neck. "If you, um, bite here, it'll be covered up b-by the coat...so that'd be okay with me t-too..." Xigbar watched as Demyx tilted his head back slightly to let him. He didn't let himself think as pure instinct took over and he pounced on Demyx, pulling him close and holding him in as tight of an embrace as he could manage, burying his face into his neck and inhaling his scent, losing himself in Demyx and trying to abate his violent rage enough to speak.

"Jesus fucking_ Christ_, Demyx," he hissed, meeting his eyes, "I will _never _hit you! As if! Not fucking _ever_!" He felt Demyx melt in his arms slightly, leaning against him as Xigbar continued his tirade. "No one will hit you, bite you, burn you, make you bleed, what _ever _it is that could possibly ever hurt you, not as long as I'm here! Least of all me!" Demyx watched him now as his rant picked up steam.

"You are not rotten! You're not bad, and you didn't fail! You did, like, the exact opposite of failing, kitten! You didn't hurt me; you did your damndest to protect me, and _that doesn't make you a monster_." Xigbar shuddered. All right. The past had to come out.

"You don't know what a monster really is, Demyx. A monster is someone who experimented on live humans and pumped darkness into their hearts. A monster is someone who was more than willing to sacrifice lives just to understand a stupid concept that never mattered anyway. A monster is someone who took everything from their teacher, the man they loved like a father, and let their world fall. I'm the monster, Demyx. Not you. Never you." He whispered.

Demyx was quiet for a minute. Xigbar waited for him to tear his way out of his arms and storm off, leaving him behind.

Demyx hugged him tighter. He undid Xigbar's ponytail and buried his hands in his hair, stroking it gently as he leaned against his chest. "No, Xiggy." Demyx murmured. "You got better. If...if you were really a monster...if that means so much to you, and you can't let it go..." He looked up into his eyes and smiled. "I forgive you, Braig." He whispered. "And you are my angel now, Xigbar."

Xigbar felt the familiar tugging in his chest again; only this time, it was a soft, purring throb, gentle and serene as he took Demyx's head in his hands. "I know, Demyx." He whispered. "And I swear to god, I won't screw up again. I won't let anyone hurt you. I won't let any monster get at you ever again, no matter who or what they are." Demyx nodded. He got quiet once more, off in his own world. Xigbar swallowed, hoping he would get another piece of the puzzle.

"I had a monster." Demyx murmured. "But you made him go away. You defeated him...you made the hurt leave." He smiled. "Thank you, Xigbar." Xigbar held him tighter in response. One more piece. He knew the last piece was going to fall into place soon; now he just had to figure out where it fit.

"Demyx-" He began, but a knock on the door cut him off. He groaned. "Come in." He called, hearing the doorknob click and the door open. Lexaeus stood in the doorway for a moment, watching them both. He quirked an eyebrow at Xigbar, but said nothing, walking in.

"It's good to see you're both safe." He murmured. "I was worried." Demyx smiled.

"We're both fine, Lexaeus! Did something happen? Do you need us?" He asked, as bright and happy as he'd been before the mission. Lexaeus nodded.

"Actually, yes. There's a few questions I need to ask you about the mission, if you're up to it..." He said, trailing off as he observed them. Demyx stiffened, but with a look from Xigbar, he relaxed, smiling once more. "Demyx, if you're nervous, I can wait." Lexaeus reminded him. Demyx shook his head.

"No." He replied. "I know what I did wasn't bad or wrong. I protected Xigbar and that's all there is to it. I'm not ashamed." He said, eyes determined and jaw set. Lexaeus smiled.

"All right. Then there's just a few questions I have to ask...Vexen needs to know about that tugging sensation that you two and Xemnas and Saix keep feeling around each other. He's curious as to what it means and why it exists." He sat on the bed, tilting his head, deep in thought. "Can either of you tell me the triggers you felt before the tugging started?" Demyx tilted his head, confused.

"Triggers?" He asked. Lexaeus nodded.

"Triggers are the sort of situations or experiences that set off a reaction in you. For example, someone who has been abused before would react badly if triggered by a violent situation." He replied. Both of them noticed Demyx's small, fleeting shudder, but neither said a word as he nodded.

"Okay...then, um, I guess I'll go first." He sighed. "We were in the Corridor and walking through the darkness...and then I lost Xigbar. I got really scared and started to look for him, but I couldn't find him 'cause there was a ton of mist and I couldn't see. Then I heard him scream my name, and the pulsing started, but it wasn't until I found him when he was so vunerable and freaked out that I panicked...and...well, then it started to hurt." He murmured. Lexaeus raised his eyebrows, clearly interested.

"Go on, Demyx." He said. The blonde nodded, settling in on the bed and continuing his story.

"Well, what happened was...it felt like my chest was being torn from my body. It hurt like crazy, but it was...almost a good hurt. Like, it was bad, because Xigbar was hurting, but I was reacting to it, which felt good, 'cause we think we don't have hearts or something." Demyx finished. "So I was scared, but at least I could understand that I was scared." Lexaeus nodded.

"Xigbar, did you feel anything like that?" He asked. Xigbar nodded.

"Oh hell yeah. When I lost Demyx, I went nuts. I started calling his name, and when he didn't respond, I got that same pounding hurt. It really was like my chest was being torn open, and it hurt like crazy. I couldn't even move, it hurt so damn bad. That's when I screamed for him. It didn't immediately stop once I saw him, but it was like...almost like it faded into something sane. Something I could handle." He replied. Lexaeus nodded.

"All right. I understand. Now, this is the question I didn't want to ask, but it might be the true key to understanding this." He sighed. "What happened when the two of you saw the other injured?" Xigbar glanced at Demyx, and the subtle, silent communication between both of them was fast, and apparently decided something important. Xigbar spoke first.

"Right...so, Demyx was cornered because of what that pirate was doing; he wanted to mess with my head. He only made him bleed a bit...he barely put the sword against his neck, but not only was Demyx bleeding, he was terrified. The fear alone started the tugging, but what set it off was the blood." He shuddered.

"Jesus, Aeleus, it was like having my guts torn out. It left me empty for a moment, but once the rage hit, it hit _hard. _I went absolutely ripshit; put a goddamn bullet in his eye. Once we started fighting, it wasn't...like how I normally fought. It wasn't to win, but it was to make him pay. I wanted his blood spilled in return...no, wait, scratch that. I wanted him dead." Xigbar's eye narrowed. "So I wasn't as careful or measured as I normally am when I fight...it was all-out berserk mode. That's how he got a hit in on me." He nodded at Demyx, who had watched them both in silence the entire time.

"Um...well, before Xigbar got hurt...I was just really scared. It was a small cut, but it started to bleed a lot, and I could smell it...it was gross, and it freaked me out. Plus, being in that cave was starting to make me freak out and have a panic attack...I think it was one of those triggers you mentioned, Lexaeus..." He murmured. Lexaeus nodded.

"Most likely. Then what happened, Demyx?" He replied, almost unsure if he wanted to know. Demyx shivered.

"Well, then the pirate...he lashed out, and he hit Xigbar. The cut started to bleed a lot...and I...I...it was like someone reached in and turned my body off. I stopped thinking straight, and all I knew was that there was blood on the ground, and it was Xigbar's." He chewed his lip, deep in thought. "So I freaked...and that's when my mind started to refocus, but it was only on one thought." Lexaeus watched carefully as a faint tint of color spread across Demyx's cheeks.

"W-well, it was, um...that Xigbar was my heart. My heart was bleeding; they'd made Xigbar bleed. And that's when the hurting, tearing tugging started, and the rage part filled me. I sort of remember what I did...but not really. It was like that sensation had spread to my whole body, and all it was telling me to do was repay them for hurting Xigbar." He shuddered. "I knew it had to be done. Even as I was doing it, it scared me, but that feeling...that sensation was so strong, I knew I had to go against my fear and do it. It wasn't a question in my mind." He exhaled, face pale as he looked up at Lexaeus. "Is that enough?"

Lexaeus nodded. "More than enough, Demyx." He got up and went for the door, before he turned back and looked at him. "You were brave, Demyx. Brave beyond words. If nothing else, don't forget that." He murmured, closing the door behind him.

Xigbar and Demyx were left in silence for awhile. Demyx smiled, leaning against him suddenly and breaking the silence. "I really like him."


	23. Someone to Protect

(So, proving I trade in Mood Whiplash above all else, this chapter goes into cute Fruff and then into, well...

The XigDem arc is coming to an end. D: Well not for like four more chapters but STILL. And then onto the LuxXal. :3

I like to think that voice in his head is Peggy, if only because I was trying to write Xigbar and then realized how much it sounded like Peggy, (if she could talk.) Man, I love that sitar; she's like Dem's fag-hag...actually...

I HAD AN EPIPHANY IN AN AUTHOR'S NOTE WOO YAY

So yeah his sitar=yaoi fangirl. Plus she never leaves Demyx's side, so cockblock=imminent.

That is so getting written.

And Lexaeus basically takes care of both Vexen and Zexion, which makes an odd amount of sense; this is basically confirmed by canon, but then I take it and run with it far more than they probably intended. OHWELL LIVE AND LEARN.

Give a fangirl an inch and she'll think she's the ruler of a yaoi kingdom. Or something.

Annnd Axel and Saix are BFFs. What else is new? But I like the whole idea of the nonverbal communication between the two of them...it was kinda cute. :3

I figure I'll write more of it soon, if I can get them into another arc. If not, you can wait until the AkuRoku arc, yes? :3

And that's it! I hope you enjoy this new chapter! I'll see y'all for the next one~

Oh, and _**I'm gonna try to answer PMs today**_. Just so you know.

Don't own, yep.

Dedicated to everyone in the universe. :3)

* * *

Both of them passed out, exhausted beyond belief as the day passed them by. Xigbar was at peace, knowing Demyx was safe, and also, unbeknownst even to him, much lighter in spirit. Demyx's forgiveness had taken a weight off of his chest he hadn't even been aware he'd borne. It was really like flying this time, more so than walking on air had ever been.

As he stirred for a minute, he looked down at Demyx and sighed in relief. His face was peaceful and his breathing steady and slow. Xigbar cradled him closer, realizing just how much he liked being in this position. He couldn't help it; the closer he was to Demyx, the more he felt that steady, gentle thrum through his whole body.

Love? Nah, as if. But that didn't matter. It was something that was just as good, at least as good as they could get, being Nobodies. And if this half-awake holding, cradling Demyx on the edge of sleep, was all that Xigbar got, he was more than content with that.

With a small smirk still on his lips, Xigbar fell back asleep, holding Demyx even closer so the two could share that wonderful thrum of feeling.

* * *

Vexen had already scribbled some notes down on the subject, but even after what Xigbar and Demyx had told him, he was unsure of how it really worked. He sighed. Perhaps to truly understand it, he'd have to experience it for himself...but he had yet to feel that sensation with anyone else. To be honest, it was driving him mad. He didn't understand the true, proper cause of the sensation, and besides that, it wasn't even as if he could experiment on it, seeing as it was a mental reaction rather than a physical occurrence...

He stretched out, laying his head down on his arms. His mind was fuzzy and he was tired beyond reason. He had to stay up and try to research further, but he just couldn't make his arms move to push him up off the table...

His last thought before slipping into a deep, dreamless, sleep was, _damn it, I have work to do..._

_

* * *

_

Lexaeus headed down the stairs and into the lab, fighting back a smile as he balanced a tray with dinner on his arm. He set it down and observed the scene before him. Zexion had fallen asleep across the couch, books still in his hands as he slept with his hair obscuring almost his entire face, indigo strands fluttering slightly as he breathed. His normally meticulous coat was unzipped and spread across him like a blanket, the hood serving as a makeshift pillow.

Vexen had apparently tried his best to stay awake and work, evidenced by the open book in front of him, the bottles and tubes arranged across the desk, and the fact that he was still clutching a pencil as he lay there. His hair was still pulled back, but a few strands had come loose as he'd fallen asleep. Lexaeus winced. Sleeping like that was bound to make his neck ache like mad once he woke up...he'd have to put him to bed.

For all his strength, Lexaeus knew exactly when to be delicate with his gestures. He picked Vexen up, knowing the other scientist could sleep through a nuclear war if he wanted. He shouldered him and supported his weight best as he could, sighing in annoyance as he noticed he could feel Vexen's ribs digging into his shoulder. He'd have to find a bit of chocolate around the castle; it had been Even's biggest weakness, and Vexen hadn't changed in the slightest.

He opened one of the other doors in the lab, heading into Vexen's room. It was spacious and dark, but the endless reams of paper covered in equations and sketches made it seem almost cozy, in an intellectual sort of way. Lexaeus smiled, reaching for the light. The soft glow made the room seem a lot less lonely, and it brightened up the way through the maze of paper, books, and files enough for Lexaeus to navigate his way through them and reach the bed. He made a soft tsk-ing sound with his tongue, setting Vexen down on the bed and taking his shoes off for him, tossing them aside and pulling the blankets up over him.

"Even, the next thing on your to-do list better be cleaning this room." He teased, knowing full well the other scientist couldn't hear him. Lexaeus brushed some hair away from his forehead and grasped his hand for a minute, squeezing it gently before disappearing into a swirl of darkness, returning back to the lab. He looked back at Zexion, still asleep and peaceful as he clutched a book like a doll, and sighed in amusement, picking up Vexen's pencil and turning to his notes, more than ready to work and watch over his two charges.

* * *

The day passed without major event, everyone in the castle finding their own peace and comfort. Missions were over and night had fallen, leaving Xaldin, Axel, Saix, and Xemnas to their own devices. Xemnas and Xaldin had retired to the library for awhile; Saix and Axel had decided to practice with their powers and weapons outside, breaking in the battlefield outside the castle.

Time passed through the night, and it was only when Saix realized that Xemnas was calling his name that he and Axel stopped in their sparring and realized it would be around three in the morning in a normal world. Axel gave him a pointed look; Saix shot him a glare, tugging on a strand of his hair. The two watched each other for a minute before Axel rolled his eyes, pushing him towards the door and pointing to the stairs. Saix simply smiled.

Xemnas stifled a yawn, balancing two mugs of hot chocolate on a small tray as he opened the bedroom door to let them both in. Saix settled into bed with a yawn, watching Xemnas undress and join him, handing him his mug of hot chocolate, (spiced with cinnamon and nutmeg, which Saix made a note of for later, if he ever wished to make his master something he would enjoy), as Xemnas sank back against the pillows.

"Saix, what were you and Axel talking about?" He asked, the thought occurring to him as he remembered the odd conversation that had passed between the two a few minutes ago. Saix couldn't help but smile.

"Nothing, my master." He murmured.

* * *

Demyx was the first one to wake up the next morning; considering Xaldin, Xemnas, Axel, and Saix had all stayed up until around three in the morning and Zexion, Lexaeus, and Vexen were catching up on sleep they'd treated as an optional function for about three weeks or so, he was the only one besides Xigbar that wouldn't be exhausted at this hour.

He winced. Something had been in his dreams last night. Something bad, something that was itching at him and hurting him. It wasn't Xigbar. He had wanted to dream about Xigbar, but something else had gotten in the way. Something...bad.

It hit Demyx suddenly; he hadn't been working. For two weeks now he hadn't cleaned or cooked or done anything, and he was turning into a lazy, selfish brat. His eyes widened and filled with tears as he pushed himself off the bed, making sure Xigbar was still asleep before he left the room.

He wasn't sure why he felt so afraid, except that each time as he turned a corner, heading down another hallway, his stomach continued to twist itself into further knots, like there was a monster waiting around the corner or behind one of the doors, a monster that would eat him alive if he didn't get over himself and stop being so _useless-_

_(You're worthless, Myde! Fucking worthless! How the fuck can they treat you like you're a special little angel! You know and I know you're just a spoiled fucking brat!) _Demyx was openly sobbing now, leaning against one of the walls and nodding in agreement.

"I know," he moaned, voice low and thick with tears, "I know, I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...I'll go work, I will..." He tried to get up, but another, different voice interrupted his thoughts.

_You know that's not true, Myde. _It whispered to him softly, sounding so much like someone he knew but couldn't remember, someone whose voice was able to reach past the Big-Brother voice, but there was no one who could do that, no one-

_Myde. You know that's not true. _It repeated. _You're home here. You're not a slave anymore. Go back to bed, Myde. He's waiting for you. You don't have to be frightened anymore. You're not worthless, Myde. _Demyx shook his head.

"That's not for you to decide." He replied. The voice fell silent, and Demyx rejoiced at the quiet, finally being able to go repent for being so spoiled and selfish without any doubts. It only took him a few minutes to forget that voice had ever even spoken, and whose voice it truly was remained far back in the corners of his thoughts.


	24. Cleaning

(Seriously, good fucking hell, I am beyond monstrous to this child. I mean, I know every time I say that, it seems to lose its' impact, but dear god in heaven, I just keep hammering it in over and over.

He gets a happy ending though. I follow the Don Bluth school of thought; "Kids can handle some of the most dark and dreary concepts if they are promised a happy ending." God, that sums up...uh, everything I've ever written, to a degree. Oops.

Imagining Axel as John Wayne in the last scene is more hilarious than it has a right to be. It takes away from the emotional trauma repercussions of the rest of this chapter, at least a bit. (Read: not at all this chapter is horrible and depressing and dear god in heaven the tears they will pour like rivers of sadness and pouring)

Annnd so that's um it. :3 I hope you guys like this new chapter!

Dedicated to everyone who has ever had to deal with being made to feel like they are "less than" whatever standard by someone else. They're wrong, and I promise you, you're perfect as you are. Please, don't let anyone ever bring you down; there is always someone who loves you, I promise. Everything will work out, I swear.)

* * *

Demyx was grateful now for his power over water; it made cleaning so much easier. He kept the buckets full of the lye and chemicals, making sure they weren't mixed with any water before he buried his hands in them and began to scrub.

The castle was huge; even just one hallway would take him hours. But that was good. It would mean he wasn't being selfish or spoiled. He wouldn't be worthless. He'd stop being a brat, get over himself, and remember his place again.

Xigbar slept on, unaware that Demyx was working his hands raw on the hallway just above their room.

Hours passed; Demyx wasn't sure how many. He had finished the second floor and already moved on to the third floor, knowing he couldn't do the first floor where the Hall of Empty Melodies was. He would be too tempted to sit and remember how he and Xigbar had danced, and he wouldn't work any more.

He kept cleaning, refusing to use his power over water anymore. He'd relied on it too much as it was, and if he kept it up, he'd just get lazy again. He scrubbed the floors with harsh, slashing strokes, only pausing in his motions to remember he had to cook breakfast too; probably dinner, and he'd try to find something for lunch for everyone...

He realized he was trembling with hunger now, but he shook his head. No. Wouldn't eat until he'd made food for everyone else. Wouldn't get selfish, either. Had to keep working.

Demyx didn't even notice that as he moved on to the fourth floor, his hands had begun to bleed. He was vaguely aware of a screaming agony each time he dipped the rags into the lye, but he didn't care. It wasn't important, and it would only distract him from his work.

* * *

Xigbar stretched, yawning loudly as he sat up in bed. It only took him an instant to realize that Demyx wasn't in bed. He groaned. He figured Demyx had gone to explore the castle, or even on a mission; he hadn't gotten to really look around the castle much, and his kitten was curious by nature, so he wouldn't worry too much. All the same, he mused, as he stood up to get dressed, he had to wonder why Demyx hadn't left a note...

He headed downstairs for lunch; no one had woken up before two in the afternoon in the castle, and they'd unanimously shunned breakfast, skipping straight to raiding the fridge with no regrets. Xigbar groaned, rifling through the remains. They had no food again, damn it. Maybe he'd take Demyx grocery shopping with him...he wasn't entirely sure what his kitten really liked to eat, and Xigbar wanted to be able to treat him to whatever he liked best, just to see him smile. Xigbar grinned.

Christ, he was really in love with this kid. He couldn't help it; Demyx was like a firefly in the darkness, glowing with such bright determination that he outshone even Kingdom Hearts, that glowing moon still hanging in the sky to remind them what they were fighting for.

Now in a much lighter mood, Xigbar went to the library to look up a few books on how to prepare cakes properly; he had a feeling Demyx would have a weakness for strawberry shortcake, and besides, it was always worth knowing a few random subjects, just in case cake-baking ever came up in a life-or-death situation.

He was laughing as he walked down the hallway, blissfully unaware of the blood being spilled across the floors right above him.

* * *

Demyx realized that he had reached the eighth floor already; thankfully, there were only five more floors to go upstairs before he had to start on the rooms...there were so many, but that was okay. Plus, he had to remember the labs and the catacombs in the basement...

With a small sigh, Demyx continued, keeping up a chant of _worthless spoiled stupid brat _whenever it seemed like he was going to falter.

He didn't hear the others downstairs, and even if he had, he wouldn't have paid it heed. He didn't think that it would matter much if he went missing...he doubted they'd care, or maybe they'd even be happy that the lazy, spoiled rotten little bitch was finally working again.

* * *

"Where the fuck is Demyx?" Axel snarled, storming into the library with Saix at his side. Saix sighed, but there was a worried expression across his face as he nodded in agreement.

"What Lea said." He murmured. "Have you seen him, Xigbar?" Xigbar raised an eyebrow, snapping his book shut and turning to Axel.

"Hey, Ax, puppy. What's the big deal? I haven't seen him, but I'm pretty sure he probably went to explore the castle; he hasn't had the time lately, and I'm sure he really wants to look around." He didn't tell them how worried he was getting over Demyx not having left a note or even woken him up, but they seemed to catch the worry on his face.

"Xigbar, I know you've been in here reading, so you probably lost yourself in the book, but it's been almost six hours now since we all woke up. My master and the others have returned from their missions, and they are starting to worry as well. He wasn't in any of the worlds with us, and Zexion can smell him in the castle, but he can't pinpoint where he is...we're not sure why. It's as if he's entirely changed personas, according to Zexion himself." Saix murmured, seeing Xigbar's expression change from worry to shock.

"Myde." He whispered. The other two Nobodies watched him, confused.

"Myde?" Axel asked. "That's got to be Dem's Somebody, right?" Xigbar nodded, standing up and slamming his book down on the table. He realized his hands were shaking now, and he realized he was going to have to call a meeting.

"C'mon, you two. We're hauling ass to the meeting room, like, now. It's urgent." He snapped, disappearing in a swirl of darkness before either Saix or Axel could react. The two friends shared a worried glance before following suit, portaling away into the Place Where Nothing Gathers.

Xigbar whistled, slamming his palm against the arm of his throne. It was a harsh, urgent summons, but he didn't care, lost in his own fears as he saw the others appearing, settling into their own chairs and looking up at him, confused.

"Braig, what is the meaning of this?" Xemnas asked. "It's not like you to send a summons for a meeting." Xigbar shook his head.

"I know it's not. But this is damn important, so listen to what I have to say." He ordered. Even Xemnas kept his eyes on him; Xigbar wasn't the leader of the Organization, but he was one of the eldest Apprentices, second only to Even, and he was like a second mentor to them all. Xigbar sighed, burying his hands in his hair.

"Okay, so as I promised, I've been trying to weasel the truth out of Demyx's psyche about what happened to him, with varying degrees of success. Sometimes I've gotten little pieces, sometimes I'm just denied. I haven't gotten the whole truth, but from what I do know..." He bit his lip, unsure of how to put it.

"Well, his Somebody was Myde. And something happened to Myde, something god-awful. He had a panic attack in those caves, so I'm assuming it had something to do with a cave of some sort...and he called someone a monster, but I'm not even sure if he knew he did; he did the same sort of thing when he told me Myde died down in the cave, so I'm thinking it's like he wants to tell me, but there's just something keeping him from really letting go. I don't know what actually happened to him, and I've been doing my damn best to get the truth out of him, but he just won't speak." Xigbar shuddered.

"Christ, I just...it's like watching him, and I know something's wrong, but he won't tell me. And the part of me that has that placebo heart...that part of me knows, and it's just like a constant ache. I don't know how to get it out of him, and now it seems like another part of whatever happened to him has resurfaced in his mind. I think that's why he's gone; something happened, and he reacted to whatever that something did to Myde." He had to be completely honest; these were his brothers, his friends. "I'm scared shitless right now, completely out of my fucking mind. Something is wrong, and I'm not sure how much more I can do alone." He murmured.

There was silence in the throne room for a moment. Then Axel smirked.

"Well, good thing you're not doing it alone anymore." He said, jumping down from his throne and clapping his hands together, beckoning to them all. "Suit up and saddle out, bitches, we're gonna go hunt ourselves down a Demyx." He breezed out of the throne room, not even considering they wouldn't follow.

They all stared at the open door for a few moments. Saix sighed.

"Forgive him; he does that a lot." Saix muttered.


	25. Battleground

(I am so very, very mean to this child. So very, very, very mean. :(

I do bad things to my characters. The most extreme case of this is when I attempted to archive all the things that made Senayax a woobie, and it took up FIVE PARAGRAPHS. FIVE.

Seriously, five freaking VERY LONG paragraphs. You know something? I think I am a closet sadist or something. OHWELL IT WRITES NOVELS.

Also, which I have not mentioned but alluded to; lye is a corrugative substance. As in, his hands are basically getting dipped in slightly diluted acid; side effects of lye include burns, sores, and other assorted nasties.

Man, good thing there's always a Cura or Hi-Potion handy. WHO NEEDS MEDICAL SCIENCE

WE HAVE WHITE MAGIC

Sssssyeah Xigbar is _pissed. _He is uber-possessive and waaay waaay waaaaay overprotective. And he is also very good at killing. And he means everything he says about what he'd do.

This is almost done, and honestly, it could have been longer and the torture would be over and then there would be fluff but I guess I just like making y'all suffer. :D

Yeah I'm a bad person. AND YOU LOVE IT.

But even I am crying over DemDems. Heh. ^^; And I know how it ends!

Errr that's it, I think. Quick note though; I love y'all! Thank you so so so so SO much for reading this and FtM! In the Name of the Moon, I thank you. :3

(Get the ref and I love you.)

I don't own the ref and I don't own KH.

Dedicated to my childhood, because it was both glorious, horrifying, and totally freaking awesome, depending on the day, and made me who I am, for better or worse.)

* * *

Demyx realized he couldn't see straight anymore as he stood up to finally reach the thirteenth floor. He tried to shake it off, but he could barely stand, let alone walk; plus, he was starting to see spots around the corners of his eyes and feel a shivering heat overtake him. He'd have to teleport.

Laziness. Lazy little _bitch. _He'd have to pay for it when he cleaned the next floor. He'd do it with his hands; using the rag was too easy, making his task something any lazy little bitch could do.

He crawled over to the portal, laying down within the darkness as it carried him up to the thirteenth floor.

The other members of the Organization had headed to the third floor right away, hoping he would just be in someone's room. No such luck; all of the rooms were empty.

Xigbar headed into Demyx's room again, noting with dark amusement that at this point he probably knew it better than his own room. He found Peggy on the bed, humming a soft dirge to herself.

"Hey, Peggy," he murmured, not even finding it strange at this point that he was talking to a semisentinent sitar, "we need you. Demyx is missing. We're searching for him, and we can't find him...but I think you might be able to. Arpeggio, we need you."

He noted with shock that it was like he'd said some magic word. She glowed dark blue before bursting into a cloud of bubbles, settling into his hand an instant later. He shook off the shock and smiled. "Thanks, Peggy. We're going to find him, don't you worry."

He followed after Xemnas, going to search up on the next floor.

* * *

Demyx crawled out of the portal, slamming his hands into the bucket and rubbing them into the floor, not even noticing that the blood was mixing with the lye and dripping across the marble in small, bright red rivers. All he knew was that nothing would stay clean, and it was _all his fault_.

"STAY CLEAN!" He screamed. "KEEP FUCKING CLEANING, YOU LAZY LITTLE FUCKING _BITCH_!" He roared, slamming his hands into the lye mix and scrabbling at the floor. He could feel tears and sweat trailing down his face and into his eyes, stinging them; he welcomed the pain, let it make an instrument of his body, make him more useful than he could be as just Demyx.

He was slashing at the floor now, hands soaked with chemicals as he tried to scrub it clean, not realizing what the dark red stains on the floor were. It was all his fault that this floor wouldn't stay clean. All his fault. Wouldn't stay clean, he couldn't clean it right because he was just so fucking useless, so damn worthless, why did he even exist why did they treat him like he was a real human being why why why

"_**DEMYX**__!" _Xigbar's pained roar resounded through the castle, but Demyx didn't hear it. He had already passed out on the bloodstained floor, trembling in fear and awaiting his punishment.

* * *

The members of Organization XIII stood in front of the hallway in horror. They'd all seen their fair share of carnage, but nothing that was so personal, nothing that chilled them to the bone quite like this scene did.

The hall was coated in bloodstained handprints, some faded and watery, others tacky and clear as day. If they weren't handprints, they were scuffed boot-marks, some of which seemed to indicate the wearer had stumbled and spilled more blood on the floor, evidenced by the pools and large swathes of slowly coagulating blood that laid upon the floor like haphazard gruesome stains on a canvas.

Fingerprints were occasionally marked upon the walls, tiny little smears that looked almost like eyes scattered on the formerly pristine white surfaces. They glared in hideous crimson at the others, accusative and hateful.

Zexion had his hand clamped over his nose and mouth, looking like he was trying not to vomit. Even to the others, who didn't have the same sense of smell that he did, the whole place reeked of blood and lye. They all simply surveyed the scene, trying to take it all in.

The doors were occasionally dotted with the blood, but most of it was on the floor, except for when it seemed like it had reached the stairs, where it left a gruesome trail on the steps. They didn't want to go up there, but they knew they had to, even knowing that most likely, more blood awaited them on the next floor.

They were all silent for a long time, unsure of what to make of the situation.

"_Who the fuck did this." _Xigbar spoke suddenly, startling them all out of their thoughts. His voice was filled with such fury and hatred that they all immediately suppressed a shiver. "_Who the fuck touched him." _He knelt on the floor, pressing a gentle hand against one of the bloodstains.

"I'll murder them." He cooed, his hands clenching the marble floor so tight that it cracked under the pressure. The former Apprentices froze. They recognized that tone. It was the tone that Braig took when he changed from Braig the Apprentice to Braig the warrior, Braig the monster, Braig the murderer.

"I'll make their guts sing." He murmured. "I'll paint the walls with their blood, I'll pull their intestines out loop by fucking loop, I'll flay them alive and make them eat their own fucking skin, _I will turn this whole castle into a fucking battleground the second I find out who hurt MY DEMYX!" _He roared, standing up and summoning Sharpshooter, bullets rattling as he tore his way up the steps, darkness swirling around him in snapping, curling spirals.

The others stood there, unsure of what to say to one another. Xigbar had, quite honestly, scared them into mute shock.

"How do we tell him that the one who hurt Demyx just might be Demyx himself?" Saix whispered, asking the question they'd all been thinking. Xemnas shuddered.

"I don't know." He murmured.


	26. Grief

(On the heels of a very, _very _depressing FtM chapter, I figure you needed this. Love me. :3

So yeah, eh...h/c fetish much? xDx

Ohwell. GO XIGBAR GO!

Demyx needs a hug really, really badly right now. Everyone just needs a hug. God.

Don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Dedicated to the power of hugs.)

* * *

The blood kept on trailing. Every step Xigbar took left him confronting another bloody handprint, a smear on the floor, and the overpowering stench of congealing blood and chemicals. The rage was mixing with the pulsing now, and all he could focus on was the blood, that stench, the rotten tacky feel of the blood on his feet, the chemicals burning his skin, the blood on the stairs the floor the hall blood EVERYWHERE and he was going to murder them all leave no one alive the battleground starts now all for him all for Demyx Demyx _Demyx_

He realized he was on the twelfth floor. With a start, he looked up at the last set of steps. He knew Demyx had to be up there. He was going to get Demyx. He was going to save Demyx. He was going to hold Demyx in his arms and hug him and tell him everything would be okay and kiss him until this hateful vicious inferno of rage stopped boiling and hissing in his chest.

He climbed the last set of stairs quietly, carefully, pace measured as he walked upon the air so as not to make a sound on the cold marble steps. He barely breathed, instincts sharp as he drew Sharpshooter and prepared to slaughter.

He opened the door and bile immediately rose in his throat.

Demyx lay on the floor, a trail of blood in his wake that led up to his hands, which were open and raw and oozing blood sluggishly through torn apart and ragged skin. His skin was flushed and coated at some points with his own blood; his hair was soaked in the tacky substance and chemicals both, coloring his hair an odd shade of light, delicate flowering red. His eyes were bloodshot and his breathing was shallow as he trembled in obvious fear and pain.

Xigbar dropped to his knees, unable to stand as the pain resounded within his own body once Demyx's own self melded with his, as his body began to throb and he heard Peggy's strings tremble in what sounded hideously like a scream.

He crawled over to Demyx, laying down beside him and pulling him into his arms. "Demyx." He whispered. "Oh Christ, Demyx."

Demyx stirred in his arms and looked up at him, body still trembling. "Xiggy?" He murmured. "Xiggy, it's not clean. H-have to punish me..." He spread his legs, pushing Xigbar up slightly, even though he could barely summon the strength to move. "B-bite down. B-between my legs, I mean. No one will look there. No one will want me there...selfish...spoiled...l-lazy little b-bitch..."

Xigbar had been frozen in his horror throughout Demyx's speech. But now something inside him had snapped.

He stood up, yanking Demyx to his feet and picking him up, pinning him against the wall. "_WHO THE FUCK DID THIS TO YOU, DEMYX!" _He roared. "_TELL ME RIGHT NOW, DAMN IT! WHO HURT YOU? __**WHO HURT YOU**_?" His voice had cracked as he'd screamed, leaving his throat protesting in agony as he held Demyx.

"It's not clean, Xiggy!" Demyx wailed, shaking his head, evidently not comprehending the question, lost in his own world. "It's not clean! I didn't do it right! Xiggy, let me go! I have to clean it up, Xigbar! Please! Please let me go, I have to finish it, I didn't do a good job! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"YOU'RE FUCKING _SORRY!" _Xigbar screamed. "YOU ARE NOT FUCKING APOLOGIZING FOR _ANYTHING_!" His voice dropped and became cold as ice.

"Your hands are fucking raw. Your blood is drying on the floor. You are bleeding right now. You are not going to apologize. You are going to let me take you into the bathroom, clean you off, bandage your wounds, and put you back in your bed. And then you are going to tell me why the fuck you thought it was necessary to work yourself, quite literally, to the fucking bone. Now." He said.

He tossed Demyx over his shoulder, balancing Peggy in one hand and Sharpshooter on his hip as he portaled away into the darkness, not giving Demyx even a second to protest.

He was done playing games. He was done waiting. The truth was going to come out, because Xigbar wasn't sure if he could take seeing something like that ever again.

* * *

He slammed the bathroom door shut and locked it, sending a message through the darkness that Demyx was alright, he was taking care of him, and he'd give them the details later.

Xigbar stormed over to the tub and twisted the handles, practically yanking them off as he let hot water gush through the taps. He dumped soap in the bath as well, letting bubbles foam across the surface, making sure it was filled almost to overflowing before he turned it off.

"Demyx, you're getting in this tub." He snapped. "One way or another. So either get undressed yourself, because no matter how pissed off I am right now, I would sooner die than make you feel that kind of terror if I didn't have to, or so help me, I will tear your clothes off and drag you in myself."

He waited, hearing the soft hushing sound of leather falling onto the ceramic tiles. Demyx was still dripping blood from his hands and knees as he sank into the water. It glowed softly, his attribute responding to him as it rushed gently over his body, swirling around him with anxious, almost frightened caresses.

Xigbar took his coat off and kicked off his boots, keeping his pants on, not caring they'd most likely be ruined as he got in the tub. Demyx watched him step in and held up a hand.

"N-no." He whispered. "D-don't c-care if you're in w-with me, like, you know...like that. Don't want you t-to ruin those pants...they feel too much like you. I just like t-touching them, you know?" He murmured. Xigbar watched him for a moment before stepping back out and unzipping his pants, undoing his hair and letting it trail down his back. Demyx looked away, bowing his head to hide a blush. Xigbar stepped in the tub and sighed in relief, watching Demyx relax.

His temper had calmed slightly, but he was still about an inch away from exploding again. He had to find something else to focus on. He reached for the soap and felt the cool gel spill into his hands. Demyx watched him; not wary or frightened, just curious. "You're not going to be able to wash yourself off." Xigbar murmured. "Not with your hands like that."

Demyx nodded, silently agreeing with him. Xigbar sighed. "I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to, Dem. But I just can't stand seeing all this goddamned blood. I just need to wash it off...get it off of you, make sure you're not...hurting anymore." His words were jumbled now, and he was unsure of what he really wanted to do, but Demyx seemed to understand. But something was still making him hesitate.

"I just...um..." He mumbled, shifting slightly where he sat. Xigbar raised an eyebrow.

"Embarrassed?" He teased, hoping it would make Demyx at least smile. It seemed to backfire on him; Demyx was nodding now, head low and shoulders hunched. He looked so pitiful and pained that it wore the already small, frayed leash on Xigbar's temper incredibly thin.

"Kitten." He murmured, trying to stay calm. "Whatever it is, I'm not going to be angry at you. Just try to get up, okay?" He whispered.

Demyx listened and obeyed. Once he'd taken a look at Demyx's body, Xigbar almost wished he hadn't.

His thighs, neck, and ankles were a horrific mess of scars. The insides of his thighs were marked with angry red slashes that looked like the tattered sort of wounds a bite would leave behind, and there were occasional burn scars interspersed throughout. His neck wasn't as bad, but there was one scar right on the back of his neck that was knotted, ropy, and pale against his tan skin. It almost seemed to throb with pain even now, and it disturbed Xigbar beyond reason. His ankles were dotted with burn scars, but thankfully the damage upon them was minimal in comparison.

Xigbar had seen scars and wounds before, but these were just so meticulous, so obviously well-thought out and planned that he could only imagine that horrific waiting that Myde must have done while he sat and waited for punishment, knowing exactly what was coming and having that punishment taking its' sweet time for deliverance. He felt bile rising in his throat again as he watched Demyx standing in front of him, shivering in the cold air.

"Is it bad, Xiggy?" Demyx whispered. "I didn't mean to scare you." Xigbar shook his head, a small, dry laugh escaping past his lips.

"As if." He whispered, voice hushed and hoarse. "I'm not scared of you, Demyx. Right now, I'm very, very frightened that the last frayed strand of control keeping my temper back is going to snap, and I am going to find whoever hurt you and murder them in whatever gruesome way I can design during the time it takes me to hunt them down like a fucking animal."

Demyx watched him for a moment, eyes wide. After another agonizingly long moment, he reached out and traced the scar on Xigbar's cheek. He leaned in and kissed it before pulling away and shaking his head.

"Please don't." He whispered. "When you get angry, I get so scared. He's long gone, Xigbar. I'm still here. Please don't try to kill someone...I don't need a slaughter. I need help. I need _you._ Please."

Xigbar suddenly yanked him close, burying his face into his hair and sobbing in relief. Demyx relaxed immediately and smiled at his touch, which had gone from restrained and controlled to open and gentle.

"God yes," he gasped, holding him steady as he began to wash the blood away from his back, "god yes, Demyx. Anything for you. Anything." Demyx moaned, feeling the water rushing between the both of them with a grateful sigh of relief as he wound his arms around Xigbar's neck and stroked his hair.

"Thank you, angel." He murmured.


	27. Lovesmug

(Hi! It's six in the morning and I have insomnia!

It's not very fun!

Like seriously, christ why won't you let me sleep why D:

Okay so I think this totally borders on porn I dunno. If I give you a hurt/comfort fetish I am soooo sorry because I think I may have actually made mine writing this OOPS.

Ehhh I can't even say I'm like semi-coherent right now I WENT ON AN ICON BINGE LAST NIGHT

Quick complaint; why the fuck can any of the female Final Fantasy leads NOT have solo pictures? If I try to find a Yuna icon, because her beauty is unparalleled and stuff, Tidus is always getting in my way. Same with Rinoa and Squall being there...because he's Squall? Whatever. And Tifa sort-of escapes this treatment, (mostly because of the massive amount of yaoi in the FFVII fandom), but it's still there. Also WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY KEFKA ICONS

Actually, where are my "heroines/heroes before FFVII" icons AT ALL. I could go on for HOURS. Gosh.

See I told you I ramble. But yeah moral of the story is that...ehhh, I got nothin'. Actually, wait; that even in video games, which should be free of the limits of our own often discriminatory society with its' heteronormative values and general obsessive devotion with romance, there is always beautiful straight romance with pretty (mostly) white people forever and ever, amen. Plus the fact that even the HEROES of the story, (you cannot convince me Yuna is not the hero of FFX. Don't even try), don't even get the fucking credit, I just...GOD.

So yeah, I don't even know anymore. And all of that rant above? It started with icons. Oh internet.

BACK TO THE STORY

PEGGY IS A YAOI FANGIRL canon now yesss also I get this image of a really smug look on her face, which I just think of Spongebob when he caught Squidward binging on Krabby Patties and SERIOUSLY I need to go back to bed but my mind won't let me yet D:

(shutup I liked Spongebob.)

I think Xemnas saw Xigbar off on many battlegrounds way before the events of this story came along. It makes sense that they'd have some sort of ritual. So that could be interpreted as darker. Take it as you will.

Demyx is still adorable. God.

Don't own KH.

Two dedications this time. One; RIZA YOU'RE MOVING HERE OMFG

Two...Dub, I love you so much. It'll all work out. :3)

* * *

Xigbar sat Demyx down and grabbed a washcloth, starting on his knees. He knelt and wiped the blood away gently, taking note of the open wounds to figure out how many bandages he'd have to get from Vexen. He washed off the blood that had trickled its' way down his calves, noting how the water rushed up to help him soak it off and cleanse his skin. Xigbar grinned. That was what being part of your attribute was like...the water, even though it lacked thought and consciousness, still responded to Demyx's pain. He sent a small thank-you towards the water as he started on Demyx's chest, leaving the scar tissue on his thighs alone for the time being.

Demyx was sighing softly, his breathing trying to return to normal as he felt Xigbar's arm around his waist, holding him steady. "Your hair is soaked with blood, kitten." He murmured. "Close your eyes, will you? I don't want to get any soap in your eyes." Demyx nodded, squeezing his eyes shut as Xigbar soaked his hair and snatched up the bottle of conditioner, running it through his hair and making sure it was thoroughly soaked into his hair and skin before he rinsed it, watching the blood drip down with a grim sort of satisfaction.

He wiped the washcloth over his eyes, making sure Demyx didn't have any traces of the bloodied water on his face before he murmured, "You can open your eyes, Dem." Demyx did, blinking at the sudden light before trying to sit back down on the tile. Xigbar held him firm, shaking his head. "Uh-uh, kitten. We're not done yet." Demyx pouted, but he leaned against Xigbar as he ran the washcloth down his back, wincing as he felt the rough scar tissue under his touch. Demyx was trembling in his grasp at this point, and Xigbar admitted with amusement that he really had to give his poor kitten a break before he fainted.

"I think you're good, Dem." Xigbar told him. "Just go under the water for me, all right? Use it to get rid of the last of the blood, okay?" Demyx nodded, sliding down under the water with a small sigh of relief. Xigbar noted that he had a massive blush across his cheeks as he went under, and he shook his head in amusement, trying not to laugh as he stepped out of the bath and grabbed towels for both of them.

He heard the small rush of water as Demyx stood up, dripping with water as he walked out of the tub, accepting the towel gratefully as Xigbar wrapped it around him, picking him up and holding him in his arms. Demyx tried to protest, but Xigbar shook his head. "Uh-uh, Dem. You're not doing a damn thing with your hands and knees like that." He said, watching Demyx pout at him before he sighed, giving up and snuggling into his grasp as the darkness overtook them both.

* * *

Xigbar laid him down on the bed, turning back to his closet and pulling out a pair of pajamas. "Do you sleep shirtless, Dem?" He asked. He was amused by the reaction he got; a soft squeak of surprise as Demyx tried to sit up in bed. His eyes were wide and his cheeks were flushed again as he tried to hide under the blanket before giving up and burying his face into the pillow. Xigbar held up the sky blue pants and shrugged. "Honest question, kitten. Got to make sure I have everything for you." Demyx made some sort of strangled mewing noise as Xigbar fought a smile down with all his might.

"U-uh, I, I, uh, I just, um, well, sure. Yes. I do. Sometimes." He said, before flaring up again. Xigbar was fighting a very fierce battle to keep from laughing until he hurt, so he just nodded as Demyx frantically backpedaled. "I mean, um, Xiggy, you shouldn't worry, because I just, uh, maybe just a shirt, yeah, one of those big ones in the drawer, because, um..." He shivered. "Th-the scars still hurt sometimes, so I try not to put too much pressure on them."

Xigbar nodded, setting the pants down and rifling through the drawer before he found a ridiculously baggy and long white shirt with small ocean waves and fish on it. He tried not to smile as he felt Demyx glaring at him from his bed. "Hush, I thought it was cute." Xigbar shook his head, standing up straight and setting it down on the bed. He tapped Demyx's hips, watching him tense for a moment before he relaxed with a small purr.

"I'll talk to Vexen and see if we have anything for your scars. Okay?" He murmured. Demyx nodded. Xigbar smiled in relief. "Good. Now stand up." Demyx tilted his head, confused. Xigbar quickly answered the inevitable question. "You can barely use your hands, and I don't want any of those wounds re-opening. Did you think you could put your clothes on with your feet?" He teased. Demyx managed a soft giggle.

"Kay..." He whispered, smiling shyly up at Xigbar. Xigbar fought down a shiver of delight as Demyx stood up, sweet and shy, completely pure and innocent beyond reason. He groaned. Gods above, how was he going to do this without pouncing on the poor kid and ravishing him senseless?

He steeled himself, reminding his libido that Demyx was his, and there would be all the time in the world to take him and claim him once he'd healed him properly. Xigbar finally beckoned Demyx close, letting the blonde lean against his chest as Xigbar lifted the shirt up and pulled it down gently over him, guiding his hands so they didn't rub against the cloth too much before he tugged it down, trying not to laugh as he saw it practically reached Demyx's knees.

"Make sure you don't trip, kitten." He teased. Demyx rolled his eyes and huffed indignantly as Xigbar finally let himself roar with laughter, picking Demyx up and carrying him over to the bed, settling him down under the covers and pulling them up around him with a gentle hand as he set Peggy down beside him.

"Arpeggio, you listen up." He said, hearing her strings tense and twang. "If Demyx tries to get out of bed for whatever reason while I'm gone, you are going to hum up a storm so loud the dead will hear you. Understand?" Demyx looked like he wanted to protest, but Peggy had already hummed an agreement. Demyx looked at her in shock.

"_Arpeggio,_ you _traitor_!" He yelped, glaring at his sitar. Peggy hummed; the strings sounded bubbly and giggly, almost like she was laughing. Xigbar smirked, leaving the two of them to quibble as he disappeared into the darkness.

* * *

Once he appeared in the lab, he was immediately cornered by everyone; even Axel and Saix, who had probably gotten themselves lost on the way down, considering how complex the stairs and catacombs could be. Xigbar winced, feeling their eyes on him and anxiousness pouring off of them all in waves. "Lovely welcoming committee." He muttered.

"Cut the chit-chat, Xig. What happened to Demyx?" Axel snapped. Xigbar winced.

"Do the words 'worked his hands to bleeding wrecks and burned them with chemicals alongside starving himself for the entire day, PLUS attempting to clean all the top floors of the castle in what appears to be his own fucking_ blood' _mean anything to you?" He replied.

Everyone fell silent. The room felt more and more like a morgue as Xigbar's mood got colder and deadlier. He paced the room, snatching up bandages and medicine before he whipped around to face them. "What I saw was the long-term scars of systematic abuse. I don't know _who_ did it. I don't _care_ why they did. I _do_ care about getting the story from Demyx, which is my duty. He's _mine_, and it's my right." He watched them all, daring them to challenge his claim. No one did; they were still staring at him, horrified. He sighed.

"But _we're_ his family, so your duty is to support him. I'm not that selfish." He smirked, watching them brighten up slightly. "However, I have to get that story out of him. I need..." He shuddered. "I have to fight this fight one more time. I have to step on this last battleground, and after all I've done and all I've seen from this kid, I wouldn't do it again unless it was to save him. This is for him and only him." He murmured. Xemnas nodded.

"Go with luck, Braig." He murmured. The look in both of their eyes and the glance they shared was so familiar and so practiced that they almost smiled. Xigbar saluted him, leaving the lab.

"I don't need luck, Xehanort." He replied. "I need a gift from god."

* * *

Demyx sighed, hugging Peggy tight. "I'm so sorry I ruined my hands, Peg." He murmured. "I promise we'll play together again as soon as they get healed." Peggy's strings rippled comfortingly as she vibrated slightly in his arms. He smiled. "Yeah. Maybe..." He yawned suddenly, sleepy from both the exhaustion of his fit and the warmth and comfort of just having been bathed. Once he remembered that, he felt a blush light up his cheeks as he shuddered in shy joy.

Peggy noticed his change in mood immediately; she hummed, and it almost sounded like she was teasing him. Demyx glared at her. "Peggy, that is _so_ not what I meant! It was not about Xigbar at all!" She hummed again, tone amused and disbelieving. Demyx rolled his eyes. "Okay, so it was about Xigbar, sort of. I mean, I couldn't use my hands! What else was I supposed to do!"

Peggy twanged. Demyx glared at her again. "I just didn't want him to ruin his pants, okay? Sheesh, people bathe together all the time! I mean it's not like he's not _really_ handsome...ooh, and he's kinda tan, too...and, um, he's got really nice hair, it was so soft and silky and, uh..." He trailed off, realizing that if Peggy was human right now, she would be giving him the biggest smirk of her life. As it was, her strings were humming as she poked Demyx with her handle. Demyx glared at her harder than he ever had in his life.

"I hate you so much." He muttered. Peggy just twanged her strings teasingly.

He sighed, leaning against her and smiling. "But it's really true. Oh god, Peggy, I think I love him. I know we don't have hearts and stuff, but oh god, he just...he's the greatest thing I've ever been given; except you, of course." He teased. Peggy's strings hummed as he hugged her, laughing as he fell back in bed. "Don't worry, Peg. He's going to come back soon. Angels always come back." He promised, closing his eyes and feeling her hum against him.


	28. Morning Star

(HEY LOOK EVERYONE IT'S A HAPPY FUCKIN' ENDING!

OH MY GOD!

And you thought I didn't know how to write one, didn't you. Well I don't blame you.

You know something though? I love y'all enough that I made this chapter EXTRA LONG just to make sure you all got your happy ending. I know I've been dragging you through emotional hell lately, so that's my little gift to you!~!

For some reason that the site gods have not seen fit to elaborate upon to me, chapter 27 isn't showing up for me. So if you reviewed, one, THANK YOU :3 and two, I'm very sorry I haven't replied. :(

Demyx finally gets a happy ending!~ Seriously, this kid has had it a long time coming. I TOLD you I followed the Don Bluth school of thought. xD And that's mostly it! The XigDem arc is mostly over, with LuxXal up next; after that, there's no specific romance arc, because most of the romances that follow after were only made canon in FtM itself, so while there might be some "relationship resolution," so to speak, no fluff until the Moonverse epilogue, (except for AkuRoku but that ties into XemSai and blah blah blah...)

Don't own, duh.

Dedicated to the Ilevan Polka, because my day has kind of sucked, and watching a Pikachu spin a leek to cute music is kind of a godsend right now.)

* * *

Xigbar stared at the closed door with something like a mixture of joy and shock pulsing through that tugging in his chest. He had heard the entire conversation, and now he wasn't sure how much he could actually get through probing Demyx's past without trying to undress him and heal him an _entirely _different way in the process. He groaned, trying to fight down the sensations pumping through him as he knocked on the door. "Dem? I'm coming in; I've got your meds."

He opened the door and stepped in, hearing no response from Demyx. Slightly worried, he crept over to the side of the bed, hoping Demyx hadn't passed out. He sighed in relief as his eyes fell on him; Demyx had curled up in bed with Peggy at his side, eyes shut as he slept peacefully. Xigbar figured he could bandage his hands without waking him up if he was gentle enough, so he walked up on the air to sit down just above the bedspread, picking up Demyx's hands and examining the damage.

They were still raw and covered in oozing burn welts and wounds that continued to undulate with blood, but Xigbar tried not to focus on it as he opened the small jar of healing salve and stroked it across Demyx's hands, rubbing it gently across his raw, throbbing flesh, pausing to daub more on at each open cut or welt. He wrapped one of the bandages across his right hand first, binding it loosely so as not to cut off circulation. He set it down once he'd finished, turning around to take his left hand and start over again.

He kissed his hand tenderly, ignoring the blood he could taste on his lips. "Dem..." He murmured. "Who the hell could make you do this..." Xigbar balanced the salve on the air next to him as he covered his hand in healing salve, heading a bit farther down to his wrists this time and noticing it looked like they'd been broken and oddly healed. He shuddered, not wanting to think about who would break a kid's wrists, especially one who played a sitar...

_He was a monster, but you made him go away. _

Xigbar shivered, pushing the thought to the back of his mind as he finished wrapping Demyx's bandages. He sighed in relief, smirking at his handiwork. "Even, you weren't the only one who knew how to doctor people." He muttered triumphantly. He heard blankets shift and saw Demyx turning to face him. They watched each other for a moment; the elder Apprentice versus the young musician, scars on the soul recognizing one another, the feeling between them becoming a gentle, insistent tug as their bodies pulsed with some sort of rush. Demyx smiled.

"Hey." He whispered. "You're flying again."

Xigbar leaned down to kiss his forehead. "Oh yeah, Dem." He whispered. "Your angel's right here."

Demyx was smiling at him as Xigbar sank down on the bed, but once Xigbar rolled over to face him, he knew that Xigbar was dead serious right now, so he sat up and observed him. "All right, Dem." He said. "I've watched this go on long enough. I've seen you put yourself through hell, and I've stood by and just tried to deal with the aftermath, but I am done with just watching. You are going to tell me what happened to you, why you did this to yourself, and who put these scars on you."

Demyx was trembling now as he watched him, eyes filled with fear. "Xiggy, promise me you won't go away first. Please. If you go away after I tell you, he'll come find me. I know he will." Xigbar wanted to protest, but Demyx looked so terrified that he sighed, pushing logic aside and shifting so Demyx could crawl into his lap.

"I promise, Dem. I'm not going anywhere." He replied. Demyx snuggled against him, relieved. Xigbar stroked his hair, feeling the soft silk under his palm as Demyx began his story.

"I had a big brother." Demyx murmured. "Kayle was a lot older than me, and he did bad things to me. I had a family that loved me a lot, but I just...didn't want to see him lonely; he never spent time with us, and he always seemed so angry. It hurt me to see someone like that."

Xigbar was sure it had; Demyx was far too innocent, much too trusting and beautiful beyond compare; he had no doubts he would reach out to someone, even when they were so clearly monstrous and cruel.

"Well, I tried to get him to open up and play with me more. Did you know I've had Peggy since I was five? She was a gift...she was so much bigger than me, but I would study on a practice sitar before I could learn how to play her. Even then, she was my friend. I tried to let him look at her and maybe even try to learn how to play, but...he refused. And it wasn't just that he refused, it was like Peggy rejected him. I should've known then...but I just was too little." He shivered. Xigbar nodded.

"Was Peggy always like this?" He asked, pointing to the sitar, who was now rumbling and humming in anger. Demyx stroked the heart on her base, shaking his head.

"Uh-uh. But that comes later on in the story. Even then, though, before she could talk to me, she was sort of...we had a bond. So she could sort of feel things, and I'd know if she did. Like, when she rejected him...it happened when I tried to teach him how to play. She wouldn't play right, no matter what he did. Even if I gave him every note, she would sound so harsh and screechy. I think that was her way of trying to tell me he was bad." He said, smiling weakly as Peggy's strings twanged in assent. He stroked her base, pulling on a few of her strings with his bandaged fingers.

"I love you, Peggy." He whispered. Peggy's strings hummed beautifully, and as Demyx smiled at her, Xigbar felt tears stinging his eyes. He shook them away as Demyx continued, holding him steady as he kept going.

"Well, even if it wasn't Peggy, I tried to get him into my interests; you know, going to the beach and looking for shells and stones, swimming, reading, things like that...but he just never wanted to. I kept trying for a really, really long time. I didn't ever give up hope, Xigbar. I just wanted him to be happy." He whispered. "Which...made things go bad." Xigbar could feel Demyx trembling, and he just held him closer in response.

"One day, he started to agree to my plans. He started to pay attention. I was just so happy that he cared that I would do anything he asked. A-anything. And...and that started to become a bad thing." Demyx gasped, holding back tears. "B-because he'd ask and ask and ask, and I could never do enough, and it would never be enough, and o-oh, oh Xiggy, I tried so hard! I tried my best!" Xigbar nodded, rocking him back and forth slightly, trying to calm him down before he had another fit.

"I know you did, kitten." He whispered. "I know you did." His words seemed to perk Demyx up enough so that he could continue, settling back against Xigbar.

"That's what it turned into." He murmured bitterly. "No matter how much good I did, the bad things were always so bad, bad enough to get punished. If I played a note wrong, I was stupid and disrespecting all he'd done for me. If I made something to eat for myself but not for everyone else, I was selfish and worthless, and a bad little brother. If I d-didn't do what he asked, then I was spoiled and selfish and good-for-nothing, and I d-deserved to get punished." He inhaled shaky breaths, trying to keep himself from throwing up as he felt bile burn his throat.

"A-and the p-punishments were always so bad. All those bites on my thighs...he'd make me sit there, um, you know..." He trailed off. Xigbar nodded.

"You don't have to say it, Dem. I know." He whispered. Demyx nodded gratefully.

"Thank you...well, so he did that, and he'd just s-start t-touching me. He would pick out the best spot after awhile, and he'd t-take a kn-knife and make a small cut there first, so he c-could fit his teeth in and he, oh god, he, _it hurt Xigbar it hurt, it hurt so much!" _He screamed, shaking so hard he almost fell out of Xigbar's arms as his throat convulsed. Xigbar picked him up without a word and portaled him right to the bathroom, letting Demyx dart towards the basin and vomit, sobbing hysterically and trying not to faint. He stroked his back gently, letting Demyx steady his breathing and wash his mouth out before he picked him up again.

"Are you ready, kitten?" He whispered. Demyx was shivering, but he nodded.

"Water first." He gasped, holding Xigbar tightly. "Just a glass before I finish..." Xigbar snatched one up without hesitation, filling it with water before bringing them back to his room. Peggy was wailing with agony, her strings trembling as Demyx got back in bed, holding her close. "Hey, Peggy...hey, hey Peggy, it's okay, I'm okay, Peggy." He whispered. Peggy calmed down, but her strings were still taut with fear as Xigbar got in bed with Demyx and held him in his arms again.

"I...I just, I'm sorry, Xiggy-" Demyx was cut off as Xigbar hugged him tight.

"Don't apologize, Demyx." He murmured. "You have nothing to apologize for. Do you want to take a break?" He asked. Demyx shook his head.

"No. No, this has to come out now. D-damn it, this ends now." He whispered, and a spark of determination lit up in his eyes, burning away the sadness and bringing his sapphire sparkle back, the hope in his eyes making Xigbar want to scream with joy. Demyx huffed, trying to smile weakly as he continued.

"And if it wasn't biting, it was burning. He'd take matches and stick them up against my skin, or steal cigarettes from someone and use them, or he'd just go the easy route and use one of his belt buckles on me." He shuddered. "It went on for so long...but the worst part, Xigbar...I believed in it. I thought I deserved it. He was my big brother, Xiggy. He loved me, and he was loving me like big brothers should." He whispered. Xigbar shook his head fiercely as he held Demyx tighter.

"No one should love someone like that. Even if we don't have hearts, I know that much. That wasn't love, Demyx. That was never love at all; not in the slightest. He was abusing you for his own gain. Do you understand that?" Xigbar asked. Demyx nodded. Xigbar shook his head. "Uh-uh. Do you _believe _it, Dem? Do you really know it? Can you really stop thinking you deserved it and know full well in thought and spirit that he was hurting you?" He asked. Demyx was quiet for a minute. He nodded, leaning against Xigbar.

"Yeah." He whispered. "I can." He swallowed. "Have to finish the story, Xigbar." He murmured. Xigbar nodded, letting him continue.

"Well, I was just distancing myself from my family, too. I mean, I knew they still loved me, but I just stopped...feeling it. Like, I knew they did, but didn't feel it on an emotional level, you know? He wreaked havoc on my emotions, plain and simple. I just didn't know how to properly love and trust someone anymore...I didn't for a long time." Demyx said. Xigbar could feel the tugging in his chest get stronger, and he knew he shouldn't interrupt, but he had to ask.

"And now?" He asked. Demyx was quiet for a second. Then he smiled.

"It's funny...we don't even really have hearts, do we? But...yeah. I think I do." He replied.

Xigbar inhaled a sharp breath, trying not to scream with joy and kiss him right then and there. His self-control, thankfully, won out, and he simply smiled. "I'm really glad being among a bunch of overdramatic psychopaths and lunatic geeks has helped you feel better." He teased. Demyx rolled his eyes.

"You know, they're not that bad." He laughed. "I think they're my family now, so I can't really complain." He grinned. Xigbar stared at him incredulously for a second as Demyx tilted his head, confused. "Um, did I say something wrong?" He asked. Xigbar shook his head, holding him close and kissing his forehead.

"No. I'm just shocked at how lucky we are that you picked us." He whispered. Demyx giggled shyly, shaking his head.

"I feel really lucky too, Xigbar, so I guess we're even." He replied. "The story's almost over, okay? Then...then I think..." He shivered. "I think I can be okay. I think I can let it go. I have a new life now, you know?" He said. Xigbar nodded.

"Yeah. I do." He murmured, feeling Demyx sigh in relief as he finished.

"Well, so one day, he told me to come with him somewhere. It was down to this big, super-scary cave at the end of the beach. I knew it wasn't safe, but he told me if I loved him I would go, so how could I refuse, you know?" He shivered. "Even then, though, I think at that point...I had started to question him. Just a bit; a few seeds of doubt, but they were starting to sprout up in my mind, so I protested." At this point, Peggy's strings started to tremble again as Demyx leaned against her, humming comfortingly.

"So he took Peggy, and that's when I knew I couldn't go. Peggy...Peggy was my last friend, my only companion...my best friend in the whole wide world. She was the last inch; the last thing I had, and the one thing I would _never _give up." He said. Xigbar watched as Peggy began to glow a soft blue while Demyx hugged her tight. "And I think he knew it, too. So he started to break Peggy. He was splintering her in his hands, and I started crying...and I don't know why, but when I tried to reach out for her, and my fingers brushed against her...it was like she sort of came to life. He'd broken my wrist and pushed me down into the cave, so I was begging for her...I yelled for her, 'Arpeggio, I need you...' and she listened." He told him. Xigbar's eyes widened.

"Holy shit." He said, completely floored. "Dem, I'm pretty sure that's what my teacher dubbed "soul resonance." I'm pretty sure it's nigh-on impossible unless you have basically a complete empathic bond with something..." He sighed. "You loved her that much, huh?" He asked. Demyx nodded.

"More than anything." He murmured. Xigbar knew he shouldn't be jealous of a sitar...but of course, he was. He shook his head, nodding for him to continue. Demyx smiled. "Well, she..." He giggled. "She actually beat him up. But...it wasn't enough. He broke my other wrist, the one I'd been using to hold on, and pushed me in the cave with Peggy." He shivered. "We were there for a long time before it started to storm...I thought we were gonna drown. But we didn't drown, because before we could, this gross..._thing..._showed up, and it...I think it was a Heartless, Xiggy, because the next thing I remembered was waking up in the ocean with Peggy in my arms, and I could control the water around me. Then you found me!" He said, his smile happy and cheerful as he hugged Xigbar.

Xigbar was frozen, unsure of what to say. The truth. All of it. Demyx had been broken...broken beyond what any human being should be able to endure...and he lived. Demyx kept his heart strong, and he lived to fight, to find him.

"Thank you." Xigbar whispered. Demyx looked up, confused.

"For what, Xigbar?" He asked. Xigbar shook his head.

"For everything, kitten." He murmured. "For surviving for so long, for being strong enough to become a Nobody, for coming home with me, for staying by my side, for being brave, for being strong even after you should've broken down, for being the most beautiful, perfect, and absolutely amazing person in my life, and for telling me all of this. For letting go. Letting me in, letting me heal you, letting me help...Christ, Demyx, I'm so damn lucky..." Xigbar realized he was breaking down, tears spilling down his face as he shook his head.

"You're safe now." He whispered. "You're safe. You're not spoiled, you're not selfish, you're not lazy, you're not useless, and you're not worthless. You are part of a family now, Demyx. And we're going to take care of you. You're safe. You're safe." He felt Demyx shaking against him, nodding his agreement, mouthing, "_yes, yes," _against his skin as Xigbar held him tight.

"My angel..." Demyx murmured. "I'm safe, Xigbar. I have an angel now. It's okay. You'll keep me safe. I believe in you...I believe in my f-family, and I..." He broke down in tears. "I love you so much..." He was sobbing now, holding his arms out for a hug as Xigbar buried his face into his neck. "I love you, Xiggy, I love you so much, I know we don't have hearts, but you're the only person who has ever made me feel so safe, the only person who's ever protected me, you're mine, Xigbar, you're my angel, mine, oh god I love you so much..."

Xigbar felt like he was on fire. The throbbing across his body and the tugging in his chest was overtaking him, following a steady rhythm so much like a heartbeat as he brought Demyx onto his lap and kissed him. He stayed like that for a minute before pulling away to see Demyx looking up at him, shocked. Xigbar winced. He probably should have thought that one through, in retrospect.

"I...I've...never been kissed like that before." Demyx said, tracing his lips in amazement with a blush spreading across his face and a smile across his features. Xigbar started, staring at him in shock.

"Wait, you mean I stole your first kiss?" He asked, unable to keep his calm. If he had been kicking himself before, he was doing it even harder now. Way to totally ruin a kid's innocence, Xigbar.

His inner monologue was interrupted when Demyx hugged him, looking up at him with a small smirk. "Steal another." He said.

Xigbar was happy to oblige.


	29. Dreaming

(Cute and short chapter, which is odd, because my dog just died yesterday.

Yep. We had to put her to sleep; she was thirteen and had gone blind, deaf, and couldn't even stand. But she was a good dog and I loved her more than anyone else in my family, and she was the only one who really loved me in my house, so I'll miss her. She was a great dog and I love her, so this chapter is all for her. I hope since it's happy that's a good blessing. :3

Xigbar's too sweet to Xaldin sometimes. I couldn't help but want to cuddle him for this. xD

One word, Xeh; COCKBLOCK. /shot/

This is all Peggy's nefarious doing. Every time someone gets cockblocked in KH=all her fault.

Haha that's mostly it. It'll be cute chapters from here on out, but for how long~? Not even I know...mostly because I have to see where I end the chapters. I FAIL AT PACING. /shot/

Uhhh yeah that's it. :3

Don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Dedicated to Tasha once more. RIP babe.)

* * *

Demyx had fallen asleep soon afterwards, exhausted from telling his tale and being kissed beyond oblivion. Xigbar watched over him, a small smile on his lips as he played with the loose strands of Demyx's hair. His Demyx. His beautiful, wonderful, perfect Demyx. He was still trying to sort it all out, but what he did know right now was that he was never leaving Demyx's side, and he was good with that.

Just as he prepared to lie down next to Demyx and fall asleep beside his kitten, he heard a soft knock on the door. He sighed, yawning as he whispered, "Come in, but be quiet; Dem's asleep."

Xaldin opened the door and crept in, taking care not to disturb Demyx as he watched Xigbar. He sat up in bed and looked at his friend, who looked haggard and strained all of a sudden. "You okay, Dilan?" He murmured. Xaldin shook his head.

"No...but that can wait a minute. Is he...did you..." He gestured to Demyx. Xigbar grinned.

"Yeah. He's mine now. I didn't take advantage of him, if that's what you were thinking; I want to save it for awhile. He just...he told me he loved me. It's really the only time I've been told that properly...well, aside from all the times you and teacher all said it, but that's different, isn't it?" He murmured. Xaldin sighed.

"Yes. It is." He whispered. Xigbar tilted his head, gesturing for Xaldin to come over and sit. He sighed, sinking into a chair and shaking his head. "Lord above, Xigbar, I just...seem to be feeling very lost, lately." He murmured. "This might seem like an odd question to ask, but tell me; what do you see when you look at me?" He looked up to meet Xigbar's eyes, and Xigbar couldn't help but feel the stunning amount of hopeless resignment in them. He sighed, tugging gently on one of Xaldin's braids, doing his best to give him a smile.

"I see my kid brother who talks like a dictionary that grew sideburns. I see a man who worked his ass off to be able to stand as a member of teacher's guard. I see a stubborn, determined, eloquent, manipulative, and altogether clever man who I'm proud to call a brother, a colleague, and a fellow scientist. I love you, Dilan. Love you like I always did, heart or not. What brought this on?" He asked, watching him carefully for a reaction. Xaldin shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose and biting his lip.

"And what, Braig, do you think others see when they look at me?" He murmured. Xigbar blinked, stunned.

"Shit, that's what brought this on? Ohhh. Oh. Fuck, Xal. Just...c'mere, kay?" He said, letting Xaldin lay his head against his shoulder. He could feel the lancer shaking against him, and Xigbar sighed, undoing his braids for him. "Can't sleep with those fuckers in, you know that." He scolded him, hearing a small rumble of laughter from his throat. "Look, Xaldin, of course they're going to be scared when they see you. Christ, they should be; you're strong, and you know how to not only hold your own in a fight, but how to hold about a hundred other mens' own, too." He teased. Xaldin nodded.

"I know, Xigbar. That's not it. What is the problem here is something else; you know I've never..." He trailed off. "Well, the point remains, I have never been sought out by another for affection. Romantic _or_ carnal. And seeing you...even now, after all that we are...with Demyx..." He sighed. "I just ache. I'm sorry, Xigbar, I shouldn't have-" As Xaldin stood to leave, Xigbar grabbed his single braid left in, yanking him back.

"Shut up, Xal." He snapped, rolling his eyes in amused disgust. "Honestly, listen to you. Like I'm not going to be here for you when you need me. Tch, as if." He muttered, genuine affection in his words as Xaldin couldn't help but smile. "Look, trust me on this; shit's gonna start coming together now. We're adjusting to this life, all of us. It's only a matter of time before everything works out, okay?" He promised. Xaldin nodded, squeezing his hand.

"Yes. Thank you, Xigbar. I'll be all right." He murmured. "See you in the morning." Xaldin disappeared into the darkness without another word. Xigbar sighed, rolling his eyes and smirking.

"Honestly, he's so hopeless sometimes, eh, kitten?" He asked. Demyx slept on, a soft, mewling snore his only reply. Xigbar shook his head, laughing quietly as he laid down and pulled Demyx close, finally letting himself fall asleep against his lover.

* * *

Xemnas rolled out of bed the next morning with an unceremonious thud. The Superior swore, sitting up to realize his pup had spread out across the bed in the night, whimpering and growling, even in his sleep. Xemnas rolled his eyes, standing up and going over to him. Saix had apparently dreamt of some sort of hunt; the sheets were wrapped around him as he hissed with some sort of...pleasure? Was that...a moan?

Xemnas stayed where he was, breath quiet and husky, trying not to wake Saix up. Saix was now happily mewling, arching his back and clutching the sheets. "Mmh...m-master..." He whispered. "My Superior...oh, oh, Lord Xemnas..."

Xemnas' eyes got wide. Oh good lord above, that dream was not what he thought it was. No, it couldn't be. Saix probably wasn't even entirely sure of what sex _was._ But Saix was writhing on the bed still, whimpering and mewling as he panted with ecstasy. Xemnas swallowed, still watching his pet begging for attention of some sort...from him. From his master. Oh lord.

"Superior...yes, yes like that, oh, oh my _master, _oh my _lord, _my _god, _my everything...please...I need..." Saix was mewling and whimpering again, hips rising up off the bed as he pleaded with whatever enraptured him in his dreams. Xemnas couldn't help but speak now, self control gone.

"What, my pet?" Xemnas whispered. "What is it that you need?" His voice was low, seductive, heavy with affection, need, and desperate longing. Saix moaned once more.

"Need...need my c-coffee, Superior. I'm just very out of it this morning." Saix said, sitting up in bed and yawning. "Forgive me...I was interrupted by a strange dream last night, and I didn't get much sleep because of it." He stood, getting out of bed and getting dressed, not noticing Xemnas walk outside very quietly and solemnly until he heard a harsh banging sound. Saix jumped, turning around to see Xemnas slamming his head against the wall.

"Superior! What is the meaning of this!" Saix yelped, tugging Xemnas away from the wall as his Superior roared with frustration, insensible with some sort of anger as he tried to gather himself enough not to dart for the wall again.

"Nothing, Saix. Absolutely nothing." He told his worried pet, yanking his coat on and storming down the hall. "_And that's half the damned problem." _He muttered darkly, hearing Saix follow him downstairs for his coffee.


	30. Hero

(I seriously cannot win.

I went to England and saw my boyfriend, (it was totes awesome yessss), but then I came back and found out that our spare computer broke. I just… Dude! What the hell, man!

So once again this was a "wrote all at once at one in the morning after nine days of not writing" project. It's obviously a little rusty; I'm exhausted and haven't written in awhile, but it's hopefully passable and gave me a few good ideas for later on, so there's that.

Not sure when or where this takes place; probably sometime pretty early on in their existence as Nobodies. Just go with the flow, yo.

The spare laptop, btw, comes back Tuesday. Which is when BIRTH BY SLEEP COMES OUT OMFG YESSSS okay I'm good. :3 So I'll have chapters then. Sorry for the inconvenience! D: It wasn't intentional, and it sucks as bad for me as it does for you. :(

Don't own KH or a steady computer at this point.

Dedicated to a new laptop. C'mon birthday.)

* * *

Zexion would never admit what happened to him at night to anyone. Not even to his brothers, his mentors and family; he might trust them with everything else in his life, but there were some things he just couldn't explain without shame welling up inside him, even to the people who had seen him at his worst.

He controlled illusion. He could weave webs of peaceful fantasies and tangled barbed-wire snares of hideous nightmares all within the expanse of a single instant in time. He breathed in the smoke of dreams and gave it shape within his mind; he ruled over a kingdom made of the fragile shards of human consciousness, and he looked upon it and called it good.

But when the god of this dream-world slept, his creations came back to haunt him.

It had started only a few days ago; he'd woken up in a cold sweat, terrified enough to forget he couldn't truly feel terror as he tried to dredge up what had frightened him enough to startle him out of sleep.

Normally, the dreams came to him like loyal hounds, eager to be examined and pondered over, but this one lurked at the darkest crevasses of his mind, ignoring his commands and spiriting itself away into the shadows to be forgotten.

Zexion didn't sleep for the rest of the night. He sat on the edge of the windowsill and stared up at the sky, eyes open even as he ignored the sky and focused only on the cracks in the windowpane, gentle little fractures in an otherwise sturdy frame.

He wondered if he was going mad.

With a soft, shuddering sigh, he went down into the lab, burying his nose into an arcane text on the different subsections of the mind, skimming familiar words for a solution he wasn't sure he knew how to find.

He wasn't aware of Vexen and Lexaeus keeping their watchful, concerned eyes upon him the entire day. It might not have bothered him if he had known; Zexion was well-used to their concern for his wellbeing, and he knew how to ward off even the most piercing questions from the other two. He wasn't frightened of being found out, exactly…he was just worried what they would think of them if they knew.

Ienzo had been nothing more than a baby; seven years old and already jaded beyond comprehension. Little Ienzo, who had seen his mother and father slaughtered in front of him and sat with their corpses for hours, waiting patiently for a doctor to arrive so they could wake his parents up for him. Little Ienzo, who had been so desperate for acceptance and love that it took him a nervous breakdown to realize that he had already found it right in front of him.

And yet.

He had to prove he was an adult now; he wouldn't be frightened by something as paltry and pathetic as a nightmare. He ruled illusion; to be captured in such a coup by his own attribute would surely be more humiliating than he could bear. If his brothers, of all people, teased him and tore him down…

Well, they didn't have hearts, so perhaps he wouldn't really feel the pain. But something inside of him would die. He knew that much.

Zexion let the day pass him by without complaint; he sat in the library and read, letting the world outside pulse with life and let him be, leaving him in peace to read.

He went to sleep once more, brushing the nightmare off as a one-time occurrence, something he never had to worry about again; of course, nightmares could happen occasionally, even to a master of illusions and dreams, but they could never be recurring.

He told himself that even as he woke up once more in a cold sweat, realizing with wretched self-loathing and disgust that he'd wet himself in his sleep, and tears were streaming down his cheeks. If he'd bothered to attempt to remember what he'd been calling for just as he woke up while he tore sheets and blankets from his bed, he might have realized he'd been calling for someone; at any rate, he didn't think to, and it hardly mattered, because apparently, the nightmares had started to settle in.

He held his tongue for the rest of the week; he didn't think anyone had noticed. No one had said a word, and so Zexion triumphed at his secrecy, his ability to keep himself safe from scorn and ridicule.

Yet the others had noticed. However, they knew Zexion as well as he knew himself, and thus they did not say a word. Instead, they shared glances; quick looks from across the table, fast hand gestures and mouthing of words across the hallways, waiting for Zexion to come to his senses and realize they were looking out for him.

It took only one more night for him to crack.

It had been darker than usual that night; Kingdom Hearts seemed to have lost some of its' luster, and it hung limp and dull in the sky as Zexion cried out in his sleep, screaming for release as he awoke under the dead moon, eyes wild and frightened as he bolted from his bed and searched the room, gaze terrified and panicked.

He could smell the rotting flesh still; the nightmare had buried its' twisted, poisonous claws deep into his skin, and it persisted even as he observed the waking world. All he knew in that moment was terror and pain, and there was only one thing on his mind as he scrambled for the doorknob and bolted from his room and headed for the lab.

He didn't care any longer if the others made fun of him for what was going wrong. He needed someone to hold him. He needed his brothers to make it all stop hurting so awful much…

The lab door was open as he burst in, searching the room for his brothers' scent; no sign of any of them. He couldn't stop a frustrated, terrified wail from tearing itself from his throat.

"Ae-liss? E-Even? Even, I need you so bad…someone help me…Xehanort? Help, please…it hurts…it all hurts…I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" He slumped to the floor, clutching a book to his chest like a lifeline as he called out for the only family he had left, desperate for an answer.

"Ienzo?" The word was soft, hushed, and the voice sounded almost as scared as his. Zexion almost laughed with joy, looking up to see Vexen standing in the doorway, pajamas wrinkled and sleep weighing down his eyelids.

"A-ah…Even? C-can…can…" He trailed off, suddenly unsure of what he wanted to say. Vexen sighed.

"Took you long enough, didn't it, Ienzo?" He asked. His tone wasn't harsh or sarcastic; if anything, it was gentle and soft, and slightly amused. He held out his arms and let Zexion crawl over to him, falling into his embrace with another hysterical sob. Vexen sighed, picking him up and ruffling his hair.

"Idiot." He whispered. "You ought to have a good explanation for why you hid this from us for so long…" Vexen only felt Zexion cling tighter to him in response. He sighed; best not to pry answers from him yet, it seemed.

"Ae-liss." Zexion begged, the small lisp he had always put on Aeleus' name as a child returning, "I want Ae-liss."

Vexen nodded, shouldering his weight and carrying him down the hallway and into his room. "I know, Ienzo. Aeleus is coming, I promise." He told him, sighing with relief as he felt tension almost forcibly draining from Zexion's body. "Can you lie down and tell me what's wrong, Ienzo?" He murmured. Zexion shook his head.

"Want Ae-liss first." He snapped, hugging the pillows tight against his chest. Vexen tried not to roll his eyes.

"Ienzo, please…just tell me what's wrong, will you?" He pleaded. Zexion shook his head, chest rising and falling in short, hysterical breaths.

"No! No! I want Ae-liss! I want him _now, _Even!" He screamed. Tears were spilling from his eyes again as he began to kick his heels against the mattress, exhaustion finally winning over and letting him give in to a temper tantrum.

"I'm right here, Ienzo." Lexaeus' soft voice broke through Zexion's shouting, and Vexen could've cried out with relief. Zexion's eyes had lit up and his tears had already dried; he held his arms out for a hug and let Lexaeus cradle him against his chest.

Vexen began toying with Zexion's hair as Lexaeus stroked his back, letting Zexion steady his breathing before lifting a glass to his lips. "Heated up the chamomile milk and honey mix you love, 'Zo. You need to drink it all, okay?" He murmured. Zexion obeyed without complaint, sighing happily as he felt Vexen clamber onto the bed beside the two of them, sharing some of Zexion's delicate weight with Lexaeus.

"Why didn't you tell us you were having nightmares?" Lexaeus asked, getting to the quick of the matter immediately. Vexen winced; he had wanted to wait for a moment and get Zexion talking, but he could understand why Lexaeus wanted to tear that terror from him as fast as possible.

Zexion had almost visibly wilted under the hero's sharp gaze; he shook his head and hid under his bangs, looking away for a minute until Lexaeus put his fingers against his chin and tilted his head up so the two of them could face each other. Zexion sighed.

"Because they were about my m-mother…and my father…" He shivered. "It was like being locked in my room again, listening to them argue and for my mom to cry and reach out for h-him and try to hug him and they were both just so scared, but it was the only way, a-and now they t-tried to make me do it to, they said I'd be happy they said—" Lexaeus cut him off before Zexion could burst into tears again, letting Vexen kiss his forehead as he stroked his hair.

"I understand, Ienzo. Listen to me; what your parents did might have made sense for them, but they hurt you. I know they did a bad thing, and so do you. No matter what, Ienzo, they did love you, and they wouldn't want you to do a bad thing, either." He whispered. Zexion nodded, unable to speak as he curled up in their embrace. Lexaeus sighed. "But why didn't you tell us?" He asked. Zexion shuddered, a small, cold laugh escaping his lips.

"Because I rule over dreams and nightmares, Ae-liss…this is my own kingdom rebelling on me. I…I wanted to prove I was just as brave and strong as you…because…I didn't want you to make fun of me, you know?" Zexion begged, and as he looked up at Lexaeus and pleaded for him to understand, his voice wasn't of the teenaged smart-aleck they adored; it was the voice of the frightened little boy who had worked himself halfway to death and hid behind himself for almost a month before he let them in to save him. Lexaeus shuddered, suddenly nauseous.

"Ienzo, I would sooner slit my own throat than mock you for something like this." He whispered. The fact that he meant it kept Zexion silent as Lexaeus hugged him tight. "We are your family, and we know you're already so brave and strong…being scared and lost doesn't make you a coward, Ienzo. Right now, I'm very scared you'll hurt yourself, but you don't think that means I'm a coward, do you?" He asked. Zexion shook his head.

"'Course not!" He said indignantly. "You're my hero, Ae-liss!" He told him, hugging him back and smiling against his skin. Lexaeus laughed, letting Vexen pull Zexion under the covers and put a pillow under his head.

"None of us will ever make you feel ashamed or hurt, Ienzo. We're your big brothers; we're supposed to protect you from bad things like this, do you understand? That's why we came first; to protect you." He promised. "You need to remember you're not alone, Ienzo; no matter what the problem is, we are going to listen, and then we will do the best we can to help. That's what a family does." Zexion nodded, tugging on Vexen's sleeve and looking up at him.

"D'you believe it too, Even?" He asked, yawning widely as he settled into bed. Vexen nodded, watching as Lexaeus settled in beside Zexion and pulled him closer towards him.

"Ienzo, I can tell you with complete certainty that we are your family, and the only thing we want to do is keep you safe." He laid down and let Zexion bury his face into his chest as he sighed. "There's no need to keep secrets from us, Ienzo. We've all suffered the same hardships and trials, and lived through the same sins and mistakes. Let us in, all right?" He begged.

For a minute, he didn't get a response.

There was a soft sigh of relief suddenly as Zexion nodded, just before they both felt his breathing become gentle and even.

Lexaeus and Vexen shared a small smile before wrapping their arms around their youngest brother and followed him right into the sweet comfort of well-earned sleep.


	31. Weddings and Time

(OGC update in honor of Birth By Sleep~ Also because I have the laptop back finally yessh :3

Poor Xaldin. He puts up with a lot. :( I just wanna hug heem. :3 Yes I know he's like a brutual muscular berseker with an obnoxious boss battle, but C'MON HE'S ADORABLE.

Yep I'm crazy. Anyhoodle, not much else to say; Demyx's dream, for what it's worth, was based partially off of a dream River had in a Firefly comic. Mostly just the whale in a tuxedo, because really, everything needs one of those. ESPECIALLY weddings.

By the way, if updates become slower later on, I'm going to (hopefully) be in the drama production at school, which will eat up my time like a bunny in the farmer's garden. So I apologize in advance.

Don't own Kingdom Hearts, but I'm on the verge of owning a copy of Birth By Sleep.

Dedicated to the new school year; don't suck, please.)

* * *

Xaldin yawned, trying to readjust his senses to be able to function properly for the morning. He winced, feeling the kinks in his hair and deciding he needed a shower. He slipped out of bed and discarded his pajamas, tossing his pants aside and stretching out against the tiled wall of the shower, yawning widely as the burning water began to pound his chest and shoulders, soothing his aching nerves as he tried not to think about the conversation he'd had with Xigbar the night before.

He relaxed for a few minutes under the spray, content to stay where he was for awhile, just enjoying the water. It was only once he remembered he'd have a mission today that he fumbled for the conditioner, massaging it hurriedly through his hair and washing it out as quickly as he could, settling for brushing it out of his hair while he was still under the showerhead, shaking the water out as he turned the tap off and fumbled for a towel, foregoing shoes for simply drying off and putting his coat on, hairbrush still in hand with the bands to keep his braids in place wrapped safely around its' handle as he threw his shoes over his shoulder and disappeared into the darkness.

He stood in front of the kitchen door, yanking his shoes on until he could stand properly. He brushed his hair out, ignoring the braids for the time being; he'd have time to do it before the mission. He really hoped Xigbar and Demyx would be subtle about their newfound relationship; he couldn't stand the honeymooning bliss this early in the morning, especially not after the turmoil he was putting himself through.

* * *

"So Xiggy proposed to me last night!" Demyx said cheerfully, sitting on Xigbar's lap next to Axel, bandaged hands darting through the air as he told his story. "And we got married on a giant floating airship that was powered by balloons and love, and there was a rainbow castle on it, and that's where the ceremony was, and it was made of a real rainbow, and our maid of honor was this giant whale in a tuxedo, and it was a very classy tuxedo, with the frills down the front and everything! And I had a pretty dress on, which is weird because I don't really like dresses, but Xigbar told me to wear it and so I did, and it was red with glittery sparkles, and I wore pretty silk gloves, and Peggy was our flower girl but she couldn't walk up the aisle so she just kind of sat there with a basket of flowers, and," Xigbar tried to interrupt him, but Demyx held up a hand.

"Hush Xiggy, I'm telling Axel about our wedding. Anyways, so Xigbar was wearing this beautiful tuxedo, and it was silky and black and for some reason he had crocodiles instead of shoes, but that wasn't a big deal because once we said our vows and got in our floating limo to drive to Candyland-that's where we were holding the reception, you know? I just couldn't think of a better place to do it!-and so we had our beautiful reception and we danced and there was a rainbow cake and the frosting was made of gold and when you bit into it, butterflies flew out, only they were made of chocolate and were delicious and then it started getting really naughty so I can't really tell you, but Xigbar has a really big-" Xigbar's hand clamped over Demyx's mouth as Axel tried his best not to giggle like a lunatic.

"That's...enough of the details, kitten." He murmured, nuzzling his neck and kissing the top of his head. "Besides, you know _most _of that was a dream." He teased, shifting his hips suggestively to cradle Demyx closer. Demyx pouted, tugging on his sleeve.

"B-but Xiggy, you promised we could have an airship!" He whimpered. Xigbar laughed.

"I said an airship, not a whale as our maid of honor. Or a butterfly-flavored cake. I have my limits, Dem." He teased, laughing as Demyx whined playfully and kissed him, nuzzling his forehead before turning to Xaldin, his eyes lighting up as he saw him.

"Good morning, Xaldin!" He chirped, handing him a piece of toast. Xaldin bit back a sigh as he tried to smile at Demyx.

Oh, wait. Nevermind.

He tried not to show how achingly envious he was of his friend and simply sat at the table, noting Xemnas' occasional twitching eye as Saix gratefully held a cup of coffee in his hands like a blessed elixir, putting two and two together and deducing Xemnas was going to have a very bad day. He sighed, handing his friend the jar of clotted cream.

"Drown your sorrows, Xeh." He quipped, seeing Xemnas flash him a look that was an odd mix of annoyance and gratefulness. Xaldin smiled for real, eating quickly before remembering his mission. "Oh, wait; you wanted me to go back to Port Royal, didn't you? Considering how well our mission there went last time?" He teased. Demyx huffed.

"Don't invite him to the wedding, Xigbar." He pouted. Xigbar flashed Xaldin an amused glance before patting Demyx's head.

"Of course not, my cute little kitten. We'll have our wedding, just the two of us, with a unicorn and thirty doves, and even a motorcycle, and Peggy can be the flower girl again, and we'll get her a little scooter so she can move, and..." As Xigbar and Demyx trailed off into disgustingly saccharine smooching, Xemnas glared at them before turning to Xaldin.

"Yes. Please, Xaldin, just...bring back some of the heavier stuff this time, will you? We're out of the proper hard stuff." He grumbled. Xaldin groaned.

"Rotten day already?" He asked. Xemnas just nodded. Xaldin sighed, squeezing his friend's hand in sympathy before portaling away, trying to ignore the sounds of Xigbar and Demyx laughing at the table before he disappeared into the darkness.

* * *

Xaldin sighed, braiding his hair as he stepped through the darkness and into Port Royal. He smirked, observing the dark, gruesome street he'd arrived on and realized how much Xigbar must have enjoyed this world. He walked slowly, not only to observe the street's stores and other less wholesome establishments, but so as to balance his lances over his shoulder and braid his hair at the same time. The lances kept some of the shadier characters away, and besides, they were a good support so he could hold his hand steady.

He realized that he'd finished his braids, and with a sigh of relief, he pulled them back into a ponytail, shaking them out and shouldering his lances more comfortably. He kept walking down the street, head cocked slightly to better relax and hear things clearer. The street gave way to a dock, which Xaldin walked along for a while, watching the waves seethe below him.

He looked away, not wanting to be reminded of the water that Demyx controlled. He just had to find his own way to forget about this. With a small sigh, he turned away to look at the buildings lining the dock-

The tugging feeling. Oh god, now he felt it. Xaldin felt tears sting his eyes as he gripped his chest. Gods, this is what it felt like. It was so wonderful, so terrible, so absolutely intoxicating it hurt to breathe. Close. Whoever the Nobody was, they were close. His. They were all his.

He kept following the tugging feeling, letting it pull him around the street, until his eyes finally fell on...a bar? His mate was in a bar? Xaldin sighed. Well, she was probably being held hostage by pirates or something unsavory like that. He'd go and save her, and he ought to be quick.

He let himself get lost in his fantasies as he headed for the bar. Beautiful. She'd be beautiful; long, raven-shaded locks, well-endowed, big, indigo eyes that shone with hope and a traumatic past just waiting to be healed, and oh, she'd be wonderful...

He stepped through the doors of the bar and looked around, eyes quick and calculating as he observed the whole inside. A decrepit piano was being played in the corner; the bar had all sorts of glasses and bottles on its' counter, but the patrons of the bar were focused on something else. Xaldin felt the tugging coming from where everyone had gathered, so he followed the crowd and observed what they were all staring at.

A group of beautiful women were anxiously gathered around the table, obscuring whatever was on it, but Xaldin didn't mind; surely one of these women was the source of this feeling? But even as he observed them all, he knew it wasn't true. Xaldin sighed. Very well, then. Sure they were gathered around his love, envious of her beauty. He stepped forward, pausing only when he heard a smooth, cocky lilt purring, "Full house, gentlemen."

There were assorted curses all around, and the sound of drinks and coins being shoved aside as a few men stormed away from the table. Xaldin tensed. All right. Something had gone horribly wrong. Where was his mate?

He looked toward the table again and froze, his thoughts stopping in their place and crashing into one another, leaving his mind a scattered wreck as he saw the keeper of his newfound feelings.

A handsome blonde man sat at the table, surrounded by adoring barmaids as he laid down a set of cards; a Tarot this time, smirking in amusement as he showed one of the girls her fortune and she swooned, giggling with delight. Xaldin stared at him in horror. Oh no. This was not how it was supposed to go. This was insane.

No, no it wasn't insane. It was positively inconceivable, preposterous, utterly and simply, to put it mildly, a complete farce. Oh, it wasn't like he was averse to the idea of a man; he wasn't exactly as flirtatious as Xigbar, (well, none of them had been), but he'd never really _cared _about gender, since neither gender seemed to pay much attention to him anyway, it was just, well...he wasn't what he had expected. At all. Maybe the tugging feeling really meant nothing. At least, not for him. Xaldin sighed, turning to leave.

Hell with it. He'd tell the Superior there was a Nobody in this world and let someone else come fetch him. He just couldn't handle this. Not now. Not ever.

As he turned to leave, he didn't realize the blonde man had looked up and was now surveying him with cool, calculating eyes.

Luxord snarled quietly, muttering an oath as he looked at the other man. What the hell had just happened? He'd just seen a flash of a black cloak, nothing unusual in this place, but he'd looked up, startled by the swishing noise it made, and then he'd just saw that man, and...

Well, damn.

He groaned, shuffling his cards. All right, something was up. He had only one option, and it was to use that odd little power he'd found for himself.

He snapped his fingers and turned back time.


	32. Swallow

(Monty Python reference. You're welcome.

Poor Xaldin. :( Braig was a total ho, btw, but he was a tease; he wasn't easy, and as far as I suppose, he probably never put out, but I dunno...yes, I speculate on the sex lives of fictional characters. WHO AMONGST YOU HAS NOT. THAT'S RIGHT. NO ONE.

Lawl, speaking of, I was planning a little lemonfic series, too. You know, for kicks. God help me. It would be more about character development, considering sex is one of the most intimate experiences human beings can have with each other, but my mind is still like BAD SELF.

Also, shameless plug; I got off my ass and wrote a TWEWY fic. Love me. :3 Read it if you have the time; it's short but sweet.

Xigbar has the most raging big brother complex I have ever seen. Seriously, he wasn't joking about his ultimatum; he considers it par for the course to punch someone through a wall if they make a nasty comment about any of his brothers or Demyx. Yeah, I totally love him. xD

Xaldin had kinda a rough life beforehand. To be honest, as much as he loved his family and they loved him back, considering Xeh had fangirls/boys up the yin-yang and Braig was a slut, he would get pretty down about it. Even didn't care, and Aeleus had made peace with it. Ienzo was just small and cute and was thus cuddled to death. So he had the needs of Braig and no one ever looked his way. :(

IT'S OKAY XALDIN YOU HAVE LUXORD NOW :( Yeah I went and depressed myself fffff

Okay so anyways, moving on from my rambling, don't own KH big surprise.

Dedicated to Graham Chapman, speaking of Python references. RIP.)

* * *

Xaldin felt himself turning around, confused. He'd just made to leave. Hadn't he? He honestly couldn't remember. But that tugging feeling had started up again, insistent and forceful. He groaned. All right, whatever. He'd just go and see whatever had caused this foolish turnabout and be done with it. He started for the closest table and tried to sit, only realizing too late that he now had someone standing over him with a wonderfully wicked smirk on his face.

As the tugging intensified, turning into a pulsing, raging pull, Xaldin bit back a stream of oaths. The man smirked, sitting down across from him.

"You look so out of place." He murmured. Xaldin narrowed his eyes. The man snorted with amusement. "Oh, it's just amusing; don't get irate, will you? I'd rather not be on the receiving end of one of those lances. What I mean is, you might have those muscles, that swagger, that look in your eyes...but you don't know what to do with yourself here, do you? Cute little thing." He teased. Xaldin stared at him. He shrugged.

"Callin' them like I see them, doll." He said, trying to hide a smile at the sputters the other was failing to conceal under his breath. "Anyways, I have a few questions for you." He leaned in close; oh, oh so wonderfully close, sweet merciful Alexandria, Xaldin could not take the closeness-

"What," he murmured, "is the weight of an unladen African swallow?"

Xaldin almost died.

With a start, he did his best to regain his senses, and replied, "I...am unaware." The blonde rolled his eyes, but there seemed to be a bit of affectionate disdain behind it. Xaldin did his best to try to wrestle back control of the situation. He puffed himself up slightly, showcasing his rippling muscles and thick, shimmering braids of hair as his indigo eyes flashed in the candlelight. "I am Xaldin, the Whirlwind Lancer and Number III in Organization XIII. I was sent here to find you and ask you to accompany me back to our castle within the World that Never Was." Luxord watched him for a long time.

"You bottom, don't you?" He asked, swilling his drink like nothing had happened.

If Xaldin had thought he'd had a near-death experience last time, that was _nothing _compared to what he was feeling now. He tried to find words to deny it, but all that came out was a squeak of, "E-excuse me?"

The blonde grinned. "I'm Luxord. Now, silvertongue, hush up and bring me back home, your open mouth is beginning to attract flies." He watched with an awfully Cheshire-esque grin on his face as Xaldin quietly walked outside, summoned a dark Corridor, beckoned absentmindedly for him to follow, and fled into the portal like the hounds of hell were closing in upon him.

* * *

Luxord adjusted to his new surroundings immediately, taking an instantaneous shine to Xigbar, Axel, and Demyx; in fact, the three of them had accepted his proposition for a game of cards, and all four sat comfortably in the lounge, trading stories and teasing insults whenever a hand was lost. Xigbar paused in the game after a moment's thought and laid his cards down as the others looked at him, confused.

"Has anyone seen Xaldin? He came back from Port Royal and disappeared without a damn word." He murmured. "Luxord, did you do something to him or something? Because he looked, hand to god, like he'd just been knocked on his ass by something bad." He said, appraising the other Nobody with a careful eye. Luxord groaned.

"Oh Christ, he's a virgin, isn't he? Fuck, he's a virgin. I totally just used all of my flirting skills on a virgin." He muttered. Xigbar stared at him, eyes wide as he tried to process this new information.

"Are you serious. You flirted with my kid brother." He said slowly, still amazed by the relevation. Luxord groaned.

"Um, a little. Actually, not a little, more like a lot. Well, more like, I basically tried to tear his pants off right then and there with the sound of my voice alone." He shrugged. "I wasn't exactly expecting him to reciprocate, for one thing, and besides, he was like a kitten wandering the streets during a storm; you know, all confused and lonely. I couldn't just leave him to fend for himself in a den of vices like a bar, now could I?" He said, watching Xigbar's eyebrow climb up further and further until it almost disappeared straight into his hairline.

"I can honestly say I did not expect that. At all. Ever." He said, at a loss for words. Demyx tilted his head, confused by the shock and awe on Xigbar's face.

"Okay, Xiggy, I'm officially confused. What's so bad about Xaldin? Besides, it's not like he could've gotten scared or anything, right?" He said cheerfully. Xigbar groaned, leaning back on the couch, aware of the others staring at him, eagerly waiting for a story.

"I'm not telling you the whole thing, for starters. This is all for Dilan to divulge if he so wishes, but there's a basic amount I can tell you; stuff you're gonna have to know to deal with him, especially right now." Xigbar winced.

"Xaldin has basically had jack-all luck with love. Not only was he too focused on his work to ever go out and socialize, he was, well, himself. For all his eloquence and bravado, he really has no idea how to woo someone. He just...gave up. I can't say I blame him, all things considered; Xaldin cuts an imposing figure, does he not?" Xigbar asked. The others nodded. He sighed, continuing on.

"Yeah. That's what I thought. He's just...never had to actually deal with romantically affectionate attention, and he's going to shy away from it for as long as possible. To put it bluntly, he's scared out of his fucking mind right now. He's going to lash out; try to manipulate you, dissuade you, direct you away from his problems and push you away." Xigbar shook his head, looking right up at Luxord.

"But I swear to god, if you want him-and I mean want him for _keeps, _mind you, because anyone fucks with my kid brother and I won't even bother with bullets, I'll just shove my fingers through their sockets," Luxord looked nauseated at that last part, but let Xigbar continue, "you don't ever let go. Seriously. Hold on by the skin of your fucking teeth, because that's all the leverage he's gonna give you. I'm saying this as someone who's known him for almost fifteen years by now; you just have to outwit him at every turn. Don't let him try to dissuade you, because when I say he wants you, he really, really does. He just doesn't know why." Xigbar sighed, laying his cards down.

"Not really in the mood for poker now. Sorry, babes. I've got to go see to him." He said, kissing Demyx quickly before disappearing into the darkness. Luxord stared at where he'd been before shaking his head.

"Well, this is bloody great." He muttered darkly. "Fancy another round, boys?"

Axel and Demyx nodded, reshuffling the deck for him as he stared at Kingdom Hearts, deep in thought.


	33. Sixteen Going On Seventeen

(Blatant FFIX reference is blatant.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME~ As a gift to you all, because making people happy is the best present ever, (barfs rainbow), new chapter. :3 Just so you know, I'm writing a cute little birthday celebration for Senayax as an epilogue chapter, but I didn't want to publish it today b/c I try not to have too many AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT moments in this. But it'll get done. :3

Luxord really is the sanest of them all. It's a little odd, but yeah, he's not crazy at ALL. He's sane and grounded and a good, (sort of) honest man. Xaldin's so lucky. :3

I've got a new computer coming on the waaaay~ It'll be here by Friday at the latest, and so then updates will only be hindered by my own laziness! Hooray!

(I'm not THAT lazy but still, lawl.)

So that's really it. You might need a dictionary for this chapter; I've been told my vocabulary is pretty vast for someone my age, and I've always been a precocious bitch, so I'll probably use like bastillion rapscallion of monochromatic fibrulations and I'm not even sure what I just wrote. xD

Don't own KH~

Dedicated to my friends! You know who you are, (like, everyone I know, basically), and I love you all SO MUCH!)

* * *

Xaldin snarled, slicing his wall open with two lances at once, slamming them down in frustration as the cut in the wall closed over with the darkness, kicking his shoes off and crawling into bed. He didn't want to hide like a coward, but damn it, what else was he supposed to do? He'd go outside and he'd see Luxord and he'd feel that tugging, and oh no, he never wanted to feel it again. Not with him. He was too forward, too honest, too...too...seductive. He would take him and leave, the tugging feeling going with him.

"Dilan, open the door or I'm kicking it down and then kicking your ass." Xaldin sighed, hearing Xigbar through the door. He didn't really want to talk to him, but Xigbar was the first one of his brothers he'd trust to follow through on that threat before anyone else.

"Coming, Braig." He muttered, yanking open the door and storming back to his bed. Xigbar snarled, rolling his eyes in disgust.

"Really? You're just going to hide in your bed like some heartbroken teenage twit? What the fuck happened to you, Dilan? For christ's sake, you're acting like an idiot over this whole affair. I'd laugh if I didn't find it so fucking stupid. You know, you're seriously lucky, compared to me right now; the guy you found isn't traumatized, isn't psychotic with a dark past or anything, he's just...actually, kind of normal, compared to the rest of us." Xigbar paused.

"Wait, sweet Christ, how the fuck did that happen? Isn't being insane like a _requirement _for being a Nobody? I'm almost sure it's right up there with actually losing your heart; probably just right under it. 'Must lose your heart to the darkness; oh, and you must also be absolutely barking mad.'" He teased, hoping he'd get at least a small laugh from Xaldin. He did get a small smile, at least, and for the time being, it was enough. Xaldin sighed, sitting up.

"Look, I know running off wasn't the best of ideas, but I can't deal with this, Xigbar. I really, really can't." He murmured. "I mean, I was hoping for someone...you know, ah...less, well, tenaciously vivacious and suave." He said. Xigbar raised an eyebrow.

"Apart from the fact that I, who as I suppose I must not really need to remind you of, am a fucking _scientist_ and did not understand that last sentence, what _were _you expecting?" He asked. Xaldin looked away, but Xigbar caught the hint of a blush coloring his cheeks.

"Well, beautiful midnight hair...indigo eyes, or at least some shade of blue...a sad or lonely past, something I could help them with...oh, and, considering this is you I'm talking to, I'll be blunt; well-endowed." He groaned. "Oh, and female. I was expecting a female." Xigbar snorted in amusement.

"Okay, yeah, I'll grant you that he had to be a bit of a let down." He said. Xaldin rolled his eyes, shooting him a glare. Xigbar just smirked. "Oh, but you act like I was expecting a twentysomething little blonde musician to end up being my soulmate. Look, I don't think we're supposed to expect who we fall in love with; partly because that's half the fun, and partly because whether or not this is a small gift from Kingdom Hearts, if it is, she was being kind of a dick about the whole matter. It's like a curse. Only, well, it's a good kind of curse, like being cursed with awesome." He said. Xaldin raised an eyebrow.

"I believe you had a metaphor there for awhile. Would you like me to go and fetch it for you?" He teased. Xigbar glared at him, tugging on one of his braids. Xaldin hissed in pain, swatting his hand away. "Braig, don't tempt me to pull your ponytail, I'm not in the mood to sink to your level." He said. Xigbar laughed.

"My level is more fun." He purred. Xaldin rolled his eyes. Xigbar groaned. "Anyways, back on to the main subject; there's only one thing you need to know right now. This tugging feeling hasn't failed yet. I mean, Saix is apparently about three years old when it comes to romance, and Xeh is...well, Xeh, but you can tell they have a connection, can't you? And Demyx and I, well..." He grinned.

"So quit angsting over whether or not you've ever been loved like this before; the point remains that there's a very high chance you'll be loved like that now. You're going to get your time, Dilan; I told you things would start to settle in, and so they have. Now go try to learn to accept it." He said. "And if I come back in and you're still in here writing whiny, self-pitying poetry, I'm going to kick your ass from one end of this world and back again." He promised. Xaldin rolled his eyes.

"Thank you, Xigbar. I suppose I'll be off, then." He muttered, but there was a smile on his face and clear gratefulness in his eyes as he left the room. Xigbar smirked.

"My work here is done." He murmured. "Now, the question is, is that enough good karma to get laid tonight? I think so." He purred, disappearing into the darkness to find out for himself if that was indeed the truth.

* * *

Xaldin decided to hide somewhere else; after all, you could argue that Luxord could theoretically find him in the library...emphasis on theoretically, mind you...

He sighed with relief, sinking into his favorite chair; a massive amethyst couch that had been overstuffed and squished to the point of resembling a giant marshmallow rather than a couch. It didn't matter to him much; besides, it was big enough to support him, and that was all that mattered, really.

Xaldin fumbled for a book on the desk beside him, taking a random one off the table and opening it. He sighed in relief; it was _The Canterbury Tales, _which was a favorite of his. He skimmed it until he found one he hadn't reread until he could recite the story from memory, and settled into the couch, mind relaxed and at ease.

The darkness announcing a Nobody's arrival swirled up behind him, but he paid it no mind. Probably just Lexaeus or Zexion, taking a break as Vexen tried his hand at mitosis again.

"Oh, so there you are. Even with Xigbar's help, it took me a damn long time to get my way up here." Xaldin froze, almost hearing the smirk in the other's voice. "Hope you're going to be worth it."

As he turned around to see Luxord leaning against the doorframe, wicked grin across his face, Xaldin was already thinking up creative ways to murder Xigbar and dispose of the body without anyone noticing.

"Unless your intention is to observe me as I'm perusing my novel, my presence here will surely fail to be worth your while." He said coolly, turning back to his novel. Luxord laughed.

"You're so bloody predictable; even I wasn't expecting everything Xigbar told me to fall into place to the letter, but hey, makes my job easier." He leaned over the couch, flipping the book over to read its' title. "Chaucer? Well, can't say I expected anything less from such an intellectual. Anyways, if you're not up to making my presence here worthwhile, suppose I'll do it for myself and go look through the bookshelves, hmm?" Xaldin dug his fingers into the book, feeling them indent the cover as he grit his teeth.

"Seems like a wonderful course of action." He muttered. Luxord grinned, thoroughly enjoying the thrill of the hunt. When was the last time he'd done something so complex? Had to have been awhile. Perhaps this tugging feeling really did signal good things in his future.

"I'm glad you approve. Any recommendations?" He purred. Xaldin shrugged haplessly, mentally pleading for Luxord to let him be and read in peace so he wouldn't have to consider how wonderful that firm, insistent tugging felt around him.

"Depends on what you're considering." He said quietly. Luxord's grin grew wider.

"Well, call it feminine, but I'm in the mood for a good _romance _novel, I believe. You know, one with a dashing prince with a fabulous sense of how to handle a woman and a stubborn, closed-off virgin princess who won't admit her own loneliness to herself, and perhaps we'll throw in an morbidly obese evil queen or two, or a world-destroying genetic abomination of a megalomaniac with delusions of grandeur and godhood that dresses like a prostitute. Heard that was a good one." He purred. As he turned around to disappear, Xaldin felt a gentle hand stroke the back of his neck teasingly before Luxord disappeared into the shelves.

He put the book down, realizing he couldn't even concentrate on the words now. Why bother? When his mind was racing like this...when his chest was throbbing and pulsing...oh, no, Chaucer was for another time. He sighed, curling up on the couch and closing his eyes. He needed to get away from this. He couldn't keep going on like this. He was going to go mad.

Another soft swish of leather greeted him as he felt someone else's weight settle on the couch. Xaldin tensed, before realizing another gentle hand was stroking him. "Oi, babe, when you keep yourself that tense, you're going to end up lashing out one day." Luxord said quietly, and Xaldin realized he didn't just mean physically. He sighed.

"I did not wish to offend you by not replying to you and offering a suggestion; my mind is simply stuck in its' own machinations right now, and diffusing them to focus on another often takes me a few moments of meditation and redirecting of my mental energy." He said, trying to ignore the gentle hand on his thigh. Luxord rolled his eyes.

"See? Winding yourself up. It's not a good thing. You're a lancer, right? Xigbar told me. He also felt it necessary to divulge the fact that you have a tendency to go berserk in battle...is that how you've always let out stress? Looks like it; don't tell me otherwise, for god's sake. You wrestled crocodiles." He snapped. Xaldin was started to feel more and more wound up and cornered, but that put him on the defensive.

"Well, Lexaeus was alongside me when I indulged in such a pastime." He muttered darkly. Luxord snorted.

"I don't care about who else did it. If you told me the Queen of Ghana wrestled alongside you and then invited you back to her palace in the mountains, I would not give a damn. The point remains that you are going to break. Actually, break isn't the right word, is it?" He leaned in slightly, and Xaldin could feel the pulsing and tugging becoming almost painful as he looked up into his eyes.

"You're going to explode. Like a damned maelstrom, a tornado. I wish I could say I didn't care and I'd sit back and watch the show, but I can't. I do care, and I can't stand by. So if you're trying to push me away just so I won't get caught up, don't bother; I'm not going to leave even when the storm hits, so right now, silvertongue, your best bet is just to calm the storm now." He finished, taking the book he'd picked and disappearing into the darkness.

Xaldin screamed in frustration, storming out of the library and down to the lab, desperate to hide in the catacombs.


	34. The Sound of One Hand Slapping

(This chapter is short because Vexen is awesome in it and I didn't want someone to steal his spotlight. I've missed writing him as the grumpy team dad, so I had to compensate by giving him his chapterly crowning moment of awesome. God I love him.

Anyways, yes, he dope-slaps Xaldin. While that may be a bit of a surprise, Xaldin was a bit...out of it, and besides, it's not like he would've expected it from _Vexen_. (Possibly from _Xigbar_, but...)

HEARTLESS TECHNOBABBLE YAY. Although Neoshadows do geniunely behave like that in KHII:FM, but we don't get that because we're not JAPAN. :I

God seriously the hell with you Japan I want my Final Mix and my coded battles, you jerks! I want to fight Roxas! :(

Vexen does _everything_ for science. :3

Don't own, don't care, don't think I'll ever own, don't think I'd want to.

Dedicated toooo...eh, all of you. :3 LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READING AND REVIEWING~)

* * *

Vexen winced, shoving more useless organ tissue in the trash and mopping up the blood pooling around the corners of the table. Damn it, this mitosis better pan out...if this chance was even just slightly possible, he was going to jump at it with all his skill. However, considering the past few attempts had literally blown up in his face, he was willing to take a break for a bit.

As he turned to head back to the desk and finish his coffee and bar of chocolate, (one that he knew full well had come from Lexaeus; if nothing else, the larger scientist was normally subtle about his affairs, but the ten boxes of chocolate and the note that read _'clean your room' _weren't exactly Holmes material), he heard someone storming down the steps. He paused, recognizing the heavy breathing and frustrated growls.

"Dilan?" He called up. "Are you all right?" The younger scientist burst into the lab without a word and snatched up one of his old journals, opening it and beginning to read aloud frantically.

"_If we assume the darkness within Heartless is malleable, the possibilty of the purebloods being able to travel in liquid-like forms is almost a given; gaseous forms may be possible and will be looked into further_," Vexen watched as he gripped the bindings of the book, and called out to him again.

"Dilan? Dilan, answer me-Xaldin, damn it, are you there-"

"_The more humanoid a Heartless becomes, the more fond of hunting in packs it seems to become; see Neo and Novashadows for further details. If diagram of their anatomy is cross-indexed with the anatomy of a basic Heartless, the analyzation of both creatures concludes that perhaps the humanoid Heartless were stronger in origin, and may possibly have come from human beginnings," _Xaldin's voice was flat, rushing through the words like a machine as Vexen lost his patience.

"Dilan, _cut it out!" _Vexen knew he'd regret it later, but the only thing he could think of doing right now was to slap Xaldin across the face and snatch the book out of his hands, tossing it aside. Xaldin looked up at him, his eyes blank and uncomprehending for a moment before they refocused and shone with horror.

"Even?" He murmured. Vexen glared at him, burying his hands in his hair and sighing in exasperation.

"All right. So, since I believe our experiences as of late have been one trauma conga line after another, I'm assuming you are in need of counseling. I am also assuming, considering you fled right to your journals, that you came down here to remind yourself of who you were. However, with that, I can assume that who you were is part of what's causing this in the first place. Along with that, I can assume that since I'm the only one here, and that, god help me for doing it, I still love you and the rest of this insane lot, I'm going to help you out, even though I am clearly stating right now, with a modicum of self-awareness about me as I finish this little monologue, I really, really am not cut out for this job." Vexen sighed. "So, what's the problem?"

Xaldin stared at him in awe. "You are something else, Even." He murmured. Vexen snorted.

"I get that a lot." He muttered.

He helped Xaldin stand and ruffled his hair affectionately. "Seriously, Dilan. Come and help me with this damn artificial restructuring and talk; I needed someone to work with me anyway, and if Xigbar's newfound infatuation, Xemnas' lack of the _benefits_ of his newfound infatuation, and Zexion and Lexaeus going on strike until I'm only ten pounds underweight are anything to go by, I'm going to be stuck without help for awhile." He muttered bitterly. Xaldin tried not to smile as he reached into his coat pocket and unfolded a small piece of paper.

"Chocolate raspberry cheesecake recipe. I'll start preparing it tonight." He said, listening to Vexen's groans of frustration with only a_ faint _sense of glee as he pulled up a chair and began to make annotations on his notes.

By the time dinner rolled around, Xaldin and Vexen had made at least a bit of progress, but Vexen had decided to scrap mitosis for a bit, considering the lacking success of his past attempts. Just as Xaldin opened his mouth to attempt at an excuse to stay here during dinner, Vexen snorted with digust. "Don't even bother, Dilan. You're coming up with me. I'm interested to see how this tugging sensation will play out between you and the new Nobody as well." Xaldin stared at him in shock.

"You're telling me you're forcing me upstairs for _science." _He said, stunned. Vexen shrugged.

"Well, yes. I don't see why this is such a shock, Dilan, honestly." He replied, raising an eyebrow. Xaldin shook his head.

"I just...I...oh, whatever. That cheesecake is getting made with fudge now, mind you." He snapped. Vexen sighed, following him up the steps and towards the dining room with a few muttered oaths.


	35. Metaphors

(I love lunatic metaphors. They're all I MAKE. It always makes sense to me, but apparently I do not think like everyone else. Oops. ^^;

Although that shouldn't surprise you. xD

Poor, oblivious Saix. He honestly believes that whenever he's not around, Xeh and Axel are BFFs. The image is kinda hilarious, no lie.

Zexion is a brat. In the Mooniverse, once he meets Yaya, he softens up, but pre-Senayax Zexion is a total, total snarky brat. Not that he lost it with Yaya, mind you, but finding love softens you up a bit. :3 Demyx is just a spaz. :D

Poor Luxord. Xaldin doesn't like fanfiction. :(

...Uh, taking that to its' logical conclusion, would he hate this? I don't know! D: OH GOD MINDFUCK D:

Shit, I just Eraserheaded the crap out of myself.

Eraserheaded=new verb. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Anywayses, yep yep yep, new chapter and stuff. :3 Cupid as a big game hunter=lol.

Don't own KH, bla bla bla can I stop doing this SERIOUSLY I HAVE BEEN WRITING KH SHIT FOR LIKE ALMOST A YEAR NOW LET ME HAVE SOME PEACE.

Dedicated to my art teacher, who is like one of the nicest ladies I've ever met. :D)

* * *

Luxord sighed, shooting a worried glance at Xigbar, who simply grinned. "Dude, he's going to have to come to dinner. Don't tie yourself up in knots because of this, okay? Besides, the key here is to back him into a corner, and you looking like you're the one getting put in your place isn't going to help." He told him. Luxord shook his head.

"Good lord, you're making it sound like I'm hunting him." He muttered. Demyx nodded.

"Well, you are! You're hunting him with love!" He said cheerfully. Xigbar raised an eyebrow, giving his lover an odd look. Demyx huffed. "You know, like Cupid, if Cupid was a big game hunter." He paused. "Um, with cards."

"Is there a moratium against torturing metaphors at the table?" Axel asked, earning a smack from Demyx as he hissed in indignation. Xemnas groaned.

"They don't bleed, so I'm afraid I must refuse enacting that policy, no matter how convoluted the metaphor turns and twists." He replied. Axel shot him a glare.

"Not even to get into my good graces? After all, Isa is only still in your bed because I'm not bodily removing him, mind you." He shot back. Xemnas glared right back. Saix, thankfully, was still in the adjacent kitchen, pulling the baked bread out of the oven. The others simply watched the argument, amused. "Because as far as I'm concerned, my _Superior_, you're just a puppy-stealer, and I don't take kindly to anyone taking _my Isa _away from me." He snarled. Xemnas snarled right back.

Thankfully, before the argument escalated, Saix walked back into the dining room with a basket of the bread. "Master? Lea? Would you both move over, please? I'd prefer to sit between the two of you tonight, if that's all right..."

Xigbar sighed, watching the vicious glares start right back up as Saix settled in between them, completely unaware of the current situation as he handed Demyx the basket of pastries.

* * *

Xaldin sighed, opening the door as quickly as possible, knowing Vexen was glaring at him from right behind him anyways, preventing a quick escape. He tried to slip in quietly, but Zexion, damn the little brat to hell, called out with an amused purr, "Xaldin, Vexen, how good of you to join us."

Right. Xigbar and Zexion now. That grave was starting to get larger by the moment.

"Ooh, Luxord! Look, Xaldin's here! Come on, I saved you a spot!" Demyx piped up.

Okay. Grave getting larger by the nanosecond, apparently. At this rate, the castle would turn into a ghost town.

Xaldin sighed, backed into the corner once again as he slid in between Demyx and Luxord, Xigbar flashing him a wicked grin from Demyx's other side. Xaldin sunk right down to Xigbar's level and settled for making a crude hand gesture as he reached for a plate. Unfortunately, this just made Xigbar laugh harder. Xaldin ground his teeth together, trying desperately not to look at Luxord, pretending that he was simply by himself in the library.

"That book was wonderful, by the way." He purred. Xaldin resisted the urge to strangle something, (preferably something cute and small, like a Moogle or a kitten), and simply nodded. Luxord grinned. "I loved the ending, too; the stubborn princess falls right into the arms of the dashing and _very _handsome prince, and the princess finally realizes she was being blockheaded about the entire matter and accepts his marriage proposal, begging for him to rid her of her foolish and pointless virginity. I assume they consummated their marriage in the epilogue, but really, I didn't wish to spoil the good parts for myself..."

Everyone else at the table had already dissolved into giggles, excluding Saix, who was simply eyeing his master with a look of confusion etched across his features. Xaldin resisted the urge to murder everyone at the table as he replied, "I've read that novel, and I can tell you the ending; the princess strangles the prince and slits her own throat, culminating in a murder-suicide at the dinner table. The rest of the people at their wedding reception dropped dead of heart attacks. The. End." He snapped. Luxord sighed.

"I hate it when novels end on such a downer. Oh well, there's always the chance of a rewrite...I've dabbled in fiction writing, and I always manage to find my characters a very satisfying ending. This novel could stand a few alterations, don't you think? Perhaps someone could contact the author." He murmured. Xaldin shuddered, trying not to break. This wasn't supposed to go like this. He couldn't survive this. Less than one day of this insanity and he was about to break down and cry at the table.

"The author would very much like to be left alone." He said softly, pushing his plate away and standing up, leaving the room in silence. Everyone looked at each other for a moment.

"I didn't know Xaldin wrote." Demyx said, interrupting the silence. "Was his book any good, Luxord?"

Luxord shrugged, a flicker of sadness passing across his features.

"I don't know." He murmured. "He won't let me read it."


	36. Past, Present, Future

(I WRITE SHORT CHAPTERS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

Also because I don't like cramming in two events that provide major character development, which the next update provides as well. It makes it seem rushed.

Uhhhh so that's it. Also, for those of you wondering why Fill the Moon hasn't been updated, it's simple; I fail at pacing. I have to pad the crap out of the next few chapters, because I didn't realize they'd be so goddam SHORT!

ALSO; my new goal!

Either One Great Circle gets over 1000 reviews, or I go over 1000 chapters. Yup. I'm dead serious and dead set on it. :D So don't worry, this series won't end for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNG time. :D

Hahaha, that's mostly it. I have to catch up on BBS playing today, I have noooo time. FUCK SCHOOL. :I

Lexaeus doesn't get enough love. Even NOMURA hates him. (wtf.) He's a sweetiemuffincupcakepie and I loves him. :( Stupid Nomura. He's so awesome! Give him his chance to shiiiine D:

And that's it! Xaldin is totally emo and it's great, lawl. I know it might seem OOC, but he really did LOATHE, like absolutely LOATHE the idea of love in the actual KH. So I just kind of added drama to it and THERE YOU GO.

Annnd Even basically being the Trekkie nerd in his basement, raising the dead (hamsters) and building cyborg crocodiles and the like amuses me so damn much. It shouldn't, but there you go.

You know something? In the Mooniverse, I consider it canon that the residents of Radiant Garden had fallout bunkers just in case Even did something stupid again. I bet property is REALLY CHEAP there.

Don't own KH!

Dedicated to Lexaeus, because he needs the love.)

* * *

Xaldin cursed himself for every tear that dared to slip down his cheeks, but he felt so cornered, so absolutely hopeless...all he could do was hide. He couldn't keep doing this. Why wouldn't Luxord just leave him alone? This was going to kill him; or at the very least, kill his dignity.

"Are you sure you're not confusing dignity with barriers?" A soft voice interrupted him. He looked up to see Lexaeus in the doorway, concern written across his features. Xaldin shook his head.

"Does it matter?" He snapped. Lexaeus nodded.

"I would assume so. May I come in?" He asked. Xaldin sighed.

"I don't think I could ever refuse you. Come, I'm certain I can further ruin my standing in your eyes by crying like a complete idiot." He muttered. Lexaeus sighed, taking the chair away from his desk and sitting down.

"I am inclined to agree with you about the way Xigbar and Luxord are handling thing. Braig was never one for subtlety...and also, if nothing else, I don't think anything would ruin your standing with me at this point, my brother." He murmured. Xaldin managed a small smile.

"At least someone sane agrees with me." He said, sitting up on his bed. "I'm starting to feel like I'm just being hunted down and toyed with. Like the mouse being torn to shreds by the cat, still gasping for life as the cat sits and waits for the mouse to try to run, just to snatch its' hopes of escape up at the last minute." He said bitterly. Lexaeus raised an eyebrow.

"Is today just a day for intricate metaphors?" He mused, not realizing he'd said it out loud until Xaldin gave him an odd look.

"What do you mean?" He asked. Lexaeus shook his head.

"Nothing, it's nothing." He said quickly, trying not to get off subject. "Although I do understand where you are coming from with it. But believe me, their intentions are good. They're just both far too eager. However, that doesn't mean you're not at fault..." Lexaeus sighed.

"Well, not _fault_, exactly. Even was more than happy to spurn romance, and in fact, I pity whoever comes along with the link to his soul, because they are in for the fight of their _lives_, Ienzo was simply too young, and Braig was..." Lexaeus trailed off as Xaldin smirked.

"Basically a giant tease." He said, finishing his sentence. Lexaeus winced.

"Well, yes. He did it on purpose though; Xehanort at least did it accidentally..." He shook his head. "But I understand where you're coming from because you and I had the same problem. We were barely privileged enough to look through romance's window and watch its' goings-on, and actually _participating_ was beyond out of the question." He shook his head.

"Not to brag, but I believe I'm accepting this better than you are. I can wait for whoever will arrive and give me this feeling; even if no one ever shows, when I have received my heart...well, I can move on. Perhaps find someone then. I'm patient enough to do it. But the operative phrase in my plans is _move on." _Lexaeus appraised Xaldin with a glance so calculating and understanding that he felt he'd been stripped to the bone as their eyes met.

"Do you really plan to move on, Dilan?" He asked. "Or are you just going to return to who you were?" Xaldin said nothing. Lexaeus continued.

"Our old life died a long time ago. We might be able to return somewhat; I believe Xehanort even has plans to try to make peace with teacher and return home once our grand project is finished, but I'm not certain. At any rate, while what we were has made us who we are, we cannot go back to our old lives. Ever. We might be able to return home, but would you really wish to start our old, long-gone lives up again?" He murmured. Xaldin simply watched him as he continued.

"If anything, they were what led us to the darkness in the first place. We can't discard all these lessons we've learned and things we have experienced just to rush back to familiarity and comfort. It was never a perfect comfort; far from it. I can't promise you that when we get our hearts, we'll have learned all our lessons and life will be perfect, but at the very least, we will be wiser than we were before, and definitely better as human beings." He said.

"Do you really want to return to being who you were? Alone, driven into the darkness, believing yourself scorned by the fates? You have to move on, Xaldin. You don't have to discard yourself, but your _life _is dead and gone. Accept it and move forward as a better person." He whispered. "Stop living in the past."

Xaldin watched him for a long, slow minute. Something was working itself out behind his eyes, and Lexaeus observed it, knowing it would take him time to figure out what he wanted to say.

"What does Luxord have to do with that? Can't I move on by myself?" He replied. Lexaeus gave him a sad smile.

"If you reject him, you'll have never moved on at all. You're only going to repeat the past." He told him. "Don't make a past you hated your future, Dilan." He murmured, turning away and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him with a soft click.

Xaldin stared at the door for a minute. His mind whirred with a few thoughts, but he brushed them away. He acted on instinct this time and disappeared into the darkness, letting it take him wherever it pleased.


	37. The Huntress, The Moon, The Chalice

(Everyone say hello to Hunnybunny, my new Mac~ :D I named her after Pulp Fiction's Hunnybunny, make no mistake. It just...caught on. ^^; I call her H.B. for short, though. xD

Okay, there's a reason I haven't updated in metric fucktons of time. No one except Kirai, who is always a loyal reviewer, (thanks, hun!), has reviewed. (Fee, you sorta count, but I meant before I pestered you.) This made me sad. I know some of you might be busy, and that's fine, but just drop a review of even, "good update, I hope we get another one soon!" I'm not annoyed by "Update soon!" because it actually DOES make me update soon. xD

Sssyeah that's really it. Beware, though; I doubt any of you are prudes, but a TON of sex jokes, (or lack thereof :3) abound in this chapter. So don't read this if you're at school/have parents over your shoulder. Although considering all the black comedy, violence, abuse, and cursing that also abound through this story, I doubt any of you DO read this around polite company.

ALSO because I have NO LIFE, I'm making Kingdom Hearts fingerpuppets.

...Yep.

It'll be the famed trio and the Org, natch. Sunny Jim and Senayax of course feature, but that's a given. I might do Aqua, Terra, and Ven, but that's only if I really lose all semblance of dignity and just turn into a crazy nerdy lunatic. Although to be fair, I think I got on that train a long time ago. ^^;

So that's really it! I hope you enjoy this chapter! :D

Oh, before I forget; these aren't exact interpretations of the Tarot, for the purposes of this story, obviously. So I know full well I'm not entirely correct, but please forgive me for taking a bit of literary license.

Don't own KH.

Dedicated to...hm, how about everyone? :D)

* * *

Xaldin opened his eyes to find himself in the library. He wondered why for a brief moment, but shrugged it off as he stared at the shelves. This was like a second home to him within the castle, so that probably had something to do with it. With a soft sigh, he sat down in his chair and closed his eyes.

"Thought I'd find you here." Xaldin looked up to see Luxord in the doorway again, slightly more somber this time around. Xaldin just watched him for a minute. "You spend most of your time here, huh, silvertongue? Is it easier to hide in here? I'd bet, with all these books."

"You had a Tarot." Xaldin said, the words startling him even as he spoke. Luxord paused for a minute, looking at him carefully. Xaldin knew he was assessing him, and for once, he might have some footing; something that he wouldn't use to back him into a corner with.

"Yes. I did; I do. I spent some time as a gypsy, you know. I was always a wanderer. Becoming a Nobody hasn't changed that tendency much, I'll grant you that. When you go so far away and wander for that long, you learn a lot. There's a lot you can't learn about in books, silvertongue." He said. Xaldin didn't take the bait.

"If you're here, show me." He ordered. "I've never seen a Tarot deck up close." Luxord continued to watch him. Neither looked away from each others' gaze as the room seemed to shrink around them.

With an almost audible snap, the tension suddenly broke.

Luxord shrugged. "Eh, what the hell. I haven't got much else to do, since Axel and Xemnas are off having a pissing contest and Demyx is doing god-only-knows-what with Xigbar." Xaldin managed a smirk.

"I don't think god wants to know." He shot back. Luxord snorted.

"Then he shouldn't have let himself get all omnipotent in the first place." He replied. Xaldin surprised himself by laughing. Luxord said nothing, but the corner of his lips tilted up in a crooked smile.

"Right, so...good god, what the hell are all these chairs for in the first place?" He said, surveying the room. Xaldin realized with a start that he could answer without wanting to hide from the man. He was going to take this sudden burst of confidence and milk it for all it was worth, damn it.

"They're ours. Xeh's, Xigbar's, mine, Vexen's, Lexaeus', and Zexion's, I mean. The Apprentices. We...took a lot from our old home. I figure if Axel and Saix spend enough time in here, which Saix is most likely to do, considering he's become Xemnas'..._literal _bitch, assuming he really does have lupine blood, which, believe me, is more than likely, they'll both find chairs. This place has a way of...doing that, somehow." He said. Luxord nodded.

"So if I spend enough time in here, I'm going to wake up one day, arrive here, and find there's just a chair here, innocuously sitting there and waiting for me to go sit in it." He said. Xaldin raised an eyebrow.

"And in a castle filled with such delightful objects as a staircase leading to nowhere, doors that exist only during certain lunar cycles, rooms that we are halfway sure only pop into existence when we actively think about them, architecture that would give M.C. Escther a run for his money, and a semisentient sitar, you are questioning magic chairs." Xaldin said. Luxord paused.

"...Well, when you put it like that..." He snorted. "Right, I guess that is a stupid thing to consider. But why doesn't the staircase go anywhere?" He asked. Xaldin shook his head.

"I didn't say it didn't go anywhere. I said it led to nowhere." He replied. Luxord stared at him.

"That's the same thing." He said slowly. Xaldin snorted.

"Not here it's not." He shot back. Luxord snickered.

"Right, fair enough. Anyways, you said you wanted to see my Tarot...it's pretty old, mind you. Got it from one of the women in one of the caravans I traveled with. Hand-crafted by some monk who went insane, and when they walled him up, he had nothing better to do than illustrate these things, I suppose." He said. Xaldin raised an eyebrow.

"Do you think pagan practices such as the Tarot might have been why he got walled up in the first place?" He asked. Luxord snorted.

"If they were, I have to give him credit for sticking to his guns." He said. Xaldin nodded, realizing with a start he'd just had an actual conversation with Luxord without wanting to run and hide. Just as he realized it, he noticed that there was a gentle, purring thrum in his chest again, one that only intensified the more he watched the other man shuffle his deck.

"Right...so I pick the first five, and the cards basically tell your fortune. I've never tested if it works to the letter, but it's usually pretty accurate. However, considering the massive amount of interpretation that goes into each card, you can definitely argue its' only true because there's so many meanings you can apply to it retroactively." He said. Xaldin nodded.

"Which makes sense; once the events have happened, its' quite easy to wax poetic about them with hindsight as a guide." He replied. Luxord nodded, flipping over the first card. He looked at it and raised an eyebrow.

"Well, can't say I was expecting that card first." He muttered, laying it down on the table for Xaldin to see. He groaned the second his eyes fell on the card.

"Wonderful." He muttered. Luxord winced.

The card itself was edged in gold, ebony ink forming intricate patterns around a dark cloak. No face or real body could be seen, but through the shimmering silver outlining the folds of the cloak, the words _memento mori _were wound between them, creating the lines themselves.

"Dead language. How appropriate." Xaldin muttered darkly. "So you're telling me the first card you pull for my future is Death." Luxord nodded.

"Well, most likely not a literal death. The most commonly accepted interpretation is that it means the death of a habit, practice, or way of life. You know, "death as a new beginning," and all that. The more correct term for the card would be rebirth, but that isn't as ominous, so I assume that got left on the cutting room floor." He quipped. Xaldin snorted.

"All right. I suppose I can accept that easier." He murmured. _Lexaeus, if you can read the future, at this point, I don't believe it would surprise me. _He thought, shaking his head in wonder. Luxord took the next card and set it down on the table.

"At least this one looks pretty." He said, letting Xaldin see the card. It was outlaid in silver this time, a single pale circle set over a navy blue background interspersed with thin gold spirals. He nodded.

"It does. I'm assuming this is the Moon?" He asked. Luxord nodded.

"Yeah. Correct as always, silvertongue." He teased. Xaldin simply smirked. He continued on, tracing out the spirals with his finger as he did. "The Moon is an odd card. Considering it controls the tides, it can represent both changes and constants. You could look at it two ways; the endless cycles either represent how the moon represents a state of change throughout its' entire existence, or you could argue that since that cycle hasn't changed since the dawn of time, it only represents a constant. Personally, I like the first interpretation, since while the cycle itself might not change, the tides it's connected with do."

Xaldin nodded, keeping his eyes on both cards as Luxord took out the next card. "Hm. This one I can't say I was expecting, but I must admit, it's amusing." Xaldin was confused; the card he showed him was a simple card outlaid in crimson with a golden cup on it. Luxord grinned. "It's the Chalice. There are times when it represents sacrifice, either of a habit or notion, or even a person...or times when it represents virginity."

Xaldin shot him a vicious glare from across the table. Luxord, to his credit, simply shrugged. "Well, I didn't pick the card; the Tarot's the one you want to argue with, not me. Or, if you like, we could go hunt down that walled-up monk and you could give him a piece of your brilliant mind." He teased. Xaldin continued to glare at him. Luxord barely restrained a laugh as he picked the next card.

"All right...next card...oh! This one I don't get often, so feel special, silvertongue." He set it down, and even though Xaldin was still smarting from that crack about his virginity, he gasped softly when he saw the card.

It was beautiful, probably the most beautiful in the whole deck. It was outlined in silver, with a woman standing in the center of the card against a deep, dark blue background. Her skin was so black it almost faded into the blue of the card, but the bright silver hair that spilled out in strands that looked like silver rays of the sun kept it framed and away from the sky. Two white eyes watched them both with an air of feral knowledge, daring them to challenge her. Her tunic was a deep, creamy shade of white, silver outlining the folds of the fabric; it appeared to have been caught in a sudden breeze, and it fluttered across the bottom of the card, spread out in a fan. In one hand she held a bow; in the other, a spear.

"Diana." Luxord murmured. "Goddess of the hunt, the moon, wild animals...and, erm..." Xaldin looked up at him.

"Please tell me you're not going to finish that sentence the way I am inclined to believe you are." He said slowly. Luxord winced.

"She made it a tenet of her hunters to never lie with a man, if that's what you're thinking." He replied.

Xaldin just put his head in his hands.

"Well, in all fairness, since this is, in my opinion, a very rare and special card to draw, she also symbolizes inner strength, a desire to win, strategy, and cleverness. But yes, chastity and virginity are another two of her finer points." Luxord told him.

Xaldin sat for a minute in silence.

"If this wasn't your Tarot, I would like you-and the deck itself, at this point-to be aware of the fact that I would have already started a bonfire upon its' very, very flammable papery flesh, and roasted marshmallows on the tips of my lances to add insult to its' injury as the flames slow-roasted it towards an agonizing death, after which I would summon a hurricane to get to work on scattering its' remains to all four corners of the earth." He said.

Luxord just drew the next card.

He bit back a sudden burst of laughter as he set it down. "I think the deck took your threat very seriously." He said. Xaldin looked at the card and resisted the urge to scream.

Two people-Xaldin wasn't sure of their gender, didn't really think it mattered-lay in a field made of emerald-colored outlines against a golden sky. The card itself was outlined in a sharp shade of crimson with smaller golden details across the trim. The two people in the field were, without doubt, engaged in carnal acts...and they looked quite pleased about the whole ordeal, making his embarrassment even worse.

"The Lovers." Luxord said, only confirming Xaldin's fears. He shrugged. "Well, it doesn't have to mean sexually, you know. It can symbolize emotional committment...although in this case, that'd kind of be a longshot...or even just a connection between two people." He stopped, realizing the weight of what he'd just said.

The two of them looked up at each other. Their eyes met; indigo against sky blue. The tugging in both their chests intensified, became a harsh pulling sensation. Neither of them dared to breathe.

After a minute, the tugging settled down to a gentle thrum again. Xaldin shook his head. "Well. The cards themselves are beautiful, at any rate..." He trailed off, realizing Luxord was going over the cards again, stunned. "Are you all right?"

Luxord shook his head. "No." He said. "Xaldin, while I was in Port Royal, I pulled this set-albeit in reverse order-for one other person." He murmured. Xaldin tilted his head slightly, interested.

"Who got this fortune?" He asked.

Luxord looked him straight in the eye again. Xaldin was surprised by the sudden jolt throughout his entire body, like his heart would've leapt if he'd been human.

"I did." He replied.


	38. Courtship

(I cried today.

Not because of yet another horrible tragedy in my life, (I get them a lot), or my horrible parents, (yeah that happens a lot too), or whatever...

But because I just got such...goddam wonderful reviews. Like...being told that this is your favorite fanfic or that it makes you happy...you have no idea how special that is to hear. I'm not really...well, not to sound like a whiner, there are times when my life can be god awful. But I keep writing because that's all I really can do, sometimes...and knowing that my writing means as much to other people as it does to me...as a writer, it makes me happier than I can describe. I owe y'all a lot of thanks and praise.

Okay, goopy sappy smooshly fluff aside, Luxord is a stalllkkerr. HUNTING HIM WITH LOVE AND CARDS. (ON MOTORCYCLES :D)

Vexen's so immature sometimes. :D For a scientist who prides himself on controlling his "emotions," so to speak, and being all prideful and shit, he sure throws bitchfits a lot. xD And it was so cold Saix almost left Xemnas to go sleep with Lea omfg :O

TEAM XEMNAS OR TEAM LEA, SAIX, YOU CAN'T HAVE BOTH /shot/

(For the record, I'm Team Tyler's Van, because it tried to stop the menace before it started. Stupid Sue-per Speed and Sue-per Strength.)

I think I gave Xaldin such a vanity complex about his hair as a response to the whole dreadlocks thing. Dreadlocks are smelly and gross. No dreadlocks for him. Seriously, the whole point of them is you don't wash your hair and then sculpt it, at least in most cases. And for me, who treasures her silky, shiny shiny shiiiiny hazelnut-colored hair that has natural sparkling blonde highlights and barf, that is like heresy.

Dyeing your hair purple/pink is a-okay though. :D

And that's it! I just want to thank you all so so so so soooo much because this means so much to me you don't even know. /hugs for all of you/ I'm really lucky to have people who are so willing to speak up! Keep up the reviews, they make me :3~

Don't own KH dur.

Dedicated to Vic Mignona, because I WENT TO GO SEE HIM AT A CONVENTION YESTERDAY :D I wrote him a thank you note for being basically awesome and was blushing and stammering like a 'tard, because I always get really shy around people I admire. If Quinton Flynn shows up at the winter convention, I think I'm just going to burst into tears. ^^;

Also, dedicated to every last one of you. Everyone reading this fic, everyone who gives me help with this fic, (JULIE I LOVE YOU), everyone who encourages me, (DUB/FEE/JULIE/JACKIEBABE/LIAH/RIZA I LOVE YOU), and to all the people who have been a part of my life ever since I came on to this site as a nerdy, insecure twelve year old. Writing these fics has not only helped save my life, but it's found me a boyfriend, some of the best friends I'll ever have, a support network of people I love, and a creative voice that gives me a path in life. Thank you to everyone who knows me and considers me a friend, because don't worry, I love you too.)

* * *

The two of them had left the library after that, trying to figure out for themselves what had happened. Xaldin wasn't sure what to make of it, but part of him could just accept it as fact and let it be, considering that the Tarot, as he'd said, was so vague...but another part of him was roiling with joy and shock, pleased by the results for some odd reason. He groaned. Even his own soul was betraying him at this point.

He sighed, trailing his fingers across the cool marble walls as he walked downstairs. He needed a snack of some sort; something stupid and fattening and utterly indulgent, because he had every intention to sit in his bed and just let himself not even bother thinking of the insane turmoil of just _today_. He laughed. In one day, his entire life had been flipped upside down, and he wasn't sure if he really wanted to complain.

He opened the kitchen door and headed for the refridgerator, still in thought. After all, what was there to complain about, really? Luxord would just be another Nobody, like Demyx or Xemnas or Lexaeus or Xigbar or Saix or Zexion or...he groaned. No. Don't even think about him, thinking about him will only lead you further down that confusing road.

But even when he wasn't thinking about him, that tugging in his chest wouldn't leave him alone. Xaldin groaned, wrenching open the fridge door and rifling through the inside until he found a leftover slice of the last cake he'd made; chocolate with raspberry fondant filling? Just about the best binge food he could come up with right now. He pulled it out, grabbed water from the tap, and disappeared into the darkness, congratulating himself on not thinking of Luxord for almost a minute.

The second he left the darkness, the cake was set down on the bed as he hissed a stream of very creative oaths.

Once he'd calmed down, he undressed with ease, tossing his coat aside and climbing into bed, rearranging the cake and water to sit on the bedside table as he laid back down against the pillows and unbraided his hair quickly, yanking a hairbrush through it before finally relaxing with a sigh of relief. Once he settled in, however, he felt something digging into his back. He sat up and turned around in bed, realizing there was something on his pillow. He picked it up carefully, eyes wide with shock as he observed what had been left there for him.

The five cards from the Tarot were now spread out in his hand with a note attached. He didn't recognize the neat, small, almost mechanical handwriting, but he knew, without even having to look at the note, who had wrote it. "_Keep these. They'll lead me home when you need me."_ Xaldin wrinkled his nose, confused. Well, that was cryptic and unhelpful. As he looked down at the cards, Diana's hollow eyes stared back at him, judging and accepting at the same time. He managed a smile. Well, they _were_ beautiful.

He set them down with care next to the cake before picking the plate up and enjoying his hard-won prize, thoughts slow and unfocused as he did what he'd thought was impossible for today and relaxed.

Xaldin had fallen asleep eventually, book still in his hands. He hadn't been able to cover himself with the blankets strewn across his bed, and the castle could get cold at night, (especially if Vexen was still awake and usually even colder when he was in a sour mood.) Tonight was one of those nights; the mitosis was still failing at every turn, and Vexen, (though he'd never use the phrase, finding it too vulgar), was _pissed the fuck off. _

As a result of his temper, the castle had turned into a subzero wasteland, and the other members had reacted accordingly. Demyx, Xigbar, Lexaeus, and Zexion had all taken refuge in Axel's room; even Saix, for the first time in his life, had briefly considered ditching his master and going to sleep next to Lea, who was warm and smelled like gingersnaps as an added bonus.

Of course, it was only a passing thought kicked away to the back of his traitorous mind within an instant, but he did insist his master bring out all the spare blankets and stuff a pillow under the gap in the door, dressing them both in thick flannels before cuddling him close and practically trying to crawl under his skin in an attempt to get warm.

Luxord was the only one who was still awake; and in all honesty, the only reason the man wasn't asleep on his feet was because he had one last thing to do. The others had offered him a spot in Axel's room, and he'd aquiesced; however, Xaldin was somewhere in the castle still, and considering he hadn't headed for Axel's room, two things could be wrong.

One; his little hurricane could be too boneheaded to ask and make the first move. If that was the case, Luxord would cheerfully beat that notion out of him before dragging him right down to Axel's room. Or...two, well, he could have already fallen asleep. If that was the case, well, he ought to at least check on him; he probably wasn't prepared for Vexen's hissy fit, and hadn't thought to stock up on blankets.

He couldn't lie; the idea of finding out where Xaldin slept was what had definitely sweetened this deal for him. But on a more honest, straightforwardly sweet ideal, he did just want to see if the lancer was all right; according to this insistent tugging and what Demyx and Xigbar had told him, he was responsible for Xaldin's safety, and Luxord did _not _back down from a challenge like that one.

He let the tugging lead him on through the castle; he'd realized right after, (of course), he'd scoured all the floors of the castle that the tugging sensation was like a two-way leash; he could just let it lead him to Xaldin since the feeling wouldn't let him stray too far, especially when he was focused on the worry that Xaldin might be hurt or distressed in some way.

Luxord snorted, banishing the thoughts with a wave of his hand. No, Xaldin looked like a man who could take on an entire army with a single one of his lances. He smirked. Although, there was that adorable nervous frustration he could find within the man...however, that might just be because of his own charm. He rather liked the idea of that; the only one who could fluster Xaldin should indeed be him! No other man or woman had the same skill and charm with him and his awkward graces and clever ideas and sharp intellect, and he_ liked it that way_.

With this, Luxord had already claimed Xaldin as his within his own mind, and god help anyone, (including Xaldin himself), who might disagree. He let himself hunt through the castle far more arrogantly now, knowing he wasn't just looking for another person; he was looking for his pet, his prize.

After he'd prowled almost the entire upper section of the castle, the sensation overwhelmed him on the third floor; right back where he'd started from in the first place. Luxord resisted the urge to scream. Right. Xigbar had mentioned the third floor was where most of them slept.

Trying to hide a very prominent twitch in his eye, he stormed down the stairway and past all the doors, letting the harsh throbbing, leaping, and tugging in his chest lead him to a stop right in front of a navy colored door. He noted with a mix of amusement and impressed shock that it had neat, tendril-like spirals etched in silver across the borders and grooves in the wood.

"Beautiful." He murmured out loud, startling himself. He sighed. It was indeed stunning; another depth to Xaldin? Had to be. He'd explore that side of him later. At any rate, he had to go in and check on him. Luxord turned the doorknob, doing his best to stay quiet as he opened the door slowly, relieved it didn't squeak or screech with use. He crept in, surveying the entire room until he heard the soft, almost sighing breathing. He turned, realizing that Xaldin was asleep against his pillows with a book in his hands and a half-eaten slice of cake on his night-stand.

Luxord raised an eyebrow. Odd, but he had certainly come into his life with a bang, and probably threw his dragon for a loop almost immediately. Speaking of that, he needed a pet name for his prize. He didn't like switching so often; he'd come up with something in the morning. Right now, his only concern was making sure Xaldin was prepared for their newfound home living in a deep freezer. He came closer to the bed, restraining even his breathing as he crept ever closer, realizing with a start that he was almost tripping over the mattress as he looked at Xaldin, peacefully asleep and blissfully unaware of him.

He observed the man carefully, taking note of all the odd details of his face; of course, those sideburns, which were taunting him with the urge to reach out and just _pet _the damned things, but even the smaller things, like a few scars darting across his face and shoulders, (from the crocodiles? Luxord would've laughed, except he was afraid that he might be correct), and his almost freakishly gorgeous eyelashes. Dear god, no man had eyelashes that thick and beautiful, especially not one as stupidly ripped as Xaldin!

Well, there was the fact that his hair seemed about as thick and luscious, (he'd assumed the lancer sported dreadlocks, until he realized that Xaldin would sooner die than treat his hair in such a manner; those were braids, and expertly crafted ones, at that), but still! He groaned. Okay, new topic, one that would move him back on subject-the fact that the gentle caress of a single finger down Xaldin's cheek clued him in to the fact that he was absolutely frozen.

Luxord winced, realizing the blankets were underneath his muscular frame; getting them out would no doubt awake him, and Luxord didn't really want to explain why he was in the room in the first place to a half-asleep and pissed off Xaldin. He would just have to sneak over to the closet and pray to whatever fates controlled luck that there would be spare blankets in his closet.

Within a minute, Luxord had already assembled two thick down comforters, and another thick wool cover. He shook his head, slightly amused and more than a bit amazed. Evidently, Vexen had been doing this for quite some time; perhaps they'd just become used to it by now? Luxord sighed. Come to think of it, Xaldin had been an Apprentice with Vexen...he would've known how to deal with him. So it wouldn't be such a shock; yet that wasn't what was bothering him.

As he crossed the room, he realized with a start as he looked back down at Xaldin, still content and dreaming, that he knew next to nothing about who the lancer had been before they'd met. He shook his head. Perhaps he'd reassess this situation.

He began to lay down the blankets while he thought, brain whirring as his hands went through the mundane motions and tasks for him. All right; Xaldin was obviously as new to the love game as a ten year old boy at a burlesque show, and the lack of a heart probably didn't do him any favors in that department.

Next, he came from what had to be a vaguely fantastical setting; he recalled Xigbar mentioning a king in one of his stories, and something about a princess. He had no clue what to _do _in romance, which was obvious, but he was most likely a _complete _romantic; he didn't have any confirmation of this, but even the tiny shreds of evidence he currently had bore that theory out for him.

He set down the wool cover and shook his head. Perhaps...he wanted something more...real. The second he'd tried actually being honest and open with him, Xaldin hadn't snarled or backed down like he'd thought; he had opened up and actually bantered a bit with him. He had seemed...interested. Content. It had made him so damned pleased to see him smile.

The realization hit him with a start as he dropped down the last fold of the blanket. Indeed, that was the case; he'd been as smitten as a teenage girl when he'd seen that smile. Luxord finally realized Xaldin just wanted to be _courted. _Like a real-life blasted princess! He shook his head again, stunned.

Xaldin did honestly want a real relationship. He had no idea...what he'd been doing...

Did he _himself _know what he was doing? Was that really how he wanted to try to enter the first real, serious relationship he'd ever had, heartless or otherwise? Luxord shook his head. No, oh no. He was a gentleman at his (metaphorical) heart, by _god_, and if Xaldin really wished it, he'd court him like a damned _proper man_ of _high fucking class. _

Luxord bit back a snort of laughter as he stood up straight, tugging the book gently out of Xaldin's hands and placing it on the table. He caught the title and smirked; _The Canterbury Tales. _Nothing stopped him from a good read, so it seemed.

He sighed in relief, brushing a gentle palm against Xaldin's forehead, pushing a few loose strands of hair away from his face. "Sleep well." He murmured. "Tomorrow, I swear you'll be courted like you deserve."

He disappeared into the darkness, already trying to figure out the best way to prepare his new ideas as he headed for Axel's room.

Xaldin shifted under the sudden warmth, startled by it even in a state of half-waking, but realizing with delight it was a good feeling, settling back in under the covers and falling right back asleep.


	39. Connection

(Yeah, to get this out of the way, I LOOOVE the Beast, but he's still a jerk around this point in the story sssyeah.

FUCKING CONNECTIONS MAN HOW DO THEY WORK

My connection, as you can see, has shit the bed. (According to my dad.) So I might be spotty with updates for awhile. :( I'm horribly sorry! It sucks tit for me too! D: NO TVTROPES I AM DYING HERE D:

Also that's why I'm not answering PMs. jsyk. ACTUALLY speaking of, if you have any questions about FtM/the rest of the Mooniverse, let me know in a PM, and I'll get back to you eventually. :D

Also I love how Vexen's like "oops almost gave you all hypothermia sorry gaiz loljk :3" It just...fits him. He probably KNOWS it's a big deal, but like, he has more important shit to do, like raising the dead and making giant robots. Shit, he needs a giant robot. I will call him Sparkbeta and he will be my babeh. :D

I can see him doing this, too. That's so awful. He'd so be that little kid with the Bill Nye the Science Guy lunchbox and glasses (probably taped unless he'd met Lexaeus by then) who was the obnoxious bitch about trading Pokemon, considering their IV values and Egg Moves, making potato-powered alarm clocks, and preaching the gospel of Star Trek and Doctor Who to the snot-nosed masses with their Dora the Explorer backpacks and Tonka truck tee shirts while building makeshift hovercars out of the springy-car rides. Don't tell me you can't see that now.

...Fuck, now I'll have to put them all in kindergarten for a chapter. God dammit.

MOVING ON, ooo scandalous :O BAD BEAST. MURDER IS NOT NICE. :I

Annnd so yeah, more random shit you can expect later on; a Very Special Kindergarten Episode, a High School!KH AU parody, (seriously, why are there so many of these fucking things, I only need one or two good ones that aren't SORIKU AKUROKU ZEMYX even though I ship the first two of those pairings I'm picky I dunno maybe I'm just sick of the same fucking plot over and over bla bla bla) and I'm stopping there because otherwise I'll never shutup about my hatred of the damn things.

Except for a few special few. Also a few that I won't name that suck so much fucking ass that I just sit there and laugh. If you want the name of THOSE, I will be happy to provide in a PM. They're good for plenty lulz. :D

I also plan on Christmas and Halloween specials, mostly because I had Halloween costumes for all of them already, and also because Ansem as Santa=hilarious. Also a ton of other random crap; trust me, once I'm done with the prequel-prequel, all ideas of continuity fly out the window. ^^;

Also BBS I reject your Even and substitute my own. Basically just because he needs glasses. Being a Nobody fixed his eyesight. Whatever. Maybe he just wanted to look intellectual.

...Or maybe I just think glasses are super hot. THE WORLD WILL NEVER KNOW.

Jesus christ how long has this author's note gone on. One more thing I suppose, which is my now-chapterly plea for reviews. :D They make me so happy. All of you make me happy. I love you all. :D

Dedicated to people who make me happy. :D)

* * *

The night went by quickly; no sooner had Luxord headed back to Axel's room and passed out than it seemed he was awake and looking around the room. He winced. The castle had gotten much warmer since he'd awoken; evidently Vexen was starting to feel a little better about whatever had driven him that far up his mental walls. He stood and stretched, realizing everyone else was starting to stir around him.

"Mornin', boys." He called, opening the door and poking his head out, testing the air outside the room. "Vexen's in a better mood, by the way. You can get up now."

Zexion groaned, rolling over and glaring at the sudden burst of light. "Better mood or not, I'm not getting up until someone makes coffee." He muttered, rolling back over and using Lexaeus as his pillow once more. Luxord looked at everyone else, still in states of half-waking, and rolled his eyes.

"You're all such addicts." He muttered. Zexion raised an eyebrow.

"And you're an addict enabler, what's your point?" He snapped back. Luxord shook his head, realizing that fighting with a bratty teenager before he'd been pacified by a cup of coffee was a exercise in futility. He left the room and headed downstairs to the kitchen, hoping that with Zexion's freakish sense of smell he'd be able to smell the coffee brewing. He was not carrying it up to them like a bloody maid, he could tell you that.

He opened the kitchen door and walked in, setting the coffee beans to grind before sitting at the table. He enjoyed the silence for a few minutes before Vexen stormed in, notes clutched to his chest as he sat down at the table and slammed them on the surface, muttering darkly to himself as he adjusted a diagram.

"Morning, Vexen." Luxord said, keeping his voice level as he felt the air chill around them both. "Coffee's brewing, if it matters to you." The scientist nodded, scribbling out notes with a violent fervor.

"You are aware Xaldin is already out?" Vexen said, startling Luxord out of his thoughts. Luxord shook his head.

"Actually, I wasn't. When did he leave?" He asked. Vexen snorted with amused contempt, pointing at the clock.

"Considering I am well-aware none of you went to bed until about three in the morning-my apologies, by the way; it's become a natural reaction, considering the element I wield-but at any rate, it's two in the afternoon. Xaldin, having woken up at a sane hour, already went on a mission." He replied. Luxord felt himself slowly going numb, the only sign that his body was still responding was that harsh tugging in his chest.

"Where." He said, his harsh voice managing to spook Vexen enough to set his papers down. Right; that link usually led people to get...possessive. Well, he didn't seem to be too agitated, and he did have an answer.

"Beast's Castle. He's been going there for quite some time now-" Vexen was cut off as Luxord stood up, opening the door to the kitchen.

"Tell Xemnas I'm going there after him." He called back, slamming the door shut as he disappeared into the darkness.

Vexen stared at the closed door for a few minutes as he tried to process what happened. Then he simply shrugged, going back to his notes and yelling, "The coffee's getting cold!"

Very predictably, the rest of the Organization was at the door within two minutes, tops.

Luxord whistled in awe as he gazed up at the massive castle. "Wonder if Xeh took any cues for our castle from this..." He murmured, thinking out loud as he walked up the marble steps. "I mean, why wouldn't you? This place is pretty damn glitzy..." He took out the mission reports he'd snagged from Xaldin's room on the way out and flipped through the information on the castle.

"All right...the Beast seems pretty dangerous, stay away from him...Belle is a Princess of Heart...makes sense, I guess...right, here we go, silvertongue drew a map." He muttered to himself, taking it out and consulting it. "All right then, I'm at the entrance, and he usually recons near...the ballroom. Aww, how cute. He really is a bloody romantic." He tried not to laugh as he stowed the papers away in the inner pockets of his coat, opening the door and sneaking inside the castle.

He warped time around himself to make sure anyone who passed him by was either a minute too early or a minute too late to catch a glimpse of him, heading down the main hallway and consulting the map again. "Turn left..." He murmured, following the map's instructions carefully.

As he headed down the next hallway to the ballroom, he realized there was a door slightly ajar beside him. He shrugged, curiousity getting the better of him as he pushed open the door and stepped inside.

The room itself was bland, boring, and altogether uniform; quite odd for a castle. However, that could just have been because what caught Luxord's attention could outshine an entire city.

He took a hesitant step forward, reaching out towards the bell jar slowly, as if he feared a caress in the wrong direction might break it. The rose underneath it glowed brighter, responding to his fingers pressing gently against the glass surface. He shook his head in amazement. "Beautiful." He whispered.

He flipped through Xaldin's mission reports to see if he could find any information on it, still keeping a close eye on the rose. "All right...a symbol of the Beast's need to find true love...to break the curse he cast upon himself. He must love and be loved in return..." Luxord shook his head. "Sounds oddly familiar..." He trailed off. He might take a chance to tease Xaldin about it later, but only after the lancer had opened up to him more. One step at a time.

He read on, raising an eyebrow at the next entry. "Huh. So Beast has tried to convince Belle to love him, but his temper and distrust keep getting in the way...but he's got a strong heart. Ah. That's what Xaldin's here for, I guess..." He shut the notebook and focused his attention back on the rose.

"A symbol of love...of the need to take a chance, to cast off your self-inflicted curse. The need to find another person's love...the desperation for acceptance." Luxord said, watching the rose intently. "That's what you are, aren't you?" He smirked. "Thank you, love. I do believe I found his new nickname..." He tapped the bell jar once more, giving the rose a small salute before opening the door and heading back down the hallway, trying not to laugh as he imagined Xaldin's reaction.

He turned down another hallway and saw a small set of steps leading up to a massive set of double doors. He checked the map again; it was the entrance to the ballroom, all right. He listened carefully for anyone else coming along, and after getting no response, opened the door and stepped inside.

He looked around and bit back a gasp. The room was beyond beautiful; even if Xaldin hadn't been a romantic, he would've probably staked out here. It was just...he shook his head in shock. The ceiling was painted with some intricate portrait; angels, perhaps, or a starry sky. The walls were windows, showcasing beautiful gardens that shone with colorful flowers even in the perpetual night that seemed to ensnare the castle in its' grasp. The ballroom floor was inlaid with gold, encompassing the entire room's floor, open and waiting for the next dance.

Luxord walked down the set of stairs in front of him, still taking in the scenery. He hadn't expected something so beautiful in such a dreary castle...but then again, there was always a silver lining; this ballroom just happened to be the perfect candidate for that title. He traced the carved railings, fingers following the patterns as he realized he'd reached the ballroom floor.

He looked around; no one else was there, so it was probably safe to talk. "Xaldin?" He called out. "Are you all right?" His words echoed around the room, and he winced as he got no response. "Babe, are you here?" He asked, once more receiving an empty room for his troubles. Luxord sighed. Okay, so he was probably around the castle; it wasn't as if he could just stay in here all day...

But that wasn't it; what was worrying him more now was, even as he understood he really couldn't feel the concern, there was something throbbing through his whole body that made him feel almost sick to his stomach, something that screamed to him that Xaldin was in pain. He had to know why.

Luxord disappeared into the darkness, determined to keep searching.

The Beast paced the rose's room, hissing in disgust at the scent of the darkness. Someone had been here; in this castle, in his room. Belle was safe, locked away from him while he was entrenched in this madness; it couldn't be her. She knew better. Someone had been in here; someone who reeked of darkness, anger, and hate. He needed to track the scent. He had to hunt.

If Beast had taken the time to sort out the scent from his own emotions, he might have realized that the darkness wasn't what contained the anger and hate; in fact, within the darkness there was only curiousity and something that might, had it not been a part of the darkness, be called love. However, he could only feel the rage at seeing his rose defiled, and as such, he stalked the castle with murder in his mind.


	40. Blood on the Dance Floor

(Hunnybunny is a big ol' perv.

Guess where the only place I can get connection is?

My room.

My parents have been leery for YEARS of me having my computer in my room. Now they have no choice. :D And I can look up yaoi in peace thank godddd I AM READING ABOUT BUTTSEX MOM GO AWAY does not a good conversation make. Oh life.

ALSO; trying to update FtM tomorrow. I swear. Just don't kill me if it's only a 2k chapter please. D:

Also, to Jan, WE DON'T LIKE YOUR KINDA CANON FOLK HERE. /shot/ Haha yeah if it's not obvious, I take huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge liberties with the KH canon. OHWELL LIVE AND LEARN.

So yeah, poor Xaldin. Why do I like making you suffer. Why.

The answer is probably "he's kinda hot when he's in pain," but don't let HIM know that. :D (Actually more than kinda hot but he's hot in the first place so w/e)

Poor Beast though. He didn't know...

SILLY LUXORD, ROSES ARE FOR BEASTS~

So yeah, he saw that opportunity and went after it like a Boy Scout on a snipe hunt. Oh it only gets better later. :D

Also because of aforementioned buttsex perusings, (wow, that may be the weirdest thing I have said/typed all day), I did start that IT'S JUST CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT I SWEAR lemon series. ^^; I have Xig and Dem's CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT I SWEAR finished and Luxord and Xaldin's IJCDIS halfway done. I'm debating actually publishing them, but hey, share well-written buttsex with the world, as I always say. :D

Also I love how my spell check goes DOES NOT COMPUTE at "buttsex." I should make H.B. learn it but I'm not a total horrible monster.

Also totally random but OMFG I am reading H.P. Lovecraft at the moment and ffff lol H.B. Lovecraft. Why are all my computers names based off of that man's mythos? The world will never know.

And I think that's it. I always DID like that ballroom, too...

Don't own, derpderp.

Dedicated toooo umm haha Snowy, for good luck in her new story! :D)

* * *

Xaldin sighed, gazing out at the sky from the balcony. He was bored beyond belief, but he welcomed the familiar mission, all the same; since he knew the castle so well, he knew all the nooks and crannies where he could sit and think. He hadn't bothered with deep, introspective thought today; the sky was just too beautiful. He would contemplate Luxord and his newfound sensations later, when the night wasn't so perfect and the air wasn't so beautiful.

He tried to fight down a smile as he surveyed the gardens just under the balcony. They had been well-tended by the servants, even after they had been put under the spell, and he admired them for their dedication as he gazed down at the leafy, emerald green vines and bushes that burst with color. One of the breezes stirred the flowers, and a loose one flew off and landed in his outstretched hand. He raised an eyebrow at the tiny blossom before summoning a wind to cast it away into the night sky.

He looked back through the window; the ballroom was still empty, but being inside it always enraptured him. Plus, he had to complete his rounds of the castle before he could return home; he needed to teach Xigbar how to make a cake for Demyx, so he ought to be quick.

He opened the windowed doors and headed out onto the inside balcony, unaware of the Beast heading up the steps and into the ballroom as he jumped down from the balcony and started off towards the center of the dancefloor.

"_You_." Xaldin jumped, composing himself quickly as he looked up at the source of the harsh, vicious snarl. The Beast was at the foot of the steps, his glare hideous and filled with rage and hate as he looked at Xaldin. "You smell of the darkness." He stated, flexing his claws. Xaldin couldn't help but laugh, tone dark and condescending.

"Yet another fool who makes obvious statements." He replied. "Did the curse corrupt your brain as well as your body?" He didn't expect the Beast to be a worthy foe; he had fought many men who were of the same build, but had the training and cunning to back up their strength, and defeated them all. However, the Beast was being driven by blind rage, and as he dove at Xaldin, he realized he'd torn a gash in his arm.

He swore, summoning his lances as he felt blood pour down his arm. He looked up at the Beast to see his eyes gone wild and feral with berserk rage, his hair standing on end as he dove at him, claws outstretched.

Xaldin dodged, just getting the slightest grazing from his claws as he skidded backwards. He summoned a harsh wind to knock the Beast back before he called upon a few Dragoon Heartless to keep him busy while he tried to heal.

Once more, the Beast's volatile rage had made him insanely strong; he dispatched the Dragoons with ease and focused back on Xaldin. "_You touched my rose!" _He screamed, his voice a hideous mix of human and animal as he pointed at Xaldin. "_You corrupted my last chance!" _He began slashing at Xaldin with his claws, catching bits of skin and cloth each time he got a blow in. Xaldin felt blood pouring down his chest as he bit back a wail of agony and lashed out with a lance. The Beast caught it with ease, tossing it aside.

"She'll never love me now." He said, all the fury in his voice condensed into a cool tranquility. "And it's all your fault."

Xaldin barely even had a chance to blink before the Beast tore him open, his chest warm and sticky with quickly-pooling blood gushing out of a wound across his chest. He managed a single strike with his lance, tearing the Beast's cheek open and causing him to finally flee before he screamed with pain, collapsing to the floor.

* * *

Luxord was so engrossed in his task of finding Xaldin that he barely noticed the pulsing and throbbing within him getting stronger and stronger. It was only the sound of a horrendous roar and a scream of agony that snapped him out of his thoughts. Once they did, he felt the beating and thrumming almost shaking him so hard he could barely stand, and the second he indentified that agonized scream, rage exploded across his vision and washed it in red as he bolted for the source of the noise.

He slammed open the doors of the ballroom and stared in shock, unable to comprehend the situation for a single, horrifying instant before he finally realized who the blood that was spilled out all across the floor belonged to.

"XALDIN!" His voice was harsh, rough, torn from his throat as he bolted down steps three at a time to reach the lancer. He could feel rage pumping through him, and the only thought he understood properly right then was that someone had made his silvertongue bleed, and they were going to _suffer. _

Xaldin had already stripped off his coat and begun to make a tourniquet; he had been in plenty of fights, after all, and crocodiles could leave some nasty bites behind. He hissed with pain, realizing he wasn't applying enough pressure on the wound.

However, that problem was solved when he felt a second pair of hands pressing up against the side of the gash.

"You tell me who did this." Luxord snarled. Xaldin stared at him in amazement, the shock overtaking him for an instant.

"Luxord? Why are you here? What possessed you to come find me?" He asked. Luxord ignored him, putting more pressure on the wound as Xaldin's ribs protested with a shriek of pain.

"I said tell me who did this." He ordered. "Either you tell me, or I'll kill everyone in this castle _just to make sure I got the right one." _He snarled. Xaldin's eyes widened. He would have protested, but Luxord seemed serious. He sighed.

"The Beast. I was...well, I underestimated him. His rage drove him, and he became far more monstrous; I had not prepared myself adequately to spar with what I could have honestly called in that moment a killing machine." He winced. "You must understand the blows to my pride...I am a lancer, a warrior. The wounds don't hurt as much as the blow my dignity just took." He muttered.

"Your dignity can heal." Luxord snapped. "But if you don't help me bloody stop this sodding bloodflow, you aren't." Xaldin nodded, reaching a hand over to help him apply pressure. "Now give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill him. And it ought to be a good one, because otherwise, whether your dignity likes it or not, I'm going to be the one instigating the next fight here, and I swear to god it will end horribly for that son of a bitch." He snarled. Xaldin sighed.

"Because...well..." He shivered. "He thinks I corrupted his rose; the symbol of the love he needs to find. He said...it had been corrupted by the darkness...that now Belle could never love him." He looked away. "Regardless of our lack of hearts, I found it...pitiable. He was lashing out, Luxord, like a cornered animal. His intent was not cold blooded murder." Luxord had frozen in place, cloth still pressed against Xaldin's chest. Xaldin tilted his head. "Luxord?" He called out.

"I almost killed you." He said slowly. Xaldin's eyes widened.

"I, I-excuse me?" He asked, unable to comprehend what Luxord was saying. The other man shook his head.

"I...touched the rose. I was the one who corrupted it...not you. I...oh Christ." He whispered. "Xaldin, I'm so sorry." Xaldin was stunned. The shock further numbed him when he realized Luxord was crying. "God damn it...god _damn _it, silvertongue...you're too much." He shook his head.

"Fine. I failed this time. From now on, you are not going out on a mission without me by your side within this castle. And don't you dare try to protest," he snapped, seeing Xaldin already opening his mouth to do so, "because I know that the second I drag your bleeding, sorry carcass home to Xemnas and Vexen, the Superior will not only agree with me, but the odds are very much in my favor that he will insist I go on every _other _mission with you as well. Now, ask yourself; who would you rather deal with? Me, or the combined forces of Vexen and Xemnas?" He murmured. Xaldin's eyes narrowed.

"You are absolutely evil." He shot back. Luxord's only reply was a smirk. Xaldin sighed. "All right, all right...it seems you've explored the castle somewhat, and I could use some company." He muttered. Luxord's smirk grew wider as he helped the lancer stand and led him into the Corridor of Darkness.

* * *

The two arrived home within a few minutes, Luxord dragging him off to his room and opening the door. "You go take a shower and wash all that blood off. I'll be back with bandages and potions." He said, pushing him towards the bathroom door before disappearing, not even giving Xaldin a minute to complain about being fussed over.

Luxord reappeared in the infirmary, yanking a roll of bandages and some stuff that looked vaguely like healing potions off the shelves, heading down the hallway. He was lucky enough to catch Xigbar heading down to the kitchen, and beckoned him over. "Xaldin just got the holy living daylights ripped out of him. Long story. Go find me whatever he binges on when he thinks no one's looking and bring it to his room." He ordered, heading down the hallway and down the steps before Xigbar could react.

He sighed. He'd ream Xaldin a new one for being so stupid later. Right now, he needed to go do what Luxord asked. He headed down the steps after him, going right for the kitchen.


	41. Chances Taken

(OH BRICK JOKES I LOVE YOU

Also to Jane, (why did I think Jan I watch too much Hellsing) it wasn't me being angry, lawl. I like to think they're SOMEWHAT in character, but no fic featuring romance with the Org could be entirely IC, mm? xD

...All right I admit it Xaldin in pain is hot. I think it's the fact that he's ridiculously strong and yet has that wonderfully yummy inner soft side and is so shy and nervous with Luxord and omfg come here and let me cuddle you to death fffffff

So yeah, the bottom line is, I am a dirty perv and a terrible person. And I enjoy every minute of it.

...I'm pretty sure my seat in hell has one next to it that's open if there's any takers. Hell's where all the cool people go, anyway. :D

One of my friends loves The Great Gatsby, so that reference is for him. :3 LOVE YOU~

God seriously how much of this fucking chapter is Xaldin fanservice. Like all of it.

Also I need to throw up that IJCDIS fic, but I need a quick title. ^^; I'll come up with something!

Also, replying to reviews as fast as I can; apparently I can't do it from school. I tried, and well...

"Fanfiction was blocked. Reason: Innappropriate Sexual Material."

I laughed so hard I swear I almost peed myself. Oh school. You only know the half of it. :3

So thank you SO FUCKING MUCH FOR REVIEWING. EACH REVIEW IS LOVED BY MY HORRIBLE EGO AND WILL BE REPLIED TO ASAP. :D

Annnd that's it! Don't own KH~

Dedicated to Xaldin. Sorry about making you suffer, yo, it's just kinda hot and all. ^^;)

* * *

Luxord opened the door to Xaldin's room, noting with satisfaction that the water was running in the shower. He set the potions down and noted with disgust that the coat Xaldin had worn was torn to shreds and soaked with blood. He grabbed ahold of it and tossed it out the window; if the Dusks didn't eat it, (did they eat? He wasn't sure), then the void would consume it for him.

"Xaldin? Are you done?" He called out, opening the bathroom door. The water stopped, and he heard the squeaking of shower taps.

"Yes, I'm fine." He replied. "There's a towel on the edge of the sink; can you bring it here?" He asked. Luxord shook his head in wonder. He was just asking for it.

He opened the shower's frosted-glass door and bit back a laugh as Xaldin _squeaked, _actually _squeaked _with shock, snatching the towel up and shoving him out the door. Luxord couldn't help it; he started laughing, ignoring Xaldin's sputtered protest as he purred with delight.

"Well, silvertongue, you satisfied all my quota, it seems," he teased, "black hair...blue eyes...oh, and well-endowed, too."

He wasn't expected Xaldin's reaction at all. The lancer slammed open the door and stared at him with huge, horrified eyes.

"Are you serious." He said. "Are you honestly serious?" Luxord nodded, unsure of what to say. Xaldin continued to stare at him for a few seconds.

He slumped against the shower door and burst out in hysterical laughter, tears shining in his eyes as he shook his head, trying desperately to compose himself. Luxord raised an eyebrow, holding out his hand for Xaldin to grab onto as he pulled him up to stand up straight. "Xaldin? Are...are you all right?" He asked, honestly stunned by the lancer's actions. Xaldin shook his head.

"I'm fine. It...it was nothing, Luxord. Did you bring the bandages?" He asked. Luxord nodded, watching Xaldin walk out of the bathroom and deciding some things were better left unexplained.

Luxord followed him into the main room, watching him lay back on the bed and fighting down a purr as he realized how truly and properly well-muscled the lancer was. His chest was smooth, and even through the cuts, Luxord could see the ripple of muscle as he shifted on the bed, wincing in pain. He had unbraided his hair in the shower, and it lay sleek and spilled out over the pillows. He fought the urge to play with his hair and kiss his chest, but it was tempting him like mad as he took the bandages in his hand and began to unravel them.

"Put the potion on first...it'll adhere the bandages better." Xaldin murmured. Luxord snorted.

"You have some experience with this, don't you, my silvertongue?" He asked. Xaldin grumbled, shaking his head in disgust.

"_Your _silvertongue?" He snapped. "And since when did I become a silvertongue?" Luxord simply smirked, his smile wicked and delightful as he daubed potion across the large gashes spread around his chest, thankfully spared from having to answer as Xaldin whimpered with pain.

Xaldin let him bandage the lancer's own wounds, quietly watching as his fingers worked with clear skill and practice as he stroked the skin and checked the bandages after he'd finished, satisfied with his work. "We'll change them tomorrow. It's not too late; only six or so. Xigbar should be bringing you something, and I'll go get a book for you. Did you finish the _Canterbury Tales?" _He asked. Xaldin nodded.

"Yes...if you find something else, I would be grateful." He murmured. Luxord watched in amazement as Xaldin treated him to an honest, geniune smile. "It is much appreciated, Luxord." The other man nodded, unsure of what to say as he left the room.

"How's the story going, Luxord?" Xigbar asked, balancing the plate and giving him a calculating glance. Luxord managed to flash him a wicked grin.

"Quite well, thank you." He replied, disappearing into the darkness.

* * *

"Well, looks like you went through hell and back, kid." Xigbar stood in the doorway, and Xaldin winced, seeing the expression on his face. The Freeshooter stepped forward, setting the plate of cheesecake down before grazing a deceptively gentle finger across the bandages. Xaldin winced. He was in so much trouble.

"You're in so much trouble." Xigbar stated. Xaldin rolled his eyes.

"Or, well, you would be...if you hadn't let Luxord clean you up." Xigbar told him. Xaldin started, looking up at Xigbar, utterly shocked. Xigbar smirked. "Oh come on, that was the oppurtunity of a lifetime! And you took it, Dilan! You really did! I'm so proud." He teased. Xaldin shook his head.

"He didn't give me a choice." He grumbled. "And now he wants to go to Beast's Castle with me every time I go." He pouted, something he thought he'd outgrown; however, given the situation, it seemed appropriate. Xigbar barely managed to keep a wicked smirk from blossoming.

"Well, that's pretty bad, kiddo. I'll talk to Xeh; maybe he'll just give you missions somewhere else." He purred. Xigbar had to choke down giggles at how easily Xaldin accepted that, smiling up at him gratefully.

"Thank you, Braig; I'll finally be able to rest." He murmured, laying back in bed. "At any rate...he's coming back with a book; just tell him to leave it on the bedside table, I ought to let the potions work their magic." He told him, squeezing his hand and smiling gratefully before closing his eyes.

Xigbar shook his head, brushing Xaldin's hair back from his forehead with a gentle caress before opening the door and shutting it with a soft click behind him.

Luxord was already standing outside, tapping his foot and holding the book up with impatience reflected in his eyes. Xigbar grinned. "Oh, he told me about that little proposition you made him promise to adhere to; nice work. It's been like one week, and you've already gotten pretty far." He sighed, getting serious. "Keep going, got it?" Luxord snorted with amused contempt.

"You act as if I have a choice." He murmured. "Or as if I'd want to stop now." He opened the door. "Right, he wants it on the bedside table; I'll be in the lounge with Axel and Demyx. Your boy's waiting for you, so hop to it; I'll meet you all there." Xigbar nodded.

"I have an errand to run first, but I'll go to him soon, promise. Now move it." He told him, pushing him across the threshold and disappearing into the darkness. Luxord rolled his eyes at where Xigbar had stood before padding silently over to Xaldin's bedside.

"My rose." He said it out loud, savoring the words and sighing in satisfaction. "Yes. Perfect, silvertongue. You are _perfect." _He laid the book down on the table. "_The Great Gatsby. _You've marked this one over a good million times, I bet; all the pages are worn and dog-eared...but hey, you probably want something familiar." He sighed. "Sweet dreams, my rose. I'll be back later."

He shut the door behind him, trying to hide a triumphant smile.


	42. Commitment

(Oh Xigbar. You're so evil. :D

Also ew I'm with Xemnas on that one. Although I shouldn't be, being a yaoi fangirl, but lol just the way he said it. xD

For the record, the XalLux IJCDIS is halfway done. I'm doing them in chronological order, so I think after that it's MarVex, (SHOCKING), XemSai, then LarxLex. OMFG HETERO HOW CAN THIS BE xD

MANGLED SHAKESPEARE REFERENCE IS MANGLED SHAKESPEARE REFERENCE GO ME

Hugs make like everything better. Seriously, good move, Luxord. He knows the ways of the Hug already. Good padawan. :D

And wow, IT'S FRIDAY FUCK YESSSS :D

And that's mostly it! Haha isn't this a short author's note? OMFG.

Although wait, FUCK YOU WHEELMASTER FUCK YOU STOP TELEPORTING YOU SHIT GET THE FUCK BACK HERE AND LET TERRA KILL YOU also wtf it respawned its' health when I wasn't looking HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

Also Terra you're a fucking moron. DURR HURR HURR LET'S TRUST THE GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE EVIL SPOCK DURR HURR HURR LET'S LISTEN TO THE OBVIOUSLY EVIL LADY jesus christ you might be cute but your brains are like tapioca. That's why I like Ventus better. :D

Also Sleeping Beauty holds horrible scarring memories for me. Not the dragon, oh no, that was COOL.

My mom is a horrible human being. Just...go look up the Claiming of Sleeping Beauty. It's by Anne Rice.

I was four.

Reaction was initially, "Ohey it's Sleeping Beauty! Wow, I guess I'll read this!" then by page three, "oh what is the prince doing to her? Why isn't he kissing her?" and page four "OH GOD WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN"

I think I mentally checked out when someone got raped with a statue-penis.

I don't want to know what possessed my mother to even own those. I don't want to even ARGH.

So I was actually a huge Maleficent fan because I thought she was just trying to save Aurora from being raped horribly and repeatedly. Oh dear god in heaven.

...Right. So.

Don't own Kingdom Hearts, since I would've made Terra less derpderp.

Dedicated to Liah; HAPPY BIRTHDAY~)

* * *

"Hey, Xeh, put Xaldin on permanent duty for Beast's Castle, will you?" Xigbar said, sauntering into the office like he was king of the world. Xemnas set his notebook down and raised an eyebrow at his friend, who looked more pleased with himself than a cat who had just slaughtered an entire _army_ of canaries.

"Is there any reason for that, Braig?" He asked, honestly curious; Xaldin had been there for quite some time, and it seemed odd for Xigbar to ask if he could continue to stay there. Xigbar nodded, still grinning.

"Well, you know Luxord got that link-thing with Xaldin like you have with your puppy and I have with my kitten, right?" Xigbar didn't wait for him to agree before going on with his story. "Okay, so Beast tore Xaldin a new one; he was taken off guard, and the Beast went absolutely insane for some reason, so he got banged up pretty bad. And so, apparently Luxord made Xaldin promise that he wouldn't go to Beast's Castle unless he was going along by his side...do you see where I'm going with this?"

Xemnas put down the pen in his hand and stared at Xigbar in amazement.

"You are truly an evil son of a bitch." He stated, eyes wide as he shook his head. Xigbar threw back his head and cackled, finally letting all of the wicked, _schadenfreude_ous glee out of his system.

"God, I know. Hop to it, Xeh, I've got a little brother's cherry to pop." He said, sauntering out of the room as Xemnas gagged.

"Braig, that's horrible in so many ways I cannot even explain them, and I rule over a void of all-consuming nothingness and abominations against god and mercy." He called back. Xigbar was too busy laughing to care.

* * *

Xaldin had woken up throughout the night and read a chapter or two of the book before finally falling asleep for real sometime around midnight, enjoying the peace and quiet. Of course, he didn't know that was going to be the last night of peace and quiet he'd have for quite some time.

He woke up and cheerfully prepared for the day, not knowing what awaited him downstairs as he headed down the steps, braids bobbing around his face as he bound them up and opened the kitchen door.

"I made you breakfast. You ought to hurry; we're going off for a mission soon." Luxord said, standing in the doorway. Xaldin stared at him in horror.

"Excuse me?" He hissed. Luxord grinned.

"Oh, nothing, Xaldin. It's just, well..." He trailed off, nodding to Xigbar as Xaldin stared at them both, eyes wide.

"Well, you see, Xemnas was kind enough to put you on duty at Beast's Castle until further notice. Sorry about that. I did everything I could." Xigbar told him, barely restraining hysterical cackles of delight.

Xaldin was very, very quiet for a long, painful minute.

Winds suddenly whipped doors off of cabinets and thunder rumbled inside the kitchen. He brandished all six lances as death glinted in his eyes.

"_I'll murder you, Xigbar_." He hissed, darting for the Freeshooter as he teleported away, laughing hysterically as he disappeared. Xaldin chucked the lances at the wall and screamed in frustration, putting his fist through the cabinet door and storming off, slamming the door so hard behind him it was torn off its' hinges and now hanged limply against the wall as Luxord stared in amazement.

"Well, that could have gone better." He muttered darkly, disappearing with a small sigh.

* * *

Xaldin headed right for the darkest corner of Beast's castle, tearing the door open and hiding inside the small closet, burying his head in his hands and curling up against the wall.

Hate. He shouldn't be able to feel hate. But it was all he felt. Hate, hate, hate, hate. So much it scared him slightly. They were _mocking him. _Even his own brother mocked him now, cruel and callous as he dangled the hope of romance and affection in front of him. It was only a pipedream, a nonexistent impossibilty, and _it wasn't fair!_

He inhaled a shuddering, shaky breath, portaling away into the ballroom.

He knew the place so well; it was beautiful enough that even in his misery, it took his breath away. The whole room radiated an odd sense of peace, and he prayed he could relax here. With a soft sigh, he sat on the upper balcony, closing his eyes and letting himself dream.

"My rose." A voice startled him out of his thoughts, and he sat up and looked over the edge, realizing Luxord was standing in the middle of the ballroom floor. He tried to speak, but he found with a start that his lips wouldn't move. Luxord beckoned him with a flick of his hand. "Come to me."

Xaldin obeyed, standing up and breezing over the edge, letting a gentle wind carry him down to the floor. Luxord watched him for a moment.

"I'm sorry." He said. "This...mm, coming from a gambler, this probably isn't the best thing to say, but...I don't want to play this game any more." He murmured. "No more games, Xaldin. You are my prize. My rose. Run as far as you like; I'll follow right after you. On my honor as a gambler, I can't give up on you now or ever. I didn't mean for this to happen, truly. I...did not think I'd frighten you. Please. This isn't a joke and this isn't a dream." He whispered. Xaldin shuddered.

"It's always a joke." He replied. "It has always been a joke and it always will be. Even without a heart, you're doing your damndest to break me." He realized he was crying, but he didn't care. "I don't understand why you're going to such lengths just to make a mockery of me." He snapped.

"You don't understand." Luxord repeated his words, shaking his head. He sighed, shrugging his shoulders as he tried not to smile. "Ah, silvertongue. There's no words I can come up with that'll outwit yours. But...I might be able to beat you in actions." He whispered.

Xaldin realized with a start that Luxord had grabbed him and pulled him close. He stiffened; he would've tried to fight, but then he realized with a small hiss of shock that Luxord had hugged him. Against his better judgement, he relaxed into the hug, letting Luxord brush away the tears soaking his cheeks.

"When was the last time you got one of these?" He asked. Xaldin blinked.

"Do you mean...like..." He shook his head. Luxord laughed quietly.

"I mean like, not from someone in your family." He added, watching Xaldin shudder, shaking his head.

"Honestly? Never." He whispered. "Who would have the courage to hug such a hulking beast?" He murmured. Luxord was quiet for a second. With a small, sudden laugh, he shook his head and hugged him tighter.

"Eh." He said. "More for me." He wrapped his arms around Xaldin's waist, holding him steady and looking into his eyes. "I've never been very good at sharing anyways, my rose." He teased. Xaldin shook his head.

"Luxord, what on earth possessed you to come up with that moniker?" He muttered. Luxord huffed with amusement, tugging on one of his braids and silently rejoicing when he didn't push him away.

"It is a very long story. But trust me, it is a name I find...fitting." He murmured. Xaldin snorted.

"As if I am as beautiful." He replied bitterly. Luxord hugged him tighter.

"You are." He said. "In fact, since I assume you'll enjoy the slightly mangled literary reference...you are the other name the rose would go by, if it could in turn attempt to be just as beautiful and sweet." He purred. Xaldin shrugged, trying not to smile.

"I...just...thank you." He murmured. "This...this is hard on me. Harder than you know. So just..." He shook his head. "Being touched was enough. Thank you, Luxord. I..." He trailed off. "I don't know anymore." He finally said, disappearing into the darkness-but not before trying his best to smile.

Luxord shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets and smiling up at the heavenly ceiling.

"Eh." He whispered to the angels stretched across the roof, "it's a start."


	43. Gamble it All

(Luxord is very impatient. He really and truly just wants Xaldin to admit something, anything. I didn't mean to rush it, and believe me, this arc isn't over just yet. :3 Besides, he's a gambler; at this point he's just like "fuck it, blow the whole wad." I don't blame him, 'cause I'd want a piece of Xaldin at this point too. :D

Also, poor confused Xaldin. Don't worry, things will get better for you soon. :D

ALSO I have their IJCDIS finished, but it contains spoilers for the rest of this arc, so I might not have it up for awhile. Sorry. ^^;

If you don't mind me not going in chronological order, I can put a few non-spoileriffic ones up once they're done. :3

Also FFFFFF KEFKA REFERENCE GET OMFGOMFGOMFG YESSS YAAAAAY :D

I love love love love looooove Kefka! No offense Seph, but you're just not as awesome, no way nope. Also Kefka wears white makeup and those blood-red lips purrr :D

Although I regard Amano's drawing as canon, instead of the Dissidia one. They made him look hideously clowny, rather than simply wearing a bit of makeup. Like, what the hell with the purple lipstick, what the shit is that. Kefka is a watercolor man, and Amano is the only man who can draw him right, far as I'm concerned. Everyone else tries to make him cartoonish, but he's far from it; shit, he destroyed a fucking universe! Like, is that not badass enough for you people? Jesus.

Therefore, as far as I am concerned, he is a sadistic madman who wears naught but blood-red lipstick and a bit of white face powder, kthnx. It makes me feel less bad about the massive crush I have on him. ^^;

God dammit Xaldin showering shouldn't be so hot. GO AWAY PERVERTED THOUGHTS. Jeez.

Anyways, I think that's it for this chapter! :3 I hope you like it~

Don't own KH~

Dedicated to, uhhh, everyone and everything ever!)

* * *

The two finished their missions apart from each other; Luxord to plan and Xaldin to think. Neither of them wanted to talk; the simple, throbbing communion of the link in their chests was enough, even when they were far away from each other in the depths of the castle.

Once the two arrived home, Xaldin once more gave him a small smile before disappearing into the darkness. Luxord nodded, grinning to himself as he went to go find Xigbar, Axel, and Demyx to regale them with the latest news.

Once he'd finished, Xigbar simply shook his head in amazement. "I don't believe it." He muttered, laying down his hand. "Oh and by the way, I got a straight. Gentlemen?" The others sighed.

"You suck, Xigbar." Axel muttered darkly, shoving his munny towards the gunner. Xigbar laughed, shaking his head. Axel shrugged. "Oh, and for the record, good job, Luxord; but what do you plan to do with it now?" He asked. Luxord shrugged.

"Honestly? I don't know. I'm hoping he gives me an opening sometime soon." He confessed, shuffling the deck again. "I can only pray he'll want to keep going." He shrugged. "Well, tomorrow is another day with him. We'll see what happens."

Xigbar nodded, handing him the poker chips to restart the game.

* * *

Xaldin sat in his room, dripping wet from his shower and towel tossed carelessly across the floor as he stared up at Kingdom Hearts, the five Tarot cards in his hand. He leaned against the cool window panes, deep in thought.

The shower he'd taken had given him no answers, even though he had sunk into a deep, meditative silence while he let the water wash the day's events away. He had still felt restless, nervous, almost like he was jumping out of his own skin, and he couldn't figure out why. However, the second he'd walked into his room, he'd spied the Tarot cards on his bed and immediately understood.

"The Moon. Diana. The Lovers. Death. The Chalice." He repeated it quietly, murmuring it like a mantra as he turned the cards over and over in his hands. They felt so smooth and well-worn against his skin, the small engraved ink designs tangible against the palms of his hands. "Why these cards? Why this fortune? Why me?" He murmured to an empty room.

_Why you? Why anybody? _He started, hearing a soft whisper breeze gently through his thoughts. It departed as fast as it had come, leaving Xaldin further confused and feeling more lost and alone than he ever had in his life.

"Keep these. They'll lead me home when you need me." He murmured. "Such a strange letter...although we are in a strange set of circumstances, this is true." He laughed quietly to himself. "All right, Luxord. I'll play your game. I'll keep these safe. I swear." He set them down on the windowsill, watching as their shimmering engravings caught the light and shone in the darkness.

He pushed himself off the ledge, landing on the balls of his feet as he padded over to his bed and laid back, wrapping the covers over himself and closing his eyes. "Back to the castle again," he whispered, shivering with anticipation as sleep tugged insistently at his senses, "hopefully...things will work out..."

* * *

Luxord looked down at what he'd packed and nodded, satisfied. He had a plan; a wonderful, _awful _plan. He shook his head. No; it wouldn't turn out for the worst. This was a gamble, but he always won his gambles. What sort of man would he be if he didn't? He laughed. None at all. This would turn out for the better; it would give him the opening he'd dreamed of ever since he had read his rose's Tarot.

"The game has started, Xaldin." He murmured. "I wish you the best of luck."

With that, Luxord disappeared into the darkness.

* * *

Xaldin awoke to the sound of silence the next morning. He sighed with relief, getting out of bed and heading down the hallway. It was a bit early, but that was fine with him; he'd rather have the silence and peace anyways, rather than risk the cacophony and boisterious nightmare that was breakfast. With a small smile, he opened the kitchen door and rummaged through the fridge, picking out the bread in the containers and making toast, brewing a cup of coffee while he waited, peaceful and serene as he braided his hair with lazy abandon.

He grabbed the toast as it popped out of the toaster oven, snatching up his lances from the darkness with a flick of his wrist, and headed downstairs out to the Hall of Empty Melodies to finish his breakfast before teleporting to Beast's Castle.

As he stood and watched Kingdom Hearts shine above him, he realized he hadn't heard Luxord yet today; perhaps he'd gotten an even earlier start than he had? Xaldin shrugged it off, finishing the toast and pulling his hair back. Even as he tried to dismiss his concerns, the throbbing in his chest had become harsh and insistent, spreading unease throughout his body as he disappeared into the darkness.

The day waned on, and as Xaldin explored the castle, retracing his well-worn paths and skirting around oft-avoided traps, he began to let panic slither through his senses and crawl under his skin, digging itself into his thoughts and caress his consciousness, teasing him with the awful thought of Luxord's absence.

He knew on some level he shouldn't panic; it was only a single day, and he would probably be back by dinner. Perhaps he'd even sought out another part of this world, exploring it deeper. Nothing was wrong; Luxord would be back by dinner. Luxord would be back by dinner.

He let that mantra stay with him as he continued on with his mission, repeating it over and over; _Luxord will be back by dinner. Luxord will come home by dinner. Luxord wouldn't have left me. _

Except that when Xaldin came home, the place at the table by his side was empty. It was like a black hole, dragging his thoughts in and making him focus entirely on the fact that Luxord was still gone. He swallowed, standing up and heading for his room. It wasn't a big deal; so what if he was gone? That was one problem of his right out the window!

But the throbbing in his chest hadn't stopped. It had been pulling at him all day, and the aching and pulsing and throbbing and tugging had started to make him feel sick to his stomach. He shivered, shaking his head and heading into the shower. It was nothing. Absolutely nothing.


	44. To Find is to Lose, to Seek is to Find

(DUN DUN DUN DUNNNN

Also I realized how not-screwed up they are. Sure, Xaldin's insecure, but there just isn't as much fucking crazy as there was with Xigbar and Demyx. Like, I can't make them dramatic and crazy, because IT DOESN'T SUIT THEM. What the hell man. Ohwell, I need a cute couple. Everyone else is fucked up as hell; they can be cute and normal. :D

XALDIN GETS DANGEROUS. :O omfg

Seriously, I love how he totally plays into Luxord's hands; oh Xaldin you're so predictable~ (which was totally Luxord's goal but dude, it worked, so go him.)

SHORT CHAPTER BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, duh. :D

And you don't even have author's notes to pad this the fuck out. My head hurts and I want PB&J Ritz crackers and hot chocolate but my grandmother's bringing it over so I got nothin' right now. :( So I'm very sorry for not being crazy and awesome and stuff.

One day, I'm going to skip the DON'T OWN KINGDOM HEARTS thing, and you'll all be like OOO SCANDALOUS WHERE DID IT GO and I will cry.

Dedicated to my new stuffed vulture. His name is Beeky. :D)

* * *

Xigbar winced. He hadn't seen Luxord all day, and although he was sure Xaldin thought he was doing a great job at hiding it, the worry was written all over his face. He didn't know where the gambler was or what he was doing; but he did know that he was worrying his baby brother sick, and he was damned if he wasn't going to fix it.

Xigbar headed out of the dining room and towards the third floor, walking down the hall until he reached Luxord's room. He twisted the knob and stormed in, realizing with a start that everything looked neat and tidy, like he hadn't come back all day...

He crept towards the bed, tense and nervous for some odd reason. A breeze came in the window and he started violently, almost falling back on the bed as he realized that the breeze had pushed a crumpled piece of paper off the bed, letting it fall onto the floor with a soft skittering sound. Xigbar picked the paper up and unfolded it, carefully reading what had been written on it.

_"Xigbar; I figure you're going to be the one finding this, so I'm addressing it to you, although if it's you, Axel, make sure Xigbar gets this note as well. Anyways, you must not tell Xaldin what I'm going to tell you right now. The truth of the matter is, I'm a gambler; I'm raising the stakes and betting it all on his next move. _

_I've left. Not permanently; (at least, I hope not), but I'm somewhere far away. Obviously, I can't tell you where I am; Xaldin has to make the decision of what he wants by himself now. He's going to have to face up to whatever this tugging feeling is within us and accept what I'm giving him or give up the game. I don't want him to lose; right now I'm in agony, considering that awful tugging is becoming flat-out painful right now, but I need him to give me something to work with._

_To be honest, I love him. I never thought I'd say that about _anyone, _but considering we're no-ones, I suppose I never did. Forgive me for the bit of gallows humor; even now, being away from him is killing me. _

_I need a reason to come home, and whether or not he knows it, he's that reason. If he can understand that...if he can use the gifts I've given him...we can both win this game. But the only one who can make that choice is him._

_See you soon, _

_Luxord."_

Xigbar was very, very quiet as he stared at that note for a very, very long time.

Then he crumpled it up into a ball and walked away.

* * *

Xaldin was going mad now; it was the next morning now, and Luxord hadn't come into the library, let alone even come into the castle. He had holed up in there as a sanctuary, but now his second home seemed to be mocking him, taunting him with the absence that was digging into the aching within his chest. He bit back tears every so often, reassuring himself that Luxord had probably lost track of time. He had to laugh at that thought, but the laughter faded away when he realized that it couldn't be an excuse any longer.

"Please come home." He pleaded, not realizing he'd spoken out loud until he heard the words echoing around the library. "Come back..."

He shuddered. Why would he stay? Why should he? What had he given him to convince him he wanted him to stay? No, no he didn't want him; he needed him. He needed the blonde, needed him as desperately as he needed air, needed the small comfort of sunlight, needed the hope that Kingdom Hearts gave him.

"Luxord, please..." He trailed off, unsure of what he was begging for, only aware of a horrible tearing and ripping going on in his chest as he began to sob in dry, heaving gasps as he prayed to whatever was listening for something to get his pleas to Luxord, wherever he was. He shivered, shaking his head. This was insanity! It wasn't fair! He wanted...he just wanted him _back..._

But what would Luxord be coming back to if he returned? Would he still hide from the man, refuse his overtures, and refuse to give him even the slightest of openings? Who would come back for something as pointless as that?

Xaldin choked back tears. Lexaeus was right; he'd screwed up so very, very badly. He didn't want to fight anymore; he just wanted that feeling in his chest to turn from agony into pleasure again...for Luxord to come back to his side...he needed him. He needed him because he loved that idiot gambler so _goddamned much._

Xaldin smiled. "Well, my dear, if your intent is playing hard to get...I have far more experience with this particular art of fighting. For once, my gambler, you are the one who is losing this game." He summoned his lances and portalled away into the darkness.

"I'm planning to move on," he muttered darkly, unable to hide a smile anyway, "and you, Luxord...you are coming with me."


	45. It Will Only Get Better

(For the record, I play with Belle a bit in this. I love her, and I've actually been told quite often that I remind people of her. I see the similarities, (brunette, smart, nerdy, bookish, forgiving, loving, imaginative, dating a tortured soul, blah), but it still amuses me and always will. Thus I put a bit of my ACTUAL personality into her.

Seriously, the way other people describe me, I'm like Mother Teresa, but if you take it from me, I'm a loudmouthed bitch with her occasionally dog-petting moments. And yet. I can be a mix of both? I dunno.

RAMBLING ASIDE, I'm serious; Xaldin is finally opening up and trying to be happy...I'm happy too. :3

SHORT CHAPTERS ADD TO SUSPENSE. :D

Also, by the way, get Skype. :D I am ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS on it, and I love having people pester me if I love them. :D So since I love all of you, this is clearly a wonderful match. :3 My name's arialleycat on there, so get one and look me up. o3o PLUS, you'll get questions answered and stuff, so now you don't have to wait for my hideously slow pm-messaging response time ever again! :D

One day, guys. And you WON'T see it coming.

Dedicated to yet another suicide victim. Her name was Hope Witsell. She was thirteen. She was my age. She took her life over one of those goddamn "sexting" scandals.

I understand completely. I understand the pain she had to go through. I don't know how to explain it in polite terms, so I'll cut it raw. I lived that life. I lived in that hideous nightmare limbo between paranoia and resentment. I lived through a time in which you woke up every morning and cursed the night for not taking your life with it. I lived through walking into a room and knowing every single person in there hated your fucking guts. I knew the pain of being called a whore and a rapist when you were the whored and you were the raped.

I understand so much that it hurts; I know how far down you can go into that little ball of darkness and hate and anger and rage that builds up in your mind from all the times it has been tarred upon you by cruel mouths and hateful words. Christ do I ever fucking know what it's like to sit there and think, "shit, I'd be better off dead." I know what it is to be judged for simply existing, I know and feel every single little fucking scar it leaves, whether it be physical or mental, on your skin. I have been through some of the darkest shit you only see in movies or on Lifetime.

I lived. I lived and she didn't. I could give you a million fucking reasons why I lived, and none of them would be the full truth.

The honest to god truth? I had nothing. I had absolutely nothing. I had so little left to live for that I forgot how to live-and thus, forgot how to die. I hung on because there was no other choice. But that doesn't matter one whit so long as some other kid dies while they're standing in my shoes.

I guess I survived in spirit because maybe I just had to come through the other side and stand as a guiding light. But that's too poetic. I don't think it's the truth, and I don't care if it is. I don't know if I'll ever really and truly come up with one good, definitive reason why I ground my heels in and didn't die.

But I can do my best to give everyone else one. So, to all of you reading this, whoever you are, if you are going through this, or you know someone who is,_don't you dare give up._

**You are not alone.**

It gets better. I swear to god it gets better. The world is absolutely amazing, and one day, there will be wonderful surprises and a truly good life. I really do believe this. Everything is going to be okay. I'm a living fucking monument to the fact that it gets okay. So don't you dare give up, because there's one little last inch inside you that you cannot have taken away. That is the inch that makes you human. You hold onto it by the skin of your fucking teeth, and don't you dare give up.

I will not only wait, but I will work for a day where kids like Hope and kids like Tyler and Phoebe and all the other kids who don't make the news...I'll work for a day where NO ONE has to make the choice between living in a waking hell or an escapist death, whether they are thirteen, thirty, or eighty. It will happen. I'll see to it. So anyone else who feels hopeless enough that suicide seems like the only option-it isn't. It really isn't. You have to live to see this day too. You have to live to see it and live to work for it.

I love you. I love all of you. I swear it'll be okay. You'll be all right. The WORLD will be all right.

I love you, Hope. I'm sorry. I'm so very, very sorry.)

* * *

He didn't bother searching through the darkness and into other realms; he knew that Luxord would never go back on his word, and he had made him one very specific promise.

With a small sigh of amusement, Xaldin opened the portal and stepped in through the doors of Beast's Castle. The place was so familiar that he actually closed his eyes and made his way to the ballroom without any trouble. He opened his eyes to gaze up at the ceiling, shimmering with the golden candlelight that sparked in little lamps around the room. He smiled. It was terribly, terribly captivating, and so very beautiful...

Luxord had mentioned that this was the reason he'd taken this mission on...Xaldin had to admit it was partially true. The ballroom was beautiful, and it certainly gave him something to do when recon was in a slump...but no, it wasn't the entire reason.

He wanted to watch them. Beast and Belle.

They were so far removed from what he had known that it was like stepping into an entirely different universe whenever he came here. Despite the demeanor and appearance of the Beast...Belle was trying her best to befriend him...fall in love with him. And the Beast had begun to open up to her, even, defying his own temper and personal demons in an attempt to return her affections...

He had been jealous. Xaldin realized it with a small start, looking around the room to make sure it hadn't been an observer saying it aloud. There was no one else in the room; the observer was only himself. And he _was_ jealous; he still was. How much did they have that he didn't have, couldn't have?

...How much of it _could _he have? He was a Nobody; a hollow shell of a man left without the final variable in all of the great romantic equations. What did he deserve from love?

_Everything. _A voice that sounded very much like Luxord's resounded through his head, and he shivered with pleasure at the sound. Did he believe he deserved everything? No. But...did Luxord? Oh, indeed. And he trusted Luxord's judgement far more than he trusted his own.

So he had no more reason to be jealous...or, well, he wouldn't have if...he hadn't lost Luxord.

He swallowed a harsh sob. No. It wasn't losing him. He would find Luxord and bring him home, throw himself at his feet, and plead with his gambler to give him everything, knowing he would happily oblige.

He needed to accept what he wanted. It just came down to that. He was only denying himself everything he'd ever dreamed of for stupid reasons, and he wouldn't stand for it any longer.

Xaldin smirked. It had taken him quite a bit of time, but perhaps realizing the old adage, "you don't know what you've got until it's gone," was good for him.

Xaldin strode off and out of the ballroom, quite clearly with purpose as an idea formulated in his head.

* * *

He had stalked the castle for a few hours before finally realizing with a soft sigh that Luxord wasn't there. Well, at least not where he'd been searching. He'd start on the next wing of the castle in a few minutes; he just had a few braids he needed to rearrange.

With a wince of pain, he pulled out the clasps and ties, letting his hair fall free around his shoulders as he realized with a small start of relief that there was a hairbrush on the dresser in the room he had taken refuge in while he regrouped. He took it off the shelf and began to run it through his hair, hissing in pain as it yanked out a few stubborn, unyielding knots.

Finally, with a smile of satisfaction, his hair glistened like midnight under the faint lamplights, trailing in gentle waves down his back as he separated it around his face carefully, preparing to start on his braids.

* * *

Belle was kind of bored. Being in the castle by herself when the Beast was having a fit or monologuing in front of his rose got boring; she had Cogsworth and Lumiere, and even Mrs. Potts and Chip, but she just hadn't talked to someone her age in a long time...someone who understood her problems with romance, or even, well, someone human. Even though she loved her new friends, having someone of a shared species to talk to would be nice.

With a small sigh, Belle went for her door, opening it with a soft click and heading into her room; relaxing in here and maybe taking out one of the books she had stashed under her mattress would be wonderful right about now.

"Oh, dear." A soft voice muttered, and Belle looked up, realizing with a happy smirk that she had just gotten her wish.


	46. Take It All Off and Let It All Go

(Oh, this should be a sign of what's to come. After the next chapter, the IJCDIS should be able to be put up now. ;3 Poor Xaldin. I cannot stop torturing you. It's either funny or really sexy or both. ^^;

ARGH FUCKING COLD. I HATE WEATHER PATTERNS. :( Apparently in Jersey the weather likes a good game of "Hot or Cold," involving finding a fucking atom in an elephant. HOT NO COLD NO WARM NO COLD jesus fucking christ I hate it.

My snot-clogged brain makes me sound like Tim Curry with a sinus headache right now, which is both funny and annoying, because if I'm trying to sing like, "Rose Tint My World" or something, sure, fine, that makes sense, but singing a cheery Hebrew song for Chorus? Cue the comments of "Oh, I didn't know we were doing this in drag," or "Hey Ari, make me a man!" and other such niceties. God dammit. xDx

I really do love how Belle is just like, "dude, whatevah," considering the circumstances. It's pretty awesome. She probably just has a "eh, I've seen it all." look to the whole thing. Can't blame her. Once you see dancing silverware and household appliances with French accents, you realize that your world can't get much trippier after that acid-tastic extravaganza.

Wracked by sadness all of a sudden reading this. Wish pretty bad my life was like this. Don't ask me why, cause it's complicated. God I need to move out of this house. A few more years...

ANYWAYS oh Xaldin you don't know what you're in for. :3 Silly boy.

Thanks for waiting the extra day for an update, yo! Sorry about that; came home yesterday from the creative writing club and life went past me like a meteor. ^^;

Don't Own KH. One day.

Dedicated to all of you. The responses I got in last chapter's reviews made me so happy it hurt. Love you all. :3)

* * *

Xaldin had never really seen much of Belle; she was usually reading or staying with one of the odd animate objects that had become her friends. Their paths just hadn't crossed often enough for him to really grow as envious towards her as he was towards the Beast; but from what he knew, she was a sweet enough girl, (well, one would have to be to put up with the Beast), and a genius to boot.

What he didn't know about was why she had a very odd look in her eyes as she sized him up, looking him over carefully. He swallowed, already trying to think of a way to get himself out of the situation; surely there was an explanation he could come up with...or, barring that, he'd disappear into the darkness and hide somewhere for awhile.

"You know, you'd be prettier if you didn't do those braids." Belle said. Xaldin raised an eyebrow, but Belle ignored him, continuing on with her lecture. "I mean, maybe just one big French braid, but all those tiny little braids just kind of make you look...I dunno, what's the word I'm looking for...very masculine."

Xaldin bit his tongue to choke back a hysterical bark of laughter as she continued. "Well, you know, I'm really lucky to find someone else who made it here! We don't get a lot of visitors, and I was looking for someone to talk to right now...so thank you so much! My name's Belle! What's yours?" She asked. Xaldin winced. Oh god, there was no way he was getting out of this now. This was just _great. _

"Xaldin." He murmured. "My name is Xaldin."

Belle raised an eyebrow. "You have a pretty deep voice for a girl...no offense, I mean. Oh, and you're, erm, kind of...what's the word...under-developed. Did you come here because of a witch's curse, too? I'm sure the Beast would understand!" She offered cheerfully. Xaldin was inhaling deeply with each breath, trying not to burst out screaming with laughter.

"That's because I am a man, lady Belle." He said quietly, pulling back his hair to show his sideburns, (which had been obscured by the curtain of raven hair, making Belle's confusion slightly more understandable.) "Please excuse my intrusion in your room; I was not aware of the fact that it was a woman's room, and I needed a place to think." He confessed.

Belle didn't seem very fazed by his gender reveal; however, living in a castle where just about everything talked had probably given her a lot of practice in rolling with the punches. She just smiled, beckoning him to sit on the bed. Xaldin sat beside her, confused by what was going on, but deciding it was better to just go with whatever she wanted, so as not to start anything dangerous.

"Well then, about what, Xaldin?" She asked. "I haven't had a real conversation in forever!" She exclaimed, giving him a melodramatic sigh and an overexaggerated pout. Xaldin couldn't help but smile; she had that sort of effect on him, and he suspected she must work the same spell on any other person she met.

"Well, to be frank, my lover has abandoned me. Not out of hatred or anger...it's...quite hard to explain." He murmured. Belle shrugged.

"I've got time." She said, sinking into the bed. Xaldin winced. He had the mission objectives screaming at him to lie and keep their true natures a secret, but part of him was just torn up and hurting from having to hold in all of his thoughts and stresses from everyone else, and she wasn't exactly a threat...it probably wouldn't hurt to at least tell her the truth about himself and Luxord.

"All right. Let me see...well, to put into simpler matters a very complicated story that spans around fifteen to sixteen years, I have...been placed under emotional repressors. The repressors were a result of some dangerous experiments undertaken by myself and my brothers, Apprentices to a king." He said. Belle nodded sagely.

"Aah. Daddy blows up the house sometimes when one of his inventions goes awry. Is it like that?" She asked. Xaldin nodded.

"You could say that. In any case, ourselves and other individuals like us...we have formed a sort of Organization. So far, it's my brothers and I, and four other men right now; Saix, who is devoted to one of us, my brother, Xemnas, Axel, who is Saix's very possessive best friend, Demyx, who has won the attention of one of my other brothers, Xigbar...and Luxord." He shivered with what he now knew was pleasure at the sound of his name.

"Luxord is...well, he wanted to be my lover." He murmured. Belle tilted her head, confused.

"He only wanted to? But you smiled when you said his name! Did something go wrong?" She asked. Xaldin shook his head.

"Aah...I...it's..." He trailed off. What did he say? That he was hideous and had never even been spared a second glance by anyone seeking a lover? That he had been so starved for affection that he'd listened to Braig's lurid, half-true tales, simply to feel closer to a romantic ideal, even when the thoughts of what he was denied tore him to his core? That he was so terrified that it was all just a game to Luxord that he had been shaking and _crying _the first few times he'd fantasized about the man?

"Yes." He said. "Something went wrong." He swallowed. "But it wasn't his fault. I...I haven't..." He shuddered. Part of him desperately wanted to keep his secrets, but Belle looked so innocent, so concerned and so eager to help that he couldn't deny her. "He was the first man that ever looked my way...and Luxord is _very _flirtatious. The problem is that I have never been pursued by anyone, male or female, for romantic or carnal affections." He said. Belle nodded.

"So you mean you've never found someone to love." She said. He nodded, biting his lip and trying to push the thoughts out of his mind. Belle startled him by suddenly squeezing his hand. "Well, I kinda think you're lucky. There was this guy at my village named Gaston...and he just would not leave me _alone! _He was the world's biggest jerk, and even if I'm stuck in the castle, I'm glad to be rid of him!" She snapped. Xaldin had to laugh.

"Sometimes, being on the receiving end of someone else's unrequited love hurts, I assume?" He asked. Belle nodded.

"You betcha. Gosh, it was like I was another one of those deer he kept hanging on his walls. Those were so creepy!" She shuddered. Xaldin raised an eyebrow.

"If it helps, I share your pain. Xigbar prefers guns as his weapon of choice, and he has the trophies to prove it. And he doesn't like cute things very much." He muttered. Belle giggled.

"Oh, at least he doesn't brag, right? I think the whole village had heard every story about every single one of Gaston's trophies about five times each! I'm not going to lie..." She sighed, still smiling as she fisted her hands in the blankets, "I really didn't like my village. I mean, I loved my daddy, and I knew some good people there, but...it just...wasn't right for me. It didn't feel like a real home." Xaldin nodded. Belle smiled at him, squeezing his hand again.

"And, well, even though sometimes this place can get a little crazy, I wouldn't ever want to go back to my old life. It was so cut-and-dry, so bland and uniform...it wasn't what I knew I deserved. That's why even though I didn't really ask to be here, I don't regret my choice to stay." She told him. Xaldin nodded, unable to speak for a second as her words struck him. She seemed to understand, holding his hand as he tried to steady himself and collect his thoughts.

"I guess you've been through that sort of thing too." She murmured. Xaldin nodded, blinking as he felt the sharp stinging in his eyes he knew foreshadowed tears.

"I guess I have." He replied. "And...perhaps I could do what you have done. Adjust...enjoy my life now, no matter what brought me to it, with no regrets." He whispered. Belle nodded.

"Of course you can!" She gave him a wicked grin. "Do you plan on enjoying it with Luxord?" She teased. Xaldin started again, trying to strangle a blush before it started to spread.

"Aah, uh, well, if the situation calls for it, yes, most likely...actually wait, definitely." He sighed. "Yes. I need him." He said, and the honest truth on his face and in his words made Belle smile.

"Well, that settles it! If you're so determined, then we're gonna bring him here!" She announced, clapping her hands together and smiling with complete glee. Xaldin wasn't sure why that made a heavy stone seem to settle into his stomach, but as she turned back to him with her eyes lit up with mischief, he figured he could haphazard a guess.

Belle sighed in annoyance, rifling through her wardrobe. "The first step is to make you look fancy. You've got to look good, right? Like a prince!" She said cheerfully. "Except...well, Beast's room is probably not safe to go in right now, especially if I have a friend here." She sighed. "Well, let's see what we've got..."

As she went deeper and deeper into her wardrobe, Xaldin felt himself starting to twitch; his warrior instincts screamed at him to retreat, but the part of him that clung to Luxord roared that she was his key to winning him back. He heard her sigh from deep inside the closet, fabric rustling as she poked her head out and smiled apologetically at him. "We might have a problem." She said. Xaldin raised an eyebrow.

"What kind of problem?" He asked. Belle winced.

"Erm...you don't mind strapless bodices, do you?" She asked.

Xaldin suddenly wished he'd ran.


	47. Dance the Blues Away

(Oh poor Xaldin. I am so going to hell for this. I always liked crossdressing men, I admit it. Momiji, Ayame, Marluxia, (well at least in my mind), Cloud... :3 It's just something that, well, when a guy can pull it off, I encourage it entirely. o3o

Belle is such a perv and it's great. Shiro was right; those were not fairy tales of old, I can tell you that... Although a lot of fairy tales were pretty sexual, so I dunno...

OH GOD SHE WAS READING THE SLEEPING BEAUTY NOVELS OHGOD NO MY CHILDHOOD GOD DAMMIT THERE IT GOES AGAIN.

My childhood is basically in shambles now. The only thing left is Winnie the Pooh, man. :(

LUXORD: GET! :D They're so not-messed up. If you like your dysfunctionality with your romance, mind you, there's always the Marluxia/Vexen and Larxene/Lexaeus arcs... These two are just so cute though. They're just sweet and really do care about each other and there's nothing sad about it. It's a nice, refreshing change of pace for me to write, and even at the cost of a smaller arc, it made me much happier to write a nice, normal romance. So there's that. And it's not like they won't ever be featured in OGC/FtM again, so you'll getcher fluff. :D

Sadly, Xaldin did not get the yellow dress, cause it would have looked TERRIBLE on him, imo. Soft lilac is so his color. I THINK ABOUT THESE THINGS OKAY

Striped socks fetish what are you talking about that's just _silly_

If it makes you feel better, he probably wiped the makeup off. It'd just make him look trashy. PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESSES DO NOT NEED MAKEUP oh your suffering is so great Xaldin I'm so very sorry but lololol.

Seriously awww this chapter. Luxord is restraining himself quite nicely from basically saying "Fuck it, let's totally ruin yet another of Ari's childhood moments," and having sex on the ballroom floor. And honestly, childhood or not, I wouldn't blame him at all.

Well, that's it. :3 The IJCDIS can go up now too, mmyep. Woo yay yaoi xD Anyways, hope you like this chapter~ Enjoy muchly~

Don't own KH.

Dedicated to my new Sora plushie/blue Heartless emblem necklace. Oh anime conventions. o3o SO CUTE.)

* * *

"You're not making this very easy on yourself." Belle remarked, tugging on the folds of the dress. Xaldin choked back a hysterical scream.

"I don't believe being pinned to the wall by my own lances and forced to try on dresses is something that can be made easy." He shot back, trying in vain, once again, to wriggle free. "How did you get to be such a good shot, anyway?" He demanded. Belle giggled.

"Well, for one, Gaston went into a lot of detail about his hunts; I just listened on occasion and did pick up some useful knowledge. Plus, daddy had a lot of books on every subject, and I had read them all!" She told him, cheerfully ruffling the fabric on a new sky-blue dress to see if it fit her criteria.

A lesser man might've outright wept at this point. Xaldin, thankfully, was not one of those men.

"Hey, I wonder if pink is your color...you know, blue eyes and all." She thought out loud, twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

Even that was not enough to make him tremble.

"Oh, and I still have some makeup left over from when I came here!" Belle said, clapping her hands together. "This is gonna be fun!"

Xaldin felt a small piece of his soul wither away and die.

* * *

Belle was even more dangerous than the Beast; if he made it out of this situation with his dignity intact, he was putting it in the mission reports emblazoned in glow-in-the-dark rainbow lettering, to serve as a warning to the others who might be foolish enough to tread within these dark and dreary halls.

"Purple looks great on you!" Belle said cheerfully, adjusting the bodice of the dress. "A very light purple, though...would you call this lilac or lavender?" She asked. Xaldin opened his mouth to retort with something very dark and very snappy, but Belle had already turned back to the wardrobe. "Nevermind, it's cute. Okay, so we have a small problem; I don't have a pair of shoes that fit...but socks will work! I have the prettiest pair of lilac-and-white striped socks, and it's better than nothing!" She told him.

"I don't have much of a choice, my lady." He muttered. Belle laughed.

"Admit it, you're having fun." She teased, ruffling his hair. Xaldin tensed for a moment; having a woman ever touch him that way had been unfathomable even just a scant two weeks ago. Belle might be crazy, but...she certainly wasn't a bad person. He sighed.

"No comment." He shot back, but the laughter he heard as she darted back into the wardrobe was enough.

After another hour of preparation, the hellish transformation was finished. Belle had brushed out his hair and fixed the hemline of the dress, stuffed him into cute socks, insisted on makeup, (he had retreated into his mental happy place while she applied the eyeliner), and despite his muscles, sideburns, and, well, male genitalia, he felt like a woman. It was...jarring, to say the least.

"You look great!" She told him, fluffing out his hair and grinning at him. Xaldin simply nodded.

"I...cannot thank you enough. Although this is a rather unorthodox method of winning him back...hopefully it will work." He told her. She grinned again.

"Don't worry! I'm sticking with you until the end, Xaldin! This is going to work out, I promise!" She said, tugging him out the door and down the hallway.

Xaldin followed with no resistance as she pulled and pushed him around the castle, finally bossing him around into the ballroom. She smiled with satisfaction. "Yep, here's the place." She said. "But...the question remains...how are we gonna get him here?" She murmured.

"_Keep these. They'll lead me home when you need me."_ Xaldin mouthed quietly. Belle started, looking up at him.

"Huh?" She asked. Xaldin shook his head in amazement.

"The cards." He murmured. Seeing her confusion, he added, "Luxord read my Tarot fortune once. He gave me the cards he'd pulled afterwards and told me I'd need them..." Belle nodded.

"Do you have them on you?" She asked. Xaldin nodded, conjuring a small portal of darkness and summoning the cards. They lay flat in his hand as Belle gasped in awe. "They're so beautiful!" She said. Xaldin nodded.

"Death. The Moon. The Chalice. Diana. The Lovers." He repeated. Almost unconsciously, he began to walk down the steps, holding the cards out in front of him. Belle followed after him, confused and worried as he headed towards the middle of the ballroom. "The Lovers. Diana. The Chalice. The Moon. Death." He murmured. There was silence for a moment.

"Luxord. I need you." He called out, voice strong and ringing with emotion. It echoed off the walls of the ballroom, and the angels on the ceiling seemed to stir slightly, perhaps to function as heavenly purveyors of his message.

All was quiet in the ballroom once more.

* * *

Within the darkness, Luxord looked up, startled by the shifting of the air around him. He had thought he would stay here forever, walking these cold, desolate pathways throughout the abyss...but...it couldn't be...

Diana appeared in front of him. The card paled in comparison to the real thing; he wasn't sure if it was a dream or a hallucination, but she was there and she was _beautiful. _Her brow was strong and stern, and her bearing was proud as she held his lover's lances in her hands. As she looked down at him, he realized that her pale moon-white eyes had shifted, becoming Xaldin's own deep indigo eyes, shining with love as they met his.

"_Time to come home, Luxord." _The voice whispered, so very much like Xaldin's it almost ached.

Luxord had no choice but to obey. The darkness split around Diana's light, rippling and pulsing as it pulled away to reveal the one place in the world he knew he had to be.

Once he took the first step, he knew exactly what he had to do.

With the gentle pulsing and sensations soaring through him, Luxord headed right for the ballroom, leaving the darkness behind and going to seek out the light of his lover.

It was finally time to go home.

* * *

It only took a minute. It felt both like forever and a single second until he spoke.

"My love." The voice was powerful, focused, and strong.

Belle started in shock, but Xaldin turned to face the stairs, a smile spreading across his features. He extended a hand, the five cards spread out in his palm.

"Luxord." He replied.

The gambler rewarded him with a small smirk. "So you need me now, my rose?" He asked. Xaldin nodded.

"I need you." He murmured, surprised at how unashamed he felt at saying that to him, how comforting it was to seek solace in his arms. He managed a relieved smile as Luxord nodded, carefully considering something.

"Why?" He finally asked, eyes calculating and thoughtful as he watched Xaldin. He swallowed, the words getting stuck in his throat for a minute before he managed to speak the truth they both needed to hear.

"...Because I love you." He said, voice soft and praying for acceptance as he met his eyes. Luxord nodded.

"Good answer." He murmured. "For once...I'm kind of glad I lost this game."

The two of them were silent for a minute. Nothing really needed to be said.

"So, typically, when someone wears a fancy dress like that, they're expecting a dance, aren't they?" Luxord asked, shattering the silence. Xaldin blushed, looking down at the floor. Luxord laughed. "Well, silvertongue? Speak up." He teased.

"I don't expect a dance, Luxord." Xaldin replied. "I am telling you I need one." He said, and he finally looked up with a small smirk, his confidence returning as he realized the last thing on Luxord's mind was refusing. Luxord nodded.

With a small, single step on the first stair, he seemed to lose all restraint and bolted down the steps, skipping two or three at a time in an effort to run to Xaldin and embrace him, bringing their lips together and giving his lover the first real kiss of his entire life.

Belle tried not to squeal out loud with delight, and managed to make her way into the main hall to get the others and watch before shrieking at the top of her lungs, "YES!"

(The other residents of the castle were highly amused.)


	48. Rose Tint My World

(Luxord you are such a ho omfg

Also ARC: END! :( Sadly, but not-sadly I guess, because it's not like these two stop existing. xD Next chapter begins Marluxia and Larxene. NERDITUDE: They were both found at the same time by Xigbar. Yeah I know these things. M'eh. :3 I'm magic, what can I say?

So short. But yeah, Belle? So after my heart too. Alice is going to have to show up, because imo, she is basically Osaka only with a British accent. Spending that much time in Wonderland will do that to you. Probably to be weird to Vexen. For some reason, I find them interacting very interesting. You know how there's always a few characters you like to bounce off of each other? Like that. Like Derek and Morgan and Tristan.

DUB IF YOU'RE READING THIS THAT IS SO A DEADFIC :D But maybe I will update AFR. I just have this irrational hatred of Olivia beyond all reason and measure. She became a Mouthpiece Sue, and I hate hate hate hate hate her for existing. She is just such an asshole, omfg. Tristan, Morgan, and Derek are all going to another, better, fic where they will live happy beautiful lives of beauty and gayness (except for Derek who is straight and probably a bachelor with a cat.)

Uhhh haha totally sidetracked lol. Siouxsie and the Banshees is the best band ever. God. The Cure only wins out (by a slight margin) because they're still making music. Siouxsie did a solo album, but I never found out if she did a second one...she's so awesome. Fifty and still kicking ass. o3o

So like, I am probably going to be pitchfawked and tawched for this, but I am unspeakably pissed that Glee is doing a Rocky Horror Picture Show episode. Yeah yeah, "But it's GLEE!" or whatever.

Deep dark secret; **I HAVE BROKEN UP WITH GLEE. **

It's not a bad show. Or, well, it wasn't INITIALLY. The first few episodes were when I thought we might have a cracktackular show about an awesomely gay campy kid, his fag-hag with the best voice on the show, (seriously WHOA), a cute little moe-moe Asian girl, and a badass nerd in a wheelchair, with a bratty overbearing obnoxious perfectionist in the background to try to convince them it was Serious Business, (ultimately failing, but managing to make them produce quality work), with a jock on the outside who tried to Get It, but ultimately fails time and time again, to everyone else's amusement. Along the way, we have a quirky teacher who's almost as crazy as the kids, and Sue Sylvester. (Who I totally have a soft spot in my heart for. She is basically the Distaff Counterpart to Stephen Colbert and it's great. :D)

But no. That is not what we get. We get this sappy, schmaltzy madness that has become so BLAH I just gave up. The "atheists are all just angry at god" crap? Yeah that was it. Final straw. Fuck you, Glee. The only two characters who I consistently liked ended up being totally beat on the entire episode, and argh. Plus, it totally turned into Pretty White Kids With Problems (AND PREGNANCY OMFG!) and I just BARRFFFF. If I wanted that I'd go watch Lifetime, kthnx.

So, (yes this is a fully-fledged rant now, hang on, ladies and gents), a show that has become all the bad kinds of cheesy and sappy is now trying to take a cult classic that should, BY ALL RIGHTS, belong to the nerds, the freaks, the geeks, the Goth kids and the punk kids, the depressed kids and the bipolar kids, the drama kids and the band kids, the chorus kids and the art club kids-something that belongs to US, and make it a pathetic cover episode. No. Not cool. I sat through Cabaret covers because of Kristin Chenoweth. (She makes everything better anyway.) I ENJOYED a lot of the covers. (Ice Ice Baby ftw.)

But no. You don't get to take what was never yours. If you're going to be mainstream, go play with your mainstream friends, and leave the cult of Nerdom alone. I don't very often get purist or pissy, but yeah, sacred thing here.

So in conclusion, fuck Glee. You had a great premise going, and I believed in you, which makes this hurt all the more. Thanks a lot for falling into the "drama" trap. Way to kill a great show.

MOVING ON, yeah, I get a lot of hate for thinking these things; apparently in my school, not liking Glee means not liking art/theatre/music/movies/gay people. (That last one is a huge WHUT. I am bi, and I like my lesbian side just fine? And my straight side too but IRRELEPHANT.) So there's always that.

Don't own KH.

Dedicated to the original cast of the RHPS. I don't know about them, but damn, do I hang my head in shame.)

* * *

Xaldin let Luxord lead; however, since Xaldin had more experience, he guided the man through every step as they stayed together, pressed tight against each others' chests and captured in each others' arms while the soft tugging in their chests pressed them together.

"I wanted to court you like you deserved, Xaldin." He told the other man. "This...was the perfect oppurtunity. I'm actually a little surprised as to how well it turned out, even with my luck." He murmured, fingering the soft silk of the dress with a small laugh. Xaldin rolled his eyes.

"Blame Belle. She really did want to help, it's just...well, we were out of options..." He muttered. Luxord laughed.

"I think it looks beautiful on you. You look like a true princess." He teased. Xaldin rolled his eyes again, tightening his grip slightly.

"You know, loving me involves having to contend with a cock, dear." He shot back. Luxord ran his hand down his chest and gently stroked him.

"Oh, believe me, my rose," he purred, "I know."

Luxord was slightly amused at how easily Xaldin melted in his arms at that.

After his minor flirting, it was all he could do to help his silvertongue guide him in the other dance steps. Once he'd settled in and picked them up, he actually found he liked dancing; it helped that Xaldin was a wonderful, gentle partner who knew how to properly show him each step.

The ballroom glowed and flickered with heavenly light from the massive crystal chandelier, the paintings on the ceiling and the golden walls glowing to produce an unearthly contrast as light danced and bobbed throughout the room.

"You know," Luxord whispered, "I'm very lucky to have you." Xaldin laughed.

"You've always been lucky, Luxord." He murmured. "I'm the one who finally got a chance..." He cursed himself for crying, but with all this beauty and splendor surrounding him, with this wonderful dream of Luxord cradling him close, it was inevitable. "I...I never had one before...and..." He pulled him closer. "I'm so lucky to be with you, so blessed, thank you, thank you, _thank you." _He whispered. Luxord nodded.

"My rose." He replied. "I could've waited forever to be with you." He laughed. "I'm glad I didn't have to." Xaldin was quiet for a minute. Suddenly, a small smile spread across his face.

"Well, since all that time might just go to waste if you don't use it properly...spend it with me?" He asked. Part of him was teasing, but part of him was serious, begging, pleading, and hoping that Luxord would really want to be with him.

Luxord's only response was to pull him into a kiss. Xaldin moaned, the feelings alien and beautiful and oh god, the warmth in his body and the pounding, pulsing pleasure in his chest was setting him on fire, and he knew he was trembling and didn't care, and he never wanted this to end, not ever...

"This will go on forever." He promised. "I can keep forever with me, and with that..." He kissed Xaldin again, looking into his eyes and grasping his hand. "You will be mine for eternity. My blessed, blessed rose. My silvertongue." He whispered. Xaldin clung tight to him, tears trailing down his cheeks as he held him.

"I promise...never to doubt your love again." He replied. "No matter what truths I doubt, no matter what stars and suns and moons I may doubt, I will hold that oath for as long as I live." Luxord nodded.

"This is all going to work out, Xaldin." He murmured. "Everything is going to get better." He stroked his hair gently. "I'm going to come home with you. Everything will be all right." He smiled. "Honestly...you know something?_ You_ are my home, babe. You are my safe haven." Xaldin laughed.

"I had to leave home to find you, I guess...but I think that was a good thing. It wasn't a safe haven..." He kissed Luxord this time, asking for dominance asn receiving it, if only for a moment. "But you are." He finished. Luxord grinned.

"Right then, my dear...finish this dance with me then, will you?" He replied. Xaldin nodded, leading him into the last few steps as the two met as lovers in the center of the ballroom and kissed, feeling perfect, whole, and complete under the light of the angels and heavens.

"My dear Xaldin," Luxord began, and from the look on his face, Xaldin was already starting to get bad, (yet strangely pleasing) feelings about what was going on, "while this dress is indeed beautiful, I do believe that story ended with the princess begging the prince to rid her of her 'foolish virginity...'" He purred. Xaldin blushed, and Luxord couldn't resist groping his rear gently, enjoying the blush flare up again with a small squeak of shock as an added bonus.

"What about the epilogue?" He asked. Luxord laughed.

"There was always room for a rewrite." He replied, tracing his fingers across the dips in his rose's collarbone, purring with approval. Xaldin smirked.

"In that case, I believe there's suitable accomodations in my room to discuss our rewrite, Luxord." He murmured, nipping at his earlobe and humming with satisfaction as he was rewarded with a small moan. "I think in this case, a co-author would be appreciated."

Xaldin was only slightly surprised when Luxord slammed him against the wall and ravaged his mouth, moaning like a man possessed as he dragged him up the steps.

"All right then, princess," he purred, "that dress is adorable, but...I believe I prefer my princess in stocking feet, if you get my drift." Xaldin blushed further, mouthing to Belle, "_I'll bring this back later," _as he was dragged out of the castle by a very insistent Luxord.

* * *

One long, beautiful, bliss-filled day later, Luxord stretched in bed, kissing Xaldin's cheek and getting up to dress as he portaled away to the library, intent on finding his lover a book for his inevitable rest in bed. (Luxord certainly didn't want him limping all day, poor thing.)

He was slightly shocked at what he found there; a white lounge chair opposite the purple one Xaldin had claimed. It was soft, with a high back and a wide seat big enough for two. Plus, it was long enough that he could lay back...or someone else could lay on top of it...

"Guess Xaldin wasn't kidding." He murmured. He felt a small spark of pride light up in him as he realized it meant he had indeed become a part of Xaldin's world.

A thought occured to him suddenly, and he couldn't suppress a smirk of triumph. "Well, I suppose this means we'll have to break this chair in..."


	49. Thunder or Lightning, Baby Said

(MarVex and LarxLex arc; begin. o3o

DRAMA OMFG.

FWIW, retconning Larxene's spouse's name at some point. My weirdest thing with making random one-off OCs is definitely fitting their names into the sort of KH theme, at least in this story, mostly because most of them were one-off assholes like Larxene's husband and the asshole who kills flies with his ruler and has the creepy hots for Senayax. I don't want to give them cool names because then they might turn into interesting characters, but they're just pure asshole. They're not even interesting asshole, they're just run of the mill douchebags, so it makes it hard to write for them. Sssyeah.

Okay, proving this is some of the best stuff I've done lately, one of my friends, who I love very much but is very fastidious, LOVED this chapter. So WOO YAY ME :D

Haha no Glee rant this time. Like I said though, not smashing on anyone for hating the show, just angry at the choices it's made. Please don't worry, I wasn't going YOU SUCK FOR LIKING GLEE. ^^;

Neil Patrick Harris you are too cute for your own good. Doctor Horrible is awesome, and he's just so fffffff and Nathan Fillion who is so omfg like WHOA. The adage, "There are no straight men, just men who haven't met Captain Malcom Reynolds?" Hoo boy. That man.

Right sorry fangirling aside. Xigbar ends up showing up a lot, huh? He's easy for me to write for some reason; it's just the way he acts and talks. Plus he has to show up, he actually finds them. And for some weird reason, he and Marluxia actually kind of bond. Don't ask me why.

I don't like referring to the Nobody as "the man" and "he," so Marluxia picked his own name out. It kinda makes sense; he's rebellious and flouts Xemnas' authority even in-game, so GO ME FOR STICKING TO CANON WITHOUT MEANING TO :D

And that's mostly it! I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend, but I'll be updating later anyway so I'll find out eventually. xD Love you all~

HK nwo t'nod.

Dedicated to our very first "sea census," which is apparently YOU THERE COUNT THOSE STRANDS OF SEAWEED but still. xD)

* * *

She woke up with blood on her hands and a smile on her face.

The woman didn't realize what she'd lost; emotion had been such a foreign notion before that becoming a Nobody had not changed her in the slightest. The bloodlust had gone, leaving her only with what was like broken shards of hatred and rage. She winced, standing up and stretching, feeling bones pop and shift as her muscles stretched, protesting at her sudden movements.

Her head hurt. She wasn't sure why, but it was killing her. She needed to find a place to go, but she couldn't even remember where she was...or, well, _who _she was, to be honest. She wrinkled her nose. Flashes of memories were coming back to her now; a man with his tongue made of poison and his fists made of iron, acid words burning away at her skin until she was stripped naked...flowers. Wilted, slightly old flowers, something that was a half-hearted attempt at reassurance and apology. For who?

_Relane. _

"No." She murmured. "Not anymore."

* * *

She shrugged off the jacket she'd been wearing; it was soaked with blood. It didn't appear to be her own, but there wasn't a body around...whatever. She realized she had a knife in her pocket, and she took it out, testing its' quality. It shone as it caught the faint sunlight coming in through the alley, and the steel looked well-cared for and tempered. Plus, it appeared to be stainless. She nodded with approval; it was something she could use. She put it carefully back in her pocket and left the alley, looking around at the street.

It was morning, it looked like; the air was still misty and muggy with fog, and very few people mingled in the streets. She was mostly alone, which suited her just fine. She had to get somewhere where she could hide until she had pieced together her life again; she knew full well that she wasn't entirely whole right now, and she needed to find a safe haven.

She felt the soft wad of cash in her pocket as she fumbled around in them, sighing with relief as she pulled it out to reveal it was a decent-sized wad of money. She needed new clothes; thankfully, she was wearing black, so the blood didn't show up very much, but she was wearing clothes with the blood of someone she didn't know on them, and it disturbed her.

She looked up and down the street. There wasn't a store in sight, but there were signs, and one of them said that a store was going to be two streets up from her left. That was fine with her. Walking would give her time to think, and maybe while she thought, she might make herself a good name.

* * *

Marluxia sighed, surveying the area with a lazy glance, not even bothering to push his hair out of his eyes. He'd been out for a week and hadn't found anyone who intrigued him. He was _bored. _

After he'd woken up in the middle of his house, alone with a pool of blood beside him, he'd decided it was best to head out somewhere else. The name Marluxia had come to him once he'd sat and meditated for awhile, and as he had attempted to start over, he'd found it worked well; it seemed to...flow with him. Who he was now. It worked out okay for him and he was good with that.

But no matter what city he went to, or what store he perused, or what street he walked...he couldn't find someone. He knew he had to find someone. He didn't know who they were, but whatever had taken over his mind was only giving him a painful sort of throbbing where his heart had been as a clue. He sighed, leaning against the wall of the building he had been passing. Another clothes shop; this was a well-to-do city, and it had all the swag to show for it.

Nevertheless, he liked it; even though there were so many people, no one paid any attention to anyone else. It let him slip through the world unseen, and for those who did want to pry, he had been testing out some new tricks, and that little portal of darkness had come in handy once or twice.

He drummed his fingers against the side of his arm as he hugged it tight across his chest. He didn't know what to do, but if he waited, something was likely to show up; he might as well go to one of his little "thinking spots" and wait for someone to pass by and catch his attention.

With a soft, almost venomous smile, Marluxia strolled down the street, petals trailing behind him like drops of freshly-shed blood.

* * *

Vexen wasn't quite sure why, but he woke up that morning with a heavy stone of dread lodged in his stomach. He shuddered, wanting nothing more than to crawl back under the covers and fall back asleep; however, it seemed that fate had other plans.

"Hey, Even?" Xigbar called, opening the door to his room. "You awake?"

He shot Xigbar a filthy look as he stood up and stretched. "Indeed, in no small part thanks to your gracious efforts." He snapped. Xigbar rolled his eyes, ruffling his hair with a small smirk on his face as he flicked Vexen's forehead.

"I aim to serve." He teased. Vexen snarled at him.

"Behave yourself, Xigbar. I haven't had a cup of coffee yet today, and you're already stretching my temper very thin. Unless you wish to call off your...amorous night-play, so to speak, due to frostbite, get me a cup of coffee before I change my mind." He spat. Xigbar rolled his eyes.

"God, fine; you act like I don't know you well enough to get you a cup. Made the way you like it, too; hazelnut cream with three sugars brewed scalding hot." He told him, sliding the burning mug into his hands. Vexen didn't mind; it was the only way for the heat to reach him, and sometimes a bit of heat was nice... He sighed, getting back to the task at hand.

"So what's the task, Braig?" He asked. Xigbar sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Well, Demyx was screwing around in one of the worlds with Peggy, just playing some music for people, you know; he's a freaking angel that way..." Vexen rolled his eyes as Xigbar sighed happily. "Well, anyways, he sensed darkness. But the person who'd been a part of it had disappeared and taken the darkness with them. Dem obviously got confused, and he tried to recon, but it was like the person had left the world entirely. It's pretty strange for a Nobody to be able to recognize another Nobody; well, at least if they're probably a newborn Nobody like this one." He shrugged.

"Anyways, Xemnas wants me to go out and look for them." He finished, giving him a satisfied smile. Vexen shot him a filthy look.

"And what did that have to do with 'wake Vexen up at an ungodly hour?" He snapped. Xigbar shook his head, and the seriousness in his eyes gave Vexen pause.

"Cause I knew I had to. Trust me, Even, being with Demyx has sort of...opened me up to these things. Probably part of the placebo heart, I bet. Either way, I knew you had to be awake for whatever goes down today." He murmured. Vexen sighed.

"If you say so. At least your little story will give me something to study. Now shoo, Xigbar, and if Zexion's up, tell him to bring breakfast down with him; this is an oppurtunity I have to take on straightaway." He ordered, pushing him out the door and closing it, going to get changed as quickly as possible. Xigbar rolled his eyes.

"Typical." He muttered. "I bet you'd skip breakfast otherwise, wouldn't you..." He trailed off, a small smirk spreading across his lips. "Well, I'm sure Zexion would be more than happy to find you some fudge-ripple strawberry ice cream, my dear skeletal scientist." He laughed. Apparently, making Vexen eat properly had turned into a family sport. Well, it was one he was good at, so he didn't mind.

He disappeared into the darkness after a quick message to Zexion, wanting to get as far away from the inevitable fallout as possible.

* * *

She had gotten new clothes for herself. They were nondescript; something that would not draw attention. Something safe. Black tank top, loose black pants; something to run in, if she needed to run. She wasn't sure if she'd have to run. She might. She would be prepared.

She kept moving throughout the day; exploring, making connections, seeing paths and shops and doors and people. None of the people saw her; their eyes slid over her like she was the color of water. That was fine with her. Water couldn't be hurt. Water couldn't be beaten. Water was strong; it went with the flow and pushed against obstacles until it wore them down. She could be the color of water right now.

The night was creeping over the horizon. She could taste it; there would be a thunderstorm. The night was bringing a thunderstorm with it, and that's why she knew. The air was getting hot, charged, almost rough, and she found out she couldn't breathe. She shuddered, trying to get away from the air that surrounded her, all to no avail.

In a blind dash, she realized she was in front of the park gate. Against her better judgement, she raced out towards the center of the park. A great, massive tree stood there, gnarled and ancient. Pale white flowers dripped from its' branches, and as one fell on her shoulder, she lost her common sense and embraced the tree, burying her face into the rough bark just as the lightning struck her and she found her name.

_Larxene._

She was alive.


	50. Miss Murder, How Can I?

(Can I be honest and mention how I love Marluxia is just like GREAT JOB HONEY YOU KILLED HIM :D because that just makes me lol every time.

FIFTIETH CHAPTER ANNIVERSARY! :D FIFTY DOWN, NINE HUNDRED AND FIFTY OR MORE TO GO.

...Wait that's not a good thing. D: Oh god I'll be writing this into college. Awesome or insane? Can it be both?

This is probably a world that's sort-of like ours. Think Midgar. We have cities and shit, but we do not have materia and evil megacorporations dropping plates on us. Yet.

I honestly don't know if Marluxia is from this world, or if he just found his way here in response to Larxene. /shrug/ Sorry I'm no help; they're their own people sometimes, and I'm just a scribe.

Seriously lol-ing at how they get away with murder. Ohwell; if this IS basically Midgar, I doubt anyone would care anyway. ^^;

Marluxia has creepy inner monologues. I love how HE gets to be horribly creepy and IC. Larxene is just insane.

For the record, once she gets her shit together, she goes back to her old bitchy self. Since I doubt it's really spoilers, since it's come up in FtM, remember, she's just woken up after murdering her husband after let's say, oh, _three years of systematic rape and abuse_. No one is going to be completely "all there" after an incident like that.

Short this time, eh? Then SHAMELESS PLUG TIME; go watch Doctor Horrible. o3o Neil Patrick Harris is adorable, Nathan Fillion is downright funny, and I like Felicia Day. You can find the whole thing online, it's like forty five minutes, and it has MUSICALS.

...Considering I'm apparently Joss Whedon's illegitimate daughter, I suppose it is fitting I'm shilling for my father. xDx

Don't own KH or something.

Dedicated to people going through anything sad in their life atm. /hug/)

* * *

Marluxia tilted his head up and shivered. Rain. It was getting kind of cold out anyways, and the newly-grey skies and torrential downpours were the antithesis of helpful. He sighed. Well, there had to be someplace he could rest for the night. But first...

A smile spread across his features.

Rain or shine, there was always a party.

* * *

Larxene awoke to lightning racing across her skin and rain soaking her down to the bone. She shivered, tensing as each drop hit her skin. Something was wrong; the lightning should have killed her, and yet-

She reached out to touch it and it jumped into her hand, almost like a playful puppy as it danced and sparked around her fingers. She couldn't help but give it a small smile, and it seemed to glow in response. She held her knife up to it, and the little bolt glowed and sparked once more before settling into her knife.

She pressed it against her cheek for a moment, feeling the cool steel contrast with the burning spark inside of it. The feeling was strange, but it was...good. She liked it. She hadn't had much to appreciate for a long time.

The faint sounds of music reached her ears, and she lifted her head up slightly to pinpoint the location. West. Three blocks, maximum. It must have been pretty loud music, which meant...a party. She shrugged, standing up and brushing the mud off her shirt.

Well, the rain would wash the rest off for her anyways.

She was laughing as she walked down the streets, but for some reason, the laugh rang hollow, even in her own ears.

* * *

Marluxia surveyed the inside of the bar with a cool, calculating eye. The little girls made of tanned leather and makeup did not interest him; there was no sharp edge to them, nothing that made them interesting or pleasing. They were not enough and he was not sure why.

Marluxia had selected his attractions carefully; carefully enough that no one had ever been perfect enough to warm his bed. That did not bother him as much as it bothered other men; other men would settle for the riff-raff, but he would bide his time, waiting for his delicate little doll to fall into his lap.

He ordered a drink; nothing strong, he couldn't cloud his senses like that, but the sweet taste of the cocktail melted across his tongue like a delicate frost, and the cool liquid was enough to satisfy him for the time being.

He watched the other people with the calculating, predatory glance of a lion; there was a sleepy, almost bored-looking expression across his face, but if one looked closer, they would be able to see the glint of cunning ruthlessness in his sharp blue eyes.

* * *

Larxene had been able to get in without much trouble; she was still pretty, and someone

_Relane_

Had traversed bars like this many times before. She wasn't frightened. Fear was for weak little rabbits.

_Like Relane._

She shook her head and banished the voice buzzing in her head long enough to accept a drink. The person who handed it to her was tall, and built like a small bear; his hair was slicked back and black, the gel he'd used shining dully in the fluorescent lighting. She smiled at him winningly, but pushed the drink back to him.

"Pretty nice of you." She replied. "I don't take drinks from strangers, though." The man smiled back at her.

"All right, then," he shot back, "what if you let me stop being a stranger, babe?"

Larxene paused. This was dangerous. She could feel the danger coming from him in little slimy waves that nibbled at her skin, but Larxene wouldn't be frightened of danger. Not like Relane.

"Sure." She purred. "Let's go somewhere quieter to introduce ourselves, mm?"

She stalked through the crowd like a lioness; they split apart to accomodate her, perhaps sensing the lightning that seemed to crackle just under her skin.

Marluxia's eyes found her in an instant. His gaze sharpened as he watched her move with a lithe sort of slinking grace that called to mind a viper poised to strike. He lifted his glass to his lips to conceal his face as he observed her carefully.

She was nothing like the women here; she was alive, burning with vicious, feral energy right under her skin. Did the sex-blind fools not see the rippling waves of bloodlust that seemed to pulse from her?

He raised an eyebrow. Perhaps even she herself was not fully aware of her strengths. She did look slightly uncertain, as if there was a small thread out of place in her mind, and she was fumbling to fit it back into the weave of her thoughts. He nodded to himself, deciding he would follow her and see how this little lioness decided to play with her new prey.

* * *

Larxene let him chatter on while she observed the drink in his hand. She was so damned thirsty; the bone-dry flesh in her throat screamed out for the amber relief in the glass. She put a finger to his lips, stopping him mid-spiel.

"I think I know you well enough now, dear." She said, accepting the drink without a second thought and downing it in an instant, not noticing the wild, vicious smirk on the man's face as she swallowed.

Within an instant of the liquid fire that now consumed her mouth and throat, her vision began to flash. Her head hurt so very, very much. Why was it all hurting?

The lightning within her howled and screamed, crackling and hissing as it rose up to defend its' mistress. There were hands on her now, hands with a bit of mocking gentleness as they grabbed at her, touching skin and digging in deep, drawing blood and

_the lightning use the lightning Relane _

It was nothing more than a tiny spark at first. A hesitant little spark that seemed to hum _protectprotectprotect _as it lit up around her. As her breathing became more labored, more panicked and frightened, the spark began to grow, and soon a chant of _hurtmurdermaimkill _began to build up in her mind as her skin began to crackle, making the man hiss with pain and try to pull away from her.

She held up her hand and pressed it against his cheek. The lightning eagerly raced down her arm and across her palm, getting right to work.

His skin began to peel and flake, revealing the pink, wet cavern of his mouth. He tried to scream, but the lightning had paralyzed his senses, leaving him helpless to move as she reached inside the gaping, sizzling hole in his mouth to pull out his tongue.

"Filthy words...filthy velvet liar's words..." She murmured, letting it sizzle and pop in her hand as it slithered to the floor with an unceremonious thump. "Hands..." She took his hands in hers in what might have been interpreted as a romantic gesture, had a knife not been clasped tightly in between her fist.

"Filthy, wretched, bruising hands...tearing hands, raping hands, hands that _kill, _no more, _no more-" _Something snapped inside her; the lightning seemed to pour out of her body in jagged waves, tearing into his flesh and burning him alive, right down to charred skin and blackened bone. It took only a few seconds. It felt like an eternity.

She watched with detached contempt as his bones scattered on the floor before her. She held out a hand and beckoned a tiny spark of lightning to settle on her palm, nuzzling it with an almost maternal pride before letting it settle back inside her.

"Amazing." The voice that came next startled her out of her thoughts, and she tensed immediately, turning around to strike at the new intruder. He didn't seem intimidated or frightened, however; he just smiled at her and kissed her hand. "That was a fine display." The calculating approval in his eyes disappeared for a moment, replaced by tender affection. "I'm very glad you're safe."

Larxene knew that she should be on guard, but...something about this man just made her so...happy. Not even making her feel the happiness, just...his existence seemed to complement hers. She trusted him implicitly.

"I'm Marluxia, lioness. May I inquire to your name?" He asked. Larxene nodded.

"Larxene. I'm...Larxene now." She told him. Marluxia nodded, taking her hand with care, and for the first time in her life, Larxene felt a gentle hand in hers. He kissed the top of her head and smiled.

"Well, Larxene, I believe we've got another appointment due." He murmured. "After all, it seems the party's over."


	51. Everything I Ever

(I love you FFVI. :D Although Maria and Draco, hello Bob and Aerith much? xD

Also oh Xigbar you so crazy. o3o Seriously, he's casually homicidal, which shouldn't be funny. And yet.

It's really funny if only because "HEY KITTEN I'M HOME I BROUGHT YOU CHOCOLATE WITH THE BLOOD OF INNOCENTS STAINED ACROSS THE WRAPPERS :D" is so insane as to be funny. Refuge in Audacity much? ^^;

By the way, since this is late, it reminds me; is there a specific time of day where everyone's schedules meet, and publishing OGC around then would be a good idea? I get home around three-thirty (In NJ, so that's the New York timezone), on Mondays and Thursdays, with occasional other after-school crap. Hell, if updating at six in the morning is a good idea, I'll get up earlier and do that. ^^; Just let me know what's easiest for most of you~

OMFG my grandmother's house. Going over there used to be THE BEST THING EVAR but now that her old house that I loved very much burned down and she has a crappy one floor thing, we have a bunch of psycho little kids who tear the whole place up and break things and ruin televisions. I am ashamed to share a PLANET with these total tools, let alone a gene pool. :I

So yeah, the moral of the story is, fuck my family. Seriously. Remember the scene with Cinderella getting her dress torn to shreds because her sisters were like "dude it's MINE!", mm?

Reimagine that with an eleven year old girl, a nine year old boy, both of whom attacked a sixteen year old they know has issues with being touched as-is and a severe complex as to being in close quarters with people who are touching her so much so that she feels sick writing this sentence, and then imagine Lady Tremaine, rather than standing over them and giggling evilly, sitting on the couch right next to Cinderella and watching football, not even changing the channel.

At the risk of sounding like a whiny little wuss, seriously. /groan/ I really liked that jacket too...ohwell, I'll get a nicer one! :D

Still going to hate football though.

ANYWAYS. Poor Vexen. Suffer as much as I do. At least he really loves you and just wants you happy.

Marluxia seriously is just kind of...not creepy, so much as like a viper. Hypnotic and charismatic with vicious fangs, always ready to tear and bite at a moment's notice. As much as I find amusement (occasionally) in his typical "totally flamboyantly gay stalker/pedophile" portrayal, it's really not him. Sssyeah.

Larxene could pin Xigbar like that because it was the last thing on earth he was expecting, btw, not because she has had as much training as he has had. ^^;

Not much else to say. o3o Love you all a lot! I'll be okay, btw, don't worry. :D

Don't own, mm.

Dedicated to Riza, who I haven't seen in awhile, but I still love you, hun! :D)

* * *

Xigbar sighed, tapping Sharpshooter against his shoulder as he relaxed against one of the trees in the park. He'd been tearing this world upside-down and still had no clue what he was looking for yet. There hadn't been a flash of darkness like Demyx had described by now, and it was almost midnight. With a small hiss, he ejected Sharpshooter's arrows and began to idly polish them, bored to tears as he watched the normal, bland people scamper around in the park.

Briefly, he considered if shooting the children and looting their candy as spoils of war would make Demyx happy. With a small sigh, he remembered that, regretfully, his beautiful little kitten did _not _enjoy candy ripped from the cold, dying hands of small children.

After deciding he'd simply stop and buy Demyx a bag of candy from the store before returning home, he managed to observe the park with his spirits slightly lifted. The stars were out, and the moon was a slim, elegant crescent in the sky, veiled by a few thin clouds that shone like silvery pearls under a vast expanse of midnight. The beauty alone was enough to please him, but someone had left _Aria Di Mezzo Caratterre _on with their window open, and the music served as the final piece of perfection to the scene. He smiled with rare delight, a geniune sort of smile that only his brothers and Demyx had ever seen, sitting in a massive, stalwart oak tree and waiting for the dawn.

He could've stayed like that all night, forsaking the mission in lieu of enjoying the beauty of a proper night sky, except finally, something in his mind tensed, and he heard voices calling out from behind him. He kept still and closed his eyes, clearing his mind to listen to the conversation.

* * *

Marluxia saw that Larxene was getting more and more frightened by the second. He wasn't sure _why _she was frightened, but he knew he had to keep her safe at all costs. He stroked her hair with a gentle caress, letting a small daisy bloom across the tips of his fingers and pressing it into her hand. "Hush, Larxene." He whispered. "We're almost there."

Larxene shook her head. "Where are we going, Marluxia? I can't stay here for too long...they're going to find me, and he'll bring me home, a-and-" She cut herself off with a shuddering gasp, shaking her head in denial. Marluxia turned around to face her, looking into her eyes and seeing pure terror reflected back at him.

"Who's going to bring you home, Larxene?" He demanded, watching her chest rise and fall in quick, shallow breaths, "Larxene, who has frightened you so badly? Talk to me; I can't keep going if I don't know what's wrong." He told her. She screamed, grabbing his shirt and pulling him close, shaking him in her own fear and desire to flee.

"I can't talk! We don't have time to talk! We have to keep _going! _Please, Marluxia, _please! We have to keep going or he's gonna find me, Marluxia please-" _Her pleas were cut off as Marluxia pulled her close and waited. He had been expecting initial resistance, and indeed, he felt a bruise already forming against his shoulder from where she'd struck him initially in her struggle; he was just grateful her kick had narrowly missed his knee, otherwise it would have more likely than not have been shattered. He sighed, stroking her hair.

"No one is going to find you unless _I _want them to. And the only person I want to have near you is _me. _We're going to go wherever we want now, Larxene. It's going to be all right." He whispered. "No one will ever find us."

Larxene nodded. With a small sigh of relief, she settled into his arms as Marluxia quietly rejoiced in his victory. They stayed like that for a few minutes, with Marluxia letting Larxene touch him, observe him and feel him, judging him to truly see that he was not a threat. When her hands returned to their position around his waist, he relaxed, suddenly aware of having passed a trial he hadn't even known he'd been put upon.

Xigbar winced. Damn, this was going to be really tough to break up now, but Xemnas would kick his ass if he came back empty-handed with having been so close...

"I'm afraid I have to dispute your claim." He said, jumping down from the tree and watching with trepidation as they both turned to face him. He grinned, trying not to look geniunely frightened out of his wits. "My name is Xigbar. I'm the second-highest ranking member of Organization XIII; we're a group of Nobodies. That's what you are now, you know. That's why I'm here, you dig? I came to tell you that we're the only ones who know what you are, and the only ones that can help you." He told them, watching their expressions carefully. He had Sharpshooter loaded already as a precaution, but only their next moves would decide his actions.

The man-Marluxia-was quiet for a moment. Larxene was watching him with an unreadable expression, and it unnerved Xigbar deep down somewhere primal inside him. It took him a minute to understand why, but once he had, it chilled him to the bone.

Her eyes were like sharks' eyes. Cold, glazed, and dead; the eyes of a predator. There was nothing human in those eyes. Those were the eyes of someone who had seen and experienced all of the horrors that could befall a human soul and survived.

Xigbar noted this all in an instant and accepted it. Oddly enough, in place of the fear, he was filled with a quiet sort of awe.

The second she pinned him against the tree with a knife to his throat, however, made all that fear return just like it had never left.

Her eyes were wild now, desperate and cornered, which frightened Xigbar more than when they were predatory. He didn't know what she'd do next, and it scared him; the only person who seemed to have any control over her was the other man, and he was simply watching right now, shock written across his face as well.

"You can't take Marluxia away from me." She finally snarled. "We're going to be _free _now. _Don't get in our way." _She spat. Xigbar shook his head.

"All right, all right. I'm not going to take you away from each other. But listen up, princess; if you really think you can play the "us versus the world" game, you're mistaken. As if! You've got one shot, and it's with us." His eyes softened as he finished, and he managed a quick smirk. "Besides, you'd learn who you are. You'd see all of the new worlds, the millions out there that you never knew existed. Be what you _really _are; a Nobody. Come with me. Come _home." _

He had to admit, he might not have been up to Xaldin's standards, but his persuasive skills were nothing to scoff at, either. The woman was quiet for a long minute.

"Larxene, it's going to be okay." The other man said, breaking the silence. "He's right; this could be our first real shot at something worthwhile." He assessed Xigbar quickly. "You're strong. A fighter." He said. It wasn't a question, but Xigbar nodded. He smirked. "See, Larxene? You've got the strength, but no finesse. You can't just run like a frightened little rabbit, now can you, my little lioness? No. You're going to learn how to fight because it is what you _are. _It is in your _blood._ We've been given new lives, Larxene, and now it's time to act on them."

His words even hypnotized Xigbar; the man had the sort of cold, smooth voice that you could easily lose yourself in, and the azure eyes to match. Larxene pulled the knife away from Xigbar's neck and buried herself into Marluxia's chest, shaking with some sort of harsh sensation as she clung to him for dear life.

"It's going to be all right, Larxene. I'm going to protect you." Marluxia promised. "This doesn't change a thing. We're going to stay together, okay?" He sighed with relief as she looked up at him and nodded.

"As if, flower boy." She teased. "You're gonna be the one who needs protecting." She ruffled his hair as Marluxia huffed with mock disgust.

"Well, excuse _me, _princess. Seems like you've got quite a sharp little tongue." He shot back. Larxene just laughed, kissing the tip of his nose before turning back to Xigbar.

"Right. We ought to get going; it's late, and you look like you've got someone to get home to." She said. Xigbar watched her for a minute, stunned into silence. She just flashed him a wicked smile.

He opened the portal without a word, simply giving her a slight bow of respect and a soft, almost impressed snort of laughter as the three disappeared into the darkness and were gone.

* * *

Vexen sighed with disgust, throwing yet another failed heart into the bin. He didn't understand why Xigbar had woken him up; nothing had happened as of yet, and it seemed foolish to think that something _would, _considering it was already almost one in the morning. He stood up, looking around at the scattered reams of paper across the desk. A small smile spread across his lips for an instant. He'd done enough work for today...perhaps a bit of relaxation was in order.

He went upstairs and warmed a cup of boiling hot chocolate, wrapping his hands around the scalding ceramic and sighing with pleasure as he disappeared into the darkness.

He wasn't sure where he wanted to relax, but after a moment's deliberation, he decided to sit outside and watch the sky; even if there were no stars, the beauty of the amethyst sky never failed to take his breath away.

He reappeared in the courtyard, sitting on the sill of one of the windows and looking out over the entire castle. He hummed with delight and sipped his hot chocolate, unaware of the fact that this would be the last moment of relaxation he would have for a very, very long time.


	52. Mine

(EVERYONE GETS SOME FLUFF YAY :D

Xigbar probably actually wrote that book. ^^; It would not surprise me if it was bound in the skin of Pooh Bear or something. o3o

ARM WRESTLING SOLVES ALL PROBLEMS DUH

I figured they needed some sort of twelve-year-old boy pissing contest, and it amused me too much to edit out. Forgive me, cause I know it's totally OOC. The image is just too great.

Fucking escort missions. I am level TWENTY right now and still don't feel like going to bother Cinderella. I hate that damn mission. Just going to keep beating up Unversed and then when I can OHKO everything that so much as TWITCHES at me funny, oh I will escort the SHIT out of her.

Yes I am still pissed. Shutup. xDx

For the record, since it came up earlier and I forgot to mention; it's not love at first sight, since they obviously can't feel love. It's more like a bodily reaction, so to speak; like how you'd notice if something had suddenly heated up or cooled down. Once your body recognizes it, your soul does. Body, soul, and heart are the trinity of the KH 'verse, and since the Nobodies are missing their hearts, their souls pick up the slack, as far as the Mooniverse is concerned.

And Xigbar and Xaldin confide in each other so much. It's kinda cute, tbh, and you'll see more of it when the Apprenticeverse parts come in, I promise. :3

And there you have it. o3o Enjoy this chapter! :3

Don't own KH.

Dedicated to Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. Do want a plushie of him, yessss.)

* * *

Larxene paced a bit behind Marluxia and Xigbar, keeping a wary eye on the city streets. Xigbar sighed, but he didn't know what to tell her that would alleviate her fears. It was all he could do to give her a quick, reassuring smile, but he admitted to himself that it wouldn't really be of much help.

She surprised him by smiling back; enough so that he actually stumbled slightly. She giggled, giving him an amused, haughty smirk as he glared at her. Marluxia rolled his eyes.

"Behave, Larxene, we're trying to make a good impression-" He was cut off as the two of them grasped each other's hands.

"Settling this through arm wrestling?" Larxene challenged, giving him a wicked grin. Xigbar snorted with contempt.

"Of course." He shot back, and as the two struggled for dominance, arms locked in a vicious struggle to the death, Marluxia sighed with disgust.

"I wasn't aware I was being escorted by two twelve-year-old boys." He snapped. They both looked back at him, rolled their eyes, and shrugged, going back to their game.

Marluxia kept up the pace, heading down the small street and looking up at the castle. His speed finally convinced the other two to save their pissing contest for later and bolt after him, finally catching up with him at the castle gates. Both of the neophytes stared up at it in awe, unsure of what to say. Xigbar grinned.

"Yeah, it's pretty sweet here. C'mon, we've got to get inside, it's late." He said, beckoning them both in after him.

Larxene followed right after, but Marluxia had only taken a single step before he froze in his place, eyes wild and alive with something fierce that permeated the air around them. Xigbar turned to face him, and was momentarily knocked off his feet at the expression on his face. It was wild, it was possessive, it was vicious, and the intensity of his burning blue eyes made him shudder.

"His name." Marluxia murmured. Xigbar raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, what?" He asked, kicking himself for sounding so foolish; of all the times to lose his eloquence...

Marluxia pointed up at the castle with a ferocious look still on his face. "_Him." _He whispered. Xigbar followed his gaze until he saw who Marluxia was pointing at and tried not to burst out laughing.

"Vexen?" He howled with incredulous hysteria, trying not to giggle like a lunatic. "Vexen? You've got the hots for _Vexen-" _Marluxia cut him off with a snarl and gave him a look that could have frozen blood. Xigbar schooled his expression and sighed.

"His name's Vexen. He used to be Even. He's number IV in the Organization, and my brother. He wields ice, and, well, to be frank, he's one of the most antisocial people I've ever met." Xigbar told him. Marluxia nodded, processing the new information and keeping a careful eye on the blonde.

"I want him." Marluxia said after a slow minute. There was no nervousness, trepidation, or fear in his voice; just a cool certainty that made Xigbar's hair stand on end. "He's going to be _mine." _

Larxene managed to pull him through the courtyard and inside the castle, but Marluxia didn't take his eyes off Vexen until the doors had shut behind him.

* * *

Xigbar had shown them the third floor and let them pick their own rooms, promising to get them inuduated with the routine by tomorrow before disappearing into the darkness, going to bother the one person he knew he could pester at two in the morning.

"Xaldin, for the love of Christ, put your pants on, this is going to be a serious conversation." Xigbar stated, watching his brother yawn and stretch out in bed before giving him a disgusted glare.

"I'm not taking that rhetoric from someone who treated clothes as an optional accessory on weekends." He shot back, sitting up in bed and beckoning him to sit down beside him. Xigbar rolled his eyes.

"Okay, in my defense, I _did _put pants on when Ienzo was up, I'm not a total pedo." He muttered. Xaldin raised an eyebrow.

"How old is Demyx again?" He teased. Xigbar snarled, pushing him back against the bed and laughing with manic glee as he yanked on Xaldin's braids, his little brother retaliating by pulling on his ponytail and snorting with disgust as he settled back into his seat. Xigbar gestured to Luxord, who was still sleeping peacefully.

"He's a pretty heavy sleeper, huh?" He asked. Xaldin nodded, giving his sleeping lover a sweet, gentle smile that made Xigbar feel like he was intruding on something important and precious.

"I've tried about everything I can think of to wake him up, but it's no use; Luxord will sleep through anything short of a possible nuclear fallout if I let him." He murmured, stroking the blonde's soft, short hair and toying with his glimmering earring. "Anyways, it ensures we'll have privacy. What troubles you, Braig?" He asked. Xigbar didn't waste any time in telling him.

"I found two Nobodies. Marluxia and Larxene; a man and a woman. The first woman we've had yet, come to think of it..." He mused, before shaking his head ferociously and getting back on track. "Anyways, they're really, really attached to each other, so I assumed they were lovers...but Vexen happened to be sitting outside when we were coming back home, and..." Xaldin sat up and stared at him in shock.

"You must be joking." He said, shaking his head in wonder. "I didn't think Vexen went after women."

Xigbar groaned. "He _doesn't_, Dilan; that's my point. It wasn't Larxene that claimed him." He told him. Xaldin's eyes got even wider. Xigbar nodded as Xaldin put his head in his hands.

"We are so _fucked." _He muttered. Xigbar shook his head in wonder.

"We certainly are if you're resorting to cussin', baby bro." He teased. Xaldin shot him a vicious glare as Xigbar tried not to laugh. He sighed, getting serious as he looked up at Xigbar.

"Vexen's going to go through hell. Marluxia, too." He murmured. Xigbar nodded, becoming more morose as he considered the repercussions of what would happen once Vexen laid eyes on Marluxia-and Marluxia got a chance to meet Vexen face-to-face. Xaldin shivered. "You know, I might be a hypocrite, but I'm hoping he'll see the light. I mean, if it worked for _me, _it could work for anyone." He joked. Xigbar nodded, still deep in thought.

"I'm just...hoping this all works out. I'm scared both of and for Vexen. You know what he's like when he pitches his bitch fits..." He said, trailing off with a sigh. Xaldin nodded, managing a small smile. "And not even that, Dilan, just...he's going to...he'll be so lost. I don't know what's going to happen." He confessed. Xaldin shrugged.

"Can any of us really know? I mean, what they do with these feelings is up to them and no one else. We can certainly get involved, and I have a feeling we will, anyways, but...we'll just see what morning brings, hmm?" He soothed Xigbar, tugging gently on his ponytail as his older brother flashed him a small smile.

"Damn right. Now, scoot, Dilan, I've kept you away from your lover too long. Besides, I've been missing Demyx." He said, sighing happily. "See you in the morning, okay?" Xaldin nodded, giving him a sleepy half-smile before burying his face into Luxord's neck and falling asleep almost instantly. Xigbar smiled, kissing the top of his little brother's head with obvious parental affection before disappearing into the darkness, eager to find himself back in his bed with Demyx at his side.

* * *

As Xigbar stepped out of the portal, Peggy hummed softly, signifying his arrival to Demyx, who had sat up and waited for him. He was trying his best to slog his way through _Why Making Nice People and Cute Animals Your Target Practice Can Improve Your Aim _as he cuddled with Xigbar's pillow on his side of the bed_. _Xigbar didn't speak, didn't smile, barely breathed as he opened his arms and let Demyx bury himself into his embrace, giving him a ferocious, passionate kiss as his younger lover mewled with bliss.

"Hey, angel," he gasped, burying his hands into Xigbar's hair as he undid his ponytail and let his hair trail loose and free down his bare back, "miss me?" Xigbar laughed.

"More than anything, kitten." He teased. "But sleepy little kittens need their rest, mind you. We'll sleep in tomorrow, I promise." He picked Demyx up and laid him down in bed, snuggling him under the covers as Peggy hummed a gentle lullaby for them both as Xigbar gathered Demyx into his arms. Demyx giggled, nuzzling his neck.

"Didja find 'em?" He asked. Xigbar nodded. Demyx smiled with relief, yawning widely as he snuggled closer. "Can I meet 'em in the morning?" He asked, yawning even as he said it. Xigbar nodded again, giving him a faint smile as Demyx giggled. "Of course, that's after I have a nice...long..._sleep_ with you, my angel..." He purred. Xigbar grinned, situating his hands right under Demyx's bottom, massaging the soft flesh and relishing his lover's squeak of shock.

"_Just _sleep?" He teased, kissing the top of Demyx's head as his younger lover shot him a glare.

"If you keep me awake for much longer, _yes_." He shot back, but there was no real malice to his voice as he giggled softly, snuggling into Xigbar's embrace with a soft laugh as Xigbar held him tight, murmuring gentle declarations of love as the two of them drifted off, Peggy's strings humming with satisfaction.


	53. The Ice Queen

(God jesus christ Marluxia you're such a fucking slut :D

Also poor Vexen. He knew, poor thing, and went to breakfast anyway. What a brave man. :3

But yeah, I totally did not use my own rainbow sox that are awesome and :D worthy. That would be SILLY. No man would wear rainbow socks! You're all silly, silly people.

Seriously, christ, Marluxia, what the hell. Like, goddamn stalker. Don't you dare turn into Edward Cullen or I will fucking kill you and then myself for writing it.

I GOT OVER THE ESCORT MISSION WOO YAY COMMAND FINISH AND STUFF :D

I'm in Radiant Garden now. Even better show up. :I

So yeah, me and my brutally overleveled self are going to kick some ass. Also, WHY is "Ven-ee-tas" instead of "Vahn-nee-tas?" Is it for the Ventus/Vanitas parallel furthering, or just because people are idiots? Same with Lea and Isa. "Eye-zah" I'll grant you, but "Lee," just, no. "Lay-ah" or "Leah." Otherwise, what the hell is the point of having him be called LEA in the first place god /grumble/

Yes I am bitter. ^^; I find it's more fun to be a bitter old grump. :D

Seriously Terra you are still the most retarded, (and I mean that LITERALLY) person I have EVER MET. EVER. Oh. My. GOD. Evil queen from Snow White? "OHAI HAVE YOU SEEN MASTER SPOCK I MEAN XEHANORT MASTER XEHANORT" like, omfg.

Although Snow White and her obnoxious grating voice make me want to eat her face off. Also her YET ANOTHER escort mission. God. I am the worst Princess of Heart EVER.

MASTER XEHANORT LIKES HIS MILKING OF THE COW GESTURES YES

Speaking of, this chapter is now dedicated to Adam West. BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT.

Right don't own KH. You are sitting through my playthrough of BBS though and YOU WILL LIKE IT. :D)

* * *

Vexen woke up the next morning with an odd fluttering sensation in his stomach. He winced, shifting in bed and sitting up, realizing he had pulled the blankets up around him during the night as they fell down into his lap. The cool air of his room was a familiarity, and today it served as a comfort as he got dressed, the freezing temperature quelling the fluttering and swooping feelings within him.

He put socks on with haste; he relished and embraced the cold most of the time, but he could not abide his feet being frozen. The rainbow fabric kept his feet shielded from the bitterly cold stone floor as he headed out of his room and past the lab, heading up the stairs and onto the first floor, heading for the staircase as he stretched, shaking out the last bits of morning lethargy.

For some reason, as he reached the steps, it felt like an avalanche had hit his stomach; he inhaled shallow breaths while he tried to assess what had just happened. It was only a moment before he placed his hand over his chest, and to his growing horror, he discovered a soft, gentle throbbing below his fingers and a tugging sensation in his chest.

* * *

Marluxia awoke just after Vexen did, with the same pulsing, pounding hunger in his chest. He moaned in ecstasy, already awaiting the chance to finally meet his mate. He slid out of bed and landed on the floor, feet quiet as cat's paws on the carpet as he went to go wake up Larxene.

She rolled over in her sleep and opened one bleary eye. "Marly?" She whispered. "This isn't a dream?"

Marluxia nodded, kneeling down and gathering her into his arms, letting her fall asleep once more against his chest. "No, Lar." He murmured back. "We're free forever now." He told her, the promise feeling right and pure on his lips as she shifted to smile up at him.

"I need to sleep more, Marly. Come back for me in a bit, okay?" She pleaded. Marluxia nodded, holding her close.

"Of course, Lar. I'm not going to leave you, okay?" He murmured. She nodded, letting him pick her up and put her on his bed, covering her with the comforter and making sure she had fallen back asleep before leaving the room and heading down the hall, a small daisy wound around Larxene's fingers remaining as the only clue he'd been there.

* * *

Vexen stormed into the kitchen, breezing past his brothers and yanking a coffee mug off of the shelf while he tried to ignore the insistent, almost harsh tugging that had spread from his chest and was now reaching all the way down to his stomach.

With a twisted sort of smirk across his face, he slammed the mug down on the microwave dish and heated the ceramic up while he brewed a boiling pot of coffee, ignoring everyone in favor of focusing only on the sweet, luscious coffee, so perfect and sharp...such a perfect scent...a _distracting _scent that wouldn't let him dwell on the feelings within his chest...

"Oh, hey Marluxia. Mornin'. Where's Larxene?" Xigbar's voice invaded his senses, and Vexen willed himself to face the coffee machine, ignoring the world around him as he heard the soft swish of a long black coat.

"Good morning, Xigbar. Larxene's still asleep; she had been on the run longer than I had, and the stress appears to be catching up with her. I intended to wake her up after breakfast." He told him. Xigbar grinned, leaning back in his chair and noting with delight that Vexen still had his back to them all and his mug in his hands, clenching it so tight his knuckles had gone even whiter under his skin.

"No big, we'll introduce her later. Anyways, Mar, this is the family; long story short, the first six of us were brothers before all this happened, and we still consider ourselves thus, emotions or no emotions." He said, watching as Marluxia tried in vain to focus on him; his eyes simply kept wandering over to Vexen's form, so tantalizingly close to him. Xigbar smirked, but kept the soft laugh to himself.

"Xeh is our Superior, and he's pretty good at it, I suppose...but he does talk for, like, hours, so bring a book to read during the meetings." Xigbar teased. Xemnas glared at him.

"Hell with you, Braig, I just woke up." He muttered bitterly, slamming cups and plates down on the table as Xigbar cackled with glee.

"Saix have a rough night, Xemnas?" He purred, watching with delight as Xemnas came dangerously close to punching a hole in the wall as Axel focused his glare on the Superior. Marluxia rolled his eyes.

"You're the second in rank, yes. Xigbar, the Freeshooter, and you manipulate space, as you so kindly demonstrated last night." Marluxia said. Xigbar raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Very perceptive, Mar." He said, giving him a quick nod of praise before sitting back in his chair. "The huge kid with the braids and sideburns is my baby brother, Dilan, Xaldin, whatever. He's the third of our Organization, and he uses wind as a weapon. Luxord's his partner; he wields time, which sounds just as weird to you as it does to me, I'm sure." He told him. Marluxia nodded as Xaldin glared at Xigbar.

"I'm twenty-nine, Xigbar; I'm not a kid." He muttered. Xigbar crowed with delight, ruffling his braids as Xaldin squealed with indignation, trying to put them back in place as he shouted, "You know damn well not to touch those, Xigbar!"

Xigbar looked at Vexen and got quiet for a minute, weighing his options. With a shrug, he turned back to the table. "Lexaeus uses earth; speaking of, he's got a small garden started, so if you want to go help him out, it would probably be a good way to exercise your talent. He's quiet, but trust me, if you bother him enough, he'll open up."

The auburn-haired man whom Marluxia had initially regarded as a small bear gave him an honest, open smile that actually stunned him enough for him to forget about Vexen for an instant. By the time he remembered to ask, Xigbar was already off and running again.

"That's Ienzo; he can act like a brat, but he's a really good kid. If you're up to having your intellect horribly mocked and your self-esteem shattered, it's fun to hang out with him." He said, prompting Zexion to smack him over the head and hiss at him. Xigbar laughed.

"Right, so, Saix-puppy; he's Xeh's second in command, and really, _really _strong. You use a scythe?" Xigbar asked. "I saw it in your room." Marluxia nodded, and Xigbar grinned, pleased at his correct assumption. "Killer. Saix can probably help you out. Anyways, Axel's his best friend, and he's...well, Axel. We all got used to it eventually."

Marluxia watched as Xigbar began to smile; it was a perfect, joyous, blissful smile, and he was now focusing his attention on a blonde child leaning against his leg as Xigbar sat above the table next to him. "This is Demyx, my lover. He's the sweetest goddamn thing on the whole planet, and I'd do anything for him." He said, prompting the younger boy to squeak with shy delight and hug him tightly. "Oh, and his sitar's name is Peggy. She can sort-of talk. It's...complicated." Xigbar sighed. "And that's it! You're good, Mar."

Marluxia was quiet for a minute, taking it all in as his eyes met theirs.

He moved so quickly, so gracefully, that no one had time to even notice that he had stood up until he'd reached Vexen and pinned him to the wall.

Their eyes met; Vexen's were wide with shock and confusion, and he was already looking for a way out of Marluxia's arms. Marluxia himself was quiet, pleased, almost like a satisfied feline as he took his hand and cupped Vexen's chin gently, tilting his head up so their eyes could meet. Determined, dominating blue met with cornered, frightened emerald, and even through the all-consuming fear, Vexen felt his soul burst into light and flame; all he could do was tremble in the other man's grasp.

"Your name, my love." Marluxia murmured. "Tell me your name."

Vexen stammered, still trying to gather his thoughts and string together a coherent sentence as Marluxia hissed with displeasure and placed his other hand against Vexen's chest, letting their pulsing spirits connect to one another as he leaned in ever closer.

"Your name." He repeated.

At Marluxia's initial words, the temperature in the room seemed to have dropped around twenty degrees, but with his last statement, it must have fallen another ten. Vexen swallowed, still trembling.

"Vexen." He whispered, his voice little more than a gentle hush. "Vexen." Marluxia nodded, stroking his cheekbones with a single delicate finger, tracing the feathery blush that spilled across his cheeks as he smiled.

"Beautiful." He purred. "You...are..._mine." _

With that, Marluxia disappeared into the darkness, leaving ten stunned Organization members and one incredibly bemused and horrified lover behind him.


	54. Noodle

(Marluxia's attitude is rather...mrr. There's something about it that I adore writing. Vexen being stubborn and smart and snippy is wonderful, but seeing him being taken care of and watched over...I just want Vexen to be happy. Shutup, I know he's not real, I stopped caring so long ago it's not even funny.

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO BRAIG'S VOICE WHAT KIND OF HERESY IS THIS

No longer is it that deep, dark-humoured rasp, and that breaks my heart. I just pretend it is. :D No Even, however. /heartbroken./

Ventus is so cute it makes me want to cry, knowing what happens to him. They all suffer too much. Fuck.

Yup. This is the "noodle incident" that happened to poor Xaldin. If you see how Larxene kicks Sora in CoM...now imagine that, only with real intent to kill behind it. Poor, poor Xaldin. Luxord better take care of you for a long, long time...

Must write MarVex now. Poor bubbies need cuddling and loving. IJCDIS HERE I COME :D

Seriously, Lexaeus...awww. He's just very gentle and careful with her. He's a good man, and he is good for Larxene. She's dysfunctional herself, but their relationship isn't. :3 It's nice...

In other news, BBS observations: TERRA IS STILL A MORON THE END.

Also I have a theory as to why he meets so few people; his isolation from the normal, non-evil residents of the worlds he visits, (excluding Cinderella), is a part of the reason he succumbs to the darkness so much.

Bastard or not to fight, Braig, you didn't deserve that. Although in my canon you get your face mauled open by a cosmic horror just for being in the way, so you know...

/hugs Braig tight/ Also. Zack.

Adorable. Good man. Hero.

FUCKING COMBOS MAN HOW DO THEY WORK.

Literally just kept restarting until he DIDN'T kill me instantly, then used Curaga and kept whacking it until the darkness was out. Good god almighty. I was ready to KILL HIM.

Can I skip Disney Town? Please tell me I can just skip Disney Town. I SUCK at racing games. :( If I can't, I'll just ask my daddy to help. He's really good at racing games. Me? I can drive around the track THE WRONG WAY for the entire race. ^^;

I'm still pissed about no Even. I need to go look up fanart.

Don't own KH~

Dedicated to my Pokemon. If I listed them ALL I'd be here all day, but shoutouts to my all-stars; Firefly, Risky, Sugarnaut, Totoro, Dante, Akor, Agdistis, Smoketail, Moonwise, and all mah bois and gurls! :D)

* * *

Marluxia went back to his room, opening the door to find Larxene still asleep in his bed. He crossed the room and climbed in beside her, sitting up and pulling the blankets up over both of them. He assumed there was a library within the castle, but he hadn't had time to look, and he was going to be a perfect gentleman and wait for his lover to adjust to having a protector, a guardian, and a master.

Marluxia shivered with delight, leaning against the pillows. Yes...he'd found his perfect little doll, his pale, porcelain masterpiece. His brilliant little sweetheart..._Vexen. _All his. Vexen was _all his, _and if anyone tried to infringe on that claim, Marluxia would murder them without a second thought. The throbbing in his chest seemed to agree, pulsing and burning in response to his righteous fury.

He looked down at Larxene and his eyes softened; they went from harsh and possessive to gentle and protective. She was so strong, but under it...there was a swirling, vicious vortex of lightning and thunder and pain. It was deep, deep down under her surface, tucked away in the farthest fathoms, but it was there, and he recognized it, understanding and accepting it.

"Rest, Larxene." He whispered into her ear, smiling at the soft huff of protesting breath he received in return, "I'll be back for you shortly, my little lioness."

He disappeared once more, leaving behind a small cluster of cherry blossoms which settled across the bed in gentle, curving waves of petals.

* * *

Vexen screamed, throwing a thick textbook treatise on the Heartless across his room, where it hit the wall and bounced off the side with a soft, thick thump before landing on the floor. He tore up a few scrapped hypothesis notes and froze them, letting the ice crumble under his fingers as he threw himself on the bed and roared in hatred.

That _bastard! _Humiliating him like that, calling him _his_! Damn this placebo, he would _never _submit! He wouldn't...accept this...it wasn't _fair..._he didn't _want _this...he just wanted to be left _alone..._

Vexen was the eldest of the Apprentices; he was brilliant, he was dedicated, and he had served as a mother for all of them when Ansem was gone and they were alone. He was strong; not strong like Lexaeus or Xaldin, but he had managed to build a wonderful ice palace to hide within, its' walls impenetrable, glistening crystal that could never be trespassed.

He had weathered all the storms that had come his way; losing his heart, his father, and his life, and still his wasteland had never been traversed, his ice kingdom never conquered. He had reigned alone. He had _stayed _alone. It was all he could ask for, being who he was.

With a few simple words, that man had torn down an entire forretress that had taken years of careful crafting and planning to build. He had left him naked, vulnerable, helpless, and _wanting._

Vexen was brave. He was strong, he was stubborn, he was smart.

For the first time in a long, long time, he broke down and cried.

* * *

Marluxia paused at the top of the steps. Xigbar had told him where the lab was, and he'd finally reached the edge of the stairs, debating what he should do now. Vexen had been shocked; no wonder. His little doll had never been coveted by another. That pleased Marluxia, but he also understood why Vexen would be so frightened. Marluxia shook his head and smiled. His little doll should not fear his protector, his master. He would give his Vexen a gift...something to please him.

Vexen realized that a small cherry blossom had fallen on top of his head, tumbling down gently to wipe away the trail of tears he'd left. He stared at it in shock, taking it gently in his fingers and observing it. It was a simple little blossom, but something about it managed to wash away the hideous sort of hopelessness he'd felt only moments before.

He put it on his bedside table and curled back up in bed, too worn out from crying to consider who had gifted him with the blossom.

* * *

Larxene awoke slowly, a small sigh of contentment escaping her lips as she sat up in bed. Marluxia had probably gone off to wander around, but he'd left her a change of clothes to get dressed. She sat up and stretched, undressing quickly and relishing the soft black pants and shirt against her skin before creeping out of the room and looking out the nearest window.

A vast expanse of cold marble stretched out beyond the castle boundaries, culminating in a large battlefield set on the edge of the hall. She saw Xigbar out there, sparring with a man she did not know. Xigbar was safe; not Marluxia-safe, but all right. She would go down to see him.

Larxene walked quietly down the hall and headed down the steps, opening the mammoth castle doors and stepping out into the cool darkness of the World that Never Was.

She passed through the Hall of Empty Melodies with a few passing glances, the architecture interesting enough, but not so much as the fight she could hear just outside the castle gates. She went past them without hesitation, stepping out on the winding pathway and heading for the battlefield.

By the time she'd arrived, Xigbar had set his weapons down and was talking to the man who he'd been sparring with. Larxene tensed, drawing her knives as the lightning began to spark around her shoulders, humming (_worryworryworry protectprotectsafe?) _as it darted up and down her arms. Xigbar turned and caught sight of her, signaling to the other man and beckoning to her. She came forward, but her knives were still at her side and the little spark of lightning puffed up like an angered cat.

"Hey, Larxene." Xigbar said, voice calm and measured as he watched her. "Glad you're awake. I was starting to worry you'd gotten sick." He pointed to the other man beside him, tugging on his braids in what Larxene assumed was affection. "This is Xaldin, my brother. He's not too bad, I swear, but he does get really verbose. If you ask nicely, maybe he'll bother to translate." He teased. Xaldin glared at him, tugging on his ponytail before turning to Larxene.

"Pleasure." He murmured. "Can you fight? I haven't had a challenge in quite some time."

Larxene moaned quietly, the lightning sending harsh sparking bliss across her sensations as she drew her knives. Fighting. Yes, yes, fighting, fight like Relane never did, fight men, hurt men, _kill every last one of them-_

Xigbar gaped in shock as Larxene lashed out, screaming in hatred as lightning crackled and sparked around her knives, aiming right for Xaldin's chest.

The lancer wasn't an idiot; his reaction was quick enough, lashing out with a lance to deflect the blade of the knife, but what he hadn't counted on was Larxene being fueled by hatred and rage rather than an actual desire to fight. He had tried to be gentle while pushing her away, not wanting to hurt her.

It was a big mistake on his part. Larxene ducked his next blow and lashed her leg out, slamming a kick to the back of his knee. Xaldin tried to keep his balance, but Larxene hit him again and he fell, Xigbar finally trying to pull him up before Larxene roared like a rabid animal at him and he settled for trying to yank Xaldin out of harm's way.

Larxene would not be deterred so easily, however; she slammed a kick into his chest, knocking the wind out of him before hissing with hatred and bloodlust.

"_All of you." _She snarled. "All of you with your _hands _and your _teeth _and your god damned _cocks, _I swear to god I'll kill you all, kill you _all, kill every last fucking one of you and I'll start now I swear to god-" _

She aimed the next kick right for his groin, and by the time the screams of pain had finally reached beyond her rage and into her senses, she had fainted, the lightning fading away and disappearing into the darkness.

Xigbar looked at the both of them in horror, unsure of what to say. Xaldin snarled, sitting up and screaming with sudden pain. "What the _fuck, _Braig?" He roared, standing up on quivering legs to shake his brother by the shoulders. "What the hell is _wrong _with her?"

Xigbar shook his head. "Dilan, I don't know. I'm so damn sorry. I didn't know she would do that...she almost killed you. I'm so, so sorry. Please...forgive me." He murmured. Xaldin groaned, glaring at him.

"I'll forgive you, but not _her. _She is a god damn _demon, _Xigbar, and if she's going to kill us all, I'm really thinking this is kind of a bad idea to keep her here!" He snapped. Xigbar nodded.

"I get it, I get it. C'mon, we'll head inside; let her stay out here, she'll be fine." He murmured, summoning a portal for them and disappearing into the darkness.

* * *

Lexaeus sighed, heading down to the battlefield with a small murmur of worry as he reached the castle gates. From the sound of it, there had been another fight, and he was going to bring down bandages and probably meditate a squabble as well, if he knew his brothers by now...

He walked outside the castle walls and stopped at the edge of the field, eyes widening with shock as he saw someone lying on the ground with no one else in sight. He bolted towards the person, the shock occupying his mind too much for him to realize that a pulsing, pounding sensation had started up in his chest.

He knelt beside the body and turned it over with gentle care, realizing with a start of shock as he saw her face that she was indeed a woman. Could this be the Larxene that Xigbar had mentioned? She wouldn't be here otherwise...no normal person could get themselves here...

He took a quick, calculating glance up and down her body; there were no wounds or blood across her face, and nothing seemed to be broken, so what had happened? Had Xigbar hurt her?

For a reason he wasn't quite sure of yet, rage and fury flared up in him at that, a mostly-foreign feeling that shook him to his core. He shook his head, regaining his senses. No, his brother would never do that. Braig might have a temper, but he was a good man. So what _had _happened?

He was jolted out of his musing when she stirred in his arms, moaning softly with pain. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could get any words to come out of his mouth, she had opened her eyes and focused her gaze on him.

Larxene tensed, preparing for a fight as the lightning roared and raged in her mind, sparks already dancing across her skin as she looked up at the man holding her in his arms.

Her first thought was that his eyes were beautiful. Her second thought was blocked out by the screaming, throbbing pain in her chest as she howled with burning agony, writhing in his arms. He held her close, but it wasn't hurting, pressing close, it was a gentle sort of close that was keeping her steady.

"Just hold on." He murmured. "Don't be frightened."

He didn't let go until she'd relaxed in his arms, the screaming pain slowly being replaced by a much gentler throbbing, something that was soft and comforting rather than harsh or painful. He smiled down at her as she closed her eyes again, the pain having worn her out once more.

"Good girl, Larxene," he murmured, "such a brave girl."

* * *

Xaldin had been forced back to bed with Luxord having promised to "take care" of him, (with Xigbar wondering how much Xaldin would enjoy that at this point), and as Xigbar sat in Xemnas' office, he wondered how the hell he'd gotten himself into this mess in the first place.

"Do you think Marluxia would know anything about this?" Xemnas asked, leaning his elbows on the desk. Xigbar shrugged.

"I figure, but to what extent, I don't know. She's just...vicious, Xeh. Jesus, you should've seen her, it was like a fucking atom bomb going off in a thunderstorm. She terrified the living shit out of me and I'm not ashamed to admit that." He told him, watching Xemnas raise an eyebrow.

"Do you think we should eliminate her? You know I am capable of it." He murmured. Xigbar shook his head.

"Uh-uh. Give it one more day at least; Marluxia is probably a good controlling force for her, and maybe it was just a fluke. Like with Demyx, you know? The triggers and all." He said. Xemnas nodded.

"Actually, you're right. Speak to Marluxia and see if you can find anything out about her past, please. It should prevent further incidents in the future." He said. Xigbar sighed in relief.

"All right, Xeh. I'll go talk to him now." He agreed, standing up and heading for the door. Just before his hand touched the doorknob, the door swung open and Lexaeus stood in the doorway.

"There's no need." He murmured. "She claimed me."


	55. Doll

(Don't worry; the next chapter or two is LarxLex centric. The thing is, in combining two arcs, sometimes it'll be a MarVex chapter, then switch back the next chapter, or meld halfway through, and vice-versa. It'll make sense as you read it though, I promise. :3

Since FtM's only got like one more chapter left, and you know they live now, I figure I'll do a Halloween special. :3 I have most of their costumes done already, but I gotta keep thinking on a few, heh.

Also, in annoying news, my English teacher-who I normally regard quite highly and with much respect, considering she's like eighty-five and still a pretty badass old lady, (the fact that she looks like Wendy Oldbag is just icing on the awesome cake), called my zombie short story "like Twilight (but better.)"

Okay, for the record? The zombie girl EATS him. EATS HIM. ALIVE.

And they were ZOMBIES! I SAID THEY WERE ZOMBIES LIKE TEN TIMES! I MADE REFERENCES TO OLD ZOMBIE STORIES AND ZOMBIE MOVIE DIRECTORS!

ZOMBIES=/=VAMPIRES!

Also my work=/=Twilight. No offense, but dude, I, as a sixteen-year-old fanfiction writer, can write better than Smeyers. I was going to hand her FtM, but one, it's the since of a decent length novel, two, the sex and violence aren't really good for English class, and three, well, COME ON THEY WERE ZOMBIES NOT VAMPIRES.

God I am so pissed it's not even funny. I HATE how people-even people who should KNOW BETTER, obviously-just equate supernatural romance with Twilight. Uh, hello, Dracula? Mina/Drac? Carmilla/any woman ever? H.P. Lovecraft/Cthulu? (OTP for Lovecraft xD) Like, come on! Supernatural romances have been going on all throughout literature, and have been handled much better by much better authors than Smeyers. Although she's an asshole on Lovecraft's level, he at least wrote circles around the cupid stunt. /groan/

Right, moving on, Marluxia can get all cute and moofy. For some reason, he reminded me of Mufasa as I wrote this. Don't ask me why; the two have nothing in common, and if anything, Marluxia would be SCAR. I have no idea.

BBS NEWZ: Still can't win the fucking racing game. Argh. I am skipping it, going to Deep Space, and hoping Disney Town is optional. I don't need Chaos Snake, kthnx. I suck at Shotlocks anyway. I have Mega Flare maxed out; your argument is irrelevant. :D

Also, according to a friend, it is NOT optional. MOTHERFUCKER. VEN. WHY DID YOU GIVE ME THIS PASS. HOW COULD YOU. :(

Ventus is so cute it is physically painful. He just makes me go all Mama Bear on his behalf, and god help anyone who hurts him if I somehow find my way there. Between shacking up with the Apprentices and making sure they don't pull all those stupid stunts with the darkness and cuddling the everloving hell out of Ienzo, I'd have to find time to snuggle Ven at every humanly possibly opportunity. And kick Vanitas' ass from here to sixteen ways to Sunday, bitch.

Which is weird, considering I don't really ship Terra/Ven, but VenVan...I blame Vani for being all "corrupting your purity," which with someone like Ven...meowr.

But I'd still kick his ass. Master Xehanort's, too. Sorry, Spock, but IT'S PERSONAL. :I

And Aqua is so beautiful and kind and wonderful that I'm debating a yuri OC/Aqua fic, solely to beef up her story. Also to write what would probably be the first yuri OC fic. It wouldn't be on FtM's level of length, I don't think, but hey. She's beautiful. ^^;

(So for those who didn't know before hand, yes I am bisexual. ^^;)

Also, more PRONUNCIATION COMPLAINTS :D Eh-ven? Really? REALLY. We are calling him a name that calls to mind 'jock from the midwest' now? Ee-vehn, and I don't care if it sounds like the word. Fuck it, he's still bangin'. I'm only human.

ALSO: As for Alice, she won't show up for awhile. Sorry! ^^; They're not going on a mission quite yet...

Don't own KH.

Dedicated to everything. Merry Christmas, world at large.)

* * *

Lexaeus sat down as his brothers both watched him with stunned expressions across their faces, unsure of what to say. Lexaeus nodded. "Indeed. If it's a true connection, I should be able to keep her more...violent tendencies in check." He murmured. "What _did _happen out there, Xigbar?" He asked. Xigbar shuddered.

"Shit, I don't know. Dilan just asked if she could fight and she fucking lost her shit, screaming something about murdering the crap out of everything, really," he said dryly, prompting a laugh from Xemnas as Lexaeus glared at him, "but she went after him like a lunatic, which I do know for certain. She passed out after it, so I'm not sure if it was like Demyx's little hurricane incident," Lexaeus was the one who laughed this time, muttering, "_Little _hurricane incident, Braig?" Xigbar glared at him before continuing.

"_Anyway,_ it shouldn't happen again, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. But yes, basically, let's just hope Lex can take care of her okay. I'll go talk to Marluxia anyway." Xigbar finished. Xemnas nodded.

"All right. I trust the both of you." He murmured. The two of them flashed him a quick smile before leaving the study. Xemnas sighed, reclining in his chair and sending a message through the darkness for his Saix to come join him.

* * *

Xigbar found Marluxia outside, sitting on the small, rough patch of earth Lexaeus had started to till and scribbling down notes on a scrap of paper. He snapped his fingers, the noise making Marluxia start, meeting his eyes with a look of curiousity.

"Is everything all right, Xigbar?" He asked, voice almost sweetly cold as his look changed from curious to disturbed, "because unless it's an emergency, I'm perhaps not in the best of moods to be interrupted."

Xigbar swallowed. It had to be about Vexen, because he'd pegged Marluxia as pretty unflappable. Only Vexen could drive a man to that state of frustration. He hid a grin and nodded. "Actually, yeah, it is. It's about Larxene."

The pencil he'd been holding snapped in two as he gripped splinters of wood, eyes filled with something vicious and hateful and deadly that made Xigbar immediately tense for a fight.

"If any of you hurt her, I'll make you scream forever." He murmured. The tone was gentle, and the threat was even somewhat cliche. But the voice behind it was chilled and poisonous, and Xigbar knew he was serious. Of course, that didn't mean he was going to be a cowed little waif.

"As if! Of course we fuckin' didn't, idiot." He snapped. "She's a part of our Organization now, and that means we take care of her, dig?" He watched as Marluxia leaned back, the cold rage in his eyes dying down slightly. The renewed curiousity on his face made Xigbar courageous enough to continue.

"That's not it, anyways. She went berserk in battle against Xaldin, and it wasn't a fight, Mar-it was with an honest to god intent to kill. And that scared the shit out of me. Now, do you know anything about who she was before she met you?" He asked. Marluxia shook his head.

"I'm afraid I can't help you there. Larxene doesn't really seem to remember much, and even if she does, she hasn't felt ready to enlighten me." He said dryly, leaning against the cool loam and sighing with exasperation. "Besides, I have far too much on my plate right now. Your brother is a frigid little doll, isn't he?" He murmured, and Xigbar felt the air around the both of them chill once more. His next words were spat out from between clenched teeth, venom coating each word.

"Did anyone break my doll, Xigbar?" He whispered. "Did anyone play with Vexen, as enraptured by his chilled beauty as I am now? To wit, I'll say it frankly, Xigbar-_if anyone touched my Vexen, I will kill them before you or anyone else can stop me._" Xigbar knew Marluxia was once again, dead serious, so he went on the offensive and diffused the situation.

"No, no, Vexen's just...Vexen. This is how he is. Can you handle him the way he is now without wanting to turn away? Does the frigidness, so to speak, disturb you so much?" He shot back. Seeing Marluxia apparently not accepting Vexen for who he was pissed him off more than he even realized; to him, the idea of not loving Demyx exactly the way he was didn't even have a place within his thoughts. Marluxia surprised him by laughing.

"No, Xigbar. To be frank, it turns me on." He purred. "It makes me want him _more." _Calculating blue eyes surveyed him with a measured gaze. "I'm certain you understand that hunger, Xigbar. Demyx is yours as Vexen is mine; there can be no doubt in my mind, then, that you feel the same tearing, pulsing, pounding, vicious, absolutely ecstatically insane sort of bliss when you look at him? That you feel like you're not sure whether you're standing on solid ground or walking on gossamer webs? Does he make you want to kiss him until you're both sore and bleeding, moaning in absolute passion, as much as you want to shake him until he understands that your feelings are communal, shared between the two of you like a single entwined existence, a consciousness shared by two lovers lost within each others' depths?" He snapped.

Xigbar couldn't help it; he laughed with a wicked grin across his face, shaking his head. "You hit the nail on the head, Mar. Except for the last bit, obviously, but that was exactly how I felt until Demyx let me in." He said, getting serious. "And, funny enough you should mention it...Larxene has discovered those same sort of sensations for herself." Marluxia was quiet for a minute, considering something as he sat there, Xigbar finding his silence more and more unnerving as he did.

"Who?" He asked. Xigbar swallowed.

"Lexaeus." He replied. Marluxia nodded, and suddenly the tension drained from his body.

"Good." He murmured. "That's...good."

Xigbar couldn't help but be slightly uneasy about his sudden acceptance, and why he'd been so testy in the first place. "Mar..." He asked, suddenly realizing what had really been bothering him, "what would you have done if she'd found someone else? Someone else who wasn't good, so to speak?"

His reply was short, brutal, and honest.

"Kill them." He murmured.

Xigbar knew he shouldn't have agreed with him, but he knew that deep within himself, his spirit roared in communion. He simply nodded. "You care for her that much?" He asked. Marluxia nodded.

"She came to me." He said, a small smile gracing his lips. "She didn't want anything from me. And I saw how much she needed for herself, and I just...wanted to keep her safe." He murmured, his smile getting gentler as he let a small morning glory blossom in between his outstretched fingers.

"Funny," he mused, "I think that's why I fell in love with Vexen, too."

Xigbar couldn't help but smile.


	56. Strawberries

(Larxene's first breakdown in front of Lexaeus. It's...not pretty. ^^; Well, obviously, PTSD is a bitch. (From someone who knows. ._.)

Lexaeus is so good about it though...he's understanding and helpful and just...damn, I wish all the people who go through the sort of things she did get a Lexaeus of their own one day.

Strawberries are okay, but raspberries are better. Trufax.

Also; BBS NOOZ: Your Daily BBS Report!

Ah, EXP walker, how I love thee. Melding the shit out of commands atm, getting my Magic/Attack hastes maxed out, and my treasure magnets as well. INCREASED DROP RATE AHOY. Still ignoring you, DisneyTown. Starting on Deep Space after I finish my English project. Getting my ass kicked in the Mirage Arena. ^^; Goddamn Iron Imprisoner II. I need the Xehanort Report, b/c goddess knows I'm not coming back and replaying as Terra, his story is waaay too fucking depressing.

Magnega is my new favorite command, fwiw. :D Best thing evarrrr. Especially for Buckle Bruisers, who piss me off simply by existing. Evil motherfuckers.

Right, so that's it! Mostly a LarxLex centric chapter, thus they're just blossoming into a relationship now. It makes it hard to snark when it's so cute. xDx

Tuh'd Ufh GR.

(Al Bhed. ^^;)

Dedicated toooo Dub, because he promised me a rhyming FtM review. Of all the chapters. Wow, good luck. ^^;)

* * *

Lexaeus stood outside the door to her room, wincing as he debated what to do. He had placed her in the room next to Marluxia's; it had seemed appropriate. He wasn't sure if she was even awake, but he was desperate to go check on her. Something within him was desperate to be near her, to touch her and hold her, to reassure her that nothing would ever hurt her again...

He shook his head. No; right now, he needed self-restraint. She was obviously hurting, and he wasn't sure of how or why. It would be foolish and dangerous to storm into her room and throw himself at her feet and beg for her to accept him as a guardian and protector if he didn't know what she was thinking. So he had to be gentle and careful, and hope that given the time, she would open up to him on her own.

He opened the door and stepped inside, his footsteps quiet against the carpeted floor. She had spread out over the bed and tossed and turned in her sleep; the blankets he'd given her had been thrown off the bed and onto the floor. He couldn't help but smile in amusement; her face was smooth and serene, and she slept peacefully amidst the chaos of her bed. He picked up one of the blankets off the floor and laid it across her once more, making sure it covered her entirely before sitting down in the corner of the room and opening a book to pass away the time, waiting for her to wake up.

Larxene didn't remember her dreams. Ever since she'd woken up with the blood sticking to her skin like a malignant tumor, she hadn't been able to dream. She wasn't sure why, but it didn't matter; whatever had happened to her, she probably didn't want to dream about it anyway.

"You're awake." A gentle voice startled her out of her half-wakeful state, and she sat up in bed. As she looked up, she realized she was looking right into the eyes of a _man. _An unfamiliar _man_. She trembled, trying to pull her knives out before realizing she couldn't pull a knife on this man. She just couldn't. Something powerful, something all-consuming and yet perfect and gentle...it made her lay down her knives and hold his gaze. The man smiled reassuringly at her. "I'm glad to see you're safe. I couldn't find any injuries on you, but I didn't check under your clothing; was there something I missed? Are you bruised or wounded in any way?" He asked. Larxene stared blankly up at him, unsure of what to say to such kindness. Lexaeus understood her apprehension and waited, knowing she had to gather her thoughts together.

"I'm...fine." She murmured. "I'm safe here. Marluxia said so." She said firmly. Lexaeus nodded.

"You are safe. But I just would like to know if your body is injured in any way." He told her. Larxene shook her head, and he sighed with relief. "Good. That's all I can ask for, then." He murmured. Larxene nodded. Lexaeus inclined his head and smiled at her. "My name is Lexaeus. You haven't been introduced to the others of the Organization, I assume, but don't worry. I can show you around when you are well, if you like." He offered, the pulsing, humming feeling in his chest begging and pleading for her to say yes. Larxene was quiet for a moment before nodding.

"That'd be nice." She said. "My name's Larxene." Lexaeus nodded.

"Absolutely wonderful. Are you hungry, Larxene? I can bring you something to eat, or we could go to the kitchen, if you wish." He offered. Larxene smiled faintly at him, still slightly nervous and wary, but he knew that she must feel the same sort of warm sensation in her chest and he prayed it was enough.

"Well, I don't really know much about this place, and since I guess Marluxia and I are living here now...we could go to the kitchen. That would be nice." She said. Lexaeus sighed with relief.

"It would be absolutely wonderful. Do you like coffee?" He asked. Larxene laughed.

"Yeah, kinda. I like strawberries better though. What do you like?" She asked. Lexaeus blinked. He hadn't been expecting her to ask something like that, and it had taken him off guard.

"I...I suppose I don't really have very many preferences. I don't eat very much, since I work so often down in the lab." He told her. Larxene shook her head.

"I like cooking. Food's nice. It made me happy...gave me something to do...when I had, you know, when he wasn't home." She murmured, so softly that Lexaeus assumed she thought he couldn't hear her. He didn't want to probe deeper into what was obviously an agonizing wound just yet, so all he let himself do was squeeze her hand gently. She tensed, but then after he relaxed his hold slightly, he felt her hand settle into his and a gentle sigh escape her lips. He smiled in triumph as he helped her stand up and walk away from the room, shutting the door behind them both with a sense of finality and new beginnings.

* * *

Larxene followed him down the steps with wild, calculating eyes, eyes that reminded Lexaeus far too much of a caged animal's than he would like to admit. He sighed, unsure of what to tell her. He knew he had to say something, however, so he held the door leading downstairs into the kitchen open for her with a small smile and murmured, "Larxene, there's no need to worry. The castle might seem imposing, but it's just us in here, and if you do get lost, you can disappear into the darkness and find your way back to where you were." Larxene wrinkled her nose, confused by his declaration.

"The darkness? How do you do that?" She asked. Lexaeus grimaced; right, Larxene was a newborn Nobody. She probably wasn't fully aware of the extent of her power. He bowed slightly to her and waved a hand out, conjuring a portal to the darkness.

"We're Nobodies. This is reflexive behavior for us, Larxene. It's a way for us to travel between worlds and within the castle. See?" He walked into the portal and disappeared. For him, this was as normal occurrence. Thus, he wasn't prepared for the hideous reaction he received as a result of his actions.

"WHERE ARE YOU?" Larxene roared, eyes wild and lightning blazing and hissing under her feet as she screamed in an agonized gasping sort of terrified way, clawing at the floor where he'd been standing and looking around the room, breath coming in short, shallow bursts as she crouched on the floor like a wild animal. "DON'T YOU DARE HIDE FROM ME! I WILL KILL YOU! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT, AND I'M FUCKING _PISSED! _YOU OWE ME YOUR BODY IN MY FUCKING HANDS, YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN! YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME AND _I WANT IT BACK!" _

Lightning raced around the hallway, bouncing off walls, crackling and hissing in rage, voices chattering and spitting their endless mantra of hateful cries, roaring as Lexaeus reappeared, stepping out of the portal and staring at her in horror. She looked up at him with wide emerald eyes that were clouded over with fear and pain.

"Did he get you too, Lexaeus?" She asked. "I can call in your debt too, if you want. I don't want you to kill anyone. I'll do it, Lexaeus. Say the word." She stood up and leaned against him, bringing herself close and holding his head in her hands, pulling him down to face her in what would have been a lover's caress except for her trembling hands and wicked, crooked grin. "_Say it,_ Lexaeus._ Please._ Tell me to call in the debt, Lexaeus. _He owes me." _ Lexaeus could only watch her face, seeing the fear and pleading reflected in her eyes. He shook his head.

"No one is here, Larxene. No one but us. Whoever got you didn't get me. I promise." He murmured. She watched him for a minute, weighing his words before letting him go.

"Sorry." She murmured. "Didn't mean to..." Something in her eyes faded away as she looked up at him.

"Right, so the darkness lets us travel between worlds. Sounds pretty useful." She told him, shrugging her shoulders before starting down the steps to the kitchen, leaving Lexaeus staring at her retreating back and wondering what he'd just witnessed.

* * *

He followed her into the kitchen, keeping a careful eye on her as she observed the area, once again getting the cornered-animal look in her eyes. "Where's Marluxia?" She snapped. Lexaeus sighed with amusement.

"Probably pestering Vexen. Poor man doesn't know what he's in for." He muttered. Larxene tilted her head, curious.

"Vexen?" She asked. Lexaeus nodded.

"Right, yes. Vexen's my brother; adopted brother, so to speak. He and I, along with my brothers, were Apprentices under a king, Ansem the Wise." He told her. She nodded, accepting it. A thought suddenly occurred to her, and her eyes widened with horror.

"Marluxia doesn't love me anymore? He left me here?" She whispered. Lexaeus shook his head, furiously trying to backpedal.

"No, Larxene, that's not it. Marluxia still loves you, but he...well, he loves Vexen...although I'm not sure if that affection is returned quite just yet..." He muttered. Larxene put a hand over her mouth to hide a soft giggle. Lexaeus sighed with relief. "Larxene, it's not that Marluxia doesn't love you. Well, as much as Nobody can love, but that's a subject for another time. It's complicated. Anyways, the point remains, there's room in all of our lives to hold many people dear to us. I have five other brothers, and they all mean the world to me. But I can still hold other people in that same regard, even without a heart. It's just how people work. It's what kept us human, rather than letting us devolve into Dusks." He told her. Larxene nodded.

"Okay. Thanks, Lexaeus. I kinda needed to hear that, I guess." She murmured. Lexaeus smiled.

"It's all right, Larxene. You'll adjust eventually. You'll have plenty of time to do it, after all. This is your home now." He told her. She looked up at him.

"It is? Like, really is; you know, for real." She asked. Lexaeus nodded.

"If you want it to be." He offered. She grinned at him.

"Of course. Now, Lex, I believe something about strawberries was mentioned a few conversations back..." She teased. Lexaeus couldn't help but laugh, rummaging through the fridge as she tried to help him find the fruit, their connection ephemeral but sure, pulsing between them both as they shared each others' company.


	57. Flowering Lab

_(_There's not a lot of dialogue in this chapter, yet it is almost OBSCENELY fluffy. I guess it makes sense, cause TODAY IS MY TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY WITH MY BOYFRIEND :D I ruv roo Jack. :3 You're the best beyond the best~

Zexion is so the deadpan snarker by default. Vexen CAN be, but since he's usually too busy being "smarter-than-thou" or getting stalked by Marluxia...well, he just doesn't have the time. ^^; Also Nukey-tan...yeah I dunno either.

The zombie hamster was his though. His name was Snuggles, and it's kinda complicated, but it'll come up in the prequel.

Okay! Since so many people asked "is FtM getting a sequel," I'll reply quick; FtM is part of the Mooniverse as a whole. OGC goes into the prequel with the Apprentices AND with the Org, along with going into the sequel. OGC is basically where you find everything ELSE in the Mooniverse.

Also, regarding the Extended Universe; if it's not written by me, I'll put a link in anyway. One of my friends, (and a loyal reviewer :3) Kirai, is writing a fic using the explicitly MV characters, (i.e. Sunny Jim and Senayax), and for me, that counts as the Mooniverse, even if it's not explicitly canon. Plus, OGC itself will occasionally delve into EU and AU.

Yep. His signature roses. Which is funny, since technically the PETALS he always sheds like a freaking Persian cat in the middle of August would be sakura, because of the death symbolism in Japanese culture, but the ROSE itself is a signature for Vexen OH WHATEVER YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

BBS NOOZ TIME: Your daily BBS Needs, Spoilers, and Ramblings!

I got a friend to beat rumble racing for me fuck yesssss :D Connor, you rock, I sucked far too hard for any hope of winning. He's going to try to get me the prize Keyblade, too.

I still have to go do the Mirage Arena event. At least it's not the Wheel Master. That was one HELL of a fucking boss, BOTH times around. I'm getting better with Shotlocks though, thank god.

And the obligatory "Terra is a moron the end" quote goes here...

Oh, and what the hell was Queen Minnie doing in Disneytown? That just seems WRONG. She's fricking ROYALTY! Fricking Royalty does not go prancing around in "rejected from the main game" land!

Also Experiment 221/Sparky was always awesome and I can't wait to fight him. :D

As for that Aqua/OC fic, I'm in the brainstorming stages. If anyone would like to volunteer to be a soundboarding beta, please speak up! I need a bit of help. ^^;

Wow, long note. But that's it! Signing off~

DOKH.

Dedicated to Jack, cause he's been a great, wonderful, awesome boyfriend for two years, and all I didn't even know I wanted. Love you, muffin. (even though you don't read this. xD) Forever love :D

* * *

Zexion watched Vexen storm around the lab leaving small webs of frost across everything he touched with a cheshire grin, knowing exactly why Vexen was throwing a hissy fit. He tapped his pencil against his teeth, chewing on the end and focusing his thoughts on the paper in front of him. So far, in what was supposed to be a report on the effects of the Keyblade on the Heartless, there was a vast expanse of doodles ranging from adorable hamsters rising from the grave to an adorable little mushroom cloud, with an appropriately adorable nuclear holocaust just below it.

...Zexion's mind could get a bit odd at times.

"Ienzo, have you been listening to a word I've said? At ALL!" Vexen snarled, slamming his hands down on the desk and glaring at the small boy. Zexion shrugged, shuffling his notes and checking to see that his nuclear holocaust, (which he had begun to refer to as "Nukey-tan" in his head), was unharmed.

"Yes, yes, blah blah blah I'm sexually frustrated and a thirty-four year old virgin, blah blah blah I'm totally turned on by someone who has considered it a sacred mission since the moment he saw me to fuck my ass raw, and something about the mitosis, I wasn't paying attention to that last part." He laid his chin on his palms and gave Vexen an absolutely filthy, wicked grin. "Did I miss something, Even?"

Vexen chucked a dictionary at his head. Zexion just laughed, catching it in his hand and kissing his older brother's forehead. "I love you too. And I was listening. Kinda. Nukey-tan was calling to me, and she can kind of be a needy little thing, so I was more focused on finding her some territory to irradiate and ruin for the rest of eternity." He said. Vexen stared at him for a long, awkward moment.

"Ienzo, I'm honestly not sure what goes on inside your head sometimes." He muttered. "And coming from the unofficial castle psychiatrist, that's saying quite a bit."

Zexion shrugged. "It's not really important, anyways. It's about..." He checked a small clock on the wall and winced. "Um, two in the morning. We should go to bed...besides, I'm really tired. And I don't want you to stay down here by yourself, okay?" He said. Vexen sighed.

"I suppose, Ienzo. Be careful, all right? Don't keep pushing yourself. You ought to take a break for the next few days, all right?" He said, ruffling Zexion's hair. Zexion grinned, nodding in agreement.

"Okay. Promise, Even. You too though, okay?" He said, getting serious. Vexen groaned, knowing when he'd been backed into a corner.

"All right, all right." He muttered. His annoyance wasn't enough to prevent him from caressing Zexion's hair gently and kissing his forehead before shooing him upstairs and disappearing to his room, yawning widely and unzipping his coat, climbing half-naked into bed, blissfully ignorant of the trouble that would cause him come morning.

* * *

Marluxia crept downstairs, footsteps quiet as falling snow on the stone floor. He had an idea, and if he was interrupted in its' execution, he was screwed. Vexen slept down here, according to the others, and since this present was for him...well, he had to keep his silence.

He observed the inner workings of the lab with a mixture of amusement and calculation; the smaller details appeared to be neat and meticulous, such as the shelves that were alphabetically organized and cross-indexed with their files upon a large bookshelf, but overall, the actual execution of the day-to-day workings of the lab were much more spastic and disorganized, from the looks of it. There were notes and sketches scattered helter-skelter across the tables, cups of coffee were left in the oddest of places, (Marluxia was concerned as to how a cup of coffee had gotten lodged between a small seat cushion, the complete works of Marcel Proust, and a collection of haiku by Basho, but he figured it wasn't worth delving into the mystery at this hour), and pens, pencils, and spilled bottles of ink were left strewn slapdash across the floor.

Marluxia sighed, raking his hands through his hair. He had a bit of cleanup work to do before he got started on his sweetheart's present. He began to set up the bottles of ink on the table, throwing busted pens and broken pencils in the trash while he collected coffee cups from their anachronistic homes, arranging them neatly across the table by how much creamer had congealed on the top.

Once he looked at the notes, he realized he could distinguish the separate person's notes by their handwriting alone. Xemnas had a broad, elegant scrawl, contrasting Xigbar's, which was nigh-on unreadable for all of its' loops and harsh slashes, while Xaldin's handwriting was small and flowed along the paper like a small breeze scattering autumn leaves. Lexaeus had a very neat, almost meticulous handwriting style that was bold and harsh on the paper...and Zexion had a very absentminded sort of scribble, that, while it was neat enough to read and comprehend, was also dotted with doodles in the margins. (Well, he _was_ only seventeen...)

Marluxia took the large sheaf of notes Vexen had amassed and observed it carefully, shivering with pleasure at the mere sight of his lover's handwriting. It was graceful, loose, and free across the paper, with occasional harsh, jagged strokes when he made sudden alterations, probably in a fit of serendipity. Marluxia snatched up a calligraphy pen and dipped it in the sky-blue ink bottle lying beside a book on the anatomy of the Great Old Ones. (Zexion liked imagining what Cthulu would actually look like as a biological being rather than a construct of the horrific screaming abyss beyond human comprehension.)

Writing in his own gently looping cursive, he signed, "_For you, my delicate beauty. I hope only that these gifts will be enough to bring a burst of color and romance into your life. Take care of them and they'll remain for as long as I stay within this castle...and hopefully, within your thoughts." _

Marluxia purred with satisfaction, pleased at his note. He had a small, token interest in romance novels, and the occasional browsing of the genre had given him an idea of what to give to his ice queen. He set the note down and observed the lab, taking in each crack in the stone walls, the hidden little nooks and crannies, the placement of shelves and desks, and the table and chair legs. He knelt on the cool stones of the floor, searching for the perfect spot where he could begin his work.

He had been practicing his newfound talents for quite some time, even before arriving in the World That Never Was; the trees in the park had all been his work, along with the brilliant daffodils and wildflowers scattered across whatever little patches of dirt he could find in the city. He knew there were more, far deadlier uses for his talent, but right now, the last thing on his mind was murder. The one thing he wanted to give to his beauty was something that would hopefully be able to complement his own doll's perfection.

He closed his eyes and let a seed burst into bloom. It was a tiny seed, no bigger than the head of a pin, but it began to dance with angels as it snaked around the room, branching off into many more vines, which crawled up the walls and into every crack, nook, and cranny of the lab, reaching across tables and desks and shelves and books, twirling their way up chair legs, table legs, lamps, test tubes and coffee cups, spilling across notes and files and sketches, wriggling their way into the grooves in the stone and settling across the doorways and snaking around the stair railings, doorknobs, and in and out of keyholes.

Once he was satisfied with the vines, he walked among them barefoot, so as to hear their insistent chatter up through the stone and letting it resonate within his entire body. He did not control the plants, but rather brushed his fingers against them and gave them a name, a color, a thought or idea, letting them flower and bloom in their own image, by their own designs.

He let the flowers brush against his shoulders and the vines caress his face, desperate to touch their lord, whispering their desires and secrets into his ears as he answered their questions, kept hold of their secrets, and fulfilled their desire to exist, to become light and color and soft, silky petals cradling hidden innards, vulnerable and sheltered as the leaves stood firm and proud as shields to the tender vines.

Marluxia watched as daffodils waved gaily in the air, their bold buttery petals rising out into a trumpet-shaped cup; lilacs bloomed beside them, the pale purple flanking the bright yellow, soothing the harsh color with their soft, reassuring scent. Cherry blossoms bobbed and swayed with the weight of their own flowers, occasional petals falling across bright chrysanthemums, lilies beside them with their soft, feathery petals reaching out to caress the orchids, which stood firm and tall, clothed in white and so much like his proud, fragile Vexen that Marluxia knelt down to graze his lips against their brilliant, blazingly white petals.

Bright, flaming orange-red-yellow tulips shared their space with muted, gentle blue-purple-indigo tulips, all of the clashing colors surrounding the soft pink tulips, which in turn shielded the pale cream-colored tulips from the harsh cacophony of their bold, brash brothers and sisters. Silvery-white moonflowers entwined themselves with morning glories, proud and trumpeting their colors, shaded in every spectrum of the rainbow, blending together in the harmony of their shared palettes.

Beautiful, burning magenta amaranth flowers rose up in bright bursts, standing over all the smaller daisies and shielding their tender petals with their shimmering bursts of rich pink. The smaller daisies shared their space with minute bursts of wildflowers, growing up in between the daisies and sharing vines and melding their petals into the daisies' own.

Marluxia saw this rich collection of flowers and nodded, pleased with his work. He had one last thing to attend to, however, and he set out to finish his task, determination swelling in that beautiful, blooming feeling within his chest that filled him with such heat and bliss.

He searched the table for Vexen's chair, looking for the thin, spindly legs of the seat, carved into feathery designs that belied the strength of the blackwood chair, its' own thin frame hiding inner power and balance. He tapped the ridges in the chair and reached up to the empty space on the table in front of it. He traced his fingers across the grooves in the table one last time before bowing down and giving the exact place where he wanted his creation to bloom a gentle kiss, allowing himself to fantasize it was Vexen's soft, yielding lips and submissive, pliant body responding to his caress rather than the sturdy oak of the table beneath him.

He pulled back just in time to watch the rose bloom. Its' stem was the same brilliant shade of emerald as his eyes, almost seeming to glow with the same arrogance and intelligence, capturing the essence of his lover. Its' petals started off with a small ridge of pale pink around the base of the flower before becoming a pale yellow, darkening around the tips, melding into the paler golden shades with ease as it blossomed, growing tall and strong above even the more elaborate and fanciful flowers. Marluxia moaned softly with anticipation and pleasure, running a gentle hand down the brilliant petals before looking back at the door to Vexen's room.

With a small smile across his lips, he sent a small vine down between the crack in the door, giving it the notion to bloom into a chorus of lilacs before disappearing into the darkness, already anticipating Vexen's reaction with absolute delight as he reappeared in his room, shedding his clothes and falling into bed, dreaming only of clashing colors and the emerald shades of his lover's eyes.


	58. Deflowering the Scientist

(Zexion and Lexaeus are so freaking unhelpful. Like, way to sympathize. ^^; Although I suppose they knew Vexen would bitch and just took the inevitable freakout in stride. He's probably done worse. ^^;

Marluxia would damn well pounce on him while he was getting dressed. Hell, even when they start DATING, Vexen makes sure they either don't have anything to do for a few hours or that Marluxia is deeply asleep, because otherwise, Marluxia and his psychotic libido would see naked Vexen and override any foolish protests like "work" or "life" or "the lab is burning and we have to get out," because well he can conjure up an ice shield anyway. xD

Although yeah, Toy Story on the brain much?

And bless you, Vexen, you tried your best to stop him from being himself. Too bad you're just so gorgeous and he wants you that much. /Is highly unsympathetic. xD/

I'm as bad as Lex and Zex, obviously xD

BBS NOOZ: Your Daily Report on Spoilers, Mirage Arenas, Obnoxious Bosses, and Stuff!

FUCKING IRON IMPRISONER. FUCKING FUCK FUCK. The first one wasn't too bad, but the SECOND! Fucking christ, I think since I can beat that, I'll do fine with the final fucking boss! Fucking Xehanort report why do I need you that fucking badly.

I had an easier time with the Mimic Master, though not by much. Both were just very longwinded battles of spamming Curaga repeatedly. Of COURSE, however, my PSP, without ANY WARNING, decides to shut off after I beat the Mimic Master. Hopefully I'll still have won in the save file and gotten Darkgnaw, which was the ONLY reason I went.

Experiment 221 was disgustingly easy. Annoying, but easy. Although the "FWENDS" thing with Stitch was like "uh wtf." Although at least Terra was slightly less retarded in this installment. I can't wait until the end. Then he gets REALLY stupid. :D

I miss Queen Minnie. Even if she is in rejected-from-the-main-game land, she's too awesome to linger there. I need to write an OGC oneshot with her finding out about Mickey and rather than going "oh the kids can do it" going "BITCH PLEASE SUIT UP AND SADDLE OUT I AM GETTING MY HUSBAND." I like her. o3o

I miss you Vexen. :( Please hurry up and show up even for five seconds because I am dying for want of you.

Also, as for the OC; I have a profile and a picture, but still no name. Snow, you read my effing mind; she was supposed to be fire-based (out of the available non-trio take of thunder and fire, fire fit better obvs), but she doesn't look much like Aqua, except for being tall and well-endowed. ^^;

Kirai is helping though, so I ruv roo. :D

Now, don't own, duh. And I hope you like this chapter; it's one of my personal favorites. :3

Dedicated toooo all of my friends! :D)

* * *

Vexen awoke the next morning, and upon seeing the lilacs cheerfully spread across his door, he realized that he was in for hell once he stepped outside. He debated waiting for someone else to come down, hopefully then removing the flowers in their way, but as he checked the clock, it seemed to be around noon, and no one seemed to be coming...where were they?

"Lexaeus? Zexion? Are you up?" He asked, calling out beyond the door and realizing that as he spoke, the lilacs seemed to tremble and bloom at the sound of his voice. He winced. "Xigbar? Xaldin? Xeh?" No response. He groaned.

"...Marluxia?" He called out, praying to all the gods that may have ever theoretically existed in the ancient crevasses of space and time and the human consciousness that he did not respond. Thankfully, he did not, but that also meant he would have to get up and see what had happened to his precious lab.

He crept out of bed, irrationally afraid that if he made enough noise, Marluxia would hear him dressing and pounce. The saner parts of his mind protested his paranoia, but the parts of his mind that understood that there was nothing sane about Marluxia shouted them down. He shrugged off his shirt, dressing in a loose black tee shirt flecked with spots of ink and bleached white scattered across the front. He glanced warily around the room before undoing his pants and immediately thereafter yanking a pair of jeans on, (hand-me-downs from Lexaeus after he'd burned off half of the waistline with acid, thereby making them far better fit his thin hips. He claimed it was an accident, but considering he'd just tossed away a pair of jeans for being too big, the others doubted it.)

With quiet, delicate steps on the stone floor, he pulled on pale blue fluffy socks, (Vexen didn't really give a damn whether his socks were 'manly' so long as they were just bloody _warm), _and slipped past the lilacs on his door, stepping outside and looking at what his lab had become.

The first thing he saw was the rose, which stood proud and tall upon the table, its' vines spilling off over onto his chair. The next thing he noticed was the note. He walked as if he was in a dream, moving across the room to pick it up and read it as the world seemed to spin off its' axis around him.

"_For you, my delicate beauty. I hope only that these gifts will be enough to bring a burst of color and romance into your life. Take care of them and they'll remain for as long as I stay within this castle...and hopefully, within your thoughts." _

That bastard had come down here in the middle of the night-while he was _sleeping, _no less!-and planted all these wretched, useless flowers! Daffodils across the floor, lilacs spilling over his notes, daisies filling test tubes, amaranths and lilies and orchids and cherry blossoms all over _his lab-_and that rose, that wretched _rose!_

And that_ note. _He reread it with horror, mouthing the words aloud, the fact that Marluxia was dead serious about this chase, and wouldn't leave him be after already humiliating him once sinking in, the fact that he'd been _in his lab _and knew where he slept making his stomach roil and seethe within him.

He was certain of only one thing. Marluxia was going to die.

He turned back to the rose and glared at it, watching with satisfaction as ice began to creep up its' stem, sheathing its' leaves and glossing over its' petals. He hummed with delight, going to pull it off the table before realizing, with ever-growing horror, that if anything, the rose had gotten brighter. Instead of a pale gold, it now shimmered with the lustrous shine of the sun across newly-fallen snow, its' emerald stem glimmering like real emeralds snatched from a dragon's hoard, and the light base of pale pink now deeper, darker...the exact shade as Marluxia's hair.

Vexen swore profusely, spitting out curses he hadn't even known he'd known about, slamming his hands against the table and screaming, _"MARLUXIA!"_ at the top of his lungs.

Unfortunately, Zexion and Lexaeus came running down first, therefore becoming witnesses to his humiliation. Vexen watched as they looked around the lab, their eyes wide with amazement and awe. Zexion sneezed, wrinkling his nose at the pollen, but even he had eyes lit up with glee, kneeling down to examine the daisies while Lexaeus tenderly examined the sunflower petals. Vexen snarled, glaring at the both of them.

"Could you _please _try to sympathize with me here!" He roared. "That awful rotten blasted _neophyte _stormed down here in the middle of the goddamned night and _RUINED MY LABWORK!" _He screamed, the realization that all of his experiments were ruined hurting him far more than what Marluxia had actually done.

Lexaeus shook his head, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he hummed, deep in thought. "Mm-mm, Vexen. He was very careful not to invade your work; see? Your notes are all clean, and actually very well-organized. Ours are as well." He grinned. "That was actually very polite of him; tell him I appreciate it, will you?" He murmured. Vexen hissed.

"You can tell him yourself! Or better yet, you can talk to his _corpse, _because when I am done with him, he'll be-" Vexen was cut off by Zexion examining one of the cherry blossoms, holding it out to Lexaeus.

"Hey, do you think we could transfer these out to that little garden you had going? I'm sure if you take a few samples, you could cultivate your own from these; I'm sure Marluxia wouldn't mind sharing some things from his greenhouse." Zexion told him. Lexaeus nodded.

"Sounds like a good idea. Thank you, Ienzo, I wouldn't have thought of it myself." He replied. Zexion smiled, pleased.

_"MY LAB IS NOT HIS GREENHOUSE_!" Vexen roared, trying desperately to tear some of the flowers off the walls, screaming in frustration as he realized they wouldn't give way. Zexion looked at Lexaeus and shrugged.

"He's right, you know. Not enough sunlight down here. Although I think it would be interesting to see how long they could survive otherwise..." Zexion trailed off, catching sight of the note. "Oooh, what's this?" He trilled, far too wickedly excited for Vexen's liking. The elder scientist lunged at him, trying to grab the note before he did, but Zexion had the advantage of closer proximity and snatched it up, unfolding it and reading it aloud gleefully.

"_For you, my delicate beauty. I hope only that these gifts will be enough to bring a burst of color and romance into your life. Take care of them and they'll remain for as long as I stay within this castle...and hopefully, within your thoughts." _Zexion cooed, giggling maniacally as he clasped his hands against his chest.

"Aww, look! I think I just started vomiting rainbows!" He trilled, causing Lexaeus to fail in holding back giggles and outright laugh, the two of them sagging against the wall and laughing hysterically. Vexen settled for screaming in agony and throwing one of his journals against the wall, his rage further rising as one of the vines caught it and cradled it in its' embrace with gentle care.

_Not just Marluxia. The whole world must die. _Vexen thought, turning around and getting ready to storm up the steps and find Marluxia, already settling on stabbing him with an icicle as the best murder method.

Marluxia, of course, had already come down to find _him. _

He smiled, observing the room and sighing with pleasure. "I'm glad you liked the garden." He said. This only prompted Lexaeus and Zexion to laugh even harder, almost to the point of screaming.

Vexen gave them an absolutely withering glare. All the fight and rage went out of him, and he looked at Marluxia, shaking his head.

"Why." He asked.

That one word reeked of desperation and pain, so much so that Lexaeus and Zexion shared a quick glance before disappearing, leaving the two of them alone. Vexen stared at him, eyes wide.

"Why are you doing this to me?" He asked again. Marluxia sighed, leaning in and kissing his forehead before Vexen could stop him or push him away. He gave him a small smile.

"Because you deserve this." He murmured. "You haven't noticed how much I want you, Vexen? Xigbar praised your intelligence. I assume it was in academic matters rather than romantic." He purred with satisfaction. "That's good, though. No one will ever touch my doll but me."

Vexen shook his head, his senses returning to him as he glared at Marluxia. "Don't you dare call me that! I will not be your toy, Number XI!" He snarled. Marluxia gave him a teasing pout, one Vexen kicked himself for enjoying.

"But you are my doll, sweetheart." He murmured. "My beautiful, fragile little porcelain doll...one I promise I'll never throw away, not ever." He whispered. Vexen shook his head, giving him a disgusted glance.

"Toys always get thrown away." He spat. "And you ruined my labwork, you bastard."

If Marluxia was hurt at his comment, he didn't show it; rather, with a small smirk of triumph, he caressed the newborn ice-rose.

"Really." He purred. "Then why did you save this just for me?"

Vexen snarled, shoving him away from the table and towards the door, waiting until he thought Marluxia wasn't there anymore before bursting into tears.

Marluxia, of course, was only standing just outside the door, and a frown had creased his features. His little doll was crying...he just wanted Vexen to be happy. He sighed, waiting for the sound of his bedroom door slamming shut before heading back into the lab and picking up the rose. A small smile replaced his frown as he looked around the room.

"You forgot one thing, Vexen." He murmured. "These haven't died yet. So...so I must be in your thoughts." He sighed, cradling the rose to his chest. It was only a bit of hope, but it was there; it was enough.

With a small smile, he left the room, ready to go outside and start his new garden.

* * *

He had walked around the castle for about an hour, staking out the best place to begin the garden itself, but so far, no opportunity had presented itself. He groaned, running his hands through his hair. This was a big world; he could probably find a place closer to the skyscrapers, but he really didn't want to. He missed nature already; he would've cheerfully killed for a nice plot of fresh-tilled soil. The small patch of earth was for Lexaeus; he'd already given the man some of his seeds to cultivate, and as much as he respected the other earth-user and considered him a fine match for Larxene, he did not share very well, be it lovers or gardens.

It was another hour of walking around the grounds until he returned to where he'd started; a small little cove behind the Hall of Empty Melodies and down a small pathway, branching out beyond it into a vast expanse of earth, spread out into the darkness. Marluxia raised an eyebrow, surprised at his good fortune. He took his shoes off and walked across the loam, letting the cool soil sink into his skin as he knelt down and picked up the small piece of paper that had been left on the ground.

"Now_ will you leave my lab alone?" _Marluxia burst out laughing, Vexen's irritated tone sinking through the note and into his thoughts, his doll's voice filling his mind as he sighed with delight and wrote a reply.

Vexen realized that something had appeared from a portal above his head and fallen onto his lap just as he finished the task of pulling out another one of Marluxia's flowers in vain. He opened the note and smoothed it out, reading its' contents. There was only one word on the page.

"_Never." _The flowery script read, mocking him with its' cheerfully evil tone.

Vexen screamed loud enough for Marluxia to hear him all the way out in the garden. His only response was to laugh quietly and kneel down to begin cultivating his ice roses.


	59. Reaction

(Larxene only panicked because she was frightened about losing Marluxia; I always wince, going "oh that's kinda OOC" but honestly, if she was just a one-note sadist character, then I'd be no better than the fanfic writers I decry who do the same. Building up on her canon persona is acceptable, especially in her case; she has like NO backstory. :(

I didn't know how fun Vexen and Saix were to bounce off of each other until I wrote this. Now I know. And the more you know. :D (YO JOE~)

Seriously, they just remind me of like, not even siblings, but like, you know how you have one friend who you really like their big sibling just as much but are intimidated by them slightly at the same time, too? Like that. Saix is just fun to work with period. I don't like the "stick up his ass" persona most fics give him lately; sure he's devoted, but it's only really to XEMNAS. The Organization=/=Xemnas, in his eyes, and his loyalty goes right to his master first, 'cause Xemnas is the one giving him his heart back and all. ^^; (Also cause they're in LUUUURVE but whatever xD)

Those haiku are mine, and I wince a bit at their quality; I had to make them pointed references to the garden incident, which is harder than it sounds. I love haiku though, and normally write them much better; as I mentioned, I did one for each of the Org. (Usually about them by themselves, but I looked at Vexen's and it is literally a blatant pleading dirge for him to live again.)

...Their deaths hit me kinda hard. (For all of them, but Vexen's was beyond gruesome and into outright horrifying.) They still do. You should see me around the Axel fangirls in my school. I never get violent, but I raise my voice if I need to...stupid shallow people.

MOVING ON; no one commented on the pun and this makes me sad. I've been making it for so long ^^; Ice Queen usually means someone really closed off, but "queen" can also refer to (usually an older) gay man. ^^; I suppose Vexen fits both definitions, and it makes me laugh, but I suppose not everyone knows the term queen in and of itself...

BBS NOOZ: Spoilers, Scandalousness, and overall OMFG HE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT! With Added Squee!

OMFG BABY SORA AND ICKLE RIKU I WANT TO CUDDLE THEM UNTIL THEY ARE FLUFFY AND OMFG JESUS CHRIST THEY ARE SO CUTE AND TINY AND SMALL AND SO ADORABLE AND SMALL AND LOOK AT THEM LOOK AT THEM THEY ARE _TINY _

_ABSOLUTELY TINY_

SO CUTE FFFFFF SO SMALL AND CUDDLY AND UNF I SAY. I could just fucking hug them for HOURS. HNNNNG indeed. Like, just, just, SO SMALL AND CUTE AND THEIR VOICES AND THEIR EYES AND HAIR AND CUTE LITTLE CHUBBY FEET AND ROUND ICKLE CHEEKS AND AWWW god seriously someone send help

Seriously, BBS is making me a shotacon. I DO NOT WANT TO BE A COUGAR I'M ONLY SIXTEEN GOD DAMMIT.

Seriously though, Sora and Riku and FUCKING IENZO JESUS CHRIST

It is a MIRACLE any of the Apprentices ever got work done. The second he walked in? "Eh, fuck curing cancer, HE'S SO WUBBLY! :D"

Ienzo is SO CUTE AND SO SMALL AND HE'S LIKE A KITTEN I TELL YOU

A _KITTEN _

Seriously, lol, I just think of his voice actor and mentally list it as "Small Kitten." So it's like, "CHRISTOPHER FUCKING LEE, Mark Hamill, Quinton Flynn, Leonard Nimoy, other people who aren't Christopher Lee, blah blah blah, Small Adorable Kitten (SAK :3) rounding out the list of voice actors." HE'S SO ADORABLE IT HURTS.

And he and Ventus are on screen together. The squee I make might actually shatter my window and terrify my cat. ^^; Like, that's just...HNNNNG material right there.

...Back to serious BBS nooz, I finished Neverland. Man do I hate that place. The water levels are OBNOXIOUS. You can't jump or even really MOVE, and it's really awkward and frustrating. /groan/ I'll do all my grinding in the Coliseum thanks.

Also the guidebook is an asshole. "Just wait for Peter Pan to come to you :D"

HE STABBED ME WITH A BUTTERFLY KNIFE. NOT COOL. Seriously, he didn't even try to take to the air! He just STOOD there! So I almost died five seconds in because he trapped me in a combo, the fucker! Once I actually said "fuck it" and laid waste to him, he went down in two hits, though. Seriously, I think I'm grossly overlevelled. Level 45 is kinda overlevelled, eh? ^^; I still have to get to level 50 before I'm good to face the final boss, in my opinion. I'm picky like that.

Melding the shit out of commands. Like, all the superpowerful two-slot shit. I need to max out my Lucky Strike; I DEMAND RARE ITEM DROPS. And of course my elemental boosts and stuff. ^^;

Terra is gay.

Yeah, I said it. I don't even mean "with anyone," although I honestly think he might have a forbidden thing for Ventus. (He himself would probably repress it, cause Ven is so much younger-acting.) But just...

Okay, so SPOILERS IN THE NEXT PARAGRAPH. Just so you know.

When he meets young Riku, he sees him as Xemnas and KHII!Riku. And the look on his face is pure, unadulterated, "WHOA you grew up pretty nicely, kid." It made me lol pretty hard. Granted, most ANYONE would think that upon seeing Riku all grown up. Xeh too. :3

So I can shrug that off. Like I said, Riku just attracts all people, regardless of sexuality. (Sora is a lucky jerk.) And Xemnas has a voice that basically sacrifices panties to the darkness. (I bet that was intentional. KINGDOM HEARTS NEEDS PANTIES.)

But I realized something. He almost NEVER EVER EVER talks about Aqua. Only if it's conjunction with Ven or something. You'd think when he meets Cinderella or Snow White or whatever, "Hey, another pretty girl...not quite like Aqua," or something would come up. But no. Ven this and Ven that and the light in Ven's heart this and the light in Ven's heart that. Hell's fire, poor Aqua never gets mentioned! Except as "his friend." Or whatever crap he comes up with. But VEN? Oh Ventus let me sing your praises for hours and barf. Like, gosh, Terra. SUBTLE.

And of course, when he leaves Destiny Islands, he sees a small spark in the darkness. Not "hey, what's that?" but "OMFG I BET THAT'S VEN'S LIGHT." Good god in heaven. He's so gay it's slightly painful. ^^; I find it amusing, tbh, and I admit to shipping Braig/Terra in a pretty twisted way. Except then XigDem so AGH CONFLICT.

And another crack shipping I honestly can see working? Even/Aqua. Oh yeah. I don't even know why, but yeah, for me it fits. xD And because Squeenix likes its' threesomes, Lea/Isa/Ven. Or Ven/Ienzo. SHOTACON FOR EVERYONE HOORAY.

Now all that's left is to levelgrind and max out more commands. ONWARD.

Also, in the constant trickle of news regarding the OC; her name is Erelle. Rere for short. (Pronounced rei-rei. ^^;)

And that's it! Whoa, this was a long nooz report. I was playing a lot today though, so I suppose it makes sense.

Despite this chunk of nooz, I do not own KH. Woo yay?

Dedicated to my sewing machine; I am going as the inestimably beautiful High Summoner, the Lady Yuna, and I need to sew the costume. Here's to hoping it works~)

* * *

Larxene had lost Lexaeus awhile back to comforting Vexen downstairs. She was still confused as to what the big deal was, but she couldn't find anyone in the castle to explain it to her. With a small sigh, she opened the door and headed out into the courtyard, calling for Marluxia.

She continued doing so until she finally reached a small hidden pathway beyond the hall, and as she picked her way across the white-stone path, she heard him call back, "Come in, Larxene."

She did so without hesitation, pushing back the hanging vines of ivy he had already fashioned out into a doorway. With a high scream of relief, she ran right into his open arms, sobbing hysterically and wrapping her arms around his neck, burying her face into his chest as she held him close. He laughed, his breath warm and gentle on her as he stroked her hair.

"I missed you too." He teased. Larxene sniffled, giving him a wounded glare before tugging on a strand of his hair. He winced. "Ow, Lar. What did I do to get you so miffed?" He asked. Larxene shook her head.

"You left me." She muttered, not meeting his eyes as her shoulders hunched. "You left me for a _man._" She looked up at him and hugged him tight, sitting up on her knees now, bending over him in what he realized was an awkward gesture to show she was trying to protect him. She shivered, holding him closer.

"Marluxia, don't you get it...? Men just want to hurt you, and beat you, a-and sometimes they burn you or take their hands or their mouths or their fingers or-or, they take things that can hurt you and bite you and make you bleed and cut and slice, and if you go with a man he'll take your hands, he'll take your mouth and your eyes and your tongue and _Marluxia he'll kill you you can't die don't leave me no!" _Her screaming became incomprehensible at that point as she buried her face into his neck and sobbed to the point of screaming, little sparks darting up from her tears as he cradled her in his arms and let her cry, stroking her hair and trying not to think about what could have happened to her to leave such deep scars.

Once she'd calmed down, he kissed the top of her head and smiled. "Larxene, listen to me. I won't ever leave you. I'm your best friend, and I promise I won't abandon you. You're really all I have, you know." He reminded her. She nodded, giving him a watery smile as he sighed with relief and continued. "Vexen is a good man, Larxene. He's a stubborn, arrogant, socially maladjusted ice queen, but he is a good man. I trust him." He murmured. Larxene nodded.

"Lexaeus said he was a good man. He said he loved Vexen a lot, even though he said we can't love. I guess Lexaeus has to care about him that much, huh?" She asked. Marluxia nodded. She shifted in his arms. "Mmkay. I trust you." She murmured. "Can I meet him?" Marluxia had to laugh at her question, running a gentle hand through her hair and savoring the contact as she leaned into his touch without resistance.

"Larxene, you can meet him when I visit his lab while he's _not _trying to stab me through the chest with an icicle." He muttered. Larxene laughed, ruffling his hair.

"What did you do, Marly?" She asked, sitting back down on the grass as he stood up and stretched, shaking out the loose white tee-shirt and jeans he'd put on to garden. He groaned, trying not to smile as he picked up his shovel and began to turn over the soil for growing the morning glories.

"Well, when you're in love with someone, you normally give them flowers. However, considering my aptitude for creating bouquets beyond what any other man could attempt, I decided to go above and beyond the call, and...well..." He fidgeted, trying not to laugh before he'd finished. "The lab is basically the equivalent to the Babylon Gardens right about now." He told her. Larxene's eyes got wide, and she laughed with him as the two sat there, completely at peace and without worry for the first time in their Nobody existence.

He snorted with amusement, sowing the seeds and mixing fertilizer in with the dirt. "I'm leaving a few of the flowers in there, but I brought most of them out here. They were quite eager to be out of the dark and dreary lab, and I suppose I can't blame them; I would be relieved too. But I did leave a few down there, all of which keep watch over little windows I set up in the lab, thanks to Lexaeus' and Zexion's assistance." Marluxia smirked, his grin absolutely wicked and devilish as he pointed across the field.

"You see, Vexen was a bit short-sighted when he asked Lexaeus to create this little garden..." He showed her a small window level with the soil. "...And forgot that Xemnas had put in windows to let some light into the lab, lest they shrivel up if they ever came in contact with the sun." He said wryly, enjoying Larxene's howl of laughter. "So now my little doll gets to look out of the lab every morning from that freshly cleaned window and see my garden...and of course, whatever I choose to put in it." He purred.

Larxene looked up at him and smiled, laying down on the grass and sighing with amusement. "Marly, you're a horrible person." She teased. Marluxia laughed.

"Oh, I'm fully aware this is horrible. But...for him, I'd throw away every last bit of dignity and pride, and I'd sink to any depth to win his love." He murmured, and the seriousness of his tone gave Larxene pause. He shot her a wicked glance and smiled, allaying fears she hadn't even been aware she had felt.

"But I mustn't forget the love I've already been lucky enough to get, mm, Lar?" He asked. She nodded, giving him a small smile.

"Hey, sometimes the mayfly's just as good as the tortoise." She shot back. Marluxia raised an eyebrow.

"Awfully poetic, Larxene." He replied. She nodded, looking as confused as he did.

"Yeah, it was...but it's right, I guess. I don't know what made me say it...it just seemed like something I'd heard...like, on the edge of a dream...but...I don't dream." She sighed. "Whatever, it makes sense. Can I help with those strawberries, Mar?" She asked. He nodded, letting her work with him as the two tossed the thought aside and focused on the earth in front of them.

What neither of them knew, however, was that as Larxene had been asleep, Lexaeus had been sitting in the corner and reading aloud to her, waiting for her to wake up. While she may not have been willing to dream any more, she would be able to hear his voice, even in the deepest darkness.

* * *

Vexen sighed, storming off to the library and slamming the door open before sitting right in his chair with a book and burying his nose into it, ignoring the fact that he could still smell flowers on his skin, even though he was ten floors away from the wretched monstrosity his lab had become. With a snarl of disgust, he flipped the page, settling on a small collection of haiku. He sighed, beginning to read out loud to himself.

"Starlight in the quiet/a possibility/lurks in the garden." He murmured, skimming the verse, deep in thought. "Delicate gifts divine/roses in an icy wasteland/waiting for the sun." He narrowed his eyes. This was becoming rather disquieting. "Face your fear with smiles/let the right one in to come and stay/he is only joy."

Vexen chucked the book of haiku at the wall. With a snarl of frustration, he curled up in his massive ice-blue marshmallow couch, leaning his head against one of the armrests, closing his eyes, and refusing to think about Marluxia.

"Vexen?" A soft voice interrupted him, and Vexen looked up to see Saix standing in the doorway. Vexen crooked an eyebrow, beckoning him into the library. Saix nodded, bowing as he entered, seemingly jumpy and ready to bolt as he crept through the library and looked around nervously for a chair. Vexen sighed, trying not to show his amusement as he gestured for Saix to sit on the tabletop next to his chair. Saix sighed in relief and settled down on the surface, giving him a nervous smile.

"My master told me if I come in here with him enough, and of course, I shall, that there will be a chair here for me eventually. Unfortunately, due to the Superior and I going over some of his latest research and participating in missions, I have not had time to sit with him here..." He trailed off. "If I'm bothering you, that's all right, I can-" Vexen held up a hand. Saix fell silent immediately, watching him intently. Vexen groaned, shaking his head.

"You're not bothering me, Saix. In fact, I have a few questions to ask you. Perhaps you could stay, if you're not too busy yourself." He offered. Saix shook his head.

"No, I am not. Lea is out on a mission with Xigbar and Demyx, whereas my master is working on something pertaining to the Heartless...I couldn't be of much use to him, so I came in here to see if I could spend some time waiting for him." He replied. Vexen nodded, sitting up in his chair.

"Thank you, Saix..." He looked the berserker in the eyes. "There's no need to be afraid of me, you know." He said, as casually as if he was discussing the weather. "Despite what Braig says, I'm not a monster or a vampire, and I certainly don't feed on the souls of the damned." He teased. Saix's eyes got wide, and Vexen tried not to sigh. He was still very unused to sarcasm and teasing, it seemed. Apparently, Lea had not been enough of a negative influence on him...

"Saix, what I mean is, please don't tread with fear around me. If nothing else, I'm your master's brother, so what ill will would I harbor towards you? Besides, rank aside, you are second-in-command. Although, with no disrespect towards you, rank doesn't seem to matter much here." He muttered bitterly. Saix titled his head.

"Do you wish for it to?" He asked. Vexen groaned.

"If it would give me some sort of leeway to get Marluxia to leave me alone, _yes. _That man..." He trailed off, shaking his head in disgust. "I don't want anyone in this little mental outpatient clinic of ours to think they're lesser-than just because we were foolish enough to start this nonsense in the first place, but I would like a vantage point from which to cheerfully burn Marluxia, watching his flowers perish and turn to ashes and dust." He muttered. Saix tilted his head.

"Are you unwell?" He asked. "I do not know if asking you if you are sad or angry is appropriate, all things considered, but you seem very off-put. Did he harm you in any way?" His tone was curious, inquisitive; he sounded quite like a young child. Vexen shrugged.

"Not in the way you would get wounded in a battle, Saix. It is hard to explain without using emotional terms, so I am afraid I must. You know full well they're only vestigial emotions, if even that, so I don't believe I have to clarify." He said. Saix nodded and settled in on the table, intent on listening to his tale. Vexen gestured to Zexion's seat, which had decided to settle in across from him for the day. "Please, sit. You're going to be here for awhile." He said. Saix got up and settled into the soft navy chair was a grateful sigh, wide golden eyes taking in every word Vexen said as he started his lecture.

"There is a sensation within us all that comes alive whenever we come into contact with our...for want of a better word, our lovers. It's not an emotion so much as a reflex, but it can often bring a sort of emotional _reaction _with it. Thus, when we see them, we can usually feel closer to those reactions. While we may have friendships, such as yours with Lea, these go into a very deep mental state of being within us, one I admit I haven't entirely studied yet. For example, how Xigbar and Demyx act around each other is a result of that sensation." He said. Saix nodded, and Vexen could see gears working throughout his mind as he watched the elder Nobody intently.

"Well, at the risk of humiliating myself, Marluxia has come to our Organization and decided I am to become the object of his...emotional reactions, so to speak." Vexen shifted uncomfortably, twirling a strand of hair around his fingers. "A-and, well...he won't...well, he's very...forward. And he won't leave me alone...and he just..." Vexen shook his head, and Saix immediately reached up to brush his hair back behind his ears and hold his hand for a moment.

"If it is an uncomfortable subject, Vexen, I will wait until you are in a better state of mind. Please don't hurt yourself for my sake." He murmured. Vexen nodded.

"Mm. To wit, he is an obtrusive and obnoxious force in my life now, but as much as I hate to admit it, it's the closest thing I've had to a genuine reaction of frustration, anger, and annoyance in a very long time." He said. "Think of it like this, Saix; if as Nobodies, our world is shades of grey, then when these people come into our lives...they become color that soaks into the grey and brightens the light and dulls the shades of neverending grey, making it...an easier world to live in, as it were. We cannot be alone, being who we are. The only way for any of us to survive is to stay together and bring out shades of color, so to speak, into other lives of grey. That is why we are Organization XIII. Because we need all the color we can get." He drawled, a dry smile gracing his lips. Saix nodded, and was silent for a few minutes.

"Would my master be my color, then?" He asked. "Because all those reactions...they happen to me when I am around him. If I go berserk while I am with him, even then, I feel a small bit of peace within me among the anger and rage, and I know it is my master's peace within me, keeping me steady and sane. And when I am...pleased by something, or amused, or delighted...whenever I am with him, those things become so much more tangible." He murmured. Vexen tilted his head, unsure of how to tell Saix that he was completely smitten with Xemnas.

"Well," he said, carefully picking his words, "it is indeed possible, but I think it would require further study. Perhaps Xemnas should weigh in on the matter. Would you rather I talked with him?" He asked. Saix nodded.

"Yes, please. I don't know how to approach my master about this, I admit..." He actually smiled then, rubbing the back of his head and trying not to blush. "You can explain it better than I ever could, and it would certainly be rather awkward to ask him about this while I lie with him at night."

Vexen tried very, very hard not to laugh, and almost succeeded. Thankfully, he managed to choke it down into a quick cough, giving Saix a small grin to hide his amusement. "Then of course I will, Saix. If you want to continue to stay here, I could give you a book to read. I'm not interesting in doing anything else today, really, and it would be nice to have some company." He said. The berserker nodded, accepting the novel Vexen handed him and settling in with delight.


	60. Pretty Knives

(I'm so sorry, guys. I'm so tired and I'm on the brink of breaking down right now in tears and hurt and shame and I really don't feel like playing "LOOK AT ME MY LIFE SUCKS" because I am always, always innately terrified someone will hate me for it or call me an attention whore. I suppose I'll be okay, though. So no fear!

I updated today rather than crawled into bed right now just for you guys. You all make me so happy...thank you so very, very much.

Not much BBS nooz today. I have Meteor and am enjoying spamming it on Wild Bruisers. Neverland is slightly LESS obnoxious for me in some parts, and I get Abounding Crystal drops from the Mandrakes, so w/e. Things should get more interesting when I get to the F.B.

Also apparently according to Jane, that WASN'T Xeh. I assume it was Terranort then but whatever. Point remains. xD

A few quick questions; one, I finally got a dragoncave account, (KeeperofTheBigBridge, and if you get the reference, I swear to god you'll be my BFF) so if you could go look me up and click on my two little dying eggs, that would be marvelous. I just want them to live. I GET INORDINATELY ATTACHED TO PIXELS OKAY

Wow if that's not really obvious I don't know what would be anymore. But anyway. Please go look me up and let them live. :(

Secondly; does anyone have any good fic or video series recommendations? I'm going to have a four day weekend over the next Thursday to Monday, and I need things to do. I need things from people who I trust have good taste. ^^;

And honestly, I'm boring today, huh? Sorry. It helps I'm so f'ed up right now.

Larxene/Lexaeus chapters are always short. Piece by piece, mmkay? Piece by piece...I apologize for the length in advance.

And that's really it! All of you please have a wonderful day for me, wherever you are, because if I can just cheer up ONE PERSON today, it'd all be worth it. Love you all so much.

Don't own KH.

Dedicated to the hopes of finishing my costume. Things have gotten so busy and my parents are no help; part of the reason I'm breaking down but I digress. Please let this all work out. I'm so TIRED...)

* * *

After working with Marluxia in the garden for a few hours, Larxene had gone upstairs to her room to see what could be done about her spartan furnishings. She headed up the steps and opened the door, settling down on the bed and looking around her room. The walls were a silvery-white, matching the pale white rug. The shelves were made of marble and glimmered dully in the light of Kingdom Hearts. The bookshelves, the dresser, and anything else in the entire room she could lay eyes on was a pale silvery-white. She wrinkled her nose in distaste.

Relane had to keep a nice house clean. Relane needed to keep the walls light and the colors faded, everything soft and gentle and unassuming. Relane had to make it all _pretty. _Larxene smirked.

She didn't want to be pretty anymore. No more prettiness, no more softness and gentleness and unassuming doormat ways. This wasn't Relane's room; it was hers, and she was going to create it in her own image.

She sat up on the bed and looked down at Foudre. Blue and yellow. Nice colors. Good, bright colors. Blue and yellow walls...posters. Maybe some posters. Marluxia would give her flowers; she'd go get stuffed animals. This wasn't Relane's room or Relane's life. It was going to be a good room now. A safe room. One she wouldn't keep for any man. She grinned with delight and laid back down on the bed, cuddling one of her pillows close and contorting around it. With a soft sigh, she finally let herself relax and feel safe in a room of her own.

* * *

Lexaeus climbed the stairs, nervous and edgy as he realized he'd been downstairs with Vexen for a few hours now. If Larxene did have separation anxiety, it might mean that she was on edge and possibly feeling threatened. That wasn't a good thing, especially not if her temper was still on a hair trigger's release. He sighed, finally reaching her door and tapping gently on it. He didn't get a response, but he managed to soothe his nerves by assuming she was asleep.

He debated going inside for a minute before remembering she'd most likely be glad to see him; the small pulse in his body that throbbed in response made him feel much better about that. He opened the door gently, creeping in and seeing her on the bed, asleep and clutching a pillow. If he'd had a heart, it probably would've swooned; she just looked so absolutely adorable it was painful, and he couldn't resist reaching his hand out and stroking a few loose strands of hair away from her heart-shaped face. He felt so peaceful and pleasant that he almost felt his heart in his chest once more as he looked down at her sleeping form.

And then she woke up.

Larxene didn't see his eyes at first. If she'd met his eyes and realized it was her hero watching over her, she might not have panicked. But all she saw in that moment was muscle, a tall, brutal body, and massive hands, massive painful bleeding tearing hands that would bite her and kill her if she didn't fight back she had to fight back fight back _now Relane now_

Larxene threw herself up off the bed with an agonized roar, knives in her hands as she leapt at the stranger on the bed, not noticing his shock or hearing his soft whisper of "Larxene?" as she felt lightning crackling around her, goading her on as she lashed out, legs doing their best to slam into the man's ribs and hopefully call in at least an iota of her agonies or repay even a single second of her debt.

He stumbled, and she watched with satisfaction as he winced with pain. However, she hadn't been expecting him to fall, and within an instant, he had fallen on top of the bed and pinned her underneath him.

Lexaeus still wasn't entirely sure what was going on; he had seen her stir and awaken, and before he could even open his mouth, she had immediately gone on the offensive. Was she even aware she was screaming? She had been screaming since she'd woken up, he was absolutely certain of it.

He had tried to restrain her for a minute and try to figure out what was going on, but she had already lashed out and kicked him before he could even respond. He had been in fights with everything from Xaldin to crocodiles to bears, but a single well-aimed kick from Larxene had knocked all the air out of him and left him gasping for breath as he collapsed on the bed.

It took him a minute to realize he had Larxene pinned under him. He could feel her underneath him, so delicate and fragile, and all he could think about was how she was still screaming and who must have hurt her in such a way that she would be screaming in such agony. Even without a heart, hatred and rage flared up in him like a vicious, poisonous dragon, its' tepid and vile smoke clouding his senses until he could only imagine the wonderful sound of snapping bones, his hands fastened around the necks of those who had hurt _his Larxene. _

Lost in his rage, he didn't realize that there was a sharp pain in his chest and a wet warmth spreading across his coat. He had to calm down and regain enough strength to lift his shoulders up before he realized that Larxene had sunk a knife into his chest.

He didn't panic; he had faced knife wounds before, and this particular blow didn't look to be cut too deep. He knew his first objective was calming her down enough that she wouldn't try to attack him again, after which he would focus on pulling the knife out of his chest and probing the depth of the cut. He inhaled, realizing he could now breathe with ease and that his ribs had stopped feeling so constricting.

"Larxene." He murmured. "Larxene, are you all right? Hush, Larxene, you have to hush now. I need to know you're all right." He winced with pain, trying not to show that the knife wound was giving him more grief than he'd initially expected it would as he tried to push himself off of her. He didn't get a response except for her fast, shallow breathing for a few minutes, and he slowly realized he was beginning to panic. "Larxene?" He called.

The voice that greeted him had none of her normal cheerful irreverence or sarcastic amusement in its' tone. All he heard was the soft, hoarse sob of a cornered animal.

"Please don't hurt me." She murmured. "This is my room. This is _my_ room. No one can hurt me in here. I'm safe." She repeated, shaking so hard that Lexaeus could feel her trembling against his own skin. Lexaeus shuddered, fighting down the bile rising in his throat.

"No, Larxene. No one's going to hurt you. It's me." He whispered. "I won't ever let anyone hurt you."

Her eyes got wide, and instead of trembling, now her skin was tense and taut against his. She shivered. "Lexaeus?" She called out, voice high and panicky. "Lexaeus?" He nodded, sighing with relief.

"Yes, Larxene. It's me. Hold still, all right? I need to get up." He said, standing and biting back a groan of pain as the knife seemed to throb balefully in his chest. Larxene watched as he stood up, curled in the corner of her bed and clutching the pillow for all she was worth. She swallowed, reaching out to touch the handle of the knife.

"You're hurt?" She murmured. It was barely a question, but Lexaeus answered anyway. Larxene shuddered. "Did I do that?" She asked. It might have been a question, but even then, they both knew the answer; still, Lexaeus nodded. Larxene visibly shivered as she hugged the pillow tighter.

"Didn't mean to." She said. "You...you weren't one of them. You didn't take anything from me. You don't owe me anything." She whispered. Lexaeus shook his head.

"No, Larxene." He whispered. "No, I do not. I understand, Larxene. You were frightened-" He was cut off as she snarled.

"NO!" She screamed. "NO! I WAS NOT FRIGHTENED! THIS IS MY ROOM! I'M NOT SCARED IN MY ROOM!" She spat. "_Relane _was frightened. _Relane _was a weak, useless little baby who let people hurt her. I'm not Relane." She snapped. Lexaeus nodded.

"All right." He replied. "You don't have to be. I like you as Larxene." He confessed.

The look in her eyes was so awestruck and timid that it both amazed him and made him feel just the faintest pangs of grief for the fright that had been beaten into her. She reached out and pulled the knife gently from his chest, holding her own hands over the cut to stop the bloodflow.

"You like me as Larxene?" She whispered. "You don't _want _Relane, do you?" Lexaeus nodded. He knew that he while he might want Larxene, at the same time, the way she would assume he "wanted" her would only terrify her beyond the aid of anything with which he could pacify her fright. She squeezed her hands tighter over the cut and nodded back at him.

"I like you as Lexaeus too." She replied. "You don't use your hands to hurt."

Without even realizing it, he'd lifted his hands up so they were gently embracing hers; she flinched for a second, but once she realized that rather than crushing her, they were shielding her hands upon the wound, she calmed down and nodded. "See? You don't hurt. You don't want to hurt."

"I could never hurt you." He said, voice rough and raw with honesty. She jumped, unsure of what to say. Finally, unable to speak, she settled for nodding. Lexaeus sighed with relief.

"Sorry I hurt you." She murmured. "I'll make it better." Lexaeus nodded.

"That's fair enough, Larxene." He replied, gently stroking her hands and giving her a smile. "I can make you feel better too, then?" He offered, hoping with all his might that she would agree.

She startled him by giving him a quick, easy smirk. "Well..." She laughed. "Do you like painting?"


	61. Reflex

(Lol didn't this suddenly get dark. xDx

Although Vexen, like you would really do it. Tsk tsk tsk. ;p

I just want to say thank you for yesterday, all of you. I'm really glad to know I have people I can count on...love you guys. /hug/

Once again, Zexion is so unsympathetic. Also I totally want a tape recording of that. For SCIENCE of course.

Marluxia needs to be Frank N. Furter in the Halloween special. Vexen is prancing around as Rocky, and let me just say that is most certainly not because I am enamored with the idea of Vexen in golden underwear. That is a silly, silly idea, and you are silly people for thinking such a silly thought.

APPRENTICE FRUFF AHOY. Ienzo basically slept with Aeleus, Even, or both, mostly because he was a midget and his bed was so big he could get lost in it. That is indeed as adorable as it sounds. FFF.

Also, read this terrible silly fic that made me want to claw my eyes out. What else is new. xDx

ALSO: THEY HAVE ORGANIZATION TEESHIRTS ON SHARKROBOT AND I WANT ONE. Hellloooo christmas wishlist :D

Anyone who guesses which member's shirt I want gets a cookie and a Captain Obvious achievement unlocked. xD

BBS NOOZ: Once again short, cause I came home and slept until like five in the afternoon. All I can really say is that I need to hurry up and get to level 50 so I can go fight the F.B. and be DONE with Terra's story so I can go play as Ventus and see Even.

I think that's it!~ I might not update tomorrow, fwiw; I have a Halloween party, and I still have to sew my costume. I'll try, though!

Also, a Halloween special is coming up. I have most, if not all of the costumes, but yeah. It's a sekrit. :O

Don't own. o3o

Dedicated to ancient pagan practices for making Halloween COMPLETELY AWESOME. Oh, and Mexico. Day of the Dead is so cool.)

* * *

Marluxia yawned, clambering into his bed and laying down, sighing with satisfaction. The garden had started to flourish almost immediately, and he was delighted with the amount of effort he finally had put into a project; giving the garden his entire focus was enough to push Vexen out of his thoughts almost entirely, and seeing something he'd created going so well made him pleased.

With a loud moan of pleasure, he snuggled into the blankets. They were absolutely, desperately, ridiculously soft, and he was incredibly tired. With another snuffle of satisfaction, Marluxia closed his eyes and fell asleep almost immediately.

* * *

Vexen had stayed in the library for the rest of the day; once he had heard Xemnas traipsing through the halls, he had shooed Saix off to be with his master, leaving him in solitude for the rest of the afternoon. It was only after a light, quick dinner with everyone else that he figured he would enjoy some company. He debated going into the lab versus going to join Xemnas in his study and go over his Heartless notes with him, letting them both pretend they were still Apprentices in Hollow Bastion. He sighed. No, Xemnas had Saix, who had missed him desperately. The lab was familiar, but that wasn't always a bad thing, anyway. He nodded, the matter decided as he headed upstairs to check if Zexion had taken one of the encyclopedias up to bed with him.

Marluxia had not decorated the door to his room on purpose; the flowers grew on their own, his standard-bearers announcing his presence the throne of their emperor and god. Vexen snarled, frost forming over their petals as his own attribute responded to his anger. He tried to resist the urge to go in as he stared at the cherrywood door, his curiosity becoming almost unbearable as he tried frantically to make excuses in his own mind to leave without even going to check for the books. The hell with the books! He was _up here. He was in there. _Who _knew _what Marluxia would do to him!

His body decided for him; Vexen felt his hand reaching for the knob and opening the door almost as if of its' own accord. He cursed himself for it, and continued cursing himself as he walked through the doorway and was confronted with the sleeping body of Marluxia.

Even as he realized he was making the conscious effort to move now, he found himself walking towards Marluxia's sleeping form and looking down at the other man. He looked painfully young as he slept; rather than twenty-seven, he could've been seventeen.

Vexen knew he was beautiful. Even while refusing his attraction, Vexen was fully aware Marluxia was a beautiful man. His eyes were piercing and shone with intelligence and cunning; his hair was silky and fell about his face in a perfect compliment to his creamy skin and proud, regal features. Vexen could see the outline of lean muscle underneath the blankets, and as a blush rose to his cheeks, he had to realize that the front of his pants was rather strained, so to speak...

He shivered. Elegance, pure and simple. But it wasn't just elegance; it was predatory flair. Marluxia was hunting him. He had no subtlety about it, either, and was going after him right in the open. Worse yet, none of his brothers had even raised an eyebrow! Did they think he deserved to be treated with such indignity-to be, to be hunted and caught and possessed and, and _mated with, _like an animal?

The thought that suddenly occurred to him was so sudden and brutal that it almost physically knocked him off his feet. An icicle appeared in his hand, already sharpened to a killing point.

He could end it all right now. He could get rid of Marluxia. His brothers would understand. They had to. They wouldn't turn against him for this arrogant neophyte...they would be glad he had saved himself from the indignity of being hunted and possessed...

He stood there for a few minutes, not realizing time had passed until he realized that the icicle was still in his hands and he hadn't killed Marluxia yet. The other indicator that something had changed was the fact that frozen little orbs of ice were now settling on the shaft of the icicle. It wasn't until he felt the tears spilling almost painfully hot down his cheeks that Vexen realized he was crying.

What in the name of hell had he been planning to do? He shuddered with disgust and trepidation. No, he couldn't back out, not now! The tears were a reflex...just reflex...

Marluxia shifted in his sleep, eyelids fluttering as a small smile spread across his lips. Vexen jumped halfway out of his skin, eyes wide as he watched the other man.

"Roses." He murmured in his sleep. "He likes roses...n'orchids. Deserves...nice things."

Vexen knew full well who he was talking about, thinking about...even in his sleep. He cast aside the icicle with disgust. It had been a foolish idea anyway; he was a man, not a monster. He looked down at Marluxia's sleeping form with a small, sad smile.

"So do you." He murmured. "But you won't be able to find them here."

He brushed a finger down his delicate cheekbone for a minute before turning away, not wanting to be the devil in an angel's presence any longer.

* * *

Vexen had simply gone to sleep that night, not thinking of Marluxia until the last minute, where his face blossomed before his mind's eye. He hadn't been able to help himself, and had cried himself into exhausted sleep, unsure of what he would do come morning.

He slept a long, dreamless sleep, the lab quiet around him. In fact, he didn't wake up until the next morning, barely realizing he was held in someone's arms, warm and safe, before drifting off again into sleep.

Lexaeus laughed, letting Zexion snuggle closer to Vexen's bony frame and wrap the blanket tighter around the three of them. "He's almost impossible to wake up sometimes, isn't he?" He whispered. Zexion nodded.

"Well, considering he kept talking in his sleep last night, I'd say he's still just worn out." He murmured, affectionately ruffling his older brother's hair and kissing his forehead. "Should we tell him, Aeleus?" He asked. Lexaeus raised an eyebrow.

"About what, Ienzo?" He replied. Zexion giggled.

"You know." He purred. "That he was talking about Marluxia."

Lexaeus rolled his eyes, giving him a quick smile as he brought Zexion further in under the blanket, tucking it around him.

"Do you like living your life in a castle above subzero?" He reminded his little brother. Zexion's eyes got wide as he tried not to smile.

"Mm. I certainly do." He replied. "And I also like having a tiny bit of blackmail handy, you know, just in case..." He teased. Lexaeus ruffled his hair, savoring the sound of his indignant squeak. "Oh come on, you were laughing too!" He cried. Lexaeus snorted.

"True." He amended. "But I wasn't the one recording it, Ienzo." He shot back. Zexion rolled his eyes.

"Oh, you'll all thank me later." He grumbled. "Now go back to bed."

Lexaeus obeyed, but not before making sure both Zexion and Vexen were warm under the covers.


	62. Halloween

(HEY LOOK EVERYONE A TON OF RANDOM ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW REFERENCES. HOORAY! :D

I loooove that movie so much. o3o I'm Rocky now for my costume, cause my parents didn't help me with my Yuna costume in time. I'M A GAY FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER BECAUSE OF YOU, MOM. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

It's fun prancing around in gold undies for Halloween :D

Okay. Some of the costumes might be hard to recognize, so I'll explain; Tifa is Morticia Addams, Aerith is Nessarose/The Witch of the East, Demyx is Coloumbia, Xigbar is Eddie, Larxene is the Bride of Frankenstein, Lexaeus is Frankenstein's Monster, Luxord is the Mad Hatter, Xaldin is Medusa, Leon is Edward Scissorhands (I was lost for ideas at that point ^^;) Axel is just a random bondage mental patient, Roxas is a "creepy twin" but also looks like Damien from the Omen, Cid is Charles Lindbergh, Vincent is Himself, Xemnas is Bela Lugosi!Dracula, Saix is a werewolf, Zexion is the Phantom of the Opera, and Senayax is Wednesday Addams.

Namine and Ansem stayed behind to give out candy to the children of Radiant Garden, duh. xD

FINAL FANTASY V REFERENCE. Everyone loves Gilgamesh! :D

Also yes, Vexen in panties UNF. /dies/ Hawt. Marluxia too. SLUT.

Oh, and of course, the Firefly reference. Oh Jayne. xD

JACK/SALLY FLUFF :D

Also, if you can get all the references, I love you for eternity. :3

Happy Halloween everyone! I hope you like this new chapter~

Don't own KH.

Dedicated to the Halloween Spirit! :D)

* * *

It had seemed like a really, really good idea to go to Halloweentown. Senayax was still young, and finally, with her heart back, they could try giving her a normal childhood. The entire Organization had agreed, even Xemnas, who loathed the place. The Hollow Bastion crew had agreed as well, a slight surprise for everyone but Sora.

"She's easy to love." He explained as they got ready, shrugging his shoulders as Xemnas raised an eyebrow. "You know, she cares about everyone and stuff. It's kinda hard to explain." He said, grinning sheepishly. Xemnas shook his head.

"No." He murmured. "I understand entirely." He sighed. "After all, I'm going, and I loathe the place. It's just so...wrong, somehow."

Sora shrugged again, blowing a loose strand of hair away from his face and smiling. "Hey, maybe you'll see things differently when you go with her. You never know." He offered. Xemnas sighed.

"Perhaps. At any rate, we ought to head out soon. She wanted to go trick-or-treating as well, once Xigbar told her it involved candy." He groaned. "You know that's going to be hell, right?"

Sora just laughed. Xemnas rolled his eyes and opened the door, heading outside to see the others, waiting for Sora and Cid to get the ship ready. Vincent yawned, ruffling his hair and adjusting his headband.

"Are you sure this is a wise idea?" He asked. Cid, who had come out of the house with his goggles already on and prepared to go, shook his head.

"Probably not. But would you rather deal with a pouting little kid?" He offered. Vincent winced, shaking his head as everyone started to get on the ship. Senayax had already gotten on before any of them, barely able to restrain her absolute glee as she wriggled in her seat with Sunny Jim on her lap. Everyone shared a small smile with each other; the reason why they had done it became a lot clearer as they saw her so happy.

Zexion sat next to her, giving her a quick, gentle kiss before leaning back and yawning, having been woken up rather early by her exuberance. Senayax snuggled into his embrace without question, closing her eyes and letting him hold her close as Cid started the ship up and the ragtag group sped off for Halloweentown.

* * *

Of course, it was tradition to go to Halloweentown in costume. The world seemed to know if you were dressed in costume or not, and if you weren't...well, the results could get amusing, to say the least.

The first one to step outside of the ship was Cid. He stared down at his costume, raising his eyebrows until they were practically reaching the moon. A leather bomber jacket, complete with fur trim, knee-high boots, and a leather pilot's hat and goggles.

"Fuck is this?" He snapped. "An' you, Vin, why th' fuck dinnit you change?" He turned to look at his lover, who was dressed exactly the same as he always was. Vincent shrugged.

"This world must have just assumed I was already in costume." He murmured, flashing Cid an absolutely wicked smile. Cid settled for glaring at him as he adjusted his jacket.

"Stupid vampire bastard." He grumbled. "Better be glad I love yeh, because otherwise, yeh'd be lookin' at a lifetime on the couch." He snapped. Vincent simply snorted, seeing right through his lie and ruffling his lover's short blonde hair.

Lexaeus sighed with relief, looking down at his outfit. Leather pants and high boots, along with wire going up across his skin. Frankenstein's monster. How grossly appropriate.

Larxene stretched out beside him, adjusting her new black-and-white wig. "Bride of Frankenstein?" She teased. Lexaeus groaned.

"This would be the worst place to get married in, admit that." He told her. Larxene just laughing, kissing his forehead.

Demyx was thrilled about his outfit; sequined top hat, sequined gold jacket, and tuxedo leotard? It looked totally awesome. Xigbar admired the view while he adjusted his own outfit; a leather jacket and shirt-and-jeans combo with a saxophone strapped to his waist instead of a pistol.

Xaldin couldn't exactly say he was thrilled about his costume; his braids now had small fake snake heads attached to their tips, (well, he hoped they were fake...), and, while he wasn't in a dress this time, a toga was close enough.

Luxord laughing at him as he stood there in a top hat and violently clashing waistcoat and ruffled shirt did not help. He turned around to glare at him. "Just because you're the Mad Hatter and don't look like a whore doesn't mean I can't lock you out of the bedroom." He snapped. Luxord simply kissed his cheek.

Xemnas looked down at his own outfit and groaned. Bela Lugosi was getting dug up and he was going to _pay. _Xemnas had been stuck with the "classic" vampire look, complete with cape, fangs, incredibly tight leather pants, and one of those 1800s blouses, a throwback to a simpler, more idyllic time where no one had heard the term "metrosexual."

"Master, as much as you're complaining, at least Halloweentown didn't exercise its' sick sense of humor on _you." _Saix grumbled. Xemnas didn't even have to turn around to know that his puppy had ended up as a werewolf. He resisted the urge to grin as he turned around and pulled Saix into a deep kiss.

"There." He said, satisfied. "That should settle the species rivalry."

Saix rolled his eyes, mouthing, "_Stop reading Larxene's horror porn." _Unfortunately, Larxene heard him, and kicked him discreetly before nuzzling Lexaeus' cheek and playing innocent. Lexaeus just rolled his eyes.

Roxas looked down at his clothing and raised an eyebrow. A suit with a bloodstained button-down shirt; nothing too out of the ordinary. Axel came down after him, ruffling his hair. "Creepy twin, don't you get it?" He said. Roxas rolled his eyes. Axel just laughed, ruffling his own outfit.

He had ended up as what was either a mental asylum inmate or a bondage freak; a black straightjacket with shimmering buckles and skin-tight sleeves complemented pants that seemed to be made entirely of buckles and zippers. Roxas couldn't exactly say he was disappointed, but they were in public...

Aerith quite liked her costume; it was a witch's cloak and striped socks, complete with ruby-red slippers. Tifa seemed to be her counterpart, suddenly in a long, form-fitting black dress with her hair undone and trailing down her back.

Cloud had, to his horror, ended up in a lavender dress, complete with a wig and ribbons; it was a dress he knew far too well, and one he had hoped to never see again after the Wall Market fiasco. Leon, clad in a much more masculine leather bodysuit with knives hanging off the edges, was eyeing him appreciatively even as Cloud fumed.

Sora had gotten his old outfit back, sans the pumpkin accessory across his forehead. Riku was dressed in his outfit from when he had been possessed by Ansem; it unnerved him, but Sora hugged him tightly and he relaxed, kissing his forehead. Kairi hugged him as well, dressed as Glinda the good witch, which made her skirt fluff up around him as he laughed.

Zexion sighed, fiddling with the mask now across one-half of his face. "But Eric is an asshole." He grumbled, storming down the steps. Lexaeus shrugged.

"Well, he's also the only interesting character in it. Considering what a wuss Raoul is..." He trailed off as Zexion groaned dramatically, making sure his hair was situated over the mask before turning around and beckoning to Senayax.

Senayax had gotten braids, a black dress with a white frock and black sweater over it, kneesocks, and big, clunky schoolgirl shoes. In her hand she had a long butcher's knife, which she tapped against her hip before giggling.

"I _like _this one." She said cheerfully. Sunny Jim, who had been given a little pumpkin suit and hat, nodded in agreement. Everyone else decided it was much better to say nothing and disregard her comment.

With a start, she looked up, realizing something. "Where are Vexen an' Marly?" She asked. The others all shared quick glances, realizing both of them were gone and wincing.

That would mean one of two things; either they were "busy" back on the ship, or they had left them behind.

Senayax poked her head through the door again and called out, "Vexen? Marluxia?" She was met with silence, and she wrinkled her nose in annoyance. "Come on! We're gonna miss trick or treatin', an' if it's because of you two, I'mma _use_ this knife." She threatened.

There was still silence for a minute, before Vexen's voice came from behind the door leading to the hull.

"No." He snapped. Senayax rolled her eyes.

"C'mon! We're gonna be late!" She sighed, playing her trump card; she began to sniffle, letting the eyeliner dribble down her cheeks in black rivers as she whimpered pitifully. "Please? I don' wanna go without you..."

"I look like a _whore." _Vexen snarled. Senayax tilted her head, still unaware of what a whore was, exactly. Xemnas rolled his eyes, storming in and yanking the door off of its' hinges.

"We are going right now, so get rea-_oh my god." _He said, voice hushed with awe.

Vexen was literally completely naked save for a gold pair of short-shorts and golden ballet slippers. Xemnas closed his eyes and tried not to scream, letting his brother storm out the door with Marluxia in tow.

Marluxia himself was decked out in a shimmering black corset; fishnets and garters accentuated the semi-thong that glimmered and shone as he balanced on his newfound high heels, the pearls around his neck clacking as he shifted. The extravagant makeup across his face only served to make the whole thing like some sort of insane apparition of a drag queen and a fabric store that got thrown into a blender with some extra glitter glue tossed in for good measure.

"Yeah, well, you're not the only one." He said, adjusting the thong. "Although your ass looks pretty good in those shorts, so if we could come here more ofte-" Vexen cut him off with a glare that literally froze the seats around him.

"One more word and I'm going to stab you with an icicle." He snarled. Marluxia just laughed, ruffling his hair and heading outside, flipping his hair as he gave a haughty sniff of amusement, watching the others stare at him as if he'd grown an extra head. Vexen slunk after him, trying to hide the fact that he was currently dressed in what might as well have been a belt for all it covered.

Everyone was quiet for a minute.

"_Slut." _Larxene said, barely holding in hysterical giggles. Marluxia rolled his eyes.

"Wrong response, dear." He replied. She rolled her eyes back at him, sticking her tongue out at him as he responded in kind.

"Well, fine, I'll just go get the bread and newspapers. And you better say it, mister, 'cause I'm not sitting here for ten minutes and waitin'." She drawled. Marluxia ruffled her hair before turning back to Vexen.

"Oh, _Rocky!" _He trilled, fully enjoying the look of horror on Vexen's face. "Come _here, _darling!"

Vexen could feel his dignity shattering into miniscule particles with every step he took. Marluxia brought him into his arms and ruffled his hair, kissing the top of his head before turning to Larxene. "Well? What do you think?" He asked. Larxene giggled.

"Aw, well, I don't like my men with too much muscle." She teased. (Lexaeus admittedly snorted with derision and tried not to collapse in quiet laughter.) Marluxia huffed, pressing his hand against Vexen's crotch, (who by this point was pretty sure he was going to have _years _of repressing this incident to go through by now.)

"Bitch please, I didn't make him for _you!" _He shot back. The two of them were in hysterical giggles by this point, trying to restrain their laughter and totally failing. Xemnas rolled his eyes.

"Can we _please _stop making inane references and get to the square, because frankly, the less time I spend watching you molest my brother, Marluxia, the better." He snapped. Marluxia rolled his eyes and harrumphed in disgust.

"You too, _Bela. _Don't make me turn you into a statue." He snapped. Xemnas settled for turning on his heel and storming off towards the square, leaving Vexen mortified and more than slightly aroused, Marluxia in tears of laughter, and Larxene wishing she'd gone as Coloumbia instead.

Halfway through their trek to the main square, Senayax tugged on Zexion's sleeve and whispered into his ear, "_What's a whore, Zexion?" _Her lover sighed, shaking his head.

"Not until you're older." He muttered, leaving her confused and more than slightly amused as she followed behind him with Sunny Jim in tow.

* * *

Senayax had gone first, going ahead of the group, leaving the rest of them to worry. They were adults; they saw this world and its horrors and grotesqueries for what they were. She, pure and innocent and young, saw the surface, and nothing more. They didn't know how they could tell her that all they saw was rotting darkness where she saw light.

Except that the second they stepped through the gates, almost everyone audibly gasped.

Sora merely looked up at Xemnas with a quick smile. "I told you, huh?" He murmured. Xemnas nodded, unable to speak.

It was as if as she walked over the stones, the darkness disappeared; a child would not, could not, see this world for what it was, and thus, in following her example, neither did they. Xemnas swallowed as the world brightened around him. She turned back to them all and smiled.

"C'mon." She murmured. "The party's starting."

Her family followed without hesitation.

Senayax yawned, stretching her arms over her head as she looked at a poster attached to a coffin. "_Now's Your Chance to Be the Pumpkin Queen!" _It trumpeted. "_The Great, Grand Prize; an Evening Out With Our Hero, Jack Skellington!" _She tilted her head.

"Who's he?" She asked. Sora came up behind her, reading the poster and raising an eyebrow.

"He's a friend of mine. Well, sort of. It's kinda complicated. I met him awhile back and helped him save Santa Claus. Anyways, he's sort of the head of this world, so to speak." He told her. Senayax nodded.

"I'm signin' up. Could be fun, y'know?" She said. Sora laughed, filling in her name for her as she got distracted by an alley cat that had a piece of candy inits' mouth.

* * *

Vexen had tried to hide. He really, really had. But apparently with the outfit, Marluxia had decided that being almost pornographically assertive was part of the package deal. He had an iron grip on his wrist, making sure he couldn't bolt and run back to the sanity and safety of the ship. He seemed to _enjoy _showing him off, as a matter of fact.

"Marluxia, god dammit, I am getting really cold." He snapped. Marluxia rolled his eyes and kissed his forehead.

"You rule over ice, my darling. I highly doubt you're cold." He shot back. Vexen glared viciously at him.

"I don't get cold in _normal clothing, _that is true. But considering I am currently in what amounts to a _golden pair of panties, _I think I have a right to be cold!" He snapped. Marluxia fought down a laugh and pulled him so close that Vexen could feel the corset laces digging into his skin.

"Well then, it's a good thing you have me to warm you up." He said cheerfully. "Feel like rose tinting my world, baby?"

Vexen tried to resist. He really, really did. But Marluxia just looked so damn good in high heels.

"We're meeting them in an hour." He protested. Marluxia laughed.

"At the rate you're going, we'll only be five minutes." He teased.

Vexen narrowed his eyes. The game had just been set.

He pounced on Marluxia and threw him over his shoulder, storming off for the ship. Marluxia fought down a wicked smirk, and simply trilled once more, "Oh, _Rocky!"_

_

* * *

_

As Leon and Aerith took Senayax to some of the houses, trick-or-treating with her, Sally sighed, watching the newcomers from afar. She had wanted to go to the celebration so badly, but Finklestein held her back, claiming he needed some more tests run on her. She knew about the Pumpkin Queen contest, and it ached her miserably that she wouldn't be able to participate. If she could, she'd have given her left arm to be with Jack, if even for a few minutes...

She shook her head. Well, she might not be able to participate in the contest, but she could at least perhaps sneak out for an hour or so...if only to see Jack. She nodded, determination glinting in her eyes as she prepared another sleeping draught for Finklestein.

* * *

Senayax ate her bag of candy absentmindedly as she walked down the street. She had gone around town and picked up gossip from some of the other residents, and from what she had gleaned, the Pumpkin Pageant was a contest to see who could impress Jack the most with "feats of scariness." She rolled her eyes and tried not to smile. If only he'd done this contest while she was a Nobody. Hollowmoon woulda showed 'em a thing or two.

She shook her head. That was definitely out, then. Bleeding was out as well; the only reason she had ever been able to do that was because of Hollowmoon in her body, adding his blood to her own. She was fine with that; her ability to be able to heal even grievous injuries had stuck with her, and Vincent had started teaching her about marksmanship. (He even let her hold Cerebus, a fact which made Yuffie insanely jealous.) She shrugged.

Healin' people wasn't scary. Sunny Jim as a pumpkin wasn't scary. What could she do that was scary?

She sighed, tapping her knife against her hip. Pain was scary, but not scary enough. The knife was out. She groaned. All right, so she was out of ideas. She could just see how this went and play it by ear; what other choice did she have?

With Sunny Jim beside her, Senayax walked through the streets of Halloweentown, hoping for an epiphany.

An hour later, everyone had met each other in the square, most of them saddled with bags of candy or human remains. Senayax looked around, making a quick tally of everyone before she quirked an eyebrow. "Where are Vexen an' Marluxia?" She asked.

The silence she received was enough to be an answer.

She sighed. "Righ'. They'll meet us here eventually...now, I got t'get an idea for what's scary for the pageant thing. Anyone got any ideas?"

Larxene chewed her lip in thought. "Pain?" She asked. Lexaeus rolled his eyes. Senayax giggled.

"Already decided that wasn't scary 'nuff." She replied. Larxene smirked. Zexion groaned.

"Don't encourage her." He muttered. "Anyways, Senayax, I could conjure an illusion, if you like." He offered. She shook her head and kissed his cheek.

"Nah, 'cause I want to do this for myself, y'know? It's gotta be somethin' I can do." She said. He nodded, pulling her close. She leaned her head on his chest for a minute before pulling away and adjusting her skirt. "I'mma go keep lookin', 'kay? It starts in an hour, so we'll all meet back here again." She smiled. "Preferb'ly with Marluxia and Vexen."

They all nodded, most of them holding back giggles as they split up once more to explore.

* * *

Senayax sighed, holding Sunny Jim in her arms as she walked down the street. "D'you have any ideas, Sunny Jim?" She asked. The Shadow shook his head.

"Kree." He offered. She rolled her eyes.

"Pain is still not scary, Sunny Jim." She snapped. He shook his head.

"Kree-ree." He said. She rolled her eyes once more.

"Or funny. Seriously, why are y'all so enamored wit' pain?" She snapped. Sunny Jim just shrugged. She groaned, kissing the top of his head. "I live with a buncha crazy people, don't I?" She mused, more thinking out loud than actually asking the question. Sunny Jim answered anyway.

"Kree." He told her. She just sighed.

The two walked in a comfortable silence for awhile, enjoying the sights and sounds as people eagerly prepared for the celebration. Senayax held Sunny Jim tight as a cold gust of wind shivered around them, stirring leaves up. Sunny Jim's antennae twitched, and he hissed. "Kree! Kree-ree-reep!" He said. Senayax tilted her head.

"I didn't hear anythin'. You sure?" She asked. Sunny Jim nodded, pointing to the alley down the street. Senayax nodded. "Mmkay. C'mon, let's go see what's up."

Sunny Jim followed after her as she walked down the street and turned into the alleyway, calling out softly, "Hello?"

Leaves shifted, and a woman looked up into her eyes. Senayax started slightly before realizing that she was crying, and probably not a threat. She gave her a nervous smile. "Hi. I'm Senayax." She offered. The woman nodded, auburn braids falling in her face.

"Sally." She replied. "How did you know I was here?" Senayax held up Sunny Jim in response. She blinked. "A Heartless...Jack wanted to use those." A soft sob caught in her throat. Senayax tilted her head.

"D'you know Jack?" She asked. Sally shook her head.

"Y-yes...but not really. I mean, I just want to get close to him, but there's no way I could...My creator doesn't even know I'm out here right now." She confessed. Senayax nodded, deep in thought as she chewed her lip. An idea occurred to her suddenly, and her grin was vicious and wide.

"Hey, Sally..." She said, pointing to the arms hanging loose from her body, the stitches gone, "...Can I borrow your arms?"

An hour had passed; Vexen and Marluxia had eventually emerged from the ship and acted like absolutely nothing was wrong, even though Marluxia now had his corset on backwards and Vexen was wearing his shoes on the wrong feet. Everyone was waiting for the pageant to start, interested to see if Senayax had found the scary thing she'd been searching for.

Sora waved to Jack as he stepped out onto the stage, shuffling some papers around as he stood straight and proud.

"My friends, citizens of Halloweentown, I have offered this pageant to the scariest, dastardliest, viciousliest, and absolutely goriest acts that we, as creatures of the night, have to offer! I can only hope that those of you who are here to bear witness to this madness enjoy _every second!" _He roared.

"Someone should show him Marluxia trying to fuck Vexen in high heels. I bet that'd be scary." Larxene muttered. Marluxia bit back a giggle as Vexen shot her a vicious glare.

Jack bowed deeply, extending a hand outwards. "Let the show begin." He purred.

One of the witches did her cauldron trick, summoning a massive rat that then proceeded to eat itself alive, starting with the tail. Sora blanched, burying his face into Riku's shoulder as his lover patted his head absentmindedly. Zexion simply turned another page in his book, bored. He had made worse illusions for kicks.

The next was a female clown who, rather than having a tear-away face, had a tear-away _chest. _Spiders crawled out of the hollow cavity, and even Vincent winced in disgust. Jack looked thrilled, even as the contestants got increasingly gruesome. (Sora had attempted to crawl under Riku's shirt to hide at that point.)

Finally, after the entire group had mentally checked out from the horror, Jack read the last name on the list. "Senayax?" He called out; the others pulled themselves out of their mental catatonia and watched intently.

There was quiet for a minute. Jack quirked an eyebrow. "Senayax?" He called out again, being met with silence. He sighed. "Well-"

"FOOLS!" The voice cut through the crowd as the curtains on the stage flew open. "It is now the time to fight like men! And ladies! ...And ladies who dress like men!"

Senayax stood on stage with an outfit that seemed to be comprised of a sixties thrift store puking up on a superhero costume. She had two extra arms that held wickedly curved swords, both of which waggled with the weight of the swords in their fists.

The others just stared.

"Now! For Gilgamesh, it is MORPHING TIME!" She crowed.

The arms detached themselves from her sleeves and fell on the floor, where they wriggled like hideous maggots. She winced. "...That's...not a good thing." She looked out at the audience. "Exit Gilgamesh, stage left!" She roared, taking the arms and dragging them out with her.

The whole of Halloweentown was silent for a long, awkward minute.

Then Jack burst out laughing.

"That, without question, ladies and gentlemen, was perhaps not the scariest, but the most passionate...and certainly silliest example of Halloween spirit I have ever seen! Senayax, your originality has won you the Pumpkin Pageant!" He announced, as the townsfolk erupted into cheers.

"I still say she should've gone with pain." Larxene grumbled. Lexaeus kissed her forehead, wisely keeping silent.

Senayax was quiet as she accepted the trophy, watching the others applaud for her, cheering her name. She beckoned to Jack, pulling him down the steps to stand right in front of Sally. She handed the ragdoll her arms back with a small smile. In the arms was the trophy she had won. Sally stared at it in awe as Senayax smiled.

"You deserve this." She murmured. "An' you deserve him, too."

Jack looked at Sally; Sally looked at Jack.

Without another word, Sally threw herself into Jack's arms.

Senayax quietly excused herself, running back into Zexion's embrace. "Happy Halloween." She murmured. Zexion kissed her.

"Happy Halloween, my little Pumpkin Queen." He murmured in reply. She let him pick her up and carry her back to the ship, rocking her back and forth. The others followed behind, getting ready to head back home.

"You know," Marluxia said, rubbing Vexen's sore bottom with a teasing grin, "once we get home, these costumes are gonna disappear." He pulled him into a kiss. "One more time?" He purred. Vexen shook his head, but there was a wide smirk across his lips.

"No." He murmured. "We're going to be too busy shopping." Marluxia tilted his head.

"For what?" He asked. Vexen's grin only grew wider.

"Oh, the usual. A nice corset and heels for me...and a pair of golden panties for you." He purred, breath hot and heavy in Marluxia's ear.

Marluxia had to admit, he liked the sound of that.


	63. Touch Me, Freeze Me, Put Me Into Bloom

(EVERYONE'S FAVORITE DYSFUNCTIONAL COUPLE IS BACK :D

I love how last chapter was them fucking each other's brains out in the back of the gummi ship while in drag/panties, and now they're all like RAWR HATE U but god you're so fucking hot unf YEAH YOU HEARD ME no NOT about the hotness about how I hate you stupidjerk

Lol at the description so hard I swear. That is totally their relationship. See, at least Marluxia and Larxene are nice, good, sane BFFs. Sort of, anyways, except you can probably cross sane off that list...

OMFG THE KH KINK MEME. OH GOD THE KINK MEME.

Some of that stuff? Unf. Unf on so many levels. Hit like a ton of fetishes I didn't even know I had in me. (I am actually not /too/ kinky, but hey, vanilla is boring.)

And then the other stuff?

Well...let's see. At the risk of scarring you all forever, three words; Sora/Donald vore.

And that? That was only part one. There was some horrible, soul-scarring shit, (and I do mean literal shit, so if that's not enough for you to guess what kind of kink it was YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO BE READING THIS FIC), and seriously oh god can never unsee. But then I get a nice XigDem cuddlefic and life becomes better. :D

BBS NOOZ: Well actually this time it's ARI IS A TARD WITH HER PSP NOOZ. The card popped out and I couldn't make the damn thing shove back in right until today, so yeah. Tomorrow is levelgrinding, and then if I'm not at the final boss by friday, I am either slaving over my NaNo or something else equally important. But I WILL HAVE IT BEAT.

Speaking of; my NaNo this year is literally just a continuation of OGC. I am not putting two projects on my plate of such a massive caliber. Plus it means you'll HAVE to get daily updates, as I'll just publish what I am writing that day. Go me :D

Right, anyways, how was everyone's Halloweens? Stay in this year? Who'd you go as? What sort of candy didja get~? Let me know in a review~ I'm curious!

FTR; I went as Rocky, went around with some friends, and got a middling-to-above-average haul. I've done better, but I only trick or treated for around two hours. I had the Halloween special to finish; plus, I'd never eat it all anyway. ^^;

Also fucking dragoncave had such a lag yesterday; didn't get a halloween dragon. Whatever, I got a vampire one, so tbh, Halloween lag can eat it. Go clicky, please~? They're all so cute. I got attached to pixels again. THIS IS JUST LIKE NEOPETS. WONDERFUL. xDx

Don't own KH.

Dedicated to Christmas! :D YES IT IS EARLY SHUTUP THANKSGIVING IS A WORTHLESS HOLIDAY THAT CELEBRATES THE SUBJUGATION OF INDIGENOUS PEOPLES AND BESIDES THERE'S NO CANDY.)

* * *

Marluxia awoke the next morning and headed straight out for the garden, stopping only to get a slice of toast before disappearing out into the grounds to begin work on his greenhouse. The day was shaping up to be a very mellow one; no one had any serious missions, and he would have the day to work out exactly what he wanted with Larxene helping him out with the finer details. He sighed with pleasure. Nothing could go wrong with today.

Larxene showed up a few minutes later, a cup of coffee for the both of them in each of her hands, setting them both down on the ground before she kissed him on the cheek. "Morning, Marly." She said, yawning slightly. "It's nice out here, huh?" She mumbled, stretching out on the grass. Marluxia nodded.

"Pretty nice." He agreed. "Now, we've got to lay down the basic seeds first, and then we get to the bigger stuff, so c'mon; I need you to help me put down the morning glory seeds." He said. Larxene raised an eyebrow.

"Can't you just make them bloom by thinking about them, fairy boy?" She asked. Marluxia rolled his eyes and fought down a smile at the irreverent nickname.

"Well, yes...but sometimes, the feeling of making an effort and seeing your creation becoming a success is much better than just wishing it into being." He told her. Larxene shrugged.

"I guess. You're pretty sappy in the mornings, huh?" She teased. Marluxia ruffled her hair, laughing as she slapped his gardening tools out of his hands in retaliation.

* * *

Vexen had tried covering over or boarding up the window that led outside to Marluxia's garden, but he found that every time he turned away, the boards had been pulled away or the books moved back to the shelves. After two hours of the cat-and-mouse nonsense, he gave up in favor of trying to replicate the heart from stem cells rather than trying old heart tissue. He knew full well Zexion and Lexaeus were laughing about his predicament, so he ignored them until lunch, when Lexaeus settled for taking the easy way out to assure he would eat and lifted him over his shoulder and went for the fridge.

It was a relatively quiet, peaceful day, even when Zexion found out that the coffee grinder had broken and they had to settle for packaged instant cappuchinos. (He pouted and stormed around the room for an hour, but both Vexen and Lexaeus had dealt with worse.)

It was only around dinnertime that the three of them went back upstairs, settling in with the others and exchanging stories.

Vexen only realized about halfway through dinner that it was peaceful and quiet. His eyes widened and he looked around the table; indeed, Marluxia and Larxene were both still gone!

He would have rejoiced, except that twice-blasted "placebo" throbbed within him, and he felt a tightness in his chest at the thought of Marluxia outside without dinner. He made two plates, disappeared them into the darkness, and did his best to make an excuse to leave, feeling very triumphant at not having attracted any suspicion as he disappeared into the darkness.

Axel wolf-whistled. "Got it _bad, _doesn't he?" He murmured.

Xigbar burst out laughing.

* * *

Vexen shivered, feeling the ice that was always within him shifting and curling under his skin. It was so cold, even with his own inner frigidness...he'd sleep with the heater on tonight. He pulled his jacket tighter around him and headed down the steps, heading right for the garden.

His boots echoed on the steps, the hollow clicking sounds distracting him from the thought that soon enough, he would be walking right into the lion's den, so to speak. He wasn't even sure why he was doing this! It was just out and out stupidity, and as far as he knew, he wasn't stupid. He groaned.

No, he wasn't. But he wasn't a monster, and if nothing else, Larxene had done nothing to harm him, and she hadn't eaten either. He winced. He could just leave it at the gate and teleport, certainly...but what if they didn't find it? He shook his head. No, it was no use. He was going to have to go inside the garden.

He opened the door and headed down into the courtyard, walking down the pathway that would lead him out to the garden. He shivered in the outside darkness, realizing either it was colder outside than in, (which would be scientifically impossible; the castle didn't need a heater, because the void didn't exactly have a steady climate), or he was getting colder from inside himself. He sighed, making a quick left and finding himself confronted with a thick wall of ivy.

He surveyed the wall and found no entrance. He quirked an eyebrow; surely Marluxia had to have a way to get in?

As he considered the options, he didn't realize one of the vines was snaking up around his leg until he realized the tendril had come right up to his lips. He shrieked, but the vine simply wrapped around his mouth. He struggled in vain, the vines making it incredibly hard to maneuver as he tried to freeze them. However, the second the tiniest bit of frost brushed their leaves, it was as if they'd recognized him.

_No threat, no no no. 'Tis the lord's empress, the queen. No fight. _Vexen stared in shock as he realized that the vines were rustling in an uncanny representation of speech. Once he got over that, however, and processed the actual words, his eyes narrowed.

"_What_ did he call me?" He roared, watching the vines shudder and chitter. "Oh, no, that absolute bastard did _not! _I am a _man, _and I do not appreciate being treated like a damned _pet!" _

_Not being treated like one. _The leaves rustled. _Are one. _

Vexen went the immature route and flashed them a crude hand gesture he'd learned from Xigbar. The plants withered away, opening a gateway for him immediately. He snorted with disgust, slamming Frozen Pride into the gate and storming through the bent, open doors, grumbling the entire time he walked past the first cobblestone path.

* * *

Larxene yawned, sitting up and stretching. Her stomach grumbled in discontent up at her, and she frowned. Yeah, it had been awhile since she had eaten...

"Hey, Mar?" She called out, hearing him stop in his digging and stretch. "Are you hungry? It looks like it's probably about dinnertime anyway." He nodded, yawning and massaging his neck.

"Ahuh. No worries, I think we can quit for awhile." He told her. She nodded, standing up and going to head out of the garden, before her eyes fell on a man with pale blonde hair and wild green eyes storming up the walkway. Her grin split into a near perfect imitation of the Cheshire's as she put together the clues and deduced just exactly who this man was.

"Hey, fairy boy!" She called. "Someone's at the _doooor_ for you!" She cooed, blowing him a kiss before disappearing into the darkness, cackling with hysteria. Marluxia watched her disappear with a blink of surprise, looking up just in time to see Vexen standing right in front of him, looking for all the world like he would bolt at any instant. Marluxia swallowed his shock and fought down a purr of delight.

"Marluxia." He greeted him, voice like ice as he tried to focus on his feet rather than his eyes. Marluxia rolled his eyes. What a fool his sweetheart was being...oh well. He had an opportunity now, and he would damn well take it.

"Good evening, Vexen. Are you well? Certainly you're here for a reason." He said. Vexen bit his lip, continuing to focus on the grass.

"You weren't at dinner." He blurted out, startling himself with his own honesty. "I got worried. You're nothing like me; I assume you don't skip dinner regularly. Besides, Larxene had not eaten either, and I knew that would displease Lexaeus, and..." He trailed off. "...Well, I suppose it would displease me if you hadn't eaten as well."

Marluxia could have outright moaned. As it was, he settled for a soft purr deep within his throat. Step closer, sweetie. Just one more step and I could bring you into my arms...

Sadly, Vexen stayed where he was. Marluxia frowned, but reached out a hand to brush against his cheek in compensation. Vexen tensed, but Marluxia ignored it, worry creasing his features as he held his palm over his lover's forehead.

"Vexen." He said, his voice short and demanding an obedient response. "What happened to your body?"

The scientist rolled his eyes. "I rule over ice, Marluxia." He said, voice clipped. "It stands to be reason my body would be rather cold."

"Liar." Marluxia said. The power in that one word silenced any protest Vexen could make as Marluxia snarled. "This is sub-zero, Vexen. You're shaking right in front of me, and you're trying to feed me some nonsense of your attribute!"

"Has it _ever _occurred to you, you absolutely pig-headed bastard, that the only reason I'm trembling right now is because _you're the one touching me?" _He screamed. Vexen knew full well he shouldn't have let Marluxia know how vulnerable the other man made him feel, but he was desperate for anything that would make Marluxia leave him alone.

Marluxia pulled his hand away as if he'd been burned. The sight should have made Vexen triumphant; except that for some awful reason, he felt a deep sense of self-loathing and sadness deep within his thoughts. He opened his mouth to protest, but Marluxia shook his head.

"I understand, Number IV." He said quietly. "I got ahead of myself." He looked into his eyes, and Vexen was horrified to see the faintest sheen of pained tears gathering around his eyes. "Thank you for dinner." He murmured.

Vexen disappeared into the darkness with a mixture of what could be called a scream and a sob of desperation. Marluxia watched the spot where he had been for a long, painful minute, before turning back to his flowers and losing himself in the familiarity of the color and scent, refusing to think of Vexen for the time being.


	64. Fly

(Short chapters mean I love you. :D Obviously.

Vexen didn't mean to be such a people-stupid stupidhead, Marluxia! He's just, well, people-stupid. And sexually frustrated. Stop being so attractive and slutty and half of the problem will be solved! /shot/

CANDY OM NOM NOM oh god I love you old people who give out full size candy bars you light up my life

Also I have off Thursday and Friday so WOO YAY MORE WRITING/SLEEPING IN TIME :D NaNo is better than life, but sleep is better than NaNo. I don't get a lot of sleep during the school week. ^^;

God, this arc is gonna be so padded. NaNo, you make everything awesome. Except for school, because then I can't write, and that's annoying. Gosh.

And there's no BBS NOOZ because I have been writing, so WRITING NOOZ instead!

Well, spoilers aside, I am so pissed at my school, b/c our word documents totally fuck up my formatting WAY TO GO STUPID PCs I hate you Windows 7 you ruin everything. So I can't even write at school! Damn it there goes my "Spend Graphic Design writing" game plan. That class is so boring and easy. God.

FUCKING DONE WITH CATCHER IN THE GODDAMN FUCKING RYE. God I hated that book. If I ever met someone like Holden I'd probably punch them, and I HATE the IDEA of violence against other people. The only other two literary protagonists I hate more are Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, but they don't count, they're like, the anti-literature movement condensed into two flat, boring characters. Yes I am so bitter. Shutup. ME AND MY EIGHTY CATS WILL BE VINDICATED BY HISTORY

Man I wish I had eighty cats. I want rats, but my parents are being slow as snails over it. Fuck it man, I'll wheedle my dad over the weekend. All I know is my next pet is getting named Gallifrey.

This all has so much to do with my writing, obviously. Can't you tell?

Well, my mindset has an effect on the work I write? Shit, I don't know. What I do know is boredom=yaoi fantasies and geometry=boring, so that was one hell of a weird class today. Awesome, though.

Also AGH IT'S MY ART TEACHER'S BIRTHDAY AND I HAVE TO MAKE HER A PRESENT I HAVE TOO MANY THINGS TO DO.

And I think that's it. I most certainly did not in any way ramble simply to take up space. That would just be SILLY.

Do I own KH? Answer: N/N

Dedicated to everyone I know and also to all of the people who, like me, are counting down the days until Christmas.)

* * *

Vexen went straight to his room that night, refusing to speak with anyone else and passing out sometime around two in the morning, tears still streaming down his cheeks. Marluxia himself stayed out in the garden all night, keeping as quiet as Vexen and instead throwing himself into his work. The others watched the entire scene with trepidation; no one wanted an argument, but they were hoping that the two would at least resolve something.

"It's pretty different from everyone else's link." Xigbar confessed, sitting next to Xaldin in the library, sharing his couch as the younger scientist quirked an eyebrow.

"How so?" He asked. Xigbar rolled his eyes.

"Simple, innit? Demyx and I were absolutely devoted to each other from the minute we met, Larxene might be bonkers, but she really likes Lex, and it seems pretty reciprocated, you never hated Luxord in as much as you were intimidated by the sensations themselves, and Xemnas and Saix are both so cute it's a bit disgusting for two grown men and so frustratingly oblivious that it's far too immature for grown men, but Marluxia and Vexen honestly seem to just dislike each other." He groaned. "I thought this thing was a failsafe." Xaldin shook his head.

"They don't hate each other." He said. "It's not hate, Braig...they're just both confused. Marluxia wasn't expecting Vexen to be so resistant, which is throwing him off, and Vexen just wasn't expecting anyone to romance him at all. Give them time. It might be different, but then again, we're all quite different people, reasonably." He said. Xigbar nodded.

"Ah, maybe you have a point, bro." He told his little brother, ruffling his hair. "This one might just take a long, long time."

Xaldin nodded, pleased by his brother's compliment as he leaned into his touch. Xigbar grinned, flicking his forehead. "Although considering the total one-eighty you pulled, anything's possible, eh?" He teased. Xaldin settled for sticking his tongue out at him and pushing him off the couch.

The next morning passed, with the both of them still in their own rooms. Lexaeus and Zexion were still in the lab, content to let Vexen have his fit while they worked, and honestly, neither of them expected Vexen to leave his room.

Of course, when he did around lunchtime, they both jumped halfway out of their seats.

The blonde had put on a plain white button-down shirt and worn-out jeans, and he carried a small carnation in his pocket. He didn't say a single word to them; he simply breezed out of the room and up the steps.

Lexaeus and Zexion watched him go, eyes wide. After the shock faded, Zexion actually smiled, turning back to his notes.

"Axel was right." He mused. "He really does have it bad."

* * *

The wall of vines didn't faze him this time. Vexen simply pushed past them and stormed through the gate, not caring if Marluxia could already hear him.

Marluxia himself was curled up in a ball on the ground, streaked with dirt and sweat. Tear tracks cut through the dirt on his face, but he would deny their existence for as long as possible. Every part of him ached, but at least the ache left him without the tugging sensation and the pain of knowing Vexen had really denied him.

"Look at you." The surprisingly gentle voice startled Marluxia out of his thoughts as he looked up, shocked. "You're absolutely filthy."

A cool hand brushed his hair from his forehead, tucking loose strands behind his ears. "You really ought to reconsider turning into me. I don't even like working all through the night, especially not when I'm getting my hands dirty."

Marluxia looked up to meet Vexen's eyes, almost in tears with relief. He shook his head, shooing tears away so as not to appear desperate. "I thought you hated my touch." He accused. Vexen winced.

"About that...please, forgive me." His voice was heavy and trembling, and Marluxia knew almost instinctively how much saying those words had to hurt his pride. "I do indeed get cold...it doesn't happen often, but it has been happening more and more lately. Even though I do not often let other people physically embrace me...that was no excuse for my behavior." He murmured, looking away as Marluxia tilted his head slightly.

"It's all right." He said. "If you feel like you really must apologize...come back around, oh, say, noon tomorrow. I'll make lunch." He said. Vexen was quiet for a long, painful minute, during which Marluxia felt he must have contemplated suicide at least ten times.

Then he smiled.

"As you wish." He said, disappearing into the darkness.

Marluxia felt like he could fly.

* * *

The only thing Xaldin said to Xigbar for the rest of the day was "I told you so."

And with good reason, too; while the two went about their routines as normal, Vexen had not bothered to cover the window out into the garden, and Marluxia seemed to be exhaling petals for the entire day, blanketing the halls with color. Xaldin himself had stirred them up and now every so often, as someone walked through the hallway, they would scatter and swirl about in the air.

It was a slow, peaceful day; a few missions were gone through, but nothing serious had happened. Xemnas was relaxing with Saix, giving the rest of them a chance to relax as well. Marluxia took some time out of whatever he was working on to sit with Demyx, Axel, Luxord, and Xigbar, but no matter how much they pestered him, he wouldn't tell them what he was working on out in the garden.


	65. One Hand, One Garden, One Gift

(You see this? You see this happiness? It is going. It is all going out the window in like two chapters. This might be fluffy now, but do you REALLY think Vexen can stay this nice to Marluxia?

Interestingly, it's Marluxia who fucks all of it up...although that's how the development goes, eh? Never fear. Since I have NaNo and stuff, daily updates, remember? :D

Marluxia can be dorky too~ Also yeah, all those plants are indeed hothouse/tropical. I DID MY RESEARCH well okay they're not all from the same AREAS but whatever. I lol'ed pretty hard when I found out Dahlia was a hothouse one. Oh dorkery. Wonders never cease.

Also sex in the garden is out, the vines are total pervs too. Peggy/Vine shipping anyone?

MARLUXIA. YOU ARE A FUCKING SLUT. DO YOU HEAR ME? A FUCKING _SLUT. _

...whore.

/shot/

Lol, sorry, but god he totally is, if this isn't like watching a bitch in heat I don't know what is. Someone really needs to get laid. Or at least get some sort of acknowledgment from Vexen; I mean, pardon my crude language, but getting into his pants is like getting into Fort Fucking Knox, and that means a hella lot of lonely nights.

...Although honestly Marluxia's so in love with himself that it would make perfect sense OH JESUS NOT EVEN GOING THERE SEE WHAT YOU DO TO ME KINKMEME SEE

Seriously, he totally took advantage of Vexen being woozy from the heat to kiss his forehead. No other excuse. Otherwise Vexen would have probably turned him into a pink-haired popsicle. Delicious, but not much fun in bed, imo.

Wow, either I'm really pervy today, or the world is crazy. Or both, it's a juxtaposition thing.

Torturing Vexen is fun. I have to do that soon. I need to make sure he's totally getting raked over the coals about this. Actually IDEA yay :D

Seriously, I promise that Vexen is secretly planning something evil. And it will be awesome. And depressing. Or both. And yes, both.

LarxLex soon, swear to god; I'll shove it in next chapter. Gosh, I hate trying to tie two arcs together. ARGH.

Also, to nat; dude. I am so honored. That's AMAZING. I'm really glad I restored your faith in the fandom! :D TBH, I don't read that many fics anymore; I'm so focused on writing my own that I don't have the TIME. /sigh/ Plus yeah, the KH fandom can get weird sometimes.

Also, there's an e.e. cummings poem I found that basically summarizes why Senayax is so beloved by people who are, by all rights, charismatic, battle-crazy, nerdy, heartless lunatics; it's called "Days of Innocence," and the seventh verse is what is key. If you can't find it online, simply ask, and I shall post it in the next chapter. I literally went OMFG IT'S HER in the middle of class. ^^;

And yeah, I think that's it for this chapter. :D

Oh right, BBS NOOZ; god if I never have to levelgrind again it will be too soon

Right. Don't own KH.

Dedicated to my work ethic. GO AWAY TVTROPES I HAVE TO WRITE.)

* * *

Larxene knew full well what Marluxia was planning to do, and as such, had headed out to Twilight Town for paint with Lexaeus in tow, promising to get Marluxia some clothes along with her other purchases. The botanist was slightly lacking in fancier clothing, and as such, had settled for a simple cotton button-down and wickedly tight black pants that flared out around his ankles. He knew full well Vexen was going to be straining not to stare at him, and he admitted to himself with amusement that he had intended that in the first place.

He yawned, reclining back in the chair he had set up and waiting with barely restrained glee. If this worked out, it would be the first step, (and quite a big one), he would get towards claiming Vexen for himself.

He sighed in pleasure, watching a small vine of daisies bloom around his feet. He let them inch up his ankles, leaning back in his chair and thinking only of Vexen, and the surprise he would have for his pet when he arrived.

Vexen fidgeted at the garden gate, unsure of if he really wanted to enter. After all, perhaps Marluxia had forgotten. Perhaps it had just been a joke. Or even-

One of the vines turned to him and tapped his forehead. _Empress going to sit there all day or going to visit the Lord? _It rustled. Vexen glared at it with all of his fury, but not even that would make the plant wither. Evidently, Marluxia had made them glare-proof. The vine just rustled again and opened the gate for him. He rolled his eyes and stormed down the path, pretending he didn't hear the other vines rustling in what sounded quite obnoxiously like schoolgirl giggles.

Once he got away from the lunatic vines, he finally let himself relax and enjoy the garden. Marluxia was an expert craftsman, that he had to grudgingly admit. The gardens were lush and beautiful, vibrant with color and bursting with exotic new species. He tried not to think of the fact that he was leaving himself alone with someone he knew full well wanted in his pants and focused on the adorable bobbling little daisies, reaching down to examine them for a few minutes as he tried to work up the courage to go deeper inside the garden.

Marluxia had set down a white cobblestone path, which Vexen followed throughout the garden for about ten minutes until he realized he had come to another gate. He assumed it was the heart of the garden, and thus, where Marluxia would most likely be.

He knocked on the door timidly, hoping to high heaven that Marluxia wouldn't answer. Unfortunately, the vines rustled, announcing his presence. By then, it was too late to bolt, and Vexen simply stood there like a Heartless in the path of a Keyblade as Marluxia opened the gate.

"Afternoon, Vexen." He said, as courteous as always, knowing full well his hips were leaning forward and emphasizing the curve that his jeans accentuated across his stomach. "Come on in."

Vexen felt like an absolute idiot. He had settled for a simple ice-blue button-down and jeans; he most certainly hadn't been expected Marluxia to dress so...provocatively!

...It helped the botanist was walking in front of him, purposefully bending over every so often to caress the flowers in a way that bordered on outright pornographic.

...Vexen was only human.

With a soft groan, he waited until Marluxia had stood up, (and stretched, of course, revealing his toned, muscled abs), and handed the cake to him. "I brought hot chocolate as well," he explained, "considering I have yet to meet someone who dislikes it, and I just..." He shrugged, unsure of what to say as Marluxia gave him a small smile.

"How appropriate." He murmured. "My beautiful little doll is such a good cook, mm?"

Vexen glared ferociously at him. Marluxia settled for laughing, beckoning him farther down into the heart of the garden.

He hadn't been expecting much to come of the garden; it had only been three days at most. But Shiva help him, Vexen was _impressed. _If there was one thing he could compliment the botanist on, it was his flowers. The sheer scale and volume of the clashing colors made him pause, reaching out to stroke the petals every so often, unaware that his wide-eyed innocent curiosity was turning Marluxia on to the point of becoming painful.

"Hemlock? What on earth would you need that for?" Vexen asked, standing up straight with a sprig in his hand, entwined between two spindly, beautiful, spidery, fluttery fingers, fingers Marluxia can't help imagining wandering far down past his flowers and right into his damn pants. Did Vexen understand how much it hurt to wear _any sort of pants at all _around him? Of course he didn't; Vexen was a naive, blushing virgin if Marluxia ever saw one, and damned if that didn't turn him on even more.

"Stuff." Marluxia said, far too busy focusing on Vexen's hands to think of a coherent reply. Vexen quirked an eyebrow.

"Well, if your...'stuff' is not too important, perhaps I could...come back later. To borrow some, I mean." He added hastily. "I was working on artificial organs-mitosis, you see-and building up their resistance to toxins is important, and natural toxins would be a good place to start, and," Marluxia let Vexen ramble, focused more on the shape of his pale, full lips and wondering how many kisses it would take for them to turn a brilliant crimson, to have them parted in a perfect 'o' as he brought him right into orgasm, how long the ice queen could last before his ministrations made the elder scream-

"And of course, if you have any other plants of such an origin, samples would be appreciated. It's for science; I'm sure you understand." Vexen finished smoothly. Marluxia shook his head and tapped the corner of his mouth with his tongue to make sure he hadn't been drooling. Satisfied he had at least given the illusion of paying attention, he nodded. Anything to get Vexen back into the garden. Up to and including tying him to the grass with the thickest vines he could muster.

"Of course. Whatever you need. That goes for Zexion and Lexaeus as well." He said, saving face by including the other two of his companions. Vexen nodded, the inclusion of his brothers giving him a bit more of a relaxed outlook. Perhaps Marluxia had just wanted to give him something clinical.

(If anything could have shown Marluxia that Vexen was still a naive virgin, that was it.)

Marluxia crooked a finger gently, beckoning Vexen forward. They walked past beds of flowers Vexen had no name for and was sure that if he asked, Marluxia could give him an entire lecture on, something Vexen was no stranger to, being a scientist. He kept pace with the botanist, shivering once again as he was wracked by another sudden chill. They were starting to make him feel almost as sick as if he was standing in the heat all day, rather than simply staying in the lab, where it was much cooler and suited to his body heat.

Marluxia paused in his step; it was a single second, and subtle enough that Vexen didn't notice, too occupied in his own musings on what could be causing the chill. But the botanist had felt his doll chill, and it sent a small flare of rage off in his thoughts.

_He's pushing himself. Too far, in fact. Must do something about that. _The possessive beast in him purred. Marluxia nodded, a small, almost imperceptible bow of his head as a smile crossed his lips. He led Vexen on further in, keeping a close eye on his trembling love, stripping him in his mind's eye and noting his thin ribs, jutting wrist bones, and painfully visible clavicle. He winced. Vexen would have wonderful hips if he would lift a damned morsel to his lips more than once a month. He would have to see to that as well. Perhaps a bartering system; in exchange for supplying him with homeopathic ingredients, Marluxia had that control over him to make sure he would go to dinner every night and eat proper, steady meals.

Marluxia nodded, satisfied. Vexen had a lover now, and it was only right that he would watch over his doll. Especially when he could begin to see the cracks in his porcelain beauty's skin.

Vexen sighed, stretching. "Number XI, are we close?" He asked. "The hot chocolate's going to get cold."

A grin split over Marluxia's face, and Vexen suddenly realized he had sprung some sort of trap on himself. The botanist shook his head.

"No, Vexen." He murmured. "No, it won't."

Vexen had to admit, he was curious now; they had been walking for twenty minutes, after all, and they weren't going to stay hot that long, were they? Marluxia was walking too fast for him to ask, however, and it was only once he stopped at a huge, ivy-coated wall that Vexen had a minute to catch up with him. Marluxia barely waited for him to show up before he pressed a hand against the vines.

"Bleeding heartwines." He murmured. "How ironic."

Vexen tilted his head slightly, confused. Marluxia shook his head. "Nothing. Come in, please." He held up a hand. "Place your hand against the wall, all right? It'll only work if you do it my way." He explained. Vexen narrowed his eyes at the thought of doing _anything _Marluxia's way, but he gave in to his curiosity and held his hand up against the wall. He blinked in shock, realizing there was a hot, soothing pulsing that was trembling under his fingers as Marluxia smiled. "There we go. It'll recognize you now."

Vexen didn't have time to ask what he meant by that until the vines parted and Marluxia pulled him through a glass sliding door.

The first thing he noticed was the heat. It was beautiful; full, encompassing, all-consuming, and so delightfully perfect it made his toes curl into the thick, soft loam beneath his feet. He couldn't stop the moan that slipped from his lips, but he didn't even notice Marluxia snap to attention and survey him with lustful, demanding eyes as his lips parted and he sighed in pure pleasure, stepping across the threshold and opening his eyes. Had he closed them? Yes, it seemed so; perhaps to protect his senses from the blooming mass of sheer rioting color that now surrounded him.

"Begonias." Marluxia says, startling him out of his thoughts. Before Vexen can ask him what he means, he's continued on with his talk. "Blood lilies, blue jacaranda, caltheas-some people call 'em prayer plants, god only knows why-cattleya, chrysanthemums and cosmos, dahlias-I named my scythe after those, you know, Graceful Dahlia, and apparently it's part of a murder too, which is why I got the nickname 'Graceful Assassin,' but that's also because Xigbar is an asshole and thought it was funny."

Vexen knew that sort of rambling spiel far too well; Marluxia had gone into lecture-mode, and he could only wait out the disjointed, babbling storm. "Cassia flowers, and Fire of the Forest ones, too, you know, for heat and all, it makes perfect sense, lotuses and lilacs, and sophontitas or whatever, they're pretty and that's all that matters." He finished, inhaling heavily before looking at Vexen, eager for a reaction.

...Vexen had seen far too much of himself in Marluxia at that moment; someone absolutely passionate about something that mattered really only to them and desperate to share all the knowledge that they had painstakingly researched and collected, finding comfort in the joys of learning.

He didn't realize he was smiling until Marluxia visibly relaxed. He felt a twinge of sort-of-sadness; was Marluxia that afraid of pushing him away because of a minor infraction? He shook his head. Did it matter? This was science. Nothing more than clinical, cold payment-

"This is all for you, Vexen." Marluxia said quietly.

Or not.

Vexen stared at him in complete shock. Never in his entire life had he been given a gift like this. Certainly he had received presents from his brothers and his teacher, but those were different. This was something given out of...out of...

Vexen didn't want to finish that sentence. Not yet. The word itself frightened him right now. Marluxia gave him a weak smile.

"Yes. You have been mentioning you were cold so often...and as your mate, it is my job to ensure your safety. I am your guardian, Vexen. You are _mine, _and I would do anything to protect and cherish my doll." He purred.

Vexen blushed, humiliated once more. He glared at Marluxia. "T-this...isn't some sort of f-favor so I'll repay you in bed, is it?" He snapped. "Because if it is-" Marluxia held up a hand, silencing him immediately.

"No, my sweetheart." He whispered in reply. "It is a gift for my precious beauty. No more, no less. It's always going to be heated in here; these are hothouse flowers that need the warmth to survive." He pointed behind the blood lilies and dahlias to a little bench and table. "There's a place for you to sit and put things down on; you know, books or journals or whatever it is that would please my mate." He smiled. "This is open to you and only you...along with whoever you choose to let in. Not even I can get in unless you give me permission." Marluxia said.

Vexen was quiet for a minute. True, a spot where he could be entirely free from Marluxia sounded tempting...and yet...after all the trouble that the other male had gone through simply to do his best to provide for him, (even if it was because he was his "mate" or his "doll"), Vexen just couldn't deny him.

"It is your garden." Vexen reminded him. "Plus, I don't really know how to take care of plants."

Marluxia smiled. It was so genuine and so painfully filled with gratitude that it almost physically knocked Vexen off of his feet. He could only stare as Marluxia brushed a bit of hair away from his forehead and tucked it neatly behind his ear before kissing his forehead.

"Don't worry." He murmured. "I'm sure you'll be a quick learner."

Vexen managed to give him a small smile. It was nervous, awkward, and shy, but Marluxia, quite frankly, wouldn't have had it any other way.


	66. Even the Odds

(Wow, it went back to angst in like a whole damn chapter. That? That has to be a record. Even for ME. Jeezoo.

Lux/Xal fluff because I love you Kirai also because they most certainly did not get enough fluff. Just because Didi's brothers are dysfunctional doesn't mean they get the spotlight all the time! (Also lololol Didi)

Vexen is honestly really dense and thinks Marluxia is just settling for him. He doesn't want it to happen, so it makes sense that he'd try to dissuade Marluxia. He's...pragmatic, to the point of cynicism. It'll become clearer as the arc goes on.

So, also in records; literally like 50-50 angst to fluff ratio. Mood Whiplash? I AM MOOD WHIPLASH.

There's really nothing for me to snark about. So I'll just mention; if I push the rating up to M, it'll be only for a very few scenes of gore or sexual stuff; I'll note it in the author's notes in case someone doesn't want to read it. Thank you, Fruit, for pointing that out. :3

Vexen, Vexen, Vexen. Psychotic, bitchy, arrogant, and a total brat. Why do I love you so much?

(Answer:_ because_ he is an arrogant brat, honestly. It's just funny to watch him sputter and get all :I at stuff.)

Seriously, hork up a rainbow, this chapter. God.

BBS NOOZ: OH MY GOD JUST FUCKING GET TO LEVEL FIFTY I HATE THIS PLANET.

...You'll probably get more on that tomorrow.

Don't own KH.

Dedicated to everyone who wants it.)

* * *

Xaldin had finally found the time in between missions and "wandering the worlds" with Luxord to make his way down to the lab, and as soon as he walked in, he knew something had gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Lexaeus flashed him a quick glance, mouthing "I'll explain later." (The scientist had come home from his trip with Larxene, but because of Vexen's insistence, had left her upstairs for the time being.) Xaldin sighed, sitting down and opening one of his journals. He had been working on the artificial hearts with Vexen the last time he had found the time to work downstairs, but once again, even with their combined efforts, it had ended in failure.

Vexen appeared to be working on them again, however, and for something that had failed so often, (and often so spectacularly), his brother seemed cheerful.

Too cheerful.

Vexen was fond of throwing fits whenever his work failed; these fits could range in intensity from simply storming around the catacombs, muttering to himself and pretending to be deaf whenever someone tried to talk to him, to turning the castle into what could best be described, (by Xigbar, no less), as "Siberia's second asshole."

More or less, heart or not, Vexen was still a prissy, prideful brat whenever his work went wrong.

Xaldin sighed, chewing on the end of his pencil. It didn't matter; Lexaeus would probably tell him later, and he should enjoy Vexen's good mood while it lasted.

As Vexen practically pranced and skipped around the lab, Xaldin continued taking notes on some of the new strains of Heartless; the last time he had gone to a new world, (he didn't remember the name, sadly, but he was sure Luxord did, and it wouldn't hurt to ask him), he had discovered that when the wyvern-like Heartless that populated that world died in battle, they left bones behind. He was curious to see if it was as a result of interbreeding Heartless and animals, and was hoping to find a bone sample next time he went to the world for analyzation.

Zexion yawned, shooting a glance at Lexaeus as Vexen hummed to himself, perfecting something in his journal before looking up at them all. He was obviously eager to share whatever he'd been working on, a fact that they had to admit worried them all slightly. Vexen's grin had become borderline slasher-mad as he clutched his notes to his chest.

"I think I've just found the way to get rid of Marluxia for good." He said.

Everyone stared at him, too floored to speak. Vexen continued on, unaware of their shock and mistaking their silence for awe. "You see, if we can replace our hearts, this "placebo" will go away, and thus, he won't have a reason to stalk me anymore! Plus I assume it means we'll be able to build new lives and not have to settle for what we have now. All we have to do is keep working on this." He announced, setting his notes down.

Xaldin stood up, footsteps quiet as he walked across the room to where Vexen stood, taking his brother's notes in his hands and looking down at them before tearing them in two, throwing the pieces on the floor in disgust.

"I did not _settle_ for Luxord, Even." He said, and the cold fury in his voice was worse than if he had shouted. "Heart or not, he is my lover. He is my _soulmate. _There is no one else in the world I could ever want, even if I do get my heart back." He narrowed his eyes. "Do you think Marluxia is just _settling _for you, Even? Is that it? Do you honestly believe that Xigbar and Demyx settled for each other simply because there was no one else? Or that Xemnas became Saix's master because it was _convenient?_ Are you _blind? _Because if you honestly think that the only reason we want our hearts back is so that we can distance ourselves from the people we have apparently turned to simply because there are no options left, I suppose I shouldn't call you my _brother _any longer."

Xaldin's voice was as sharp and cold as ice as he stared at Vexen. The two of them faced each other for a long, painful minute.

"Number III. Number V. Number VI." Vexen's voice, if possible, was even icier. "Out."

Xaldin stared back at him, focusing his gaze. "I am your superior, Number IV, and if you think-" Vexen held up a hand and laughed, a harsh, dark, grating bark.

"That doesn't matter to _Marluxia. _And since he is apparently a higher priority than one of the men that _raised you, _I'll do whatever I damn well please. Out. All of you. Now." He ordered.

Xaldin would have protested, but Lexaeus tugged on his arm gently, summoning a portal of darkness for all three of them.

Once they reappeared in the hall, Zexion and Lexaeus looked at each other before turning back to Xaldin, but he was already storming down the hallway, gale-force winds whipping around him as papers skittered across the floor and pictures crashed onto the marble while he screamed for Luxord above the din.

* * *

Luxord yawned, laying back on the bed and sighing in pleasure. He enjoyed laying on Xaldin's side of the bed whenever his rose was away somewhere; it made him feel closer to his lover, and the unique scent of fresh air and the bitter tang of an oncoming storm utterly intoxicated him. He opened one of Xaldin's new books and flipped to the page he had marked; it was a rather esoteric novel about what was either a drug-trip gone horribly wrong or a bunch of lunatics wandering about a city and descending further into madness. Despite the odd subject matter, Xaldin read it with pleasure, (well, he read _everything, _but still), and Luxord was curious to see what the fuss was all about from his lover.

He started violently an instant later, hearing winds roaring and whipping through the hallways as Xaldin screamed his name. The tugging sensation became a harsh yanking as he practically fell off the bed in an attempt to get to the door, wrenching it open just as Xaldin came face to face with him.

The look in his eyes was ferocious and wild, and the danger he knew he was in simply from being around him right now was very, very real. Still, Luxord held out his arms and murmured, "Come in, my rose."

He hadn't been expecting Xaldin to pick him up and throw him on the bed, practically breaking him in two as he pulled him into the tightest hug of his life, desperately pressing his lips against Luxord's own, shoving his tongue into his mouth and whimpering, hips shifting in a desperate effort to get Luxord closer to him. The gambler steadied his breathing and kissed back, completely and utterly confused, but willing to play along until Xaldin had calmed down enough to explain what had happened that would make him act like such a madman.

"Need you." Xaldin moaned, more animal than human at that point. "_Want _you. Mine _forever." _He shuddered, another soft moan escaping his lips as he tried to sit up on shaking legs and lay back, trembling, on top of the bed. He was panting; short, shallow breaths, trying to get his thoughts together as Luxord unzipped his coat, leaving him in a black shirt and pants, climbing up on top of the bed with him and un-braiding his hair with gentle, deft fingers, reaching for the brush on the window sill and leaving it on the bed beside them both for later.

Luxord knew whenever Xaldin was in a mood he enjoyed being petted and played with; the lancer was almost entirely new to physical contact from people other than his family members, and he relished every touch he got from Luxord. The gambler sighed, waiting for Xaldin to shift so he could lay out his hair and begin to brush it for him. Xaldin got the hint as Luxord tapped the side of his face and smirked, and the lancer laid down on his stomach and let Luxord kneel above him as a response.

Luxord ran the brush through gently, separating the strands as Xaldin winced, feeling the sting of a knot caught under the bristles. Luxord kissed the top of his head as an apology before moving on to the next kinky strand of hair.

"All right, my rose." He finally said, breaking the silence. "I'm right here. I'm yours forever. What's the matter?" He asked. Xaldin shuddered under him, unsure of what to say as Luxord began to run the brush through his hair once more.

"V-Vexen s-said I only w-wanted you b-because I didn't have a heart. Th-that I was settling." He said, pain and shock at his brother's betrayal making him stutter and choke on his words. Luxord didn't stop or change pace in his brush strokes; they remained slow and firm as Xaldin tried not to cry. "He thinks that just because he doesn't want to deal with Marluxia that the rest of us are just using our lovers because that's all we can get..." He shook his head.

"He's wrong, though! I didn't settle for you! I think I'm the luckiest man in the whole world for finding you, and no matter what happens, even if I get my heart back and lose it and get it back again a hundred times, I will always want to be with you! You and only you!" He snapped.

Luxord was still quiet, brushing his hair and letting Xaldin close his eyes and relax, the pleasure of being touched and pampered like a beloved kitten overwhelming him. He spent a few minutes in peace before he realized that Luxord still hadn't said a word, even after his outburst. He shifted in his position and looked up at his lover. "Luxord?" He whispered.

It took him a minute to realize it, but Luxord was crying. Xaldin had never, ever seen Luxord even so much as shed a single tear, but he was out and out silently sobbing. Xaldin sat up and hugged him tight, feeling Luxord's arms around him, keeping him safe and steady.

"That's all I needed to hear." He whispered, voice hoarse in Xaldin's ear. "Knowing you care is enough. Anything I say, my rose, would cheapen it."

Xaldin laughed. "I can think of one thing that wouldn't." He murmured. Luxord met his eyes and stroked his hair, shaking his head and sighing in amazement, feeling luckier and happier than he ever had, even when he could still feel the true emotion.

"I love you." He murmured. "And no matter what happens, that will always stand the test of time."

Xaldin grinned, kissing his forehead. "You're so cliche, Luxord." He teased. His lover settled for whacking him gently with the flat of the brush, and as much as he felt bad for admitting it, Xaldin's mock yelp of pain was actually rather amusing.


	67. Paint the Walls

(This chapter has an M rating. Just so you know. First thing I have to tell you, 'cause it's important. It has a LOT to do with rape, so I'm also putting a trigger warning on it. If sexual violence traumatizes you as much as it does me, do NOT read any of the italics. Skip right down to the fluff.

This is two day's updates in one, because I skipped yesterday. Much apologies for that! I had a craft fair run by my mom to attend, and by the time I got home, it was too late to publish.

Shameless plug; go to Kirai-Ninja's profile. (She always reviews, so it's not that hard to click on the 'read reviews' section and go find her.) She wrote a new KH fic, and I can vouch for it being really, really good~ Trust me! :D

Seriously, Lexaeus has done nothing but deal with arrogant brats his entire life. You would be amazed at what that does to a man. ^^; But he's kinda used to it-albeit used to it from his BROTHERS. If Marluxia was really as bad as Ienzo and Even, (no one is, don't worry), he might actually snap. But of course he does not. :D

Also, seriously, Badass Boast of the highest caliber. Lexaeus=badass. I don't care what Nomura says; I don't care what the fandom says. A guy who is built like some sort of cross between a grizzly bear and a red oak that could hold an intelligent conversation as equals with someone like Vexen is badass, no two ways about it.

Also, as for BBS NOOZ: Almost done levelgrinding I swear to god. If I am not level 50 by Sunday, fuck it, I'll go start the F.B. and hope I don't die. The problem is, Squeenix likes their sequential bosses, they do. I? I DO NOT. :T God dammit guys, give a girl a break, wouldja? Or at least a save point between battles!

Right, once again; M RATING FOR THIS CHAPTER. And a trigger warning for rape.

Don't own.

Dedicated to Kirai; good luck on the SATs! :D)

* * *

Larxene was up in her room, examining the buckets of paint. Bright yellow so violently clashing it made her eyes ache, and an electric shade of blue. She chewed her lip in thought, unsure of how she wanted to go about it. For now, she would move everything into the middle of the room like Lexaeus had asked her to do, and cover it all up with the rags he'd given her. He would come back up soon. He had promised. She trusted him.

She stopped in her tracks and realized the knowledge had hit her like the force of a mental truck slamming right into her mind. She shook her head. No. Stupid. He was a man; not a safe man like Marluxia, either. But...but he was...maybe there? Almost? Sort of, kind of, maybe someday-

Lexaeus was coming down the hallway. She could hear him. She had gotten so good at memorizing the way people moved; it helped her predict the sort of man coming after her and how angry he was, how much he would hurt her that night. But Lexaeus didn't walk like that. He wasn't standing there to intimidate her. He wanted-

What? What did he want?

Her...body.

_But he promised he didn't want me. Not for that, anyway. _She thought. The little inner voice that sounded so painfully male snorted with disgust.

_That's what every man says before he shoves your skirts up, you know that. How many men have you fucked by now? Pretty little bitch never learns. _The voice, so filled with hate, sighed with delight.

_Bet he's huge. Bet it hurts and makes your pretty little hole bleed for _hours, _Nobody. Not even losing your heart could keep you from being a slut, let's face it. _Larxene shook her head.

"Fuck off." She murmured with disgust and hatred soaking her words. "That's not why I'm here. I'm here because Marluxia came with me, and Xigbar said we would be safe here, and I didn't want to leave Marluxia alone, and-" The voice cut her off with a snort of laughter.

_There are eleven other men in this castle, honey. What do you think they brought you here for? Eleven men; vicious, deadly, murdering men. Men who have every right to want to hurt you and rape you until you're bleeding from every single hole; you are a snotty, vicious little bitch, and they know it. They brought you here, my dear, so your rotten little pussy could be put in its place. _It snapped. Larxene shook her head.

"N-no." She said. "B-besides, Mar...Mar's a fr-fruit. I know he is." She shot back, trying to smile. The voice got quiet for a minute.

_Then I'll _make _them want you. _I _know what's best for you. _I _know what a little slut you really are. And no matter what I have to do, I will _see to it _that they put you back where you belong; under a man and bleeding, _Relane. It sneered.

Larxene inhaled, not realizing she was crying as something hurtful and rotten began to make her body ache; her chest felt like it was swollen, and blood felt like it was leaking from her nipples, like someone had bitten them again, and oh god her core hurt so goddamn much, there was blood, there was a knife right in between her legs and he wouldn't let her take it out _it hurt make it stop _

_"Larxene._" The voice made her stop in her tracks. She gasped, frantically patting her body down and making sure nothing was really bleeding, and that the pain had only been a dream, a hideous hallucination. She looked up to see Lexaeus standing in the doorway and tensed, unsure of how long he had been watching her.

"How much do you know?" She asked. Lexaeus didn't look away from her gaze as he sat down on the bed.

"How much do I know about what?" He replied. "I can tell you the thirty-seven different ways a man can find his way out of a labyrinth. I know how to construct a coliseum out of nothing more than the earth under my feet. I can tell you all about the behavioral patterns of the Heartless living on every single world that I know of as of now. I know how to converse in tongues forgotten by everyone except the trees and the land beneath my feet. I know how to survive the darkness that should warp and maim a human soul beyond repair. But I do not know what you wish for me to know." He told her.

Larxene hugged herself tight, watching him with calculating, panicked eyes for a long, slow minute. Lexaeus felt like the ground was falling out from underneath him as he watched her, desperate to apologize or beg her forgiveness or slit his throat if that's what she wanted; he would do whatever it took to give her something that would make her happy and make that panic leave her eyes for good.

"You can't know. Not yet. I don't know how to tell you, anyway." She was talking to herself; he would have spoken up, but he knew that this might be the first major insight into her psyche he could get. "No one can tell me how to tell you and I don't know how to explain it to myself because then I would have to use _bad words, _naughty little _bad words _that only _bad girls _use, _bad, naughty girls _who don't love their husbands. And I'm not a bad girl." She murmured.

Lexaeus suddenly felt the urge to be horribly, violently sick. He choked down the bile rising in his throat and looked her in the eyes.

"Larxene. You don't have to say a word." He murmured. "All I need to know is that you want me to be here. That I don't frighten you. You don't even have to tell me yes or no; just nod." His voice got hoarse as he felt his body trembling and pulsing. "_Please._"

She was impassive as she stood in front of him, barely even breathing. Lexaeus bowed his head, unsure of what to do or say.

Then he felt a soft hand against his cheek before he felt Larxene ruffling his hair. He looked up into her eyes just as she gave him a vicious smirk and nodded.

"Of course I do, Lexaeus." She teased. "Who else could help me reach the top of the walls?"

Lexaeus would have laughed if he could have; in that moment, all he could do was nod.

That had been someone else talking. Someone else who had been told she was a bad girl, and that person was still inside Larxene. He had to fix her. He had to heal that person, because otherwise...she would steal his Larxene-his brilliant, vicious, caustic, sarcastic Larxene-away into the night and leave him alone and trembling in the darkness. All he did was nod, standing up and helping her open the paint, watching her hands move and pretending that he was holding them, keeping her safe and warm in his embrace.

* * *

Lexaeus had enjoyed painting whenever he could find the time to work on something other than either his own science experiments or trying to do damage control on one of Even's that had gone horribly wrong. He hadn't been up to par compared to some of the other artists in Radiant Garden, but it was a welcome release from his normal life. (Normal, perhaps, upon thinking that through, was not the right word; he had a typical life, but no one would ever call it normal.) He sighed, spreading out the buckets of paint and standing up, grabbing a paintbrush.

"All right. We should be careful, because even if we're in worn-out clothing, paint has a tendency to make a mess." He said wryly. "And I should think that we are rather against making a mess."

Larxene looked up at him and raised a delicate eyebrow. "We are? Since when?" She said. Lexaeus snorted.

"Since paint leaves stains on black coats." He shot back. Larxene giggled.

"Ooh, snippy. I see." She pointed to the door. "Out, then. Go put on clothes you aren't scared of ruining, Lexaeus." She flicked his nose with a paintbrush. "And you can come back in when you're ready to be a_ real _painter." She teased.

Lexaeus watched her carefully, meeting her gaze even as he knelt down and dipped the brush into the blue paint. As he stood up, he was incredibly solemn, reaching over and daubing blue paint all over her nose. Larxene squealed, pushing the paintbrush away as she started laughing, flicking yellow paint back at him in retaliation. He wrinkled his nose and tried rubbing it off, much to her delight.

"You are such a cheater." He muttered. Her only response was to laugh harder, dipping her fingers into the paint and doodling it all over his arms.

She didn't notice that he had tensed, becoming more of a stone statue than a man as her fingers grazed his skin. He did not move. He barely breathed. She was touching him, and there was no fear in her eyes as she finished covering him with paint, smirking in triumph at her handiwork.

"Looks like I win, Lexaeus." She teased.

His voice was rough as he tried to laugh. "Mm." He murmured. "You most certainly do."

She gave him an odd look as he knelt down, picking up one of the brushes and soaking it in blue paint. He turned around and laid it against the wall, swiping it down the length of the silver walls as she watched him, her eyes never leaving his hands as they moved in graceful arcs across the silver paint, covering it up with ease.

She waited until he put his brush down before she picked her own up and dipped it in the yellow, matching his strokes motion for motion as she ran the brush over the walls, covering whatever was not already blue with bright yellow paint that seemed to shine with the light of a star in the darkness. Lexaeus watched her this time, her delicate hands and lithe legs moving around the room, her whole body tensed like a bird that had just begun to understand the concept of flight. He bit back a sigh of pleasure as she turned around, waving the yellow paint brush at him.

"I'm not gonna be able to reach the top by myself, you know." She said. He got up and dipped the paint brush into the blue paint again, reaching over her yellow strokes and covering the last stretch of wall in blue without a word. She watched him, only moving whenever he missed a spot, covering it up with yellow paint and retreating again to watch him finish covering the walls.

"Done." He said, startling them both with the sound of his voice. She nodded.

"Looks like it." She paused. "We can let it dry before we move the stuff back. I still have to go ask Marluxia for flowers anyway, so we have time." Lexaeus nodded.

"What would you like to do?" He asked. She raised an eyebrow.

"You're gonna stay?" She said, giving him an odd look. He shrugged.

"If you wish." He offered. She raised her eyebrow even higher, a derisive snort escaping her lips.

"Don't you have other things to do?" She asked. It wasn't out of rudeness; she seemed almost disbelieving that he would want to spend time with her. (Frankly, Lexaeus would stay with her until the world ended, if he could, but she couldn't know that quite yet.) He settled for shaking his head.

"Honestly, no. Nothing important. Vexen's storming around the lab and being himself, which not only means that I have lost my last outlet to relax in, apart from the library, but also that the second we step outside this door, the castle is going to resemble a frozen wasteland." He said, unable to keep from being sarcastic on Vexen's part. Larxene bit the inside of her cheek, obviously trying not to laugh as well. He sighed. "So, we could hide in the library, or we could perhaps..." He trailed off, considering something.

It would be prudent to have more contact with Marluxia. If he was Larxene's best friend, then it was only fair that the two of them split time with her. Aside from that, it might help Larxene trust him if she saw that Marluxia did as well. Plus, knowing how the botanist worked might give him something to tell Vexen...at any rate, it was a good idea throughout.

"We can go visit Marluxia." He offered. He couldn't help but feel horribly, violently jealous for a second as her eyes lit up, but he banished the thoughts and comforted himself with the fact that one day, her eyes would shine like that for him. She nodded, pushing him out the door.

"Good idea! Now go get dressed, because if you get paint on his flowers, he'll be pissed." She said cheerfully, slamming the door shut. Lexaeus fought back a groan. Another picky, snobbish, arrogant brat. Because he hadn't had enough of that with Even and Ienzo.

_Wonderful._


	68. Judgement

(LONG CHAPTER IS LONG.

I still have to work on my NaNo, but I'm sporking this god awful terrible oh jesus it's so FUCKING BAD fic. Having far too much fun doing it. ^^; Although I write better at night anyway.

Fezzikaeus is so cuuute. o3o And very very put upon. Oops. ^^;

Also, this is the closest he'll ever get to "meeting the family," so I guess it makes sense he'd be freaking out.

Yeah, the castle can get quite loud. One wonders why Xemnas didn't soundproof the rooms, but I doubt he was thinking people would be having crazy kinky sex in them, so perhaps he just didn't think that far ahead. Ohwell. :3

SEA SALT ICE CREAM IS A METAPHOR FOR GAY SEX. Obviously.

Mix of LarxLex and MarVex fluff this time. :3

Short A/N, huh? I really don't have a lot to say, tbh-this is just cute, simple fluff.

LEXAEUS RAEG. LEXAEUS SMASH! :D

Also, for what it's worth, BBS-facing the F.B. tonight. Don't worry, I should have at least SOME Nooz tomorrow. :3

Don't own KH~

Dedicated to the horrible fic that shall not be named, for it has provided me with many lulz.)

* * *

Lexaeus had dressed in worn-out jeans and a plain white shirt; his own gardening clothing, to be exact. Larxene wore a black shirt and pants; he swallowed, unsure how to tell her how beautiful she looked. Black suited his Larxene.

Thankfully, before he lost his control and told her something she might not be ready to hear, Larxene beckoned to him. "C'mon, Lexy. He's probably still out there." She said. Lexaeus nodded, following her down the stairs and outside, continuing on throughout the pathways from the Hall of Empty Melodies and down the dirt path that marked the way to the garden.

Lexaeus couldn't help but be slightly awkward and uneasy as he looked up at the gate. Certainly Marluxia was strong, but so was he; that wasn't it. It was hoping that Larxene's only remaining friend could accept him as her lover. He _was _her lover, as far as he was concerned; if he had to wait an eternity for her to regard him in the same way, he would. He shook himself out of his thoughts just in time to see Larxene open the gate, beckoning to him as she disappeared down the pathways.

Lexaeus followed after her faithfully; he didn't know the garden as well as she obviously did, and it was only with careful direction that someone could find their way through. Marluxia had planned his garden well; there was beauty in it, but Lexaeus knew full well that Marluxia was not only shallow, vapid beauty. There were poisonous plants scattered among the daisies; gnarled roots of stalwart mahogany trees that had thick rose vines wrapped around them, bristling with thorns. He swallowed, shaking his head and continuing on after Larxene, ever faster now.

She showed no fear; he would have laughed if the garden hadn't made him so damned nervous. She could barely be in the same room as a man without wanting to either murder them or bolt from the room screaming, but being in what would best be described as Satan's personal greenhouse did not faze her at all? He couldn't help but stick close to her as he looked up and saw the vines hanging from the trees. This was new, unfamiliar territory; plus, he could not simply summon Skysplitter for fear of frightening Larxene.

_Besides, idiot, you were a member of Ansem's guard. Being afraid of a garden is rather pathetic, don't you think? _A small voice in his head reminded him. Lexaeus sighed. The voice was true enough; he was getting worked up over something silly. Marluxia might be possessive and perhaps not a man you would cross, but Larxene trusted him. He had nothing to fear.

It took him a minute to realize that Larxene had turned back to look at him. It was only when she flicked his forehead that he jumped, meeting her eyes. She grinned. "C'mon, lummox, are you just going to stand there all day? It's the next gate up that way, see?" She pointed to a small, ivy-laden gate in the distance. Lexaeus shook himself out of his stupor and nodded, meekly following her as she seemed to brighten with enthusiasm.

"Hey! Fairy boy! Open up!" She yelled, banging on the iron bars of the gate. Lexaeus bit back a snort of amusement as he heard the vines chittering and grumbling to one another, annoyed at having been woken up from their normal slumber.

It only took a minute, but Lexaeus could already feel his palms sweating as Marluxia opened the gate. He stood in the threshold like nothing was wrong, but their eyes had met, and Lexaeus knew full well he was being judged from this moment on until he had made sure he was no threat to Larxene. The nymph herself, of course, was oblivious. "Marly, this is Lexaeus. I think you two met, but we finished painting my room, so we came down to see if we could help. Are you busy?" She asked. Marluxia shook his head, and Lexaeus realized with an amused sort of horror that he had been toting Graceful Dahlia the entire time without him noticing.

"I'm not busy at all." He replied. "Come in, both of you. I'm sure there's leftover cake and whatever else I can scrounge up from the lunch Vexen and I had. Did you eat?" He asked. It was politeness, pure small talk, but Lexaeus felt like he was going to scream. Fortunately, Larxene did most of the talking for him.

"Nah, we were really busy. We stopped off in Twilight Town to buy some sea-salt ice cream, though, because everyone in this place eats the damn things like they're going out of style, you know? Personally, I think they're okay, but I don't see what all the fucking fuss is about. Maybe it's a guy thing." She mused. Marluxia tried not to laugh.

"Mmhm. Because popsicles with a distinctly 'salty-sweet' tang are definitely a guy thing." He replied. Larxene snorted.

"Well, around here they are. Just how many people here are fruits, anyways?" She grinned. "Not that it's a bad thing, mind you, but god, no wonder I'm the only girl around here. No other girl could stand the endless sausage-fencing fest." She muttered. Marluxia, to his credit, did not collapse in giggles.

"Larxene, as for relationships...Xigbar and Demyx are a couple, along with Luxord and Xaldin. Xemnas and Saix...well..." Lexaeus trailed off. "Just sit at the dinner table across from the both of them and Axel; you'll see what I mean." It was the first thing he had said in the presence of both of them, and he was already slightly apprehensive about his current situation. Marluxia quirked an eyebrow.

"And as for Vexen and I?" He murmured. His voice was deceptively gentle and quiet, but even Larxene noticed something in the air had shifted. Lexaeus stood his ground and simply shrugged.

"I was referring only to relationships that have...shall we say, consummated their mutual affection for each other. Not to exclude you and Vexen, but...well, to put it into Larxene's terms, I don't think there's been any..." He trailed off, realizing the two of them were both biting their lips in an attempt not to laugh, looking up at him like two mischievous schoolgirls. He groaned. "You understand my point."

Marluxia actually laughed. "Mm. Fair enough. Although I don't want to know how you know they have "consummated their mutual affection for each other."' He teased. Lexaeus rolled his eyes.

"Braig was never one for modesty." He muttered. Larxene put her knuckle in her mouth and bit down, trying not to laugh as Marluxia's eyebrows reached up into his hairline.

"...And as for Xaldin?" He said, unsure if he really wanted an answer. Lexaeus winced.

"I suppose when it's your first time, you're...enthusiastic, to put it politely." He replied. Marluxia nodded, and to his credit, did not laugh until the three of them had sat down and they could all could properly laugh until their sides ached.

Lexaeus had to admit that he felt far more comfortable around Marluxia now. The botanist was polite, intelligent, and levelheaded without being as snotty as he had worried he would be. (Lexaeus had spent far too much time around far too many smart-aleck wiseasses for his own good, frankly.) As much as Larxene obviously being so relaxed and pleased at being around him, Lexaeus had still been worried that she would shun him in favor of spending the entire time with Marluxia. His fears, thankfully, were allayed; while it was true that Larxene was far more comfortable being closer to Marluxia, she made sure that he could keep up with their conversations, stopping to explain if they discussed some sort of obscure musical or long-dead actor. Even so, between the two of them having a rapid-fire discussion, Lexaeus really had just given up on making sense of some of it.

"Hey, Lexaeus, is Vexen really as bitchy as he sounds?" Larxene asked, literally doing a complete 360 on the current conversation.

Marluxia looked like she had just socked him in the face, and Lexaeus was sure his expression mirrored the other man's own. He sighed, trying to think of the best way to explain his brother without telling her that honestly, sometimes, he really was that bad.

"Not always." He said, carefully choosing his words. "The thing is, Vexen is used to people being driven away by a simple glare and perhaps a snide comment or two." He shook his head. "You are far more persistent than any other human being has ever been, and that has basically turned him into a cornered cat. He's all bark and no bite most of the time, but when he _does _bite, it's not very pretty." He winced. Marluxia nodded, carefully considering his words.

"Is he honestly disgusted by me?" He asked. "Even I can't decipher that man. He's the master of mixed signals. And..." Marluxia shook his head. "I don't know, Lexaeus. I just want to _protect him. _Keep him _safe. _He's _mine. All mine. _He's my doll, and I _want him." _Something feral and possessive had taken over him as his eyes narrowed. Lexaeus stood his ground, shaking his head.

"I don't think he is disgusted by you, Marluxia." He said, voice calm and soothing in contrast to the vicious energy almost visibly emanating from Marluxia, "but I do think, however, that he is hesitant to trust you because you are so dominant. You're scaring him." He said, far more honest than he had initially intended. He didn't know where the words had come from, but they were true.

Marluxia shook his head. "Well, I'm not claiming him as mine to frighten or intimidate him. He raised you all, didn't he? He was the oldest. It was his responsibility to watch over all of you, I know it was. Don't you think that after god-knows-how many years of doing nothing but taking care of others, he deserves to be taken care of instead?" He murmured. His voice was gentle, but the possessive undercurrent remained. Lexaeus nodded.

"I do, trust me. Even has been through a lot. He really and truly does deserve someone taking care of him. However, pushing forward and assuming he believes that obviously has not been working for you." Lexaeus sighed. "I can barely get the man to go to bed once a day and I've known him for around fifteen years. Whether or not the two of you are 'soulmates,' so to speak, he's not going to listen to you. Especially since he's rejecting that connection as of right now." He finished. Marluxia nodded.

"So what I need to do is convince him he needs to be taken care of first." He murmured. Lexaeus nodded.

"Mm. Don't overdo it, however. Start small. Just...take _good _care of him, all right?" He replied. Marluxia nodded.

"I wouldn't dare to even dream of doing anything less." He whispered. Larxene yawned, stretching out on the grass.

"So basically he's an overworked, overbearing, arrogant and oblivious smart-aleck." She muttered. Lexaeus fought a small laugh down as Marluxia glared at her.

"He totally is not! He is an intelligent, cultured, prideful gentleman who deserves all of the praise he gets." He snapped. Larxene rolled her eyes.

"Tsh, whatever, fairy-boy. I'm going to go take care of the moonflowers, okay? Yell if you need me." She said, standing up and stretching before darting off into the rows of pale cream flowers. They both watched her go for a minute.

"She was screaming." Lexaeus said, breaking the silence. "She was screaming and crying, and begged me not to hurt her." He looked Marluxia in the eyes and saw concern reflected in them; he wondered why for an instant before realizing that he was crying now, hot tears making his eyes sting. "She saw me as a threat. I _love her, _and to her, I was only an enemy."

Marluxia was quiet as he continued, letting the larger man ramble. "She stabbed me. I don't blame her; I had tripped and fallen after she had lashed out at me, and I had landed on top of her. That's not why I was so unsettled; I have been injured before. It wasn't that." He looked at Marluxia, and the desperation in the other man's gaze gave Marluxia pause. "What happened to her, Marluxia? What made her hurt like this?"

Marluxia wanted to give the other man an answer; after what he had just been kind enough to share with him about Vexen, he felt that Lexaeus deserved the same. And yet...he sighed. "I have nothing to give you, Lexaeus. I'm afraid I know about as much as you do as to why she is so traumatized." He winced. "Although to be frank, I believe I could haphazard a guess. Can't you?" He murmured.

A look of horror spread across the other's face, and Marluxia almost immediately wanted to take his words back. Lexaeus shook his head, clenching the ground underneath him.

"No." He murmured. "No one would dare touch her." He felt the ground rumbling underneath them both in response to his rage. "_No one would dare." _

Briefly, Marluxia watched the look of pure and utter inhuman possessive, righteous fury cross Lexaeus' face, and wondered, _Do I really look like that when I talk about Vexen? _

The elder was beyond angered. Marluxia knew full well he was dangerous in that moment, and thus attempted to diffuse the situation as quickly as possible.

"Lexaeus, this has to have happened far before she met me, or you, or any one of us. This was before we could protect her. She was alone." He murmured. "She was suffering alone, and we cannot go back in time and fix that. All we can do is try to pick up the pieces and fix what someone else broke." His eyes narrowed. "You believe that she's worth that effort, don't you?" He whispered. Lexaeus surprised him with a harsh sob of both amusement and pain.

"More than worth it." He replied. "She is worth my very life."

Marluxia nodded, unsure of what to say to such devotion. At least he could be open about his affection for Vexen; Lexaeus had to keep all of his urges locked away because of what someone had done to her, long before they had come into her life. He sighed.

"Then I understand. And I suppose I give you my blessing." He murmured, giving him a quick smirk. "You are a good man, it seems."

He wasn't exactly expecting Lexaeus to practically faint and sigh with relief, collapsing on the ground and groaning. "Oh thank _god." _He muttered.

"Today has just been one stressful incident after another for you, hasn't it?" Marluxia asked, trying to fight down a smile. Lexaeus sighed, rolling his eyes.

"You have no idea." He muttered.


	69. Big Sister

(TORTURING DIDI IS FUN :D

Yeah. So, there's, uh, that.

I'm kinda heartbroken right now. Note to self; if an article says "trigger warning for sexual violence against children," DON'T FUCKING READ THE GODDAMN ARTICLE.

So yeah. I'll try to snark, though.

The image of Marluxia literally dragging Vexen every step of the way and making him sit on his lap amuses me far too much. Vexen's just not as touchy-feely as Marluxia, whereas Marluxia is pretty much along the lines of, "if I'm not so close I could stick out my tongue and lick your face, there's something wrong here," so that...makes things funny/interesting. I report, you decide.

I love how willing the boys are to throw Vexen under the bus. At least Xemnas made a token effort. Everyone else just was like, "oh what the hell, Vexen had it coming."

That giant robot, sadly, had to get repossessed, because, well, _goddamn. _Thankfully, however, the robot was put down humanely, and not like those fucking singing cars in the Brave Little Toaster. Man, fuck that movie, it gave me a crippling fear of throwing out adorable household objects. Coupled with Toy Story, I'm pretty sure I made my parents' lives hell. ^^;

But yes, the unicorn population in Radiant Garden exploded after that little incident. I like to think Braig went hunting very often that year. ^^;

AND THAT IS WHY THERE ARE NO UNICORNS LEFT, CHILDREN. BRAIG MURDERED THEM ALL AND TOOK THEIR PELTS HOME TO FORM FASHIONABLE LEATHER JACKETS.

Braig one, childhood innocence and purity, zero.

I still believe in unicorns though. ONE DAY.

Also, I love how Marluxia is totally willing to use Xemnas to make his own ends work. CANON HOORAY oh shush what the fuck are you expecting at this point, not even canon is this gay.

A puzzle cursed by Satan himself? Looks like someone was playing Tetris on hard mode. xD

(Oh god the image of Lexaeus playing Tetris just made me lol so hard I just made my cat fall out of the windowsill. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.)

On the bright side, I have another pathetic nerd to play Pokemon Puzzle League with. Hooray?

If Larxene and Lexaeus get married, that is going to be one hell of a wedding. At least they wouldn't have sex on the altar, like some people I won't mention MARLUXIA because, most likely, Larxene would force poor Didi to be the best man and shoot him wicked glares the entire time. And wear high heeled stiletto boots.

I would attend that wedding so hard you don't even know.

Plugging Kirai's fic again. Please go read~ Seriously, I beta'd that instead of studying for my geometry test. GO AND MAKE MY SUFFERING WORTH IT. :D

Don't own KH whatever blah blah blah

Dedicated to Disney World. Next time I go, I want it to be better.)

* * *

The day passed quickly after that. The three of them had stayed out in the garden until Lexaeus finally convinced them both to come inside for dinner. It was only once they reached the door that Lexaeus realized it would be the first time the two of them had been in the same room as the rest of the Organization.

Today really just had been one stressful incident after another. Lexaeus sighed, shook his head, and opened the door. He was already fully prepared to face the chaos that was a typical dinner, but this was just too much, even for him.

He took quick note of the surroundings; Xaldin had made dinner again, and while there was enough to feed a small army, that also meant the table itself was slightly cramped. Thankfully, Zexion had saved him a seat-however, Larxene and Marluxia had nowhere to go. Lexaeus winced.

In a perfect world, he would have gladly settled Larxene in on his lap, and Marluxia would have been more than happy to have Vexen sit on his, Lexaeus was certain. But a perfect world was not his world, and so he tried in vain to fit them in at the table.

It was like playing one of his puzzles after it had been cursed by Satan himself; he realized Larxene was getting more and more agitated as she was in such a vulnerable state and surrounded by so many men, and Marluxia was reacting to her distress almost unconsciously, putting everyone else on edge, and he really just could not deal with this right now. Lexaeus groaned.

He was getting far too old for this. He really and truly was.

With a small sigh, he gave Larxene his seat; Marluxia could fit in next to her, which prevented her having another breakdown. (He noted that she didn't seem to consider Zexion a threat; was it because he was noticeably younger than her? It had to be-he would have to analyze that further...) He would have kept looking for a seat, except Xaldin literally physically yanked him into the seat next to him.

"Dilan, are you all right?" He whispered. His brother looked like he had just been confronted by a small zombie horde, and was glaring across the table as if he was staring down a starving lion.

"No." He hissed back. "You stay here_. You're protection._" Lexaeus felt his eyebrows rising into his hairline, and he resisted the urge to put his head into his hands and scream.

"From what, Xaldin? What could possibly threaten you that you could not handle?" He snapped. He hated to get cross at his baby brother, but given the circumstances, he figured he could be forgiven by whatever god punished snappy older siblings. Xaldin pointed across the table, straight at Larxene.

"_That." _He snarled.

Lexaeus really felt like he needed a drink at this point. And if that was not an option, murder would most likely be; no jury in the entire multiverse would convict him after today. He sighed, trying to school his thoughts.

"Larxene?" He murmured. Xaldin nodded.

"Lexaeus, she...god, I can't even say it." He muttered. Lexaeus knew what he meant, and winced in sympathy. He kissed the top of Xaldin's head and sighed.

"She's been traumatized quite a bit, Dilan. Marluxia and I believe she might have been raped. So don't take it personally, all right?" He asked. Xaldin rolled his eyes.

"Fine. I still say she has it out for me, and you're not getting me to go near her for love or goddamned money." He snapped. Lexaeus tried not to laugh.

"What about when she becomes part of the family, Dilan?" He murmured.

He felt like a terrible person for saying it, but the look on Xaldin's face had been far too perfect to pass up seeing. It almost made the entire day's events worth it. (Almost.)

"Y-you can't actually be-" He was cut off as Lexaeus smiled.

"Mm-hmm. Meet your new big sister, Didi." He purred.

No one really understood why Xaldin suddenly disappeared into the darkness with a shriek of absolute terror, but considering it was barely even on their list of "Top Ten Weirdest Incidents As A Result of Shoving a Bunch of Crazy People into a Kitchen and Giving them Sugar," the conversation continued on as normal.

* * *

Luxord had gone after Xaldin to comfort him, (after having been told about the entire situation, Luxord was trying to hide giggles even as he left), and as much as Lexaeus felt bad for admitting it, at least he had more room. Plus, the table was slightly quieter.

Larxene was cheerful, actually holding a conversation with Zexion, (Lexaeus figured Zexion had used the fact that he was his little brother to his advantage), but there was something off about Marluxia's expression. He met the other man's eyes and raised his eyebrow in a silent question.

"Does Vexen know it's dinner time?" Marluxia asked. His voice was polite and quiet, but everyone heard that note of possessiveness in and paused, curious to see what would happen. Zexion snorted with amused contempt.

"Yes, most likely. I doubt Even cares, however." He teased. "I don't think I can even remember the last time he came upstairs for dinner, Marluxia." He said, getting serious. (Personally, he was only doing it to see how amusing the fallout would be; he was only human, after all, and two bitch fits at once would suit him just fine.)

Marluxia was very quiet for a minute. Then he turned to Xemnas with a small, thin smile across his features.

"_Lord Superior,_" he purred, voice soft and gentle, "I believe you could give the order for Vexen to come upstairs, could you not?"

Xemnas knew full well that Marluxia had established a link with his brother. Even then, as much he didn't enjoy the thought of Vexen missing out on dinner yet again, he didn't really want to give Marluxia the opening; he didn't think Vexen was ready. He sighed, shrugging.

"Indeed I could. However, I doubt that he would listen, even then. I would more than likely be in for a lecture along the lines of 'I'm your older brother, Xehanort, and I cannot believe you would even think of asking me to desert my work for something so simple, et cetera." He said wryly. Marluxia couldn't help but crack a smile at the other man's comment.

"Fair enough. If you could, however, get him to see that coming up for breakfast tomorrow would be in his best interests, I would be most appreciative." He murmured. There was a hint of a challenge in his voice; he didn't like the implication that not even Xemnas could control him, but there was nothing he could do about it. With a small groan, he buried his hands in his hair. "Is he always this frustrating?" He muttered.

Zexion rolled his eyes. "You have no idea." He replied, accepting the cup of coffee that Lexaeus handed him with a small smile. Marluxia raised an eyebrow.

"Do enlighten me, Zexion. Is it really that...interesting...to spend time with him?" He asked.

All four of the remaining Apprentices at the table gave each other wicked grins. Marluxia tried not to laugh as they all said in unison, "_Yes." _

Demyx and Saix gave their lovers an odd look, confused by the way they seemed so amused at what Vexen had apparently done. "Xiggy, is he that bad? What happened?" He asked. Saix shook his head.

"It can't be that bad. When I conversed with him, he seemed...intelligent and polite, if a bit sardonic." He murmured. "I'm sure whatever it is is simple enough, my master."

Xemnas was too busy snorting in derision to reply, so Xigbar ruffled Demyx's hair and kissed the top of his head.

"Well, you see, kitten, what happened can range from anything including cyborg crocodiles, raising Ienzo's hamster from the grave, vivisecting adorable bunnies-and then trying to put them back _together-_to, oh, causing an explosion in the unicorn population and building a giant robot tasked with the sole purpose of _going to the store and getting him chocolate." _He paused. "Oh, and the noodles. Those goddamn noodles."

"Among other things." Xemnas added, before burying his head between his arms and stifling giggles again, as Saix shot him an odd look.

"Well, yes. Among other things." Xigbar acknowledged. At Demyx's horrified stare, Xigbar settled for giving him a quick kiss. "Even had a lot of time on his hands, Demyx."

As the Apprentices traded stories around the table, Marluxia tilted his head, listening intently. He may not have ever been a scientist, but he was observant and quick-witted. He was going to find out everything he needed to know about Vexen, and he was going to use it to his advantage. He would have his doll in his arms, sighing and purring with ecstasy, no matter what he had to do to get him there.

It was around midnight when Zexion finally checked the clock. He started slightly in shock, whispering something into Lexaeus' ear. The elder man sighed, ruffling his hair and murmuring, "Xeh, as amusing as this may be, it's a bit late. Perhaps we should all retire to bed, hmm?" He said. Xemnas nodded, beckoning to Saix.

"Fair enough." He replied, leaving the kitchen with Saix following loyally after and Axel focusing a vicious death glare at his retreating back. Lexaeus rolled his eyes, watching as Xigbar picked Demyx up and cradled him in his arms, disappearing into the darkness as Demyx giggled, (probably already anticipating what Xigbar most likely had in mind...), and with a start, he realized that Zexion had disappeared, sending a small smirk in his direction as Lexaeus realized he was alone with Marluxia and Larxene.

"So, Marluxia," Lexaeus offered, trying to figure out if he was treading on safe ground by now, "did you come up with any solutions to wooing Vexen?" He asked. Marluxia gave him a cheshire grin, one that both unnerved and amused Lexaeus.

"A few, Lexaeus." He replied. "However, I need you to ensure that Vexen will be awake for breakfast tomorrow. Can you do that?" He asked. Lexaeus nodded, and Marluxia sighed with relief. "Wonderful. We should all retire...except, unfortunately, there's some business I must take care of. Lexaeus, can you escort Larxene back to her room for me, if you please?" He said.

Lexaeus wasn't sure if he should kick or kiss the man. He sighed. "As you wish."

He held his hand out to Larxene, before realizing she wouldn't really want to be touched. To both his and Marluxia's surprise, she grabbed his hand after only a second of hesitation, and let him pull her up gently from her chair. He let her lead him out of the dining room and down the hall, still stunned she had let him touch her.

The only thought he had as they walked down the hallway, still hand in hand, was how delicate and gentle her hand was, and how desperately he had been waiting for that moment to come.


	70. One Hundred and Ten Sunshowers

(Vexen is pretty much bordering on an eating disorder at this point, isn't he...they're not fun. Trust me.

Also Marluxia god dammit way to ruin the kitchen. He cooks like I do, though; I leave behind a small tornado of mess, but I make a ton of yummy stuff. :3 IT IS WORTH IT. EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE DAMMIT.

BBS NOOZ: I beat the Trinity Armor in the Mirage Arena, so I'm like at this point, eff it, FINAL BOSS TIME. I have a few more exp points until I'm level 50, and then, SHIT GONNA GO DOWNNN.

Am I the only one who finds it depressing that Terra could've found Vanitas if he'd just stuck with Ven and Aqua? No? GOOD. God, fuck that game, it is depressing.

Also aww Marluxia, SPEECHTIME obviously. EVERYONE LOVES A BREAKFAST SERMON.

...Breakfast Sermon is a really good band name. FTR.

Okay, for once, short A/N. ^^; I'm boring.

OH GOD I GOT RICKROLLED BY THE RADIO TODAY. GOD DAMMIT.

And there's that, too. ^^;

Sorry about no updates; school and life. :( Please forgive me! I hope this chapter makes up for it. :3

Don't own.

Dedicated tooooo Kirai for updating, and Snowy too, for that matter. o3o)

* * *

Marluxia watched them go, sighing with a mixture of pleasure and slight resentment. As much as he enjoyed seeing Larxene happy, and as much as their relationship was still rather rocky, he envied them for being, at least, mutually affectionate in some way. He was left to scrabble for at least a few scraps of affection, and no matter what he did, Vexen just seemed to spurn it all, time and again...

He swallowed. _No. Don't think about it, you'll only hurt yourself. You have work to do. _

He nodded, acknowledging his own thoughts. He had to head down to the lab; there was something he wanted to check. He stifled a yawn, leaving the dining room behind and heading downstairs and opening the door that led to the spiral staircase, walking down it as quietly as possible so as not to disturb Vexen.

He was in luck; the scientist was in his room, most likely reading. He had the lab to himself, and as long as he was careful, he could make it out quickly and quietly without Vexen knowing that he had been there.

He took off his boots and placed them on the steps; no sense in having more noise than necessary. He crept across the room and scanned the file drawers, looking intently for the one file he had to find. Biology, journals, sketchbooks-medical records! Marluxia took the file out with a soft smirk of triumph, opening it quietly and leafing through the contents until he found Vexen's notes.

"_Height; 6 feet, weight..." _Marluxia skimmed the next section and almost gave away his presence with a scream.

One hundred and ten pounds. His doll was _one hundred and ten pounds. _

He knew full well he couldn't simply storm into Vexen's room right now and force him to eat, but oh, the rage roaring and searing within him disagreed vehemently. His beautiful little sweetheart had been starving himself to death, and no one had done a thing?

Marluxia crumpled the paper in his fist and stormed up the steps, no longer caring if Vexen heard him. He was going to fix that. One way or another, he was going to protect his sweetheart and make sure he was healthy and safe. It was his privilege; it was his_ right._

"I won't let this go on any longer, Vexen." He murmured. "You are going to be taken care of, my doll. I am going to take good care of you. I promise."

He couldn't help but fall asleep pleased, already planning out his next idea to make sure his Vexen was eating properly. Tomorrow was going to be _very_ interesting.

* * *

Vexen knew something was wrong the second he left his room and found Zexion and Lexaeus giving him wicked Cheshire grins. The two of them were up far too early, and those _smiles.._.they said nothing good about the day to come_. _He sighed. "Good morning, Lexaeus; morning, Zexion. Is something the matter?" He asked. Zexion bit back a giggle.

"Nooo." He said cheerfully. "Nothing's wrong, Vexen. We came down to get you for breakfast, that's all!" Vexen raised an eyebrow.

"Is there a reason I need to eat breakfast?" He asked. Lexaeus and Zexion looked at each other and rolled their eyes. He sighed, not needing an answer from either of them. "All right, fair enough. I suppose I should eat today. Let's just go." He muttered, climbing the steps and trying to ignore the laughing he heard from behind him as the other two men climbed the steps.

The first thing Zexion noticed was that the upper floors of the castle smelled absolutely _delicious. _Sweet and warm and sugary and wonderful...it was almost too good to be true. He closed his eyes, making his way to the kitchen behind Vexen and Lexaeus on his sense of smell alone.

Vexen was starting to wake up and fully realize that in retrospect, refusing to come upstairs would have probably been a wise idea. However, with Zexion practically nipping at his heels like a sheepdog and Lexaeus right in front of him, Vexen had nowhere to go. He bit back a groan of frustration and kept going, following them both into the kitchen and opening the door.

Zexion and Lexaeus had formed at least an initial inkling of what Marluxia had been planning, but once they actually _saw _the mad lengths the botanist had gone to, they were actually stunned into complete and utter silence.

There was batter splattered across the floor like blood at a particularly gruesome crime scene; they were literally walking on eggshells as they stepped over the threshold, and flour coated the table in a ghostly pallor. The stove was hissing, and butter crackled and fizzled in the pan as Marluxia flipped the bacon, throwing more chocolate chips into the pancakes and adding strawberries and heavy cream to one of the bowls.

Vexen stared, shaking his head in horror. "Marl-" He tried to protest, but at the mere sound of his voice, Marluxia had turned around and pounced.

"Hello." He said, voice clipped and cool. "I saved a seat for you. Sit, Vexen. I i_nsist_." He purred. Vexen narrowed his eyes and snarled, looking for all the world like a cornered cat.

"You can't just order me around like that, Marluxia, I-"

"_Now." _Marluxia said. It wasn't loud or angry, but that tone of voice left no room for disobedience or argument. Vexen had no choice but to sit down at the table. Marluxia cooed, pleased.

"Good. Well, I made your coffee; hazelnut cream with three sugars, boiling hot, right? That's how Xigbar said you liked it." He purred. Vexen looked away, focusing the power of his glare upon the table. Marluxia nodded. "That's a yes. Wonderful, then! Here, drink up. I should have the strawberries and bananas mixed into the heavy cream in a minute, the recipe's not that hard to prepare..."

Vexen looked up at him with a mixture of shock and confusion written across his face.

"Number XI, what do you think you're doing?" He finally snapped. "You turned the kitchen into-into _this-_and now you're prancing around like you're the king of the universe and I'm just your pet! Why on earth would you do something this idiotic, especially considering that I never said I wanted-"

"One hundred and ten pounds." Marluxia said quietly, cutting Vexen off mid-spiel. Zexion and Lexaeus cringed as Vexen froze in his seat. The whole castle was in for a knock-down drag-out fight now...

The two other Apprentices disappeared to go get the others. (Presumably to help, but watching the spectacle was always a nice little bonus.) Vexen was left alone with Marluxia, and Marluxia was not particularly happy at the moment.

"I checked the records, Vexen." He murmured. Vexen narrowed his eyes, unwilling to sit and get lectured like a child by _Marluxia,_ of all people!

"You had absolutely no right to go down into _my lab _and start rifling through my things just to find things to blackmail me with, Number XI! That is out and out insubordination, and if you think-" He caught the expression on Marluxia's face and fell silent. Something in his face had gone beyond concerned or doting, and right into...possessiveness? It was something Vexen couldn't put a name to, and that unnerved him.

"I think I'm watching my mate starve himself to death. That's what I think, Vexen, my dear. And I believe that this time, my hypothesis is correct, and not yours." He murmured. The tone of his voice had not become harsh, and his stance and bearing had not changed, but the sheer authority in his voice spoke volumes.

"So there's a very simple way I can fix that. As of now, you are going to be attending every meal; breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You will eat at the table, and you are not allowed to simply hide away in your lab while everyone is eating, either. You are going to be supervised by either myself or Lexaeus, Zexion, Xaldin, Xigbar, or Xemnas to make sure you eat properly." He ordered. Vexen snarled at him.

"Who do you think you are to be ordering me around like this, Number XI! I don't know what possessed you to think that you have the right to control my life, but-" Marluxia sighed, leaning in and pressing a finger to the elder man's lips. He wouldn't admit it out loud, but he was pleased by the blush that spilled across Vexen's cheeks in response.

"Well, the way I see it, if you want to continue using my herbs for your experiments, I can use my advantage over your progress to make sure you're eating well. And I'm most certain your brothers will back me up on this, won't they?" He purred. Vexen watched him, hatred reflected in his eyes. Marluxia sighed, refusing to let the vicious glare wound him.

"Vexen. Please." He said, and the sincerity in his voice actually stunned Vexen enough for him to continue his silence and watch. "I am watching you starve yourself to death. That is a unique kind of pain that even as a Nobody, I can feel with each and every atom within me, singing with agony and fear. Please. Just eat." He whispered.

Vexen looked away, unsure of what to say. Marluxia just continued on, uncaring if Vexen was listening as he rambled. "I watch you just sit down in your lab, surviving on cups of coffee and I just think, "when was the last time you saw the sunshine?" He mused. Vexen made to interrupt, but Marluxia held up a hand, silencing his rebuttal. "I mean really saw it, Vexen, not the cheap imitations I have in my garden. When was the last time you really sat down and enjoyed dinner with your family? Is locking yourself in the lab easier?"

Vexen figured he shouldn't respond, but he had to nod at the last statement, hoping the truth would make Marluxia go away and let him work in darkness and in peace. Marluxia sighed. "I thought so. Well, Vexen, some things in life aren't easy. And sometimes...crossing lines you've drawn, especially within yourself, can hurt like nobody's business. But they're always worth crossing." He murmured. "There's always something so much better that's waiting just past the lines, you know?"

Vexen stared at him, confused. Marluxia shrugged, ruffling his hair. "I mean it. Just because something's easy doesn't mean it's good for you. You're coming upstairs now, and that's final." He said cheerfully. Vexen could have strangled him just as cheerfully, but wisely kept his silence. "Now eat, sweetie, I have more things cooking."

Oh yes. Strangled him _very _cheerfully.


	71. Court Your Dolly

(Saix is only this innocent due to Rule of Funny. I think he at least knows by now how humans neck in the hallways. Thanks, Xigbar. Truly, you teach us all.

WELL THIS KIND OF TURNED INTO SEMI PORN and so does the next chapter for that matter. Why this is so hot, I don't know, but NONE OF YOUR REVIEWS HELPED. NOW I HAVE ANOTHER FETISH BECAUSE OF THIS FIC. GAAAH.

Just wait, once I get past one hundred chapters, we're ALL fucked.

At least this turned other people on and I'm not the only sick, horrible person into this. :D

Vexen as a loli would be so cute. Gothloli maybe, but just plain old pale pinks and white lolita with ruffles and silks and ribbons YES PLEASE. :D

Also random; I might be doing every other day for a bit; I like being at least one chapter ahead of my updates, and since I've been updating daily so often, that's kind of harder to do. Never fear, that won't be permanent, and is just until I have more things under control.

Poor Saix. You try so hard for SCIENCE! but no one understands your suffering. YOUR SACRIFICE FOR GREAT JUSTICE WILL NOT BE IN VAIN.

And no, Xemnas does not like mornings. Saix's dreams are probably screaming at him "THERE IS A REALLY REALLY HOT GUY WITH A FUCKING RIPPED BOD IN BED NEXT TO YOU SO WAKE THE FUCK UP AND SEX HIM GOOD RIGHT NOW" but since he never remembers his dreams apparently or thinks sex is like some sort of brand of coffee, fuck if I know, Xemnas has balls the color of the sky by about, oh, say, after a week of Saix sleeping in his bed.

Every problem in Kingdom Hearts? Xemnas had to deal with the biggest case of blue balls ever. All of the horrific tragedies? Blue balls. All of the tear jerking horrors? Blue, blue balls. Every last bad thing that happens in that fucking series that seems to be built out of making bad things happen to people you like?

BLUE. FUCKING. BALLS.

You're welcome.

Don't own KH. After that little rant above, I'm kinda glad I don't.

Dedicated to all of you for giving me those nice wonderful reviews last chapter. :3)

* * *

The others came down for breakfast, and, having been told of the incident already courtesy of Zexion and Lexaeus, they were at least somewhat less stunned by the debacle than they would have been. There was really no way to prepare for what looked like a tornado courtesy of the world's largest bakery hitting the kitchen, however, and so there were raised eyebrows among everyone, a few mutters, and quite a few wicked glances in Vexen's direction.

The scientist himself was looking down at the table and gripping the folds of his pajama pants, pretending the world didn't exist as of right then and there. Marluxia had taken away the book he had tried to bring to the table, and when he had tried, (quite reasonably, he would add!) to protest, Marluxia simply shot him a _look, _and the stupid connection in his chest that he had never wanted in the first place began to pulse and throb, almost like a soft purr. He let Marluxia take it and put it on the shelf, although not without directing a _very _acidic glare in his direction.

Demyx was the only one who seemed cheerfully unaware of the bitter undercurrent at the table, (mostly from Vexen's bad temper, but Marluxia's dead set sights on making him eat certainly didn't lighten the mood any), and he happily extolled the upsides of Marluxia's cooking. He was happy; therefore, Xigbar was happy. Xaldin had managed to sit by Xigbar and far away from Larxene, which made him pretty happy as well. Lexaeus and Zexion were both, if not brimming with good cheer, at least at peace and content, and Xemnas...well, Xemnas was never a morning person. (Marluxia had to wonder what it was that made him so grumpy and irascible in the mornings, considering Saix always came down with a serene glow about his person.)

He sighed peacefully, looking around the room and surveying the rest of the Organization. All right, everyone seemed to be at ease with each other, (even Larxene, who had actually settled against Lexaeus' shoulder, probably assuming it was another chair; Lexaeus was certainly rigid and stalwart enough.) The plates looked like they were either the site of some sort of horrible massacre-slash-holocaust of muffins and other assorted pastries; the coffee had become a regular boggy swamp, murky and beige depths drowning innocent crumbs of bagels and clumps of frosting. It was a delicious, delicious slaughterhouse, and Marluxia was glad he had orchestrated the wanton violence against breakfast food.

And then his eyes fell on Vexen's plate.

The scientist, of course, was clever; he had tossed a bit of food around and broken bits and pieces off; some of it might have even been eaten, albeit by someone else after Vexen had shoved it off his plate, taking advantage of the chaos. No wonder his brothers had never done much-Vexen had never given them an opening to do anything!

Marluxia wanted to snarl, but he knew he couldn't call attention to himself yet. However, he was internally fuming, and he knew he was going to explode very, very soon. He inhaled deeply, trying to compose himself. Getting angry wouldn't solve a thing. If he frightened Vexen, he might ruin his chances of getting him back upstairs, even with the hold he had on him and his experiments. He had to keep his cool, stay calm, and hold his composure.

Then Vexen actually simply pushed the plate away, seeing everyone else was done.

Fuck composure right in the ear. Marluxia had about damn well _had it._

Without warning, vines burst up from the floor and yanked Vexen back down into his seat within an instant. Everyone else started, turning to see Vexen bound and snarling and spitting with rage. One of them probably would have helped, except Marluxia's very presence spoke of something horrible, violent, and feral.

He walked across the room like a tiger eyeing a wounded, stricken doe. His steps were slow, measured, and careful; he never changed his pace or even his expression. His face was a smooth, cool mask, and it chilled everyone to the bone as he took his time in reaching Vexen's chair, meandering around the table as he dragged a deceivingly gentle finger across the edge of the wood, letting petals drip down its' surface.

Deep inside herself, Larxene saw the gleeful march of a predator, and if it had not been Marluxia who was the vicious, deadly man in the room, she might have panicked; as it was, she found comfort in the closest stronghold she could grab onto. That stronghold, of course, happened to be Lexaeus. As much as the older man was hypnotized by Marluxia's dance as well, he was cognizant enough of Larxene's embrace that he kept his silence and his peace, not even moving so much as his lips and calling out to Marluxia.

The assassin himself was very, very quiet. What would have been the normal click of heels on the marble had become as loud as gunshots that resonated in all their ears with a harsh, bitter ringing sound, making them all shudder with trepidation as Marluxia finally reached his quarry.

Marluxia's expression did not change as he hooked the edge of the plate with a single finger and dragged it over to both him and Vexen, the slow pace clearly mockingly gentle as Vexen watched him with wide, horrified eyes, breaths short, shallow, and rapid. He looked for all the world like a cornered and frightened beast, but he had enough pride to school his expression and give Marluxia a vicious glare as the assassin focused his gaze on him.

"Tell me, Vexen." He whispered, voice chill as ice and quiet as snow, "am I to assume you have ignored the food I put in front of you?"

Vexen rolled his eyes, managing even in his bound position to look like he was the regal aristocrat snubbing Marluxia as he sniffed with disgust.

"You don't have to assume anything, Number XI. I didn't eat a single bite of your food. Do you take me for a fool! Do you think I would put myself in such a situation, ensuring that you would have a hold on me for the rest of my life? You and your Shiva-damned mind games can go burn in hell!" He snarled. Marluxia was impassive for a moment, Vexen's scathing words seemingly leaving him unaffected.

"If that is what you wish." He murmured. "If you want me to burn, I'll burn for you. But not today. Right now, it doesn't matter what you want. What matters is the things that you need. And if you won't provide yourself with the things that you need, then I will do it for you." He replied, waiting until Vexen was wrapped up in thinking of a rebuttal to gently secure his wrists behind his back, ignoring Vexen's indignant scream of rage as he turned around and picked up the plate.

"You can feed yourself when you realize you need it. Since you obviously can't understand that you have to eat, you'll have to be taught. Think of it as a learning experience." He purred. Vexen's eyes widened, barely having time to process it before Marluxia broke off a small bit of a chocolate muffin with delicate fingers and shoved it into Vexen's mouth.

The scientist would have bitten down, simply as reflex, if he hadn't been so stunned. Once he actually realized what Marluxia was doing, he tried to bite down in retaliation, but Marluxia had already taken his fingers from his mouth. No one else knew what to say, but finally, Saix was the first one to come to his senses, and shoved everyone out the door.

* * *

"Saix, what are you doing? This isn't like you at all!" Xemnas whispered out of the corner of his mouth, trying not to draw Marluxia's attention. Once Saix had shut the door and they had all disappeared into the darkness, the berserker gave his master a wan smile.

"Superior, it's really rather understandable. Marluxia has claimed Vexen as his bitch. In packs, presenting a bitch with food is a good way to curry her favor. Other males of the pack tend not to interrupt the courtship." Saix explained, as if he was conveying the concept to a five year old child.

Xemnas stared at him for a long, slow minute.

_So he knows next to nothing about sex, but god forbid someone interrupt a goddamned werewolf mating ritual. _He thought bitterly, shaking his head to disperse the thought before sighing.

"Saix, just..." He groaned. "I don't care if that is the case, but please, god, whatever you do, don't call Vexen that in public." He ordered. His pup's ears perked up ever-so-slightly, and he wrinkled his nose, evidently confused.

"He's Marluxia's mate, and I thought-I just assumed-" Xemnas cut him off with a single finger against his lips. Saix fell silent, and Xemnas counted it as a point towards _their _courtship that Saix reddened with just the slightest of a blush.

"I know, my puppy." He soothed him, beckoning to him as Saix followed him loyally up the steps and towards their bedroom, "but, Kingdom Hearts be merciful, if he catches you, I don't think that even I as the Superior and Lord of Nothingness could actually stop him from strangling both you and Marluxia." He said slowly. Saix whuffed, rolling his eyes and whining slightly with annoyance.

"No one else seems to like the term either. I tried it with Xaldin, and he was...less than agreeable." He mused. Xemnas willed himself with all his remaining strength to continue walking and ignore what his pet had just said. Saix's eyes brightened up as he realized something. "Master, would this be like a scientific procedure of some sort, because if you wish, I could help you form a hypothesis-"

"_No._" Xemnas said. Saix just sighed. It seemed that he wasn't a very good scientist. Perhaps his master would help him practice later.


	72. And Forever Now

(GUESS WHO SUCKS AT UPDATING ME

Honestly, it was only because I kept forgetting until, like, ten at night, so I'd be like "shit it's too late to update oh just wait until tomorrow" and this went on for like what, three days? Jesus.

Also this is now officially porn. Seriously. This is terrible. I think Vexen is yelling at me there and that makes me a sad panda. :(

On the bright side, daily updates for awhile. That's why I skipped updates BECAUSE I LOVE YOU obviously. ^^;

NAVEL GAZING TIME MARLUXIA /shot/

Seriously, lol with the random LET US CONTEMPLATE OUR NAVELS moment. I don't even know. ^^; Anyways, I know this is short, but I hope you like this chapter! :D

AT LEVEL FIFTY. GOING TO FIGHT F.B. MORE NOOZ TOMORROW.

Don't own KH.

Dedicated to my sister, because it's her birthday. This is not for you to read, kiddo. Ever. DON'T GROW UP TO BE LIKE ME.)

* * *

While the others hightailed it out of the kitchen like bats out of hell, Marluxia had begun to slowly, but surely, feed Vexen. He would offer him bites of muffins and biscuits and fruit, making sure he had swallowed each one of them before he would continue. It was a slow, gentle rhythm, one that seemed to move in time with the tugging in their chests.

The messier things, such as the fruits soaked in cream, occasionally dripped down his lips and past his chin; Marluxia resisted the urge to kiss the mess away, settling instead for sweeping a gentle finger over the cream and licking it off his own fingers. Vexen averted his gaze, refusing to look at Marluxia whenever he did it, which only further amused Marluxia. He waited until Vexen at least let him put food in his mouth again, even if his eyes were more focused on the table below him than his own azure eyes.

He found peace and comfort in doing this. The fact that he was getting clear, concrete, visible results of Vexen finally being made to eat thrilled him and made him absolutely ecstatic with pleasure. The scientist was blushing furiously, probably down to his toes at this point, Marluxia mused. His cheeks were an adorable shade of crimson, and he was fidgeting in vain on the chair, making Marluxia smile with amused delight.

The scientist knew better than to bite Marluxia's fingers as he put them in his mouth; Marluxia had given him a commanding, dominating look that demanded absolute obedience, and Vexen didn't want to push Marluxia any farther. He knew it was screwed up; he shouldn't be tied to a chair, and he _definitely _should not have been put there by another man...another man, who, while he was at it, had begun to feed him. He wasn't supposed to be a lot of things. He wasn't supposed to be a Nobody, he wasn't supposed to be this goddamned helpless, and he wasn't supposed to have this wretched link with this wretched man!

"Do you enjoy abusing me, Marluxia?" Vexen spat, watching as the botanist picked up the bagel and began to break off small bites of it, humming quietly. "Is this what you wanted, you bastard?" He snarled. "Does this _turn you on, _you absolutely sordid, wretched, monstrous-"

He suddenly felt the vines disappear. They hadn't just loosed their restraints, but literally just out and out disappeared. Vexen stared at his lap in shock, confused. He looked up at Marluxia and saw that the botanist had put the food down on the table and was now watching him with piercing, painfully blue eyes.

"No. The fact that you think this is abuse...aches. It hurts me in a way I can't, as a Nobody, really describe..." He murmured, thinking out loud as his eyes seemed to refocus and gaze at something far past Vexen. "All I wanted is for you to eat breakfast like a normal human being. With your family." He sighed. "Lexaeus said that if we forget who we were as humans, we lose our strength and fade away into the darkness. Not only are you wasting away, but if you keep hiding yourself from everything that the rest of us are trying to offer to you, you are going to fade away, as well." He said.

Vexen found that he didn't have the heart to glare at Marluxia, no matter how much he deserved it. He settled for rolling his eyes in disgust and huffing with contempt before finally replying.

"If you want me to be human, treat me like one!" He snapped. "Don't treat me like I'm a toy or a pet! All that you've done since you've arrived here has been either treating me like I'm your plaything or-" He stopped. "...Giving me things." He muttered. Marluxia's quick smirk was enough to get Vexen snarling again, and he grabbed his coffee cup, glaring up at Marluxia with clear disgust in his eyes.

"If you want me to eat, sit with me. Right here and right now. Just sit here and eat breakfast with me." He said slowly, still unsure of what he was doing or how Marluxia would react. Marluxia nodded, sitting down without another word and biting into a muffin with a small sigh of relief. Vexen watched him for a moment before he closed his eyes and began to think.

Marluxia had changed, literally, in the expanse of about one minute. Vexen swallowed. Perhaps this wasn't his normal behavior, then? This might honestly just be the way Marluxia thought that he wanted him to behave. Vexen sighed. He didn't know if that amused him or worried him-or, honestly, made him feel both ways, all at once, like the tugging sensation now seemed to be reminding him of.

What now, then? Did he actually listen to Marluxia, and risk losing his dignity? Was it worth it? He winced. And, truly, what did he have to lose; it seemed like the old adage, "keep your friends close, and your enemies closer," would be better off for him in the long run. And...perhaps...this wasn't so bad. At least he was gentle. At least he cared.

"If...I came up for breakfast, I mean...and lunch, and dinner, and so on..." Vexen trailed off, watching Marluxia look up at him with wide, hopeful blue eyes, "...would you be the one cooking?" He asked. With a small wince as he realized it was true, he added, "Because honestly, this is really rather good."

Marluxia nodded, giving him a slow, lazy smile. "Vexen, my dear, I wouldn't dream of having it any other way. Anything that you eat is going to be either prepared by me, or taken from my garden. I promise." He offered. Vexen sighed, unable to find any further protests.

"All right." He mumbled, quietly finishing the muffin before standing up and shivering. He could use some of that hot-house heat right about now. "I might be going out into the garden later, so if you hear anything that sounds like it's mechanical, it is. I've got some things to work on." He said wryly. Marluxia shrugged.

"Fine by me. Is it the mitosis again?" He asked. Vexen muttered unintelligibly, but by the fact that it sounded _very _nasty, and the temperature in the room dropped five degrees, Marluxia could haphazard a guess. He settled for giving him a soft sigh of empathy. "Well, good luck anyway. You can be the one who explains what machines are to the flowers." He teased. Vexen shrugged, suddenly looking away as he gripped the cloth of his pajama bottoms again, fisting them in his hands.

"...You'll let me know when lunch is, right?" He asked.

Marluxia knew they didn't have hearts, but a wonderful, warm, blooming sensation had filled his body, and all he could do was grin. "Yes." He replied. "Of course."

Vexen disappeared into the darkness, thankfully missing Marluxia squeal happily and run off to tell Larxene, forgetting his dignity and composure in favor of having won.


	73. Sword and Shield

(RANDOM XEMSAI CHAPTER IS RANDOM yeah I know shutup. It foreshadows the missions and some other stuff that comes later so cut me some slack. Plus the idea sorta just hit me and I ran with it.

Since there's a decent chunk written ahead, daily updates are a go-go. :D

Also I just hope Belle doesn't make Xaldin crossdress again. Except by that I mean she totally fucking should. :)

Also OH NOES SORA FORESHADOWING :O DRAMARAMA AHOY

So yeah the moral of the story is that Xemnas and Saix are painfully crazy gay for each other. Although I'm wondering if Lea ever had "the talk" with Isa. If not, he needs to get on that, like, now. CHAPTER IDEA YES PLZTHNX also Peggy joins in because lolol.

Also I think this is going to get kinda angsty later. OHWELL EVERYONE LIKES ANGST.

Also I have a page on tvtropes. EGO=GROWING

Annnd I just can't go beat BBS

(SPOILERS ABOUND NOW SO DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED)

I CAN'T KILL LARRY 3000

I DON'T WANT TO KILL MY BEAUTIFUL GAY ROBOT/JOKER/MARK HAMILL /sob/ I CAN'T GO KILL ERAQUS THIS IS UNFAIR I HATE YOU BBS

but I have to eventually. You know, for Even. Anything for Even. Even if it means another bit of my childhood dead and gone. :( I LOVE YOU LOTS MISTER AND YOU BETTER BE GRATEFUL

Also yeah that's it. I have to grow a pair and go fight him. ^^;

Welp, that seems to be it for this chapter! Go read my tvtropes page right now :)

Don't own KH~

Dedicated to My Chem for their newest album: yes I'm a MCR fan, but I'm not like a crazy lunatic fangirl who will scratch your eyes out. They scare me. Nevertheless, they are one of my favorite bands, and I can't wait to go buy the album! ^^)

* * *

The day passed like it normally did for everyone except Xemnas, who, unfortunately, had been saddled with the task of assigning everyone missions for the week. He groaned, chewing on the end of his pen as he sat at his study desk, deep in thought.

He would try to keep the couples together this week, if only because Xigbar loathed being without Demyx, and Xaldin and Luxord actually made a very good combo, (in Luxord's own words, "having yours truly stop time and my beautiful rose slit the enemies' throats is a rather effective battle strategy, don't you think?") Besides, there didn't need to be anything serious done this week. It had been slow work in every world, considering that the Heartless had been disappearing more and more lately...and not coming back, even after the darkness in the world roiled and birthed more of the monsters.

Xemnas was not a foolish man. He knew what was coming, and what had risen again, after all these years...

He sighed. They would be far more careful now. If a Keyblade Knight had returned and was now traveling across the worlds, that would be useless danger for all of them to get into; they would stick with well-worn, familiar worlds for this week. It would give them a safe vantage point to perhaps collect information on whoever this new Keyblade bearer was. He sighed again, burying his hands into his hair and running them through the silver strands. He was getting too old to be doing this.

_He never should have been doing it in the first place..._

He shook his head, dismissing that train of thought. It would only lead him down roads he could not walk, not in his present state. He went back to the notes and began to scribble down locations; Xigbar and Demyx would go to Olympus, and he could send Xaldin back to talk to Belle; while he wasn't sure how his brother had bonded with a Princess of Heart, she might be able to help them pinpoint this new Keyblade bearer.

The only person Larxene seemed to really trust aside from Marluxia was Lexaeus; this was certainly understandable, if they did indeed have that link, and he would be a way to keep her from exercising her violent urges. He smirked. Perhaps it might even be worth some bonding time; he was certain Lexaeus would hope for that to be true. He could send them to Twilight Town for the day, if only as a way for Lexaeus to perhaps begin rehabilitating Larxene. He checked his own schedule and groaned.

He had to stay behind and finish a study he had been conducting on drawing out the Heartless, and considering how powerful both his pup and that flaming brat were, it would be foolish not to send them out on a mission this week; aside from that, the flaming brat regarded _his puppy _as a friend. If it would make his Saix more comfortable about the mission, he would do it...even if he didn't like sending that damned flaming brat out with him. Xemnas sighed. Fine. Traverse Town then; the Keyblade bearer had to have stopped there at some point. It would be simple and short. He smiled, capping his pen. Done and done.

He paused. A wicked grin suddenly spread across his face. Oh, no. He was _not _done, actually.

"Now..." He murmured. "As for Vexen and Marluxia..."

A lesser man might have felt guilty for making his brother go on a mission with the man who was trying to get into his pants by any means necessary, but Xemnas, being the goddamned superior man, gleefully assigned both Vexen and Marluxia to a mission in the Enchanted Dominion.

...You know, for science.

With a small, wicked chuckle of triumph, Xemnas stood up and stretched, taking the papers and putting them in the desk drawer before heading up the stairs, eager to see his Saix and discuss the day with him.

* * *

His pup was already waiting for him once he arrived; Saix had found pleasure and peace in sitting in the bay window's sill and watching Kingdom Hearts when Xemnas was the last one to come up to bed; he always looked so contemplative and unearthly that Xemnas would do his best not to disturb him so as to maintain that picture of perfection. However, apparently, his master came before his mother moon, and Saix always knew immediately when he walked into their room.

"Good evening, master." Saix said. Xemnas paused in his tracks for a minute, his ears detecting just the slightest change of tone in his pet's voice. He kept calm, even though within an instant, the tugging within him had become a painful roar of sensation. He simply nodded, going towards his closet and opening the black wood door, rifling through the shelves until his found his black silk sleeping pants.

"Good evening, my Saix." Xemnas replied, standing up and turning back to face his pup. Saix's demeanor had not changed, but something was...off. His breathing was shallow, and Xemnas could see the tips of glistening white fangs pressed up against Saix's pale lower lip. Xemnas watched as the moonlight seemed to bathe Saix in a cosmic glow, giving his pet the appearance of a spirit or a fair folk of some kind. Xemnas swallowed.

He had always assumed his Saix's presence in his life was indeed a blessing from Kingdom Hearts; she had taken Isa and made him into her perfect servant, her devotee, her worshipper. Because of his devotion to her, she gave him power; for Xemnas' devotion, she had blessed him with Saix himself...

...And all the power that came with him.

The moon didn't always do this to him; sometimes, whether it was from being near his master or through simple strength of will, Saix could seek comfort and peace from the moon, rather than bloodlust or savagery. But oh, Kingdom Hearts, when it did this instead, even Xemnas had to admit that Saix just wasn't...sane. However, even though Xemnas readily acknowledged his uneasiness, he would not leave his puppy alone to tear himself apart.

He had managed to take a single step forward before Saix snarled; Xemnas froze into place without a single word, watching Saix turn and survey him with burning golden eyes, pupils slit so thin as to be nonexistent. His hair had begun to stand on end, and the scar was already becoming thicker and more unnervingly monstrous looking.

"I could kill with this power." He murmured. "My mother has given me permission to murder all those that stand in our way; to destroy each and every last being that stands to fight against our goal of achieving her splendor and perfection." Xemnas only realized just then that Saix had his claymore; it too had become far more wicked and deadly looking. The sword was huge, yet Saix handled it like it was a weightless toy, switching it thoughtlessly from hand to hand. Xemnas noticed that his claws had become curved, wicked, razor-sharp smirks etched across his fingers.

"But I would not kill just because my mother asked me. Not even the most devoted of servants can follow and obey their mothers unquestioningly; perhaps that is the way of every man, to separate himself from his mother." Saix said quietly. "She has given me the power, and given me the blessing. But she has not given me the order."

Xemnas could not speak; he didn't know if speaking would set Saix off or provoke him into attacking, so he settled for staying silent and watching him stand up, sliding off the windowsill with all the grace and ease of a leaping tiger. He walked towards Xemnas with a slow, measured gait, his eyes shining with both bloodlust and something Xemnas could not name.

"A dog does not serve its mother." He said. "It serves its master." Without warning, Saix knelt in front of Xemnas, tilting his head up as he crouched on his knees in front of his master, claymore still in his hand. Xemnas stared down at him, gazing into his golden eyes without blinking, even when his own amber eyes began to tear up in protest from being kept open for so long.

"You are my master. The only master I will ever serve. The only master I will obey. I would fade away into the darkness on your whim; I would destroy my own soul for your amusement. No one can break this bond, because it is one I freely chose." Saix murmured. "I am your sword; I am the monster that will keep your hands clean of all blood and carnage. Give me the order to slaughter, and I will, no matter the cost to my sanity or my soul. Choke me into submission if that is what it takes to bring me back from the killing edge; I am your eternal servant, and all I ask is that I may be allowed to take up my sword in your name. I give my life for your gain, master." He looked up into Xemnas' eyes, and for a minute, the berserker in him faded, and he seemed as wholly human as Isa had once been. "I am forever yours, Xemnas."

Xemnas was quiet for a long, slow minute. The only sounds in the darkness were their twin breaths, matching each other pulse for pulse, and beat by beat.

Without a word, Xemnas knelt and brought Saix into a deep, strong embrace. Saix did not resist or reject the embrace; he submitted to his master's touch obediently, even as Xemnas began to stroke his hair and back.

"I will forever keep you by my side." He replied. "No man could take you away from me. If you give me your life, rest assured; it shall remain protected and safe always and forevermore. Your life is more precious to me than my own." He whispered. "And Saix?"

Saix looked up at him, and the berserker light in his eyes faded. He tilted his head, whispering back, "Master?"

Xemnas smiled. "If we are to go down into the darkness...we will go down together." He responded.

Saix said nothing, but the way he held Xemnas as his master picked him up and laid him on the bed as he undressed, shedding his coat and boots in favor of the silk pants that Saix so loved to touch before climbing into bed spoke volumes. (As, of course, did the ferocious embrace he gave him once Xemnas had laid down by his side.)


	74. Caring Hands

(I FINISHED NANO I FINISHED NANO I FINISHED FUCKING NANO FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES :D :D :D

I'm just so damn happy I'm DONE. Now I can focus on updating and not forget all the time! ^^; And focus on a genderbended KH AU for the time being. I'm so excited~

So yeah, Vexen gets taken care of a lot. It's totally not because I think it's adorable or because I like him being coddled and nursed NO THAT IS JUST SILLY. YOU ARE ALL SILLY.

So yeah I'm going to update more now. I have a huge chunk of fic written so we're good, and I'll have more frequent updates I AM SO SORRY D:

So yeah, won NaNo, I can update more often, hooray!

Don't own KH.

Dedicated to the Christmas Season, hell yeah!)

* * *

Vexen had remained out in the garden for a generous chunk of the day, only coming back in for lunch and dinner. They were quick, rushed affairs, but with Marluxia's watchful eye burning a hole into his thoughts, he remembered to eat every bite of what was put in front of him. Marluxia had been true to his word, and made him a fruit salad and grilled cheese sandwich for lunch, (Vexen was starting to think Marluxia was just pestering Xigbar to get all the information on what he liked from him that he possibly could-Vexen wasn't sure if he was amused or horrified), and two bars of chocolate for a snack while he kept working. Dinner was a bit longer; Marluxia had made him pasta slathered in alfredo sauce and fried fish.

Vexen had to give him credit for being persistent, if nothing else. His stomach hurt slightly, but it wasn't the hideous, gnawing growling of being denied food; if anything, his body was rebelling against him for eating far too much. He shuddered, leaning against the door frame of the lab's entrance. He felt like hell from being forced to choke all that down, and with the state he was in, he couldn't even hit Marluxia, let alone feed him to his own acid-spitting tentacle-laden monstrosities that had the gall to call themselves "plants."

"Vexen?" He heard the painfully familiar voice, which now sounded so soft and concerned, and started violently, turning around to see Marluxia right behind him, an apologetic expression across his face.

"How in the name of hell did you sneak up behind me!" Vexen snapped, the first thought his mind would let him grasp spilling from his lips. He almost instantly regretted it, considering he had just effectively shoved his foot into his mouth so far that it actually reached somewhere deep, deep down into his lower intestine. Wonderful.

Marluxia, to his credit, took it in stride. He shrugged and kept his cool as he watched the scientist, who had yet to bolt down the stairs and lock the door, (apparently, he usually forgot that Marluxia could just portal down there if he wanted to, but Marluxia wouldn't let him know that he had made that glaring oversight in his plans quite yet...)

Instead, he chalked it up to what he hoped was Vexen's ever-growing tolerance of his presence, (and, dare he say it, perhaps a slight enjoyment of being near him as well), and simply gave him a small smile.

"I didn't sneak up behind you, Vexen; I just came down the hall a minute ago. However, I happened to catch you leaning against the doorway, and I decided to see if you were all right." He said before sighing softly and giving his body and demeanor the once-over. "You seem rather...off. Not sick, certainly, but..." Marluxia made to press his palm against Vexen's forehead, but pulled it away at the last second, suddenly reminded of what had happened last time he had tried to touch Vexen.

Vexen himself sighed, giving him a look of almost slightly amused contempt. "You should know better, Marluxia." He said quietly. "When a body is suddenly overloaded with heavy, high-calorie, or high-carb food, it has a tendency to reject it and cause less...less than pleasant effects for the body in question." He wrapped an arm over his stomach and fought down a shudder. "As a result, I'm...not feeling so well." He said, the sudden, retching cough that accompanied his statement only punctuating his words.

Marluxia's eyes were wide with shock, terror, and hideous realization as he watched Vexen tuck a strand of hair behind his ear and fight down another shudder as his stomach growled, roiling in protest.

"Why-what, just, why-what the hell did you-why did you-_why didn't you say anything?" _Marluxia shouted, so tempted to reach out and shake Vexen by the shoulders for a minute, if only to knock some damned sense into him! "You could have told me! If you were in pain, I would have-"

Vexen had to admit, he was very satisfied at the fact that this time, he was the one who held his hand up, cutting Marluxia off.

"I didn't want to disobey your orders, Marluxia." He purred, admitting to himself the grim satisfaction he got at finally having backed Marluxia into a corner. "After all, I needed to eat, didn't I? I'm only one hundred and ten pounds, _remember_?" He hissed.

He wasn't expecting Marluxia, who was so normally such a calm, cool, and collected man, to even so much as admit he had lost; finding out that Marluxia's response was to wail inconsolably and pull him into a vicious, back-snapping hug was certainly a kick in the teeth for Vexen. He would have breathed enough to protest against the sudden embrace had Marluxia not pressed him so tight against his skin that all he could do was inhale the fresh, warm, and almost sweet scent of the botanist.

"Oh god." He murmured. "I...I'm so sorry. I didn't take care of my baby right. Forgive me, Vexen, I didn't take good care of you..." Vexen was too shocked from Marluxia's initial response to even protest as Marluxia picked him up, actually cradling him in his arms like a damned doll as he stroked Vexen's mussed hair away from his flushed forehead with a cool, gentle gloved hand. "It was a silly, stupid mistake. We'll start you on a nice, normal diet, okay? We'll work you all the way up until you can eat without getting sick. I promise." He cooed, rubbing his back with his hand and toyed with his hair with his other free hand before kissing the top of his head. "See? It'll be okay, Vexen. I promise I'll take good care of you."

Vexen knew he really should have been annoyed at the doting, almost infantilizing way that Marluxia was talking to him and carrying him, but the fact was, he had been standing at the threshold of the lab because he really hadn't been able to walk down the stairs since his stomach hurt so much; at least someone else was helping him down the damned steps. He sighed. It was probably for the best that he sometimes just let Marluxia think he had won.

Speaking of the arrogant bastard, Marluxia was stroking his hair in a rhythmic, soothing pattern that had Vexen feeling content and sleepy, even as he tried to force himself to stay awake and remember that he was in, of all places, Marluxia's arms! That, aside from being trapped in the middle of the darkness, alone, weaponless, and surrounded by millions of Heartless, was probably the most dangerous place in the world for him to be in-and even then, he would rather be surrounded by the Heartless! At least he would die with some dignity, rather than being tucked into bed like some sort of helpless child!

...Wait...

Vexen looked up to realize that Marluxia had indeed taken him down into the labs and past the first, more open workspace, clearly intending to bring him into his bedroom and, (god help him), tuck him back into bed. He tried to make a feeble protest, but Marluxia simply shook his head, opening the next door and heading down deeper into the main part of the labs.

"Your room is on the left, isn't it? The little ice blue accents are actually quite adorable. Did Lexaeus do those for you? He painted Larxene's room, so that wouldn't surprise me one bit. He is really a very good man, isn't he..." Marluxia trailed off, twisting the doorknob with his free hand as Vexen kept trying to find protests that just kept dying on his lips each time he opened his mouth no matter what he did to salvage them. Marluxia laughed, probably catching the expression on his face.

"Oh, don't worry. I promise not to tell anyone about this. So don't worry, your dignity is safe with me." He said cheerfully. "Although I believe it's fair to warn you that if you are up past three in the morning, I'm carrying you down here and locking your door." He added, giving him a teasing smirk. Vexen groaned weakly, settling for rolling his eyes in disgust at Marluxia. The botanist simply laughed and brushed off the indignant glare that Vexen treated him to as he snorted with annoyance.

"I can get in bed myself." Vexen finally grumbled, trying to wriggle and squirm his way out of Marluxia's arms. Marluxia shrugged, rubbing his shoulders gently before pulling back the blankets with his one free hand, laying Vexen down on the bed and smirking at the glare the scientist treated him to once more before handing him a pair of pajamas and giving him the opportunity to dress without Marluxia looking, (no matter how much Marluxia would have liked to look...)

"I'm fully aware that you can get in bed yourself, my beautiful little doll." He said, turning around just in time to catch the sight of Vexen in pale bluish-white flannel pajamas with his blonde hair slightly mussed and his eyes glazed over just slightly with exhaustion. Marluxia swallowed; Vexen had no idea what he was doing to him, of course, but the urge to just pin the man to the bed with his vines and ravish him until he screamed with ecstasy was overtaking him to the point of being painful. He shook his head. No, he had to stay on track. Besides, Vexen was ill; taking care of him was the closest thing he could get to curling up beside him and touching him in all the perfect, wonderful places he could ever possibly think of.

"But taking care of my vulnerable, sick little scientist is just an opportunity I can't pass up." He continued. Vexen simply regarded him with a mix of confusion and wounded dignity. Marluxia sighed, shaking his head and looking surprisingly contrite. "Especially since it's my fault in the first place." He murmured. "Let me do this, okay? I want...to make sure I can fix the stupid mistake I made." He asked.

The sudden burst of honesty and regret from Marluxia, of all people, left Vexen so stunned that he really didn't have much choice except to nod. Marluxia sighed with relief, fussing about and making sure Vexen was warmly dressed for bed. Once he had gone over his sleeping clothes, satisfied, Marluxia fluffed the pillow behind Vexen and checked the blankets, adding one more when the warmth that Vexen was getting didn't meet his standards. He tugged them up around Vexen's chin while he was preening and fussing over the scientist until finally, he stood back, satisfied with his work.

"All right. Sleep well, Vexen. I promise to start taking better care of you in the morning." Marluxia purred, stroking his hair one last time before he left the room, shutting the door gently behind him as he disappeared into the darkness, presumably going back to his own room.

Vexen groaned, glaring in vain at the spot where Marluxia had once been standing. He would really have to discuss being "taken care of" by that damned man with him tomorrow...but the bed was warm, and he was tired, and Marluxia's hands had been so gentle...so very, painfully kind...

Vexen fell asleep with the feeling of warm, soothing hands caressing his cheek, and Marluxia's soft laugh ringing in his ears.


	75. The Mockingbird Says a Little Prayer

(SCANDALOUS LEGASP :O

Seriously, can I just say Ceecee, (shush it's hard to make a nickname out of seemyawesomness CUT ME A BREAK D:) you are the bestest :3 I love love love your reviews and they make me so happy and give me fabruluz ideas! :D

Shout-outs aside, Vexen isn't a nice person when he's pissed. That was at his _brother. _Anyone who he doesn't love? Hoo boy. While Marluxia is openly badass and domineering, well, Vexen has his limits. And when those limits are passed...

Sssh foreshadowing go away :O

Seriously, lol, WHY would Xemnas keep sending Braig to those places? I mean does he WANT to get shot? Silly Xeh-Xeh. You set yourself up for those things. ^^;

I'm making a giant squid mosaic in class and it is as tall as I am and it is AWESOME. If art is the weapon, I FIGHT WITH GIANT SQUID.

YES MARLUXIA FEED HIM AGAIN MAKE ME FEEL EVEN DIRTIER FOR WRITING THIS

Annnnd yeah that's it for this chapter! Kyuhuhu, there's times when I fail at writing rambly notes. I have nothing to ramble ABOUT. ^^; No worries~

Love you all!

Don't own.

Dedicated to Ceecee :D)

* * *

The next morning was a rather calm one. In retrospect, Vexen looked back on it and recognized the calm for what it was; the eerie calm before the storm.

Lexaeus and Zexion were already upstairs; he could hear everyone else getting up and heading down to the kitchen for breakfast as well. He groaned, knowing that he would have to go up and eat as well; hopefully, Marluxia wouldn't make him eat until he was sick again...

Although, Vexen had to admit, the botanist had sounded contrite and honestly dedicated towards trying to work with him. He still didn't like the idea of working with Marluxia, but he knew that honestly, sometimes, you just had to let some things slide.

He put on his coat and headed up the stairs, the black leather brushing against stone and making a comforting shushing sound as he yawned, brushing mussed-up blonde locks out of his eyes. He was only dressed in the coat because, if his calculations were correct, (and they always were), it was the start of a new week of missions. He figured it was better to be prepared to go out straight from breakfast; the less time away from his lab, the better. He was still trying to make those organs function...

He sighed with delight. Yes, if the hearts would work, then this damn placebo would go away for good, and Marluxia would have no reason to stalk him. He could go and find a beautiful man to warm his bed, rather than what Vexen knew full well that he was; a half-starved, eccentric, vain, and sardonic, arrogant bastard of a scientist.

Vexen shook his head, closing his eyes and welcoming the stinging darkness as he inhaled sharply. He really shouldn't have been thinking of that this early in the morning. It would only wreak havoc on his thoughts for the rest of the day. Still...

He walked up the stairs and headed for the kitchen, trying not to think of Marluxia and all the trouble that his affections had caused.

Vexen had to admit, he was rather surprised that Marluxia had not forced him into a seat and shoved food in front of him the second he stepped over the kitchen threshold. Of course, he was simply waiting for the other shoe to drop, but that was a perfectly reasonable feeling, considering what he had been through at this point.

Vexen actually managed to sit down across from Saix, (who shot him a slightly shy glance and a faint smile; Vexen had to admit, he was highly amused that the boy treated him with such respect and awe), get a cup of coffee from Zexion, and take a few sips before Marluxia set down breakfast in front of him.

"Fruit salad, cinnamon sugar cereal, and fresh apple juice. I assumed this would be a bit easier for your stomach to tolerate, my doll." Marluxia said, sitting next to Saix and shooting him a pointed, "You're either eating it on your own or I'm feeding it to you whether you like it or not," glare. Vexen knew that glare far more intimately than he would want to at this point, and sighed, settling for stabbing the first bite of fruit he could reach and shooting a pointed glare right back at Marluxia.

Of course, he simply smirked in response, the bastard. Still, Vexen felt slightly better for having at least tried, and as such, was actually rather satisfied with breakfast. Whatever grew in Marluxia's garden, (which, by his calculations, was eighty percent "abominations against god and mercy," ten percent flowers, five percent fruits and vegetables, and five percent "other"), it was actually really quite good. He couldn't name all the fruits, but even the ones that he had no names for were delicious.

He reminded himself to ask Marluxia later; at least it would be safe ground to talk to the man on, considering there was no way that even Marluxia could turn a simple question about fruit into a way to get into his pants.

(At least, he prayed he couldn't, but knowing him...)

Vexen shook off the thought and banished it from his mind, fighting down a blush as he realized Xemnas had whistled softly, drawing their attention to the Superior, (who had a cheshire grin that was far too cheerful for Vexen's liking.)

"Well, as I'm sure you all know, I have been working at getting missions together for this week. It's nothing too complicated; there have been reports..." Xemnas paused, unsure of how much he should tell them; he didn't want to start a panic. Even among the original six, the Keyblade Knights had never been something that any of them had scoffed at or taken lightly, and now that they were without a doubt the enemy, things would only get worse for them all, regardless of whether or not they had encountered a Knight before. He sighed. "There have been reports of something that is killing off the Heartless. I would rather that none of you put yourselves in any unnecessary danger, so we're sticking to easier, lighter missions until I can figure out what the source of the problem is."

"If by easier and lighter you mean "sending me to the Hundred Acre Wood," Xeh-Xeh, I'd much rather face a goddamned Heartless-eating abomination, thanks." Xigbar muttered venomously, already shuddering with memories of his last trip to some of the more cheerful, happier worlds. Xemnas simply smirked.

"Of course not, Braig darling." He teased, giving him a deceptively innocent glance. "I was thinking more along the lines of Atlantica or Disney Town, but if the Hundred Acre Wood is more suited to your liking..."

"_I will eat your fucking face off." _Xigbar snarled. Demyx giggled as Xemnas simply winced, and everyone else at the table figured that either Demyx was used to this, or, more frighteningly, that he thought Xigbar was funny. (Either way, really, god help them all.)

"Right, anyways, I did not mean anything involving the Hundred Acre Wood. Or Atlantica. Or Disney Town. Easier and lighter means we have to stop leaving trails of corpses in our wake." Xemnas remarked wryly, shooting an annoyed glare at Xigbar, who simply smirked in triumph as a retaliation. "As for where we _are _going...let me see." He opened his notebook and ran his finger down the page until he found the list. "Ah! All right, Xigbar, you take Demyx to Olympus. See if you can find anything out there-participate in the tournament if you think it can get you the information. If not, stick to the marketplaces and listen for gossip." He ordered. The two nodded, Peggy chiming in with a humming chord as her own agreement.

"Dilan, Luxord, go back to Beast's Castle and talk to Belle, would you? She's pure of heart; if this has something to do with the darkness, she could probably sense it in some way, and might have information." He requested. Xaldin and Luxord both nodded. Xemnas winced, trying not to meet Larxene's eyes as he turned to Lexaeus. "Lexaeus, take Larxene and go to Twilight Town for the day. That's the world where the Heartless have been disappearing the most, and the one we need to closely examine."

When Larxene looked away, Xemnas mouthed, "_Try to get something out of her." _Lexaeus nodded, sighing softly and giving Xemnas a wan smile.

It killed Xemnas to assign the next mission, but he knew he had to do it.

"And as for Axel...I need you to go to Traverse Town and investigate the places around there-it is the "opening" world where most of the information gathers from across all of the worlds. Saix will accompany you." He muttered through clenched teeth. The wicked, arrogant smirk Axel gave him certainly did not help, and Xemnas was sure he could have cheerfully punched the red-headed bastard in the face for making him do this. Saix didn't seem to notice his master's seething disgust and simply smiled happily, clearly pleased to be going out on a mission with his best friend.

Honestly, even through Xemnas' seething hatred, the next mission that he was going to assign almost made the whole nightmare worth it. Almost.

He smirked and met Vexen's eyes, already gleefully awaiting his reaction. "And as for you, Vexen, I need you to go to the Enchanted Dominion and study the inhabitants. Considering they're all, well, trapped in a never-ending sleep, it should be rather easy for you to examine them and possibly find out why." His smirk only grew wider as he flicked his glance over to Marluxia quickly before looking at Vexen once more, (who was really starting to feel uneasy about the look in his Superior's eyes...)

"And of course, as one of our original six, I think it is important that you show a newer member the ropes. Marluxia will accompany you." He said cheerfully, folding his hands together and placing them on the table.

The room got very, very quiet for a minute. A pin could have dropped and sounded like the atom bomb.

The whole room froze over with a sudden crackling burst of sound; without a single hint of warning, the walls, the floor, the table, the fridge, the glasses, the food, the plates-every single object in the room was covered under a solid sheet of ice. Even the notes Xemnas had written on the missions were covered in ice, which only amplified the writing on them that had enraged Vexen so much in the first place. The temperature of the room couldn't have been much over ten or fifteen degrees, and even that was probably a charitable estimate. Vexen himself was the picture of cold rage as he sat in the middle of the miserable frozen wastleland and watched them all with a look of icy contempt written across his features.

"I suppose we should be going, then. Marluxia?" Vexen said, his voice clipped, chilled, and bitter. Marluxia could only nod as he stood up and summoned Graceful Dahlia in a burst of cherry blossoms, which also froze in midair like delicate pink mockingbirds. Vexen was very quiet as he stood up and approached Xemnas, who hadn't moved a single muscle as Vexen had reacted in such an extraordinary manner. Vexen leaned in closer, enough that he could brush his pale, thin fingers against Xemnas' chin, and gave him a cold, thin smile.

"Have fun without your puppy today, Xehanort." He said quietly, his renewed smile far too wicked and much too pleased for Xemnas' liking as he strode from the room, taking both Marluxia and the frozen wasteland with him. Everyone stared at the open door, unsure of what to say.

"You're dismissed." Xemnas muttered, just before putting his head in his hands and trying not to break down at the table. "You're all dismissed."

The others disappeared into the darkness, save for Saix, who simply squeezed his master's hand gently before walking out of the kitchen and shutting the door behind him with a soft click.


	76. By Your Side

(You know what I love? How I don't update for a week and then give you midget updates. Yeah. That is tons of fun, isn't it?

Although I promise I'll have another update tomorrow, swear to howdy. The thing is, the next one covers Axel and Saix's mission and brings up a REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT plot point, so it'd be like AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. I try not to do that too often. ^^;

OH GOD OH GOD OKAY SO

I still can't kill Master Larry 3000 the Jokerbot, soooo I haven't finished Terra's story. Shutup. SO I WENT TO YOUTUBE BECAUSE OH COME ON I COULDN'T DEPRIVE MYSELF ANY LONGER

and just oh god can I say fanon=life because Even? Even is their fucking mother. Seriously. Dilan and Aeleus go off to help Ventus, "UH-UH BITCH PLEASE GET YOUR ASSES BACK HERE IT'S DINNER TIME NOW WASH YOUR FACES AND DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK OR THE CROCODILES GO BACK UNDER THE SECRET DOOR IN THE FLOORBOARDS" and also the fact that while he's tall, he's still skinny and wiry as hell, so the image of him bossing around Didi and Aeleus, who are effectively two very large bears masquerading as humans, just makes me lol for reals.

Also IENZO IENZO IENZO IENZO IENZO IENZO IENZO IENZO IENNNZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OH MY GOD HE'S JUST THE CUTEST LITTLE BABY EVER HE WAS JUST SITTING THERE AND LETTING THE UNVERSED LOOK AT HIM THREATENINGLY OR WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY DO AND HE WAS ALL LIKE ";3; HEEELLLP I'M TOO CUTE TO FIGHT" AND JUST

JUST

HE'S LIKE A FUCKING KITTEN

A FUCKING _KITTEN_

I AM TAKING HIM HOME WITH ME THAT'S RIGHT eat it Ansem you didn't need him anyway

IENZO, YOU GONNA GET TAKEN HOME. :D

(also he's an orphan so now he really needs a home MY CRAZY FANGIRLING IS JUSTIFIED I TELL YOU)

Also he pouted and I think my head fucking exploded. He fucking POUTED. Like, just, like, like, just, fuck, he pouted, he fucking gaaahrehghkelegreh HE'S SO CUTE OH MY GOD HE POUTED LIKE AN ADORABLE LITTLE POUTING KITTEN THAT CAN POUT

And also lol Ven is such a midget they're like the same height VEN YOU ARE A SHRIMP.

Annnd so yeah that's it. Also Dilan sounds almost freakishly British. IMO, making their voices change seems...pointless to me, considering that a.) I believe it's still the same voice actors and b.) Nobodies don't age according to Nomura so why would their voices change OH RIGHT THIS IS KINGDOM HEARTS SILLY ME I FORGOT NOTHING MAKES SENSE HERE.

In all seriousness, yes, Even did really raise them. It wore him out more than he ever cared to admit, because he believes they would feel guilty. Also PLOT POINT WOO GO SERENDIPITY AGAIN but yeah, basically, he gave them all the effort and time he could give and left nothing for himself.

Also, because Ceecee asked a question I've gotten a few times before but haven't ever really answered clearly, here's the truth.

Larxene and Lexaeus only became a couple because of the one scene in chapter, oh, nineteen I believe, of FtM, in which she gives him back his puzzle piece. I did not ever even consider it until I realized, "oh, wow, they work very well together." And I began to chew it over in my head and run it by my plans and chewed on it some more, and I began to write it. And write it. And I realized how well it worked and was like, "holy shit." So any instances of pairing hints that were previously alluded to before that chapter? Added in before I published it on ffn.

That's right; one of the most popular pairings in this fic was started simply from a random moment of serendipity. WOO YAY RANDOM THOUGHTSHOWERS.

So there you go! The shameful truth of this pairing; I did not write it because "ooh it's so subversive" or hell even consider it until I threw them both in a room together and realized they got along. YAY. :D

Annnnd I don't own KH.

Dedicated to Ienzo. LOOK AT HIM HE IS ADORABLE WORSHIP HIM

AND PRAISE HIM

ON YOUR KNEES)

* * *

Marluxia wasn't really sure what he should say to Vexen, especially not when he was in such a snit. The scientist had summoned a Dark Corridor and stormed through it, leaving Marluxia to follow behind him, trying his best to keep up with the other male's quick, impatient pace. If he had been able to find the time, he would have asked Vexen what had gotten him so annoyed, but considering he could barely even follow Vexen, let alone keep up with the other man, he knew it would have to wait until they arrived in the Enchanted Dominion.

Vexen himself was beyond caring what had happened at breakfast. All he wanted to do was lose Marluxia somewhere in the Enchanted Dominion, find some abandoned glade, and cry his eyes out until Xemnas' betrayal stopped hurting.

His own brother! His own brother, of all people, had left him alone with Marluxia in a world that he had never been to! He might as well have signed his execution warrant! Just because the bastard was getting snippy and irate because Saix was out with Axel didn't mean that he could ruin everyone else's day, and he didn't regret sticking that knife in further in the slightest-if anyone deserved it right now, it was Xemnas, he just couldn't believe-

"Vexen?" Marluxia's voice was soft and curious in his ear, and his breath was warm on his cheek. Vexen started violently and jumped about a foot in the air before turning around to see Marluxia right behind him. He tried not to snarl at the younger man and schooled his expression.

"Yes?" He asked, unable to keep the bitter edge out of his tone. Marluxia winced.

"I'm simply curious as to why you seemed so agitated. This is a mission, no more, no less." He told him. Vexen shot him a filthy glare.

"Just a mission? Perhaps. Or perhaps Xemnas is taking out his own frustration on me." He spat. "Do you know what it feels like to be betrayed by your brothers? The men who you raised, the men you took care of for almost your entire life? The men who you calmed down after horrible nightmares, or fed when your father wasn't home, or sat with while they rode out sickness? Did you ever take five boys and make them your responsibility and then have them all _turn on you _simply because they think a relationship would make you so much happier?" He snarled.

Marluxia was quiet. Vexen was breathing heavily with something akin to hideous, desperate sorrow etched into his features as his eyes screamed of misery. If they had been human, Marluxia would have called it sadness. And yet...

"Perhaps they know that you _would_ be happier." He said. "They're men now. They don't need someone taking care of them anymore. It's not that your efforts were in vain, Vexen," he corrected himself as he saw the scientist's eyes narrow, "but that they don't need the effort anymore. They can always use a mentor and an elder, but they don't need a caretaker. You have to stop thinking of yourself as one, because all it's doing is making you think you have to work yourself to the bone and ignore everything and everyone else. Of course they want you happy. They did this because of all that you did for them." He said softly. "You made sure that they were happy. Now they're just returning the favor."

Vexen was silent this time, watching him for a long, slow minute. Marluxia wasn't sure what the scientist was thinking; the blankness behind those absolutely stunning emerald eyes worried him. He swallowed, thinking of all the things Vexen could do in that moment and praying that he didn't push him away again, because Marluxia was sick and tired of being pushed and pulled-

"I suppose you're right." Vexen murmured. "We shall have to have a talk eventually about it, however." He mused. "Anyways, that isn't important. We should get going." He said, beckoning to Marluxia. The botanist brightened, seeing that Vexen didn't seem to blame any of the chaos on him. With a much lighter feeling in his chest, he bounded after Vexen, following after the scientist and heading straight for the Enchanted Dominion.


	77. Best Friends Forever

(I'm only updating right now because I love you guys that fucking much. You're so important to me, all of you, for giving me a reason to write this.

Right now I'm miserable, hurting, and desperate. Seriously, the world hurts. But I want to keep you guys happy and reading, so I don't care. ^^

Yeah, the Bastion crew makes its first appearance! Well sort of. Yes Cid knew Zack. Zack was a hero and besides Cid initially worked for ShinRa and BLAH BLAH BLAH YOU KNOW THE DRILL

I LIKE STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS IT IS FUN TO WRITE YES :D

FORESHADOWING OH NOES :O

Also yeah apart from that, this chapter is just one big ball of gooshy happiness and foreshadowing. LEA AND ISA ARE KYOOTS.

Also ironically I'm watching them in a cutscene atm. LEA. LEA. YOU. HAVE. NO. FASHION SENSE. OH MY GOD THOSE PANTS WITH THAT SCARF AND BRUSH YOUR HAIR BOY ISA GOD DAMMIT IF YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE CARE OF HIM TAKE CARE OF HIM /BETTER/ :(

...They kind of remind me of Calvin and Hobbes. Both in dynamic and how I write them. I dunno. There you go, something to chew on.

also where the hell are THEIR parents are they orphans too D: please don't be orphans D:

They're...you know, away. On business. In Guatemala. I have no idea. Although heaven help the mother or father that has to deal with those two. ^^;

So yep, Axel has been repressing a few things. D: Poor Axel. If only you and Xemnas could see that Saix can be shared! He's like a bed; it's always nicer when you share it with someone. :)

Unless that someone is Jason Vorhees and you're a camp counselor. Or if it's Freddy Kruger and you're asleep. Or WHATEVER. METAPHOR. IT STICKS. SHUTUP.

But yeah, Saix is a comfy bed. God I want to go to bed, speaking of. Eff the day man, I just want my ice cream.

I hope you all have an absolutely wonderful day today or tomorrow or wherever your timezone is. :)

Also Ceecee; don't be ashamed of spamming smilies. I obviously do it too. :D

Don't own!

Dedicated to whoever DID have to put up with baby Isa and Lea.)

* * *

Axel led Saix through the darkness and into Traverse Town, making sure that he was keeping himself steady and sane; Saix was still agitated about going on a mission without Xemnas, even if he was going with his best friend by his side.

Xemnas hadn't seemed too thrilled about the prospect of spending the day without him, but Saix certainly just couldn't disobey his master's orders...besides, he was with Lea! He had missed Lea desperately, and if anything, today would be a relief.

"You okay, puppy?" Axel asked, watching Saix start violently before turning to him with a weak, nervous smile on his face.

"Oh...of course, Lea. Forgive me, I'm getting distracted by my own thoughts. We should hurry, or the darkness could overtake us at any time." He murmured. Axel opened his mouth, ready to call Saix's bluff, but as he caught the agonized expression on his best friend's face, he simply nodded, beckoning to him as the two followed the pathway out of the darkness and into the light of Traverse Town.

The streets were quiet, even in mid-afternoon; the people of the town ambled through them slowly, eyes almost sliding over the sight of two men in black coats, shrugging it off with a mental brushing aside before they would turn back to their lives like nothing had happened. Saix was quiet, flicking his ears occasionally and trying to discern voices and noise.

"So he told me that he was actually going to go and see the movie with Dale, the bastard-after all the time I spent making dinner for him, he just brushes me off for "guys night," can you believe," A woman, discussing something with someone older than her-a sister, perhaps? Saix didn't know and didn't particularly care. He tilted his head back, focusing on the next sound he could pick up from the bustle, following behind Axel as the two of them deftly wove through the streets.

"Going to the band concert was so boring, I swear; they try to jazz it up with more modern stuff, but if you ask me, it's because half these goddamned plebes wouldn't know a proper piece by Stravinsky or Pachbel if it danced up and bit them in the ass." One girl, around seventeen, was eagerly discussing what was apparently a musical performance with her friend, who was off in his own world, dripping his coffee on the napkins around their table and watching the splatter patterns. Saix sighed. That was slightly more interesting, but still, it had nothing to do with the mission.

"Keyblade bearer-"

The voice was soft, hushed; probably female. Saix stiffened, but did not react any further, so as not to garner suspicion. He paused for a minute before beckoning hurriedly to Axel, who crept up behind him as Saix tensed up again and listened.

"It's him, all right. I saw it-the key, I mean-and the boy himself. He's exactly what we had hoped for, and his eyes-" The woman paused. A soft sob caught in her throat and reverberated throughout her words, although Saix figured he was the only one who could hear it as she whispered, "-his eyes were just like Zack's..."

Another voice, this one slightly rougher and definitely male, piped up; Saix heard the soft hiss of a cigarette being snubbed out before he spoke.

"Fuckin' hell, Aer, th' kid was like a fuckin' saint. You know it an' I know it. No wonder he looked like the puppy." The man said quietly. "Th' puppy was jes' another goddam angel, too."

Aer-the woman?-stifled further tears. A hand reached out to stroke her cheek; Saix heard the soft whisper of flesh on flesh, and the soft, determined intake of breath as the other man sighed.

"Sorry, kiddo. Prolly shouldn'a brought tha' up. Jes' thinkin' out loud." The man sounded genuinely contrite-for a minute, Saix envied him, this man he didn't know, for being able to feel real emotion. "Anyways, he'll be okay, righ'? It'd fuckin' suck fer all of us if the li'l fuckin' brat went off and got his ass killed deader than dead from the get-go." The man's words were slightly condemning, but there was true affection in them. This further annoyed Saix, who was starting to get more than slightly agitated at these humans and their emotions and the Keyblader, perhaps one of the ones that he had known and they wouldn't tell him-if his master was here he could make them talk-

Oh yes, if his master was here he could make them bleed until they talked, cut them all up into fine little bits until they decided to tell him who the boy was, and when he was done he would cut out their tongues, all just for his master, all on his master's orders, because talking led to emotions and Saix was _sick of emotions_-

Lea was holding his hand. Saix's eyes, already wild with berserker rage, had met his friend's own emerald ones; Lea's gaze was gentle and steady, and even though Lea was his friend and not his master, Saix felt the animalistic savagery and bloodlust boiling within him calm down as he inhaled deeply.

"You ready to keep snooping, puppy?" Axel whispered. Saix nodded, before he gave his friend's hand a quick squeeze as he tilted his head slightly and began to listen in upon the conversation again, hoping they hadn't changed topics.

"The boy..." Another woman now, with a slightly deeper, more husky voice, "I wasn't here, Aerith...and I need to know. Tell me, what was his name?"

The other woman answered without a moment's hesitation.

"Sora." She said firmly. "His name was Sora."

It was like everything across Axel's vision exploded all at once. His best friend had dissolved into pure light and sound beside him as the world screamed in agony, becoming perfection and pain and perfectly painful singing nerves of strings and lucky koi fish, like the kind he and Isa had won once at the fair-

_Sora_

_no not him, not Sora_

_a boy_

_another boy_

The boy who Axel had no name for was the source of all the perfectly painful colors and sounds-his eyes, like great big blossoming oceans in the storm, clear skies amidst a backdrop of hearts and pale white rain, like little bubbles that shimmered and flowed down his cheeks like manna from heaven.

The boy with no name was going to come from him-Sora-the boy, who would have to be a (Nobody), who would let someone flawed and heartless love them when they had that perfect little heart, and all Axel thought before he felt the world go black was that no kid with a Keyblade should have to suffer anymore, not after...

_Amateurs._

Gentle smile. Wooden swords. A promise and a bond.

The world hurt right now.

* * *

Saix grabbed Axel as he stumbled, shaking him violently while trying not to attract the attention he knew was going to follow. "Lea!" He hissed, trying to keep his voice down and listen at the same time, "Lea! Get up, Lea! We have to get going, or they'll hear us!" He snarled. Axel's eyelids fluttered, and he finally cracked open a single emerald eye.

"I-Isa?" He murmured, voice hoarse and faint. "Isa-puppy, I can't...promised..." He was muttering incoherently, speaking in alien tongues that Saix couldn't understand; however, no matter what he was rambling about, it all seemed to hinge on one word.

"Roxas?" Saix whispered. "Who is Roxas, Lea?"

Axel's eyes snapped open and he stood up straight, looking Saix in the eye before tugging on his coat frantically. "Puppy, what the hell are we doing here? We have to go! They're gonna hear us!" He hissed, leading his friend down the street as the two of them disappeared into an alleyway. Saix would have laughed at the reversal of roles if he hadn't felt so utterly bewildered. One minute, his friend was having what could only be described as a sort of seizure, and the next minute he was dragging Saix down an alleyway, ostensibly to protect them both.

Honestly, at this point, Saix just wanted to be back home in the study with his master.

Axel was panting heavily, flames leaping up around his fingertips as he looked around, eyes wild like a cornered animal's as his fingers drummed like frightened little spiders, thin chest heaving as he finally looked up at Saix. "Puppy?" He whispered. "What...what happened?" He asked. Saix whuffed, ruffling his friend's hair in an attempt to calm him down while he settled in next to him as Axel slid down the wall and landed with a soft thump on the cool grey stone beneath them.

"I could ask you the same thing, Lea." He replied. "You began to have some sort of..." Saix paused while he tried to find the best way to describe it without startling Axel, "I believe it was like some sort of panic attack. You were screaming, and before I could ask why, you began to talk." He said. Axel tilted his head, genuinely confused; Saix could see the shock written across his face which he knew most likely mirrored his own expression.

"About what, puppy? You have to understand, all I remember is realizing that we were both making too much noise to be that close to the group of people and stay subtle, and then I just dragged you back here. All this screaming and talking stuff is totally out of the blue for me." He said, leaning against his friend's shoulder and threading his fingers casually through the cobalt strands he had loved to pet.

God, when was the last time he had done this? He realized that now Isa was talking, but the shock of the realization hurt too much and cut too close to the quick for him to realize or care. Even after they came to the Organization, they had been apart, separated because of Xemnas...Xemnas, who had taken his puppy and stolen him away...Xemnas, who had left him alone every night without a friend to talk to, Xemnas, that bastard who had done nothing but ruin him and Isa ever since he laid his sights on them-

Xemnas had ruined other boys too, a little blonde boy with a gentle face and eyes like stars in the darkness-he was going to become a little blonde boy all from S-O-R-A

_R-O-X-A-S_

and Axel would be there MUST MUST MUST be there because if he wasn't careful Xemnas would steal that from him too-Xemnas would steal his boy, after taking his puppy away-

_No-_

"LEA!" Saix roared, startling Axel out of his thoughts. He jumped, looking, (ironically enough), like a startled, guilty puppy who had just been caught in the middle of trouble-making as he looked at Saix. He grinned weakly at Saix, all to no avail; the berserker always knew when Lea was drifting off, and he had just seen it happening again well enough.

"You know, I was trying to discuss what you were talking about. I was hoping for a reply, especially since you have been so obviously chatty lately, but I see I'm simply not important enough as whatever has caught your attention." Saix said coolly. Axel's eyes widened, and he watched in horror as Saix stood up and dusted his coat off before he turned to leave the alleyway.

"No, wait-puppy, please-oh god, puppy, please, no, no, no no no no no _ISA, ISA PLEASE DON'T GO, I DON'T WANT YOU STOLEN FOREVER, PLEASE!" _Axel screamed. At the sound of his horrified, frightened wail, Saix almost audibly snapped back to face him, meeting his eyes just in time to watch his best friend fall on his knees with agony brimming over in his eyes, tears of panic and misery trailing down his cheeks.

Saix had almost never seen Axel cry. He wasn't sure why Axel was crying now, but all he knew was that if nothing else, for all the times Lea had comforted him...he would be there for his friend. He knelt beside Axel without another thought, holding his hand as he ruffled his hair and stroked his back soothingly. Axel knew he didn't have to restrain himself around his puppy, and so he bawled his eyes out, doing his best to forget who he was as a man and a member of the Organization, and going back to the time where being nine had been the greatest thing in the world and he and Isa had been best friends forever.

Saix just held him, thinking the same thoughts as Axel; he had gone back to the time where being eleven meant that he could take care of Lea and keep him out of trouble, and where being friends with him was like being on the wildest ride of his life. When they had been best friends forever, life had been perfect.

"H-he took you from me." Axel murmured, trying frantically to dry his eyes as he looked up at Saix, hurt and panicking. "X-Xemnas took you from me, and s-stole you away, and n-now he won't ever give you back. A-and the b-boy, the boy I mean, Sora," the word itself seemed to affect Axel deeply, as he inhaled sharply once more and tried to steady more tears, "S-Sora. He would take S-Sora and steal him away, but then there would be another boy-this one would be mine, I mean, and if I wasn't careful, I knew Xemnas would take him away too, and I just-I can't lose anyone else." He whispered. All the fight left the normally cheerful and brash redhead almost instantaneously. He slumped against Saix and buried his face into his neck, loving the way the soft strands of hair curtained around him, almost as if they were sheltering him from the pain.

"You were my only friend in the whole wide world, puppy." He whispered. "You were my best friend forever. You made sure I didn't do anything s-stupid and get killed, a-and I always made sure you had fun and lived your life...I made sure you were happy..." He shuddered. "And now we don't have the hearts to do it." He muttered bitterly. Saix didn't know what to say, so he settled for a simple nod and continuing to stroke Axel's hair as his friend continued his lament.

"It's just...I mean, I lost you for so long because of the darkness...and then when I find you, you're with this guy...and I just...he..." Axel furiously wiped away further tears that seemed to be springing up to betray him. "He stole my puppy. I got lost and then he took you away from me, and I felt even more lost and hurt and alone. I know you love him; I'm your best friend, and I'm not stupid. But...it hurts. It hurts so god damn much to see you walk away from me every time, without fail, just to be with him. I love you too, Isa. I'm your best friend. I'm the one who watches over you. I'm the one who protects you and dries your tears and keeps your secrets...a-and now, with him there, an' him protecting you, and drying your goddamn tears, and keeping your secrets safe...what am I?" He snorted with disgust. "Besides, even now, I'm the one crying their eyes out on your shoulder and asking for protection. Who the hell am I anymore?" He whispered.

Saix was quiet for a minute. His hand never stopped stroking Axel's hair, and his fingers never stopped threading through the blazing red strands.

With a soft, sudden smile, he kissed Axel's forehead before he finally spoke up, holding his friend close and tight. "You're still my Lea." He said, and his voice was so honest and open that Axel could not doubt him, "I'm still your Isa. Xemnas might be...my...companion, and my master, but that doesn't mean I still don't need you or want you." He murmured. "People can have many protectors and guardians. Just because I have both of you now doesn't mean I have forgotten you." He paused, sighing softly. "Although you are right, Lea, I have been neglecting you as of late. I...I want to fix that. Because..." He hugged Axel tightly, and Axel stiffened for an instant; he hadn't been expecting a hug, and it had knocked him way off guard.

"Because you're my best friend." He whispered. "And no one could ever steal you away from me." He promised. Axel nodded, ignoring the tears in his eyes as he hugged Saix back, feeling his friend trembling with the emotions he was forced to deny as he held him close.

"I know, puppy." Axel whispered. "And no one is going to take you away from me, either." He replied. Saix nodded, grasping his hand and intertwining their fingers.

"Best friends forever?" Saix whispered.

Axel smiled, and for a second, it was Lea with his gap-toothed smile and innocent grin that smiled back at him.

"Best friends forever." He replied.


	78. Ave Maria

(THE TRUTH IS REVEALED OMFG :O

Also, I love you all so much. :) I'm much better now-thankfully, I have learned how to cope, kyu. ^^; But trust me, your love and support is totally not forgotten and is part of the reason why I CAN cope, so thank you so much for everything you all do for me. :)

Also seriously lol Isa. After Lea gets his ass kicked by Ven? "Lolol L FOR LOSER" like oh my god he's like me from the nineties. I expected them to go "PSYCHE!" ...NOT!

Seriously. Like, my god. Nineties kids. ^^; OMFG ISA HAD A LISA FRANK COLLECTION god I hope so that image is fucking great

Xigbar just likes publicly having his way with his lover. It's both lol-worthy and adorable. Also he is a total slut. And it is awesome. FLY YOUR FREAK FLAG HIGH XIGBAR :D

I love the idea of random people-you know, no one special in a HEY LOOK AT ME I'M KEYBLADE JESUS sort of way-just kind of commenting on the insanity of the Keyblade Jesuses and Eco-Terrorist Emopants with Schizophrenia and Crazy Hair. My love shines through here. :D Bob and Dennis ftw.

Yeah their names are Bob and Dennis. In ancient Greece.

No, YOU shut up.

PSYCHE!

...I personally apologize for any eyeballs that rolled out of your heads.

...NOT!

Okay I'll stop I swear to god.

Annnyways, Keyblade Jesus is a great band name. I will front any band called Keyblade Jesus. :D

Also playing another game alongside BBS; Lunar Legend. It's the GBA remake, and it's pretty neat. But I'm stuck on one of the bosses because it is a fucking nightmare to beat. /groan/ Back to the ol' grind for me...

So that's mostly it for the moment. I hope you all have a great day! :) Just so you know, I think you're all really neat, wonderful people. ^^

Don't own~

Dedicated to Kiki. I love you, hun. This will all work out.)

* * *

Xigbar yawned and stretched out in the burning Grecian sunlight, sighing with pleasure as he leaned his head back and laid against the olive tree that he and Demyx had found. He loved the feel of the burning rays on his skin that perfectly complemented the sound of swords clashing and the hisses and jeers of the audience. He was at peace, more than content to laze about; Demyx was curled up in the crook of his shoulder and his hip, leaning against his stomach and strumming Peggy with languid, gentle strokes across her strings. They hadn't found out anything in the time they had spent in the Coliseum, and thus, they were lounging about outside the gates, listening to the words of passers-by and catching snatches of gossip.

Demyx broke off a piece of the jelly pastry he had gotten at the match and pressed a delicate powdered piece to Xigbar's lips. He gave his kitten a teasing glance before darting his tongue across the powder, licking it off and lapping at the tips of Demyx's fingers before he sucked the pastry from in between his delicate musician's fingers. Demyx squeaked, wriggling against Xigbar's side in an absolutely adorable manner that almost made Xigbar's teeth physically ache to watch.

"Xiggy, what if someone sees!" He squealed. "Plus, you got my fingers all sticky." He added, wrinkling his nose as Xigbar simply stuck his tongue out at him. He pouted, flicking Xigbar's forehead. The gunner laughed as he ruffled Demyx's hair and gave him a quick kiss before holding Demyx tight in his embrace.

"This is Greece, kitten." He replied before gesturing to the crowds of people, all of whom milled about them without even noticing their presence. "The people here have probably seen way worse than an old, scarred bastard and a cute little musician making out just on their way to work in the mornings." Demyx nodded as he giggled at Xigbar's smirk just before leaning in for another kiss and settling in against his chest again, ready to start playing Peggy and enjoy his cake with Xigbar without shame.

Demyx had just barely begun to play before Xigbar held up a finger, pressing it to Demyx's lips. "Hush, kitten." He whispered. "I heard something." Xigbar's eye was narrowed, and Demyx could already see a snarl curling at the edges of his lips. Demyx shushed Peggy and curled up closer to Xigbar, slightly on edge as Xigbar's temper seemed to be growing. Something was wrong, and until he understood what it was, he had to stay quiet and hope Xigbar wouldn't get vicious.

Xigbar focused his hearing and his sharp gaze on two men that were sitting outside the Coliseum doors and chatting to one another while they discussed the match from just before he and Demyx had arrived.

"You saw that kid, right? The one with the weird weapon?" The first one asked, gesturing with his hands to indicate a huge sword as he talked. The other man wrinkled his nose, confused.

"You mean that freaky blonde in black with the massive butcher knife for a sword? Yeah, that was pretty weird. Wonder what blacksmith made that sort of thing for him; no warrior I know would go around swinging that about." He muttered. The other man shook his head.

"No, not that one! There was another guy, a lot younger, crazy brown hair, zippers all over the place. You know, one of those weird foreign kids. He had this giant key-thing, and I'll be honest with you, I have no clue what he was thinking he could do with that thing. I mean, a key? The kid would have been flattened in a minute..." The two men kept up their conversation, but Xigbar had already tuned them out. He knew what he had to know already.

And another thing he knew?

"I'm going to kill that son of a bitch." Xigbar whispered. The noise made Demyx start slightly and look up at him, confused by his lover's snarl.

"Xiggy? You know we have to stop killing things in every world we visit. Our room's starting to smell like death. Or a really bad cheeseburger." He frowned. "Oh, and Xemnas said not to, I guess." He added halfheartedly. Xigbar snarled again, even louder this time, which just made Demyx clutch Peggy for comfort.

Xigbar wasn't usually that scary; or if he was, Demyx never saw it. He only saw his angel and his lover. But there were times when even he had to admit that Xigbar was terrifying. This was one of those times, and Demyx had to tread carefully around Xigbar until he knew what had made him so angry.

"Xemnas is the one in trouble right now, Demyx." He murmured. "And Xemnas is in trouble because he could have gotten us killed."

Demyx was still confused. "Xiggy, please, you have to stop and explain! I don't know what's going on any more...Xiggy, please..." He begged, tugging on Xigbar's sleeve. There was a pause as the Freeshooter seemed to be wrestling with something inside him, but with a sudden pivot he turned and brought Demyx close to him, burying his lover's face into his chest as he shook with fear and agony.

"He could have gotten you killed." Xigbar whispered. "I could have watched you die, kitten. I got so scared..." He shook his head. "I'll explain later. Right now, we have to get home. I want you to go straight up to our room with Peggy and get under the covers. Don't you come out for anyone or anything until I come back for you. Go, Demyx." He murmured. Demyx fidgeted, unsure of what to do. Xigbar kissed him, and the fierce passion and mix of fear worried Demyx beyond what he could express.

"_Go,_ Demyx." Xigbar repeated. Demyx nodded silently and kissed his lover again before disappearing into the darkness. Xigbar disappeared behind him an instant later, already thinking of the many different ways he was going to chew Xemnas out after this nightmare was over and done with for good.

* * *

Xemnas sighed as he absentmindedly nipped at his fingers, chewing on the skin as he paced the floor. He knew it was a bad habit, and normally, he didn't indulge in such lunatic nervous tics, but Saix was still gone, and he figured that without their precious, beloved, sainted, blessed puppy by their side, a fretting master had more than enough right to storm around the castle and chew on their cuticles if they damn well felt like it.

He heard a corridor of darkness swirl up behind him, and he almost screamed in happiness before he turned around in the hopes of finally getting to see Saix.

Unfortunately, Xigbar was the only man in front of him now, and he did not look pleased to see him. Xemnas schooled his expression and nodded, acknowledging his brother. "Braig." He murmured. "You're home rather early. Where is Demyx?"

Xigbar just sneered, giving Xemnas a look that would have frozen the blood of a lesser man. Even Xemnas now watched Xigbar with slight trepidation in his eyes; his brother was pissed off beyond a shadow of a doubt, and whatever it was, he was going to have to get it out of his system before Xemnas could even hope to have a reasonable conversation with him.

"Would you mind telling me why you almost got us all killed searching for a Keyblade Knight, Xehanort?" Xigbar said, his tone deceptively soft and gentle, hiding absolute venom and rage. Xemnas swallowed as his mind reeled with the shock of what he had just said. How could Braig have known-he just wanted to make sure there was truly nothing to worry about-

"It was an accident." Xemnas blurted out, and he almost immediately afterwards kicked himself for saying it. He knew full well he sounded like a petulant child, but that was the truth; he hadn't meant for anyone to know! He inhaled, shaking his head. "What I meant was, there had been some evidence that I have been studying over the past few days, but nothing substantial, which is why I sent you out into the field! I wanted information or possible locations; hell, even pure gossip and speculation would have at least given me something to work with!" He snapped. Xigbar laughed; it was a cold, dark, harsh sound that bordered on the laugh of a madman, and it worried Xemnas more than he cared to admit, even to himself.

"So you sent us out without telling us what we were looking for? How was that supposed to help, Xeh-Xeh? What were you expecting us to find? Why the fuck didn't you tell us there was a fucking _Keyblade Knight _that somehow, despite all of the odds against them, has apparently been chosen by the Keyblade and is now running across the goddamn worlds doing god-only-knows-what? I think we have a fucking right to know if we are going out there just to put ourselves in danger from an enemy half of us haven't even heard of!" He snarled. Xemnas managed to laugh.

"Would you rather have me explain to our newer members that one of our greatest threats is what is in all probability a young teenager that is running around with a giant key? Are we or are we not above a giant key, Braig?" He said wryly. Xigbar snarled.

"Cut the fucking shit, Xeh. You know what those goddamn things can do. You've seen what happens when you dick around with a Keyblade Knight! Are you actually telling me you didn't even think to let us know?" He spat. Xemnas held up his hands in a gesture of surrender, not wanting to enrage the gunner further.

"All right. You're right, Braig, and I'm sorry. It was a stupid decision, and I can accept that. I just didn't want to put any of you on edge and possibly jeopardize the mission, in and of itself, by warning you of something that I wasn't even sure existed..." He sighed. "Are you or Demyx hurt in any way?" He asked. Xigbar shrugged, the rage in him abating slowly as he regarded his brother.

"Uh-uh, Xeh. I just got scared for Demyx's sake. Hell, you would have done the same if you had been there with the puppy, huh?" He shook his head. "Those goddamn Knights are always a threat, Xeh. That's too much power for one person to hold." He swallowed. "Do you think the darkness will actually fuck with this one? Do you think he'll come out of all the 'destiny and fate' crap unscathed?" He asked. Xemnas shrugged.

"I really don't know. The part of me that believes that the Keyblade always chooses wisely also believes that whoever this new Knight is, they will do well, even against all the obstacles that will stand in their way. The part of me that knows destiny is not always perfect and that both humans and hearts are flawed...that part of me worries, very much so." He murmured. Xigbar sighed, hugging him tightly.

"I guess. Don't string yourself out over it too much, Xeh-Xeh. We're all safe, as far as I know, and I'm sure the puppy's going to be coming home soon. Go up to your room and wait for him, Xemnas." Xigbar ordered. It was a gentle "I'm your older brother and I know best" order, and the familiar tone of Xigbar's voice made Xemnas relax in his embrace. "Get some hot chocolate for the both of you, get a stack of books for you to read to him, and don't come out until tomorrow. Don't let him go, got it?" He reminded him. Xemnas nodded. Xigbar grinned as he ruffled his hair. "There we go. Atta boy, Xeh-Xeh." He teased. Xemnas settled for sticking out his tongue at Braig and ignoring his uproarious laughter before tugging his brother's ponytail.

"I suppose you're going to attend to Demyx?" He asked. Xigbar nodded.

"Oh, yeah. If you hear anyone else come in, tell them we're home, 'kay? I would prefer if you didn't tell Didi there's a Keyblade Knight running around and destroying "agents of the darkness" without mentioning I'm home safe and sound first." He said wryly. Xemnas winced.

"Fair enough. I'll be upstairs if you need me, Braig." He replied. Xigbar nodded as he ruffled his hair one last time before disappearing into the darkness to relax with Demyx. Xemnas sighed in exasperated amusement before he headed downstairs and went straight into the kitchen to make hot chocolate in advance, already anxiously awaiting the moment when his puppy returned to the castle and came back to stay in his arms.

Xemnas couldn't help but smile at the thought as he prepared the drinks, already feeling eager and content.


	79. Shielding a Flower

(Oh god, I hate to say it, but once again, I come to you in pain. To sum up a long story short; because my mother is a horrid woman, she is basically taking my siblings down to Disney World without me. Because I got to go "visit my boyfriend" (because seeing your BOYFRIEND is OBVIOUSLY a "special treat" rather than a part of my fucking LIFE), she is leaving me behind. She told me to my face that I didn't deserve it.

So that's why I might not be too peppy over the weekend. Or for awhile after. I don't mean to do it, but...well, the last time I went to Disney was a nightmare, to put it succinctly, and I wanted to have a happier trip...something to make that memory less ookie. /sigh/ I know I'm like sixteen and it's totally pathetic to still want to go to Disney, but god damn, considering all that my "childish" self went through, I want to give the little girl in me something good. She deserves that much.

Annnd since I am totally sure that updates are more important to you than my wangst, I'll go on. ^^;

Right, so, nat. Jesus christ. I am blushing STILL from those reviews. Don't ever think you're "inconsequential!" I cherish each and every little review I get; sometimes they're the only things I get in an entire day that make me smile. :) So don't be shy about speaking up-every word you share with me counts~

Now. As to what you were discussing; without spoiling anything, haha, yeah. The 'blader was a dangerous threat, which I don't think any of them fully comprehended. An ADULT might have been safer, since they would more likely be corruptible from darker influences, considering no offense to any adults reading this, but you guys get jaded really fast. Teenagers are probably the WORST people EVER to try to manipulate, and I say this AS a teenager. You don't control us. We will resist control and bitch at you and make your life a living hell and more often than not we'll fuck with all the attempts you try to spring on us. Xeh should have known better. ^^;

And yeah, poor Vexen. Frozen Pride doesn't get enough love. Plus the SYMBOLISM! The cool design! The prettyful colors! The fact that it's Vexen's and that alone means you must PRAISE IT. ON YOUR KNEES.

Also Vexen is such a friggin' Tsundere in this part. I WANT YOU TO BE SAFE BUT NOT BECAUSE I _LIKE _YOU OR ANYTHING YOU STUPID JERK I mean christ just make a move Vexen you're killing the poor man here.

Also one, that flower image-aww. The look on his face in my head? Perfection. Just a "surprised kitten! :O" face and AWWW~ Adowables.

Two, nice imagery with the beakers, Vexen. /grin/ Haha like you would really DO IT.

Although I love how he doesn't actually ever upbraid Marluxia for giving him all those pet names. HE SECRETLY LIKES THEM well obviously but still HE LIKES THEM SCANDALOUS

So yeah, that's it for this chapter. I might not update tomorrow, because I'll be at a friend's house, but definitely Saturday. Either way, have a wonderful last day of the school/work week~!

Don't own KH.

Dedicated to Mickey Mouse. Wait for me, okay? I promise I'll come visit as soon as I can...)

* * *

Vexen sighed, looking at the bramble-covered gates. He and Marluxia had appeared in what was probably the most run-down and unkempt part of the Enchanted Dominion. It was absolute nonsense; not only was he stuck here with Marluxia, but he was stumbling over branches and brambles and generally being dragged through hell for no real reason. There couldn't possibly be any source of the magic that kept this land so deadlocked and mired in endless sleep around here; no one had probably lived here in centuries, let alone fallen asleep on top of these thorns!

Marluxia chewed his lip in thought, delicately caressing the brambles and thorns and murmuring something to them. He stood back and beckoned to Vexen, and the scientist turned around just in time to watch them turn into new, budding vines that were fresh and green and bursting with life. Vexen gave Marluxia an odd look, but the botanist simply shrugged.

"I just thought it would make you smile." He offered. Vexen looked away, hurriedly mumbling something about the mission objectives and leaving the world the way that they had found it, but Marluxia saw a small, almost invisible smile creep across his face, if only for an instant, as a blush flared up on his cheeks. Marluxia smirked. Well, Vexen might still be searching the world but his mission had just been accomplished.

"So what now, Vexen? Should we open the gates? There's probably at least a mansion back there, or perhaps even a village. There would have to be something for the gate to protect, I mean, wouldn't you agree?" Marluxia asked. Vexen nodded, pressing his hand against the decrepit, sordid, rusting metal and pushing on it, feeling the gate almost crumbling underneath his hands as it swung open to welcome them in to the grounds.

"There has to be something, yes." He murmured. "As for what that something is, I'm not sure. However, since I have been on scouting missions before, and as such, am more experienced, I am telling you right now; if something happens, you go and save yourself. I would rather that you, with all your inexperience, not get in my way." He said. Marluxia rolled his eyes, giving Vexen a lazy, wicked grin.

"Aww, one would almost think you were more worried about if I got hurt in a fight, hmm? I do believe that_ is_ the impression the peanut gallery would get, sweetie pie." He teased. He saw Vexen clutching Frozen Pride's handle until his knuckles were tight against bone, and tried not to laugh. "But of course, I'm sure I, with my actual weapon, will do horribly in the field. Simply terrible. Why, I've never even handled anything sharp and deadly in my entire life." He purred. Vexen narrowed his eyes.

"A shield works just damn fine. Just because I don't want to go in like you or Xigbar with my weapons blazing and bloodlust screaming through my mind and hindering my ability to be rational and reasonable doesn't mean I can't hold my own in a battle!" He snapped back at Marluxia, looking for all the world like a little offended kitten; a tiny little fluffball puffing itself up as its only method of defense. Marluxia thought it was the cutest thing he had ever seen in his entire life, but for once in his existence, bit his tongue and settled for giving Vexen a cocky grin.

The scientist grumbled for the rest of the trip, purposefully slamming his shield into obstacles just to prove a point. While Frozen Pride did not have the level of sentience that Peggy did, Vexen still took pride in her and treated her well; in return, she was a fine companion in battle, no matter what Marluxia said!

_Why do you care what Marluxia says? Are you worried he'll think less of you? _A little teasing voice resounded in his head. He glared at the dirt path, somehow blaming it for all his troubles. Marluxia was still laughing, and Vexen was suddenly seized with the wonderful idea of beating him over the head with Frozen Pride. See how he liked it when the shield in question came down across his head. (Of course, not that he was condoning violence-even though Marluxia totally had it coming-he was just doing it for, you know, science. Pain was part of science.)

He honestly might have at least "accidentally" made sure Marluxia walked right into his shield, except that the botanist actually outright gasped suddenly, shaking his shoulder and pointing forward, up the mountain that loomed in front of them.

A huge castle stood on the edge of the mountain, tall and imposing for all its' stonework and stalwart borders and defenses. Marluxia and Vexen glanced at each other for a minute.

"We're going to have to climb up there, aren't we." Marluxia said. It wasn't a question, but Vexen nodded anyway before he started up the path.

"I'm afraid so, yes." He replied.

Marluxia just groaned, following after Vexen.

Vexen tried not to smile, but he had actually decided against hitting the daft brat with Frozen Pride. He had probably already been through enough, and watching him suffer up the pathway was both punishment and entertainment enough for the both of them, respectively.

As the two of them continued up the mountain, Marluxia had let plants wind up around his feet and bud, bursting into bloom as they walked. Vexen sighed; he didn't want to discourage Marluxia, not in the least because traipsing up the dirt paths was putting Marluxia in a very nasty mood, but also because part of him simply liked the blooming flowers. They were tiny little wildflowers, no bigger than his finger nail, but they managed to delight him in an odd sort of way.

Of course, he would never even dream of telling Marluxia such a thing. The botanist would never let him live it down, he was absolutely sure of it. He simply continued along the path without another word. Unfortunately, since he was so focused on the castle looming in front of them, this meant that Marluxia could sneak up behind him.

With a single pale blue wildflower in his hand, Marluxia pounced, sticking the little blue flower behind Vexen's ear as the scientist jumped about a foot into the air. He shot Marluxia a vicious glare before he realized just exactly what the botanist had done. His hand reached up to caress the pale ice-blue flower hesitantly as he fingered the delicate petals. He looked to Marluxia for an explanation, but the other man simply smiled.

"It goes well with your eyes." He explained. "Plus, it looks nice with your hair. It doesn't clash or anything." He offered by way of explanation. Vexen just raised an eyebrow and sighed in amusement.

"All right, if you insist. There are different ways to hand someone a flower, however, Marluxia." He muttered. Marluxia simply grinned at him, ruffling his hair as Vexen swatted his hand away, which just made him laugh out loud.

"Well, my way is rather fun. Plus it's for the good of my training, obviously." His smirk grew wider. "After all, being able to sneak up on an enemy is a useful skill, is it not?" Vexen glared viciously at him, but Marluxia managed to stifle giggles until he finally purred, "So, Vexen, how's that shield working out for you?"

Okay, screw science. This was just for the purpose of _pain. _

Marluxia's giggles were cut off as Vexen smacked him with Frozen Pride and stormed up the path. He turned around for a second, only to shout, "It's working out _quite well_, thank you!"

Marluxia ran up the path after him, not wanting to admit that the scientist had actually won that round. He sniffed delicately, brushing the dust off his jacket and acting like Vexen didn't exist. Vexen couldn't help but smile at the botanist's antics; if nothing else, Marluxia may have been a flirtatious, seductive, persistent bastard, but being around him was certainly never boring.

The two walked up towards the doors of the castle in silence and relative peace, managing to stay within two feet of each other without Marluxia trying to have his way with him or Vexen to push him off the path and down into the briar patch in retaliation.

The door was weathered and covered with dried ivy and brambles; it was obviously old, enough so that Marluxia only had to use Graceful Dahlia as an axe for one swing. The door collapsed into firewood beneath the scythe, and Marluxia gave Vexen a smug look. "Now look what a real weapon can do, sweetie pie." He purred.

Vexen could have strangled him. "If you ever call me sweetie pie again, I will carve your lungs out with the blunt end of a beaker and impale them on your own spine." He snarled. Marluxia just grinned.

"All right, sweetheart. Anything you say." He purred.

Vexen was starting to regret not having killed him while he had the chance.


	80. Run Away From Here

(OH NOES IT'S A CLIFFHANGER

Although if you can't guess who it is you might not have ever seen Sleeping Beauty like ever. ^^;

Marluxia is so pushy pushy pushy although can you REALLY blame him? I love you Vexen but by now I think even I might have hit you. Also I love how Marluxia tries to emulate Lexaeus pledging himself to Larxene but of course FISSION MAILED. :D

Cannot stop listening to Danger Days. Should stop. Will NEVER stop. Oh MCR. :3

Okay so Lunar Legend is an okay game so far but JESSICA. JESSICA. SHE. IS. ADORABLE. I AM TAKING HER HOME WITH ME. :D

And yeah anyways, I love when Vexen finally gets bitchy. Sometimes he just needs to let loose and bitch and rave at Marluxia. He's learning, he's learning. ^^

He's done so many destructive things For Science, hasn't he? I just keep making up more and more insane shit for him to pull. Oh like it surprises any of you at this point anyway. Also still laughing at his brothers being so quick to sell him out. Tut tut.

SELF-AWARE OF MY OWN TENDENCIES MUCH THERE AREN'T I. I'm not as bad as some fics I've seen, where you would think the Organization had never even held a fucking weapon in their entire lives. ^^;

So yeah, I think that's it for the moment. Even knew Aurora existed, yeah. I figure Ansem travelled to the worlds with them often, considering you know, pursuit of knowledge and all that. And if he didn't, well FUCK YOU CANON NOW.

I really am my own continuity at this point. And I don't even care. OOC=irrelevant. I never liked having them entirely in character anyway. If I wanted them entirely in character I'd go replay the game, you know? Also don't worry nat, I wasn't offended- it was a major compliment, trust me. :)

Don't own KH~!

Dedicated to um, everyone! Haven't done that in awhile...)

* * *

The two of them managed to step inside the castle without arguing, and upon seeing it in its entirety, the both of them bit back a sudden gasp. It was beautiful in a broken-down, lonely sort of way. The walls were warped and grey with age and weathering, while the floors were covered in wild vines and brambles, which rustled in the wind as Marluxia pushed open the window. The panes of glass fell away and shattered on the floor. The two men jumped, the sudden sound startling them out of their stupor. Once they realized they had been startled by the simple sound of breaking glass, the two shared a sheepish grin before turning around and searching the room for stairs.

The only stairs they could see were the ones that seemed to climb up the tallest spiraling tower; the rest of the room was bare, oddly enough. Vexen frowned. "It seems rather odd to only have one staircase, doesn't it?" He thought aloud, not noticing Marluxia walking up beside him until the other man spoke up in reply.

"I agree." He murmured, tracing the walls and letting flowers bloom in the cracks. "It seems like a rather particular design flaw, doesn't it?" He frowned, brow furrowed in thought. "Unless it wasn't a flaw. Maybe this was their intention...but why?" He mused. "There are other perfectly good towers to use. It seems silly not to put stairways there." He said. Vexen shook his head.

"Unless they didn't want to give someone a place to hide." He said, the epiphany hitting him with an almost visible shock. Marluxia turned to him, tilting his head.

"Come again?" He asked, wrinkling his nose with confusion. Vexen nodded.

"Teacher once told us about castles that would be built along one linear path, so as to make it harder for assassins or thieves to hide; doors would simply be painted on or outright bricked up. However, he said that the only few kings that had done it were either mad or desperate to hide something. And they were obviously always hiding something important." He gestured up the stairs. "So what's up there, then? What do you think could be up there that would cause someone to go to all this trouble? Who would hide something away behind seas of brambles and thorns, concealing all hopes of getting out without anyone discovering their presence first? What drives a man to do that?" He mused. Marluxia shot him a lazy grin, already half-way up the steps.

"Don't know." He replied, climbing the steps. "Let's find out, shall we?"

Vexen swore, bolting after him. "You idiot! We can't just go rushing into what might be a potentially dangerous, even lethal, situation without even making a plan! Are you insane?" He howled. "You're going to get yourself killed!" Marluxia turned around at his words, and Vexen blinked in shock as he felt a sharp, sudden pulsing in his chest.

"What do you care?" He said softly. "Wouldn't that just make things so much easier for you?"

Vexen stared at him for a minute, unsure of what to say. Once he finally found the words to say and the courage to speak them, the soft, almost pleading note to his voice startled them both.

"Please don't go." He murmured. "If you died..." He trailed off. "If you died, I'd be left here alone."

The unspoken words of "I need you" rung in the air as the scientist and the botanist stared at each other. Marluxia swallowed as a soft, gentle pulsing built up in his chest. Vexen shook his head. "For the good of the mission-and, well, for your own safety-you have to stay with me." He said. Marluxia nodded.

Without warning, he drew his scythe, presenting it to Vexen. The academic started slightly with shock until he realized Marluxia had held the handle out to him. "Put your hand on it." He ordered. Vexen shook his head.

"Wait, what-Marluxia-" He stammered a half-hearted retort before Marluxia held up his hand and silenced his feeble protests.

"Put your hand on it, Vexen. Please." He murmured. The blonde had no choice; he put his hand across the handle, watching as Marluxia took his own hand and placed it on top of his. Vexen couldn't deny the simple fact that the feel of Marluxia's hand on his made his mind reel and his blood sing; it wasn't even emotion, just pure sensation.

"I am here to protect you." Marluxia said. "You are my doll, my baby, my beautiful little sweetheart. And I promise right here and right now that I'll always keep you safe, heal your wounds, and dry your tears. You are mine, Vexen, and it's time you started letting me treat you that way." He purred. Vexen blushed, yanking his hand away from the scythe as he stormed up the steps.

"I'm_ not _yours, you rotten bastard!" He snapped. "I am sick and tired of you coming into my life and treating me like I'm a goddamn puppet for you to use and do with as you please!" He snarled at him, not noticing Marluxia's flinch of pain. "I'm not just a whore that's going to drop her panties for you, o lord-and-master. If that's what you want from me, then you can just go to hell right now." He said quietly. Marluxia would have been more hurt if he hadn't heard the pain behind Vexen's words. He almost laughed with relief, but he managed to hold it in since he knew it would only make matters worse.

"Oh, sweetie." He whispered. "I don't want you for your body alone, despite the fact that your beauty enchants me. I want you, my delicate little porcelain doll, because I have never coveted another as perfect as you in both body and soul." He reached out and caressed Vexen's cheek, pulling away before the academic could slap his hand away and snarl at him. "You are the most beautiful little thing I have ever laid eyes on and I am going to keep you safe and protect you whether you like it or not, because frankly, Vexen, you have no say in the matter. You are _my doll_, and I don't want anyone or anything breaking my precious little baby." He purred, stroking Vexen's hair and playing with the delicate, silky strands.

Vexen tried to argue, he really did; he could almost hear the retorts growing in his mind and blossoming in his throat, but if there was one thing he had learned about Marluxia, it was that he did not want to be argued with, _ever._ Once the pink-haired son of a bitch set his mind to something, neither hell nor high water was getting him to change his mind. He sighed.

"I don't know what to tell you." He said. "I'm not worth it. I'm no one's doll, and if you try to play with me, you'll be disappointed." He gave him a sad, pained smirk as he laughed softly. "I have nothing to give you, Marluxia. There's nothing for you to take away."

Marluxia shook his head. "I don't-I don't want to take anything from you!" He shouted, running his hands through his hair and groaning in exasperation. "I want to give you _everything_! I want to give you everything you deserve, Vexen! All you could ever want is right here with_ me_! You're only sheltering yourself for some stupid reason that I'm not even sure you yourself can name or understand!" He slammed his fist against the wall, sighing in frustration before meeting Vexen's eyes. "You deserve the world. All I'm asking for is the right to give it to you."

Vexen just stared. Marluxia hadn't dropped his gaze, and was still watching Vexen with his sharp, piercing azure eyes. Vexen didn't know what to say. Marluxia finally spoke for him as he turned around and headed up the stairs. "For the record, my beautiful little doll," he purred, "nothing you can do or say will stop me. Nothing will change until you do."

With his cryptic advice dispensed, Marluxia headed up the last flight of stairs as Vexen was left to stare at his retreating back before gathering his wits about him and storming up the stairs after him.

The two continued on in silence for the rest of the last flight of stairs. Marluxia left his scythe out and drawn, knife's edge glinting as if it was responding to its owner's possessive rage. Vexen wouldn't admit that it was mostly for the purpose of spiting Marluxia, but he kept Frozen Pride out and by his side as well, making sure the shield was safe and situated properly on his arm before edging his way past Marluxia and shoving open the door that lay ahead of them.

He couldn't help the lump in his throat that formed as he stared at the room that lay in front of them. Marluxia had come up behind him, and for once, the other man was stunned into silence along with him.

Despite the wear and weathering around the other parts of the castle, this room was nigh-on immaculate. It was as if they had gone through a time warp and come out the other side; everything looked as fresh and new as the day it had been brought into the castle. It was a perfect complement to the one lone figure in the room; a young blonde woman asleep in bed that lay in the center of the room.

Marluxia made to move in front of Vexen, but the elder man held him back as he pinned him with a ferocious glare. "I doubt a sleeping girl would be a threat, Number XI," he murmured coolly, "and as a scientist, it is my duty to examine her first." He said, already procuring a notebook from his coat's inner pockets and breezing over to the young girl. Marluxia rolled his eyes and gave him a look of amused contempt before following after him.

Vexen had found a pen in his perusals of his jacket, and was now scribbling notes down onto the well-worn paper. "I do believe I remember this one." He murmured. "Princess Aurora...yes, that's the girl. She was put into sleep after sixteen years of hiding from Maleficent...imagine that." He said, tracing her delicate cheekbone. "I wonder how it would feel to be one hundred and sixteen years old. To wake up...and see that all of this has come to ruin around your feet." He whispered. Marluxia shrugged.

"I figure she wouldn't notice or care much." He replied. "After all, it doesn't seem like any one else in this world is awake. Perhaps that's just part of the curse." He sighed. "But in a way, that makes it worse. I mean, one hundred years of the world just passing you by? How do you wake up and go about your business after that?" He mused. Vexen shrugged.

"They would probably ask us how we woke up and went about our business after losing our hearts." He replied. Marluxia nodded.

"True." He agreed. "So you're saying we wouldn't have an answer for one another? Either of us?" He offered. Vexen nodded, examining Aurora for a pulse as the tip of his tongue poked out between his lips, signifying he was deep in thought. (Marluxia found the gesture almost achingly adorable, but he knew Vexen well enough by now that he didn't mention it.._.quite_ yet.)

"I don't think anyone could give someone an answer for how they just keep going." He murmured. "Perhaps it's because none of us understand what really makes us fight to survive each day." He set down Aurora's wrist and started on her neck, gently running his fingers across it as he looked for a pulse, however faint. "After all, look at all of us; twelve people who have absolutely no right to exist get up every day and do just that, most often in rather spectacular ways." He told Marluxia. The botanist nodded, a wry smile gracing his pale pink lips.

"And I assume you mean "spectacular" in the sense that Xigbar brings home technicolor pelts smeared with the blood of throngs of innocent children, Xemnas soliloquizes for what might actually be around an hour per meeting, and that about three-fourths of our most wholesome inhabitants spend half of their days indulging in not-so-wholesome pastimes. Is that what you consider spectacular, Vexen?" He teased. Vexen glared at him, finally standing up and concluding that Aurora was not, in fact, dead.

"That isn't at all what I meant, you idiot!" He snapped. "You don't think it's extraordinary in the least that we survived the onslaught of the darkness' power due only to the strength of our hearts? That could be the key towards regaining them, and all you're concerned about is petty trivialities?" He shot back at the other man, eyes narrowed with frustration and disgust. Marluxia shrugged and managed to ignore the harsh glare that Vexen had fixed upon him.

"The petty trivialities are what make life interesting. Sure, we have lives, but spending them like we're just test subjects and living like we're in purgatory is boring." He said flatly. "I would much rather enjoy my life than lose myself in my studies." He added, giving Vexen a clearly mocking smirk. "And I don't think you've recognized that, Vexen." He was cornering Vexen against the wall now, grinning wickedly. "You've trapped yourself in a lab rat's cage for far too long, my icy little doll. You've yet to do anything...spectacular...have you?" He purred, caressing the scientist's cheek with a cheshire smirk written all over his face.

Vexen swallowed, fighting down the vicious blush that threatened to spill across his cheeks. "I...I don't l-like what you're insinuating, M-Marluxia." He snapped, but the grin Marluxia treated him to made the academic entirely sure that his threat had been weak-willed at best. "I...I've done many more useful, important things." He replied. Marluxia shrugged.

"I suppose if you count raising hamsters from the dead, building cyborg crocodiles, vivisecting rabbits, almost nuking the entirety of Radiant Garden with nothing more than a sweet potato, a ball of twine, and a jar of clotted cream, creating unicorns for the sole purpose of stopping a seven year old's temper tantrum, turning your castle into a fully functioning computer hub that rose up and tried to destroy your entire family before you built _another _self-sufficient computer to combat it, and building giant robots for the sole purpose of making someone else go to the store and buy you chocolate as useful and important, then yes, you most certainly have." He said wryly. Vexen narrowed his eyes and pushed the botanist away, giving him a haughty sniff of disgust.

"Those were most certainly useful and important!" He snapped. "Also, who _told _you about those?" He asked, suddenly realizing what Marluxia had actually said and how much Marluxia knew. The botanist laughed.

"Your brothers." He offered. Vexen's eye twitched involuntarily. Marluxia shook his head and hid a grin from the older man, who was now puffing up like an offended little kitten. "Anyway, it's not important. We'll have time for many more spectacular activities later." He said cheerfully. "For now-"

"Just _what _do you mean by spectacular, Marluxia, because if you think-"

"-_For now, _we must continue examining this room." Marluxia finished, ignoring Vexen's squawk of protest as he rifled through the drawers in the dresser beside Aurora's bed. The scientist grumbled, turning around and rifling through the cabinets.

The two worked in relative silence and peace for awhile, content to examine the contents of the room and attempt at gathering all the information on Aurora that they could.

Suddenly, as Vexen flipped open a new journal, his eyes widened with shock. "Marluxia..." He said slowly, not daring to look up and check for himself. "Check if the moon is out, would you?" He asked. Marluxia would have wanted to know why, except the note of fear in Vexen's voice gave him pause. He nodded as he stood up and walked quietly across the room before opening the window with gentle care. He poked his head out and observed the sky. There were very few clouds that dotted the perfect midnight-blue skyscape, and the few stars that were there only accentuated the fact that there was indeed no moon.

"Nothing, Vexen." He replied. "I don't see a single sign of the moon in the sky. Is something wrong?" He asked.

He hadn't been expecting Vexen to freak out from behind him; the scientist jumped up from his position of sitting cross legged on the floor and pounced on top of him as he tried to drag him out of the room.

"We have to go, Marluxia! Right now!" He caterwauled, ignoring Marluxia's protests as he attempted to drag the botanist down the flights of stairs while Marluxia demanded an explanation.

"Vexen, I don't even know what the hell is going on! There's no need to leave! I'm here to protect you, remember?" Marluxia couldn't resist reminding Vexen of that fact as the scientist snarled, pushing him further down the steps.

"You can't protect me from this threat, you idiot! If we don't leave the castle, we're no better than lambs up for slaughter! And if you don't move any faster, we're not going to leave the castle! So _shut up, _for once in your life, and _move your arrogant ass!" _He roared. Marluxia was actually stunned into silence by the sheer shock of Vexen becoming so dominant and assertive. He could detect the tones of panic and fear in the scientist's voice, and he might have tried to ask what the problem was, had Vexen not continued to push him ever farther down the seemingly endless flights of stairs.

The two of them finally reached the last flight of stairs, and Vexen ceased pushing Marluxia down the steps enough for him to turn around and face the blonde. Vexen had not been expecting Marluxia to stop, and with a small squeak of shock, the academic collided with the other man and collapsed into his arms. Marluxia fought down a purr of satisfaction and pleasure as he looked into Vexen's eyes, meeting the scientist's terrified gaze.

"Sweetie pie, whatever it is, just tell me; I'll protect you no matter what, remember, my precious little baby doll?" He purred. Vexen glared at him, but he knew it wasn't the time to start going to town on Marluxia and tearing him a new one for insisting on giving him those infuriating little nicknames.

"I would most certainly like to see you try! Do you even know what we're going to be up against? Marluxia, the risk here is beyond what either you and I can handle, and if we don't get out soon, we're going to-" Vexen was cut off as Marluxia slammed Graceful Dahlia into the door and stormed out of the stairwell and into the front hall. He snarled, running his hands through his hair and screaming in frustration before following after the other man. "Marluxia! Marluxia, that's not funny! You're going to get yourself killed!"

Marluxia turned around to face him after he said that, finally seeming to understand what Vexen was getting at. Vexen would have sighed in relief, except Marluxia was just smirking at him again, giving him one of his infuriating lazy, arrogant grins.

"Really, Vexen? I must admit, I'm surprised you care so much. But there's no need for you to worry, honey. I'll protect you from whatever you think is so frightening." He cooed. Vexen groaned, shooting the younger man a disgusted glare.

"You would have done well to listen to him, young one." A thick, silky voice interrupted their argument, and both Marluxia and Vexen jumped at the sound. They could hear the sudden swish of a cloak, coupled with the crunching sounds of broken glass underneath something heavy. Vexen had Frozen Pride out and by his side in an instant as Marluxia readied Graceful Dahlia. The voice simply laughed.

"Pitiful little creatures. I'm surprised you had the courage to venture here. Not many would trespass in my domain." It continued. Vexen furrowed his brow as he sunk deep into his thoughts. Something about that voice seemed too familiar to him...


	81. Dragon's Horn

(I KINDA SORTA TOTALLY MADE MALEFICENT A LESBIAN OOPS.

Yeah. It was so totally on accident I swear. But I guess it makes sense. Maleficent is the most triumphant example of a Yandere EVER. ^^;

FIGHT SCENES EVERYONE LIKES FIGHT SCENES

Seriously, I was so pissed when this didn't come out as well as I had wanted it to. I tried so hard D: But I'm not Akira Toriyama; I can't devote eight novels to two people standing and glaring at each other threateningly and preparing their power ballz. It's like, just, in a visual medium, it would make things much easier-translating action to novels has always been hard, because a lot of it relies on what you can perceive, and when you write it, communicating that perception trainwrecks right into purple prose. Same problem with Demyx's little freak out episode in Port Royal; while it's still pretty kickass, translating something that requires so much physical chaos and its aftershocks is a pain in the ass. If I get a scanner for Xmas, I might actually try turning these into a series of picture stills, but until then, just use your imaginations, kay? :)

Seriously I apologize for any childhoods ruined in advance by realizing that the mistress of hell itself is just a possessive as all get-out girlfriend. I HAD TO SUFFER STATUEPORN, YOU DEAL WITH YANDERES. EVERYONE LOSES.

God DAMMIT mom I hate you so much for those books and you too Anne Rice what the fuck possessed you to write those things

Vexen took the pants back from Marluxia, obviously. ^^; He had it a long time comin'. I don't torture him as badly as I do Xaldin, but he definitely gets way too much slag from Marlu.

Okay, so after trying to make it more actiony, that apparently means in MY mind, "make it gorier." Just remember, Maleficent is a Disney villain; I Got Better is basically their motto. ^^; Also beware of gore if you're squeamish I guess.

Toy Story 3 is the most depressing fucking film in existence. No. Exceptions.

Seriously, that and Where the Wild Things Are made me a giant blubbering fucking mess. I managed to survive up until the incinerator scene, and then I was like "oh god no Woody's gonna die" (except this is Disney you say? WELL DISNEY KILLED MUFASA SO YOU SHUT YOUR FILTHY LIAR MOUTH) and then I started losing it all over the couch and crying like a total tool.

And then Andy gave the group to Bonnie. Oh Jesus. Oh good lord. The way he was talking about Woody actually made me sob out loud. Like those big honking goose sobs. The best part? About the entirety of my close male relatives were watching this movie with me. ^^;

One of them didn't cry because, and I quote, "They're just a cartoon." So by that logic, crying when oh I don't know, Romeo and Juliet bite it is stupid because the people acting it out are "just actors?"

He didn't cry when Mufasa died! That jerk! EVERYONE wants Mufasa to be their dad! Everyone! He's fucking dad-Jesus! He's like Aslan, only fucking BETTER! AND I HAD TO WATCH HIM DIE LIKE A BILLION TIMES BECAUSE THAT WAS MY FAVORITE MOVIE AND NO ONE COULD FIGURE OUT HOW TO WORK THE FUCKING FAST FORWARD BUTTON IN MY FAMILY APPARENTLY

My parents and I need to have a talk about whether or not they traumatized me all the time for lulz. Also why I needed a surrogate parent or fifty in the first place. I SEE THIS ENDING IN GROUP THERAPY. (over my dead fucking body but whatever)

Point remains.

I don't even know WHY I cried so much at Where the Wild Things Are. Sure, it was bar none one of my fave childhood books, and sure, it was an exploration of childhood itself, and yes, it was very good. But I don't remember this really big pivotal moment where I went BAAAAAAAWWWW. I think it might have just been the overall mood or something. But yeah, I'm actually NOT that sappy. I think it's those two movies and Advent Children that I really bawled my fucking eyes out over in recent memory. It's just once the waterworks start, they don't let up. I think I started crying about five minutes into Advent Children, and did not stop crying until the end of the movie. Literally the final frame of animation. I hate you Disney. I hate you Square Enix. Why did you make a game together. DO YOUR SOULS RUN ON CHILDREN'S TEARS OR SOMETHING BECAUSE SERIOUSLY THIS HAS TO STOP.

So I did indeed just devote an entire author's note to bitching about TS3. Shutup. It's owned by Disney which is involved in KH so SEE IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE SUBJECT. ^^; I know, I know. At least Ienzo didn't get involved, we'd be here all day.

I might not update tomorrow, for what it's worth-I have a chorus concert, so it'll be another busyfun day from hell. D:

Don't own KH.

Dedicated to all of us; every one of us who is going to have to grow up and throw those toys away some day.

...Except let's get real, how many of us actually ARE? Not me, that's for sure.)

* * *

The voice laughed again, glimmering green-gold eyes lighting up in the shadows as they shifted and parted to let the speaker reveal themselves.

"...Although the Apprentices were always a brave sort, weren't they?" Maleficent said, finally emerging from the shadows. Marluxia bit back a hiss of shock and settled for clenching Graceful Dahlia's handle tighter as he moved to stand in front of Vexen. An absolutely feral snarl ripped from his lips, and Vexen knew the frantic, insistent tugging he felt in his chest was the exact same as the frantic, insistent tugging Marluxia had to be feeling in response.

"I don't know who you are and I don't really care. All you need to know is that if you take one more step towards _my Vexen, _I will make sure every last little second of your pathetic life is spent in wretched agony. Get away from him." Marluxia's voice was coldly sweet and painfully deadly. Even Vexen fought down a shiver at the hideous, vicious rage reflected in the neophyte's eyes. Maleficent laughed.

"Harm dear little Even? I wouldn't even dream of it. Of course, you...you're another story." Maleficent purred. "You're just a wretched little brat who just so happens to be getting in the way of myself and my darling princess Aurora."

Vexen's eyes widened. The witch Maleficent; it had to be! Not even his teacher had found a way to undo the spell she had put upon the Enchanted Dominion, and no wonder-she was a powerful witch, and rumored to be a shape shifter as well. He honestly hadn't thought she was still alive and well after all these years...

"No." He said, startled by the power in his quiet refusal. Maleficent quirked an eyebrow, gesturing grandly at him.

"Come again, Even? I believe there's more important things I have to attend to, so unless this is important, I must incinerate the two of you for intruding on my precious Aurora's place of rest and then be on my merry way." She said, the dark glee in her voice becoming a sick parody of cheerfulness. Vexen snarled, raising Frozen Pride and placing it between her and Marluxia.

"Don't you dare put a hand on Marluxia." He murmured, voice becoming ever stronger as he met the witch face-to-face. "I have no quarrel with you, witch. However, if you interfere with our departure or happen to lay a hand on my partner...I will take up arms to fight you, make no mistake." He said quietly, reaching out to squeeze Marluxia's shoulder gently as the botanist stared at him in shock.

Maleficent stared at him for a minute. Then she began to laugh. And laugh. And laugh. And_ laugh..._

_"You? _Fight _me?" _She purred, letting green fire leap around her as she raised her hand out and let them watch as her cloak contracted over her arm and began to turn into rough, scaly hide. "How very _amusing." _Her cloak had become thick, scaly ebony-colored hide as she talked, and her nails had lengthened into deadly, wickedly curved smirks, becoming clawed talons that flexed a glimmering ebony in the light of the dancing flames. "I am the mistress of_ hell itself,_ foolish_ whelps. _And if you_ dare _think you can take_ my Aurora _from me_, think again_!"

Marluxia and Vexen were left only to watch as Maleficent finished her transformation into a beast, becoming the largest and fiercest dragon the two of them had ever seen. Her scales glinted like steel obsidian and her emerald underbelly as armored as a knight's breastplate. Her wings were vast amethyst monstrosities that loomed above them, constantly flexing and snapping as her long, glimmering ebony neck stretched up and her needle-fanged mouth opened up in a battle cry of pure bloodlust and rage.

Marluxia snarled in response; the botanist was quicker to react than Vexen, who had summoned Frozen Pride but could only watch in awe, stunned by the fact that all the rumors he had heard were true, and literally coming to life in front of him. Marluxia had no such concerns, and thus the other man was ready to fight at a moment's notice.

Maleficent flexed and spread her wings, soaring up into the air and opening her needle-fang lined mouth to spew emerald venom-laced flames at them. Marluxia summoned vines in retaliation and quickly sent the thorned whiplike tendrils up into the air to claw at her underbelly and lash at the fragile membrane between her wings.

The little drips and ripples of blood that spurted from the multitude of nicks and slices in her wings and underbelly pooled on the floor and spattered across their coats, leaving the blood to become tacky and sticky upon the floor. Vexen watched in horror as the blood coagulated on the floor in front of him, mind reeling with shock and fright as he watched the normally arrogant, cool-headed Marluxia turn into a snarling, sick-grinning, monstrous predator.

Marluxia smirked in triumph as he sent up thicker, stronger vines to bind her wings and leave her open to attack. They managed to hold firm and true for a minute before Marleficent's constantly flexing and fluttering wings tore them apart, but that minute was enough time for Marluxia to hook Graceful Dahlia's scythe-tip into her belly and move her blade forward, cutting a massive, crescent-shaped gash into her underbelly that almost immediately began to undulate and weep with blood.

Maleficent snarled, sending a small column of flames down towards the vines and burning them up, leaving the ashes to fall onto the floor below her. Flames continued to pour from her mouth in harsh, blistering bursts of crackling heat and color. The flames managed to catch Marluxia on the edge of his coat, and almost immediately, they began to lap greedily at the lining in an attempt to burn him alive. He snorted with disgust and let vines burst from within the stitches of the coat and tear it to shreds from within, tossing away the flaming shreds of darkness as he stood encased in the thorned armor. He sighed with bloodlust and bliss before letting the vines move about him in a large spiral, lashing out and reaching up to swipe indiscriminately at any part of Maleficent they could reach.

Maleficent tore them to shreds with her claws in response, crushing the steel-thick and knife blade-sharp thorns under her massive leathery paw. She roared in fury, making sure even the ends of the thorned spiral were torn away and destroyed before spitting ever more emerald flames at Marluxia.

Marluxia bolted away from the fire's path and continued on undeterred as he drew Graceful Dahlia out and summoned razor-sharp petals from her tip, sending them straight for Maleficent's eyes. The witch roared, trying desperately to swat them away with her massive armored tail before diving down lower to reach Marluxia with her claws and tear him to shreds.

Marluxia dodged almost effortlessly, blocking the ebony claws with Graceful Dahlia's blade; the metal squealed in protest, but it held firm, even under the onslaught of such terrible claws. He smirked, sending out frantically whipping thorned tendrils to reach out and lash at Maleficent once more. This time, the shape shifter managed to incinerate a few of them; however, the rest that remained managed to deal some damage. Her wings were getting torn and tattered, and blood was leaking from her slightly more vulnerable underbelly. She roared with pain as she tried to burn Marluxia with her hideous emerald fire; he simply dodged, almost as if he was ignoring her attack.

She howled and dove down to meet him, trying to clip him with her wing. Marluxia ducked and managed to get under her long enough to strike. Vexen watched as Marluxia laughed; it was a high, cold, and perfectly cruel sound as he slashed Maleficent's underbelly with the pointed blade end on Graceful Dahlia. Blood spewed from the wound, decorating the grey floor a tacky, vivid crimson.

Maleficent shrieked in rage and hate, diving down and lashing her tail out to slam the spiked tip into Marluxia's side. Despite Marluxia's effort to dodge, the tail was too lightning-quick and Maleficent's aim was too true; Marluxia was hit, and the gash immediately became a massive, weeping wound that seemed to leer in a sick, crimson rictus grin.

Marluxia hissed with pain as blood ran down his side in a veritable fountain of bright, violent red. Because of Dahlia's weight and the fact that the entire right section of his ribs were most likely shattered, he couldn't even move so much as a hand to clamp over the blood flowing down his thighs and pooling on the floor below him. Maleficent squealed with glee in an uncanny representation of a human laugh, diving back down again to clamp her teeth around his throat and finish the job she had already started.

And then Vexen finally made his move.

The scientist bolted past Marluxia, taking Frozen Pride and extending the spines across her sides before raising the shield to block Maleficent's sweeping blow with her tail. He threw the shield like a discus and sent the steely, razor-sharp icicle spines raking across her wings, finishing the gruesome job Marluxia had started and making her wings nigh-on useless. Maleficent shrieked in pain and lashed out with her tail once more, hoping to knock him off balance and incinerate him. It didn't work; Vexen had already dodged, using her own ungainly, useless wings as a balancer while he dropped to the ground below.

He smirked in triumph and bared his teeth in a predator's parody of smile as he caught Frozen Pride on the rebound while he used the shield to break his fall and prevent Maleficent from reaching him with her flames.

The ice that coated Frozen Pride as a second line of defense hissed in protest as scalding green flames lapped at its surface, but the shield held firm and true as Vexen faced down a flightless Maleficent, her limbs frozen to prevent even the slightest hint of movement as he meandered over to her, taking a sick delight in moving with the slow, measured gait of a predator who knows full well that they have won.

As Maleficent squealed in pain and attempted to flutter her wings, the blond simply shrugged and took the wing bone in his hands, snapping her right wing in two as the bright, almost obscenely-white bone poked out from under the leathery scales. Maleficent began to scream, her voice far too hideously human as Vexen winced in annoyance, the sound obviously bothering him.

Considering how deep he was in the state of cold, hideous fury, Marluxia shouldn't have felt so sick to his stomach when Vexen froze his hand solid to protect himself and reached into Maleficent's mouth before he promptly tore out her tongue. The long, forked black organ flopped uselessly in his right hand as he shoved his other hand into her mouth and froze the venom sac under the wound where her tongue had once been, ensuring she couldn't breathe any more fire at him.

Maleficent's mouth was open in a wordless scream as Vexen took his sweet time reaching her left wing, snapping the bone once more and taking the fragments that fell out into his hands to stow away in his coat. Even as far gone as he was, Vexen still remembered potential research subjects; it shouldn't have made Marluxia laugh, but he did, and he started to laugh for a moment before he realized it was putting him on the verge of vomiting.

Vexen shook his head, observing the large, bulbous hazel eyes before shaking his head, evidently having decided against taking Maleficent's eyes as a trophy. He settled instead for tearing a twisted ebony horn off of her head and testing it in his palm, judging its worth as a weapon before nodding in satisfaction.

Maleficent could only watch as Vexen picked up Frozen Pride and caressed the ice-spines across her edges, choosing the best one with which to finish the deed.

He lengthened the icicle spear situated just at her tip and smiled before driving the point straight into her chest. His only response to the final strike was wincing in slight disgust as thick crimson blood spewed from the wound and coated him in the tacky mess.

He watched impassively as Maleficent shrieked and wailed; the only sign he even noticed or heard being a single contemptuous shrug as he turned away from her blood-soaked carcass and went to Marluxia's side. Cold rage had bloomed up around him as he walked, and the walls and floor around him were covered in thick sheets of ice that occasionally rose up into wickedly sharp curved thorns.

Blood dripped from his skin and hair as he stalked across the room, and for a second, Marluxia wondered in a pain-induced haze if Vexen had been the one who had been torn to shreds and was only there as a final dying hallucination to mock him for his failure to protect him.

Vexen laughed, which immediately startled Marluxia out of that train of thought; it was a high, hysterical sort of laugh that sounded hideously like a scream. The dragon's blood was drying on his face, and he looked like a warrior that had been left for dead on the battlefield. Despite that, he managed to stand just fine, and indeed, he looked rather regal and proud. Marluxia decided he ought to reconsider; perhaps his Vexen was not a man left for dead, but a victorious warrior bathed in the blood of his enemies...

Vexen beckoned for the shocked assassin to lie down on the floor and silently guided him into the proper position as he ran an icy hand over Marluxia's gaping wound, stilling the blood that still dripped from the deep wound with a thick layer of ice. Marluxia hissed softly at the chill, but he relaxed as he saw that the blood had stopped pooling around the gash. Vexen nodded with satisfaction as he ran a gentle palm over Marluxia's forehead, imitating the same touches that the other man had initiated upon him.

There was gentle care and concern in his touch, which disturbed Marluxia far more than if Vexen's touch had been cold and clinical; it seemed too far at odds with the actions Vexen had just committed. Regardless of the situation, Marluxia found he couldn't refuse any of Vexen's gentle ministrations, and soon he settled for simply relaxing into his embrace.

Vexen didn't say a word to him as he picked Marluxia up, holding the botanist in his arms with the same delicate care that he would have held a sick child; he ruffled his hair and shot one last triumphant glare at Maleficent before he walked out of the castle with Marluxia held in his arms.

They walked down the dirt path as the two of them focused only on the sound of Vexen's footsteps against the dusty path. Marluxia wouldn't admit it, but the pain in his side was like a screaming, tearing agony that threatened to kill him if he wasn't taken home and treated. And yet, despite all that pain, the wretched tugging in his chest hurt even more. He wanted to say something to Vexen; anything, really, just to hear the scientist speak and make sure for his own sanity that the beautiful blond hadn't lost himself entirely to some sort of berserk battle rage.

He didn't want to see Vexen like that ever again; the thought that someone who was normally satisfied with the pursuit of knowledge and the mere exploration of worlds would become a battle-hardened warrior worried him and made him feel much more uneasy than he would have liked to admit out loud.

"Vexen?" He managed to whisper, cursing his own hoarse, rough voice that reverberated with pain. "Vexen, for god's sake, are you all right?" He asked, moaning in sudden pain as he shifted in the blond's arms. Vexen was silent for a minute and settled only for holding him slightly tighter before finally speaking.

"I told you a shield had its uses." He finally murmured. Marluxia looked up at him and saw the same sardonic, arrogant light in his emerald eyes that he always did. The comforting normality of Vexen's caustic comments actually made him laugh. Of course, a moment later, he was shrieking in pain as the wound on his side reopened and began to gush blood once more, but the soft laugh of exasperated amusement that Vexen treated him to made the whole experience completely worth it.


	82. Intoxicated with Infinity

(I need to start looking deep inside myself about my love for shower scenes. It is so totally all their fault for being so attractive, but WHATEVER.

Vexen, seriously, god DAMN boy, you are like the most put-upon person on the planet. Although you know what, if having an attractive man shower you off is your idea of being "put upon," I'll just go get my tiny violin right about now.

But yeah, Vexen finally does snap. It actually will make Marluxia back off, but only slightly. (I mean, this is Marluxia I'm talking about...)

Oh, and as for the concert, it was awesome. We did fabulous, and a bunch of my old friends who are crippled old geezers (meaning they're in college by now), came and sang the traditional "alumni" song with us. It was so much fun!~

Marluxia isn't going to automatically stop being crazy possessive, but at least Vexen got to bitch him out. Always look on the bright side of life?

For the record, that is the best song ever. ALWAYS makes me laugh.

I know this AN is short but I rambled so long on the last one that it just took all my rambling from me. Although I'm going to a Renaissance-era themed party this weekend and FUCK YEAH PERIOD APPROPRIATE DRESS. :D

So yeah I'm a giant dork. ^^;

Don't own KH~

Dedicated to John Lennon a day late. He wasn't always a great man, but he was a good man who wanted to improve, and I can respect that. RIP; I miss you.)

* * *

Vexen left the Enchanted Dominion with Marluxia still in his arms. The two moved quickly through the darkness, intent only on getting home and treating their, (well, mostly just Marluxia's) wounds. Vexen didn't waste any time in pushing through the portal and reappearing in his lab, laying Marluxia down on one of the examination tables and sighing in exasperation, running his bloodied hands through his tacky, crimson-stained hair.

"Stay here while I shower, all right? I shouldn't be patching you up when I'm covered in someone else's blood." He remarked wryly. Marluxia groaned, eyelids fluttering as he tried to sit up and give Vexen a regal glare.

"You're covered in blood, Vexen. If you think I'm going to let you go on your own, you can think again!" He protested weakly, trying his best to get up off the examination table and stand up. Vexen shot him a vicious glare, and it was icy enough that it actually made Marluxia stop in his tracks.

"Shut up, Marluxia." Vexen said quietly. "Just shut up." He muttered, turning on his heel and storming towards his bath room, slamming the door behind him with a sharp, harsh clacking sound against the stone walls.

* * *

Marluxia just stared at the ice blue door, too stunned to do anything but follow Vexen's orders and stay quiet.

Vexen sighed, turning the knobs on the shower's wall. He knew he had been rather harsh towards Marluxia, but he was, quite frankly, sick and tired of the botanist treating him like a helpless infant! For the love of god, he had just slain a dragon; he deserved far more credit than that bastard cretin was giving him!

Vexen growled, swiping his crimson-stained hair out of his eyes and adjusting the water. He needed the blood to wash off quickly, and hot water would work better for that, even if he would get slightly uncomfortable. As much as he wanted to throttle Marluxia right now, he certainly wouldn't let the pink-haired idiot bleed to death on his perfectly good examination table. (Stainless steel apparently meant "nothing can stain it except blood and chemicals," and Vexen had just cleaned it two days ago.)

He let the burning hot spray hit his back and chest for a minute before he sighed in pleasure, turning away from the door to grab the shower gel.

That was, of course, his first mistake.

Marluxia refused to be deterred by Vexen for more than five minutes; indeed, he had already left the examination room and was now following the sound of gushing water and creaking pipes right to the bathroom adjacent to Vexen's own room. He picked his way across the reams of paper, scattered journals, and broken pens, pencils, and abandoned cups of coffee as he opened the door to Vexen's bath room and crept inside.

He smirked with triumph as he saw that the scientist had his blood-stained back to him. He took his boots off quietly, although he figured there wasn't much need; the harsh humming of the water against the ceramic tiles drowned out all other noise. He unzipped his coat as well, leaving it to fall around his feet as he was left standing in his tight black shirt and pants. He didn't even hesitate as he opened the shower door and got in, nonchalantly taking the bottle of shampoo from Vexen and pouring it into his open palm.

There was silence for a minute as Vexen met his gaze.

Then the scientist slapped him, yanking a towel from the rack beside the shower and wrapping it around his waist, giving Marluxia the most icy, wicked glare he had ever fixed on the other man thus far.

"Number XI, what in the name of Shiva's sweet holy hell are you doing _in my shower?" _He roared. Vexen was expecting a snippy retort from the rose-haired male, who had been leaning against the glass wall with his sopping-wet clothes and raw pink cheek as Vexen shouted at him. Instead, the other man shrugged, drawing his finger across his lips. Vexen's eyes widened.

"You...you...you're an _asshole, _you know that?" Vexen finally snapped, turning away from him and muttering viciously under his breath. Marluxia just smiled, ruffling his hair and grabbing the raspberry green tea shower gel Vexen was so fond of before finally running the shampoo that coated his fingers into Vexen's hair.

Vexen knew he shouldn't want this. He knew he should have pushed Marluxia away the instant he walked into his shower and had Lexaeus or Zexion deal with his wounds. He knew full well that Marluxia was an invasive, overbearing, and overprotective bastard who treated him like he was a baby to be nursed and taken care of.

But oh god, his hands just felt so _good..._

Vexen had never really sat down and appreciated a good, long, hot shower. For as long as he could remember, showers were hurried, rushed, five-minute affairs most days; they were only necessary actions that unfortunately got in the way of an experiment or a mission. Perhaps on a few off days, he might spend ten minutes in the shower, but any more than that and he would just feel like wasting his time.

However, Marluxia had other plans. True to Vexen's orders, the pale man hadn't said a single word since he had stepped into the shower, but he had wrapped vines around the doors to keep either of them from leaving. To Vexen's admitted relief and surprise, he hadn't tried to grope him or take off the towel he insisted keeping on for modesty's sake, either; likewise, apparently ignorant of the fact that his clothes were soaked to the bone and clinging to his skin, he hadn't removed either his (admittedly rather tattered) pants or his almost completely ruined shirt. Still he stayed in the shower and washed Vexen clean.

He had started with his hair; Vexen knew enough from having occasionally been tasked with bathing Ienzo that he needed to close his eyes as Marluxia rubbed the gel through his hair. However, he found he had another reason for keeping his eyes tightly shut; Marluxia's hands were delicate, gentle, skillful, and sweetly tender as they toyed with his hair and massaged his skin. He was biting back soft moans of pleasure, knowing full well that if even a single one escaped, he would never live it down.

Marluxia let the shampoo sink in before he picked up the bottle of raspberry green tea gel once more, rubbing it on a soft, cream-colored cloth Vexen had draped over the edge of the glass door. He took Vexen's hair and gently looped it over his neck so it fell over his chest and Marluxia could reach his back and neck.

Vexen fought down a deep, shuddering mewl of pure and utter bliss at the feeling of the soft cloth and Marluxia's fingers gently washing the blood from his skin. When was the last time anyone had taken care of him like this...treated him so gently, watched over him with such care...he really couldn't remember. All that mattered was that right now, he was being petted and washed and bathed by the gentlest caresses he had ever been treated to in his life, and he really ought to relax and enjoy it.

Marluxia continued to remain silent, but he couldn't help the soft sigh of pleasure that slipped from his lips the second Vexen relaxed ever-so-tenatively against his chest. Marluxia settled for continuing on with his ministrations; he didn't want to startle Vexen and possibly prevent him from ever getting this close again, not after he had gotten so far. As such, he didn't continue on down past Vexen's back quite yet, no matter how utterly and completely tantalizing the firm rear he could feel pressed up against him was, or how he knew full well that if he just reached out and went for his hips, he would brush against pale, delicate curls that promised only wonderful things to come.

Marluxia, for the first (and most likely last) time in his life at least had the decency to blush as he finished cleaning the dried, tacky brown congealed blood off of Vexen's back and shoulders, guiding the older blonde under the steady pounding of the water to wash the remains off as he wrung out the cloth and soaped it up once more.

Vexen couldn't meet his eyes as the younger man slowly but surely began to stroke the warm cloth across his chest. He knew he was blushing, and he was more than fully aware he probably looked like an idiotic, naive little schoolgirl, but since the only thing separating him from being completely exposed to Marluxia and his less-than-chaste intentions was a towel that hung rather precariously around his hips, he figured he had a right to be more than a little nervous.

However, if Marluxia was aroused by the contact, he didn't show it. He settled instead for rubbing the cloth in small, delicate little circles across his chest, making sure that the soap suds and bloodstains both were washed away by the constant stream of warm water. He went all the way down across the muscle of his chest before finally stopping just at the edge of his stomach and hips.

At this point, Vexen wasn't really sure if he actually wanted Marluxia to stop. However, he simply looked away as Marluxia wrung out the cloth again, now finally filling his hands with the strawberry scented conditioner that Vexen had already laid out for his own use.

With even more soft, gentle caresses through his hair and across his neck, Vexen's eyelids fluttered as he felt the warm, sleepy sensation of bliss overtake him. He frantically kicked his mental state into gear once he realized how much he was enjoying it; he couldn't really be loving this! Being a Nobody, and thus being unable to really feel the pleasure aside, for the love of Shiva, _it was Marluxia. _

_Marluxia _was the one touching him. _Marluxia _was the one who had snuck into his shower and decided to bathe him without even asking. _Marluxia _was the one man who had ever treated him with careful, gentle hands and caressed him with soft, soothing touches...

Vexen bit back a steady stream of blistering oaths that were all directed right at his traitorous thoughts as Marluxia finally finished running the conditioner through his hair. Without a word, Marluxia ran the cloth across his back and chest once more while trying to be both quick and gentle. Vexen tilted his head back and let the water run through the conditioner in his hair while letting the rest of the soap suds drip from his hair and skin onto the shower floor and swirl down the drain. Marluxia nodded, satisfied with his work. Vexen turned the knobs and let the water run dry before he turned around and met Marluxia's eyes once more. The azure-tinted eyes held nothing that Vexen could really quite determine; exasperation? Amusement? Arousal?

...Affection?

He officially had no idea what to do in this sort of situation. Fortunately, Marluxia settled the matter for him after a minute of carefully watching him. He dissipated the vines keeping the door shut before opening it and taking out two fluffy white towels from the cabinet next to the shower. He handed one to Vexen, taking the other for himself and wrapping it around the still-bleeding gash in his side. Vexen's eyes widened as he realized that Marluxia was still bleeding; and quite profusely, as a matter of fact. He swallowed, feeling like something heavy had suddenly lodged itself in his throat as he looked at Marluxia, feeling a sharp stinging sensation in the corners of his eyes.

"You idiot." He whispered, trying frantically to wipe tears away before they fell. "What on earth did you do that for?" He asked. Marluxia shrugged, wrapping the towel around his midriff tighter.

"You deserved it." He replied. Marluxia left the room without another word, leaving Vexen standing in the bathroom, feeling both confused and slightly...

Well, he wouldn't have liked to use the word pleased, but with a small smile, he realized that there wasn't much he could do about it.

* * *

He sighed, toweling dry and heading back into his room to get dressed. The idiot had reopened his wounds again, and if he wasn't quick, Marluxia would probably start bleeding all over the floor, and then he would _never _get the place clean.

After a quick, hastily thrown together changing session, Vexen was now wearing loose black pants and a thin pale blue cotton button-down shirt. He sighed, pulling on socks before darting out of his room, pausing only to snatch up a journal to make notes on the wounds Marluxia had received.

He headed out into the main labs to discover, shockingly enough, that Marluxia was sitting on the examination table ever-so-politely as blood continued to gush around him; even through the towel, Vexen could see the steady crimson bloom that signified the weeping gash needed to be taken care of, and _how. _He winced.

"All right, Marluxia. Since you decided to be an idiot and move around, you've reopened the wound. It might require stitches, even with a potion, so I might have to sedate you...unless you think you can handle it?" He asked. Marluxia snorted with amusement.

"I think I would rather be awake for this. Besides, it's not nearly as bad as it looks; it's just that there's a venom inside the wound that prevents it from closing properly." He replied, knotting the towel tighter around his midriff as he spoke. Vexen raised an eyebrow.

"How can you tell?" He asked, unwinding the towel from around his waist and gesturing for Marluxia to lay down. The other man shrugged before wincing slightly with pain at the careless gesture.

"I deal with natural poisons every day, remember? That poison mimics some of the other natural toxic substances I have lying around in my garden, I'm almost certain of it." He gestured to the weeping gash before pointing to the test tubes and beakers that were situated on the shelf above him. "You should probably grab a sample before you patch the wound up. It might help in further research." He added.

Vexen hid a sudden wince of shock as he turned around and grabbed the test tubes; he honestly hadn't thought of that, and he certainly wasn't going to let Marluxia see that he had won!

However, it seemed like the botanist knew that he hadn't even considered it, because as Vexen filled the test tube with a blood sample, he had a smug smirk on his face that Vexen itched to claw off with a spitting acidic remark or two; however, he held his tongue, especially since no matter how much he wanted to strangle the pink-haired idiot, he was going to faint from blood loss very quickly unless he at least attempted to draw the poison out of his system.

With a small sigh, Vexen took an Elixir and a potion off of the equipment table, uncorking both of the bottles and grabbing a disinfectant cloth. He carefully poured out the Elixir on the cloth first, bending over slightly to swipe the healing mix over the gash in Marluxia's side. As it fizzled and bubbled over, the white foam turning pinkish-red with blood, the botanist gritted his teeth against the pain, but managed to remain silent. Vexen noted the fact that a thin, steady trickle of black ooze had begun to drip from the wound, and in response, he grabbed another test tube and filled it to the brim with the noxious substance. He set it into the small holding shelf with delicate fingers, hoping that it wasn't acidic as well as poisonous.

He turned back to the wound and noted with a bit of shock that with the poison now properly exorcised, it seemed like the wound was already beginning to close up on its own. He sighed. Well, better safe than sorry, and he would rather that the potion was used properly, even if at this point it seemed almost useless. Besides, if there was any fracturing to be had on his ribs, the potion should clear it up rather nicely...

He poured the potion out onto a fresh cloth before pressing it up against the wound. Marluxia grit his teeth again, but this time, a soft hiss of pain escaped his lips. Vexen absentmindedly squeezed his hand in a quick gesture of comfort before he realized that it wasn't one of his brothers he was treating, but _Marluxia. _He tried to pull his hand away, but Marluxia had already sat up as the gash began to reknit itself and become fully functional skin.

"You have beautiful hands." He remarked, tracing the pale, delicate skin of Vexen's palm. Vexen winced, trying not to show how the other man's gentle fingers were making him shudder; it didn't help that his hands were already rather sensitive in the first place, and that Marluxia seemed to know just where to touch him to make him feel so wonderfully_ good. _

"M-Marluxia," he began, but Marluxia, (damn him to hell), cut him off with a gentle kiss to his palm. Vexen's face flared a bright crimson as the other man looked up at him and tried not to laugh at the blonde's expression. Vexen finally got his stunned and broken mind under control enough to snap, "L-let go! I d-don't need you lying to me, especially after what I just did for you, Number XI!"

Marluxia raised a delicate eyebrow and held Vexen's hand just ever-so-slightly tighter. "Do you really think I'm lying to you, Vexen?" He asked. Vexen stiffened; his voice was quiet, but there was an undercurrent of something that Vexen couldn't place, and it worried him. Marluxia had sat up on the examination table and was now surveying him with steady azure eyes. "Have you never looked at your own hands?" He murmured, tracing the lines in his palm. "They're so beautiful." He whispered. "Delicate and pale, with thin, clever fingers..."

Before Vexen could stop him or even protest, Marluxia had kissed the tip of each of his fingers, moving down to his knuckles and kissing each delicate bone that showed through the skin. He smiled.

"Such wonderful, clever hands. You are simply stunning, Vexen. Truly, you are just so beautiful it almost hurts to look at you." He purred. "And that's the absolute truth. Don't try to deny it, my dear; nothing you say or do will persuade me otherwise. Not when you have such beautiful porcelain skin, and such intelligent, shimmering emerald eyes, and such silky soft blonde hair. And oh, your hands..." He laughed quietly as he rubbed his thumb in circles across Vexen's palm. "Such beautiful, clever little perfect hands."

Vexen honestly had nothing to say to something so honest and genuine. He swallowed. "M-Marluxia..." He trailed off as the botanist kissed his palm. He shook his head, steadying himself and gathering his thoughts together. "We need to talk." He finally said. Marluxia nodded.

"All right, my dear. What's the matter?" He asked. Vexen knew he couldn't even hope to explain it, but that didn't seem to stop his train of thought from going on without him anyway.

"I don't need to be taken care of!" He snapped. Marluxia raised an eyebrow, but stayed quiet as Vexen ranted and raved. "For the love of god, I just fought off a dragon for your sake, Marluxia! I'm not a sniveling little child to be swaddled in blankets and nursed! I have survived without you for the rest of my life, and I can continue surviving now, even without you watching over my every Shiva-damned movement! I know how to take care of myself and I don't need any goddamned help doing it!" He snarled, not realizing he was digging his fingers into the steel table below him until he looked down and saw that his knuckles had gone bone-white.

Marluxia was quiet for another minute, simply watching him carefully as he sat on the examination table. With a soft, sudden sigh, he shook his head.

"Dear god in heaven, Vexen." He murmured. "Is that what you think this is about?" He looked into the other man's eyes, azure matching emerald green, and smiled. "I'm not doing this because I think you need it. I'm doing this because I think you deserve it. There's a very big difference, you see." He sighed in amusement. "You have yet to realize that even though you don't _need_ to be taken care of, you _deserve_ someone to wait on your whims and pamper you. You have been _surviving, _dear Vexen, but you have yet to be truly living." He said. "Someone like you needs to shed their burdens every so often and let someone else hold them through their troubles. You have been alone and responsible for far too much for far too long. I don't want to see you suffer in silence any more simply because you think it's your responsibility to take care of everyone else. Do you understand?" He sighed.

"However, I understand that you might have taken my intentions in a different light. So I'm clearing things up for you now-I'm not doing this because I think you _need_ to be coddled, Vexen. I'm doing this because I think you _deserve _to be pampered and watched over."

Marluxia leaned up, and without another word, gently brushed his lips against Vexen's own. He got up and left the lab, leaving Vexen staring in wide-eyed shock at the open door.


	83. Paint With All The Colors of Completion

(After a couple of long chapters, I have to give you a short one, I'm afraid. I was going to update yesterday, but I literally fell asleep at like nine, I was so damn tired. It's been kind of a crazy week, and even on a GOOD week, I get like 6 or 7 hours of sleep a night, and trust me, for someone who could sleep for literally 12 hours a day, that's hell. D: Besides, I have an erratic sleep schedule during the school year, which also adds to the mess and chaos.

Aww, adorable cuteness from DemDems. What else is new? ^^; He's like the Organization's moe blob, seriously. I mean, sure, he's badass, but he is the most triumphant example of Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass that there ever has been EVER. He's badass as a second hobby. Cuteness is where he got his doctorate. Cuteness and Cuteness Related Fields with a minor in Ball-Droppingly Badass Acts.

Man I wish my college would offer courses like that. I'd apply there so fast.

Also AAAGHGH 401 REVIEWS HOLY CRAP. Thank you all SO MUCH. This is totally freaking awesome as hell and great and perfect and fabulous. I love you all so hard. :D

Period appropriate dress is HARD. Dammit, I hate not being a rich author living in a solid chocolate house with a polar bear as my butler. I need more gypsy and peasant skirts. Ahwell.

Anyways, yeah, Keyblade Knight times. :D And more implied Xaldin torture. Seriously, one day I'm going to make HIM a house of pure chocolate and he can have a DRAGON for a butler. He has it coming.

Although on the Keyblade, thing is, I don't remember canon ever being completely exact on how they were apparently the only things that could really fuck a Nobody up. I think it has something to do with the strength of heart that's in the Keyblade or something, so that's the explanation you get here. If I fail, well, not much else of canon survives here anyway. Oops.

So yep. Adorable chapter of exposition. Next chapter? PLOT-FORWARDING chapter of adorable exposition. Oh life.

Don't own KH~

Dedicated to Bri, because you have slaved your ass off for choir. I salute you.)

* * *

Xemnas had waited for everyone else to arrive home before quickly calling a meeting. Lexaeus arrived first, and Xemnas noted with some concern that he had a very frustrated, harried expression across his features as he gripped the arm rests of his throne. Larxene followed behind him, settling into her seat with nothing more than a small sigh to give Xemnas any clue as to what might have transpired on their mission.

Xigbar and Demyx were already sitting on their thrones, and while Xigbar did look rather off-put, Xemnas was just grateful he hadn't attempted to put a bullet through his throne like the last time that Xigbar had gotten annoyed at him. He watched as Xaldin and Luxord arrived in the Place Where Nothing Gathers, both of them reclining in their thrones, seemingly exhausted from the day's mission. (Xemnas almost would have sworn he saw the loose end of a ribbon hanging off of one of his brother's braids, but he decided not to mention it for both Dilan's mental health and his own physical health.)

Zexion yawned, snuggling into his throne. He was tired, and he was really just waiting for his older brother to stop talking and end the meeting so he could go back to his room and curl up with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate.

Vexen and Marluxia sat in their respective thrones, but Vexen kept pointedly looking away and blushing ever-so-slightly whenever Marluxia sent him a smoldering glance. Xemnas grinned and shook his head, trying not to laugh. Oh, he wasn't going to touch that one today, not even with a thirty nine and a half foot pole.

Finally, Axel and Saix walked in, giving Xemnas the first sight of his pet that he had gotten since the morning's breakfast. He swallowed, trying not to let his expression change as he watched Saix give him a quick smile. He had to further restrain himself from reacting even in the slightest as Axel hugged Saix tightly and gave his Superior a wicked, teasing, and altogether far too smug and knowing smirk. Xemnas wanted to strangle the flaming son of a bitch where he stood, but he knew he had to channel his temper into something else. With a soft sigh as he felt Saix settle into the the throne beside him, he began to speak.

"I'm curious to know, and believe me, this will become pertinent in a few scant minutes; how many of you besides my brothers, Axel, and Saix, have ever heard of something called a Keyblade?" He asked. Demyx tilted his head and raised his hand.

"Um, Xiggy told me some stuff, yeah, but he didn't go into detail. Is it really a giant key?" He asked. Xemnas bit back a groan and nodded. He had to admit, he had been expecting the conversation to move in that direction at least at some point, but right at the start? He was already starting to get a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Yes. However, it is a very special and particular key, and not only that, but it is a dangerous threat. I know you are all going to start thinking that I have gone off the deep end, but trust me...as a man who has seen first hand the sorts of destruction that a Keyblade and its wielder are capable of, a giant key is a very, very real threat right now." He sighed and buried his hands in his hair as he tried to think of a good way to explain the situation without setting everyone off into a state of panic.

"The thing is, Keyblades usually choose those who are exceptionally pure of heart to become their masters. However, there have been some cases of...less than reputable beings getting their hands on one of the Keyblades, usually by force. They are indeed dangerous weapons, although I am fully aware they don't sound like it. You see, Keyblades can open the doors between the worlds. We as Nobodies can travel through the darkness at will, but Keyblade Knights can unlock the doors to any world they please _without _having to sacrifice themselves to the darkness." He remarked, a wry tone creeping its way into his speech.

"They can also release captive hearts. This is where they become pertinent to our mission-and yet, this is also where they become dangerous threats as well." He warned. "You see, the Heartless, well, eat hearts, do they not? However, whenever a Keyblade fells the Heartless, it releases a captive heart. That heart becomes one with Kingdom Hearts and moves us ever closer towards our ultimate goal of receiving Kingdom Hearts and becoming complete, whole beings."

He allowed himself a quick smile before meeting their eyes again, taking note of their expressions; Demyx looked awestruck and slightly nervous, Luxord simply looked enthralled, Marluxia was too busy looking at Vexen to really think of the Keyblade Knights, and Larxene stared back up at him with feral fury in her eyes. Just a hint of terror and fear lurked beyond it, however, and that fear was what gave Xemnas pause before he steeled himself to continue on with his explanation.

"And yet, for all that a Keyblade Knight can aid us in our grand cause, they can bring us down as well. As far as we know, the only thing that can truly fell a Nobody is if they fall to the Keyblade's blows." He shuddered almost involuntarily before cursing himself for showing fear in front of the others. "Of course, if the Heartless is destroyed along with it, there is the idea that we could be revived again, but I don't think that very many Keyblade Knights would care enough to fight the Heartless of beings such as ourselves." He admitted, dry tone suddenly going harsh and dark.

"This is an order, and one I am giving to you with all of my power as your Superior. Do not provoke this Keyblade Knight, whoever they might be. Do not engage them in combat, do not attempt to communicate with them, do not do a single goddamned thing to them until you have backup. They are _dangerous. _You could _die." _He allowed himself a small smile and a dry, soft laugh. "And I would obviously rather that none of you died on me. It's really rather hard to replace good..." He trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"Friends?" Demyx piped up, waving his hand in the air almost like a curious schoolchild. Xemnas turned to him and raised a delicate silver eyebrow. Demyx, to his credit, didn't flinch or back down, but instead faced his Superior with curiosity and hope etched into his features. He couldn't help but sigh, knowing when he had been beaten by inestimable cuteness. (He had spent more than enough time around Ienzo to know when to submit to cuteness.)

"Yes, Demyx. It's really rather hard to replace good friends." He replied, watching as the whole room seemed to brighten up ever so slightly. Xemnas fought down a smile as he looked around the room. Despite the sea of black, there seemed to be something...greater. A little spark of color that lightened up the darkness.

Seeing that spark of color, he sent it up to Kingdom Hearts, and in his mind, he prayed for completion.


	84. Little Deaths in Musical Beds

(Adorable cuddly XemSai fluff, what else is new.

God I want Christmas to just hurry up and show up. School is soboring~ and I'm like sobored~ and ugh.

Replaying TWEWY for all the Secret Reports. Life=none.

Haha seriously, I'm so boring today. I fail. D: Sorry about that. Hope Xemnas and Saix basically putting on a strip show for each other (and the audience, by proxy), totally makes up for it.

So I hope y'all have a great day today and tomorrow! Also don't forget to review, because if you don't, I kinda sorta totally procrastinate like a lot in the face.

Also Fill the Moon now has a TvTropes page, painstakingly edited and stuff! Link, obviously, (WARNING: oh god you will so totally get trapped there forever. It's like an addiction. Don't go if you have other, more important things to do in an hour's time. You think I'm kidding? I've been on for about two hours now.)

I just stopped editing to go read the pages. SEE WHAT YOU DO TO ME SITE THAT IS LIKE HEROIN. DO YOU SEE.

http : / tv tropes. org/pm wiki /pm wiki. php/Fan Fic /Fill The Moon I know like half the code won't show up so I did my best. Just get rid of all the spaces and stuff. Go check it, but go with god, cause that site is crack.

Don't own.

Dedicated to TVtropes. Seriously, you are like an addiction. I JUST CAN'T QUIT YOU.)

* * *

Xemnas dismissed the others after a short briefing on the rest of the week, which was going to be simple scouting and reconnaissance in an attempt to find the Keyblade Bearer, no matter what world they had traversed to by now. However, he had been desperate to see Saix for so long, and he was _not _just going to let Axel take him without a fight.

He saw Axel beckon to _his Saix _as they left the room, and he immediately choked down a snarl. He couldn't show anger or possessiveness. This was just simple report gathering. It had nothing to do with being so desperate to be near Saix that it was a physical, painful ache that started in his chest and crawled through his body like a vicious, ravenous spider. Absolutely. Nothing.

"Saix, I need to see you about today's mission you undertook with Number VIII. It won't take long; we should be finished in time for dinner. Is that all right with you?" He asked. Saix nodded, but he noticed that he gave that flaming puppy-stealing son of a bitch a sad glance before focusing his gaze on him. Xemnas choked down his anger again as he beckoned for Saix to follow him out of the Place Where Nothing Gathers and up to his room.

He managed to restrain himself from pouncing on Saix and burying his hands deep into his puppy's silky sky-blue hair until Axel left the room in a swirl of snapping, crackling darkness. Saix mewed quietly with shock before he relaxed into the embrace and sighed softly with pleasure while he snuggled deeper into his master's touch. Xemnas couldn't help but grin with both triumph and relief, satisfied that his puppy had not been corrupted too much by Axel's touch while he was out on the mission.

Xemnas led him up the steps and down the hall towards their room, opening the door and snapping his fingers to summon the small tea tray loaded down with tea cakes, cookies, sweets, and the two cups of hot chocolate he had already prepared. He gave Saix a small grin as he unzipped his cloak and shed it in favor of his black silk sleeping pants.

He tossed Saix's pale blue button down shirt to his pet and watched with pleasure as Saix undressed without shame in front of him, stripping down to black silk underwear before tossing on the shirt and leaving it unbuttoned, exposing his pale, creamy porcelain chest. Xemnas gave him a quick grin as he settled in on the bed, presenting his pet with his mug of hot chocolate before getting comfortable.

"I figure we could have our own private little dinner up here for tonight, my pet." He teased. "I have missed you far too much..." He confessed, rubbing his thumb in gentle, soothing strokes across Saix's delicate cheekbones. "Far more than I should, being the Superior." He sighed. Saix shook his head.

"No, my master...there's really no such thing as missing someone "too much," after all, especially when your loyal pet is the one that is away from your side. It's perfectly understandable." He replied, giving Xemnas a small smile as he sipped his hot chocolate and curled up on the bed while he snugged into the down comforter. "I don't blame you, Xemnas. This is the first time I have been on a mission without you at my side, isn't it?" He asked. Xemnas nodded as Saix grinned, satisfied. "Then it is more than understandable. Please don't worry yourself over such trivial matters, my master." He told him as he stretched out over the covers.

Xemnas nodded again, tracing the delicate x-shaped scar that decorated his pet's forehead. Saix wrinkled his nose, still unused to having the scar touched and stroked so lovingly. However, he relaxed into the touch anyway; after all, he reasoned, it was his master touching him, which was always a good thing. He was so focused on the curious sensation of pleasure building up in his chest that he almost forgot about the conversation that he and Lea had, along with the incident in Traverse Town.

With a small, sudden start, he sat up and met his master's eyes. "Superior, I'm sorry, but this is rather important; please allow me to relay the incidents that occurred on the mission before we dine?" He asked. Xemnas nodded in agreement while trying not to look too put out by Saix bringing up the damned mission once more. Saix gave him a small smile of relief, however, which Xemnas decided more than made up for bringing the mission up while they were enjoying themselves.

"Well, you see, I believe that Lea and I have found some very...important information pertaining to the Keyblade bearer. In truth, we discovered not only his name, but..." He shivered. "Something happened to Lea, my master. It truly unnerved me, and to tell you the truth, I'm still not entirely sure what really happened, but I shall do my best to explain." He inhaled sharply before continuing on with his story.

"You see, we were listening in on a conversation between a few people-I can only tell you the name of one of them, I'm afraid; it was Aerith, if I remember correctly. However, their names aren't really what interested us. Instead...they were discussing the Keyblade's chosen one-the one that you yourself just brought up in our meeting, my master." He murmured. Xemnas nodded, listening with enraptured interest as Saix continued on with the explanation.

"They mentioned his name." He whispered. "Sora. The Keyblade has chosen a boy named Sora..." He shuddered. "And that, of course, was where Lea fell apart." He grasped faintly at words, trying his best to find an explanation for what had happened to his best friend after they had heard the Keyblade bearer's name spoken. "He just...his eyes went blank, but they looked so alive at the same time, like burning emerald fires had lit up inside them, and he was murmuring something under his breath...it took me a minute to understand it in my period of confusion, my master, but he was repeating a name." Xemnas watched in amazement as Saix sighed.

"Roxas. He was talking about a boy named Roxas. And as it continued on, it was if he was...calling to the boy, or apologizing to him...I tried to call his name, but it was like he was in another world at this point. Finally, however, he decided to return to the real world and we retreated. The thing is, Lea doesn't seem to remember much of what he was talking about..." Saix shrugged. "I'm really not sure what to make of it, my master, but at least we have a name." He offered. Xemnas nodded.

"And what continues to trouble you, Saix?" He asked. He had to admit he was amused by the way his pet suddenly started violently, almost falling off the bed as he stared at his master in shock. Xemnas couldn't help it; he openly laughed as he gently tucked a cobalt strand of hair behind his precious pet's delicately pointed ear. "Puppy, I'm not blind. You've been fidgeting since the second you walked through the doorway. Tell me about it?" He asked. Saix sighed, eyes downcast as he hugged the pillow he had been laying on closer to his chest.

"Master...It's just...Lea confessed to me that he has been missing me, and that he's frightened I'm going to leave him for you." He admitted, watching as Xemnas frowned, eyes sharpening at the thought of Axel getting his hands on Saix. Saix sighed, squeezing his master's hand gently. "Superior, he's my best friend in the whole world. He has a right to be worried. I was just unwilling to ask you about it, because I didn't want your day to be ruined. Please forgive me..." He murmured. Xemnas shook his head, stroking his pet's hair soothingly.

"You've done nothing wrong, my dear Saix." He replied. "Thus, there is nothing for me to forgive." He sighed. "And as for Axel...well, I admit the two of you have been apart for quite some time. Perhaps it's only fair that the two of you get to spend some time together." He winced. He hated to admit that Axel should spend some time with his Saix, but from the way Saix's eyes lit up with delight, he just couldn't refuse. Gritting his teeth and reminding himself of the fact that it would make Saix happy, he finally managed to say, "I suppose the two of you could go on another recon mission. Not tomorrow, of course; I would rather you stay with me tomorrow, but...the day after, the two of you can go out on a simple recon mission. Twilight Town, perhaps?" He offered. Saix nodded eagerly, giving his master a sweet, genuine smile that Xemnas couldn't help but return.

"Oh of course, my master! That would be wonderful!" He replied, and Xemnas noted with amusement that if he had possessed one, Saix's tail would probably be wagging a mile a minute by now. He ruffled his puppy's hair again and settled back down on the blankets.

"Now, with all of that business taken care of...shall we eat, my puppy?" He asked. Saix nodded as he treated Xemnas to a delicate yawn, exposing his perfect, delicate little fangs to his master as he settled in on the blankets beside him and picked up his cup of hot chocolate once more, curling into his master's embrace. Xemnas smirked, stroking Saix's hair. Let Axel interlope all he liked; he was the only man that would ever touch Saix in this way, and that was enough to please him for the time being.


	85. Be Your Own Star

(For one, FUCK YOU TWEWY. FUCK YOU FOR MAKING WILLFULLY LETTING SOTA DIE A REQUIREMENT FOR GETTING A STAR. FUCK. YOU.

I got VERY attached to even the MINOR characters in TWEWY, which, I believe was the creator's point; they wanted to show that all people have their good things and their "sparks" inside them that keep them good people and worth reaching out to. Except for Konishi-aka Ironface the Squirrel-Killing Fuckbag-they are all really just...people. Broken people sometimes, or stupid people, or clutzy or silly or whatever people, but PEOPLE. That's what made them good and worth fighting for. That's what Megs saw. :)

So yeah, it broke my heart, so I'm just going to read the secret reports online. I don't care enough about them-I know most of them already anyway-to willingly refuse to help Sota. I know it's a video game. I don't care.

So yeah, like, (I have these as, like, verbal tics, so yeah-fuck that's not even on purpose! I can't stop)-my Neku is basically a Minamimoto cosplayer with a handbag. He has the best "swag" in the game if you can get it. Oh Sho. :3

And Uzuki/Kariya FOREVER AND ALWAYS. :D I wrote a stupid crappy little Uzuki/Koki fic in honor of them, which I am indeed shamelessly plugging shutup. :D

Demyx deserves to be badass. That is all.

Also, yes, Lexaeus didn't do so well either. Poor bubbie. :( Although lol Didi. Belle has hidden depths. :D

CAKE/MOUTH SEX YES god the only reason I don't rate this thing M is because I'm such a review whore.

DEAR XIGBAR,

YOU ARE SUCH A SLUT I SWEAR TO GOD.

With love,

ari.

Anyways, yeah, TWEWY does bad things to me emotionally and Xigbar is a slut. Woo!

Don't own~

Dedicated to CHRISTMAS. GET HERE SOON. :D)

* * *

Demyx yawned, stretching out his arms and cracking his wrists, wincing in relief as the bones shifted and settled back into their proper places. He had taken Peggy out to a small shop in Traverse Town to get her strings tuned, and after explaining it to Xigbar, his lover had promised that he would be in the library and waiting for him to get home. Demyx smiled in anticipation as he headed down the hallway with Peggy strapped to his back, (which the sitar normally detested, however, since she had just been repaired, Demyx would rather that he gave her time to adjust to her tighter strings), almost at the library entrance.

Once he finally reached the massive blackwood doors, he pushed them open without a moment's hesitation and walked inside the library's threshold as he called out, "Xiggy? I came home! I brought Peggy with me too, so maybe I could show you the new song we were working on, and-" He stopped mid-sentence, realizing that Xigbar wasn't in the library. He swallowed. Xigbar never broke his promises, so something had to have gone wrong...

His eyes widened with horror. Maybe Xiggy had gotten worried about him and gone to search Traverse Town for him, and oh-Xemnas said the Keyblade Bearer was dangerous, and if _the Superior _said it was dangerous, it had to be, and Xiggy had been so worried, and-

He felt the pulsing, tugging, throbbing sensation start up in his chest again, and he knew that he was going to explode in a fit of rage if he wasn't careful. He took Peggy out of her case and gripped her handle for comfort as she hummed soothingly and tried to calm him down. He looked around the library again and searched all the halls of books, unable to stop himself from seeing his lover broken and bleeding from the Keyblade's blows, fading away into the darkness, and-

_No no no oh no, Xigbar, Xiggy please-_

"XIGBAR?" Demyx screamed, eyes wild with panic as he darted around the shelves, desperate to find some trace of his lover. "Xiggy, this isn't funny anymore! Xigbar! Xigbar, you're scaring me, please!" He begged, throat closing up around him as he felt tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. "Xigbar! Come on, Xiggy!"

He heard the soft swish of a cloak behind him and turned around, praying it was Xigbar who would be standing in front of him safe and sound. However...

Lexaeus stood in front of him, his massive build almost preventing him from fitting in between the shelves. He raised an eyebrow and silently beckoned for Demyx to follow him out into the main part of the library. Demyx followed without hesitation; Lexaeus was one of Xigbar's brothers, and he had to know where Xigbar was...

"Hey, Lexaeus?" He managed to ask as he choked the fear in his voice down into submission, "I...I can't find Xigbar, and he promised he would wait here for me until I came home and now I think he went out searching for me and the stupid Keyblade Knight killed him and made him fade into the darkness, so please tell me where he is because I'm two parts scared and one part ready to destroy everything around me until I find out where Xigbar is, and that part of me scares me really bad." He rushed, his run on sentence making it hard for him to breathe as he felt himself trembling with rage.

Lexaeus was quiet for a minute, which was starting to put Demyx even further on edge; he could see red around the edges of his vision, and Peggy was starting to glow dark blue and tremble in his hands. Then the older man smiled, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder and squeezing it soothingly.

"Well, I understand your anger, but at least wait until you are out of the library. Books are rather susceptible to water-based attacks, wouldn't you agree?" He asked. Demyx nodded, even giving him a soft giggle in response as he let Lexaeus guide him into Xigbar's empty chair. The larger man sat in his own chair across from Xigbar's and faced Demyx, leaning on the table in front of him as he took out one of his small block puzzles. Demyx tilted his head and watched his skillful fingers work over the well-worn wooden cube in awe.

"How can you do that so easily?" He asked in a soft, hushed voice ringing with amazement. Lexaeus smiled, holding out the completed puzzle to Demyx as the musician took it in his hands and undid the placement of the blocks before starting on it himself. He frowned in annoyance, the tip of his tongue poking out from between his lips as he grimaced at the puzzle. "I mean, come on! This is totally super hard!" He exclaimed in frustration, tossing the puzzle back to Lexaeus, who once again finished it with no trouble. Lexaeus outright laughed this time, the low, rumbling sound reminding Demyx more of a roar than an actual laugh.

"This is one of my older puzzles, Demyx. Once you have completed them enough, they become sort of like an extension of your thoughts; it's like slipping into a well-worn groove, and it lets me focus on something outside my own problems. It might look complex, but considering how well I know the puzzle's ins and outs, even the slightest hint of complexity is lost, and I can clear my mind with little trouble." He replied.

Demyx nodded as he settled deeper into the plush couch cushions. He looked up at Lexaeus with wide, innocent ocean-bright turquoise eyes, and gave him a hesitant smile. "I guess that makes sense." He agreed. "But, um, I hate to be rude, just...I really am worried. Do you know where Xigbar went?" He asked. Lexaeus nodded.

"Actually, yes." He smiled once more. "He's down in the kitchen, if my memory serves me right. He was asking Dilan for help with something." He added. Demyx blinked, shocked.

"Asking him with help for what?" He said, confused and slightly saddened. "He promised he would wait for me..." He trailed off, looking away as Peggy hummed sadly. Lexaeus shook his head.

"No, Demyx; what Xigbar was asking for help with was a cake." He said, watching with slight amusement at how quickly the boy perked up at the thought of cake. "He wanted to surprise you, and he didn't think he would be gone for so long. I get the feeling Braig doesn't understand how the concept of using an oven really works." He muttered dryly. Demyx giggled again, sighing with relief.

"Oh, okay. That's good. I was afraid the Keyblade Bearer went after him..." He sighed. "I guess I'm just worried for his sake." He said.

Lexaeus bit back an amused snort at the thought of someone like Demyx worrying about someone like _Xigbar _being able to take care of himself, considering he knew just what the boy could do when pushed far enough on Xigbar's behalf. He shook his head and nodded.

"It's understandable. We are all rather on the edge, my brothers and I most of all. We've all seen firsthand what a Keyblade can do in the hands of someone who is unworthy of wielding it, and it isn't a pleasant sight." He murmured. Demyx nodded.

"So is that why you look so sad and worried?" He asked. Lexaeus started and looked at him in complete and utter shock. Demyx laughed again, tapping the tip of his nose with a single gloved finger. "It's written all over your face, Lexaeus. I'm not stupid, you know." He added. "I can see things...you know, like, about people. I know you don't talk much, but if you want to talk, I can sit up here and listen. And you can have some of the cake too, mmkay?" He offered. Lexaeus couldn't help but smile.

"I see why Braig went after you with such passion, Demyx." He murmured. "My brother is truly a lucky man."

Demyx blushed and looked away self-consciously, nervously tugging on a strand of his hair as he gave Lexaeus a shy grin. "Aww, I'm just glad I found Xiggy. Even if we don't have hearts, he just makes me so happy." His eyes got peaceful and dreamy as he smiled. "He's exactly what I always wanted, and just...he was worth all the stuff I went through, you know, with my big brother and all." He murmured. Lexaeus nodded, unable to speak as Demyx seemed to shine with the same sort of happiness he wanted so desperately to see on Larxene's face.

"So, what's the problem, Lexy? What got you so worried?" He asked, leaning on the table and putting his head on his hands, settling his elbows in on top of the shining oak surface. He focused all of his attention on the older man, and Lexaeus actually had to look away for a moment from such an inquisitive and understanding gaze. He still wasn't used to anyone but his brothers looking him in the eye, and for Demyx to meet his gaze with so little shame still managed to startle him. He swallowed, beginning his story with Demyx as a captive audience of one.

"I was to take Larxene with me on a mission to Twilight Town today." He began. "It was a simple recon mission, but I admit, I had ulterior motives as well. I was hoping..." He sighed. "...Well, I was hoping that she would open up to me. You see, the same sort of connection that you and Xigbar share is the kind of connection I share with Larxene. However, I don't know how to get through to her." He confessed. Demyx nodded.

"Yeah, I guess it would be kinda tough." He said, giving him a sheepish look. "I mean, she kinda scares me sometimes. I can imagine she would be tough to get along with." He replied. Lexaeus shook his head.

"It's not that she's tough to get along with, Demyx; she's actually a very sharp-witted, beautiful woman, albeit with a rather caustic tongue..." He added wryly, watching Demyx giggle. "In any case, the problem is not her personality, but rather, her past." He sighed. "Demyx, something happened to her. Something awful and wretched. And whatever it was, its influence was and is so strong that she has suppressed almost all memories of the incident or entire part of her life, and thus, I cannot get any answers as to what it is and how I can help out of her." He said, shaking his head as if the small gesture would clear away the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. Demyx tilted his head as he sunk deep into thought.

"Well, do you have any clues?" He asked. Lexaeus couldn't help but shudder as he thought of what might have happened to his Larxene.

"Marluxia and I believe she might have been raped." He replied.

Demyx was very quiet for a minute. Without a single word, he got up, walked over to the wall, and punched it with a sudden ferocity that outright stunned Lexaeus.

"Fucking bastard." He finally said, clenching the wall so hard his knuckles turned bone-white. "Fucking _bastard." _

Lexaeus nodded slowly, unwilling to provoke the younger Nobody any further with any quick, harsh gestures. "Yes, Demyx. It was...horrible, whatever happened to her." He watched as Demyx turned to him and suddenly realized that while Xigbar might have been the more battle-hardened of the two lovers, that did not, in any way, mean Demyx was not dangerous when provoked. The fury in his eyes made Lexaeus back off for a minute before adding, "You ought to sit down; Braig will be up here soon enough with the cake."

Demyx nodded, slowly climbing back into the seat and watching Lexaeus intently. "So, was that why you got so frustrated? Was the mission that bad?" He asked. Lexaeus shook his head.

"It wasn't that the mission was bad, Demyx. It was that I simply couldn't get within a foot of Larxene without her trembling in obvious fear. She trusts me enough not to harm me for getting near her, but she doesn't trust me enough for me to get closer to her quite yet." He said. Demyx nodded before noticing the sadness reflected in the larger man's eyes. "I couldn't even get her to look me in the eyes, Demyx." He wasn't sure why he was confessing all his pains and sorrows to the young musician, but he didn't care; he needed to pour out all the suffering and frustration he had been going through and experiencing, and Demyx was a willing ear he so desperately needed.

"She was frightened of me. She _is _frightened of me, and that hurts me more than anything else in the world. I don't want her to fear me. I want her to trust me. I want her to _love _me. I think...I think some part of her does, or is at least willing to reach out and try-that's why this connection exists, after all-but she has been beaten in submission by someone who only saw something good and _broke it._" He clenched his fists against the table so hard that Demyx could hear the wood creaking and groaning in protest underneath his strength. "They_ hurt her_. They hurt_ my Larxene a_nd I want to call in the debt and kill _every last one of the sons of bitches that hurt her_." He snarled.

Demyx backed away slightly as Peggy's strings pulsed and hummed. Lexaeus had gone beyond anger and was in a state of righteous, hideous fury. While Demyx could handle it with Xigbar, considering he knew how to calm his lover down after being with him and seeing some of the more violent, deadly sides of his angel, he didn't know how to calm Lexaeus down or get him to step away from the knife's edge.

"Aeleus." The soft, deep voice interrupting them caused both Demyx and Lexaeus start violently and made the two of them practically jump out of their skins as Xigbar and Xaldin opened the door to the library and walked in. Xaldin sighed. "Brother, please. You're frightening Demyx, and I doubt that Braig will take that very well." He reminded him. Lexaeus nodded, inhaling sharply and taking deep, slow breaths as Xigbar set down the borderline violently cheerful out of place strawberry shortcake.

"Hey, baby." Xigbar murmured, picking Demyx up and situating him safely on his lap as Demyx squealed with delight and snuggled into his embrace. "Sorry I wasn't here, kitten. I just thought a cake would be a nice surprise." He said. Demyx nodded happily.

"Oh, of course! This is so nice, Xiggy!" He said, kissing his lover before taking a smidgen of frosting and daubing it on his nose. Xigbar laughed, swiping the cream off his nose and sticking his frosting-coated finger in Demyx's mouth. Xaldin and Lexaeus shared twin eye-rolling sessions and sighs of amused exasperation, and as the group laughed, Lexaeus felt his temper calming down in his chest, leaving the tugging sensation to become mild and pleasant once more.

Xigbar sighed, taking a slice of cake and breaking off bits with his fingers to feed to Demyx. As his lover lapped up the cake, strawberries, and cream from his fingers, he frowned at Lexaeus. "I take it the mission didn't go well, bro?" He asked. It wasn't truly a question, but Lexaeus nodded anyway. Xigbar sighed and handed him a slice of cake. "Eat something before you pour your heart out, Aeleus. You deserve a slice." He murmured.

Lexaeus nodded before taking a quick bite and explaining. "The short and honest version is that no matter what I do, I can't seem to get Larxene to trust me. Oh, she'll let me near her and let me speak to her, but I can't get too close, and god forbid I should touch her." He said quietly. "And perhaps if that was simply her personality, I could work around it. But no, oh no." He inhaled sharply again, choking down rage enough so he could speak.

"After conferring with Marluxia on the matter, I believe that Larxene has been sexually abused. Physically and emotionally as well, but the sexual assault is what is making her equal parts withdrawn and violent." He blinked back tears for a minute, surprised by his own reaction. He hadn't been expecting to break down so quickly, but perhaps it was just one of the other odd effects that the beautiful little nymph had on him.

"Whether or not this is the case, the point remains that she is hurt because of something that I had no control over. Having no real enemy to fight yet being faced with such a momentous problem is...something I haven't really ever done before." He confessed. "If I was dealing with a problem, there was a clear cut plan behind facing it, and the enemy was always a clear foe in some way or another. But..." He sighed. "I don't know what I'm doing." He looked up at them, and everyone else in the room was slightly awed at the sharp glint that suddenly bloomed in his eyes.

"However, I don't care. No matter what, I truly believe she is worth whatever fight I must undertake, even if I don't know what sort of foes I'm fighting." He murmured. Xigbar nodded and grasped his shoulder before squeezing it gently and giving his brother an affectionate kiss to the top of his head, ruffling his auburn hair and laughing.

"Adorable, Lex." He teased. "You'll do just fine." He turned and shot a grin at Xaldin as his eyes glinted with wicked amusement. "Although I don't think baby Didi is going to be much help in this matter, now is he?" He purred.

Demyx barely had time to laugh before Xigbar was slammed against the wall by six of Xaldin's lances and left trapped and wriggling under the blades as he swore heavily and tried in vain to pull the lance blades out of his clothes. Demyx stared in shock, but Lexaeus didn't even bat an eyelash as he finished his slice of cake.

"That's a new one, Dilan." He remarked, handing his brother another slice of cake. Xaldin nodded before biting into the sugared strawberry on his slice with a sigh of pleasure.

"Indeed." He replied. "I learned that one from Belle."

Lexaeus figured it was better not to ask.


	86. So Have Hope, Peppermint Wind

(Not only do you get LarxLex foreshadowing, you get AkuRoku foreshadowing and a Shel Silverstein ref. :D Go you~

Faarghg, I have a research paper due, right? RIGHT AFTER I tell my mom, she literally says "oh I need you to bake cookies tomorrow lolkthnxbai"

I wonder sometimes if ANYONE listens to me at home. ^^;

Anyways, christmasy spirit and all is really only hitting me now. And I am sick so Christmas can kinda shove it. D:

But yeah, bottom line, adorable fluff and foreshadowing. Christ I feel terrible.

I hope you like this chapter~ If you do, drop a review, huh? I procrastinate when you guys don't! ^^;

Love you all lots. I'll be updating before christmas, but hey, in advance; merry christmas, y'all. You all rock. :D

Don't own.

Dedicated to feeling less crappy. D:)

* * *

Marluxia yawned and stretched out on his bed, settling in on top of the covers and brushing his hair. He was rather worn out after the day's experiences, and he was more than ready to curl up on his bed and sleep for a week.

He managed to have a few minutes of relaxation before he heard someone knocking at his door. He stifled a yawn and called out, "Come in."

The door opened with a soft squeaking sound against the carpet, and Marluxia barely had time to process the sounds of feet running across the floor before Larxene leapt on top of him and hugged him tightly. He didn't freak out or push her off of him, despite his protesting ribs, knowing that she probably needed someone to vent to and open up with. He simply inhaled for a minute and marshaled his thoughts before murmuring, "Hey, Larxene. Did your mission go well?"

Larxene sat up and rolled off of him, taking a pillow and cuddling up next to him on the bed. He couldn't help but smile at the ease with which she lounged about when she was with him. As much as he wanted her to be always at ease, (especially around Lexaeus), he couldn't help but feel almost prideful at the fact that the only comfort she sought was from him. He stroked her hair and toyed with the quirky little strands as she sighed and met his eyes.

"Do you want the truth, Marly?" She asked, as a small frown creased her features. Marluxia snorted with amusement.

"Obviously, Larxene. It couldn't have been that bad, hmm? Just tell me what you two did." He replied. Larxene nodded.

"It was just...we didn't really do much. I kind of just wandered around Twilight Town and tried to find something out about this stupid Keyblade Bearer or whatever the hell they're called, but nothing really came up. Then we got ice cream and came home." She said. "It was actually pretty good. I guess I'm starting to see the appeal of sea-salt ice cream, but..." She shrugged and gave him a cheerful smirk. Marluxia blinked, slightly confused before he realized what he had noticed what was missing from her day.

"Did you spend any time with Lexaeus, Larxene?" He asked. She gave him a look of pure and simple confusion.

"Why would I?" She asked. "I would be alone with a man, Marluxia. Good girls aren't alone with men who aren't their husbands..." She trailed off, biting her lip nervously. Marluxia raised an eyebrow.

"Princess, what the hell does that make me?" He asked, trying to keep his tone light and teasing even as he started to feel panic jolting throughout his thoughts. Larxene laughed suddenly, and the normally dry and teasing tone of her voice returned, causing Marluxia to relax with relief.

"You're my precious little fairy boy, Marly." She teased, ruffling his hair and hugging him tight. "You're my best friend in the whole wide world." She told him. While Marluxia knew that he really should be more worried about trying to get her to trust Lexaeus, he decided to be selfish for a minute and enjoy the love she had for him.

"And you're my best friend in the whole universe, Larxene." He replied, kissing the top of her head. "You mean everything to me." He said, hugging her tight. He couldn't deny that he loved how she relaxed into his embrace so easily even as he felt guilty for taking what Lexaeus was denied. He sighed, stroking her hair and rubbing her neck, smiling in amusement as she groaned with relief as the tense muscles were relaxed under his gentle touch. "But Larxene, Lexaeus needs your help." He told her, suddenly realizing another angle he could work it from. "He's going to have to make dinner tomorrow, and he really doesn't know how to cook. Maybe you could offer your assistance?"

He nodded, satisfied with his plan; if Larxene thought that she was helping Lexaeus or teaching him something new, she might not balk at spending time with him. All she needed was to feel like she was in control. He wasn't expecting her to stiffen under his arms and shiver, an unconscious shudder wracking her body.

"Oh." She murmured. "Oh, of course. Good girls cook for their husbands...yeah." She nodded. "Good idea, Marly. I should help the lummox out in the kitchen. Bet I could run circles around him." She teased.

Marluxia nodded along with her, but in his mind he was already reeling at the literal blink-and-miss-it changes in her personality. Just what kind of hell had Relane been through to turn her into a submissive, quiet little waif? That sure as hell wasn't his Larxene! He winced and made a note of it to remind Lexaeus about what she had said. Larxene was brave and wonderful and savage and strong; Larxene was his powerful lioness, and he would be damned before he saw her broken down into a helpless kitten.

He kissed the top of her head again and held her close while he tried not to think of anything-not even Vexen or his own relationship-except helping his best friend out of whatever hell hole someone else had thrown her down into.

* * *

The night was quiet and soft, for once in perhaps that rare sliver of a blue moon. Xemnas and Saix were asleep in each other's arms, so close they could have switched bodies and skins and never noticed the difference. Vexen, (much to his dismay), had just gone to bed; he would have stayed up later, but all Zexion had to do was utter the word "Marluxia," and the pale blonde scientist had bolted for his bedroom like the hounds of hell were after him. Thus, Lexaeus and Zexion had gone to bed laughing before peacefully drifting off into sleep.

Xigbar had fallen asleep before Demyx, surprisingly enough; however, the surprise was explained when Demyx stroked his lover's hair with one hand and played with Peggy's strings in the other. The soft, dulcet tones of a dying lullaby twirled and pirouetted through the castle as Demyx began to fall asleep as well, slowly sinking into his lover's embrace as Arpeggio's strings hummed to them sweet dreams.

Xaldin had fallen asleep in Luxord's arms with his soft midnight hair trailing over his lover's skin, and even as he fell asleep feeling the unique wonderful weight of Xaldin in his arms, Luxord could understand that where he was right then was the only thing he ever wanted out of heaven.

Larxene had fallen asleep in Marluxia's room, too tired to move. Once Marluxia had made sure she was safe, he had passed out and fallen asleep within an instant, his wounds and the taxing fight he had undergone that day overtaking his senses and finally forcing him to bed. Thus, all the lovers and brothers and friends of the castle were asleep.

All except Axel.

The redhead was walking the edges of the world, skirting across the places where the sidewalk ends and felt peppermint wind gusting and twirling across his senses and climbing up into his nostrils and curling up in his mind like delicate cats on windowsills, and it was dark and endless and his stomach felt sick, like it was preparing for the worst as his body seemed to beg to fall into the darkness below him. Axel ignored it all, continuing to walk on the pale, dry grass and cool in the peppermint wind.

There was something wrong with him now. He knew it. Ever since he had gotten back from the mission with his puppy, he had been...off. Wrong. Not even needling the puppy-stealer was enough to make him feel alive. He wasn't sure what the problem was, and it unnerved him. He was usually someone who played it by ear anyway, but the problem right now was something paranoid and creeping inside him, and it...disturbed him, for want of a better word. Upset his mind and soul. He wasn't even sure what kind of enemy he was fighting, or even if the problem was something he had to fight.

He looked up at the sky again and sighed. No stars. He needed to go somewhere where he could see the stars. For some reason the stars had become the last point of hope in his world, and without even considering it for another instant, he disappeared into the darkness and closed his eyes to dream of a place where he could look at an endless sea of stars and perhaps find his answers in them.

Axel had gone through the darkness in only the quickest of breaths; he wasn't interested in exploring the worlds, and the darkness in some way seemed to recognize that, leaving him only one portal which he could go through. He disappeared into it without a second thought and opened his eyes to see the rest of the world below him. He panicked, breaths becoming short and shallow until he realized he was standing on a clock tower. He raised an eyebrow. He hadn't ever been to this place before, and in the dark, he couldn't make out anything familiar to discern at least a general idea of where he was.

As he tilted his head up, he suddenly realized it didn't matter. The sky was full of stars. It was full to _bursting _with stars, absolutely simply wonderfully brimming and brewing with endless streams and dreams of stars, millions of little pinpricks of light in the unforgiving night sky that shone down upon him and penetrated his thoughts.

_a little boy with eyes like stars_

_do I wonder where you are_

_yes I do_

_R-O-X-A-S_

Axel shook his head. He didn't seem to be able to focus on whatever his thoughts were trying to tell him. It was like trying to hold water in his palm; he could grab at it all he liked and try to cup it in his hands, but without fail, it would slip through even the smallest of cracks and leave him empty-handed. He looked up at the stars again and lost himself in the little individual twinkles. They were perfect; independent and unique, each of them shining on their own and sharing their little bright rays with the world.

"Light travels." He spoke out loud, startling even himself as his voice rung out in the darkness. "Red travels the farthest...but stars aren't red. They take a lot of time to get here...to find their way to us." He swallowed, and the words hung heavy in his throat. "They're worth the wait though, aren't they? The stars...the little lights...in the darkness..." He felt a soft wind stir around him and ruffle his hair in a gentle caress. For a second, he thought he heard a gentle laugh following the wind on its merry way, but as he looked up at the sky and saw the world below him was nothing but darkness, he figured he had been mistaken.

"All we ever see of stars are their old photographs." He murmured. "But I don't want that anymore. I want the real thing. I...I want the light in my hands." He took his hands-his pale, delicate lithe hands, like bone-white spiders-and placed them against his chest as if he was holding something delicate and precious close to him and keeping it safe from the darkness. "I want the light in my heart." He whispered.

_R-O-X-A-S_

_I'm coming_

And so Axel had hope.


	87. Solve for Tomorrow

(LarxLex and some MarVex hints in this chapter, yes~

Once again, major trigger warning for mentions of rape and violence. Gosh, Larxene.../cuddle/

So I'm not having a very good day; I lost the last four pages of my research paper, which is a MAJOR GRADE, (as in if I fail, /as if!/ I fail the marking period), and I was kind of hysterical. Plus, I woke up at six-twenty. My bus for school comes at six twenty-five. I did manage to catch it just in time, but I didn't eat breakfast or have a cup of coffee. (That for me is akin to like, a heroin addict's withdrawal. Caffeine is bad for you, kids, but who cares?)

And then I found out that my research paper was NOT at school. So I had to write four pages worth of work in the twenty minutes I had to skip class. THANKFULLY, my first period teacher is so laid back he didn't care. But still.

And then I found out tomorrow I am supposed to have a full day of work.

No. No, fuck you. I have had one of the most stressful fucking weeks I have had in MONTHS. Fuck you and fuck your school-based bullshit. I'm staying home tomorrow no matter what. Fuck. That.

Also, rest assured, I should start working on the Christmas special tonight! It will be cute and fluffy and stupid and awesome. :D

So yeah, btw; haha I forgot I'm still really far ahead, lol. It's so hard not to spoil ffff

Ohwell~ Hope you all love this chapter, yep~ :)

Don't own.

Dedicated to everyone else who's having a stressful week/day/month/year Don't worry, guys, it'll work out.)

* * *

After even Axel had come home and gone to bed, the night passed by quickly, and before Larxene knew it, she was awake again and laid out in Marluxia's bed. She snorted and snuffled very ungracefully, not caring if she looked proper in the morning; besides, if she didn't want to be up, why should she let Marluxia sleep?

"C'mon, fairy boy." She mumbled, voice heavy with sleep as she shook Marluxia's shoulder. "Time to get up and make Vexen breakfast." She yawned, tugging on a strand of his hair as the botanist grunted and rolled over to give her a sleepy glare. She shot him a grin in response. "Aww, how cute, Marly. You snore like a girl, you know that?" She teased. Marluxia rolled his eyes and sat up, pushing a pillow into her side and making unintelligible noises of annoyance as she laughed.

"Well at least I don't hog the covers." He shot back, standing up and stretching, grimacing as his bones shifted and his muscles stretched, popping joints back into their normal places. Larxene rolled her eyes at him and ignored his comments as she kissed his cheek.

"Gonna go get dressed. Do we have plans today?" She asked. Marluxia snorted with amusement.

"Does "bother Vexen all day" sound like a plan?" He replied. Larxene shrugged.

"Aw, for you, maybe, but I don't feel like wasting my time on the hoary old goat. He's so your problem, Marly." She teased. Marluxia puffed up like an offended Pekingese who had been sleeping on their hair the wrong way.

"He is not a "hoary old goat," Larxene! He is a very attractive gentleman with beautiful feet instead of hooves." He muttered, giving her a sniff of disdain as she settled for laughing and ruffling his already-messy hair before heading out to go get dressed in her own room.

Breakfast passed quickly enough; Marluxia had started to work Vexen up to fattier foods and as such had prepared him French toast dripping with butter, syrup, and powdered sugar along with a fruit salad. Vexen grumbled halfheartedly under his breath before choking down his pride and eating the food, (but not before glaring at Marluxia from across the table.)

After everyone had scattered about the castle to laze around and relax, Marluxia caught Lexaeus as he left the kitchen. He beckoned to the older man, who followed without hesitation. He was confused about what had made Marluxia seem so on edge, and from the way Marluxia moved, it seemed like he had something urgent to tell him about. Lexaeus suddenly realized Marluxia had stopped at the end of the hallway and was now facing the other man. Lexaeus raised an eyebrow. "All right, Marluxia. What's the matter?" He asked. "You must have had a reason to bring me here, correct?"

Marluxia nodded, keeping his eyes on the larger man as he pointed down the hall and towards Larxene's room. "She thinks you need help cooking dinner. Which means you are going to have to pretend you're surprised when she comes in tonight and starts helping you. This might be your one big chance. Don't you dare screw it up, you hear me?" He threatened. Lexaeus laughed.

"I doubt I could do such a thing, Marluxia." He replied. "All right, then. I'll wait for her. Tell her to be in the kitchen around five tonight." He told him. Marluxia nodded.

"Fine by me." He responded. "Oh, and Lexaeus?" He said. Lexaeus winced, not liking the small smirk on Marluxia's face or what it implied.

"Yes?" He asked. Marluxia's smirk simply grew wider.

"Good luck." He teased, disappearing into the darkness with a soft, sudden hushing sound. Lexaeus groaned, glaring at the spot where Marluxia had once stood.

"You're about as helpful as always, Marluxia." He grumbled. However, he couldn't be too angry; after all, this meant one more opportunity to be with Larxene...

He sighed with pleasure and smiled with reckless abandon as he walked down the hallway to the library. This would all work out. He just knew it.

* * *

Vexen sighed as he headed back downstairs to work on his ever-failing mitosis project. He was sick and tired of failure. Everything worked out! The hypothesis had been proven over and over, the materials were exact and carefully preserved, he followed every instruction to the letter, but _the god damned hearts just would not grow. _He was sick and tired of failing and feeling worthless, unworthy of the title of Wise Ansem's (admittedly former) apprentice...

Not being able to feel, he shouldn't have been walking with such a heavy tread. Not being able to feel, he shouldn't have felt self-loathing gnawing at his thoughts. Not being able to feel, he shouldn't desperately just want to curl up and forget the world for the rest of eternity.

For once in his life, he stood in front of his lab tables and journals and realized he just didn't want to work. He bit back a sob of agony and frustration before continuing on and going past the main rooms and into his bedroom, opening the door and shutting it behind him with a soft click as he got ready to crawl back into bed.

Marluxia headed down to the lab in the hopes of catching Vexen on his way into the catacombs; he had brought the scientist a few chocolate cupcakes as a snack, and he was going to make sure that his Vexen actually knew they were there. Otherwise he would probably just chuck them away. Marluxia laughed softly to himself in amusement; of course, if Vexen knew they had come from _him, _he just couldn't say no, could he? He laughed slightly louder, balancing the plate on his hip as he opened the door to Vexen's room.

The blonde was sprawled out over the bed, blankets rolled up and curled over him as he slept in a loose cuddling position across his pillow. Marluxia swallowed and fought down a shriek of joy as he set the cupcakes down on a sturdy-looking stack of papers. He walked over to the bed as quietly as possible as he unzipped his boots and left himself in stocking feet as he sat beside Vexen on his bed.

He sighed in delight as he looked down at the sleeping ice queen. His pale blonde hair was fanned out around his face as his delicate black eyelashes rested against pale, proud cheekbones. Marluxia traced an idle finger down his nose and across his cheeks, trailing it down to his perfect little pointed chin before lifting his hand away to stroke his hair. Marluxia was surprised by how silky and soft it was; considering that he was strewn so messily over the bed, Vexen's hair was remarkably free of knots. (Marluxia had to admit he was rather jealous of his beautiful lover in that regard; brushing his hair every morning could become downright nightmarish.)

He ran his hand down Vexen's pale creamy neck until he reached his shoulder. Marluxia noticed the slight buildup of fat around his clavicle and grinned with delight. It was a small step, but after all, one step at a time...

He couldn't help but reach down to his chest, feeling his lover's ribs through the thin cloth and frowning in disappointment. It wasn't enough, but there wasn't much he could do right now. Time would be on his side, and he would make sure Vexen was healthy and safe.

His perusings finished, he laid back against the pillows and watched as Vexen continued to rest. It took him a minute to realize it, but the tear-tracks on his lover's pale face were still wetly shining in the dim light. Marluxia shook his head, confused. He hadn't done anything that would push Vexen that far, nor had anyone else. (Because if they had, oh, he would have found out and brutally vivisected them by now.) He shrugged.

Something was wrong, and he was going to get to the bottom of it. The solution was simple as that; he was going to get the answer from Vexen one way or another and find some way to comfort him so he wouldn't have to cry about the worthless little problem ever again. Marluxia smiled, satisfied. Just before he stood up, he kissed away the few droplets of tears clinging stubbornly to his lover's cool cheek. With his final gift presented, Marluxia disappeared into the darkness, leaving only a single petal behind to show that he had been there in the first place.

* * *

Larxene clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, eagerly checking the clock every five minutes or so as she polished her knives. According to Marluxia, Lexaeus had wanted her in there around five, and it was almost four-fifty-five by now...right?

She checked the clock again and growled in annoyance. No, not four fifty five. It was only four-fifty, and she was going to go stir crazy if she didn't go see him. Lexaeus needed her help. And as a good woman, she should be willing to cook for the men in the castle...

_Perhaps it would keep them pleased enough to fuck you gentle rather than leave your filthy little slut's hole a bleeding wreck, Relane. _The voice cooed to her. She shivered, feeling bile gather in the back of her throat. That voice kept coming back more and more, and no matter how much she fought against it or tried to drive it away, it would just keep coming back; at this point, she just shrunk into herself and pretended it didn't exist.

It hurt a lot though, and now she felt sick to her stomach. She couldn't stay in her room. It was a safe space for her, and if the man behind that awful liar voice decided to come and hunt her down, it wouldn't be safe anymore. She had to go somewhere even safer...where...?

_Kitchen! _A little spark of lightning jumped up and down on her shoulder, flickering and crackling across her plain white tank top. _Kitchenkitchen Lexaeus! Lexaeus-strong-safe!_ Its words were comforting, but even more than that, they were true. Larxene sighed in relief, nuzzling the little spark against her cheek before leaving her room and heading right for the kitchen.

The voice was trying to drown her thoughts out, but Larxene choked it down as she ran throughout the hallways and down the stairs, bolting down the first two flights before finally reaching the kitchen and tearing open the door, panting heavily and gasping for breath.

Lexaeus stood in the center of the room, startled out of taking the food from the pantries with her sudden entrance. She watched as he walked carefully over to the counter and set the boxes and bags of food down before meeting her eyes again and bowing deeply to her. She blinked, startled by the gesture.

"Larxene." He greeted her politely, gesturing to the kitchen with a single massive hand. "I'm glad to see you here. Do you think we could start early? It's at your discretion of course, but since you're here..." He trailed off, unsure of what to say. Larxene shrugged, giving him a nervous half-smile.

"Sure. Why not? I don't really have anything else to do, and since Marluxia said you really needed help..." She finished, unsure of what to say either. Lexaeus settled for holding out a hand. She nodded, taking his hand in hers and letting him guide her across the kitchen. "So I guess...let's get crackin'." She murmured. Lexaeus nodded, giving her a warm smile.

"All right then, Larxene. I was thinking something simple to start with; nothing big, just a salad, and I'll throw some bread in the oven as an aside. You can sit and relax for now, considering I have to start the oven and get the vegetables." He told her. Larxene stared at him like he had just announced he was the eighteenth king of France and was going to war with his six-headed dragon. He gave her an odd look, but didn't press the issue he knew had to be lurking under her placid mask. "Larxene? You ought to sit down." He said gently. Larxene finally sat in the small blackwood chair that was next to him and stared up at him with wide, disbelieving eyes.

He fought down the urge to punch a hole through the wall as he saw the stunned awe in her eyes, knowing that his reaction, while justified, would only frighten her further. He inhaled deeply and turned back to the oven, turning the dials and watching as the fire sparked and stirred in the slots. He watched the gas burn, satisfied, before he turned back to the fridge and opened it, rummaging through it until he found the lettuce leaves and cucumbers. He set them next to the carrots he had already put out on the counter and shut the door before turning back to Larxene.

"All right. Now, since I don't want you doing all the work, we'll split up. I can work on the bread, and since you are so good with knives, you can cut the vegetables for the salad. Does that sound fair?" He asked. She shook her head.

"No..." She whispered. Lexaeus raised an eyebrow.

"All right then. I take it you're just tired? That's understandable. We'll trade; I'll cut the vegetables and you can put bread in the oven." He offered. She shook her head even more fiercely.

"_No." _She hissed. "_You _sit. _I _work. You're the _man. _You don't cook." She said. Lexaeus didn't know what to say. Another piece of her puzzle had just been given to him on a platter and he was struck dumb, unsure of what to tell her. He shook his head and decided to go with the truth.

"I might be a man, but I am not a monster. I would not force a lady to cook for me, especially after I was the one asking for her assistance. You are more than welcome to help me, Larxene, but if you are only doing this because you think you must, I would rather you didn't bother. Your well-being and safety are far more important to me than having someone to aid me in the kitchen." He said, trying to lighten up his words with a small smile. She just watched him with wide, frightened eyes. Lexaeus tried not to sigh before turning away and going back to the bread, putting it on one of the pans and sliding it into the oven.

He suddenly felt a gentle, timid hand squeeze his shoulder. He started, turning around to see Larxene standing behind him with a small, nervous smile on her face.

"I...can I..." She swallowed, trying furiously to force the word out, "_Help? _C-can I h-h-help you?" She asked. Lexaeus didn't say a word. He just nodded and guided her towards the cutting board, handing her a knife and gesturing to the vegetables. She nodded.

"It's fun cooking." She mused out loud, starting up a quick whick-whick-whick pattern of the knife upon the cutting-board. "Good wives cook. Good girls cook. Keeps their husbands happy. Keeps your hole from bleeding like a slut's hole. Sates the beast." She didn't notice Lexaeus staring at her in horror and just continued on. "Tit for tat. Keeps the wounds from re-opening and keeps his belly full. Belly of the beast. Tit for tat."

She put the knife down and turned around to face Lexaeus. Her eyes were blank, but there were tears gathering behind them.

"I don't want to bleed anymore." She said. Her voice was honest and raw and almost childlike in its plea, and the pain behind it brought Lexaeus to his knees as he pulled her into a hug. She stiffened, but the sparks running over her body in her defense did not harm him. He relaxed his hold anyway, not wanting to frighten her.

"You'll never bleed again, Larxene." He promised. "I will see to it." He looked up into her eyes and brushed a stray tear away from her eyelashes.

"Do I make you happy?" She asked. The question startled Lexaeus into silence, leaving her free to continue. "I need to make you happy. Tit for tat. I don't w-want to bleed. Please." She begged.

Lexaeus took her hand in his and kissed it, feeling the soft, delicate flesh under his lips and swearing to himself that he would die before that perfect porcelain skin was marred by any other's hand.

"As long as you are happy, Larxene," he promised, "I am happy."

She nodded, pulling her hand away before taking his hands in her other hand and pulling him up to stand upright. With a small smile, she went into the fridge and pulled out a small box of strawberries, holding them out to him.

"Strawberry smoothies sound nice." She said. "They would make us both happy." She added. He laughed, and his laugh only became warmer when he realized it had made her smile.

"Larxene, whatever you want will make me happy." He reminded her. She just grinned.

"Well, considering I know for a fact that fairy boy was planning on making Vexen strawberry cupcakes, I'm simply aiding and abetting his efforts to get the hoary old goat in his bed." She said cheerfully. Lexaeus inhaled sharply and clapped his hand over his mouth, trying not to burst out laughing. She gave him an odd look. "What? He is." She defended herself, folding her arms over her chest. Lexaeus shook his head.

"Oh, oh _god..." _He inhaled again, trying with all his might not to laugh. "Please, god, Larxene, whatever you do, just don't call him that to his face." He pleaded with her. She shrugged.

"Well, considering Marluxia's just another horny little animal, maybe they do deserve each other. We could put 'em on a nature preserve and charge admission. It's for science, right? The hoary old bastard would approve." She added.

Lexaeus couldn't help but laugh now, unable to stop himself. Larxene just smiled, ruffling his hair and grabbing her knife. "C'mon. You better start with dinner, Lexy." She teased.

He knew it had only been a small step, but even the smallest of steps right now made Lexaeus feel like he could fly as he picked up the knife and began to help his Larxene, hoping only for the best after having gotten just the slightest taste of paradise.


	88. Starbreath

(I'm sure at this point someone's going to be like WTF I THOUGHT THIS WAS ABOUT MARLUXIA LARXENE LEXAEUS AND VEXEN and all I can say is haha shutup. Considering it's been almost forty chapters of those four, something else has to happen!

Also I love writing Axel's stream of consciousness. I am only human, people.

So yeah, FORESHADOWING OMFG :O What will I roll out next?

Also yes a.) I am from the nineties and b.) Fruit by the Foot was WAAAY better than Fruit Roll-Ups. JFTR.

Yeah I'm a dork. Hey, if you got the reference, you're as bad as I am. ^^;

Now, I might not update tomorrow, because we're going up about an hour away to a relative's house to go do christmas eve shit, but hey, I'll have the Christmas special up come hell or high water, I swear.

So yeah; anything cool on your christmas lists? Did any of you know what you're getting already? I asked for a bunch of Satoshi Kon and Miyazaki movies, KH junk, and Dragon Age/Arkham Asylum. Speaking of, Arkham City looks AWESOME. :D Although looking at Harley makes me feel dirty. :(

Anyways, that's about it for this chapter~ I hope you enjoy it muchly! ^^

Don't own~

Dedicated to Satoshi Kon, who was gone too soon. RIP. We miss you already...)

* * *

Marluxia didn't say a word to either of them, but he knew a happy couple when he saw it. Larxene had actually sat next to Lexaeus at the table, and the two of them were having a casual discussion with Xigbar; the lack of drama made the two of them seem like that they had a chance. He sighed, stealing a glance of Vexen from across the table. The scientist hadn't said anything to him since he had come up for dinner, but Marluxia noted with pride that he had come up at all, and was eating an actual meal.

The table was calm and quiet, by their standards; it was a slow, lazy night, and no one was up to do much of anything, really. Tomorrow meant a few more missions, but until then, they all planned to laze about and do absolutely nothing.

The dishes were cleaned and tossed back into the cabinets cavalierly, food was tossed away and left for the Dusks, and the kettle was left to boil as everyone seemed to find themselves with a mug of coffee or hot chocolate.

The night went on, and the Organization, for want of a better word, _relaxed. _No one was in the lab; even Vexen had settled for going into the library and peacefully reading with Zexion by his side. Lexaeus sat beside them and toyed with his chains, watching over them both as he emptied his mind of all concern and solved the well-worn puzzles, his deft, gentle fingers working delicately over the fine metal bands.

Even the poker game that Axel had badgered Luxord, Xigbar, and Demyx into was quieter than normal; the air around them was only a pale blue as they won or lost hands, rather than the deep navy-blue streak that they had worn into the noise of the castle around them. It was just a rather normal night, with little trouble or drama.

Xemnas and Saix both went to bed early; Saix wanted to go out on his mission with Axel as early as possible, and Xemnas was just desperate to spend as much time with him alone as he could. Larxene and Marluxia both shacked up in Marluxia's room for the night, watching old black and white movies and laughing at the god-awful acting or the over-the-top theatrics. The castle was at peace, and nothing could change that-at least, not for the time being.

Eventually, however, everyone went to bed, and out of all of them, only Axel dreamed. And as for what Axel dreamed...

* * *

_Stars. There were only stars. Axel could have taken them and put them in his pocket if he had wanted. But stars were precious. You just didn't _do_ that with stars. You cradled them close and kissed their foreheads and rocked them to sleep. He was walking in an endless starry nightscape, and he didn't know where he wanted to go. All he knew was that there was a perfect little blonde boy waiting for him just up ahead, and if only he could remember the name_

_R-O-X-A-S_

_no _

_S-O-R-A_

_no, not that either_

_S-O-R-A and R-O-X-A-S_

_maybe_

_Axel clung to the names that came up around him, but it was like catching smoke; they just twirled and darted away from his delicate little spiderfingers, giggling all the while. He opened his mouth to speak, but all he could do was breathe out stars. _

_Two beautiful little eyes of blue opened up in front of him and he woke up, stained glass pouring out of the hallowed halls of his mind while he screamed himself senseless, choking on the old photographs stars had left behind for him._

Axel looked around his room and decided, as he looked out at the window and saw the sky becoming a pale violet, that today was going to be one hell of a day.

* * *

Twilight Town. Almost like a star. Twilight - the time of day, the twilight hours. Axel wasn't sure why he was here in the town that was almost like a star, but his Isa was by his side and he was okay with anything that could come his way as long as his puppy was with him.

The puppy-stealer had assigned them the mission almost to the exact second that Axel had stepped out of his doorway; the silver-haired son of a bitch gave him a quick smirk and ordered him to be back before dinner, since, and he could quote, "Anything too strenuous would ruin Saix's appetite for further...evening duties."

Fucking bastard. Like Isa would ever let himself be defiled by that sick fuck. Isa was too good for that rotten son of a bitch.

Axel swallowed his rage and squeezed his friend's hand tightly. Xemnas had given then the pretense of "examining the world for further details of the Keyblade Bearer," but he and his Isa knew full well they were basically being allowed to screw around with each other for the entire day. As much as Axel hated his Isa being within fifteen feet of the puppy-stealing motherfucker, he had to (rather grudgingly) admit that Isa could get them both some free time with nothing more than a whimper and a pout. Every silver lining, he guessed.

He continued on throughout the entrance of the town, not seeing the clock tower that loomed above him until quite some time later. It was just as well; they would have never spent time together if all he had done was obsess about the little starboy who he could only love and couldn't remember.

Saix yawned, looking up into the bright sunlight and wrinkling his nose. "Lea? Are you all right?" He called back. He knew his friend enjoyed the heat, but considering how quiet he had been for the past few minutes, Saix had begun to worry.

Thankfully, his worries were alleviated when Axel bounded up to him with two sea-salt ice creams in his hands. He handed him one and gave him an open, honest grin. "Yeah, puppy, I'm fine. I just saw one of those little stand-cart things, and I had a craving." He confessed, putting the ice cream in his mouth and purring with satisfaction. Saix nodded, accepting his answer without complaint.

He knew, deep inside himself, that he would have to sit down and have a serious talk with Lea about whoever Roxas was, but right now, not even the commitment he had to finding out information for his master could outweigh his need to spend time with his friend like they once had without a care in the world. So he just smiled and squeezed his friend's hand before following him out into the streets and down the cobblestone paths.

The two of them walked in silence and in peace for a time; they had both shed their coats, and now, clad in black pants and shirts, they seemed almost as normal as the children that seemed to come out of the fine woodwork of Twilight Town. Only the two of them knew of their eccentricities and deformities; among those with hearts, they walked heartless, and no one noticed the difference.

Saix looked up as a breeze whisked its way around him with a brisk snickering and whispering. He sighed, looking up at the clock tower that had just blossomed over the horizon. "Lea, would you like to go sit up there for awhile? I wanted to talk to you anyway." He said.

Axel looked up at the clock tower, and not even Saix, who had known him since he was almost out of the cradle and could tell almost every time what Lea was thinking, noticed his eyes widen with shock and awe. He schooled his expression and nodded.

"'Course. It looks nice enough." He said cheerfully. Saix nodded, sighing with relief as the two of them headed down the road and up to the clock tower.

Axel was almost eerily quiet as he and Saix made their way up to the clock tower's balcony. Saix didn't bring up his friend's almost painfully icy silence, instead beckoning for Axel to sit next to him. To his relief, Axel did so without hesitation, hugging him tight and sitting so close to him that he could have practically fallen into his lap. Saix sighed and smiled with amusement before leaning on Axel's shoulder.

"Lea, there's something I want to discuss with you." He finally said, breaking the silence. Saix was unsure of what his friend's reaction would really be, but he just had to pray that he would understand. "It's about Roxas." He said gently.

Axel, to his surprise, didn't react. He simply quirked an eyebrow and gave Saix an odd look.

"Puppy, I don't know anyone named-" He stopped and stiffened suddenly, as if the word had gotten caught in his mouth. Saix blinked, surprised.

"Lea?" He asked. "Lea, are you all right?"

The redhead shook his head. There was something alien beyond the depths of his bright-fire emerald eyes, and it was starting to unnerve Saix deeply.

"Yeah, puppy." He said. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Saix didn't have the heart to tell him. He sighed, kissing the top of his friend's head and inhaling the warm, gingersnap scent of Lea as it filled his senses. He wondered, in a vague burst of thought, if Roxas would want to do this; if the boy that Axel's entire being seemed to crave would want to hold his best friend and keep him warm, safe, and loved where Isa could not.

It was a candleflicker thought; blink-and-miss it, and Saix was returned to the present again with Axel still in his arms. He held his friend closer and thought of how to start the conversation. He had to be delicate and careful, otherwise he could lose Lea from his life entirely. Saix swallowed.

"Lea, you were talking about a boy. A little blonde boy..." He swallowed again, watching Axel perk up and stare at him with piercing emerald eyes, "Roxas. Roxas, the boy was Roxas. You..." He shook his head. "You were talking _to _him, Lea. You were...apologizing to him, almost, that you couldn't find him or save him...you were begging him not to go back to the darkness..." Saix shivered. This was the part he knew Lea might not want to believe. "...You begged him not to leave because you needed him. You told him you loved him, Lea. You told him you loved him more than there were stars in the sky. I _heard you, _Lea. Now tell me," he whispered, "who is this boy?"

Axel just stared at him with blank eyes; the normally vibrant emerald irises gave Saix nothing to read. Then Axel swallowed, the soft, sudden shushing noise startling Saix out of his worries.

"He's _mine." _Axel said fiercely. "And he's _beautiful. _And _no one _will take him away from me." He spat.

Saix held up his hands in a quick gesture of surrender. "Lea, please. I don't know he is, and I don't think you really do either! You need to _focus, _Lea! Who is the blonde boy? You have to say his name, Lea." He pleaded, shaking his friend's shoulders. "_He needs you." _

Axel's eyes blanked out and refocused in the quick blink of an eye, and he was suddenly staring at Saix again with confusion etched across his features.

"Who needs me, puppy?" He asked, voice soft and hoarse. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Saix just stared at him for a minute. He suddenly held his friend closer without warning, shaking his head.

"I'm scared, Lea." He murmured. Axel was quiet for a moment.

"I'm scared too, puppy." He whispered, holding his friend close. "I'm scared too."

* * *

The two of them let it pass; Axel couldn't even say or recognize Roxas' name, and Saix just wanted to spend time with his friend. He felt bad that he was disobeying his master's order to pry information from Lea, but he loved his friend, and seeing him suffer over trying to remember someone who might not even exist yet was killing him on the inside. Instead, the two of them spent a normal day together as friends.

They walked through the streets and bought useless little trinkets for Axel to throw up in the air and set on fire, the ashes skirting the breezes and the smoke curling up around them like a content cat. As the day waned and the air cooled, they began to use the fires for warmth, buying little spark-sticks and watching as the glimmering bolts lit up the sky around them. It was the first day they had really had out together as friends since the Organization had formed and Saix had found Xemnas, but neither of them said it was so. Axel held no grudge against Saix, (Xemnas was another story, however.)

After all, his puppy was his everything; they were best friends forever, and you never really stayed mad at your best friend. All he wanted was for them to be together...and he knew Isa wanted it now; Isa wouldn't lock himself in with the puppy-stealing motherfucker and leave him alone, nope. Not anymore. Best friends were always together.

Saix just held Axel's hand, unsure of what to tell his best friend. The berserker knew that things had changed, but he knew that deep in his heart, he didn't really care. To him, the world might have been with his master, but there were parts of him that only Lea knew and only Lea could understand. And it was enough.

The two of them enjoyed the entire day without mentioning Heartless or Nobodies or Kingdom Hearts even once, and perhaps, as a small token of pity, they could even forget the hollow pulsing of the hearts that no longer resided within them, and play as Lea, the steadfastly bratty nine year old, and his best friend forever, Isa, who was eternally loyal and would never leave. It was all they had, true, but it was all they needed.

And so they were happy. Thus the boy with the eyes like stars lurked in the darkest, deepest depths of Axel's soul, but the stars spoke no more.


	89. Christmas

(Let me be honest. This chapter has SEVERE mood whiplash, due in part to my lack of the medication that keeps me healthy and sane, plus the fact that I kinda had a bad Christmas. You know the drill; dysfunctional family, failtastic gifts, (MY PARENTS GOT ME ECLIPSE FOR CHRISSAKE), and just...Christmas was a slapdash shitty rush job in my house this year.

But I wanted this to be good. I wanted it to be happy, but to have an actual impact on the plot. I hope I did my best...^^

In good news, ASHDGHFD I HAVE A KITTEN

She's a sealpoint Siamese, and right now, she is hiding. Our house is very big and she is very scared. ^^; But she is unnamed as of now...any suggestions? Do speak up, or the poor thing will get named Noelle. Ugh.

Cid=Badass. Jftr. Also poor Vincent.

For the record, the reindeer are magic. You'll get that later on. But come on, with all the other crazy shit that happens in KH, is that REALLY so surprising?

I think anything I say about this chapter will spoil the impact I wanted it to have, so...yeah. Instead, here's a christmas fluff to you all~

First off, thank you. This has been one hell of a year, and I've been very lucky to have such amazing, constructive, and fun reviews. You are all amazing, and simply wonderful to have as friends and reviewers and what have you. This was the best thing to come out of my Christmas, so I hope that means that you can all enjoy it too. :) I am really, really lucky, and I hope that next year will be even better.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Don't own.

Dedicated to all of my readers, reviewers, editors, idea-helpers, and just generally everyone in my life. You are all amazing and I'm lucky to have you.)

* * *

Radiant Garden had always been spruced up and made into a holiday paradise every year around Christmas time, and the first year after the Organization arrived home was no exception. For the first time in ten years, everyone had pitched in and did their best to make the entire town beautiful. They all had their reasons, but the underlying one beneath all their motives was definitely for _her. _

Living in a miserable back-end swamp for most of her Somebody life, and then being dragged into the machinations of Organization XIII did not leave a little girl much time to think of Christmas. Senayax was utterly Christmas-illiterate, which initially, no one had noticed; they were too busy trying to rebuild Radiant Garden to keep track of the dates, and thus, no one had said anything.

At least, until Captain Cid Highwind came along.

Senayax was too young to help with the physical day-to-day work of refurbishing or rebuilding shops and houses entirely from scratch, so she was often left to read in the library or train with anyone who had time to exercise. As such, considering the vast amount of books that the Apprentices and Ansem had amassed, she was bound to happen upon a book of Christmas tales eventually.

It was December twenty-second, and finally, the original Hollow Bastion crew had some peace. The arrival of the Organization and the Knights had left them with a lot more free time on their hands; the multitude of people that had come back home were even more dedicated to seeing the place rebuilt than they had been, considering the Apprentices, Axel, and Saix had all lived here before, and Kairi had Riku and Sora wrapped around her pinky finger. So they got to rest.

Aerith was lounging on the couch in the living room with the radio on; the soft wail of violins and the thunderous reply of trumpets swirled throughout the room as she laid out flowers to dry and press. Tifa was beside her, alternately reading and napping. Yuffie was trying- and failing- to sit quietly, and had instead begun to aimlessly doodle on the papers she had set out in front of her. Cid and Vincent were in the kitchen, both of them working on the busted freezer box while Cloud and Leon finally finished their training and came inside to start with lunch. All of them were at peace and content in their mindless activities- at least, until Senayax walked in, carrying a picture book in her hands.

"Hello?" She asked, holding up the book in her hands. "I have a question about this, an' I dunno where Zexion is...does anyone know 'bout..." She chewed her lip in thought and flipped through the pages before coming to a stop on a two-page illustrated spread. She pointed to the middle of the picture and finished, "That guy? 'Cause I've never heard 'bout him before, an'..." She trailed off.

Cid took the book from her hands and stared at the illustration in amazement. He shook his head, unsure of what to say. Since he was at a loss for words, he switched to default, and decided on cursing a blue streak.

"Shi', kid, dinnit anyone ever tell yeh who th' fuck Santa Claus was? Where th' fuck did yeh live? Under a fucken' rock?" He asked incredulously. Senayax shrugged.

"Kinda?" She offered. "But no...no one did. Is it a big deal?" She asked timidly, unsure if her question was going to spark another one of the captain's blue-shaded outbursts. Cid snorted with disgust, stubbing out his cigarette and crumbling it in his hands.

"Hell yeah it is! This is fucken Santa Claus we're talkin' about! Yanno, presents an' candy an' talkin' reindeer an' shit." He said. Vincent rolled his eyes as he undid the last of the wires in the freezer box.

"Peace on earth and goodwill towards men to you too, chief." He retorted, shutting the freezer door and stretching out. Cid snorted.

"Yeah, fuck you too, Vin. Yer a Turk, an' yer givin' me crap about that? Puh-lease." He grumbled. "That's not the spirit of Christmas. The spirit of Christmas is-" Senayax held up a hand, wrinkling her nose in thought.

"Christmas? What's Christmas, an' why does it need talkin' reindeer?" She asked.

Cid dropped his cigarette; Vincent hurriedly put it out as the pilot began to spit curses out like bullets, waving his arms around and making grandiose gestures as Senayax just watched him in confusion.

"Are yeh fucken kiddin' me? Yer fucken shittin' me, kiddo! None of those goddam bastards ever pulled yeh aside and tol' you what th' fuck Christmas was? Fucken Xeh's getting a piece'a my mind when he drags his sorry ass home, I kin tell yeh tha'- fucking _Christmas _an' this kid doesn't know, fucken reprobate he is, I oughta -" Vincent cut off Cid's heavy stream of curse words with a soft sigh, clamping his good hand over his lover's mouth as he beckoned to Senayax.

"Christmas is a holiday, Senayax. It's something special, like a birthday or an anniversary, that's all. There are a lot of different ways to celebrate it, but it's usually a big deal, which is why the chief is so...incensed right now." He finished. Cid howled with rage.

"Fucken big deal? Yer callin' _Christmas _a big fucken deal? Christmas innit just a big fucken deal, it's the reason that we got the sorry-ass season a'winter in th' first place! If keeps little kid's asses in line, yeh get candy and presents and possibly get laid if yer legal-" Vincent had the decency to blush as Cid continued, "-an' yer whole family _has _t'like each other fer a day, otherwise Santa shoves coal down their fucken stocking. I tell yeh, Christmas is the best thing that humans ever thoughta, an' I'm puttin' it above sex, chocolate, an' fucken airships, here." He finished. Senayax tilted her head and sighed.

"So who's Santa, then?" She asked. Vincent opened his mouth, hoping that he could tell her the cleaner, nicer version of Santa Claus before his lover beat him to it. Unfortunately, Cid was on a roll, and heaven help anyone who got in his way...

"Santa Claus is the one who keeps yer asses in line during December! He's the big man up north; yanno, making toys with his hideously deformed little freaks of nature an' shit. He decides whether or not yeh've been naughty or nice, religion be _damned. _Yeh want presents from the fat man, yeh're looking at a whole month of kissin' babies an' feedin' homeless puppies wit' cancer and sendin' the ingrates off to college. Specially with this crowd." He muttered. "Shit, even if we did all'a that, we'd be lucky t'get fucken candy, nevermin' the hovercars an' shit I used to ask for." He sighed, inhaling a steady stream of smoke from his cigarette as Vincent put his head in his hands.

"So...he's like a wizard or somethin'?" Senayax asked. Cid nodded.

"Yeah. Like one'a those fucken wizards that run around and give ponies to hobbits an' shit. He's fucken magic, is what I'm sayin'. Gawd, I can't believe none of those fucken bastards sat yeh down and _explained _this shit! What, were they too busy destroyin' worlds an' ruinin' lives to give a fuck if some little girl got a fucken Christmas?" He snapped.

"Yes." Vincent retorted. Cid glared at him.

"I didn't ask yeh, Vin. Th' point remains, kiddo, is that we gotta get a Christmas goin' around here ASAP. Now, have yeh been good this year or what?" He asked. Senayax tilted her head again and sunk deep into thought.

"I guess so?" She said. "I mean, good enough to get candy and presents an' a talkin' reindeer." She finished. Cid nodded.

"Good enough, kiddo. Now, we need to get those fucken reprobates yeh got trapped with in tha' hellhole of a castle and tear 'em a new asshole. Not fucken givin' a kid a fucken' Christmas, I don't _believe..." _Cid stormed off, muttering angrily to himself as Vincent sighed.

"Senayax, I think we may have bitten off more than we can chew on this one." He murmured. "Considering how fond the chief is of Christmas..." He sighed. "Are you sure you can handle this?" He asked. Senayax nodded as a smile lit up her features.

"Of course, silly!" She said. "This is gonna be so much fun! I gotta go start askin' everyone to get ready, an' what to do..." She trailed off. "Can you try to find some talkin' reindeer? I'll leave the book with you for help." Vincent tried to protest, but she threw her arms around him and kissed his cheek. "Thanks Vincent, see you later!" She called back, bolting out the door before Vincent could find the right words to tell her that there was no way in hell he was going to find talking reindeer in Hollow Bastion. He sighed.

Oh yes. Combining the forces of Cid and Senayax was a bad, bad idea...he really had bitten off more than he could chew. His lips twitched in a faint smile as he stood up and headed out into the living room to break the news to the others. Even if he was going to suffer, at least watching his lover tear the Organization a new one was going to be...interesting.

As he walked into the living room to break the news, he idly wondered if any of the old bunkers from when Even was an Apprentice had survived.

* * *

The Organization had spent the entire day split into two groups; the neophytes, led by Axel and Saix, (who knew the town even better than the Apprentices, having spent years hiding in nooks and crannies to escape the wrath of angry citizens or shopkeepers), had begun working on the town square, while the Apprentices went right for the castle and threw themselves heart and soul into rebuilding. But no matter where they had worked, they were hot, exhausted, and in desperate need of a nice dinner.

They were not getting any of that. What they_ did _get was Captain Cid Highwind standing in front of them at the threshold of the house with a cigarette clenched between his teeth and an expression that could stop a T-Rex dead in its tracks written across his face.

"C'mon in." He said, voice forcedly cheerful. "Sit. We've got some talkin' t'do."

Against everyone's better judgement, they sat down at the table as Cid stood in front of them. He made his way around everyone, giving them vicious glares all the while, (which only Larxene had the courage to return), before stopping in front of Xemnas.

Cid lit a new cigarette and didn't say a word, simply watching Xemnas as he inhaled the first hesitant streams of smoke.

"So." He said. "Yeh remember Christmas, don'cha?" He asked. Xemnas gave him an odd look.

"Yes." He said slowly, raising an eyebrow. "What does that have to do with anything?" He asked. Cid snorted in disgust.

"_She _doesn't." He replied.

He had to admit he was pleased by Xemnas' immediate look of horror and regret, and the flash of shock and guilt that passed over everyone else's face. He snickered, inhaling a gust of smoke as he pointed accusingly at Xemnas.

"Yeah, yeh heard me. Poor kid didn't know who fuckin' Santa Claus was, yeh fucken reprobate. We're not stupid, an' we know the shit you pulled with her, an' I'm fucken tellin' yeh now, if you don't give this kid the Christmas she fucken deserves, I will _personally _bring down the wrath of the entire fucken Lifestream on yeh. Yeh give her what she deserves- a nice fucken Christmas with presents an' Santa an' cake an' a loving family - or I will fucken end yeh." He snarled. Xemnas didn't say a word, but even under his bronze skin he had paled from the pilot's rage. In the corner, Vincent bit his knuckle to hide giggles of hysteria as Cid put out his cigarette and gestured around the table with the ashen stump between his fingers.

"All ri'gh then, hop to it. S'December twenty-second, an' I expect nothin' less than the best. We'll handle reconstruction an' shit; you guys just give her a fucken Christmas. Dig?" He asked. Everyone nodded. Cid grinned. "Good. Now scram and get to work." He said, turning on his heel and taking Vincent by the hand as he left the kitchen with thirteen stunned former Nobodies left in his wake.

It was too late to start much of anything, certainly, but the guilt that all of them felt, like a razor weight on their backs, hung in the air as dinnertime came and went. Senayax sat in between Cid and Vincent that night, and despite the longing glances Zexion sent her way, Cid shifted each time, his body language clearly telling them to back off. Senayax, happily unaware, continued to eat dinner and sneak Sunny Jim crumbs from under the table as he napped at her feet.

After dinner, the second that Cid got up and left Senayax open, Zexion went to pounce- only to have Xemnas pull him back. He turned around with a hurt whimper, feeling distraught at being denied his lover. Xemnas sighed, kissing the top of his head. "I know, Ienzo. Sorry, but we've got to start planning. The crew will take good care of her; Cid promised. Come." He said. Zexion sighed heavily and bit his lip before following after Xemnas and the others, thoughts already whirring into gear on how to give his precious Yaya the Christmas she deserved.

* * *

Senayax wasn't sure why Cid had told her daddy and Zexion to go back to work after dinner, but she was warm and sleepy and there was a fire in the living-room's fireplace, so she didn't question much as she snuggled with Sunny Jim on the couch. She closed her eyes, the flickering warmth staying light behind her eyelids as her breathing became slower and softer.

About an hour later, Vincent came down to get a spare wrench for Cid, (who was working on the Tiny Bronco in an attempt to salvage it for display, if nothing else), and found her on the couch. A single ebony eyebrow quirked, and he sighed with amusement. Undoing the buckles and clasps on his cape, he laid it out on her prone, sleeping form, and headed back upstairs, trying and failing to fight down a smile.

Xigbar sighed, leaning back in his chair and downing his shot of whiskey. "So, what do you actually think we can get done, Xeh? I mean, shit, we've got like two days to pull it off, and that's only if we don't count a Christmas Eve celebration." He muttered. "Fuckin' Highwind. Like he's gonna get off his ass and do anything..." He grumbled.

Xemnas was quiet, his eyes closed as he tried to block out what Cid had said.

_They know what we did...no. No, not what we did...what _I _did..._

He swallowed, biting back tears. Having a heart had given him a means with which to reflect on the actions he had taken as a Nobody, and while he understood that it had to be done, he knew full well that he should have tried harder; that he should not have failed his little girl and ruined her. It had only been a few months...but he couldn't help but feel each time like he had broken something precious and beautiful. He shivered.

"We owe her the world. Cid was right." He whispered. "She was ours to take care of and raise and nurture; she was our responsibility, and as far as I'm concerned, she still is. We- I -well..." He looked down at his hands and clenched them into fists. "I screwed up. I ruined her life. I...I owe her this. Do what you will; all I know is that I have to give her something worth all the suffering I put her through, and for that, I'll have to go it alone." He murmured. "So plan and go ahead. I'll think of something on my own." He promised. "She'll get the best Christmas I can give, I swear it to you." He said, standing up and leaving the room without another word.

Everyone stared at where he had been in shock, unsure of what to say. They knew that the pain that Xemnas had been feeling ever since he had received his heart had been bubbling up underneath the surface for months, but it seemed that the dam had broken in the Superior. Xigbar was the first to speak.

"Well, you heard the man." He whispered, voice hoarse as he hugged Zexion tight and ruffled his hair, discreetly wiping away a few stray tears for his brother, "let's get cracking."

The twelve remaining members of the Organization set about to planning without another word.

* * *

The night waned, and finally, they admitted defeat and went to bed. They had a few scant ideas, but they were only the basics; a Christmas tree and cookies, perhaps, but it was nothing spectacular...at least, not yet. Despite the fact that it had opened a still-healing sore on their souls, Cid's words had lit a fire underneath them, and they were determined to give Senayax what she deserved.

Zexion sighed, shivering as he hugged the warm flannel around his pajamas closer to himself. He was tired, but he couldn't smell Yaya in their bed; he had to find her in the house, wherever she was. He headed down the stairs and past the kitchen, following her unique scent into the living room as he looked down on her sleeping form and fought down a howl of fury.

He had accepted the Hollow Bastion crew initially, considering how easily his lover had become accepted by them, despite the fact that she was still broken and desperate for affection, and as such, hard to deal with...but this was too much. This was a claim, and it _pissed him off. _

He threw Vincent's cape aside and picked Senayax up, burying his face into her neck and inhaling her scent, drinking it in to soothe the possessive rage in him. He wanted to find the Turk and scream some sense into him; he wanted to remind everyone that _she was theirs, _and even though they had screwed up, they had _no right _to _take her away. _

He cradled her close, stroking her hair gently and bringing her up to bed with him. As he laid her down in bed beside him and held her close, he closed his eyes and sighed with delight.

"No one will take you away from me, Senayax." He promised, with a soft exhale of breath as her only response, "and you can stay here with me...we'll rebuild this place. We'll make it our home...together. Promise." He whispered, hugging her tightly as he fell asleep with her in his arms.

* * *

The next morning, Xemnas was nowhere to be found. The others all gave each other odd looks but shrugged it off, watching the rest of the Hollow Bastion crew set off to rebuild for the day. Senayax had tagged along, which, on an intellectual level, they understood; however, on an emotional level? No one in the Organization was happy as they sat down and planned.

"We need a Santa." Xaldin said, pointing towards the illustration on the book cover they had laid out in front of them. "We need someone jolly and good-hearted to hand out presents. It would make her smile, certainly..." He trailed off. "However, I doubt there's any of us who could pull off "jolly" and "good-hearted" trapped in a red suit." He added. Luxord snorted, shuffling his deck and kissing his lover's cheek.

"Right you are, but someone's going to have to pay the piper and bite the bullet, hmm? Question is who's going to do it." He said. Xaldin shrugged haplessly. Xigbar chewed his lip, deep in thought.

"All right. Well, what if we split up again? We're all going to need gifts, so half of us can go start buying out the shops, and the rest of us can divide our duties between baking and decorating." He sighed. "Didi, you can cook; you're in charge of that, so pick whoever you want to help you. I'll try to figure out who the hell gets to be Santa, and we'll send the rest of the boys with Larxene on a shopping trip." He finished. Luxord shrugged.

"Sounds okay to me." He replied. "After all, what could possibly go-"

"Don't even finish that sentence." Xigbar said. Luxord just smirked.

So it was settled; Xigbar had made Vexen stay home with him to help narrow down the people they could force into playing Santa, while Xaldin had asked Lexaeus, Axel, Roxas, and Demyx to stay home and help him bake. Marluxia, Zexion, Luxord, and Saix had all been dragged along shopping by Larxene. (While it was granted that most of her entourage were homosexual, it didn't change the fact that none of them, save Marluxia, knew how to shop...)

However, despite the flagrant obstacle in their way, they buckled down and set to the task. (It helped that Larxene was certainly enjoying the prospect of torturing the fresh meat.)

Xigbar sighed, chewing on the end of his pen as he looked down at his notes. "So, we have absolutely zero ideas. Any hypotheses up in that brain of yours, Even?" He asked. Vexen rolled his eyes.

"How about _the actual Santa_?" He offered. "Which is, if I may remind you, Braig, what I suggested an hour ago!" He snapped. Xigbar shrugged.

"Eh, details. Anyways, we can't; he'll be out delivering presents and stuff, remember? We gotta fake this shit." He replied. Vexen sighed.

"I suppose. Now, physical characteristics are important; after all, there's only so much a wig and suit can cover. Who do we know who fits the bill?" He offered. Xigbar chewed his pen again, idly tapping the tip against the paper.

"Lexaeus?" He offered. Vexen raised an eyebrow.

"Not if you want to stay free of knife wounds, I wouldn't." He replied. Xigbar groaned.

"Right, fuck. Didi?" He asked. Vexen snorted.

"Do you just _like _to torture him?" He fired back. Xigbar said nothing. Vexen rolled his eyes. "Anyways, we can't; his sideburns are too recognizable. It would ruin the effect, considering that Senayax isn't really an idiot." He muttered. Xigbar groaned.

"You're killin' me, here. Come on, there's got to be someone! You know, tall and imposing jolly guy who looks good in red? We've got to have one of those lying around!" He snapped. Vexen snorted, stifling a laugh.

"Vincent?" He offered. Xigbar's jaw dropped.

"Aside from the fact that he is, quite possibly, the _least _jolly person I have ever met in my thirty-odd years of life, there is the tiny little fact that he has a _golden claw _for an arm, and has about _four demons shacking up in his self-consciousness!_ Vincent is not only _not_ going to be our Santa Claus, but I don't even know if Vincent could get within ten feet of him without making Santa one hell of an emotional wreck! What the hell possessed you to think of Vincent?" He roared. Vexen shrugged.

"He wears a red cape, does he not? Anyways, we're running out of ideas. Perhaps Cid? We could pay him back for making us do this in the first place." He grumbled. Xigbar shook his head, but the thought of the blonde pilot sparked an epiphany in him. He dropped his pen and grinned.

"I don't think the foul-mouthed amongst us are good Santa figures...but there's another blonde I'm thinking of. Looks good in red, deep, imposing voice, has a tendency to let little girls wrap him around their pinkie fingers..." He trailed off as Vexen raised an eyebrow. Xigbar's grin grew wider. "Oh come now, Even, you know him. You've heard him sing in the shower, haven't you?" He offered.

Vexen dropped his coffee.

"You're joking." He said. "You're honestly joking."

Xigbar shook his head. "No, I'm not." He purred. "Do you still happen to have..." He whispered something into Vexen's ear; whatever it was, it made the scientist's cheeks flare crimson as he looked away and grumbled.

"So it's on?" Xigbar asked, leaning back in his chair. Vexen sighed, standing up and heading for his files.

"Indeed." He muttered. "Don't blame me if he puts you in a glass jar and experiments on you for the rest of your life, however, Braig." He shot back.

Xigbar was too busy laughing to care.

* * *

Ansem stifled a yawn with the back of his hand as he helped Sora and Vincent move some of the debris away from the castle. He had gotten at least some sleep last night, but he had been too focused on working to sleep very long, and it was wearing him out. With a small sigh, he stood up and stretched, flexing his back. He didn't like the way his bones had begun to creak, but there was nothing he could do...

"Teacher?" The voice made him jump; even after these few months, Ansem was still adjusting to being called by his title again...and, as he noted, not yet one of them had called him father. He understood the awkwardness and the pain, but he didn't know how to reach out to his sons anymore either, and it worried him.

Vexen stood in front of him with a familiar smile on his face. As much as it lightened Ansem's feelings, he felt his stomach sinking into the pits of his feet. He knew that smile. Familiarity was good, but he wasn't sure if he was ever really ready for the the familiarity of "I've just created a world-destroying death ray that operates on the tears of unicorns, can you help me plug it in?"

He sighed. "Yes, Even?" He asked. Vexen shuffled a few papers in his hands as his smile grew wider.

"Well, teacher, it has been brought to my attention by Braig, no less, that we are in desperate need of a Santa Claus for the young children. Namely, Senayax, who has never had a Christmas in her hell-hole suffering pit of a life. Seeing as you have such a strong, loving heart, we perhaps hoped-"

"Absolutely not, Even." Ansem said, cutting him off mid-sentence. "I have my dignity."

Vexen shrugged. "Well, that's too bad. I would rather not plaster these..._scintillating _photographs around town, but perhaps you were hoping that you could bring people back if you showed them your _wild side, _teacher?" He purred, displaying the papers in his hands to Ansem.

It was like ten years had not passed, and his boys had never left. Ansem felt his mind and body going back into its defensive mode, and he could only groan, knowing when he had been beat.

"Where did you get those?" He asked, almost entirely sure he would not receive an answer. Indeed, all Vexen gave him in response was a small smirk. Ansem groaned.

"At least let me know who I have to stuff in a glass jar, Even!" He begged. Sora dropped his Keyblade and stared. Vexen shrugged.

"Who do you think?" He replied. Ansem groaned louder.

"Damn that boy. I knew he would be trouble, but _no..." _He grumbled, sighing in defeat. "All right. You shall have your Santa. Now go finish preparing and leave me and the shattered remains of my dignity in peace." He muttered.

Vexen just hugged him, the gesture stunning them both. He made to pull away once he realized what he had done, but Ansem brought him back into his arms. He was only a few scant inches taller than his Even, and he couldn't help but smile.

Vexen pulled away after a minute. The two of them met face to face, and for a second, just before Vexen left, Ansem would have sworn he mouthed the word, "_Father_."

* * *

Xemnas sighed, staring out at the expanse of Hollow Bastion as he tried not to cry. He couldn't help it; all he had left was the broken, crippled shell of a bird in his hands, and he hadn't even the slightest idea of where to begin fixing things. He wanted nothing but the best for his little girl, and all he had left to give her was what - a hollow, false leader, a failed father? What child would want a father like him?

He snarled. How on earth did the pilot actually expect him to _fix things? _After all that he had done, there was no hope for forgiveness; he had no chance at redemption. If he could just move forward, perhaps things would be better, but even then...

"D-daddy?"

The soft voice startled him out of his thoughts. Xemnas turned around to face Senayax, who had come to stand on the edge of the lapis lazuli cliffs with him. She gave him a weak smile and clutched Ienzo to her chest. Xemnas didn't know what to say to her. Thankfully, she spoke enough to fill the void.

"I jus' wanted to make sure you were okay...I could see you up here from where I was helpin' Cid. I...I got worried." She offered. Xemnas nodded. She waited for a response, but when none came, she continued on. "He keeps telling me about Christmas, yanno. Like, what it is an' stuff. S'funny..." She chewed her lip thoughtfully. "He says that it's 'bout being with the people you love and keepin' them all together an' happy, an' sharing your happiness...and everyone keeps talking about Christmas like I've never had one." She managed a smile. "That's silly. If that's what Christmas is, then every day I've lived here is Christmas." She explained.

Xemnas opened his mouth to speak, but every word he tried to say froze on his lips and got stuck in his throat. She hugged him hesitantly, unsure of her welcome. To both her surprise and his, he threw his arms around her and hugged her tight, kissing the top of her head and bringing her close.

"I love you." He murmured, knowing that this time, he really and truly meant it. "And you deserve so much better than what only I can give." He promised. "I...I..." He sighed, looking away and blinking back tears.

"You think you failed me." Senayax said. It wasn't a question, but Xemnas nodded anyway. She sighed.

"I could have said no. I coulda refused, or let Hollowmoon eat it, or kilt it in me. I knew I had that power. An' I knew you woulda understood an' forgiven me." Her gaze sharpened as she stared out over the expanse of Hollow Bastion. "But I knew it had to be done too. I didn't believe in Kingdom Hearts, but I believed in _you. _An' I knew if you were there t'help...you could save me. An' I would be all right. Because you're my _daddy. _An' you protect me. An' you _did. _So I en't angry. I know I can't change anything. I know that what we did...what you did an' what I did...it had to end that way. An' if I understand that, I can make my peace. So should you." She murmured. "Because in the end, all that matters is that we all lived to be a real family. We're all safe an' we got our hearts." She closed her eyes and bit her lip in a vain attempt to stop the tears from trailing down her cheeks. "An' if I hadda, I'd go through that a hundred million times just to have this." She looked up at him. "I'd do anything for a home like this. I _did _everything for a home like this." She confessed.

Xemnas just held her tighter.

"Yaya..." He murmured. "I don't care about what you think you had to do. There are some things little girls should never do, and I forced you into it. I...I put hearts before what I had right in front of me. It was my mistake. And you suffered for it." He whispered, self-hatred making it almost hard for him to breathe. Senayax shook her head.

"We all suffered." She agreed. "But I think...it's time to stop suffering. If we have the strength to do it." She added. Xemnas looked at her, unsure of what to say. Senayax shrugged before turning back to head down the cliffs.

"Your father would agree with me." She said.

Her parting words dispensed, she left Xemnas alone on the cliff. He watched her go before turning back to the skyline to see the castle, rising up like a bird into the heavens. Ideas whirred in his head, but the only thing that really mattered to him at that moment was the warmth in his chest, almost like the flickering of a candle.

* * *

Zexion sighed, sitting on the balcony of the castle and looking up at the falling sun. He was tired. Tired of staying here and feeling like a stranger, and tired of watching everyone else try to steal his lover from him. He knew they meant well, but...they hadn't been there for her when she had suffered. It was easy for them to condemn them for their sins in the aftermath, when the smoking gun was clearly in their hands, but they hadn't been there. They hadn't seen her shivering and shuddering in agony with every single breath she took. They hadn't seen her pained face with every weak smile of assurance. They hadn't slept in her bed and cradled her close, praying that the body they were holding would still be warm the next morning. They were _trespassers. _

He shook his head, tucking a few strands of hair behind his ear. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to go back down to the house and go see her, but he didn't know if he could bear to walk into the kitchen and see her being passed around between them like she was a trinket or an amusement. She was _his. _

His lip curled into a snarl. All right. Enough was enough. He would simply just have to go home and remind the interlopers of what they should have already known.

The laugh that issued from his lips as he left the castle and started down the path to home was dead and dark, and rang hopelessly in his ears.

Senayax yawned, looking around the table. Everyone except Zexion was home, and it was starting to make her heart hurt. She was not a stupid girl, and she knew her family well enough to sense the trouble brewing at the table. She wanted Zexion to come home and kiss the tears away, but she didn't know who to ask about where he was. She closed her eyes and sighed.

"I'mma head up to th' library now, mmkay? Please tell Zexion where I be." She said, pushing her chair back from the table before leaving the kitchen and climbing the stairs. Sora opened his mouth as if to protest, but Xemnas shook his head.

"Let her go." He said quietly. "I would rather that she was not here for the next discussion." He turned to Sora, Riku, Kairi, and Namine, and his gaze sharpened. "That goes for you four. Go up to the library with her or to your rooms, but right now, this isn't a talk for you." He murmured. Sora's eyes narrowed, and he stood up to face down Xemnas. The older man still had a few inches on Sora, but the Keyblade Knight had grown enough that he was still an imposing presence. Xemnas stared right back, and the two faced each other down like angry cats about to strike.

The door opened with a sudden rush of air, and closed with a soft snap. Zexion coughed softly, straightening his jacket and breezing over to the table, sitting down and folding his hands together as his eyes burned with a ferocious sort of fury that made even his brothers wince.

"Out." He said.

The children did not argue. All four of them headed up to their rooms, knowing that the kitchen had officially become a war zone they wanted no part of.

Zexion laughed. It was a soft, bitter, and venomous laugh, filled with hate and fury that only a real heart's fury could bring. He surveyed the Hollow Bastion crew carefully before settling into his seat.

"I'm not very happy." He said quietly. "I'm sure that's rather obvious. However, what you may not know is that you are the cause of this...issue...and, frankly, I figure that having a discussion is about the only thing I can do that would leave me without resorting to violence." He folded his arms and leaned on his palms, giving them all a razor-wire gaze. "So." He murmured. "Let me begin."

He inhaled softly. "It's very easy for you to condemn us. And I know you do. I have seen the looks that you give me if I chance to hold her hand, let alone kiss her. I understand what I did. I know the consequences of my actions. But _you do not. _No matter _what _you may tell me, you were not there to _watch her suffer. _You did not hold her hand when she wept with exhaustion and pain after an hour of injections and examinations. You were not the family that held her when she cried. You did not try to help her or save her when she was _dying. _And you were not the family who read her stories at night; you were not the family that did their damned best to keep her safe and happy and god damned _alive." _He didn't bother wiping away the tears that had trailed down his cheeks as he spoke.

"You condemn us now for our mistakes, but none of you lifted a goddamn finger to save her. We took care of her. And then you come into her life and act like you were always there for her and that we were the bad guys, when the truth is that we were just as scared and lost as she was." His eyes narrowed. "So I am telling you right now; you are not her family. You are not my concern. But if you continue to condemn us and attempt to take her away, I will _snap." _He whispered. "And there will _not _be mercy. For any of you." He finished.

Cid snarled, stubbing out his cigarette and standing up, slamming his hands down on the table.

"Who th' fuck d'yeh think yeh are, kid?" He snarled. "I don't fucken believe this shit! After all yeh bastards did to that poor fucken kid, you expect us t'jes siddown and fucken watch as you try to convince tha' poor kid that everythin's gonna be all righ' now, jes because yeh can't own up to fucken _raping her-" _

_"Do not tell me what I did!" _Zexion screamed. His voice rang out throughout the kitchen as he faced Cid down. "_I know what I did! I know what happened! I know how it hurt her! I kept her _SAFE! I kept her _STRONG! _Don't you _dare _condemn me! Don't you dare drag us down! I _love her! _She is _my lover, _and if you actually think you can take her away from me, you can just _think again_-"

"Zexion?"

The soft interruption startled both the schemer and the pilot out of their argument. Senayax stood in the kitchen doorway with Ienzo in her hands. Her eyes were wide and shining with barely-held back tears as she looked around the room.

"I...I thought it was you." She whispered. "Thought I heard you came in."

Tears began to drip down her cheeks as she watched them all, never dropping her gaze.

"You know what I want for Christmas?" She asked. "I want a happy family. I want everyone to stop hurting an' love each other again."

She turned on her heel and fled a second later, leaving them all behind to stare at the doorway where she had been.

* * *

The night was quiet. Everyone had gone to bed soon afterward, unsure of what to say to one another. The kids had been shooed off to sleep, and in an attempt to keep at least a few people from suffering, no one had said a word to them about the argument.

Zexion stood in front of his door, unsure of what to do. He wanted to go in, he really did, but the fear of being rejected was a very real ache in his chest. He swallowed, summoning up all his courage and knocking on the door.

"Come in." Senayax called back, her voice softened and muffled by the doorway. He opened the door and obeyed, stepping inside only to see her curled up in a tiny ball of misery on the bed. He undressed as he headed across the room, tossing his jacket and pants aside before climbing into bed beside her and holding her tight. To his great relief, she did not resist his touch; instead, she snuggled into his embrace even tighter. He sighed with relief and held her tight.

"I want to make you happy." He whispered. "You are my life, Senayax. I promise...I..." She shook her head and cut him off.

"No." She whispered. "No, you can't promise. 'Cause you don't control everyone else, an' no one else wants t'be happy. I don't...I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say t'make everyone see that I'm all right! I...I lived. I got my heart back. I got you. I got daddy, an' I got Sora, an' Squall, an' everyone else! I'm _happy!" _She stifled a sob. "But no one else seems t'be. And that hurts, Zexion. It hurts a whole lot." She confessed. Zexion nodded.

"I know." He whispered. "I know. It'll be all right. It'll all be okay. I promise." He murmured. "We'll fix things." He kissed the top of her head. "Get some rest, okay? I'll see what I can do in the morning." He promised. She nodded and smiled, closing her eyes and holding him close as he stroked her hair and kissed her gently until she fell asleep in his embrace.

The next few days were a sort of quiet consensus amongst them all. She would not suffer. She would be happy. And if that meant that they had to get over themselves and do it for her, they would. If she could smile through her pain, then so would they.

Cid bit back a hiss of annoyance as he pushed the lights up on the house. The twinkling strands blinked on and off erratically as he hammered them up onto the gutters. Vincent sighed, holding the ladder steady as his lover swore a blue streak. "Fucken things won't work! Vin! Get the damn lightbulbs!" He roared. Vincent shook his head.

"If I let go of this ladder, you're probably going to fall. Just hold on for a second, chief..." He murmured.

Larxene opened the door to the porch and headed outside. Without a word to either of them, she grabbed the wire and sent a spark up along the cable, lighting up the entire garland of lights. The two of them stared at her in shock as she settled for a small shrug, turning around and heading back into the house with a small smile.

With only two days left, and just one more day until Christmas Eve, the house had almost gone under an instantaneous transformation. The whole inside of the house glimmered and sparkled with lights; Marluxia and Aerith had put up poinsettias and strung wreaths across every door. Tifa had helped Lexaeus bring home a tree large enough that it took up a sizable chunk of the massive living room, (enough so that the presents for all of them could comfortably fit under the tree's boughs with room to spare), and Vexen had actually made it snow.

The pale white blanket that now smothered Hollow Bastion was probably the best thing for all of them; it kept Senayax out from under their feet as they prepared Ansem for the role of Santa, stuffing her presents into the giant burlap bag as he muttered profanities against all the gods and devils that he could name, (and _especially _Xigbar.)

Snowmen, snow Heartless, and snow angels dotted the landscape beside the house, and there was always a pot of hot chocolate on the stove.

Candy canes littered the kitchen counters, and there were constantly sticky fingerprints from the debris, (from Yuffie and Senayax both; the Wutainese princess was not a very neat eater.) The house smelled like holly, cinnamon, and fresh, clean snow, and for a time, it actually did seem like Christmas.

The fireplace was flickering and sending out warm, cheerful waves of heat and light that night as Zexion sipped hot chocolate in front of the fireplace. He stifled a yawn, looking at the clock. It was almost midnight, and he knew he should probably go up to bed and comfort Senayax; it was Christmas eve tomorrow, and he should be with his lover. But something told him to stay, (intuition, perhaps?), and so he did, sitting in front of the fire and waiting.

"Hey." The surprisingly soft voice of Cid Highwind made him jump as he turned around to see the pilot standing in the doorway. "Can we talk?" He asked. Zexion nodded, beckoning for him to sit. The blond sat down with a grateful sigh, lighting a cigarette before he saw Zexion wrinkle his nose in disgust. He snorted. "Righ', sorry. I ferget yeh've got that odd little bloodhound nose, kiddo." He said, stubbing it out. Zexion nodded gratefully as Cid sighed, leaning against the pillows.

"Look...what I said about yeh raping her was outta line. I know yeh didn't do it on purpose, an' I know if there had been any other way..." He said, trailing off for a moment before asking the question that hung in the air. "An' as far as I know, yeh haven't had sex since?" He asked. Zexion shook his head.

"She isn't ready." He murmured. "And frankly, neither am I." He whispered. Cid nodded.

"An' not a soul in the world would fucken blame either a'yeh. Listen, kiddo," he said, leaning forward on his knees, "the two of you went through more hell in four months than most couples go through inna lifetime. An' I guess I can respect that. Lovin' Vin innit easy either, sometimes, an' I shoulda understood more'n anyone. But..." He sighed.

"We know we weren't there. An' we know what yeh did. And we know yeh tried t'make up for it. An' believe me, we know yeh love her." He shrugged. "But we love her too. An' shuttin' us out is gonna hurt her. Hate us all yeh like; I know we stood on the sidelines while she suffered, an' I'm sure that hurts yeh, considering you guys were on the front lines an' all, but the truth of the matter is that she still loves us. An' if you love her, you have to at least let us prove ourselves, here. She just wants a happy family. An' if there's really nothin' yeh wouldn't do fer her, then forgiveness- for both you an' us both- should be yer first goddam step." He finished. Zexion was quiet for a minute, considering his words.

He nodded suddenly, inclining his head to the pilot. "I suppose you're correct." He murmured. "Thank you, captain." He gave him a small smile. "I ought to retire. She needs me. We shall both see you in the morning." He turned and left the room, leaving Cid behind to stare at the flickering light of the fireplace. The pilot couldn't help but smile as he lit his cigarette up, the cheerful warmth serving as a gentle comfort to his own heart.

* * *

Senayax spent the entirety of Christmas Eve as a cheerful little ball of energy, bounding around the house and leaping about until, finally, Xigbar had the good sense to toss her and the rest of the children outside with Demyx. If anything, the ensuing snowball fights that left the front of the house spattered in white, and the windows nigh-on useless for the snow clinging to them, made things worse; however, everyone was just grateful that they didn't have to listen to a sitar-accompanied version of "Jingle Bells" for the eightieth time. Sometimes, sacrifices just had to be made.

The whole house was lit up so brightly that even as the sun set and Tifa called the kids inside, the light was enough that they could easily make their way to the door, (grumbling all the while, however; they had been in the middle of a snow fort, and their progress being brought to a screeching halt was not fun.)

Dinner was a quick affair; the true feast was going to be saved for Christmas, and as such, all of the food had been tucked away for the dinner then. Presents were wrapped and tucked under the tree, everyone was in a good mood, and Sunny Jim was only gently gnawing on Zexion's leg. Senayax sighed, content and cheerful as she snuggled up against Zexion with a cup of hot chocolate in her hands.

Xigbar and Vexen both checked the clock, sharing a quick glance with each other. It was almost eight, and they had told Ansem to be there at seven forty-five; where the hell was he?

"Do you think we'll actually have to put the pictures up?" Xigbar whispered. Vexen rolled his eyes.

"Even if we do, you're on your own with that one, Braig. I've had enough of teacher's wrath for a life time, thank you." He grumbled. Xigbar snorted, ruffling his hair as Vexen groaned and pushed him off. "If you go on the naughty list, it's all your fault, you imbecile." He teased. Xigbar just laughed.

The clock ticked by, and finally, at eight thirty, Xigbar stretched and stood up. "Eh, guess I'll have to bust out the photocopies. S'a shame, really. Considering those pictures aren't safe for goddamn humanity, I hate to do it to the general public, but hey, a deal's a deal..."

He went to open the door, only to be greeted by the soft whicker of animals and a booming, "_HO, HO, HO!" _

Senayax's head shot up so fast Zexion momentarily worried she had gotten whiplash. She leapt off the couch and bolted hell-bent for the door, screaming at the top of her lungs, "SANTA'S HERE! SANTA'S HERE! _SANTA'S HERE!" _

Outside, in front of the house, stood a massive ornate crimson sleigh, patterned with holly leaves and inlaid with gold leaf. Nine reindeer pulled at their bridles impatiently as a giant sack sat in the back of the sleigh. Bells jingled gently on the reins, glimmering a shining silver in the moonlight. Senayax's jaw dropped open as she put her fist to her mouth. "Oh...my gosh..." She whispered. "It's really him..."

The look of pure and unadulterated awe and joy on her face was enough to make Ansem feel slightly better about his task. (The stunned expression on Xigbar's face helped.) He dismounted from the sleigh with a single graceful step, taking the sack of presents in his hands and heading for the house as Senayax watched him, face shining brighter than all the lights that decorated Hollow Bastion.

Ansem made his way through the kitchen as his sons finally caught a glimpse of him. He was actually smiling and laughing as Senayax bounded after him like an overjoyed puppy, yammering about all of her wishes and gifts as Ansem ruffled her hair and promised her that she would receive every single one of them.

Xemnas stared. And stared. And stared some more.

Finally, he sat down in the chair Xaldin pulled out for him, accepted the hot chocolate laced with whiskey that Lexaeus handed him, and turned to Xigbar.

"You are an _asshole." _He said in amazement. Xigbar just laughed.

Senayax watched as Ansem put the presents under the tree, staring in awe as he stood up, drawing himself up to his full height as he looked down at her. She looked up at him timidly.

"Do you really see everythin'?" She asked. Ansem nodded. She sighed. "Does that mean y'saw what...happened t'me? Me an' th' baby?" She whispered. Everyone else in the room froze. Ansem was quiet for a minute.

He knelt down and embraced her, making sure she was held safe and tight before he murmured, "I did indeed, little one. And I know for a fact that you have been a very strong, very brave, and _very _good girl this year. You deserve all the wonderful things you get, Senayax. And don't you forget that." He told her. She nodded, wiping away her tears and giving him a tight hug. He smiled, kissing the top of her head before he stood up again, taking her hand in his as he turned to the Apprentices.

"You were such good sons" He murmured. "Your father is very, very proud of you, and he hopes you realizes that soon." He gave them a small smile. "Merry Christmas, boys."

Senayax watched as Ansem left the kitchen, heading outside and back onto the sleigh. She followed him out as he climbed into the seat, giving him a hesitant smile.

"Do you think I can get what I really wanted?" She asked. Ansem didn't say a word; he just pointed towards the porch, where everyone stood waiting for her. Not a single person had argued or fought, and the only thing right then that mattered to them was the happiness she felt.

"You already have it." He replied.

She watched in amazement as he flicked the reins; the reindeer snorted and galumphed, but with a small shake of their manes, they set off at a gallop and rose up into the air, bringing the sleigh with them as everyone stared in awe at the sight.

She looked back at them. They all looked at her.

Without another word, she ran right into Zexion's arms, and her lover kissed her without a second thought. As everyone gathered around her, trading hugs and kisses and laughter, she realized she had never been happier in her entire life.

* * *

As everyone went to bed, eagerly awaiting the next morning, she didn't say a word. The only thing she did before going back to bed with Zexion was hug Xemnas tight before leaving him to look at the falling snow with tears of emotions he couldn't name in his eyes.

The next morning was hectic; wrapping paper was thrown all about, presents were exchanged and given, (and most of Marluxia's presents to Vexen were discreetly shoved under the couch until the children were ushered out later), and everyone binged and gorged on candy and turkey. Senayax sat surrounded by gifts; books, toys, more obnoxiously cheerful clothing, (including a lavender-lilac dress from Belle that had brought hysterics to Luxord and a sinking feeling of dread to Xaldin), chew toys for Sunny Jim, and, (because she did live with warriors and soldiers after all), an assortment of new weapons that she was going to start training with. She was quiet, but the joy she felt was almost visibly radiating from her as she sat by the fire.

Xemnas was very quiet as he came into the room. A single small box was in his hands, and Senayax looked up at him, confused. He shook his head and knelt down to hold her.

"This is for you." He murmured. She took the box from him and opened it, gasping in awe at its contents.

A small, battered photograph of the entire Organization was laid out carefully inside the box. Everyone was in it, and everyone looked content, like a true family. The only difference Xemnas had made was the addition of two new pictures; Senayax's picture now sat in the middle of the photograph, Sunny Jim and Ienzo on her lap as she smiled for the camera, and, taped painstakingly to the other end of the photograph, a shot of the entire Hollow Bastion crew, all of them at peace, like a true family. She looked up at him, her eyes shining with tears. Xemnas just smiled.

"You're my daughter." He murmured. "And I shouldn't be the only one lucky enough to have you as part of my family."

She threw herself into his arms and burst into tears, letting him hold her while she cried in happiness. Within a minute, everyone joined them, settling in by the tree and exchanging places, making sure everyone had a place to sit beside her as Zexion held her close.

Ansem came in without a word, setting up a camera and leaving the timer on as he sat by his sons. Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, and Zexion all looked up at him, and with a small shudder of pure emotion, Ansem realized that really, nothing had changed; his sons' love for him was as strong as it always had been.

"Love you, father." They murmured, their voices soft as Ansem wept openly.

"I know, boys." He replied. "I love you too."

As everyone embraced and the camera went off, giving her the first true sense of the family that she had gotten for Christmas, Senayax just smiled.


	90. And Wondering Why There is Bliss

(Big twist this chapter. It's the first Wham chapter I've written in awhile, go me~

There is so much snow outside I swear to god. It's like fifteen inches, but what's really funny for me is that every freaking news station is like SHSASHG THE WORLD IS ENDING and I'm like "lol pussies we got more snow last year wtf are you talking about" because seriously, we got like two feet at a time at one point. WUSSES.

I've narrowed down kitty's names to Micky or Blue. It's just a matter of getting everyone ELSE to like them. ^^; She's still hiding, though. Grr. D:

So yeah, acid dream sequence. If you can find it, go listen to Byakku no Musume; it's a song from Paprika. (Really good movie, too.) It's on youtube, (as far as I know), so finding it should be a breeze. It's basically Axel and Roxas' themesong.

We're going sledding today and I get to be five years old again yaaay :D

So yeah this author's note is short because screw the world there's snow out and I'm going to go play.

Don't own.

Dedicated to SNOOOOWWW.)

* * *

The two of them went home as the sky turned a deep, rich black; the darkness swirled up around them and brought them back to the World that Never Was the second that a single star bloomed in the sky. Everyone else had been off on light, easy missions, and once again, the castle's night was an easy, lazy one. Saix immediately retired to his room with Xemnas, but Axel didn't protest; he saw the smile that his Isa gave him, and it was enough for him to bite his tongue. Still, all but the blindest of people would have noticed that for the rest of the night, Axel was morose and withdrawn.

Xigbar tried to prod him for answers; all Axel said to him was that, "He was tired." And while it was certainly true enough, not even Axel knew why his pain, for the pain of a man without a heart, ran so deep and hurt so fierce. He just kept quiet after that, but Demyx, Luxord, and Xigbar were all eyeing him with concern.

"Going to bed, guys." Axel finally said, laying down his last hand. Demyx nodded, snuggling into Xigbar's embrace and watching him with wide, too-knowing eyes.

"Mmkay." He replied. "Just holler if you need us, all right? You gotta stay safe." He told him. Axel actually managed to smile, ruffling Demyx's hair and grinning at the squeak of shock he received in return.

"Will do, water baby." He teased, saluting them all lazily before disappearing into the darkness.

The other three men were quiet for a few minutes. All of them stared at where Axel had been before Demyx finally spoke up, his soft voice startling them out of their thoughts.

"Something's changing in him." He murmured. "And it's something big." He paused. "And maybe something dangerous."

Neither his lover nor Luxord disagreed with him.

* * *

Axel fell asleep almost as soon as he hit the pillow. The darkness swamped him within an instant, but almost a second after, the darkness of his dream was swarmed with ever-growing stars. He looked around and swallowed, feeling a tightness in his chest that he couldn't explain. He shook his head and stepped forward, breath hitching in shock as he noticed there was an actual floor underneath him.

The floor itself was beautiful; it was a stained-glass window, cut out into a perfect circle. The edges of the circle were swirls of perfect burning gold; the inside was a perfect ocean-blue, like the eyes of

_S-O-R-A_

But this _wasn't _S-O-R-A's no

this was this had to be oh yes yes _yes_

_R-O-X-A-S_

Axel looked down and saw the picture of the boy he knew he was destined to love spread out in perfect stars of gold, white, and black below him. Axel almost collapsed from the sheer weight of his beauty, but he managed to force himself forward so he could walk up to his face and look into his perfect sapphire eyes.

"Roxas." He finally whispered. "_Roxas." _

The word was like heaven on his tongue; it was as if he had found the language of the angels. He knelt upon the stained glass and bowed down to brush his lips against the portrait's face. The world around him hummed in response, and he moaned in bliss.

He didn't want to get up and leave the portrait, but he knew that he had to eventually. With a soft sigh, Axel stood up and looked around the world that had become a part of his mind. The darkness outside the circle he was standing on pulsed with colors that seemed just barely out of reach, but the inner parts of the stained-glass floor seemed to be dead and flat. He shuddered. The dead, flat colors that surrounded him seemed horribly wrong...

Almost without thinking, he sent out a small trail of flames that ran along the cracks in the stained glass patterns. The leaping warmth of the flames made the glass finally shimmer and shine, flickering with the bright sunset brilliance of the fire that embraced it. Axel smiled in satisfaction, walking among the flames without even batting an eyelash; no fire could dare harm him, and certainly not one he had conjured.

He walked around the surface of the fire-glass, looking at all the little patterns that blossomed across it. As he looked at them, he frowned. He knew there should be three empty circles. He didn't know why he knew that, but he definitely did. He bit his lip. The single empty circle ached him to look at. In the dreamscape, his consciousness howled with agony at seeing the one empty circle, so close to _his _Roxas.

At the sound of the star-boy's name, Axel found the courage to step up to the circle and press his hands against it. Offering comfort to that loneliness, that emptiness...in a place that should be filled with friends or lovers...it was all he could do. It was all he knew _how _to do.

The darkness of the circle began to glow a perfect blossoming white; the light should have frightened Axel, and he knew that, but what he really believed deep in his

_heart no but SOUL _

was that this was all for

_R-O-X-A-S_

and for his star-boy, he would do _anything. _

The light began to slowly creep its' way up his arms, making soft spiraling swirls up his neck and settling in across his eyelashes, his lips, his tattoos; it wound its way around his ears and carded its way through his hair, settling in and moving ever downward, trailing down his back like pure white rain, going down past his legs and reaching his feet in a delicate, painstaking way that made Axel want to both cry out with joy and scream with impatient frustration.

The light paid his feelings no heed, moving around each curve, bend, and line of muscle on his chest before sliding down to his thighs, moving down and finally settling in on top of his feet, leaving him embraced in the pale white light-rain. He swallowed; the light felt...foreign, and almost painful in its intensity, but Axel didn't sense any harm in it, and thus, he didn't attempt to burn the light from his skin.

The circle glowed brighter in response to his acceptance, and Axel noted with shock that the light had begun to slip away, trailing down to the circle like rain falling and pooling into a lake. He almost whined with protest; the brilliant intensity of the light had become almost comfortable, and the feeling of it being so slowly snatched away hurt. The light had left him before he found the words to beg for it to come back, however, and Axel could only watch as it settled into the circle and banished the darkness. Seeing the darkness fade away gave him hope, and the thought of the light he had given it chasing away the darkness was enough to make him feel better about having had the light leave him.

He heard a soft hum, and he watched with awe as the light settled and formed another portrait. His mouth dropped open and he stared in shock; the portrait was of _him. _He shook his head and observed the picture; he looked almost beautifully savage, chakrams out and fire leaping across his arms.

He noted that the way the light had captured him in the perfect position, one where he stood almost in front of Roxas, as if he was daring the darkness to cross the circle and hurt his boy. Axel felt at peace seeing it; initially, the savagery had worried him, frightened him because

_whatif you hurt him whatif_

But no, he was Roxas' protector. He would defend Roxas. He would keep Roxas _safe. _

_I knew you would._

The voice that was not his own and yet was so painfully familiar made Axel jump. He looked up to see who had dared intrude the sacred circle, warning reflected in his emerald eyes, but at the first glimpse of the intruder, the warning dissipated and was immediately replaced with worship.

_R-O-X-A-S no not _

_S-O-R-A he's not you anymore and now _i _have you _

_keep you safe forever_

_R-O-X-A-S_

The blonde boy that stood in front of him now was Roxas. Without a doubt. He was too perfect, too light-borne and angelic to be anyone else. Axel reached out a hand, his lips forming his name, the sacred single word of his name, and Roxas finally spoke.

_Hi, you. _Roxas said. His voice was delicate, almost childlike in its purity, like a newborn star. Is_ it you, Axel? Really you?_

Axel would have laughed if he had remembered how to make his body do what he wanted it to. Instead, he just nodded.

Roxas smiled, and Axel felt every nerve and drop of blood in his body explode in light and song. He was on fire, and it was _perfect. _

_I'm so glad. I missed you. _He confessed. _I didn't know how to bring you to me...and the darkness is too strong. I'm not strong enough yet to call to you. _

Axel shook his head and bowed, deep and low as he knelt in front of Roxas. He wouldn't do this for any other man; Axel had the pride of a blazing flame, all destruction and power and life, but for Roxas, he threw away everything except pure and simple desire.

_You didn't need to call to me, Roxas. I would tear apart all the worlds to find you. I was the one who called to _you. He confessed. _I needed to find you. I needed to make sure you were safe. I... _Axel inhaled sharply. _I had to find you before someone stole you away from me. _

Roxas was quiet for a minute. He reached down and suddenly buried a hand gently into Axel's hair, stroking it with one hand as he cupped Axel's cheek with his other hand and knelt down to meet him face-to-face.

_No one's going to take you from me. _He promised. _No one's stronger than you, right? _He teased. Axel nodded, desperate to hold him tight while he still could in this blessed, perfect dreamscape, but unsure of how to reach out. Roxas seemed to know-Roxas could see inside him, strip him down to the barest flicker of fire in his soul, and Roxas held him tight. Axel wrapped his arms around Roxas' waist, his tight embrace a silent vow of protection, of defense and servitude.

_I wouldn't let them take you from me. _Axel whispered, his voice hoarse and rough with emotion. _No matter how strong they are, I'll never let anyone take you from me, Roxas. _He promised. Roxas nodded.

_I don't know where I am, Axel. _He confessed, voice suddenly high and filled with fright and tears. The instinctual response-the raw, snarling, mad animal inside him-roared for him to maim and rip and tear apart whatever frightened his Roxas, but he managed to leash it and look down at his boy. _I...I mean, I'm in the darkness. I know that much. But I don't know how to get out. And I have to get out, or I'll never see you. Help me, Axel. Please. _He begged.

Axel finally managed to laugh; it was a rough, sharp laugh, but it was enough to serve as a release of all the emotion that had welled up within him, heart or not.

_You don't even need to ask, Roxas. _He murmured. _Wherever you are, I'll come find you. _He promised, holding Roxas ever tighter. Roxas nodded, burying his head into his chest.

_I believe you. _He replied. Those three little words set Axel ablaze, but he tried not to show it; he settled for looking Roxas in the eyes. His perfect ocean-blue eyes that were lit up like sapphire stars, so beautiful it _hurt. _He swallowed, fully aware that he was trembling and shaking with want and need and desire and agony.

_I don't know where I am right now, _Roxas said, carefully choosing his words as his gaze deepened with thought, _but I know where I'll be. You have to come find me in a city of stars, Axel. That's what the darkness says. _He frowned. _I want to help more...I wish I could...but it's something, right? _He asked. Axel nodded, unable to speak for a minute as he settled for holding Roxas in his arms and taking in the unique weight and feel and sensation of Roxas curled up against him.

_I'll come find you, Roxas. _He promised. _Stay strong and hold on, okay? I won't stop looking, I promise. I'll find you. _He whispered. Roxas nodded.

_All right, Axel. I'll be strong. _He promised in return, looking up into his eyes and making Axel's entire world sing again. _And I'll remember you. I'll know who you are. _

Axel blinked. _How? _He asked. Roxas gave him a small half-smile before leaning up from his place in Axel's arms and giving him a single delicate kiss.

The world exploded behind Axel's eyes, and for a minute, he could have sworn in front of all the angels and sinners and saints that he felt a heart pounding wildly against his chest as light and color and fire and everything beautiful and worth living for in all the worlds seemed to become his entire body. Roxas just smiled once more.

_I couldn't ever forget a kiss like that. _He murmured. Axel saw him fading away from his embrace, even as he spoke, but for some reason, there was no fear or pain in his thoughts. All he felt was determination and desire as he felt Roxas become a part of the light again, murmuring in his ears, _chase me, find me..._

_I'm coming, Roxas_

_all for you, starboy all for you_

_S-O-R-A _

_no_

_no more _

_R-O-X-A-S _

_my perfection, my need, my _

heart

_I'll burn all the stars to the ground if I have to. All I know is that I'm coming, Roxas. Just...wait for me, all right?_

_..._

Axel woke up a second later, looked around his room, and knew without really understanding why that he had to run away.


	91. For Want of a Friend

(Apparently I really enjoy making people cry. You'd never think it, but I'm like, the nicest person ever IRL, and intentionally making someone cry would kill me on the inside. It's just in my writing that I do this, apparently. Jeez. I mean, I torture characters to the point of sociopathy, my work apparently runs on the dreams of small children and the tears of little girls, and kicking puppies isn't just a hobby, it's a fucking art form. Yeah.

But yes, blah this chapter is sobful and heartwarming and whatever. Saix grows a pair, too. ^^;

Okay, so everyone in my house has cabin fever. THIS IS WHY I HIDE IN MY ROOM. Seriously, I'm a borderline recluse. Everyone else in my family is just...yeah.

Also, for the record, watched Perfect Blue. (Movie I highly recommend. ^^)

The good side? I got some ideas for OGC.

The bad side? Most of those ideas are based off of an absolutely horrifying, trigger-tastic, vomit-worthy rape scene.

I don't know why I do it to myself either.

It's a great movie, but god DAMN, Satoshi Kon. What the hell.

(The music is so great though gosh.)

So yep, XemSai fluff too. Enjoy it while it lasts. ^^

Don't own KH~

Dedicated to Disney for re-airing Gargoyles on Disney XD. YAY. :D)

* * *

He was quick and deft and quiet; he packed very little, stowing away all his munny for later. He looked around his room and gave it a small, sad smile. As much as he knew he had to do this, he also knew he would miss his friends. The Organization was home now; perhaps not a perfect home, but it was his home, and even though he knew he had to find him, he didn't want to make anyone think he had left without saying goodbye.

He summoned a piece of paper from the darkness, a pen falling into his hand beside the paper. He laid the paper down on the night-stand, chewing his lip in thought as he tried to think of what to say. He sighed and shook his head. The only person he wanted to find this was Isa. Isa deserved something genuine.

He put the pen to the paper and wrote.

"_Dear Isa-puppy,_

_ I know you have Xemnas now. Well, I have Roxas-and I have to go find him. He _needs _me, Isa. He came to me in a dream and begged for me to find him. He's the one boy I know I'm truly _destined _to love-what else can I do?" _Axel sighed, burying his hands in his hair. He didn't know how else to explain everything to Isa, but he had to try...

"_I love you too, puppy, don't think I don't. You're my best friend in the whole wide world, and you always will be. But you have Xemnas now, and as much as I hate to admit it, I know he's important to you. I know you love him, even if you don't know that yet. And I want you happy. That's all I wanted, puppy. But...now I have to go find Roxas and make sure I can be happy with him. I won't be gone forever. I promise. And no matter what happens..." _

Axel choked back a sob, seeing his tears blot the paper and muddle the ink as he tried to keep himself from crying.

"_No matter what happens, we're best friends forever. I love you so much, Isa. Keep yourself safe._

_ With all my love,_

_ Axel."_

Axel put the note down and wiped tears away from his cheeks in a single hurried swipe. He turned away from the nightstand and looked up out of the window, facing Kingdom Hearts.

"You keep my puppy safe." He ordered.

The moon didn't respond, but he had really only been talking to himself anyway. He sighed, lighting a fire in his palm and illuminating the room around him. He managed a small smile before he disappeared into the darkness, murmuring only, "_I'm coming, Roxas..._" before he spirited away from the World that Never Was.

* * *

Saix awoke in the morning and already knew that something had gone horribly wrong. Without even caring if he awoke his master, he vaulted from his bed and bolted for the door, storming down the hall and heading to Axel's room.

He paused at the foot of the door. There didn't seem to be any blood or signs of a struggle, but there wasn't even the slightest whisper of breath beyond the door, let alone Axel's normally thunderous snores. Saix fought down a shudder and twisted the knob, stepping over the threshold as he called out softly, "Lea? Are you all right?"

He didn't receive a response. Saix swallowed, opening the door all the way and looking around the room. It was threadbare and empty, as if no one had ever lived there at all.

Saix hated himself for doing it, but he could already feel tears springing up to well in his eyes as he walked over to the bed, feeling more and more like he was simply in a horrible dream. He traced the thin white sheet until he came to a small, carefully-folded note. "_ISA" _was scribbled across the front of the paper in messy blue ink, and a small heart was carelessly doodled on the other side of the paper.

Saix read the note. He devoured every word, processed every sound and vowel and syllable until they settled in his thoughts and left him with one coherent thought.

Lea was gone.

Lea was gone, all because of the Keyblade; as sure as if the Knight had killed him. Lea was never coming home. Lea had _left him._

Saix was very quiet as he set the note back down on the bed.

Without a hint of warning, he threw his head back and howled, keening in agony as Kingdom Hearts shone above him impassively.

* * *

Xemnas started violently, looking around his bedroom and realizing that Saix wasn't in bed. He swore, already hearing the howls from down the hallway. He threw on a black silk robe and opened the door again, running down the hall and realizing with a bit of shock that Saix was in Axel's room. He tried not to let jealousy lance his thoughts quite yet, but he knew he was already on edge as he burst through the door and found Saix curled up on the empty bed.

He shivered, trying to bite back a snarl at the sight of his Saix on Axel's bed. He controlled his thoughts and asked, "Saix? Whatever could be the matter?"

Saix looked up at him, and for a second, Xemnas felt sick to his stomach at the hatred he saw in Saix's eyes.

"Lea's _dead." _He snarled. "And you and your Keyblade Knight _killed him."_

As much as Xemnas wanted to lay claim to that achievement, he knew that not only was Saix serious, but he was in quite a bit of pain and ready to lash out. Thus, he schooled his expression and settled instead for shaking his head.

"Puppy, the Keyblade Knight couldn't have gotten a hold on him." He comforted him. "We're still in the castle, remember? We would have heard something." He said. Saix shook his head.

"That isn't what I _meant." _Saix snarled, his rebuke harsh enough to put Xemnas slightly on edge. "What I mean is, Sora lured him out of the castle and now Lea's on his own-exactly what you ordered us not to be. But he's in _love." _The harsh, bitter, sarcastic emphasis on the word made it seem like it was filled with poison as Saix spat it out. "Love-a false, fleeting, useless emotion at best-is what made him decide that being with us is less important than going after _Roxas!_"

Xemnas was becoming more confused by the minute. He shook his head and sighed, trying to sort it all out. "Saix, who on earth is Roxas?" Saix surprised him by laughing again; a dark, bitter smile punctuating his pain spread across his features as he gripped the bed so tightly under his claws that it began to tear up underneath him.

"You really don't know, master?" He hissed. "Sora? Roxas? Put together the x, Xemnas. Lea went after the Keyblade Knight's Nobody. Lea went after the Nobody of one of the most dangerous people we know of. My best friend in the entire universe is going to _die." _

Xemnas knew he should have been more empathic; Saix was obviously hurting and worried, but all he could really think of was that the Keyblade Bearer now had a Nobody. One they could use.

One that _Axel _had gone after.

He snarled, unable to keep his frustration and hatred down. That flaming bastard insisted on interfering in everything he did, from trying to understand and observe the Keyblade Bearer to courting Saix, and he, at this point, wouldn't have even left the Knight scraps of Axel to murder. He inhaled sharply and shook his head.

"All right then." He murmured. "Since Number VIII has decided to defect from the Organization, we will have no choice but to declare him an enemy. Allying himself with the rogue Keyblade Bearer is treason, and I will treat it as such." He stood up and adjusted his robe before heading for the door. "I'll let the others know once they wake up. They ought to know that one of us has turned traitor."

Saix slapped him.

The sting wasn't particularly harsh or bruising, but it was the force behind the gesture that stunned both of them. Indeed, Saix was staring in shock at his own hand, as if it had suddenly risen up against him. However, the confusion left his eyes after a second, and he glared at Xemnas with a sharp ferocity that didn't waver, even as their eyes met.

"Don't speak about Lea that way." He whispered. "He would never betray the Organization."

_Or me. _His thoughts pleaded. Part of him was certain that this was all just a bad dream, even now. So he kept talking, considering nothing bad ever happened in dreams that you couldn't wake up from.

Xemnas shook his head in amazement. "Saix, he left you." He said gently. "Axel left the Organization to go chase after a rogue Nobody, and you're defending him? He left you alone, even after all that pitiful talk of _"friendship" _he was so fond of, all for a boy he doesn't even know and for emotions he doesn't even have." He shook his head. "If anything, you should be the angriest out of us all."

Saix shook his head vehemently, realizing with a small bit of bitter shock that he was already blinking back tears.

"He...he had no choice." He inhaled. "Roxas...said he needed him. If this love is true, then I see it as perfectly natural that Lea would leave to find him. That's what you do for the people you care about. And...if the other people you l-love...if they understand, then they'll wait. Because they would do the same for the people they loved. That's why..." He shuddered. "Even though it hurts, I trust Lea. I can only hope he comes home safe. In the meantime, I won't regard him with hatred or as an enemy, but with understanding. Because, heart or not, I know I would have done the same." He finished. Xemnas raised an eyebrow.

"You do? And for what, Saix? What would it bring you?" He asked.

"That's what you do for the people you truly care about, I know that. I would have done the same for you." Saix said.

The words floored them both. It was as if some invisible wraith had taken over Saix's thoughts and made him speak; he stared haplessly in shock, as if startled by his own thoughts. Xemnas just stared at him, unsure of what to say as Saix continued.

"So then, my master, what would that make me in your eyes if I left? Would I be a traitor too? Would you really eliminate me, Superior, just like that, for protecting the person I loved?" He murmured. "Because I have already promised my life in your stead. If you were to kill me for that, then it would be a death I had already accepted when I made my vows to you."

Xemnas was silent. Saix just looked away.

Without warning, Xemnas held him in a gentle, feather-light embrace; it was only an instant, but it was perfect and ethereal while it lasted. Xemnas pulled away and gave him a slow, serious look before nodding.

"All right. I understand, Saix. Then we will explain the situation to the others and see what comes of it." He murmured. "Come, my pet. Things will look much better after breakfast." He said. Saix nodded, following behind him hesitantly. He didn't know what to say until Xemnas turned around and gave him a small, familiar smirk.

"Well, puppy?" He murmured. "Aren't you coming?"

Saix didn't hesitate any longer. He caught up with his master and took his hand, feeling the gentle weight of Xemnas' hand in his own and smiling with relief. While it wasn't perfect, it was a start, and at least now...perhaps both he and Lea would have a chance to find happiness in another's careful hands.


	92. Glass Castles

(OH LOOK MARVEX AGAIN SEE TOLD YOU.

But yeah, poor puppy. Someone needs hugs. :(

Marluxia you are such a stalker I swear to god. Bad Marluxia! /smacks with newspaper/

Wow, this will be my last update of the year. Holy crap how time flies.

GOING TO NYC TOMORROW! so I might not update. My apologies. I'll bring back pictures and stuff and also lots of stuffed animals. TIMES SQUARE DISNEY STORE AHOY.

They better have an Oswald plushie.

All right, so. Saix apparently discovered his spine, and we're all good. ^^ And also fluff and stuff. And more hurt/comfort because I'm really disgusted with myself. BAD SELF. YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW.

Also I know they don't have hearts but Vexen saying that line WOULD NOT LEAVE MY HEAD so it's an EXPRESSION and he does not mean it LITERALLY so THANK YOU FAN DUMB. There. Done. Disclaimer. :D

Also; re: creepy perfect blue homage? Half of it's written. And it's creepy. (Obviously.)

And that's mostly it!~

Don't own.

Dedicated to the new year. You'll probably be just as crazy as this one, but hey, let's enjoy the honeymoon.)

* * *

Even before breakfast, Xemnas called them all to the meeting room. Most of the others had cups of coffee in their hands, save for Saix and Xemnas. Saix looked pale and wan, and Xemnas just looked frustrated and fed up. The Apprentices all shared a nervous glance; they had seen that look before and it never bode well.

Xemnas sighed, putting his chin in his palm and closing his eyes for a moment, giving in to his annoyance. He knew he had to tell them, and he knew he needed to be able to explain it clearly and rationally, but how was he supposed to do that when he really just wanted Axel to _die? _He sighed. Being the leader was hard.

"Axel has left the Organization." He said. "However, he has not betrayed us. More to the point, the flaming brat has run away to find the Keyblade Bearer." He paused. Should he knock them for another loop?

As he looked at the ten stunned faces in front of him, he grinned. Ah, well. In for a penny, in for a pound.

"Well, to be even more towards the point, Axel has run away to find the Keyblade Bearer's Nobody, who I truly believe is going to be instrumental to our plans of reclaiming Kingdom Hearts. Any questions?" He purred.

Xigbar raised his hand, giving Xemnas a filthy look.

"Uh, yeah, Xeh; _how the fuck did you let this happen!" _He roared. "You just _let him walk out of the fucking castle,_ and no one goddamn_ noticed!" _He shouted, gesturing wildly at the walls around him. "There is no way you could have been that stupid!"

Xemnas groaned. "Your trust in me is comforting, Braig, but that isn't the point. Yes, he left. But he left..." He bit his lip. He didn't know how to put it. Surely, it was false emotion, and thus calling it by whatever flowery terms Axel had couched it in would be pointless, but-

"He was in love." Saix said, cutting into the discussion. Everyone fell silent; Saix rarely, if ever, spoke out of turn, and to interrupt Xemnas was _unthinkable. _They settled for watching, already sensing, (with their finely-honed drama receptors, all of which they had all developed through spending _far _too much time at the castle), that there was going to be some major drama afoot.

Saix shook his head, slouching slightly in his seat as if weighed down by grief. "Lea was in love with Roxas. That...that's the boy's name. R-Roxas. And he apparently ordered Lea to find him." He shook his head, biting back obvious tears. "And Lea just _listened. _Because that's what you-all of you, every last one of you-would do if someone you loved was in need, heart or not. And he's my best friend, and I know him better than anyone. And he's gone now, but that doesn't change the fact that I understand him. I'll wait for him to come home when he's ready."

He continued on, seemingly unaware of the stunned looks across everyone's faces. "However, we obviously should not sit on our hands and not bother searching. Look for Lea, or another boy-according to Lea's rather...deranged testimonials, he would be blonde with blue eyes. Probably in his mid teens, as well. Just..." Saix sighed. "Lea was not a traitor. I know he cared about the Organization. He's doing this for Roxas, however, and it would be foolhardy to attempt to stop him. As such, if you see him, do not attempt to engage him in either combat or conversation; simply alert me to the world he is in and I will speak with him myself." Saix finished.

As if the fact that he had just spoken entirely out of turn and openly defied his Superior had just hit him like a bus only a second ago, Saix's face literally turned crimson within an instant, and his eyes got wide as he looked up at Xemnas and gave him a sheepish grin.

"...That is, if that is what my Superior wishes." He mumbled.

The others were trying, (and mostly succeeding), to hold in giggles as Xemnas sighed, knowing when he had been beaten.

"It seems like a good plan, Saix. Very well, then. You all know the situation; from now on, any missions will have finding out anything we can on either Axel or Roxas as their chief priority. Now, all of you, I advise you to remain level-headed about this; we'll find them, and perhaps even be a step closer to Kingdom Hearts." Xemnas sighed. "Dismissed." He finished.

The rest of the castle disappeared into a swirl of darkness within an instant, leaving him behind alone in the throne room. He sighed and buried his hands in his hair, wondering bitterly about what he had just gotten himself into before getting off of his throne and heading down to the kitchen for breakfast.

...

Saix ate without really tasting what was in front of him; he was far too on edge about Lea's disappearance to care about what he ate. However, as much as he tried to hide his worry, even the less emotionally perceptive of the castle had begun to take notice.

"Saix?" The soft voice made the berserker jump, and he turned around quickly, only to see that Vexen was standing behind him with concern written across his features. "Are you all right?" He asked. Saix sighed. If it had been anyone other than Lea or his master, he would have lied and said fine, but Vexen had listened to him once before; perhaps he could try to trust him. With that in mind, he shook his head.

"Not really, no, but I'm sure it's not worth your time." He ventured, curious to see if Vexen would really try to reach out. It seemed that fate was intent on surprising him, as Vexen shook his head and waved his hand around with an air of arrogance.

"Pah! You're about the only one in this castle who thinks my time is actually worth something, being a proper man of science and all; bless your heart, dear child." He said, shaking his head. "The point remains, Saix, that no, you are not a waste of my time. Come down to the lab, won't you? I'm certain I could scare up some coffee for the both of us, and we can sit and discuss whatever happens to be weighing on your mind." He offered.

Saix almost visibly perked up at the thought of really getting to see the labs, and he nodded eagerly. Vexen smiled indulgently and beckoned him downstairs. "Wonderful, wonderful. Come along, and mind your step; the stones can get chilly." He explained. Saix nodded, following him down the steps and past the first door. Vexen sighed, fumbling for the coat rack beside the door and wrapping a pale, ice-blue robe around his thin frame.

"Good hell, it is rather cold down here, even for me. Help yourself to a coat, Saix; I asked the Superior to fashion coats for all six of us, and I believe that his might fit you well enough." He offered. Saix nodded, wrapping the navy blue robe around himself. The warmth of the robe and the _almosthere _scent of the Superior, his master, was enough to drive Saix mad with need. He settled for hugging the robe even closer and following Vexen into the main lab.

The scientist had already sat down with two cups of coffee on the smooth, sturdy oak table, and was eagerly awaiting Saix's arrival. The berserker stifled a yawn and settled into the other empty chair as he accepted the cup of coffee before opening his mouth and finally doing his best to explain.

"Well, it's just, Lea and I-we were best friends, you understand-and I know we don't have hearts, because my master told me well enough and I certainly more than trust his genius, but..." Saix sighed. "I still loved him. He meant so much to me it scared me a little, especially since there were times it seemed like I was going against what my master decreed by staying his friend." He shook his head. "But I knew being friends with Lea was important. It was what made me good. It was what made me _human, _and _real, _and _right." _He continued on.

"I mean, I feel abandoned and hurt, certainly, but I understand it at the same time. Like I said in the meeting...I believe Roxas is what can keep Axel human. He had been...almost...slipping, lately. Perhaps because of his dislike of my master, or the fact that I spend my time with Xemnas...Lea had been losing himself in Roxas. And...I'm hoping that when he finds him, the two can become...good. One. So they can both live. That way, Roxas can get Kingdom Hearts, and then Lea and I can have hearts, and I won't have to worry about disobeying my master's orders for still loving him!" Saix said cheerfully.

If he had still had one, the dissonant innocence in Saix's tone would have broken Vexen's heart. As it was, he settled for squeezing Saix's hand and sighing as he stroked his hair soothingly.

"I understand. In fact, I believe you're right; while you settled down with Xemnas, that much is certain, Axel is the only one of us that has been left alone, needy, and wanting. Even if you hadn't been with Xemnas, Axel would have gone looking for Roxas. That's simply how these sort of things work. It is nothing you should blame yourself over." He murmured comfortingly. Saix nodded and gave him a small smile as he continued. "He will come home, and he will become Axel again; he'll remember what it's like to be human through Roxas." He promised. Saix nodded and smiled happily and openly for the first time in what Vexen suspected had been a long while.

Vexen sighed, slightly amused. "And if Roxas is what you and Xemnas say he is, I suspect we all might. At any rate, perhaps you would want to stay down here for a time? Having an objective eye to help me go over the notes I've been drawing up might be of some use." He asked. Saix nodded, and Vexen smiled, pleased. "Wonderful. You can sit, I'll just go get them-" He was cut off as he stood up, the sleeve of his robe catching on the ribbed handle of the cup and knocking it to the ground. He swore, turning around to try and get it before he realized that he had neglected the giant piece that had fallen away from the rest and bounced across the floor.

His socks were no match for the jagged ceramic; the shard pierced his foot with ease, and he could already feel blood soaking into the sock. He hissed in pain and immediately leaned against the table for support.

"Vexen!" Saix yelped, standing up to help him immediately. Vexen shook his head before he adjusted his weight.

"N-no, it's quite all right, I'm fine, I-" He shifted the wrong way, wriggling the shard into the wound harder. He screamed with agony, biting his lip in an attempt to block out the pain. Saix fidgeted for a minute, unsure of what to do.

"Should I get Marluxia? I'm certain he would be willing to help!" Saix offered. Vexen gasped, shaking his head despite the piercing pain that was now shooting up to his hips.

"Oh dear god, no, that would only make the situation worse, that idiot will just-"

"_What situation_?"

The cold, clipped voice shouldn't have stunned them, but it did. Marluxia stood on the door of the lab, and he did not, by any stretch of the imagination, look happy. Vexen cursed his horrible luck as Saix snarled at the new intrusion. Marluxia ignored him, coming ever closer until he and Vexen were almost face to face.

"What happened here?" He asked softly. Vexen simply glared at him before snorting with disgust.

"It's nothing, Marluxia. Just go." He muttered. Marluxia ignored his protest and knelt in front of him, examining the shard of ceramic in his foot. Vexen exhaled in a harsh sob of pain as Marluxia touched the shard in his foot with pale, delicate fingers, which only put the botanist further on edge.

"Saix." He said, voice clipped and cool. "Out."

The berserker fidgeted for a minute before standing his ground; while he certainly didn't want to be in Marluxia's way, no one but his master could order him around, that was most certain! He settled for a low growl as Marluxia looked up to meet his eyes. To his surprise, the botanist outright snarled back, the harsh, rough growl ripping itself from his throat. Saix stiffened, unsure of what to do. He had forgotten that Marluxia had claimed Vexen as his bitch, and even though Vexen wasn't very eager to reciprocate yet, Marluxia took it very seriously.

However, he couldn't just back down; Vexen was hurting and Marluxia seemed to be making it worse. The two faced each other, both summoning their weapons and readying them for battle. It was only a harsh snort of disgust from Vexen that caused them to both be thrown off their stride. The blonde rolled his eyes and gave them both a look of exasperation.

"Saix, I'll be all right. I have experience handling this idiot, and you don't. Go up and see Xemnas; I know he claims he's emotionless, but as his brother, I can tell you he's hurt about this morning and needs your comfort." Vexen told him. Saix nodded, but didn't disappear until he had given Marluxia one last filthy look and a vicious snarl. Marluxia reciprocated in kind before turning back to Vexen.

...

Vexen was breathing heavily, almost like a cornered, frightened animal as Marluxia knelt in front of him. The pink-haired man sighed before picking Vexen up and cradling him gently in his arms. Vexen didn't thrash about, afraid of driving the shard in deeper as Marluxia held him tight.

"Don't be afraid, Vexen. I know it hurts, but I'm going to make it all better, I promise." He cooed. Vexen wanted to tear him a new one for treating him like a child again, but he knew it was no use as Marluxia brought him down the hallway and into his bedroom.

"You're becoming too familiar with this place, you know." Vexen grumbled as Marluxia opened the door. He just shrugged and laughed, laying Vexen down on his bed and kissing his forehead, pulling away just in time to dodge a chunk of ice being thrown at him.

"Oh come now, don't be like that, sweetie pie." Marluxia teased, trying not to laugh as Vexen snarled at him. "Anyways, you stay here while I get the bandages and balm; the disinfectant is in the cabinet above them, yes?" He asked. Vexen pouted, (reminding Marluxia of a stubborn kitten more than a man who was succeeding at driving him away, most certainly), and did not answer. Marluxia rolled his eyes. "The longer we do this, the longer I have to memorize the layout of your room so I can make my way through this bomb zone in the dark." He fired back.

"_Right above them!" _Vexen rushed, eyes wide with terror as he gestured frantically for the door. Marluxia just laughed and blew him a kiss as he left to find the supplies. He didn't have the heart, (figuratively or literally), to tell Vexen he had already memorized it.

...

Vexen fumed, laying in his bed and trying not to think of the screaming pain in his foot. Bastard...getting him at his weakest like that! It was all part of Marluxia's evil plan that the glass broke, most certainly. In fact, it would not be any stretch of the imagination to say that Marluxia was responsible for _every single bad thing that had happened to him lately. _

_Rotten pink haired son of a bitch. _Vexen grumbled, snuggling deeper into his soft downy covers. He sighed. _Well, at least it can't get any worse. He's already got me trapped in my own bed and is dead set on fixing my wounds; what else could he do?_

"Oh, Vexy-dearest, I decided to bring in the food I had made for you already, considering you won't be able to walk for awhile. Looks like we'll be eating together today!" Marluxia trilled, looking far too cheerfully wicked as he waltzed in with medicine and a tray laden with food.

Vexen was going to not only kill him, but stuff him in a glass jar and experiment on him. For the rest of _eternity. _


	93. Massage Therapy

(It's like five in the morning and yes, I am indeed updating. Oh my god I'm so fucking tired. I hate insomnia. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE just goddamn.

Ulch, so like, I got the dates wrong and I'm going to NYC today. Good thing my insomnia lets me update :D /sob/

Anyways, MORE MARLUXIA AND HIS MOMMY COMPLEX

Also as of now, the kitty is called Screamin' Mimi, (Mimi for short.) Even for a Siamese, she is VERY talkative. And SOCUTE~! She's still shy and is like "arrr you can't see me" and plays with the stuff near my bed, completely under the impression that she's being SNEAKY. :O adorable. ^^

Also so yeah I'm gonna have to basically put in an IV drip of caffeine to get through my day. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL I CRASH. :D Oh god lol of all the days fuck you insomnia. It hasn't been this bad since I was little.

ALSO IN NEWS YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT: Okay so like, I overheard this song on an old VHS tape for like Pogeymans or something, and it hadn't left my head for TEN F&^*ING YEARS. That's right. Ten years. Seriously, goddam.

And thanks to TVtropes, I found it again; it's from the movie Catnapped! and it's AWESOME. Albeit earwormy. Thank you TVtropes for giving me some closure! ^^

Also, for some random reason, I just decided I want to draw what Senayax's Keyblade would look like. Don't worry, she won't get one; I'm not particularly fond of OC knights, because they all seem to be carbon copies of Sora. It just seems like a good idea at five in the morning. Ssssyeah.

All righty then! Happy New Year to everyone, and I hope you enjoy it!

Don't own.

Dedicated to fucking insomnia. Jesus christ.)

* * *

Marluxia set the tray down and picked up the disinfectant and balm, balancing a pair of tweezers on top of the lids as he sat down on the bed and examined Vexen's foot. He winced, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth and sighing. "Ugh, this damn shard's in really deep. Do you want a painkiller?" He asked. Vexen shook his head.

"I've had worse. Just hurry up and do it." He muttered darkly. Marluxia nodded, taking the tweezers in his hand and grasping the shard of ceramic in the tongs, delicately maneuvering his way around the gash in Vexen's foot as he began to slowly pull the shard out. Vexen bit back a scream of pain, not wanting to make himself seem any more vulnerable in front of Marluxia than he already had. However, tears were already dripping down his cheeks, and he couldn't even brush them away, afraid of shifting and making the gash worse.

Marluxia seemed to understand his pain, however, and reached up with his other hand to brush the tears away as he continued on without a word. Vexen just watched him as Marluxia finally dislodged the shard from his foot, tossing the bloodstained piece of ceramic in the trash. Marluxia looked up at him and gave him a sweet, soothing smile before gently pressing his lips against his foot and kissing the blood away. Vexen stared at him, mind flailing wildly for an explanation as to what Marluxia was doing, but as the botanist wiped the blood from his mouth, he realized Marluxia didn't seem to want to give him one. He sighed with satisfaction before unscrewing the lid to the ointment and daubed the healing balm over the cut that still wept and undulated with blood. Vexen yelped with pain, tears springing to his eyes as he tried to choke down a sob of agony. Marluxia murmured soft nothings of comfort before kissing the wound again and gently stroking Vexen's foot. The blond blushed bright red and looked pointedly away from him.

Marluxia just smiled again, daubing more of the ointment and disinfectant on the gash while Vexen was distracted. He wrapped bandages over the sole of his foot carefully, making sure he hadn't wrapped it around his foot so tightly it would cut off circulation before Marluxia cinched the bandages tight. He stood up and went over to Vexen's dresser, rummaging through it until he found a pair of thick and fuzzy pale blue socks, tugging them on over the bandages before settling in on the bed beside Vexen.

"So, an accident, then?" He asked. Vexen nodded and sighed heavily. He figured it was better to just work with Marluxia rather than evade every question; he wasn't up for dealing with the botanist in this state.

"Indeed. I just happened to turn around and move at the wrong time." He explained, wincing with pain. "I suppose it's nothing too bad, but..." He trailed off as Marluxia snorted with disgust.

"You're staying in bed for the rest of the day. No exceptions." He snapped. Vexen narrowed his eyes and snarled at the younger man, immediately going on the defensive.

"You don't order me around, Marluxia! You can't just tell me to stay in bed and leave me here to rot!" He snapped back. Marluxia stiffened for a minute, before a catlike smirk spread across his features and he began to laugh with satisfaction.

"Oh, really?" He purred. "What if I gave you a _reason _to stay in bed, Vexen?" He teased, laying down in between the scientist's legs and leaning on his frail chest, trying and failing to fight down a wicked smile. Vexen's face flared bright red and he began to squirm under Marluxia's weight.

"I d-don't like what you're insinuating, Number XI." He muttered darkly. Marluxia rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Aww, I didn't mean anything like _that, _sweetie pie. No, I'll save that for when you've got the flu or something else equally drastic. No, for now..." He purred, slinking down his chest again as Vexen's breath hitched in his throat, "I'll settle for some of life's simpler pleasures."

Vexen wanted desperately to protest as Marluxia took his uninjured foot in his hands and began to caress it, massaging it gently and slowly, working over all the strained muscles and rubbing his skin with firm, caring hands. He tried, he really did; he actually got his mouth halfway open to yell at him, and then Marluxia began to rub his fingers over the soft little expanse of skin between his toes and the ball of his foot, and he melted in the other man's arms.

He was just glad no one was around to see him, considering his dignity would have gone down the drain so fast it wouldn't have even had time to scream. For now...he could only sit back and let Marluxia do what he wished. It was easier than arguing with the obnoxious bastard, anyway.

With a small snort of laughter, Vexen picked up the cup of coffee that Marluxia had brought him and began to sip at it as he relaxed in Marluxia's embrace, peaceful and content.

* * *

Xemnas sighed, looking out through his study window at Kingdom Hearts. He knew he had no heart to really feel the sting of Saix's betrayal, but the pain and confusion was still there. He didn't understand it; Axel had abandoned him above all others! The two of them were "friends," and yet once Axel tossed him away without a second glance, Saix was still willing to defend him? He didn't understand it, not at all. Even his loyal second in command had his idiosyncrasies, it seemed...

He settled into his seat, looking over at the empty couch beside him. He tried not to feel the heavy weight of Saix's absence as he picked up his pen and began to scratch out a faint sketch of missions for the next week, but it was nigh-on impossible.

A soft, gentle knock at the door startled him out of his thoughts. He gathered up his composure and called, "Come in."

Saix slipped in through the door and stood at the threshold, as if he was actually unsure of his welcome. Xemnas would have laughed, if he was not so worried that Saix truly believed he was unwelcome. He beckoned to his puppy, gesturing for him to sit. He noted with amusement that if Saix had possessed a tail, it would probably have been wagging a mile a minute by the time he settled into his seat next to his Superior. Xemnas ran a gentle hand through his hair before sighing softly.

"Ah, Saix." He murmured. "Are you all right?"

Saix shook his head, looking up longingly at Kingdom Hearts before turning back to face his master. "No, Superior, I'm afraid not." He murmured in response. "I...I wish I could say yes, I do, but..." He sighed. "I feel awful for this morning. Forgive me, master, I was...hideously out of line. I plead with you for forgiveness..." He trailed off. Xemnas sighed, ruffling his hair gently and rubbing the back of his neck as Saix hummed with pleasure.

"Ah, there's nothing to forgive. Don't feel too bad, puppy. I...I think I understand." He sighed again, tracing the delicate tip of Saix's ear. "After all, while we may not have emotions...I understand that the two of you were friends. And I know that must mean a lot to you..." He shook his head. "But if there's anything I don't understand, it's this... Why do you not rage or hate? He abandoned you." He said, clearly confused. Saix huffed, giving him an odd, crooked smile.

"He didn't abandon me. I don't know where he is right now...but I know he is safe." He sighed. "He promised Roxas that he would find him. And I believe Axel. If Axel says he's going to find Roxas and come home...I believe in him."

Xemnas was quiet for a minute. Then with a soft sigh, he pulled Saix gently into his arms. Saix didn't resist his touch, and Xemnas took it as his cue to gently run his fingers through his hair. He managed a small smile.

"All right. As long as you are content...I will try my best to be content as well." He replied. Saix gave him a quick grin before nuzzling him in an oddly canine gesture of affection. Xemnas smirked, gesturing to the paperwork in front of him. "Can you help me with missions, puppy?" He asked. Saix grinned.

"You don't even have to ask." He replied, settling in beside his master and picking up a pen.

* * *

The day went by quietly. Vexen remained in his room for the entire day, looking over his journals and taking notes as Marluxia retreated to his greenhouse, coming in to check on Vexen every hour or so. The scientist grumbled, but couldn't bring himself to complain, (especially considering that Marluxia was bringing him a steady stream of coffee and pastries.)

However, during one of Marluxia's frequent trips to the lab, he noticed a fallen sheaf of notes. He quirked an eyebrow before leaning down to snatch them up, stowing the file away in his pocket. He was curious as to what Vexen would label with his name on it...

With a soft sigh, he left the tea tray on Vexen's nightstand. The scientist had fallen asleep, and was breathing in a gentle, even pattern as Marluxia looked at him. He grinned, ruffling his hair affectionately, relishing the touches he couldn't get while Vexen was awake. He turned to leave, but not before leaving Vexen a brand new ice rose from his garden. He would find it eventually. For now, Marluxia had a file to read.


	94. Gone Away

(Don't ever let me go to NYC with my family again. All I can say is that no, it was not fun, without breaking down into hysterics. The only good thing I got was a shirt of a still from "The Mad Doctor" on it, so WOO VINTAGE DISNEY :D

Yes, this is supposed to be a tear jerker. CRY. CRY DAMN YOU.

And as for that dream thing...well, Larxene, be careful what you wish for. That is all.

No Oswald at the disney store. :( I want one so baaad. DDD:

Ohwell! Someday! ^^

Love you all so much. Have a wonderful day.

Don't own.

Dedicated to the little lucky bamboo plant on my desk. GROW BABY GROW~!)

* * *

He went back out to his garden, letting the plants whisper and murmur to him as he headed for the greenhouse that he and Vexen shared. He was curious to see if the blond had left anything in there. Vexen was rather meticulous, certainly, but Marluxia couldn't help but wonder if perhaps he had left behind something interesting.

He tapped on the door and watched as it opened for him with a soft shushing sound. The plants bobbed in the warm gusts of air, and he chanced to brush a few of them in greeting. However, he had more important things to do, which they seemed to understand; the plants were already shrinking back onto their trellises. He stepped across the threshold and found the bench he had gotten for Vexen, settling in and opening the file.

He skimmed the first page idly, bored by the diagrams. It wasn't anything special; cross-sections of each part of the heart and its valves, along with a few extra notes on the _vena cava._ He flipped to the next page, which, instead of scientific sketches and notes, had a journal entry. Marluxia raised an eyebrow and began to read it.

Vexen's handwriting wasn't as gorgeous this time. Instead, it seemed jagged and blurry, as if he had been fighting off his own thoughts, even as he wrote. Marluxia shivered, but finally found where the journal entry began.

_I need these hearts to work. I need to get this tugging feeling out of my chest. I need him to _go away.

Marluxia didn't realize he was crumpling the paper in his fist until he realized he couldn't see the words on the page anymore. He unfolded it, hands shaking, and continued to read.

_He shouldn't be here. Why he's chosen me is anyone's guess. Is it because I'm vulnerable? Hah. He must not know me, then. He wants a body warming his bed, that's all. And as hard as I try, that feeling...it won't let me resist him. It won't let me stop dreaming of a man who could never dream of me. _

_I know how this works. He'll take my body and walk away; I'll be used and tossed aside. I'm not stupid. And...if I can get our hearts back...then this will stop. This feeling...it will go away forever. And then Marluxia will be free to have as many men as he likes- beautiful men, unlike me. I'll be free to be alone. I would rather be alone than broken. I..._

_I'll miss him. But I don't care. The sooner he's out of my life, the better. _

_I can't lie to myself. This feeling in my chest...it is a wonderful feeling. But it's not something I am meant to have. And I have to let it go. I have to let _him _go. _

_...Damn it, now I'm crying again. Must work on the hearts. _

_-Vexen._

Marluxia was quiet for a minute. He didn't think. He had stopped thinking the second he had begun to read.

He tossed the notes aside and left the garden, refusing to wipe away the tears that had begun to spill down his cheeks. He owed himself that much honesty.

* * *

He went up to his room without really realizing he had arrived; with a sudden jolt, he looked around to see the familiar walls, tendrils of ivy bobbing in a nonexistent breeze. The muslin curtains surrounding his bed blew gently in the same nonexistent breeze as his canopy rocked slightly, almost as if in response to his arrival. He blinked. He wasn't sure how he got here...had he teleported? Had he walked?

"Marluxia?"

The voice startled him, and he turned around, eyes wide, only to find Larxene standing behind him. She tilted her head and raised a delicate eyebrow at him. He opened his mouth to speak, but she had already taken his hands in hers, wonderingly rubbing her thumb over his palms.

"Your hands are shaking." She said. "Are you all right?"

He couldn't lie to her. He shook his head, loathing himself for breaking down in front of Larxene. He knew she had her own problems, but he wasn't going to lie; he needed his best friend's comfort, and _how._ She seemed to understand his silent plea; without another word, she tugged at his wrists and gently pulled him into his room, settling him down on the bed before sitting beside him.

"Okay, Mar. Fess up. What happened?" She asked. Marluxia looked away, trying to gather his thoughts together and explain. He had to be calm and rational, otherwise she might think he was going crazy for nothing-

"Oh god, Vexen hates me!" He bawled, throwing himself on the bed and punching the pillows like a lovelorn teenager.

(So much for that, he mused bitterly.)

Larxene raised an eyebrow, but didn't respond. Instead, she gently massaged his shoulders, leaning against him and sighing softly.

"C'mon, Marly. There's gotta be more to it than that. Tell me." She said. Marluxia inhaled sharply, trying not to cry as he began to organize his thoughts once more.

"There is, I suppose..." He shivered. "You see, Vexen has been working on a project. The purpose of the project is to fashion new hearts for us, but he seems to have ulterior motives as to why he's trying so hard." He swallowed, feeling traitorous tears sting his eyes as continued.

"If we get our hearts back, these "placebo sensations" we feel will disappear. We'll stop having that connection...which is exactly what Vexen wants." He snorted with disgust and misery. "He thinks he doesn't deserve me. No, worse than that..." He sighed. "He thinks I just want his body. He thinks I'm going to toss him aside."

Larxene shook her head. "And you won't. Right?" She ventured. He nodded.

"Right. But...he thinks that I would be better off with someone more attractive. God forbid I find _him _beautiful." He said wryly. Larxene nodded, watching as her friend's face contorted in grief.

"He hates me. He really and truly just does not want me in his life. But...I can't stop feeling like this! I can't stop my feelings for him! A-and he said as much! He thinks I don't dream of him, and it's a goddamned lie!" He was enraged now, ranting and shouting as Larxene edged away from him, slightly nervous at her friend's newfound rage.

"He doesn't get it! All I do every night is close my eyes and think of him! I dream of him because there is nothing else so perfect in my mind- nothing I would want to hold on to as much, even in sleep- and he doesn't. Understand. And I can't make him." Marluxia slumped back on the bed and closed his eyes. "I can't make him see me. I can't make him realize that I don't dream _of_ him; he _is _my dream. He's my _everything_. And he can't see it."

Larxene was quiet for a minute.

"I don't dream." She whispered, her voice soft and hoarse. "If...if that's what dreams are like...I want to dream. I want to dream really bad." She confessed. Marluxia nodded, hugging her tightly.

"I know." He murmured. "It'll be all right." He promised her.

Yet, to be honest, he was unsure of he was speaking to her at this point, or to himself.


	95. Seye Ruoy Nepo

(Ugh, I'm really sorry, but just as a warning, don't expect any updates for about half a week or so, depending on my productivity; this chapter took me two days to write because of its content, so I only have scant amounts of update after that. And as I've mentioned, I much prefer having a lot of work in front of me so I'm not writing a chapter daily...so please forgive me. :(

Oh jesus christ, this chapter. Serious, serious, serious trigger warning for rape, gore, and violence. Do not read anything except the last few fucking paragraphs of this chapter if you're in a bad place mentally, or just very, very squeamish. I am warning you. This chapter has an M rating, I'm dead certain. I'm just a review whore. ^^;

Seriously, fuck you Satoshi Kon, you were a genius, but god DAMN.

Also, the best part? I still have more of this to come. Less gory, (well hopefully), but hey...^^; Looks like TVtropes' High Octane Nightmare Fuel page is gonna need one hell of an update.

OH GOD JESUS MY CAT IS A YANDERE. She is CRAZYWHOA possessive now. No one else is allowed near me but her, and if she's not on my lap or in my bed, she has a problem. She is like a clingy jealous girlfriend only furry. It's equal parts funny and annoying. xDx

Okay so I just watched this movie called Cat Soup, and all I can say is what. The. Hell.

There are no words to really properly describe it. It's like if David Lynch and an acid trip taking acid had sex while on shrooms and then threw up on a Salvador Dali painting. And then ate themselves.

Or something.

Anyways. So I hope you enjoy/are horrified by this chapter! :D I work so very hard to terrify you. :)

Don't own, duh.

Dedicated to my new pet Yandere. GET OFF MY LAP I AM TRYING TO WRITE JESUS.)

* * *

The two of them stayed together for the rest of the night, but Larxene had found a seed of doubt worming its way into her mind, and she didn't know how to root it out. She spent the night tossing and turning, trying to take comfort in the soft whisper of Marluxia's snores, but she didn't know how to put her pain into words, which only drove her further insane.

She wanted something. She knew she did. She didn't know what she wanted. She was scared and tired and she couldn't sleep. Every time she closed her eyes she felt something watching her. She felt vulnerable. Hurting. Frightened. That wasn't who she was...not anymore. Was it?

She sighed, looking around the darkened room. She closed her eyes again, hiding under the covers. She just wanted to sleep. She was tired.

_But you can't, Relane. _The voice startled her, but she knew better. She didn't open her eyes. Didn't move. Didn't breathe. Liestill playdead.

_I'm so hungry, Relane. And you tempt me so. To take you in my mouth...to feel your blood and taste your hurt...to fuck you raw. It's what I want. It's what you wanted. Isn't that why you stayed? _

There was pressure on her body now. Hurting and bleeding. Hard and digging into her thigh like a knife. His tongue was in her eye. She felt him up against her, suffocating her, hard knife digging into her and tearing her open, leaving her bleeding and wrecked

_ruined _

_ruined forever _

_ohgod it's going down my leg someone help please god_

He kissed her neck before moving up to her lips. His hands had pinned hers down. She couldn't open her eyes. If she opened them she would see it and it would be real. The darkness was safe. That's why she'd given in. The darkness the darkness the dark

He kissed her lips and bit her tongue. She was vaguely aware of the screaming pain as blood dripped down into her throat and choked her. She couldn't even protest as she heard him gag on the flesh before swallowing.

_Tastes good. Tastes like fear. Like whore. Like a lying whore, Relane. _

_don't open your eyes Relane don't you dare_

She felt his hands take hers and hold them steady.

_I wonder what your precious little fingers would taste like. _His tongue is going over them and she cannot breathe cannot speak he took her tongue

_OPEN YOUR EYES _

Larxene shot up in bed and bolted for the door. She barely made it to the bathroom before she threw up, missing the basin almost entirely. She didn't stop until all she had left to give was blood, and even then, she tried to retch. No luck; it only stung her throat and hurt her tongue. She shivered. At least she still had her tongue.

She stood up and looked around. She took one of the towels and laid it out on the floor. She didn't want to wake anyone. She would clean later.

Where to go now? She had to hide.

She checked her hands. All five fingers on each. She could move. She could hide. She was strong. She had her hands and her tongue.

She crept out the door, disappearing down the hallway in complete darkness. She quietly made her way down the steps, running her hands across the rail until she knew where to stop. She had hidden in the darkness before. It had been safer there. It was safe now.

She felt the walls until she came to a door. The knob protruded, hard and firm, and for a second she flinched and backed away, mind overcome with fear. Once she realized it was smooth and round, rather than a hothurt knife, she gathered up the courage to go closer again and reach for the doorknob. She turned it slowly so as not to make a harsh squeaking sound. To her delight, the door was unlocked and swung open easily for her.

She went down the steps very slowly and very quietly. It was still dark, so she gripped the railing tight. She moved down the spiral staircase with slow, methodical steps, making sure she had reached the bottom before looking around. Her eyes had adjusted enough that she could see a faint light behind the first door. She debated whether or not to go in, until she heard the soft clink of metal rings. It was familiar. It was a puzzle.

Relief washed over her and she went for the door. She didn't bother opening it slowly, and burst through the entrance.

A faint lamp light lit up the room, enough so that she could see the large outline of Lexaeus. He sat at a low wooden worktable with his back to her. The clinking of the puzzle had started to sound like the clinking of chains, but she didn't really notice. She moved towards him slowly, reaching out her hand to grasp his shoulder.

He didn't move for a minute, and Larxene wondered if she should pull away. She felt a sudden, searing pain in her hand, and she tried to jerk her hand away, pulling it off his shoulder. As she took a look at her own hand, she froze in horror, seeing that her fingers had been torn down to twitching stumps that pulsed with dark, crimson blood. She looked down at her other hand, only to see that it had met the same fate; little twitching stumps with perfect virgin-white spots of bone.

She opened her mouth to scream, but there was so much blood in her mouth that she only spat out more of it. Through the blood, she realized that beyond her teeth, her mouth was empty. Her tongue was gone.

She was left to stare, slack jawed and oozing blood from her hands and mouth, as the man turned around to face her. There was no puzzle in his hands. There was a chain instead, already covered in her tacky, drying blood. She looked up to see that the man was not Lexaeus; instead...

His hollow eyes, like dark caverns, seemed to smile at her. His mouth, the great gaping dark void, seemed to laugh.

_Hello, Relane. Open your eyes._

Larxene woke up screaming.

...

Before Marluxia had time to react, she had already thrown herself off the bed and run out the door, punching it open in a desperate attempt to flee. She bolted down the stairs, still screaming, her eyes wide with terror.

Marluxia looked at her and then looked back at the hallway. It was worth a shot...he would help.

Marluxia headed down the hall. He prayed the older man was a light sleeper, because otherwise, it might be too late to help her. He shivered.

_Don't think of that. Just get him. _

He went to knock on the door, but suddenly jumped back and moved aside. The door had been literally torn open, thrown off its hinges and tossed aside like it was nothing. Marluxia shuddered. Lexaeus stood in the doorway, and he did not look pleased.

"Where is she?" He asked, his voice deceptively soft and gentle. Marluxia swallowed. As much as the older man was making him wary, he couldn't show fear. He gave himself a minute to clear his thoughts before responding.

"She probably went down to the lab. If you hurry, we can catch her-" He was cut off as Lexaeus held up a single massive hand.

"No, Marluxia. You stay. I have to go. If it's me she's frightened of..." He shook his head. "Well then, it's me she has to face. And I don't want you getting caught in the crossfire." He said. Marluxia frowned, but he had to admit that he could not argue; the elder was right.

"However, since Vexen is your charge, I think you should head down to his room and make sure that...well, whatever happens, it does not wake him up. Can I trust you?" He asked. Marluxia's grin grew wide and pleased.

"Mm." He replied, already disappearing into the darkness.

Lexaeus sighed, steadying himself. He knew rage, however justified, would be a bad idea. As such, he had to be careful...even the smallest misstep could ruin the beautiful woman he had tried to heal.

He headed downstairs quickly, hoping deep down to the darkest depths of his soul that she would still be all right.

...

Larxene bolted down the steps, sparks trailing after her like a meteor, rebounding and glowing on the steps like little stars as she kicked down the door to the main lab and looked around, eyes wild.

"_Where are you_?" She screamed. "Get out here! Fight me like a man, goddamn coward!"

The labs were empty. No response came, but she tensed and drew her knives anyway, looking around like a cornered animal. Her chest was rising and falling in quick, short bursts as she crept around, waiting for the fight to start.

There was nothing. Nothing except the beating of a heart.

She tensed. Wait. No need for a heart. She was a Nobody. Who

_Hello. _

She turned around to see Relane standing behind her. The woman giggled, putting her hand over her mouth demurely. Larxene snarled.

"What the fuck do you want, bitch?" She spat. "Terrified little bunny. Run home, Relane, I've got a fight to pick."

Relane shook her head, diamond earrings glinting in the low light of the lab.

"No you don't." She replied. "Your fight's with me."

Larxene snorted. She had time. If he wasn't going to show up, she needed to be prepared. And this might give her a chance to warm up, it seemed. She tensed up and called on her lightning, watching as it sparked over her shoulders and arms. She leapt, ready to strike-

Only to have Relane grab her by the neck and lift her in the air. Larxene snarled, lashing out to kick her, but it did nothing to her; she didn't even seem to hear the sound of her own ribs snapping. Her eyes got wide, and she began to choke as Relane tightened her grip.

"Bad girl." She said cheerfully. "I can't wait to see what happens when we get home. Seems like_ someone_ here's going to need a _spanking_..." She purred, drumming her free fingers against Larxene's back. Larxene tried desperately to inhale, feeling agonizingly lightheaded. Her eyelids fluttered as Relane roughly groped her, snorting with disgust. "Pitiful. Looks like someone's been touching you. Just can't keep your legs closed, can you, dear?" She sighed. "We'll chain you to the bed again. Bite you. Never let you go. And you'll enjoy every minute of it." Her grip tightened even harder, and Larxene began to frantically gasp for air as Relane cooed.

"This is what you wanted, baby! This is your pleasure! Come home, honey, and get everything you deserve..." She purred, watching as Larxene's eyes began to roll back into her head. She grinned, slackening her grip as she let Larxene drop to the ground.

Suddenly, to her shock, Larxene stood up on shaky legs, and shot her a vicious glare.

"_This_ is my home, bitch," she spat, stabbing her through the chest with her knife, pinning her on the blade as she wrapped her free hand around Relane's neck. "And I'm already getting everything I deserve."

Relane just giggled, even as Larxene tightened her grip. She wouldn't stop, even when Larxene, in her frustration, began to beat her head against the stone, slamming her against it until the back of her head was pulpy brain matter and delicate shards of bone, which bled out and began to stain Larxene's hands. Larxene screamed in frustration, punching her in the face and watching with annoyed disgust as it collapsed underneath her fist.

She stood up and turned to leave, satisfied with her victory. It was only when Relane reached up again and grabbed her leg that she began to panic again, turning around to face her ruined visage. Relane snorted, pushing her eye back in and idly licking the blood off of her cheek.

"That's going to need quite a bit of makeup, wouldn't you agree?" She cooed. "Bad girl. Bad, _bad_ girl. Husband will be angry..." She didn't strangle Larxene this time; instead, she began to reach for the knife, taking the bloodstained blade in her hand and dragging it down the front of Larxene's shirt. Larxene writhed in her grasp, hissing and snarling as Relane tore her shirt in two, leaving her half-naked.

"Look at you. Flat-chested little slut. No one could ever want this. You ought to be lucky I just don't cut them off." She said, tapping the cold steel tip against Larxene's breasts. "And I might. I really, really might." She said. Larxene, despite her fury, had begun to shake. She knew what was coming. Oh yes she did. She knew exactly what was coming. She closed her eyes and waited, sinking back into the darkness.

"And here it is, darling." Relane purred. "Let's see if you're really willing to keep them spread for _anything, _dearie..." She breathed, dragging her knife down Larxene's leg as her pajama pants split in two. Larxene screamed, slamming her bare foot into Relane's side, but it did no good. She was entirely uncaring of Larxene's resistance as she finished tearing open her pajama pants, leaving her trembling in a thin pair of panties. Relane cooed, balancing the tip of the knife delicately against Larxene's core. She couldn't see it, but oh god she could feel it, she knew this like she knew her own body, and the darkness close your eyes close your eyes don't wake up

"Hush, sweetie." She said, tearing open her panties and pushing the knife in, "I'm only giving you what you deserve."

_OPEN YOUR EYES_

Larxene howled, lightning spilling out of her body, racing over her in sparks as it hissed and crackled and buried itself inside Relane, who just started laughing

_OPEN YOUR EYES_

Larxene opened them.

She shot up and wrenched the knife away from Relane, throwing it away as she backed up against the wall, chest heaving.

"NO!" She roared. "NO!"

Relane just kept laughing, ignoring her pleas as she began to come closer. Larxene screamed, throwing herself at Relane and fastening both hands around her throat.

"_I SAID NO_! STUPID BITCH, STAY _DEAD!" _She roared, slamming her into the wall as Relane's giggles became more hysterical and high-pitched and if she wouldn't fucking stop Larxene was going to tear out her goddamn tongue-

"Larxene?"

She looked up, breathing heavily. Lexaeus stood in the doorway, surprise written across his features. She sighed in relief, feeling the tugging sensation start up once more. He knelt beside her, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Larxene..." He murmured, voice suddenly becoming harsh and cold, "...did I tell you that you could get out of bed?"

Larxene tensed and tried to pull away, only to scream in relief as he let her with ease. Something small and firm fell in her lap, and as she looked down, she saw that his fingers had fallen into her lap. She screamed with disgust, frantically scrabbling away as the beast began to advance on her, pinning her to the ground with his sheer bulk.

"Lexaeus! Lexaeus, please!" She begged. Lexaeus sighed, clamping his mutilated hand over her mouth.

"Shouldn't talk." He ordered. "Holes like yours are not meant for talking."

Larxene closed her eyes and began to sob, finally letting herself cry. Not Lexaeus...not him too...

_No_. No, it wasn't Lexaeus. Those were not his hands; precious gentle careful hands. That wasn't his breath in her ear; it was hot, hideous, and rotten. His hands...Beast hands. Beast.

She could feel his cold, clammy corpse-lips against her cheeks, and his wet, swollen tongue lapping at her tears. She retched in disgust, but a harsh squeeze of her breast silenced her protests. He went down her cheek and kissed her full on the lips again, reaching in to bite her tongue.

She moaned quietly, fear overtaking her senses as she felt him lay her down and pick up the knife again, pulling away from her; she could feel her blood slick on his face.

"Ought to finish what you started. Playing with yourself." He snorted. "Disgusting."

She shivered, keeping her eyes closed as he pressed the blade against her core again, running it over the surface as Larxene bit back a sob of fear. She would not beg. She would not cry. She would not open her eyes.

"You exist for me. And if I don't like something...I get rid of it. And this, right now, I am not very happy with." He buried the knife inside her, and she finally let loose a hideous scream of pain and misery as he drove it in so far that she could feel the hilt. Still, she did not open her eyes. The beast snickered.

"Well, if you're not using your things...you might as well not bother with them at all, mm?" He purred, and she could feel him pick up her other knife, and there was just too much pain for her to react, because the hothurt knife was inside her and it was pulsing and throbbing and

_Open your eyes, Larxene. Everything is going to be all right now._

She did.

Lexaeus stood in the doorway, his face fully illuminated by warm lamp light. She looked down to see that she was fully dressed and clean, free of blood or pain. She looked up again to see him kneeling in front of her. She hesitantly reached out and stroked his hair, timid and gentle as she judged for herself that she was finally awake. He looked up and smiled at her.

"Hello, Larxene." He said. "I'm glad to see you're safe."

She burst into tears and let herself go, sobbing and screaming and pitching a fit on the floor. Lexaeus didn't mind. He sat with her and rubbed her back when she would let him, constantly murmuring a mantra of safety as she cried out all of her agony and succumbed to exhaustion.

Lexaeus let her rest for a few minutes, making sure she was entirely asleep before he picked her up and brought her upstairs, holding her like she was his bride as he brought her into her room and tucked her in, settling the blankets around her and fluffing up her pillows before he took an extra blanket and passed out in the chair next to her, remaining her steadfast guardian even when they were both asleep.

For the rest of the night, neither of them dreamed.


	96. The Likes of You

(Hey, you know what I really like doing? Not updating for half a week and then giving you the shortest update ever. :D Although once again, I have an excuse; this is a wham chapter, so woo yay? MISERY. :D

Stalkercat still stalks me. ._. ALWAYS. YANDERE CAT.

She's gotten a bit more sedate now that she's adjusted to the concept of school, thank god. ^^; She's sliiiightly less clingy.

Gah, seriously, sorry for the short update, but like I said, it's supposed to pack a punch. Which I hope it does.

Anyways, more snow~ But only six inches or so this time. BUT ANOTHER BLIZZARD ON TUESDAY. We get a lot of snow lately. I'm not particularly sure why, but hey. :)

Don't own KH~

Dedicated to you all because wow I'm sorry I suck at updates.)

* * *

Marluxia sighed, pulling up a chair by Vexen's bed and leaning back, looking around at the grey stone walls. He figured Lexaeus had helped Larxene by now, considering that the other man would have told him if she was bad enough that he would need his assistance, but...he knew he couldn't go back to sleep after seeing something like that. Not after all that had happened today on top of it. He shook his head.

"What do you dream of, Vexen?" He murmured. "A life with a heart? A life without me in it?" He shrugged. "I suppose I understand. But..." He shook his head. "Perhaps I just hoped for too much. Nevertheless..." He stood up and quietly made to leave. "...We will have to talk in the morning." He murmured, disappearing into the darkness without another word.

...

Vexen awoke the next morning and dressed quickly, still half-asleep as he made his way into the lab, shirt half-buttoned and pants loose around his hips. He yawned, stretching out and baring his stomach, before slumping in a chair and looking around for his files. As his eyes refocused and he managed to kick the lethargy of sleep from his mind, he realized with a start of shock that a few of his files were gone. He frowned. Perhaps Zexion or Lexaeus had seen fit to borrow them...? Nevertheless, he ought to check which once had been taken.

He got on his knees and began to sort through his filing cabinet, delicate, pale fingers sorting through the papers effortlessly. He made it all the way up to M before he realized just exactly what file had been taken away and, (in all likelihood), read.

His face paled and his eyes widened. He couldn't...he couldn't have...

"Good morning, Vexen." Marluxia murmured, startling him enough to make him start and turn violently to face the other man, who had been standing behind him for god only knows how long. Marluxia's expression was unreadable as he knelt down to face Vexen, their gazes level as he purposefully settled in so that Vexen could not leave. "Did you sleep well?" He asked casually, like he hadn't just cornered the scientist and left him helpless in his own lab. Vexen swallowed.

"It was all right. My body is exacting its vengeance for denying it sleep for so long and so often, which means I slept longer than I would have liked...however, it can't be helped." He said, trying to ignore the fact that Marluxia had indeed cornered him in his own lab. The other man nodded, quiet for a minute.

"And did you dream?" He asked. "Because I know I did. I was dreaming of you. I am _always _dreaming of you." He whispered, voice soft. Vexen stiffened, shocked.

"A-and so what if I was, Marluxia?" He snapped. "I doubt a creature as callous and cruel as you could really dream, anyhow." He spat. Marluxia shrugged.

"I see." He murmured, leaning in ever closer. Vexen felt Marluxia lay his hands on his shoulders, and he tensed, fright growing like a knot in his stomach. Marluxia shook his head, brushing delicate fingers against his cheek. "I read your journal." He whispered. Vexen snarled.

"It-it was you that took it? You had absolutely no right to take what was mine-it's my scientific journal, how d-dare you-" He spat.

"So scientific journals are often used to vent your romantic issues?" Marluxia said, cutting off his retort mid sentence. Vexen stared, at a loss for words. Marluxia snorted.

"I thought so." He murmured. "Well, then. There are a few things we need to discuss." He stated, stroking Vexen's hair for a minute before pulling away and looking him right in the eye. "I dream of you. You and only you. You are my _goddess. _You are everything I could possibly want in a man and more." He leaned in close and began to kiss Vexen, starting with his forehead and moving to both his cheeks, before finally placing his hands against his cheeks and massaging the skin as Vexen looked away, refusing to look at him at all. Marluxia sighed.

"You are so beautiful. So wonderful. So vain and prideful, and so brilliant..." He laughed, taking Vexen's hands in his own and kissing his fingertips. "You make me feel alive, my dear. You are everything to me. You are my dream, my desire." He sighed, getting serious as he tilted Vexen's chin up so that they could meet face to face.

"You think that if we get our hearts back and lose this connection, that we'll lose everything?" He murmured. "You're wrong. Do you know what you'll be left with?" He leaned in close enough that their lips were almost touching as Marluxia held his hands tightly. "You'll be left with love. That's what this feeling is trying to tell you. That you _love me." _He laughed quietly. "You can't fool your heart, Vexen, even when it has deserted you."

Vexen tried to push him away, but Marluxia was having none of it. He captured Vexen's lips in another kiss, savoring the feel of the man he wanted more than anything else on his lips before finally pulling away. He looked him in the eyes again and smiled. "No matter what happens, heart or not, I will never leave you." He murmured. "I spent my whole life looking for someone like you, and now that I found you..." He brushed Vexen's hair away from his forehead and gave him a single, delicate kiss. "You will never be alone again. I promise."

Vexen was silent for a minute.

He pushed Marluxia off of him with a sudden start, snarling in hatred as the other man stared at him. Vexen had small, ragged icicle spikes following his every step as he smacked Marluxia, tears dripping down his face. Marluxia just watched him.

"Do not touch me." He spat, disgust and loathing lacing every word like poison. "Do not come near me. You are nothing but a liar and an absolute goddamned _whore. _I could never love an absolute bastard like you." He snorted. "Leave. I can't be bothered with the likes of you."

Marluxia was very, very quiet, for a long, slow minute.

Without a word, he set a delicate ice rose down on the table in front of Vexen, turned around, and walked away.


	97. Full on Purity Complex

(FIVE HUNDRED REVIEWS MAKES MY EGO BIGGER THAN MEGATRON'S, YESSSS.

Seriously omfg omfg :D This is the most love I've ever gotten for a story ever and fff :D

Also slight trigger warning for implied rape AGAIN oh man it gets so much worse hahaha

Next movie on my list of "horrifying things that I want to give a shout out to" is Audition. If you've never seen it...You are a very lucky and unscarred soul.

For those of you that have...then think of a genderswapped version of the man in the bag.

You're welcome.

Anyways, WAH WAH WAH CALL THE WAAAAANGST MOBILE wow I'm a bad person. But yeah haha there's a bit of wangst on Mar's part here. I WANT OBLIVION WAAAH VEXEN WON'T LOVE MEEEE

I can't help it, it makes me laugh. And I WROTE it. He's just a drama queen. ^^;

Anyways, the mission you've been waiting for shows up next chapter~ Complete with Princess of Heart to match. :D I love Alice seriously. ^^

So yeah, that's about it. I hope you enjoy this chapter~ ^^

Don't own.

Dedicated to your therapy bills after the next bit of LarxLex. Wow, you're gonna rack up a lot, is all I'm sayin'.)

* * *

Marluxia was strong. He was not going to cry. There was no reason to cry. He had no heart to feel the acute singing pain that clawed at his soul. He was not going to cry. He could not cry. No reason to cry. No reason.

He slumped on his bed, buried his face into the pillow, and burst into tears. He couldn't help himself; they were great, honking, wretched sobs that made his throat convulse and shriek in protest as he wailed with agony. It was just a temporary setback. It had to be. Vexen would still love him. There was no way he could abandon him forever. Vexen wouldn't. He loved him. He wanted him. He needed him.

Marluxia prayed for it to be true as he decided to forsake going to breakfast, (how ironic, he mused, that he was becoming like Vexen), choosing instead to sob himself into an exhausted, pained sleep.

...

Vexen had stopped thinking every since he had sent Marluxia away. Shutting his brain off was easier; with that, he couldn't focus on what he had just done, or what he had just said. If he didn't think about it, he couldn't cry, because there would be nothing to cry about now. He just had to stop thinking. He had to stop.

He went up to breakfast like a condemned man, barely registering anyone else's presence as he sat down at the table. He ate, but it all just tasted like sawdust and glue in his mouth. He could only think of the rose that he had left on his table, and the man who he had just broken. But he couldn't think of it, couldn't, it would only hurt...don't think of it...but...

"Vexen?" Xemnas' voice startled him out of his stupor. He managed to meet his brother's eyes, and he could immediately see concern reflected in them. He winced. No, no reason to worry. He steeled himself and managed to give his brother a quick smile.

"Yes, Xeh. Forgive me, I just awoke a minute ago." He replied. Xemnas nodded, but he certainly didn't look convinced. He sighed softly.

"Ah, well then. At least Marluxia's getting you to sleep." He teased. Vexen nodded, but at the sound of his name, pain lanced through him, leaving him writing and bleeding sweetly on the tip of hurt. He betrayed none of his hurt as Xemnas continued. "Anyways, I need you to go on a mission to Wonderland today. Just explore and study, all right? Report back on the Heartless when you're done." He murmured. Vexen nodded, standing up and leaving without a word.

All five of the remaining Apprentices shared a knowing glance with each other. They knew he was hurt. They just didn't know why...

...

Larxene awoke the next morning to Lexaeus standing at her doorway, hair mussed and eyes bleak and bleary with sleep. He managed to give her a gentle, encouraging smile, despite the exhaustion that was clear in his eyes. She blinked, sitting up in bed and watching him.

"Good morning, Larxene." He murmured. "Did you sleep well?"

She shivered, shrugging her shoulders.

"I think so." She replied. "At some point, at least." She amended. Lexaeus nodded, clearly relieved.

"I talked to Xeh." He told her. "He's assigning us a mission for tomorrow instead of today. We're going to Halloweentown." He explained. "Are you sure you'll be up to it? If not, I swear that I'll fight him to a standstill if I must. Your safety matters more to me." He murmured.

She was quiet for a second, fiddling with her blankets. Once she spoke, it was soft and hesitant, but it filled Lexaeus with a painfully blissful rapture.

"You'll be there, though, right? And you'll keep me safe. I know it." She murmured. Lexaeus could only nod, unable to speak. She gave him a quick smile, and for a minute, he would have sworn he could feel his heart beat.

He could only smile back at her, unable to confess his adoration and worship of her, before sitting by her bedside. She made no move to flee, which he took as a sign of progress. "What would you like to do for the rest of the day, Larxene?" He asked, voice soft and hushed. She chewed her lip in thought, tilting her head back and staring up at the ceiling.

"Well, I heard from Xigbar that if you sit in the library long enough, you can get a chair there. So we could go sit and read for the day. I'll make dinner with you too, if you want." She offered. Lexaeus almost visibly glowed with joy, no matter how false the emotion might have been; damn it all, with her, it could feel real. It had to feel real.

"That would be everything I could want for the day." He said, voice open and honest. She tilted her head, blinking in confusion.

"Really?" She murmured. Lexaeus watched, confused, as she pushed the blanket down slowly, revealing her pajamas. Her legs were open, and Lexaeus cursed himself to the darkest depths of hell for stirring ever-so-slightly at the sight. She closed her eyes and leaned back, inching out of her pants and revealing just the slightest glimpse of skin. He choked for a minute, before he finally managed to gasp, "_Larxene-"_

_"_Do you want a taste?" She asked, voice soft and innocent and pleading, so sweet it made Lexaeus absolutely sick. "He says I taste like a slut, which is why he bites. He gets sated when he bites, and I get to purge the whore's blood from my body. Tit for tat." She murmured. "Go ahead, Lexaeus. Eat me all up. It won't hurt too much. And if it does, I deserve it."

He could only watch himself and hate himself as she pulled down her panties, giving him just the slightest, most fleeting glimpse of those wonderful, perfect blonde curls, and _he had to stop this. _It ended _now._

"Larxene." He said quietly. "You and I are going to sit in the library and read. Then? Then we are going to make dinner. If you so choose, afterwards, I will go out into the garden with you and Marluxia. I do not want to have sex with you in any way, shape, or form. You are not a whore, Larxene, and I would die before I treated you like one. _Do you understand?" _He finished, voice strong and commanding. Larxene stared up at him in shock, trembling and shaking like a sick child. He knelt in front of her, on his knees and praying that this display of submission and servitude would be enough, because to see her in such pain was killing him.

"We ought to get dressed." She said. "We've got a long day ahead of us, huh?" She teased. Lexaeus stood up, shaking his head and blinking back tears.

"Yes, Larxene." He replied softly. "We most certainly do."

He left without another word, leaving her both confused and with a sense of fullness and purity she hadn't felt in years.

* * *

Marluxia was alone. He didn't care. He didn't care about a single solitary thing. All he wanted was to hide.

So he did.

He sat among the flowers in their greenhouse, (the greenhouse he would never come back to, he mused), letting them drape their vines and leaves and flowers over his skin, soothing him with their caresses, chittering in their own languages, loving tongues and gentle gestures for their emperor, lost without his empress.

He couldn't stop the tears. He hated them for falling, but they ignored his orders to cease and continued on in delicate little rivers that traversed lonely roads and unkissed skin. Marluxia just let them fall, after a time, and curled up to sleep as the flowers murmured to him. He could not fade into the ultimate darkness, but sleep's embrace was close enough at this point. He just wanted oblivion.


	98. Orange

(NOTE: no their arc is not over. It will never be over. You are silly for thinking the arc will ever end.

/jk it's gonna end in like another fifteen-twenty chapters with luck/

Anyways, lol Alice. She's a British Osaka. And I love her.

HAHAHA I'LL HAVE OFF TOMORROW knock on wood. We're supposed to get a ton of snow tonight. :D

Anyways, right, KH CODED TODAY

And uh stuff. Right, so Vexen sort of gets his feelings straight. SPOILERS: He doesn't.

Anyways, unicorns are awesome. That is all.

And yep, that pink stuff? Taffymeat.

Ugh, I hate to do this, but I have to apologize.

Look, I know I don't focus on the "family" a lot, as a friend pointed out to me. I know there's not really a lot of anyone else right now, and I know it seems to be dragging on and on and on, and I've been trying to update daily for exactly that reason. And I'm sorry.

But look. I plan on this being a thousand chapters. We're only at ninety-eight. There is going to be so much time for them to grow and blossom as a family and as something entirely separate from the normal KH canon. Please cut me some slack; I try really hard to get updates out as often as possible, and like I said, I know this isn't easy, and some of you are bored, and some of you probably think Marluxia is a creepy stalker who needs to get over himself, and think I'm doing a terrible job with this romance arc. I'm incredibly sorry. I really am. But writing this isn't a job or anything for me; it's just fun. And I want it to keep being fun, not stressful; I don't want to worry about cramming shit in just for the sake of having it there. If I put too much on my plate it's only going to hurt the overall project, and bring down the entire quality.

So there's a lot of romance now. And I'm sure some of you hate it. But eventually? There will be family. There will be fun and friendship and all that rainbow crap. I'm in this for the long haul. The question remaining is if everyone else wants to stick around with me.

Annnd that's about it. Don't own.

Dedicated to the little angel statue on my desk. DON'T BLINK.)

* * *

Vexen sighed, sitting on a giant toadstool and feeling both alone and quite mad.

He had screwed up this time. He had screwed up so badly that he wasn't sure if he could even fix it. He had called...he had said...oh god, Marluxia...

_Why do you care? You hated his guts anyway. Be happy that he's out of your life, fool, and get on with being alone. It's all that you deserve._ A painfully bitter voice in his head reminded him. Vexen swallowed, looking away as if the gesture would be enough to shake the voice from his thoughts.

He could still feel the guilt though, and the self-loathing. At this point, honestly, he was feeling more without a heart than he ever had with one. Was that love?

He shook his head. No, Marluxia couldn't have been right. He couldn't love a man like Marluxia. This tugging feeling was just a simple instinctual reflex, and there was no need for it to exist. It had nothing to do with emotions. It had nothing to do with what he so desperately wanted and needed. This was not love.

But even if it wasn't, it was close. He shivered, looking away and up at the clear pale blue skies of Wonderland. The sky was blue here today, rather than purple or orange or potato. He took this as a good sign. The last time it had been potato, and nothing had ended well. (Though it had been delicious.)

He sighed, dragging his mind away from his tangent. He really had to stop coming here. All it was doing was screwing him up, and the last thing he needed in his current state was a mind game.

He continued on deeper into the woods, watching out for Heartless as he observed the trees. Some were made of glass and filled with fish, swimming in the sap; others were white and glowing like photo negatives. Still others bobbed and swayed, bubbling with an odd pink substance that Vexen instinctively drew away from as he continued on along his way.

Marluxia was probably in tears. He had actually managed to hit the man where it hurt. He should be happy...but what kind of man rejoiced in another's tears? No man, only a monster. Vexen had fought so goddamned hard not to become a monster. He had beaten the darkness and taken it into himself. He was not a monster, and no matter what happened, he would never be.

"Ah, hell." He muttered. "I really did screw up." He shook his head. Did it matter? How did he ask for forgiveness? Did he want it? Could he really admit to himself that maybe...just...maybe...

If the tugging went away and he got his heart back, what would remain? He had learned so much as a Nobody. He had grown even closer towards his brothers, helped them grow and adjust to their lives. He had raised them up and watched them fall once before, but he had refused to let it happen again, no matter how much of himself he had sacrificed. Wasn't that love? Even if the feeling wasn't there, that was an act of love and devotion. He was certain of it.

So...perhaps, even without a heart...there could be such acts of selflessness and care. The fragments that made them human...those were the good things. The things that kept them real. Was that what Marluxia was doing? Trying his best to stay whole. To stay human and real.

Even if the feelings weren't there...this...sensation was. And it...it was enough for Marluxia. Vexen swallowed. Was it enough for him? Was that tiny promise of something grand and wonderful and perfect worth throwing away his dignity and his sanity, worth sinking down into the deepest depths of intoxication and intricate arousals and brilliant delights of love and life and light and _oh Shiva fuck yes Marluxia was worth it _

Marluxia was worth _everything._

The thought hit him with the force of the universe standing up and personally slapping him across the face. He could only slump against a purple tree that dripped with pale pink flowers as he stared blankly in shock.

He had done it. He had actually gone and done it. Marluxia had made him care. Marluxia had made him want and need and desire.

Marluxia...

And after all he had said...there was no hope of getting him back. It didn't matter what he realized, not now. Marluxia was gone forever.

Vexen buried his head in his hands. He had lost him. He had thrown away the precious ice rose he had been so lovingly gifted with, and it was all his fault. All his fault...

_Marluxia..._

Vexen wept. He couldn't help it. First he was a failure as a brother...then a failure as a scientist...then now a failure as a (perhaps-sort-of-maybe) lover. Failures did not deserve to stifle tears. They could weep like wretched, pathetic fools.

He buried his head into his arms and curled up against the tree, desperate to hide. He didn't deserve to go back home. He would live among the trees now, and make himself into a wonderful sculpture of ice, to warn others of the consequences of freezing your emotions...or something equally melodramatic. He wasn't going to be picky, not when he was so swamped by misery.

He was startled out of his misery by the sound of soft shoes against brittle blue grass. He looked up in curiosity, only to meet a pair of blue eyes so painfully like Marluxia's own. He would have wailed in misery, except thankfully, once he took in the rest of the new face, she looked absolutely nothing like Marluxia. Her face was wide, open, innocent, and gentle; her hair was soft and blonde, and it bobbed about her face despite the hairband supposedly keeping it in place, and her lips were quirked in a curious, hesitant sort of smile. He couldn't help but smile back; something about this girl compelled him to do it.

"My name is Vexen. What might yours be, child?" He asked. She continued to stare at him, her eyes wide and curious. He raised an eyebrow. Was she really human? Perhaps she was a living mannequin. He wouldn't put it past this world.

"I'm an orange." She announced.

Vexen really didn't know what to say to that.

He just smiled wanly, trying not to meet the lunatic child's eyes. "I see." He said, watching as she picked up a small orange caterpillar and put it on top of her head.

"He's a tiara." She said fondly, patting the fur on his body. "Only when he spins a cocoon and blooms, he'll be a crown!"

"Is that how that works?" Vexen mused, surprisingly unsarcastic. Really, in Wonderland, that would be relatively sensible. The girl nodded.

"Yeah. Sometimes they turn into unicorns though. I've been trying very, very hard to get one to bloom into a unicorn. I like unicorns. They are machines of _war._" She said cheerfully. Vexen raised another eyebrow. His forehead was starting to hurt from raising his eyebrows so often. She clapped her hands together.

"I'm Empress Dowager Alice Babushka Orwell Pumpernickel-Bread Darkness Dementia Raven Way Potato-Skin Peanut-Butter-Banana-Splits Goldwyn-Mayer Belldandy Superwoman Ramalamabang-bang the Umpteenth, Princess of the Nickelbottom Clan, High Lady of the Toodlewats, King Kong of the giant Centipedes, Ruler of Sugarbottom Buckwheat Mountain, and Very Serious Person." She said nonchalantly.

Vexen just stared.

A small mouse next to her sighed. "Forgive her, sah, she's a bit loony. She's th' Queen, so I guess it's appropriate. She's taken quite a shine to yeh, tho'; normally she doesn't ever tell visitors her full name."

Alice nodded vigorously. Vexen sat up straighter and took her hand, kissing it properly.

"Forgive me, then. I wasn't aware I was in the presence of a queen." He replied. Alice just laughed.

"Aw, don't worry. I don't chop off heads." She said, pulling him to stand up straight. The Dormouse tugged on the hem of his coat.

"Would yeh like t'come back for tea with us? If she's taken a shine t'yeh, it'll be a load offa the Hatter an' the Hare for tea to-night." She pleaded. Vexen blinked.

He really didn't have anything else to do. Besides...Marluxia would be happier to know that he had eaten.

He bit back a small sob, but Alice seemed to know he had become morose, for her head snapped up and she stared at him for a moment with attentive, narrowed eyes. He shook it off and gave them both a small grin of reassurance.

"It would be lovely. I humbly accept your invitation, my lady." He replied. Alice nodded.

"Good." She said. "You can be my noble steed."

Vexen blinked.

Wait, what?

Before he could register what she had done, she had leaped up on top of his back, clinging to him and situating herself comfortably on his shoulders. He sputtered, but she was already pulling on his hair and laughing with glee.

"He's a unicorn!" She said. "Just the noble steed I've been looking for!"

This was not happening. This was not happening.

"Onward, unicorn!" Alice yelled, using his hair as reins. Vexen winced with pain. No, the screaming agony in his scalp had just told him that this was, (sadly), very, very real.

...

Alice was certainly enjoying her ride back to the Hatter and the Hare's, and while Vexen wasn't exactly enjoying it as much as she was, at least it helped him think of something other than Marluxia. Unfortunately, that something had ended up being the kind of something in which a little girl rode your around as her "noble steed" and kept trying to kick your ribs to make you go faster. Frankly, he would have rather had the romantic dysfunctionality, but at this point, he didn't really have much of a choice.

He sighed with relief as he heard the Dormouse yell, "Oi! Alice! This way! We're almost there!"

Alice groaned. "I don't want to go to tea-time. I want to ride my unicorn." She grumbled. Vexen groaned.

"Well the unicorn would very much like his tea-time, so the unicorn is riding right on over to the tea table." He muttered. Alice blinked.

"I thought unicorns ate normal horse things like grass and sugar cubes and rainbows." She said, confused. Vexen sighed.

"Well now unicorns eat pastries and buttermilk biscuits. We. Are. Going." He snapped. Alice giggled.

"Yay! Onward to the gates of victory, then!" She said, tugging on his hair once more. Vexen grumbled under his breath and moved forward, wincing in pain when Alice nudged him and yelled, "Trot faster!"

The Dormouse watched them pass and just raised an eyebrow. "Eh, better 'im than I." She muttered, following after the two of them with quick, quiet pawsteps.


	99. Give In

(Ugh, sorry for not updating. Week stress has burned me out pretty bad. And hell, I'm taking a quick break, (no more than three days) from OGC. Never fear, though! I'm starting, (well okay finishing up) a story I had started like last summer and just kind of...forgot about. It won't take much longer; I know how everything goes and what to do. I just kinda wandered off from it to work on OGC. ^^; It's just like, OGC is the only thing I've worked on for about four months. That wears a girl out, y'know?

If I haven't replied to a PM you've sent me; ugh, I'm sorry. I'm working on it. ^^; Please bear with me!

Also seriously Alice=love. Love love love. She's going to have to show up again because love.

ADORABLE FLUFFY CUTENESS. That is all.

So that's about it. Yes I'm boring today. Sorry! D:

Don't own~

Dedicated toooo...kuu, everyone!)

* * *

Vexen was finally allowed to rest once Alice arrived at the tea table; she jumped down and patted the top of his head before calling, "Hatter! Oh, Hatter! We need sugar cubes for my unicorn!"

Vexen sighed and sank into a mismatched chair. She was really the only other person he had ever let boss him around...apart from the man who he would not think of, because even thinking this much about him hurt. He didn't realize it, but Alice was still watching him, eyes wide with interest.

"I'm not a unicorn, you know." He finally said, watching as Alice sat across from him, looking up into his eyes. Alice nodded.

"Oh, I know that." She said, in what was perhaps the most lucid tone she had taken with him so far. "I was just pretending. I'm the queen. I can pretend." She said offhandedly. Vexen sighed.

"So then, why did you come to tea?" She asked, handing him a delicate pink cup. He would have tossed it aside for reminding him too much of Marluxia if she hadn't been giving him an oddly knowing look at the time. He sighed.

"Because you asked me to." He replied. Alice snorted.

"No, not really. Everyone comes to tea-time because of something inside them. Something they need sorted out. And it's a lot easier to sort yourself out when the whole world is crazy." She told him. Vexen snorted.

"No it's not." He muttered. Alice rolled her eyes.

"Yes, it is." She replied.

"No, it's really not-"

"I'm the queen. Don't you dare argue with me." She said, tapping him on the nose with the rounded edge of her spoon. Vexen huffed, rolling his eyes back at her. She stuck out her tongue primly, discreetly kicking him under the table before looking away innocently.

"So then, what's the problem?" She asked, leaning forward on her elbows, enraptured. Vexen looked away, unsure if he really wanted to divulge anything to her. The last time one of them had confessed their issues to a Princess of Heart, Xaldin had ended up in a dress.

_But he did get Luxord back. _A tiny voice reminded him. _After all, wouldn't you do anything for Marluxia? _Vexen winced. He hadn't been expecting anything to involve wearing a dress, and Alice didn't seem like the type. No, she would more likely glue a horn onto his head and tell Marluxia to try riding him.

He shuddered at the thought reflexively, not noticing the odd look Alice gave him. He sighed, schooling his expression and getting his thoughts under control before containing.

"I screwed up really bad and now the man who I think I might sort of have some sort of vague possible feelings of what you might call affection for now probably really hates me." He inhaled. "So I went on a mission and came here." He murmured. Alice nodded, which gave him the incentive to continue. "Our sort of kind of possible maybe might be a relationship might possibly be almost sort of slightly ruined. Forever. And even though he's tried very hard to make me respond to his affections, I just...I just can't! I'm not strong enough yet...I'm just..." He shivered.

"I've focused on defending myself and protecting other people. To go after what I want...It's an entirely new sensation for me." He sighed. "I've been very focused on my brothers' wants and needs. And now that they all know how to get them for themselves...I feel useless. Like a cheap add-on to their lives." He shook his head. "And...and I don't know how to find my own life now."

Alice wrinkled her nose, deep in thought.

"Well, I don't know what to do about that. But it sounds like you're mistaking family for responsibility. You raised them, so now you have the right to sit back and enjoy the fruits of your labor. They're fine men now, right?" She said. Vexen nodded. She clapped her hands together. "Then you need to let them be men. They're not boys anymore. It's like...when a bud bursts from its seed." She murmured. Vexen smiled. It was a beautiful metaphor, and oddly appropriate -

"And then turns into a giant firebreathing dragon you can use to hold enemy kingdoms hostage for all their money and women." She finished.

Never mind.

Vexen couldn't help but smile, however. "You certainly have a way with words." He replied. She just shrugged.

"Words are like peaches. They're fuzzy and shaped like butts. And sometimes they make people giggle." She said. "Although I like nectarines better."

It took all of Vexen's self restraint not to laugh.

Alice continued on, unaware of his amusement. "You see, I tried to please my parents and my sister quite a lot. But then I came down here and realized that if people who care about me really do care, they will want me to put my wants and needs first. If they're your brothers, they'll understand." She said. Vexen nodded, looking down into his tea.

"I...I suppose." He murmured. Alice nodded.

"Of course you suppose. Suppose is for suppers, and right now, we supper suppose. You see?" She said.

Vexen didn't see.

"Of course." He said smoothly. Alice nodded sagely.

"Anyways. About this man..." Her eyes got wide. "Is he a witch? Because this might be all because of black magic. You know, all that bad juju and stuff." She tsked. "That ol' black magic, y'know." She said. Vexen shook his head.

"You're about one letter off, dear." He muttered. Alice tilted her head.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing. It's...nothing." Vexen told her. Alice just smiled wanly as Vexen continued.

"He's not a witch. He's just...he's Marluxia. He's an idiot, he's pushy, he's stubborn, he's arrogant, he's immature, he's possessive, he's lecherous, and he's...absolutely, utterly, disgustingly _infuriating!" _He shouted.

Alice stirred her tea.

"So you love him quite a bit, then." She replied nonchalantly.

Vexen groaned.

"Is it that obvious?" He grumbled. Alice smiled.

_"_Only a little." She responded. Vexen just snorted. Alice continued on like she hadn't heard him. "You see, the problem is that you're just trying too hard. Love is one of the easiest things to do, aside from eating, sleeping, breathing, or killing a man."

Vexen started, looking sideways at her.

"What was that last part?" Vexen asked.

"Breathing." Alice responded. Vexen sighed.

"Of course it was." He muttered. Alice just giggled.

"Vexen, listen! Love really is easy! You just have to give in!" She said, gesturing to her friends. "Once I realized that this place wasn't really so crazy, and in its own way, it was actually perfect and special...I got much happier. I didn't just survive in Wonderland; I lived and thrived and enjoyed my life. And it sounds to me like you're stuck in something new and crazy, and you don't know how to do much but survive. Well, I have a solution. Give in. Give in so it can be perfect and wonderful and special." She told him.

Vexen's lip curled and he shivered with fear.

Give in? Give in after all the time he had spent fighting for himself, fighting to retain his humanity, his sanity, his whole being? He had standards! He had things he would not do, and giving in was one of them! _He was not a monster! He would never give into the darkness!_

"I can't give in! I survived the darkness by never giving in! and I won't give in! not now not ever! I can't give in! I can't become a monster!" He yelled, standing up and shouting, unaware of his own rage. Alice seemed unperturbed by his rage, and settled instead for continuing to sip her tea. Vexen snarled, taking her silence as condemnation.

"I have fought-fought for _years-_to give my brothers strength, and to keep my family together- and to give in after all this time would be pointless! How- how can you sit there and tell me that I should give in to a man who had chased me into a corner, just because of a fleeting notion like happiness- a notion, I should tell you, I cannot even feel! I am a scientist, a brother, and a surrogate god damned father! _I do not give in!" _He roared.

Alice just shrugged. "Some things are good to give into." She replied. "Some things that we give into are what stop us from being monsters." She murmured, setting down her tea. "Vexen, you can be a scientist, a brother, and a surrogate father all while being a lover. That's never stopped anyone else who has managed it from doing such a thing. And denying your love for someone merely sets a bad example for your brothers." She gave him a stern, severe gaze.

"I'm aware I'm quite mad. But I've accepted the love that people have offered me and been much better off for it. What about you? 'Specially since you're sane? Since you're not mad...?" She said. She tried to be strong and firm, but Vexen could see the slight slump of her shoulders and the sheen of tears gathering in her eyes. He stood up and came over to her without a word, holding her in his arms and stroking the top of her head.

"You're not mad, Alice." He murmured. "You're a lovely, intelligent, wonderful, and quirky little girl. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise." He whispered. "I know smart children when I see them." He laughed quietly. "I dealt with Ienzo for long enough."

Alice nodded. She didn't say anything, but the tight hug she gave him in return spoke absolute volumes. He didn't ask for her to respond any further, either; he just hugged her back when she shifted, and sat down beside her when she beckoned for him to do so.

"Go home, kay?" She murmured. "Make him happy. I...I think everyone deserves to be happy." She told him. Vexen nodded.

"I suppose they do, Alice." He murmured. She managed to give him a watery smile.

"Will I see you again?" She pleaded. "It's so nice to talk to someone new."

Vexen gave her a comforting embrace. "Of course." He murmured. "I'll be back once this is all sorted out. I promise."

She pulled away and held out her open hand. "Pinky swear?" She asked. Vexen blinked, floored for a minute. Once he managed to gather his senses about him, however, he took her hand in his and made the oath.

"Pinky swear." He replied.

Alice watched as he left the table and walked away, disappearing into the forest as the branches rustled and shook in his wake. With a small smile, she set her tea down and got up, running back to her friends and hugging them all tightly.

"Alice? Whatever is the matter?" The Dormouse asked, her whiskers twitching as she looked up at the young princess. Alice shrugged.

"Nothing." She replied. "Nothing at all..."


	100. Teacup and Saucer

(And yet their arc isn't over. Entirely. Sort of. It's out of focus right now for Larxene and Lexaeus' arc, so y'know.

ONE HUNDRED CHAPTERS wow god I'm old.

I guess it's appropriate this has a nice little resolution to it for the 100th chapter. I feel special. :D

Stalkercat still stalks me and is actually sitting on my lap right now. ^^; FROM YANDERE WITH LOVE.

Also speaking of Yanderes, Marluxia is basically like eighty-five percent yandere. OOPSYDAISY. Although Vexen needs someone that possessive, he's just...Vexen.

Anyhoodle, yes yes regular update schedule blah. I might publish the first chapter of the mermaid fic today or tomorrow...

And ughhh writing the rapeytastic mindfuck of the next LarxLex arc is gonna suckkkk why do I do this to myself OH RIGHT CLOSURE.

OHWELL IT WRITES NOVELS.

Also in proving I have no life whatsoever I spent my weekend on tvtropes. Look, do I judge you?

Also now stalkercat has realized she can sit on my shoulder. Just. Great.

She's like a kitty pirate. Aww that's actually cute.

Also um well I had a train of thought but whatever.

OHRIGHT FANART. Man if anyone did draw any, let me know, I wanna seee. :D

Mmkayses, don't own KH~

Dedicated to Riza because omfg I love your present merry christmas honey~)

* * *

Vexen came home and looked out at the sky. It was almost night-time, and he wrinkled his nose in annoyance. Wonderland had an odd concept of time, so the fact that it had been the whole day didn't bother him too much...however, it meant that he couldn't get to what he wanted in person. He sighed. He would just write a note...hopefully it would be enough.

He went down into the lab quietly, sighing with relief as he saw that he was the only one inside. He snatched a notebook up off of the shelf and scribbled down a hasty note before summoning a small portal of darkness and tossing it in, knowing it would reach Marluxia's room. He would have delivered it himself, except he was unsure of his welcome, and waking Marluxia up in the middle of the night was not a good idea, especially right now.

He shook his head and steeled himself. No, he wouldn't think of what he had done. He would focus on what he had to do in the here and now.

He disappeared into the darkness a second later, letting a small smile grace his lips, if only for an instant.

...

Vexen worked all through the night in preparation, pulling everything together and making sure everything was arranged just right and done to his expectations before he brought it out to the garden, working as quietly as he could to ensure he wouldn't wake anyone up while he moved everything around, setting it all up for the morning.

Finally, at around three in the morning, he surveyed the garden and found it to his liking. He smiled wanly and disappeared again, heading down to his room to rest until morning came...and hopefully brought Marluxia back with it.

...

Marluxia awoke the next morning with a small groan. He didn't want to get up, he really didn't...after all, Vexen would probably be back from his mission or whatever he had been doing yesterday, and he wasn't really sure if he could stand the other man's presence, not now...

He sat up in bed anyway, determined not to let the rejection ruin him, (at least, not yet.) He started slightly as he heard a soft rustling sound, until he looked down and realized that the rustling had been from a small paper ball that someone had tossed on his bed. He quirked an eyebrow and opened it, curious to see what, if anything, it had written across it.

_"Meet me in the garden at noon. I want to apologize. -Vexen."_

Marluxia put the note down. He stared at it for a long, slow, quiet minute.

With a soft shuffling of the blankets, he hid back under them so he could sob, (in happiness or in sorrow? He wasn't sure) in peace.

* * *

Time passed quickly, considering how late the both of them slept that day. Before Vexen knew it, it was high noon and the garden was still empty. He fidgeted at the table, nervous and unsure as a teenager out on their first date. He winced. This was a date, in its own way, whether he liked it or not. All he really wanted was for Marluxia to show up, even if it was just to yell at him and storm off...

There was a soft chittering and squeaking among the vines as they parted. Vexen managed to find the courage within him to look up as Marluxia walked in, standing at the threshold.

"Hello, Vexen." He said, after a moment of silence. Vexen swallowed.

"I missed you." He confessed. Marluxia raised an eyebrow. Vexen looked away for a second before holding out the small cup and saucer he had set down. "Tea?" He offered.

After a second's consideration, Marluxia sat down, curiosity written across his features as he took the cup and lifted it to his lips. He sipped it for a moment before he smiled in pleasure. "Chamomile and vanilla. My own personal tastes, dear?" He teased. Vexen nodded, not properly meeting his eyes.

"I..." He swallowed. "I wanted to share this with you. So before we talk, can we just enjoy this?" He gestured to the tea set around them. "This was all for you. I...I wanted to perhaps atone at least slightly...for what I said..." He trailed off. Marluxia nodded, giving his hand a quick, comforting squeeze.

"We will talk, Vexen." He promised. "After we enjoy this." He finished. Vexen nodded and sighed softly with relief as he picked up his own coffee and silently enjoyed the moment.

The two relaxed in peace, neither of them saying a word as the plants around them sighed and hushed with delight, swaying with delicate joy at seeing the two of them reunited. Marluxia had an ever-present smile on his lips, even as he tilted his head back to observe the ceiling of delicate vines. Vexen was just as pleased, albeit not showing it as openly. Nevertheless, he didn't resist at all when Marluxia reached across the table to take his hand.

"So. What is it that you wished to talk about?" He asked. Vexen put his cup down and sighed. He had known the moment would have to come, but he was still nervous about how to communicate his thoughts to the other man. He shook his head. It had to be done.

"I...what I said..." He looked away and sighed. "What I said, regardless of how I feel about you, was awful. But aside from that...I had a talk with a young girl. Alice...well, let's just call her Alice." He muttered. Marluxia just watched him silently. "Anyway, she is a Princess of Heart. And no, before you ask, I did not end up in a dress. I ended up being a unicorn." That managed to get a small, quick smirk of amusement out of Marluxia as Vexen continued.

"But she and I, despite her numerous oddities and quirks, actually managed to have a serious conversation. And...I believe that some of what she said was correct." He sighed. "Namely, that I should focus on my own happiness, rather than worrying about my brothers, who have grown up to become fire breathing dragons that I can use to hold countries hostage for their money and women..."

Marluxia actually inhaled his tea, trying (and failing) to discreetly spit it back out as he gave Vexen a mixed look of shock and hysteria.

"Was that verbatim?" He asked, coughing as the tea dripped onto the grass below him. Vexen nodded.

"I did say she was rather odd." He reminded him. Marluxia shook his head, amazed.

"At any rate, we had another interesting conversation..." Vexen sighed, stirring his coffee as he looked away and bit his lip. "I have spent most of my existence trying to stay human. To remain a man rather than become a monster, a puppet of the darkness. Giving in was never an option. I fought...I fought until my last breath. And I fought against things that perhaps, this time, I should not have fought..." He shrugged. "Given the circumstances, I found "giving in to love," to be a misnomer, but...she was right." He sighed. "Some things we have to accept to keep the monsters out. I...I suppose..."

Marluxia waited with bated breath as Vexen looked him in the eyes and gave him a small, tentative smile.

"I suppose you're one of them." He murmured. "Marluxia..." He shook his head. "You are indeed fascinating. You are a powerful presence in my life, and...and I find that I like having you there more and more." He inhaled softly. "Thank you. I...I'm glad you're here. With me."

Marluxia was quiet. Vexen winced, starting to get slightly edgy from the silence.

Without a word, Marluxia stood up and hugged him tight. There was no forceful, lustful kiss, or firm, demanding grope; Marluxia hugged him tightly with nothing but pure and simple affection in his gesture. Vexen flinched for a minute before he actually snuggled slightly into the embrace, laying his head on Marluxia's shoulder.

"I'm glad I'm here with you too." He murmured. "I am a very lucky man."

The two broke apart after that, but there was no animosity between them. In fact, Vexen gave him one last smile before they left the garden, their cups sitting side by side on the same delicate saucer.


	101. Graves and Cages

(Writing this damn near killed me. Let me just tell you that so you understand something, kay?

This was possibly the most hell I have ever put myself through while writing something. I did not do this without purpose; this is, in my opinion, one of the best things I have written lately. But holy shit. I went through hell. I mean, like, knock down drag out hell and pain and weeping and agony and it HURT. It hurt SO MUCH to write this.

So yeah. I know you're all antsy for updates. I apologize so very much that I couldn't give them to you. But I just finished this after two weeks simply because it was too traumatizing and painful to write.

So there's no snark. Nothing. Sorry guys...

Also H.B.'s being Mr. Freeze so if I don't pm-respond it's because she hates me atm. Sorry...

Just a warning; M rating for the next two chapters. Please don't read it if you've been raped or are easily triggered by those sort of things. I'm begging you.

Don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Dedicated to one of my best friends, Bri. She is just a lovely, wonderful person, and is a wonderful editor and supporter who helps me work out my ideas and write the best possible fic I can. Love you so much.)

* * *

The next morning was a quiet, peaceful one; such an oddity was normally treated with a mix of awe and suspicion in the castle, considering it was usually signifying the calm before the storm. However, considering the reason for the quiet was that everyone was still asleep, there wasn't much to worry about...at least, not yet.

Lexaeus yawned, cracking open one bleary eye to glare at the world. Normally, he was at least slightly better off as a morning person than his brothers, (especially compared to Dilan, who would sleep until three in the afternoon if they let him, and Braig, who not only slept for that long but _snored), _but this morning was a bit more dire than most. He was going on a mission with Larxene...a mission, that, if not done properly and with great care, could lead to her being hurt or mentally scarred beyond what even he could repair.

He sighed, sitting up in bed and blinking sleep from his eyes, shuffling to the closet and throwing on a jacket and pants, still bleary-eyed and grumpy. No, this wasn't shaping up to be a very good morning, and worrying about Larxene just made it worse. He sighed again, running a brush through his hair. He would simply have to stay strong. He would stay strong for her, and make sure that the mission went well. Protecting her came before everything else.

He shuffled blearily down the hall to wake her up. Perhaps if he was lucky they could share breakfast as well, and enjoy the quiet morning together.

He knocked on her door, not really expecting a response. To his surprise, the doorknob clicked and she opened it, standing in front of him in her coat, all ready to go. She gave him a small smirk as he raised his eyebrows.

"We're going on a mission, Lexaeus. I ought to be ready, huh?" She teased. "Did you just get up?"

An annoyed grunt was her only response, but she knew full well what it implied, and she was laughing the whole way down to the kitchen.

...

The two of them ate quietly, peaceful in their pleasure as the day broke around them. Larxene sipped her coffee as Lexaeus finished his toast, and as he looked up to see her standing beside him, he felt his chest ache at her beauty. He managed to restrain himself to a simple smile as he beckoned to her, watching as she followed behind him without the slightest hesitation. He couldn't help but smile in unrestrained delight; the victory, however small, meant so much to him that for a second he really thought he could feel.

Larxene came to stand by his side, her perfect, petite stature in stark contrast to his massive hulk. However, she didn't seem to mind; in fact, there was a small smile on her face as she patted his shoulder with the delicate, airy touches of a faerie.

"Can you stay close?" She asked. "I get scared in the dark."

Lexaeus couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

"You've never been frightened at night before, Larxene. Are you all right?" He asked. She shook her head.

"Different. I had Marluxia, or you, or somethin'. I had the lightning...and..." She rubbed her shoulders, looking around hesitantly. "The darkness is different. The darkness is wrong. I don't...want to go in alone." She murmured.

Lexaeus was quiet for a minute. Then with a soft sigh of amusement, he took her hand in his and bent to kiss it, pulling away to look up into her stunned emerald eyes.

"You will never be alone, Larxene." He promised. "Not as long as I am here."

She nodded, unable to speak. The only thing she could do was hold his hand tight as he summoned a Corridor of Darkness and the two headed into the portal, still together as they disappeared into the darkness.

* * *

Halloweentown always had the grim sort of edge to it that kept Lexaeus on his toes. However, with Larxene trembling in obvious fright beside him, he had even more of a reason to prepare himself for a battlefield.

The darkness was quiet as they walked through it. Her hand was still in his, and she was clenching his hand so tightly that he was worried that she would break her fingers. He didn't say a word, however, letting her hold on to him as tightly as she needed to, especially given the circumstances. He settled for gently patting her hand, guiding her through the darkness into Halloweentown's opening portal.

Larxene kept her eyes wide and alert, as if she was searching for something. Whatever that something was, Lexaeus wasn't sure, but the mix of hatred and pure and absolute terror that reflected in her eyes unnerved him more than he cared to admit. Nevertheless, he stayed by her side, Skysplitter drawn and ready as they stepped through the portal and into Halloweentown.

Their dark cloaks made them impervious to the "costume changes" of the world; Lexaeus had to admit that he was rather grateful, considering if he ended up looking monstrous, Larxene would probably panic. He sighed, shifting his jacket around his broad shoulders before turning to face Larxene.

"Are you all right, Larxene?" He asked. "Are you sure you can do this?"

Larxene nodded, her eyes sharpening and her jaw set with determination.

"Yeah." She replied, drawing her knives as lightning crackled and fizzled against her skin. "I can do this."

Lexaeus smiled, beckoning to her as the two headed down the cemetery path, keeping an eye out for the opening gates of Halloweentown.

They walked together in peaceful silence for a time before Larxene interrupted, asking, "Hey, do we have a real mission objective, Lex?"

Lexaeus blinked, coming to his senses in time to recall the Superior's words. "Mm. We do, actually; there's a beast called the Leechgrave that's been going around lately, eating anything it comes across- including the Heartless." He murmured. "We're supposed to defeat it."

Larxene grinned. "Good." She replied, baring her teeth in a warrior's smile. "I could use the exercise."

Lexaeus wanted to ask her if she was all right, but he wasn't sure how to properly approach the situation without making her think he believed she was a coward. He sighed. The only thing he could do was stay by her side and protect her, but that...that was enough.

The two of them finally reached the gates of Halloweentown, staring up at the wrought-iron spires that were rusted and bent with age. Lexaeus pushed the gate open with one hand, letting Larxene walk through before him as he swung it shut and loyally followed behind her.

They made their way through the square, unnoticed by the townsfolk and left alone by the Heartless. Lexaeus could see that Larxene was still on edge, and he knew that having her wound up right before a fight wasn't a good idea.

"Larxene, if you like, we could go home through Twilight Town and stop for ice cream on the way." He mentioned, keeping his voice casual, as if he wasn't worried about her reaction at all. Her head snapped up and she turned to face him, tensing for only an instant before giving him a look of wary compliance. He soothed his sore temper by reminding himself that it wasn't him she feared, but even then, that look of fear scraped at his rage more than he cared to admit.

"Mmkay." She finally said, relaxing slightly as they moved out of the square and away from the townsfolk. Lexaeus gave her a warm, accepting smile, hoping it would be enough. She gave him one in return, patting his hand and squeezing it tight for a moment before darting off, waiting for him to catch up to her.

He caught up quickly, moving to stand by her side as the two of them headed out through the dead, dry forests of Halloweentown. Larxene sighed, stretching out like a cat in the noon-day sun as she ruffled her hair, tugging on one of the strands thoughtfully.

"Does anyone know where this thing is? I mean, are we going to have to track it, or is it going to come find us?" She asked. Lexaeus shrugged haplessly.

"I'm afraid I can't answer that question; the Superior said that it remains largely immobile, but considering by all accounts, it resembles a coffin, camouflage would be more than simple in a place like this. We will simply have to be on our toes." He sighed. "Aside from that, there is the matter that it eats other Heartless. All we have to do is find the areas with the thinning populations of Heartless, and we will have found our Leechgrave." He told her. Larxene nodded, looking up through the bare skeletons of the trees to stare at the balefully yellow moon, fat and heavy in the midnight sky. She wrinkled her nose and looked away; the sight made her almost physically ill. She couldn't understand what sort of appeal this place held at all.

"How much farther can we go out, Lexaeus? This just seems to be trees and dead earth." She shook her head. "It's disgusting."

Lexaeus sighed, kneeling down to touch the earth. He crumbled some of it under his fingers and nodded. "You're right. It is dead. As for how much farther out..." He bit his lip. "This is just a theory, but perhaps the dead earth is another clue towards finding the Leechgrave. If it has no Heartless to feast on, perhaps it would sap nutrients from the land as well. I can try to find it through the earth, if all else fails." He offered. She nodded.

"Give it a shot. You ought-" She was cut off as she heard rustling, the bone-branches of the bare trees rattling dully in her ears. She turned around just in time to see a flicker of pale pink and blonde hair out of the corner of her eye. She tensed, turning around to look at the empty forest.

"_Bitch_." She seethed. "Get the fuck out here."

Lexaeus turned to look at her and tensed with shock, slightly worried at her new volatile mood. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but she didn't seem to notice him or anyone else. Her eyes were filled with pure and utter hatred, almost real enough to count as true emotion. He reached out to touch her, but pulled his hand back at the last second, having thought better of it. He watched as she stood in front of the edge of the forest like a predator on the verge of striking, her whole body tensed and ready for attack.

Another flash of pale, pale pink; the pink of hot, wet flesh, the pink of bitten, beaten flesh, the pink of pale lips bit to shreds-a soft giggle. There was a flash of gold and another soft giggle reached her ears. Murmurs. The wet slap of flesh against flesh.

"Hello."

And there she was.

Relane giggled, clasping her hands together as she stood in front of Larxene. The front of her pink dress was torn open, knife wounds apparent all across her chest. There was a river of blood trailing down her leg, and a bright blooming crimson stain across her left breast. A string of pale white pearls were looped around her neck, and they clacked against her skin as she waved gaily at Larxene.

Larxene snarled, drawing her knives. "C'mon, bitch." She taunted, beckoning for Relane to come closer, daring Relane to fuck with her, "c'mere and fight. Fucking coward." She hissed. Relane just smiled, shaking her head.

"Wouldn't want that, now would you?" She purred. "You know if we're fighting and husband gets angry, you'll go back into the crate again. Do you want to go back in your cage, Larxene? No, no...of course you don't. So you behave like a good girl. You get on your knees. Husband's coming." She teased, turning to flee. Before she disappeared into the woods, she tipped her head and winked at Larxene before streaking off into the dark woods, giggling with gruesome delight.

"Fucking _cunt!" _Larxene screamed. "Get the _fuck _back here and fight me, you miserable piece of shit bitch!" She roared.

Lexaeus had been staring in shock, unsure of what to do or say, but the second Larxene tore off into the woods, he snapped back to life and knew he had to move. Without another moment's hesitation, he bolted after Larxene, trying his best to keep pace with her as she bolted through the woods, screaming the raw war cry of a predator.

...

Larxene was only vaguely aware of the bitter, screaming cold as she tore off after Relane throughout the dying forest. The only thing that mattered to her was hunting that bitch down and making her pay for all the suffering and the hurt and the bleeding and the hands and the lies. If she couldn't make the Beast call in the debt, she would hunt down that frightened little bunny and tear her to shreds for letting herself be such a dumb fucking bunny in the first place. Someone had to suffer.

She slowed her pace down slightly. She had to be aware of where Relane was. She had to pinpoint her location so she wouldn't go streaking off after her like an idiot and leave herself vulnerable to attack. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, listening for the rustling sounds of human feet.

There was nothing. Not even the softest of frightenedfoot skitters. No creeping pitterpatters signifying the Beast was home and out for blood and a hole to fuck.

Larxene swallowed, grasping her knives for comfort. She was really alone. Relane was somewhere else in these dead-and-dying woods.

She crept forward, painfully aware of how loud her footfalls were in the creeping silence. The silence was pressing in on her like the dark wet walls of a cold tight hurt-cage with no doors and no light, pressing on her like the tight hot feeling of her own naked flesh against her, leaving her crammed and trapped inside a dark tight hurt space with her head between her legs and the stench of whore making her want to throw up but there was no food in her rotten wretched whorebody to throw up anyway.

Larxene was so close to breaking down. So close. Except for the light of the malignant moon, the whole place was dark. As much as Larxene hated that swollenbelly moon, she drank in its light as a way to keep herself from breaking down in the darkness. It was her screams he wanted to hear. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

Her head shot up suddenly. She heard noises. Skittery noises, little pitterpatters on the cold dead earth. Noises of walking.

She swallowed again and summoned up all her bravado.

"C'mere, bitch." She whispered. "C'mere and fight."

More skittering. A soft giggle. The sound of claws.

A tree burst into splinters beside her, and she instinctively closed her eyes to protect herself from any damage. This was the first mistake.

A clawed tentacle, (tentaclaw how funny except not really), lashed out through the storm of splinterwood and grabbed her, tearing her coat open and exposing half of her pale, creamy belly before it dug its claw in deep and yanked her forward.

Her initial instinct to fight overtook her, and she sank a knife into its pale flesh that pulsed with red-purple stains underneath its sickly skin. It didn't seem to be affected by the pain, however, and continued to drag her across the ground towards wherever it wanted to go, leaving her trapped in its embrace with the rocks and sticks of the dead-earth scraping against her sides as she hissed and spat with the pain.

Her next move to attempt to get it off of her was to sink her fingers into it, digging her nails in deep and drawing blood. It did not slow the tentaclaw down but instead seemed to encourage its quickening movement; it dragged her faster now, skittering off deeper into the dying woods as she tried her best to fight it off.

At the next knife-wound, it seemed to realize that her hands were a problem, and thus, the loose portion of the claw wrapped around her wrists, keeping them bound as it kept on its destination. She screamed and spat, legs lashing out in an attempt to kick it away, which simply prompted it to to hold on tighter as they finally burst through the woods and stopped abruptly in front of the swollen, hideous malignant moon.

Relane stood on top of a stark black coffin; vaguely, she recognized the Heartless emblem on it, but she had stopped being able to think clearly due to the screaming pain in her side. Her other self cooed, her tattered pink cocktail dress stained further with blood as she leaned down to caress the throbbing, pulsing bulbous head of the thing the tentaclaw was attached to.

Larxene could only stare dumbly, unsure of what to do or say in the face of the monstrosity. The other three tentaclaws, pulsing, hideous monstrosities that they were, skittered across the dead earth until they found their fallen brother, pulling it close as Larxene was left to stay limp on the ground. Relane laughed, patting the three tentaclaws on their turgid lengths as they bobbed up to grasp at her hands for approval.

"Do you want to fight, Larxene?" She purred. "Do you really want to fight? You know that naughty girls who fight back go into their cages. And yet you still face us..." She mused, hiking up the torn skirts of her dress slightly and leaning down to look at her.

Larxene managed to stand, giving Relane a look of absolute disgust as she drew her knives.

"You're not going to catch me, frightened little bunny." She spat. "I'm the hunter now, you cunt. And you better start fucking running."

Relane just laughed, letting the Leechgrave pulse and groan with life as the Heartless stood on its claws. One stayed off the ground and began to reach up, up past the Leechgrave's body and around Relane's ankle, skittering up her thigh like a curious child with its seeking little curiousclaws and sneaky touch, snaking up to caress her neck and pull her hair before she took it in her hands and swallowed the claw, letting it force its way down her throat and force her to her knees as the other three tentaclaws began to throb and twitch as Larxene stared in a mixture of disgust and horror.

The leechgrave slowly began to retreat from Relane's open mouth, coming out with a slick, shiny heart in its grasp. Relane just laughed, holding it aloft like a mother holding her child before taking it and pushing it back against her breast, where it collapsed through her flesh and into her body before disappearing into it with a soft, wet slurping sucking sound.

"What a nice gift." She murmured. "And you always say thank you for good gifts." She stroked the tentaclaw again as it trailed slowly down from her neck with its sneaky, clever touches and went for her thighs, spindly little curvyclaws reaching and reaching until they had torn off the bottom half of the dress and tossed it aside.

Larxene finally managed to gather her senses together and lash out at the other three tentaclaws as the fourth tore Relane apart, shoving itself inside of her and pulsing and throbbing so hard it almost burst. Relane was screaming, and Larxene couldn't pinpoint whether it was from pain, bliss, or fear. Probably all three...

The other three tentaclaws began to grab at her and nip at her flesh, their skittering little claws harsh and unforgiving against her skin. She snarled, reaching out to stab them with her knives, lightning racing down her arms in crackling, hissing screams of bursting light as they sizzled over the tentaclaws and began to fry them, their crackling flesh serving as the incentive for Larxene to keep lashing out and stabbing.

Relane held up a trembling hand and the Leechgrave lurched forward into the darkness, the other three tentaclaws responding to its movement by going for the easy target and pouncing on Larxene's ankles. She thrashed and kicked, but there was nothing she could do; three of them was too much for her to fight off, and they had little suckermouths that fastened themselves to her skin and began to pull her in, pull her in deeper and deeper and deeper and

"You've been so bad, Larxene..." Relane purred, and in that moment, her voice was that of the Beast, "...back in your cage you go..."

The tentaclaws swallowed her before she had time to scream.


	102. Our Sun Is Rising

(It's funny, really; the second I stopped writing this hell, I was like on fire with new thoughts and ideas and I wrote for hours. This was the muck stopping the dam and finally my thoughts broke through...

Anyways, I hope you like/are horrified by this. I want this to be worth it.

M rating once again...

Lexaeus is so badass. That is all.

Yeah I have no snark once again. Sorry guys. I can't make this any better for you...

Anyways, H.B. is being quirky but I'll do my best to update something happier soon. :)

Don't own.

Dedicated to everyone-all of you, because of all that I've been writing and making you go through.)

* * *

It was so dark in the box. It was so very dark. It always was.

She had done something bad again; something silly and inconsequential, like forgetting to dust the vases or maybe she hadn't cleaned the oven right. But whatever it was, it was bad enough that she had to go back into her cage.

He was never gentle; he didn't bother to pretend it was anything but punishment. He would make sure she didn't have a shred of clothing left on her, and that her stomach was growling with hunger and her throat was painfully dry before he tossed her in, shut the door, and locked it.

The cage was a room, really. It was a room under the stairs. The only problem was that the room was so tiny the only thing that could fit in it was a black box with holes scattered around it. The only thing that box ever did was sit there, gathering dust.

Unless Relane was very bad and very naughty. Then the box served its real purpose.

She was locked in the box and the box became home. The box was dark and small. She would sit in there for days...no clothes, nothing to hide the shame from her when she was sweating and trembling in her own filth and tears, and nothing to throw up when the stench became overwhelming because she had no food to give her aching hurting body. There was no water for her either, leaving her throat like a desert by the second day.

Sometimes she was only in there for half a day. Sometimes a whole day. Two days even. Three days once when she'd been bad and hadn't swallowed. He had made her sit in there like a whore, with her head between her legs and the overwhelming stench of filth and sweat and tears and girl haunted her and made her retch until she was puking up blood because her body had nothing left to give. Then he had dragged her out on the dawn of the fourth day. That time? That time she had swallowed.

The box was always so dark and lonely. She had given up thinking while she was inside it, because the only thing her mind would let her do was scream until her throat was sore and bleeding, begging for her to stop simply so one part of her wasn't in hideous agony.

If he did let her out early she would go into the bathroom and drink from the faucet, just because getting a glass would have taken too long. She would eat herself sick and pass out, trembling and shaking, on the verge of vomiting as she collapsed on the kitchen floor.

She would wake up back in the box the next morning, especially if she did throw up and made a mess.

After the Beast had fallen, the only thing she did before she lost herself to the darkness was take that box outside and set it on fire, making damn sure she had spat on the ashes before finally letting her heart give way to the darkness.

But this time, the box had come back. Briefly, she wondered if the box had lost itself to the darkness too, and that was why the Leechgrave had eaten her. She shivered, curling up in a ball. She knew what she had to do.

"Open your eyes." She whispered. "C'mon, open your eyes..."

She couldn't. She was so scared. She just couldn't...

_Open your eyes, Larxene._

She opened her eyes this time, only to find her own eyes staring right back at her.

She screamed, lashing out a fist to strike the wall of the Leechgrave. The only response she got was a gigglish moan from Relane.

"Like what you see?" She cooed. "Of course you do. I'm you." She purred. Larxene opened her mouth to protest, but clamped it shut at the last second, feeling bile rise in her throat.

As Relane's giggling became softer and more high-pitched, Larxene watched as the dark walls of the Leechgrave began to pulse and change color. Creeping veins of human flesh began to branch all across the dark surface, looking so much like her own skin that it took all of her strength and will not to vomit as it slowly began to overtake the darkness of the Leechgrave, becoming the pale rosy flesh of her own body. She closed her eyes for a second and inhaled deeply.

No need to open her eyes now. She knew where to hit.

Larxene sank her knife deep into the flesh of the Leechgrave, listening with pleasure to the hideous scream she received in return. She didn't stop, pushing deeper and deeper, sinking her knife in as lightning crackled and flashed all around her, helping her force her way out until finally the Leechgrave gave way to her attack and she fell out onto the dead earth.

She sighed with satisfaction as she drew her knives and turned around, not wanting to give her opponent even a second's worth of advantage. Once she finally did turn and see what the Leechgrave had become, Larxene almost wished she hadn't.

The dark walls of the Leechgrave were beginning to split and become human flesh, so much like her own that it made Larxene almost sick. She watched as the trembling creeping flesh veins made their way up the Leechgrave and covered it entirely, reaching across the claws and covering them in the same papery uncannily human flesh. The claws became hands and feet; Larxene shuddered at the barest human approximations as they twitched and writhed.

As the flesh continued to creep up the Leechgrave, Larxene realized that it looked quite a bit like her; the small indent for a bellybutton and the fleshy nubs hanging from the top of the Leechgrave seemed like a child's attempt at a woman's chest, and it made her close to physically ill simply from looking at it. She swallowed and shivered as she realized the flesh had continued to creep up, and barely had time to adjust before she realized that the Leechgrave had stolen Relane's face and was now looking right at her with her own eyes.

She screamed as Relane giggled, her high-pitched glee drowning her out as she leaned down to leer in Larxene's face, twin emerald eyes meeting as Larxene reached out to find her knife and get away, fleeing from the hideous approximation of her own self as Relane laughed harder. Her grin widened and split beyond her face as she cooed with delight at Larxene's desperate scrabble for freedom.

She almost managed to reach her knife, save for her own hand fastening around her ankle and yanking her close, dragging her across the dirt again as the other hand reached up past her leg and to her core, so close and oh god fuck no this would not happen again _never again_

_"Back in your cage, Larxene!" _Relane cooed, lifting her up in the air and giggling, "_back in your cage, back in your cage, BACK IN YOUR CAGE-" _

Larxene watched as her own hand crept up to try to swallow her in its gaping black void, trying to teach her where her place was and shove her back in her cage and she just couldn't do it not again she _would not let this happen_

_Open your eyes._

Larxene reached up and stabbed Relane right between her eyes.

The harsh wail of pain and hatred was drowned out by her victory cry, but it didn't last long. The twin cries were taken over by a roar of the Leechgrave (or was it Relane at this point Larxene wasn't sure) finally recognizing real pain as it reached up to tear her apart.

...

Lexaeus hadn't been able to find Larxene for almost half an hour now. He wanted to be worried, but the dead earth around him was poisoning him and clouding his thoughtsl he couldn't move well or think at all, and everything around him was a hazy blur. Still he kept moving forward, focusing only on the thought of Larxene. Larxene. Larxene...

The hideous war cry startled Lexaeus out of the dim gray fog that was his thoughts, and as it did so, he realized he could feel the earth coming alive under his feet, sated by blood. It took him a minute to realize it, but the blood the earth was feeding off of was _Larxene's. _

_Her blood_

_She's _bleeding

His mind shut down again, and red exploded across his vision. The only thing driving him was his rage and the blood within the earth as he followed the pulsing, tugging pounding in his chest to find his Larxene.

...

Larxene was vaguely aware of pain, but it was all a big haze of pale white light as she heard the low, soft coo of Relane.

"Whore." She purred, spindly white-worm fingers touching and sucking at her skin. "Run, little whore. Unless you like being touched by your own hands?" The voice shifted- became the Beast. "Is my touch not enough to satisfy you?" He crooned.

Larxene didn't respond. She felt the hands clench tighter around her, but she didn't open her eyes. The Beast growled, digging the fingers even deeper into her flesh.

"Open your eyes and see what you've become, slut." The voice hissed. "Look at yourself and hate what you are."

Larxene hurt all over, but she would not give him the satisfaction.

"The only person I hate is you." She whispered. "And even then, a shit like you doesn't even deserve that much."

The Beast, (Relane? Leechgrave?), snarled and roared, and she felt a hand-claw rise up and leave her. She opened her eyes to watch it loom above her and prepare to strike the final blow. If she had to die, she would watch every minute.

...

Lexaeus was never really a man for words, and this was certainly not the time to deliver a cocky speech. The only thing he saw was his Larxene in pain, and that was the only thing that his mind could focus on.

So there was nothing to warn her. Nothing to warn the enemy, certainly. He hadn't been a warrior for nothing.

The only warning anyone got was when Lexaeus tore the tentaclaw off of her and tore it apart with his bare hands. Larxene slid to the ground, the pain of impact making her vision hazy and the world around her grow dark. She couldn't see what was going on, but she was grateful that the pain had stopped.

Lexaeus was beyond anger. He was furious in the deepest, most terrifying sense of the word, and the only thing that could have stopped him, calmed him and leashed the fury, was lying on the ground, half-dead from pain.

He was methodical. Lexaeus was never a messy fighter, and there were so few organs in a Heartless anyway. He did not summon Skysplitter. This was something he was going to do with his bare hands, simply to feel the satisfaction of something that had hurt Larxene writhing and dying in squealing agony as he clenched it tight, strangling the life from it.

The first tentaclaw was nothing more than shreds of flesh and darkness in his hands as he looked up to meet the rest of the Leechgrave. He didn't say a word. He simply reached out a hand and let the next tentaclaw attack him, evidently intent on avenging its brother.

Lexaeus tore it in two.

He was not as methodical this time; he pulled out the squirming, wriggling darkness inside the claw and crushed it, feeling the liquid dripping down his arm as he crushed it to pulp and tossed it towards the earth, letting the earth swallow it and crush its trembling wrecked flesh into nothing more than the faintest essence of darkness.

The next tentaclaw tried to be tricky and fight dirty; it dove for his neck and went for his eyes.

He took the claws and broke them off, one by one, before shoving them all down its throat and holding it steady until it choked, screaming its agonies behind the unyielding flesh of his fist. He removed his hand and tore the tentaclaw idly in two, tossing it aside carelessly as he faced down the last one.

It tried to run, perhaps understanding the fate of its fallen comrades. Lexaeus would have none of it.

He reached to catch it very slowly and with gentle, considerate care, almost as if he was holding a small child, before he took it in his hands and peeled it in two, skinning flesh away from the pulsing mass of the tentaclaw, literally skinning it alive as he threw it under his heel and ground the squalling, thrashing monstrosity under his boot and into the dirt.

He was very quiet as he faced down the Leechgrave; quieter than the earth before an avalanche, quieter still than a cave gone undisturbed since before the dawn of time.

He was more than ready for the Leechgrave. Let it come. Let it suffer enough that he could rejoice at repaying the pain his Larxene had felt. He would make it suffer, and he would let himself _enjoy it. _

The beast hissed, readying itself to strike. It leapt at him-

And Lexaeus punched through it, breaking past its defenses and throwing it to the ground.

It landed with a harsh thud, the gaping hole in it pulsing as if it still had life. Lexaeus didn't bat an eyelash; he simply reached in and gripped his fingers tight on the inside before tearing the lid off and breaking it in two.

He tossed one of the pieces aside after snapping it into splinters before he took the other and drove it through the Leechgrave again, digging his fingers into the new wound and splitting it open, causing the Leechgrave to crack down the middle and shatter into pieces.

He wasn't done, however. He took the biggest piece- the one with the Emblem on it- and slammed it over the ruined, twitching bodies of the remaining tentaclaws as it snapped, fading into a puddle of darkness with the rest of them.

He did not rejoice in his victory. Instead, he turned around and ran to his lover's side, kneeling beside her broken body and tilting her head up so she could look at him.

"Larxene?" He whispered. "You fought so hard, Larxene. You were so brave. You were so very, very strong." He smiled, realizing that tears were spilling down his cheeks as he wept with a mixture of joy, relief, and sorrow. "You are so very wonderful." He murmured. "You fought so well. It's okay, Larxene. You won. We did it."

He chanced to be brave enough to brush his lips against her forehead before he whispered into her ear, "Open your eyes, Larxene. Our sun is rising."

She did.


	103. The Man She Needs Me to Be

(Juggling writing projects for awhile, but I gave you this anyway. It's all I have left, so there might not be an update for awhile. My apologies...like I said, those two chapters took a lot out of me, more than I like to admit.

FTR, sort of M for mentions of tits and stuff, but hey, y'all have dealt with worse.

Lexaeus is pretty much the best person ever. Seriously, like, whoa. Holy bananasprites.

Ugh I still have exams on monday fml. D: Ohwell! After that it's all over~!

Don't worry, I've been working on other stuff too. So don't fret, kay?

Haha I just woke up this makes me so less witty. OOPS.

Although I will say that stalkercat wedges herself into EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY OF MY BODY JESUS CHRIST. She slept on my shoulder, on my neck, on my head, on my stomach, in between my arm and my chest, wherever she can reach! This cat is just...well, stalkercat. xD

Don't own~

Dedicated toooo eh, Stalkercat. How many cats have their own themesong?)

* * *

He carried her the whole way home, leading her through the darkness without a single word as they made their way through it, heading back for the World that Never Was. She had passed out awhile back, and he was keeping a steady check of her pulse and heart rate as he walked, trying to assess any damage he would have to fix. Certainly, she was going to need bandages and potions, but...

That wasn't all the damage.

He sighed. He wasn't sure what had happened, but he did know that something inside her mind had snapped, and he would have to fix it. He wasn't sure how to fix it, or where to even begin, but...he would have to.

He brushed a strand of her hair away from her forehead, making sure it was tucked neatly into place before he looked up and realized they were on the edge of the portal. He smiled and disappeared, realizing he had never been more relieved to see home.

The two of them made their way up the winding path to the castle, heading through the Hall of Empty Melodies and disappearing inside. Lexaeus looked around to see if anyone was nearby; from the sounds of it, they were all in the kitchen. He nodded, more to confirm the fact to himself than anything, and slowly made his way up the steps, careful not to jostle her or hurt her in any way.

He made his way to the kitchen and knocked on the door, hoping someone would respond and hear him over the banter.

...

Marluxia looked up from the table, halfway between bites as he realized someone was knocking at the door. He stood up and headed right for it, already realizing that there was a horrible, twisted sinking feeling in his stomach, and he didn't like it, not one bit.

He opened the door without another moment of hesitation, and almost had to scream.

Lexaeus walked in with Larxene's broken, bleeding body still in his arms, sitting down at the table and shuddering with a sudden burst of exhaustion. Marluxia didn't realize he had started to see red until he noticed that Graceful Dahlia was in his hands and thorns had started to burst from her handle.

"Who did it." He asked, his voice dull and flat, hiding pure rage. Lexaeus shook his head and stroked Larxene's hair.

"I believe it was the work of the Leechgrave. However...she ran off and we were separated. She was going to look for someone. I'm not sure who, but they certainly contributed to the damage." He replied. Marluxia nodded, shaking so hard he could barely stand properly, trembling with rage as his mouth formed a tight, pale line.

"I understand." He said, voice cool and clipped. "Take her down to the lab and assess her damage. Vexen!" He snapped, turning back to the blond. "Can you please go with him? You've patched up my wounds before." He reminded him. Vexen nodded, finishing what was left on his plate and following Lexaeus out the door. Lexaeus paused for a minute, realizing something as he turned back to Marluxia.

"Don't you want to come with us?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Marluxia laughed, little humor ringing through the harsh sound.

"If I continue to see her in such a state, I might start snapping necks. That...that wouldn't be any help." He finished. Lexaeus nodded, disappearing with Vexen down to the lab. Marluxia gave them all a slow, steady look before he disappeared into the darkness, presumably to wait for Larxene in her room.

...

Vexen didn't say a word as he followed Lexaeus down the stairs and into the lab; he knew his brother needed peace and quiet to gather his thoughts, and he didn't want to disturb him. It was only when they reached the lab and he laid Larxene down on the table with delicate care that he finally spoke.

"We should probably sedate her." He reminded him. "If she wakes up during this, she's more likely to attack us than anything." He sighed. Lexaeus nodded, gathering the necessary chemicals and filling the syringe, injecting it into her without a word. Vexen raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you're capable of doing this, Lexaeus?" He asked. "I'm more than willing to perform this by myself."

"No." He said through clenched teeth. "I am not leaving her side."

Vexen nodded, letting Lexaeus stay with her as he went through the medicine cabinets and gathered what they would need.

He set the bottles and tubes down, keeping a careful eye on his brother, trying to detect the normal tell-tale signs of Lexaeus' rage. There was nothing across his face that he could pinpoint, but he knew that Lexaeus would keep it shoved down inside himself for as long as possible. He sighed.

"Brother, are you all right?" He asked. "You know if you let your temper get ahead of you, there could be problems with taking care of her. If your temper snaps..." He trailed off, seeing something alien and possessive cross Lexaeus' face for a fraction of a second. He shook his head and took Larxene's hand in his with gentle care.

"It won't." He murmured. "I can't let it. I won't let it. I must be the man that Larxene needs me to be." He said, and there was such conviction in his words that Vexen backed off immediately. He shrugged. At any rate, he certainly wasn't one to talk about complicated relationships.

He handed Lexaeus the disinfectant and watched as he dabbed it across her wounds. He gave a wince of empathy as the froth bubbled and fizzed, dribbling on to the work table.

"Lexaeus, those wounds are absolutely _filthy_." He murmured, almost stunned by the degree of dirt and grime across them. "Did someone rub dirt into her wounds?" He asked, trailing a gentle finger down the scrapes. Lexaeus nodded.

"Close enough, at any rate." He responded. "The Leechgrave that attacked us used claws to drag her to its main body. I assume they weren't aiming to be gentle." He muttered. Vexen nodded, wincing as he inspected her chest.

"Lexaeus..." He murmured. "If she is as traumatized as you say, we could have a problem. Namely that there are wounds under this coat. The only way to heal her properly is to undress her..."

Lexaeus was quiet for a minute.

He sighed softly and shook his head. "Vexen." He murmured. "I'll do this myself. Go upstairs and enjoy your dinner with Marluxia."

His brother opened his mouth to protest, but Lexaeus held up his hand. "No. If she wakes up, the fallout from her terror will be immense. If you get caught in the crossfire, I will never forgive myself. I'll do this alone." He said. Vexen bit his lip, but didn't argue further.

He hugged Lexaeus tightly before disappearing into the darkness, leaving Lexaeus alone with Larxene and the medicines that would heal her. He sighed, picking up the scalpel and cutting the coat; it was ruined anyway, and he would have to get to the problem as fast as possible.

It fell away from her quickly, dropping to the floor in piles of leather and silver zippers that clacked against each other. He looked down at her fragile, delicate body, clad only in a shirt and pants, both of which were torn to shreds by the tentaclaws. He gripped the table and inhaled sharply in a quick attempt to choke down his rage until he could see clearly. Once his hands had stopped shaking, he took them away from the table before noting in amusement the fact that the metal table now had very distinct imprints of his fingers embedded inside it.

He took off her shirt first. He was gentle, careful, and very calculating as he removed the tattered remains and tossed them aside. He did not remove her bra; he would not leave her so open and vulnerable unless absolutely necessary. He slowly and carefully moved on down to her pants, inching them down delicately and setting them aside as he observed her carefully.

Large gashes were torn across her stomach, trailing down as far as the soft blonde curls that peeked over the edge of her silk panties. He looked away, ashamed of himself for even observing such a sight without her knowledge. He steeled himself with the knowledge that it was for purely reparative purposes, and he did not want her sexually. He looked at her arms; they were relatively unharmed in contrast to her torn up and bleeding hands, which were wrecks, presumably from fighting off the Leechgrave.

Her calves were mostly unharmed except for a few scant marks on her ankle from being dragged. However, her thighs had gashes leading all the way up from her knee to up past her panties. He shook his head, hoping they didn't trail up far enough that he would have to strip her naked. He couldn't do that to her. Wouldn't do it to her.

He sighed, unscrewing the jar of healing balm and daubing it across the cuts he had already disinfected. As he bent over to bandage them, he noticed that her bra was soaked with blood; he hadn't seen it before simply because of the black fabric. He cursed, the harsh sound of the swear resounding eerily in the silence. He shivered and shook his head; he would simply have to clean the blood up and heal her wounds, regardless of where they were.

He ignored them for the time being, however, and focused next on her ankle. He disinfected it with ease and wrapped bandages across it, making sure they were situated properly along her ankle before he moved up to her thighs. The gashes were so large that he could leave them to disinfect and move on to the gashes on her chest while they purged themselves of dirt and grime.

The first gash trailed across her stomach in a gruesome parody of a smile. He rubbed a gentle cloth over it, soaking it with disinfectant before stroking the balm over the bleeding grin, covering it up with a bandage as soon as he could simply to hide the bloody smile that seemed to condemn him for his failure to protect her.

There were three more gashes across her stomach, presumably from the three other tentaclaws. He shook off his disgust and continued on past them, disinfecting them and covering them with salve before wrapping bandages around her entire abdomen. She wasn't going to be moving around much for awhile, at any rate; if Xemnas tried to send her on another mission any time soon, he might strangle his brother, especially after what had happened this time.

He sighed, looking down at the gashes on her thighs. They were done with their cleansing, and now pulsed a hot, burning red that made him sick to look at. He knew what he had to do, but the thought still chilled him to his core.

He bit his lip and removed her panties, being as delicate and gentle as he possibly could. He was almost sick to his stomach by the time they had been removed, and her soft blonde curls had been revealed to him. The man in him ached to kneel in front of her and inhale her scent; the lover within him knew that he would simply have to wait. Her happiness mattered more to him than her body ever could.

He managed to smile slightly as he reached up to brush the salve across her thighs, being as delicate as possible along the massive wounds. He barely brushed against her lips before pulling away as if they had burned him, feeling filthy for even accidentally getting so close when she was so vulnerable. Once he had finished the salve, he bandaged them immediately, wrapping the wounds before he laid a towel over her lower body, giving her some modesty before he went for the last of her wounds across her breasts.

Once again, he was quick and methodical, gently disinfecting the scrapes and gouges across her breasts before rubbing salve across the skin, plastering bandages over them carefully before he realized with a sigh of relief that he was done.

He picked her up gently and disappeared into the darkness, heading back to her room. Just as he had expected, Marluxia was already there, waiting eagerly for their return. Lexaeus swallowed.

"I...I had to undress her." He confessed. "If she asks, tell her you did it. If she thought...that I saw her in such a vulnerable state...I don't know what that would do to her. I'd rather she believe she was safe. Even if she doesn't feel safe with me."

He couldn't help but close his eyes, trying in vain to stave off tears. "Please keep her safe, Marluxia." He pleaded. "She's injured. She needs rest, and comfort, and love. And if she can't have them with me, well...that's all right. As long as she is happy, I am happy." He whispered.

Marluxia didn't know what to say to such devotion. He settled for squeezing the larger man's hand and giving him a nod. Lexaeus seemed to understand. He gave Marluxia a watery smile before he knelt down with one swift, graceful bow, and kissed Larxene's forehead.

"Sleep well, my love." He murmured.

Without another word, he turned and left the room, shutting the door with a gentle click behind him. Marluxia looked down at Larxene and sighed, ruffling her hair gently before he got into bed beside her and read, waiting for her to wake up.


	104. Startime Seaglass

(I never update twice in one day. But today is special. It's a day out of a million days. I don't know…

Anyways, this is a stupid silly worthless and pointless fluff piece. I hope you don't mind it because of that…however, it's blatant wish fulfillment too.

You see, without extrapolating on my endlessly tragic and miserable past and all that jazz, I have…well, I have a family that doesn't like really giving me, like, anything ever. And ignores my help and insults me to my face and is responsible for my many neuroses about asking for things or receiving things. Just ask my friends, I turn into a sodding wreck when people try to buy me shit. Hell, when I just try to buy shit for myself I become this second-guessing wreck of neuroses and bananas. It's not fun at all.

Oh and there's other stuff. But ignore it for now.

So yeah. Demyx actually legit has those issues so I could use him as a conduit. Although it's rare that I really use my characters as wish fulfillment outlets for my own issues. It's just…

Well, H.B. is broken. She won't even turn on right now. I don't know what's wrong. And I'm sixteen and jobless, (which I was just blamed for and insulted about today, speaking of), so the chances of me paying to fix her? Slim to none. And my parents…well…they're the reason I've been driven to write this, eh?

Also it doesn't help I think I fought with one of my best friends today. Well maybe not fought. I don't know. But right now, no matter what I did, I am so fucking tired and miserable right now. Man, I fucking hate doing this to you guys. I'm so sorry. But I don't have anyone else to talk to so TIME TO POUR MY SOUL OUT ONTO THE INTERNET. At least I'm self aware of my own patheticness.

I find it hysterical and sad that talking to your inanimate objects is "pathetic fallacy." (Or giving them personalities or something, fuck if I remember.) And just, ouch, kick to my dignity much? "HEY YOU'RE PATHETIC AND YOUR LIFE IS A FALLACY LOL" ugh fuck you literature. You are a bitch sometimes I swear.

So yeah anyways, I just…I'm really sorry guys. I might not be able to update OGC, but I will hopefully be able to update Something to Sing About. And if I'm lucky she'll work and things will be nice and wonderful and nothing bad will happen.

Sometimes I just have to dream.

Anyways…well, I'm sorry. I love you all for reading this and sitting through this. Thanks, dears. You all mean so much to me.

Don't own.

Dedicated to Dub. You're my best friend ever and the greatest and I love you so very much.)

* * *

Demyx tossed and turned in his sleep. He wasn't normally such an ill sleeper; napping was one of his favorite things to do, and he had adapted to become a very deep, snuggled sleeper. But there was something inside of him that clawed at him deep and dark, sinking in until the whole world hurt like a stone in his throat.

There was a nice time sometimes; sometimes the shores would be still and he could go walking on the beach after a storm, picking up seashells and little bits of broken glass that glinted and glimmered and gleamed like the smallest of stars that would go skittering off into the sunrise each time it came up to greet him. And then there was a sad time.

There were hurting-bleeding-burning times. Times where there was nothing but the feeling of hot, greasy shame and condemnation, and the sounds of his own heart drowning in self-loathing and hopelessness. Those times outnumbered the sea-glass startimes. And those times hurt him so much.

Other children would ask for things. Sometimes he would see it. He would see one of them coming up to their mother or father and asking for something; a new toy, an ice-lolly, or a new outfit. The parents would laugh and pat them on the head before giving them what they asked for. He had always so wanted those sort of things.

"Not worth asking, Myde," his big brother would tell him, shaking his head and patting his little brother's hair down against his skull in a delicately crushing grip, "there are just things that kids like you don't deserve. Besides, when was the last time you worked for it? Be a good boy, Myde, and clean the house. Maybe then you can get what you want."

And he would believe him. He would always do what he wanted and make sure it was all perfectly wonderful and do his best. He would make everything perfect even when on the inside he could feel his heart hurting and rotting in his chest, and a sick feeling in his tummy like the days were endless grey and the whole world had its lights off.

But it was never enough. These sort of things were never enough. He would try so very, very hard, and it was never noticed, but…he had to keep trying. Each time, he promised himself that he would try even harder, but it never amounted to anything more than the ocean taking mercy on him every so often and giving him a startime.

So he would sit and watch the little girls and boys get everything they asked for and he would get so jealous. He knew it was a bad thing to be jealous, because that's what his big brother said that only rotten little kids who were too lazy to get what they wanted should do. They were just jealous of the good hardworking kids. And oh, he was. He could never say it, but it hurt him.

There were times when he would get something nice. A hand me down or half-used toy, a used book or beaten-up blanket, and he would cling to it with the desperation of a starving coyote holding on to the last supper of a condemned man, fingers digging in deep and heart holding it close. The broken down raggedy things became his little kingdom, his scepter and crown of the last things he had to hold on to; the broken glass not yet worn down by the ocean that became cutting shards in his hands.

He never wanted much anyway. He was not a greedy child, but if someone tells a person a lie long enough, they will believe it. Myde's heart was strong, but not that strong. There was only so much of the storm that he could weather. And sometimes he got so tired.

When those tired-days would happen, he would hold himself and rock back and forth, mimicking the call of the ocean, the soft siren shushing of the waves on the beaches of startime and seashells, and he would cry for hours and hours until he fell asleep with the ocean's salty sting dribbling rivers down his cheeks and Peggy humming mournfully in the moonlight.

Myde had been muted. Myde had been silenced and hushed and kept quiet for his entire life. And so Demyx filled the void of a life of silence with endless chatter; little cooing twitters, observations of things the world already knew, half-remembered songs hummed and whistled and chirped, and once he found out that his whole world had become a sea-glass startime, warm declarations of love that were like the sun, endlessly rising on the seaglass.

But there were some things that not even Demyx could figure out how to ask for. He was the horizon on the edge of sunrise; hesitant and cool and still beating with the night music that drowned out his own thoughts. He didn't know what to do. Instead of children now, he saw men—older, stronger, smarter, more useful and better and not-worthless men—who asked for things, and received them from their brothers or lovers, simply out of goodness and kindness and love-ness, heartless or not. And he knew that if he opened his mouth and said it he could get it just the same, from (brothers? Maybe-please?) and a lover, out of goodness and kindness and love-ness…

But for once the songbird fell silent. And Demyx never said a word.

…

Demyx woke up crying. He didn't know why. It was a lovely day; the sky was a pale, delicate lavender-navy-lilac, and the air in the room was cool in contrast to the warm blankets. He could feel his lover's body against him and his silky hair trailing over his shoulders, and he could hear his lover's comforting snores. But the tears still fell.

"I…I…" He murmured, throat and voice choked on the thoughts he wanted to express. He heard the soft rustling of blankets, and the snuffling snores soon changed to soft breathing. He turned over in bed to see Xigbar, his hair mussed and his single brilliant eye lit up with confusion.

"Mornin', kitten." He mumbled, burying his head in Demyx's neck. "Do you really want to get up? I could do with staying in bed for a few more hours. Or days. Or a month or fifty." He muttered. (Xigbar was not a morning person.)

Demyx swallowed. "I…I…I w-wa…I…" He shook his head. "Oh, oh Xiggy…" He murmured. Xigbar started, seeing tears in Demyx's eyes as his lover bit back a sniffle of misery. He brushed a strand of dirty-blonde hair away from his kitten's face and kissed his forehead.

"Hey, songbird." He murmured. "You keep singing. Tell me what's wrong, baby." He ordered. Demyx shook his head.

"S'nothin'…" He whispered. "N-nothing important…I don't…I can't change it. D-don't bother." He shivered. Xigbar shook his head and situated Demyx in his lap, kissing the top of his head and ruffling his hair.

"I'm your lover, kitten. It's important." He said. "And even if I can't change it, I want to know what's wrong." He finished. Demyx shook his head, and his voice fell to a very soft and tiny whisper.

"I…I want…" He closed his eyes and bit back tears. "Xigbar…I want…I want n-nice things. I want to deserve nice things. I want…I want to be so good that I c-can get stuff just by asking, like how everyone else does. T-they're b-better than me, a-and I guess that m-means they get it, b-but maybe I can change?" He offered, voice timid and hopeful as he looked up at Xigbar.

He started for a second, feeling Xigbar's fingers clench his skin as his lover shook with rage. Demyx opened his mouth to ask what the problem was, but Xigbar shoved him onto the bed and kissed him so hard that the two of them almost bled before he could say a word. Xigbar was ravaging his mouth like a starving tiger, and Demyx couldn't think of any other option but to kiss back.

It took a long, slow minute, but Xigbar finally pulled away to meet his eyes. His lover's single golden eye was wild with something Demyx didn't understand as he held him close and tight.

"Fucking hell, Dem." He whispered. "You're the cutest thing I've ever laid eyes on, but there are just times…" He sighed. "Fucking hell, don't you ever change, you hear me?" He murmured. "You're absolutely fucking perfect the way you are." He said. Demyx shook his head.

"Uh-uh." He replied. "Not good. Lazy and bad and selfish and I shouldn'ta asked because only spoiled brats ask…I…" He shook his head. "I just want…" Tears filled his eyes and Xigbar gripped his chin, tilting his head up so their eyes met.

"Whatever you want, Demyx, I swear to god I'll give it to you." He said, his voice serious and hushed as Demyx trembled in his grasp. "All you have to do is ask me. Just tell me what you want. I will give you anything, Demyx. You deserve the world, and I want to give it to you." He whispered. "You _know _that. You've loved me long enough to know that. Come on, songbird." He pleaded. "This is just a bad dream. This is just a memory you haven't conquered yet. Tell me what you want, Demyx." Demyx didn't respond, so Xigbar simply held on tighter.

"Come on, Demyx. You know it's okay to ask. We've been working so hard on this. It's okay to ask. It's okay to want things. I will give them to you, no matter what. But I can't do it unless I know what you want." He begged. "C'mon, Dem. Tell me."

Demyx nodded, hugging him tight.

"I want…I w-want…" He inhaled softly. "I want to bring you somewhere. I want to show you something. A-and then I want to come home and stay in bed with you. Is that okay?" He asked. Xigbar nodded, kissing his forehead and ruffling his hair.

"'Course, kitten." He replied. "Anything for you." He said. Demyx smiled as Xigbar followed him off the bed and into the portal Demyx conjured, letting the two of them disappear into the darkness behind each other.

…

Xigbar blinked, looking around at the world Demyx had led them to through the darkness. He hadn't ever been to a place like this before. It was like the whole world was situated inside of a conch shell; no matter where he went, he could hear the soft hushing of the ocean. Even the clouds above him seemed to hum with the ocean's breath.

"Dem?" He called. "Demyx, are you okay?" He looked around carefully for his lover, wincing in annoyance as he realized light was beginning to peek over the horizon. "Ugh, fuck, it's really early—Demyx? Demyx, where _are _you?" He asked, starting to get slightly nervous.

He realized with a start that he heard Demyx's soft laughter from all the way down the beach. He looked down to see Demyx, grinning like an angel and holding something that glimmered in his palms, cupped in them like the water of the world.

"C'mon, Xiggy, hurry up!" He called. "You're going to miss the star-time!" He cried.

Xigbar had no idea what his lover meant, but he wasn't really awake enough to contest him. He followed Demyx's path down the beach and looked down at the ocean again, realizing that the horizon was beginning to bloom with sunlight. Demyx was smiling with excitement and joy as he knelt down and scooped something into his hands, holding it out to Xigbar. The older man blinked, confused. It took him a minute to realize that Demyx was holding seaglass that shimmered in all the colors Xigbar could name, and quite a few that he couldn't. He took them from his lover as Demyx picked up some more, sharing it between the two of them as he smiled in delight.

"What's star-time, kiddo?" He asked, confused. Demyx pointed out to the horizon and the sun that had begun to rise up above it.

"Just hold your hands up and let the glass fall. 'Kay?" He said. Xigbar knew better than to argue, so he did as his lover asked and held his hands up, waiting until the sun had risen a bit more before he opened his hands and let the glass fall.

His breath caught in his throat as he realized that the seaglass caught the beams of the blossoming sun and sparkled like stars caught on a painter's canvas. Demyx was laughing, utterly delighted as the sun broke over the horizon and rose above them both in a burning brilliant spark. Xigbar shook his head in amazement.

"Demyx, you are something else." He whispered. "What the hell _was _that?" He asked. Demyx smiled.

"Startime. It's when the sun lights up the seaglass and everything is beautiful." He explained. "It was something happy. It was something good that I didn't have to ask for…and I wanted to share it with you." He whispered.

Xigbar brought Demyx into a hug and kissed him, being as gentle and delicate as possible as he held him close.

"You are amazing." He murmured. "I'm so glad that you wanted to be with me, Demyx." He said. "Don't be afraid to go after what you want, okay?"

Demyx nodded, nuzzling his neck and yawning. "Mmyep…" He murmured. "But right now, I kinda want to go back to bed and cuddle. Is that okay?" He asked. Xigbar laughed, summoning a portal on top of the seaglass for them both.

"Anything you want is fine by me, Dem." He reminded him. "Especially if there's cuddling involved." He teased.

Demyx nodded. "I want you." He murmured. "And I want you forever."

Xigbar nodded back, ruffling his hair as they came back home and fell back into bed.

"Ask and you shall receive, Demyx." He murmured, kissing him deeply before holding him tight. "Just…don't forget to ask, okay?" He said.

Demyx shook his head, and with that one small gesture, another poisonous strand of his old life fizzled out and fell away.

"No." He replied. "No, I won't."


	105. Like Shooting Stars

(Okay, so like, HB? Still not fixed. HOWEVER. I wrote another interim chapter that has some plot relevance so woo yay

Also to remind everyone that no, Axel isn't dead or anything. He's just searching for his Roxy-bang.

Saix normally doesn't get jealous, no. It's just that sort of frustration you get when you think that one of your friends is pushing themselves to the limit for something stupid. He wants Axel for himself, sure, but he really just wants the old routine of life back, where he could have both Lea and Xemnas without worrying.

And yes, he's an orphan. EVERYBODY'S A FUCKING ORPHAN WOO.

Although I figure it was just; messy divorce led to the two of them splitting up; neither one of them wanted to take Isa, so they left him behind and he just lived on the streets. Isn't that depressing? You're welcome.

And so yeah. More AkuRoku and stuff. AXEL FOLLOWS HIS NOSE WHEREVER IT GOES!

God I need to stop living with little siblings. Fucking commerical jingles.

Anyways, yeah, fluff and stuff, but there's some sort of plot too so you're welcome.

Don't know when I'll be able to update again. I'll try for something if by the end of the week I'm sunk for fixing. Sorry guys...:(

Anyways, don't own KH.

Dedicated to H.B. CMON BABY WORK.)

* * *

Saix was quiet as he moved throughout the castle. He knew that the others were most likely asleep, or on the verge of being so, and he should not wake them. He padded down the stairs and headed for the Hall of Empty Melodies, taking his time in making his way to the Altar of Naught. He had nowhere else to be; true, he wished to be beside his master in their bed, but that could wait. He had a task in mind, and it was more important than rest.

His coat skirted the marble floors like the robes of a priest, dragging in small, quick bobs with each step. He had put it on over his normal evening attire for warmth, and he was grateful for the extra heat. While the world was not cold, per se, there were times when there was a definite chill during the night. He chalked it up to the oddities of the void, shaking off the thoughts and focusing his mind as he made his way to the Altar of Naught.

He made his way up slowly to kneel in front of his mother-moon. His glorious Kingdom Hearts; the treasure he shared with his master. He looked up to bathe his face in her brilliant glow, her rays sinking into his porcelain skin as he closed his eyes.

He had to overcome the madness. To do so, he had to focus on what he wanted, what he needed, and divine.

He shut his eyes tighter and released a name into the darkness.

_Lea? _He called, feeling his thoughts become hazy with rage. He pictured his friend embracing a blond whose face he could not see, the two of them entwined in a shared passion. He could feel the snarl bubbling in his throat, and his mind was sinking back into the animal. He shook his head. He had to think of Lea. His Lea; the one who had taken care of him when his parents were gone, always making him laugh through his despair; the Lea who had made him enjoy the tinier pleasures, like staying up late to name the constellation for themselves, or catching fireflies and letting them crawl up your arm. His Lea, who had shared his ice cream when his stomach ached with hunger, and shared his love when his heart ached with misery.

Saix managed to focus, calling out his name again, sending it out into the darkness as far as he possibly could.

_Lea? Lea, are you there?_

All he received in turn was silence. The picture in his mind of his Lea and the blond blossomed again, brighter and stronger this time. He could begin to make out details; the angelic, fragile cheekbones, the small, upturned nose, and pale, pretty pink lips that glistened with Lea's kisses.

Saix could feel his claymore's comforting weight in his hand; his scar was getting thicker, and his hair was beginning to stand on end.

No. No, think of brave little Lea, always brash and headstrong and brilliant, like a burning candle that flickered and sparked with all the brightest colors. Think of him holding your hand and leading you wherever he wanted to go, taking you along for the ride and showing you all the little delights that made up his world. Think of that Lea. The one who would never betray you. The one who loved no one else but you. The one who was your only comfort and salvation in a world that hurt more than anything at times, a world of orphans and abandoning and darkness, and gave you a world of fireflies and ice cream and playing in the fountains. That was the Lea he wanted to find, more than anything.

_Lea? Come home, Lea. _

A pause. Uncertainty flickered through his thoughts. But he had to say it.

_Lea? Lea, I love you._

Silence.

A firefly died in his mind. The ice cream melted in his hand. The fountains dried up.

Saix saw the picture again, brilliant and perfect and real, and he hated it all the more for being so. The angelic blond whose face shone with the light of a million stars and eyes of the deepest, most powerful blue. He had stolen Lea away-the Keyblader-

_He'll never love you like I do, Lea! I'm your best friend! You _left me, _Lea! He can't love you! He has no heart! At least I remember! At least I know how I once felt!_

He wasn't aware of his thoughts spilling out into the darkness as he sobbed on the Altar, all berserker fury forgotten as he felt Lea slip further and further away, out into the streams of brillant stars and lucky white koi fish.

He gathered his thoughts together and banished his misery to send one last message out into the darkness.

_No matter what happens...no matter who you love, Lea...we are best friends forever. And nothing will take that away from us._

He opened his eyes and stood up, bowing to his mother-moon before leaving the Altar of Naught, disappearing into the darkness.

Nothing lasted forever. Saix knew that. He just didn't care.

For a second, before he left the portal, he could have sworn he felt a flicker of something in the darkness. A gentle, hesitant touch. It disappeared as soon as it came, and he brushed it off as he left the portal.

He reappeared back in his master's room and undressed as he came to the bed, slipping under the blankets and curling close against his master's broad chest, finding comfort and safety in his warmth and the shared tug between them.

In his master's arms, he found enough solace to cry, uncaring of the fact that it was just bodily reflex, rather than the tears of pure, true emotion. He wept until he fell asleep, exhausted and miserable.

Xemnas waited until he made sure that Saix's breathing was slow and gentle before he picked him up, cradled him in his arms, and kissed away all of the tears that had soaked his skin before stroking his hair and murmuring softly to him before the two of them both fell asleep.

* * *

Axel shivered, lighting a spark to keep him warm as he paced the shores of the small island, bare feet scattering sand across the sea foam and into the ocean. He had _heard _him. He could _feel _him. Roxas had to be here.

His bright red spikes shifted in the sea breeze as he turned around, hearing a soft rustling behind him. He breathed out, giving the empty space a nervous, tired smile.

"Roxas? That you?" He asked.

The palm tree that had rustled simply shook its leaves once more. Axel's stomach sunk again, and he shook his head with disgust, plodding up the beach and settling in on a overturned trunk that looked well-worn. Evidently, someone else had used it as a bench before, he mused.

He heard his stomach growl, and he winced in annoyance. He knew he should eat, but he had no munny, and on a place like this, there wasn't exactly anywhere he could snitch even an apple or orange from. He hadn't eaten in almost a week; he was surviving on fumes alone, and feeding off of the darkness when he got desperate, even if the feeling of the darkness penetrating his body gave him greasy chills. There were times where he just wanted to collapse; he ached all over, and he was miserable. He was tired, he was lonely, and he missed nightly card games with his friends, heading out on missions with them and getting a chance to fight-hell, he even missed needling the puppy-stealing bastard of a superior.

He sighed. The puppy-stealer had probably sunk his claws even deeper into his Isa, the bastard. He missed Isa so much that the pain almost felt real when he thought about his best friend, alone and probably feeling hurt and betrayed. He shook his head. He couldn't think about that. He had to focus on why he was doing this...the only reason he was pushing himself to the breaking point.

As he did every time his determination failed him, Axel closed his eyes and dreamed of stars.

Normally, he focused on Roxas' touch, the feel of his skin, the sound of his voice-all the things that he could identify him by. Other times he dreamed of the kiss Roxas had given him. Very rarely, it was as if he would get a flicker of acceptance and excitement, and he would feel so very close. Every time he felt like that, his eyes would fly open and he would look out to see-well, nothing. But even the hope was more strength and encouragement than the darkness could ever provide.

So Axel dreamed that Roxas would come to him.

And for a second, he did.

Axel felt the brush again-felt it stronger this time, felt it more real, reallyreal, delicate and soft like a butterfly wing against the side of his face. The light lit up his body and his eyes flew open as he vaulted off of the tree-bench and bolted for the sea.

Standing above the waves for the purest, most wonderful instant, was Roxas, bathed in the wash of the tides and the brilliant white rain of ocean spray and stars.

Axel inhaled, a soft gasping sob issuing from his throat as he bolted through the spray, unaware of the sea soaking into his thin black shirt and pants, chilling him to the bone as he dove through the waves in a desperate, clawing attempt to reach Roxas before the dream faded and he was alone.

Roxas lowered his hand-the angel leading the condemned man out of the wasteland-and Axel touched the tips of his fingers for the briefest, barest instant.

Then the dream died and Axel was left standing alone in the ocean, the light disappearing and following the sunset down into oblivion, leaving Axel to the darkness.

Axel went back to the tree and sat down again, waiting for his clothes to dry in the still-warm, balmy night. He had time. He could be patient. He didn't feel hurt anymore, or afraid. He knew that somewhere, Roxas was out there waiting for him in a city of stars, and he would find that place and take Roxas home before someone else could steal him away. He would bring his boy home and watch over him always.

A single shooting star screamed across the sky as Axel looked up in surprise. He watched it fall for a moment before sending up a small, brilliantly burning flame up to meet it.

Axel didn't usually wish on stars. But then again, he didn't usually spend his days out looking for the boy of his dreams, so he could make an exception.

He closed his eyes, clasped his hands together, and whispered one word.

"_Roxas._"

Somewhere, far away in another world, Sora looked up to see a shooting star. He didn't understand why, but for a second, a single tear slid down his cheek and fell to the ground, catching the glimmering light of all the stars as it went.


	106. Nothing, Really

(I'm so very sorry this hasn't been updated. Computer situation being what it is, I have no other choices. I'm really truly and honestly sorry.

Fuck, I'm so miserable right now. I don't even know. I don't know anymore. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, everyone.

Please enjoy this chapter. I know it's sad, but I just hope it's something good for you all. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

There's really nothing for me to say except I'll do my damndest to update on Valentine's Day with some cute stuff or whatever. I just hope you all have a lovely Valentine's Day, no matter what. :3

Don't own.

Dedicated to all the people who think they'll be sad and alone on Valentine's day. Don't worry. You'll be okay. There's always someone there for you.)

* * *

Larxene cracked open a single eye and stared at Marluxia. She tried to shift and sit up to hug him, but she stopped the second a screaming pain lanced through her side. She shivered with agony and whispered, "Marluxia? What's wrong with me?"

Marluxia started, not realizing she was awake until he looked down to see her. He sighed, gently stroking her hair.

"Nothing, Larly. You just got beaten up on the mission, remember? I bandaged you up and made sure all the cuts were clean. But you have to rest still." He said sternly. She snorted.

"Fuck you, flower boy. You got filleted by that dragon bitch and were flouncing around the castle by the next day." She muttered. Marluxia patted her head absentmindedly.

"Do as I say, not as I do." He replied. Larxene rolled her eyes and sighed, staying where she was anyway. She wasn't stupid. She had been beaten before, and she knew full well that she would be better off staying still. She snuggled under the blankets and looked up at him.

"So anyways, what did you do about Vexen?" She asked. "I know the two of you had an argument over something, so tell." She demanded. Marluxia's face split into a massive grin, and he nodded emphatically.

"Oh yeah!" He said cheerfully. "You see, we were just having a spat over the fact that Vexen was so desperate to find hearts because then the tugging feeling would go away, and he wouldn't have to deal with me, and all that other stuff he was complaining about. He was basically denying any feelings for me because he's, you know, Vexen, and..."

Larxene wasn't listening. All she heard was that if she had a heart, that lovely feeling she got around Lexaeus would go away. He had to have known. He worked with Vexen. He had known all along that the feeling would go away and he...he would...

"I told you he just wanted another tight hole to fuck, dear."

Larxene rolled over in bed to see Relane standing in front of her, in a brand new sparkling cocktail dress. She didn't react. She didn't know what to say. Relane just cooed and patted her head.

"It's okay. I understand. It must hurt so much to know that everyone wants to hurt you. Even if a slut like you deserves it." She tsked. "Can't even feel pain, can you? Don't know why you bother." She shrugged. "Husband might let you come home if you promise to be a good girl and sit in your box without screaming."

Larxene shook her head and tried to hide under the covers. It wasn't enough. She could still hear Relane's voice in her ear.

"Come on, dear. Your "best friend" just told you so. He doesn't want you. He only wants his heart. Look at you. Flat-chested foulmouthed little slut who is nothing more than a burden on everyone else. Why on earth would anyone want you?" She said, her tone mockingly soothing as Larxene whimpered. She continued on as Larxene tried to stifle sobs.

"Couldn't even fight off the Leechgrave by yourself. You're too much of a wreck to be any good at fighting; you have a breakdown every time anything gets just a little too scary, don't you? Constantly crying and whining and wasting everyone's time. Look at you. You could never be strong enough to get rid of me. All you can do is whimper and cry and beg that musclebound idiot to save you." She said, never changing her soft coo or gentle tone. Larxene shook her head.

"G-go away..." She begged. "Go away, go away..."

Larxene opened her eyes and turned over in bed to see Relane staring right back at her. Her mouth had been replaced by a bloody slit that pulsed and gaped in a smile that stretched from ear to ear, and her eyes were shining with amusement as Larxene screamed.

"Just one more hole, Larxene..." She cooed. "Just one more..."

Larxene threw herself out of bed and kicked Relane in the face, watching with satisfaction as she thudded to the floor. She didn't have time to rejoice in her victory; instead, she bolted from the room and ran down the hall, ignoring the screaming pain in her side.

Marluxia tried to follow after her, but she had already disappeared. He groaned and buried his hands in his hair, going downstairs to find Lexaeus and warn him before anyone else got hurt.

* * *

Lexaeus sighed in relief, digging through the refridgerator and smiling with delight. He had been lucky enough to find some leftover strawberries, and he could only hope Larxene would enjoy the surprise treat.

He heard a ferocious banging on the door, and he looked up, confused. Whoever it was, they sounded insistent, which was odd; last time he had checked, everyone was relaxing or out on a mission.

He went to open the door with the strawberries in his hand, concerned. "Hello? I-" He was cut off as he saw Larxene standing in front of him. He smiled warmly. "Ah. Larxene. It's wonderful to see you, but why are you out of bed?" He asked.

He was only being gentle, caring, attentive; the steadfast lover he dreamed of being. But after years of being broken, her worldview was fractured, and what she saw was the demand of a rapist.

"I told you, dear. I promised you. Just one more hole, one more pair of spread legs." Relane cooed, looking over her shoulder. The blood from her slit-mouth dripped down her chin and onto Larxene's shoulder as she turned to smile even wider up at Larxene, her grin stretching beyond her face as she giggled. "Just let it go, Larxene. Get your heart and come home to the only man a slut like you deserves."

Lexaeus watched as Larxene's whole body seemed to change; she shrunk into herself and her eyes were filled with confusion, terror, and pain. He reached out a hand to her. "Larxene? Larxene, whatever is the matter?" He asked quietly.

"You lied to me." Larxene said, her voice soft and flat, like the whisper of a dying child. Lexaeus paused, confused.

"Larxene? I don't know what you're talking about. Please explain." He asked, trying to keep his voice level, soft and slow, so as not to frighten her or agitate her. Whatever it was, it was already making him sick to his stomach. He didn't know what was wrong and it scared him more than he wanted to admit.

She shook her head very slowly, as if she was moving through stone. She was the picture of the numb shock of being slapped in the face, the blankness before the fury.

"You _lied. _These stupid _hearts." _She spat.

The fury returned in a hissing, snarling rush. Her shock and pain had disappeared into hate and rage and confusion, mixed with the pain of desperation and betrayal. She began to pace like a caged tiger, brilliant little sparks bolting up around her cheeks and fingers. She snapped around to meet his eyes with a hiss of rage.

"You just wanted your heart back so you wouldn't have to feel what I feel! So you-so you wouldn't have to feel that sort of, sort of tugging thing, where it feels like you hurt so much but it feels so good because it's something you can really feel rather than just pretend you feel, and it's like-"

"-The sort of pulsing, pounding, lovely feeling of _recognition._ Of two souls recognizing each other for what they are; _soulmates_." Lexaeus finished. It was all he could tell her; the need to tell her that he felt the same way overwhelmed the shock and pain of her rejection-at least, for the moment. On one hand, he was overjoyed in a sense to know that she felt the same as he did. On the other hand, the fact that she did not seem to understand all that his devotion meant ached him in a way he could not describe, especially when his heart was still lost to him.

Larxene blinked. The fury waned to shock after a second, and confusion took over the betrayal. The manic energy fled, leaving behind the lethargy and slow, grey misery that had taken over her before.

"How did you..." She trailed off and shook her head. "Doesn't matter, 'cause you just want to get rid of it anyway. You just w-want to go away like everyone else did, 'cause I'm a filthy slut an' they'll get a disease if they touch me. You want your heart back." She said.

Lexaeus shook his head, closing his eyes and moaning softly with misery. Larxene snarled. It was like watching a top, constantly spinning and turning; now the fury and hatred was back, spitting and hissing and snarling like a rabid, vicious beast.

"Well? Don't you? _Answer me_, Lexaeus." She demanded. "Don't you want your heart back?"

He was silent for a second. Then with a soft whisper, he replied, "Yes..."

Before he could finish, she nodded, having heard all she needed to hear.

"So I was right. Marluxia s-said if we get our hearts back, this feeling will go away. And that's what you want, isn't it? You don't want to stay with someone like me." She shook her head.

"So you lied." She said, with the dead, flat finality of passing judgement. All the life had left her eyes, and there was no spark of lightning within her as she looked up at him. "You lied to me."

Lexaeus wanted to die. More than he ever had in his entire life, he simply wanted to die.

Larxene blinked, looking shrunken and sad and making him want to howl with misery. She looked like a half-dead wraith woman as she hugged herself, eyes dead and cold and mournful.

"Why did you have to start out so beautiful?" She whispered out loud, her voice delicate and confused and sorrowful. "I never had someone start out so beautiful before. You were someone sweet and gentle and kind. And you had nice, strong hands you never used to hurt or hit. And such beautiful eyes..." She shook her head. "I liked it, even if it wasn't something I deserved. I loved having something so beautiful." She murmured. "And then you lied." She whispered.

Lexaeus dropped to his knees. He couldn't help it. He didn't know what to do.

"Larxene." He whispered. "Please. Please, I..."

She shook her head. "Stop, Lexaeus." She whispered.

He loved her. He loved her with all of his soul, and so he fell silent, even when it killed him. He would do anything for her. Even at the cost of himself.

"You're too beautiful. You hurt me too much. You...you shouldn't have been so beautiful." She said sadly. "I would have known better then. Would have known not to let you get too close..."

She blinked back tears for a minute before looking him right in the eye. She looked frightened, lost, and alone; the fragile spark of lightning trapped on the edge of a storm. He couldn't even touch her, for fear of breaking her further. He had failed. He knew it then, more than he had the entire time, the second he met her eyes-cold and dead, like a starving bird.

"I won't get lied to again. I won't get hurt again. No matter how beautiful you are...you won't break me. Never again." She said firmly. A spark of life returned to her voice, if only for an instant, before she looked away.

Lexaeus watched, mute with terror, as she turned on her heel and left, shutting the door with a gentle click behind her.

He didn't do anything. He simply watched the empty kitchen for a long, slow minute, before standing up and leaving the kitchen. He left the castle and walked up the lonely path to the Altar of Naught, where the dully shining Kingdom Hearts lay in the dead sky above him.

He was very quiet as he gazed up at the brilliant-bright moon.

Then with a howl of agonized sorrow and desperate, hideous fury, his scream lit up the entire void of the World that Never Was, and as if in response, Kingdom Hearts' light diminished just a little in the darkness choking them both.

...

Lexaeus went straight to the library after he had screamed out his agony. He needed a place where he could be reminded of what he was, and where he had come from. It was all he had left; the only thing to keep him from fading.

Larxene was gone, and she had fled with his soul in tow. He had nothing. There was nothing to make remaining human and holding on to the small semblance of life that he had been granted worthwhile. Nothing save for his brothers. He had to focus on them, or the last remaining tether he had to life and love would snap, and he would become a whisper in the darkness.

He curled up on his chair and closed his eyes, trying desperately to focus on the thoughts and memories of his brothers. He had nothing else to hold on to other than the memories of his family. After all, there was no reason of dreaming about brilliant bright-green eyes that shone with life and humor, or golden hair that shone like lightning on the edge of a winter night sky, or the soft, gentle touches that begged for the promise of love and safety. There was no reason to do it...

And yet he dreamed anyway.

Lexaeus never cried. It simply wasn't in his nature to cry; especially considering that now, he lacked the emotions to truly cry. And so he did not cry; not a single tear, nor a single soft sob of loss and pain.

But for the first time in his life, he wished more than anything that he could cry.


	107. Kiss

(Haha this is really short and crappy, but I hope you like it. I did my best!

If you'd like, I might continue this for the other romances. I just had to cram in all the Org just so I could get the V-Day oneshot out as quickly as possible. Ugh, my apologies. I hope you enjoy this anyway, even if it lacks coherency and is just stupid romantic prattle.

And remember, V-Day isn't just about romantic love; it's about the love between friends and the love for a good book and the love between pets and people and the love between the world and everyone in it. So even if you think you're alone, you're not.

Don't own KH.

Dedicated to everyone, ever. I love you all. Have a lovely V-Day.)

* * *

There were kisses, and then there were Kisses. Those were the kind of things that were not just a "hello, I love you," but more of a sign. Or a deep, hidden meaning trying to be contained in the simple touch of lips.

Nerve endings, really. Scientifically. Vexen approved of the scientific idea of romance; chemicals and brain functions and the desire for reproduction. And yet once he realized that his brain functions and chemicals and scientific chemical romance decided to swing towards the same sex, he abandoned the last tenet of his biological romance structure.

And Marluxia continued to chip away the other ideas, bit by bit. The idea that it was all just hormones was tossed out the window the day that Vexen ran a fever of one hundred and three degrees and puked all night, horking up blood and bile and stumbling out of the bathroom looking like hell at seven o clock in the morning, only to be greeted with a kiss on the cheek and a soft murmur of, "Good morning, sweetheart. I made you some tea for your stomach and told everyone you were sick. Get some rest."

And that kiss meant more to Vexen than he had thought it would; it wasn't even on the lips. It was a simple grazing against his cheek, but the idea that Marluxia could still think he was worth kissing after two hours of throwing up his stomach lining made him smile. It made him very, very pleased that he had gotten his heart, if only to share it with a man who wasn't afraid to kiss a sickly scientist and offer him tea.

...

There were public kisses, like teasing pecks and nuzzles, and then there were private Kisses which were communication between the heart and soul. Xaldin enjoyed those sort of private Kisses, but shied away from public kisses. Even he wasn't sure why; after all, he was overjoyed at the fact that now he had a lover, and if anything, he should be the one all over Luxord, shoving his tongue down his throat and letting him pull him into his lap and grope him, or whatever lovers did to claim ownership of the other. But he was just nervous.

One night, when the air was sweet and warm and sighed with the soft gentle care of a spring evening, he, Luxord, Axel, Demyx, Xigbar, Larxene, and Marluxia were all outside on the lawn, playing cards on a hastily-spread out tablecloth. Luxord was snuggled up against him, letting Xaldin lean his head on his lover's broad, strong shoulder as he watched him win yet another hand. Axel groaned, pushing munny towards the gambler and grumbling indignantly.

"God damn, Luxord, I don't know how you keep fucking winning. It's extortion, is what it is." He muttered. Luxord just laughed; a warm, ringing sound that wrapped itself around Xaldin's skin and sunk in, warming him all the way to his bones as he felt his lover stroke a delicate hand across his cheek.

"Simple, really," he purred, bringing Xaldin close and kissing his lips gently for an instant before pulling away to smirk at Axel, "I have a potent little luck charm in the form of my darling rose."

Xaldin was quiet for a second, the gears in his mind whirring as he tried to come up with an answer. He didn't know if it was okay to kiss him in public, especially since it was around his family, and just...

Ah, hell. He had initiated it. Besides, not every Kiss had to be private. Connections between the heart and the soul could happen any time they wanted, and it would be such a shame to waste that sort of time...Luxord would understand.

Xaldin grinned wickedly before tackling Luxord to the ground and attacking his lips like a man possessed as the others howled with laughter. After all, he had those kisses a long time coming.

...

Demyx and Xigbar both liked kisses. They were constantly touching; delicate little flickers of motion and sensation, skin against skin and lips against lips, just because of the beauty they both felt when they touched each other. They weren't shy about their affections in the slightest; Xigbar was constantly running his hands over Demyx, marking him as his property, his lover, his life, his savior and soulmate, and Demyx would reciprocate each touch with just as much adoration.

Even then, there was one special Kiss that made them both realize how lovely emotions were, and how lucky they both were to feel the pulsing of a heart inside their chests.

Demyx was being quiet and contemplative, staring out at a rainy sky as it cleared up and blossomed into a bright, sunshine-spilling clear sky of azure delights and puffy white clouds that stretched across the sky like a smile. Xigbar was heading through the kitchen while Demyx stared out the window, and just happened to catch the sight with his lover.

Without a word, he came up behind Demyx and wrapped his arms around his waist, hugging him tight as they watched the sun come out to greet them.

For once, Demyx turned around and initiated the kiss; it was sweet and gentle and loving, but in no way hesitant. The undercurrent of _you are mine _made Xigbar moan with pleasure, and he submitted willingly, letting Demyx know that he owned him and held his soul in his hands.

The Kiss was the Kiss of the sun just beginning to peek out from behind the clouds, and that kind of Kiss made them feel like the sun was just rising with them, waiting for the rain to stop and the clouds to smile once more before they could hold each other and realize how much each Kiss led to their hearts.

...

Xemnas was initially very confused and contemplative after he received his heart anew; he would hold Saix and caress him, kiss him, touch him, almost like a young child in his curiousity. He still couldn't truly believe that after all the sacrifice and suffering, a heart really lay inside his chest, and real emotion resided within him. Fortunately, that was why Saix was there.

It was one night after a full moon that the two of them found their way to bed. Xemnas had tucked Senayax in and said good night to everyone before heading back upstairs, only to find Saix sitting on the bed and waiting for him.

"Come join me, won't you, my master?" He asked. His voice was not one that could be disobeyed, and so Xemnas did indeed obey, coming to bed and watching as Saix cupped his face in his hands and kissed his forehead.

"You are awfully confused, my master." He teased. "So I decided I should show you what a real kiss is like."

Saix pushed Xemnas back down on the bed very gently before he laid down on top of him and Kissed him, (with a proper captial letter, because that meant true power), Kissed him with all the strength and passion he had learned from trying to stay human and alive and real despite having lost his heart; he held him with all the promises and hope that he had collected in his time of working for his heart, trying to find himself whole and human again.

Xemnas was quiet for a minute, before he held Saix just as tight and replied in turn, "If you are to show me what a real kiss is like, I ought to show you what a real lover is like." He murmured.

If anyone else had said it, it would have been cheesy, contrite; however, considering all that they had been through, and the fact that Xemnas was, quite frankly, a bronze sex god, (especially in Saix's eyes), Saix wasn't laughing as Xemnas pulled him into another kiss, instead settling for smiling with delight as his lover gave him his first real Kiss as a whole, real, and proper man, with his heart intact.

...

Larxene had gotten lots of kisses before. Kisses from clumsy little boys who thought that pawing at her would make her sigh with pleasure, kisses from bigger men who didn't care if pawing at her made her moan, and eventually, a kiss that wasn't really a kiss, but a demand to stay silent while he took whatever he wanted from her.

But the first man to Kiss her was Lexaeus. The first man to get on his knees in front of her and pledge himself to her as a man, even without his heart, was Lexaeus. He had been patient; he had waited and held out and settled for stroking and touching and loving, but the second that Larxene had knelt to kiss him, he had lost his control and given her a real, true Kiss.

It was nothing like she had ever felt; it was sweet and gentle and loving and kind, like a soft touch to a fevered forehead. It was worshipful, careful, and gentle; like the delicate caress of a butterfly's wing. She wanted more of it-more gentle touches, more promises of love and devotion, but she didn't know how to ask for them.

Fortunately, Lexaeus was very gifted at the art of understanding silence. And so he Kissed her, endless Kisses trailing up and down her arms, her face, her neck, her chest, her belly, her breasts, her legs, her knees, her toes, the soles of her feet, the palms of her hands, the top of her head-everywhere he could reach, he would kiss her and touch her and love her, and in that silence, he promised her eternal devotion.

Larxene had told plenty of people that she loved them, and sometimes, she had even been telling the truth. She wanted to find something better for Lexaeus-something more right, and powerful, and real.

So one night, as the two of them lay in bed, Larxene Kissed him right back. She had no fear or hesitation left in her as she Kissed every inch of him she could reach; his arms, his neck, his face, his chest, his belly, his thighs, his knees, his legs, the soles of his feet, the palms of his hands, the top of his head, the fragile skin of his eyelids, the tip of his nose, the tips of his fingers, and the swells of his cheekbones, so broad and prominent as she Kissed them.

Lexaeus understood. He could understand silence, and in this silence, they now had heartbeats to further communicate, both their hearts beating as one as they Kissed each other until neither of them could tell where the other ended and the next one began.

...

Senayax liked kisses. They were new, and sweet, and gentle and delicate. Zexion was a gentle, hesitant kisser, always afraid of hurting her or breaking her in some way. She liked to snuggle up against him and kiss him for hours, just to feel the soft, smooth skin of his lips. She didn't have to ask for him to kiss her; instead, he seemed to know when the time was right, and he would come to her whenever she needed him and brush his lips against hers.

There was one night where she woke up dreaming of the baby, and cried for hours over what could have been. In her heart of hearts, she knew that the baby would never have survived; one way or another, it would have left her, and maybe it was better that way. But there was still the feeling of the stirring little curiosity of baby feet, moving and twitching before kicking out, so confused at its little prison. There was still the remembrance of the fact that for a time, she had carried life inside her. And so sometimes she woke up crying for a little baby she had never named and never gotten the chance to love.

Zexion gave her the first real Kiss on one of those nights. She had woken up from a dream about burning houses and rotting moons filled with darkness and pain and screaming children, and he had held her for an hour, rocking her back and forth as she wept in his arms until she could barely breathe. Then, once he made sure she had stopped crying, he kissed both her cheeks and moved down to her stomach, kissing it and nuzzling the soft skin below his lips. He reached up after that and kissed her, a sweet, gentle Kiss that reminded her of all that he had lost; he had known as well that he couldn't have ever been a father, not to that little baby, and it hurt him to think of its loss to them both.

They were both quiet for a little while, thinking. Then Senayax Kissed him just to remind him of all that he still had with him.

The two of them loved each other enough that all they had to do was share a smile as they cuddled back under the covers and kissed each other goodnight, holding each other in the darkness as the soft, gentle sighing of the wind stirred their hair and smoothed back the stress and sorrow to be replaced by love.

There are kisses, and then there are Kisses. Some people only get kisses; Kisses aren't as well understood, because of the depth of emotion and love and sorrow and loss and understanding between lovers to truly convey love through a kiss.

Fortunately, the Organization was lucky enough to have lovers that understood, and lovers that really knew how to Kiss.


	108. Promise

(Short, but plot necessary, so...

I'll be honest. I haven't felt like writing much lately. This arc is getting too personal, and thus when I get even the slightest of criticism, I get all pissy and huffy, which I hate, because it makes me feel like one of those STOP FLAMNG U FKIN PREPS people. I just kind of want this arc to be _over. _Writing about rape is _not fun_.

But yeah, Demyx. Demyx is adorable and awesome and spiffy and aww. :3 Go Demyx!

And so there goes that Armor Piercing Slap trope I really like. The image of Demyx actually being able to reach Lexaeus' shoulders make me laugh. Giant is giant.

Also Tenga Toppa Guren Lagann is like trying to steal my soul into the night and it's _working. _Christ, it's a three way between Pokemon, Kingdom Hearts, and TTGL for who owns my soul. They are just going to have to share. Especially since the first two franchises apparently assume I _lactate money _what with their re-releases and import-only figurines and games and blah blah blah WE ARE NOT ALL AS RICH AS YOU NOMURA/TAJIRI. STOP MAKING ME LOVE YOUR THINGS SO MUCH AND THEN CHARGE ME SO MUCH MONEY.

So yeah, sorry...seriously, sorry. I'm trying. I just...I'm not really having fun doing this anymore. It's an endless constant fucking slog through rape trauma and disgust and self hatred and guilt and that's not how you're supposed to write. So hopefully once this arc ends things will be more fun. I can only hope.

Don't own.

Dedicated to everyone who sits and waits for updates...)

* * *

Demyx yawned and stretched, looking up at the massive library doors. He had opted to come and sit in the library to wait for Xigbar; his lover was out on a mission, and he still needed to find his chair in here, so he had decided that it was the best place to wait.

Peggy's soft hum of distress made him look up; he raised an eyebrow and tilted his head, confused. He didn't hear anything, but she seemed to think something was wrong...

He shrugged, stroking her handle comfortingly before opening the door.

The library was in shadows; the lights had been dimmed, and it threw splotches of deep black all around the room, giving Demyx the shivers. It gave the normally benign and oftentimes cheerful library a grim, subtle darkness that worried Demyx more than he cared to admit.

"Hello?" He called out. "Is anyone in here? Vexen? Zexion? Xaldin? Hello?"

There was silence for a minute. Then Demyx heard the soft snort of a rush of air, and the intake of breathing. He turned his head slightly to see Lexaeus, sitting in his chair with a hunched, defeated look about him. His eyes were as dead as the dry earth, and his was was as solid and impassive as stone.

Demyx was slightly worried, but he didn't know how to approach the subject quite yet. He didn't want to get Lexaeus angry or sad, or make him leave, so he would simply have to play it carefully. He gave Lexaeus a sweet, simple grin, waving at him as he walked in and shut the door behind him as he brightened the lights in the library.

"Hiya, Lexy!" He said cheerfully, trying his best to stay bubbly. Peggy twanged a hello as well, glowing a soft, pale blue in greeting.

Lexaeus continued to be quiet, which was starting to unnerve him, very much so. It wasn't that the hero was ever very talkative, but there was quiet, and then there was _silence. _It was as if all the will to be strong in him had just disappeared. Demyx swallowed. He knew Lexaeus was usually willing to divulge his problems, especially to him, so perhaps if he just asked...

"Hey, Lexaeus?" He asked. "Are you okay? Did something bad happen?"

He didn't get a response for a minute. Demyx groaned and sank into the chair across from Lexaeus, giving him a pitiful look. "C'mon. You can tell me. What's wrong?"

Lexaeus finally looked up to meet his eyes, and Demyx was stunned by the sheer amount of pain and misery in his gaze. Heart or not, Lexaeus was suffering, and Demyx couldn't help but worry in response.

"Larxene has left me." He said. His voice was dull, flat, and final, as if he was trying to distance himself from the agony even as he said it. Demyx's eyes widened, and he gasped in shock.

"W-what? But Lexaeus, she loved you! I mean, you could...you could really tell, y'know? And you love her! Like, a lot! What do you mean, she _left!" _He shouted. Lexaeus flinched and looked away, startled by the boy's shouting. Demyx faltered, sitting down with a soft sigh and looking up at him.

"C'mon, Lexaeus. She didn't leave. What reason would she have to leave?" He asked. "You're so nice to her. You adore her. You're like the best thing she's ever had, and even Marluxia admits it!" He groaned. "I knew this was gonna be complicated. We're all just so _complicated." _He muttered. Lexaeus nodded.

"She did indeed leave, Demyx." He said, voice quiet and heavy with sorrow, feigned or otherwise. "She believes that I am just manipulating her for my own entertainment, like she is an outlet for my desires as I await my heart." He shook his head. "But she is wrong. I did not know how to tell her this at the time, but she is the only reason I want my heart back." He confessed. "I can live with simple memories of my brothers; after all, they are good memories, filled with happiness and family and love. I have memories of those things, and do not need to worry about them." He sighed.

"However, with her...I have no memories of love, or happiness, or joy with which I can use to feel, if only slightly, the love, happiness, and joy I have when I am by her side. And she...she has no happy memories at all. She has no memories of a man that ever treated her with kindness, tenderness, or love. Thus this is perhaps even more confusing to her..." He trailed off. "That's a simple hypothesis, however. The plain truth is that she has no memories of love. And I have no memories of her; nothing to make our connection more real or stronger." He shook his head and bit his lip.

"That is why I held on to her with all of my might. Because all I want to do is make memories with her-memories that I can cherish as something to remind me of love, and the feeling of being with someone you love and trust implicitly, and perhaps make sure that for the first time in her life, she could know what that is like. I wanted nothing but the best for her. I still want nothing but the best for her." He swallowed. "She is my world. She is the single reason I care about hearts and this grand process of Xemnas'. I care not for "completion" and "power." All that matters to me now is finding a heart to share with her. And I would bring about Kingdom Hearts with my own bare hands just to make that happen." He confessed.

Demyx was quiet for a minute. No one ever seemed to know what to say when Lexaeus got like this; the stalwart older man seemed to be an endless fountain of stoic strength and calm, emotionless skill. And then the second Larxene was brought up...

Tears were trailing down his cheeks. He didn't seem to be aware of them, despite the fact that they had to be burning him, stinging his eyes and hurting his skin. He was shaking his head and trying to compose himself properly as Demyx reached out a hand and patted the top of his wavy auburn hair with gentle care.

"Hey..." He whispered. "Hey, it's okay. Things are going to work out, all right? They always do." He said cheerfully. Lexaeus snorted in a mixture of amusement and deep sorrow.

"Demyx, she effectively told me flat out that she never wants to see me again." He said, his voice short and choked with pain. "There is no way to 'work this out.' There is no fixing things this time. I have failed her. And if what she wants is for me to leave, then I-"

Demyx grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. Hard.

Lexaeus was stunned; Demyx was puffed up to his full height, and a fire had lit up and burst into a brilliant, crackling flame inside of his bright blue eyes. He hadn't let go of Lexaeus as he leaned in close, standing on tiptoe to just barely reach his chin as he looked up into his eyes.

"It doesn't matter one bit what she wants." He said. Lexaeus stiffened, and his lip curled unconsciously into a snarl. Demyx shook his head. "Uh-uh. Don't tell me you're going to do some self sacrificing "manly hero" _bullshit." _He snarled. Lexaeus raised an eyebrow. Demyx continued on, evidently unaware of the fact that he had just sworn and stunned Lexaeus into further silence.

"You are in _love _with her, and you _know _she's in pain, and you still think that stepping back and letting her _destroy herself _is a good idea?" He roared. Lexaeus winced. He realized that he had just hit a very raw nerve with Demyx, and he had no idea how to calm the younger man down.

"Xiggy never let me do that! He held me tight and he didn't let me go, 'cause when you're really in love with someone, you don't ever let them go, because even if they don't understand it, their best and happiest and safest place in the whole world is in your arms, and by their side, and..." He trailed off, deep in thought. "You have to let her know that you're always going to be there for her." He sighed. "Lexaeus, I know I'm a lot younger than you, and probably a lot stupider or something, but...I do know this."

He looked up into Lexaeus' eyes again and let go of his shoulders, standing in front of him and folding his arms over his chest.

"Sometimes, what a person wants isn't what they need. And what they need isn't always what they want. And I know the two of you need each other. Like, a lot." He said. Lexaeus nodded. Demyx grinned. "See? Toldja! So all you have to do is find a way to show her you're never going to leave. You've got to show her a promise of some kind, y'know? Like an engagement ring." He offered. Lexaeus shook his head.

"No." He said. "The last man who gave her one of those was nothing but a monster. I will give her a promise of my own, and it will be only for her." He sighed, giving Demyx a bleary, grateful smile. "Demyx, I don't know who told you that you were stupid, but let me assure you; you are a perceptive young man, and brilliant to boot." He told him. Demyx's face lit up as Lexaeus headed for the door.

"I have to go find her something to show that I have promised myself to her for eternity." He murmured. "Something timeless. Something that will last forever." He sighed. "That could take awhile, obviously," he remarked dryly, "and I believe Marluxia has a mission today. Demyx, if it isn't asking too much...can you please make up an excuse to sit with her and make sure she doesn't hurt herself?" He begged. Demyx winced and shivered.

"Yeesh, Larxene is kinda scary..." He sighed. "But yeah. If you need me to do it, I will. Anything to make this work, Lexaeus!" He said cheerfully, gesturing to the door. "C'mon, scoot. You've got a promise to make, right?" He told him. Lexaeus paused for a second before his face split into a massive grin.

"I suppose I do." He murmured. "You are absolutely right, Demyx." He opened the library door and led the younger man outside as a portal began to blossom up around him. "And thank you. For everything." He confessed, genuine gratitude written across his face. Demyx blushed and looked away.

"Hey," he offered lamely, "we're family, right? And this is what we do."

Lexaeus saw the hint of past aches and wounds cross his face, and he did the only thing that came naturally to him after years of raising his younger brothers. He hugged Demyx tight and ruffled his hair affectionately, pulling away and giving him a smile.

"Indeed." He offered. "And you are a wonderful little brother."

Demyx waved him off as he disappeared, tears still dripping down his cheeks as he hurriedly brushed them away and went to find Larxene.


	109. Run, Run, Bunny, Run

(There's a lot of reasons why this wasn't updated, most of which you know; blah blah blah trauma blah blah blah horrible issues with writing this sort of thing, etc etc. Also because I'm almost done, (no, really), with this arc. I wanted to try to finish it before publishing anything, but one of my friends had her birthday tomorrow and this is her present. :3

I GOT POKEMON BLACK~ So yeah. I'll post my Friend Code if anyone wants it, just let me know. Also, if you're curious, my current team is Futamaru the Dewott, Pandora the Whirlipede, Striker Venus the Victini, Lilil the Lilipetal, and Nanacha the Woobat. Go me~

I had a ton of stuff to ramble about but I got four hours of sleep so it's all gone. The next few chapter notes will be rambly. Promise.

Trigger warnings etc etc...

Demyx is seriously like Jesus Christ (Superstar) at this point. Goddamn, he's like, just, ugh I bet he bleeds rainbows. Every time he plays that sitar, an angel loses its virginity. Or something.

Don't own.

I love y'all; thank you so much for putting up with this. I know I don't make it easy. But I hope I make it worthwhile. :3

Dedicated to Bri; happy birthday, sweetheart. You're the best editor I could ask for.)

* * *

Larxene lay down on her bed, curled up into a ball with her eyes shut tight so as to block out the hurt of Relane's constant cooing and whispering in her ear as she continued to taunt her.

Sometimes it would just be Relane; her own voice speaking back to her about what a horrible, nasty little bitch she was and how much everyone hated her. She would tell herself how much she didn't deserve to live and how everyone loathed her and despised her for being a burden. And Larxene listened because she had nothing to reply with; she had no rebuttal to the hatred.

Sometimes the voice shifted, turned into the Beast; those times were the worst. Those times were when he would sit right next to her, crouched on the bed and leaning over her side, fingers trailing down her spine like spiders, cracked fingernails making small scratches in her skin as he told her what he would do to her.

"Tie you to the bed, dear. Make sure you were nice and wet before I got rid of those little nasty bits, dear. Don't need them anymore, do you? No..."

_Keep your eyes shut. Don't let him know he's won. Close your eyes. _

"Cut them off with a nice sharp knife, all delicate and sweet as it cuts your pretty pink skin, slick and hot and covered in blood. If you want them so badly, of course, you can always ask nicely and maybe I'll put them back...but I'm not very good with needles, dear...I might miss..."

_Keep your eyes closed, damn you. Keep them shut. _

"Filthy, disgusting little thing, really. The ugly little slit-mouth of a whore. Ought to keep it shut. You like blue, don't you? We'll sew it up in nice shades of blue and yellow. Make sure no one has to look at it again."

"Fuck you." Larxene muttered, unable to stop herself. "Just _fuck you. _Leave me _alone." _

The spider-fingers changed; harsh, angry now, like long piercing needle-fangs as they dug into her skin.

"_Whore." _Beast spat. "Cut out your _tongue. _Tear off your pretty little pink fingernails, cut off your toes, slice open your firm little belly, take those breasts of yours and tear them off, flat-chested little bitch _how dare you mock me-"_

_Stupid bitch. Shouldn't have opened your mouth. _

"_I made you who you are, whore! _I took you and made you _good! _Obedient, subservient! I broke you and put you back together, and _this is the thanks I get?" _His voice was hissing and soft in her ear, making her physically ill as he leaned in closer and kissed her cheek. His cold, clammy tongue caressed her skin as he murmured softly in her ear, "_You will never be rid of me. You will stay in your box _forever, _like you should, _whore."

Larxene pushed him away, lashing out as the covers constricted her, making her flail in panic as they wrapped around her, tighter and tighter, making her suffocate under the feel of the Beast and the soft feel of his fingers in her spine, tearing her to pieces and leaving her helpless in a soft sea of darkness and fingers pushing and tearing and ripping her apart.

There was a second pair of hands.

She screamed, and the hands disappeared almost the instant after she started. She managed to throw herself off the bed and crouch on the floor, still trapped underneath the choking darkness of the tangled sheets, hissing and snarling at the new intruder.

"Um, hey?" A soft voice, neither Relane's or the Beast. "Can you see me?" The person asked. "Cause I think you're stuck." Another pause. "Want some help?"

Larxene snarled. The person, whoever they were, winced and shivered. "Uh, okay. Is that a no?"

She paused. Would they actually go away? Were they really such a threat, then, if they were so cowardly?

She didn't say anything. She decided to simply wait and see what the person did.

There was the nervous shifting, signifying the fact that he was moving from foot to foot, still confused. Then she felt fingers against her and jumped, screaming at the top of her lungs and lashing out with brilliant bolts of electricity before realizing that the darkness had been lifted and she could see around her room.

There was a skinny young boy who barely looked old enough to fuck standing in her doorway, a blanket in his hand. He tossed it aside and gave her a sheepish, nervous grin as he waved to her. A sitar that was situated snugly in his embrace twanged at her for a minute, glowing a light, peaceful pale blue. She blinked.

"Um, hi." He said. "I'm Demyx. This is Peggy, my sitar. It's nice to meet you." He looked ready to bolt as he said it, which just made her snort with amusement as she stood up, looking him right in the eye. The contact seemed to unnerve him, and he backed away ever so slightly towards to the door. Larxene just laughed; it was a short, harsh, bark of amusement, but it was enough to relax him. "Anyways, you're Larxene, right?"

_He knows my name. _

It was enough to make her snarl, her knives in her hands as she tensed for a fight. He backpedaled furiously, shaking his head and doing his best to give her a reassuring smile.

"Hey, it's fine. Xiggy mentioned you before is all. He said you used knives, and that you liked kicking people. I guess he was right..." He trailed off, giving her a sheepish grin. Larxene snorted.

"Only if they piss me off." She finally said, sheathing her knives and regarding him with interest. Demyx just laughed self-consciously, sitting on the floor and slumping against the wall, Peggy in his lap as he looked up at her. She snorted, sitting on her bed and giving him a look of mixed contempt and amusement. "So, what do you want?" She asked. "Come on and sit up on the bed. I'm sure there's something you want to take from me too." She said.

Demyx winced at the bitter, cold tone to her voice; it was the voice of a jaded woman who had given up entirely, and it was almost physically painful to hear that much sorrow and loss. He just shook his head.

"Nuh-uh. I'm here..." He paused, trying to scrabble for an excuse that wouldn't mention Lexaeus. He knew he shouldn't bring the older man up for fear of making her retaliate and lash out. "I'm here because...um...well, everyone's out, and I was kinda bored, I guess, and we haven't talked much, so-"

He was cut off by a knife against his throat.

Demyx froze up, trying not to burst into tears. He focused on the fact that it was his neck and not his thighs, and that she hadn't tried to bite him-at least, not yet. He inhaled slowly. He had to do this. Even if not just for Lexaeus; now he really had to help.

"I told_ him_, and I'll tell _you,_ you bastard." She snarled. "I won't be broken again. Do you understand? _I won't be broken again." _

"Aww, let him, dearie." Relane said, rubbing her shoulders and kissing her neck as she cooed invitingly at Demyx. "He seems like a good fuck. All lean and lanky and thin. I could just eat the poor thing alive..."

Larxene snarled, turning and giving her a look of hatred. "Fuck off. This isn't about you, cunt." She snapped. Demyx blinked. Even though he was scared, he was now more confused than anything.

"Who? About who? I..." He shook his head. "I think there's something confusing you here. I just want to talk." He said. "I really haven't talked to you much, and I know everyone else pretty well, so, y'know..." He trailed off. Larxene blinked, giving him an odd look. She pulled the knife away and he sighed with relief as Relane snorted in disgust.

"You're a man." She said. "You hurt. You tear, and you bite, and-"

Demyx shook his head.

"No." He said firmly. "No, no I don't. My big brother did, but I'm not him. I don't hurt people." He told her.

She was stunned by the seriousness in his eyes; it was a spark of honesty and pride that she hadn't seen from the odd boy at all beforehand. She shook her head.

"But-" He cut her off.

"Hey, you like Marly, right? The two of you are like Siamese twins! What's so bad about me?" He snapped. Larxene snorted.

"Marluxia doesn't want me." She said. "He might be a man, but he's different. Special. He doesn't try to touch me or anything..." She trailed off. Demyx's eyes widened as the idea clicked with him, and he outright laughed in relief.

"Oh, that's all?" He said. "All right, fair enough. I guess you didn't know..." He sighed. He knew Lexaeus figured that she had been raped, but even she didn't seem to be aware of the fact. Repression, maybe? He couldn't remember a lot of what had happened to him, either...

He shrugged. "I don't want your body. I promise. I'm in, um, whatever you would call love if we weren't Nobodies, I guess...anyways, I'm really happy with someone already. Xiggy's my boyfriend." He said cheerfully.

Larxene blinked, sitting down on the bed and staring at him in shock. Relane screeched, teeth bared as she snarled, "_LIAR!" _Larxene ignored her, looking Demyx dead in the eyes.

"You mean it?" She asked. Demyx nodded emphatically, sighing with relief.

"Yeah. I mean, I think most of us are...or at least, we're with guys at the moment, y'know?" He offered. Larxene tilted her head.

"Xemnas?" She asked. Demyx grinned.

"Pretty gay. He's got Saix, right?" He offered. She nodded slowly, thinking.

"Xigbar-oh, well wait..." She trailed off. He grinned again.

"Xaldin?" She asked.

"Super duper gay. I thought he was competition for Xiggy and everythin'. Turns out they're just related. Sorta." He shrugged.

"Vexen?" She murmured.

The two of them looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"Zexion?" She asked. Demyx shrugged again and tilted his head.

"I dunno...but he's only seventeen. Don't think he really counts yet." He said.

"So, Saix?" She asked. Demyx nodded.

"I think if Xemnas asked him to jump off a bridge, he would." He agreed. Larxene snorted.

"And you, obviously...Luxord?" She said. Demyx nodded.

"Well, I think so. At any rate, he rides Xaldin pretty hard-I, oh, wait." He deflated. "Dammit, I didn't mean it like that." He muttered. Larxene started to laugh, however, which made him sigh with relief. As long as she was happy and _not _holding a knife to his neck...

"And Marluxia, well, I call him fairy boy for a reason." She mused. "So I guess...whatever."

"They could be lying. He could be lying. He's _lying. _Scarred little bitch, who does he think he is?" Relane snarled. Larxene shivered, looking away as Demyx reached out a hand.

"T-the only person I know who would lie about love is you and _it, _bitch." She retorted. "So leave him out of this."

Demyx groaned. "Larxene, who are you talking to? Seriously, can you at least, like, introduce me or something?" He pleaded. Larxene snapped back to reality as she saw him sitting in front of her, confused. Relane cooed, reaching out with a single clammy hand to caress his cheek. Larxene flinched, but Demyx didn't notice as she leaned in and kissed his cheek.

"Isn't he a cute little thing? All broken and beaten and scarred, just like you!" She offered. "The Beast doesn't care what sates him, dear. You could trade..."

Larxene snarled. Something in her broke then, and she lashed out, reaching out and wrapping her hands around Relane's neck as Demyx looked on, stunned.

"Fuck with me all you like, you twisted, evil bitch," she spat, "but you leave everyone else the fuck out of this! Your fight is with me! If you're going to hurt someone, hurt me! I can take it! I can take it! I'm strong! I _survived, _you stupid, dumb, weak bunny, when you _got yourself raped and beaten like the worthless piece of shit that you are!" _She screamed. "I hate you! I hate you_ so fucking much! _You _ruined me! _You were a useless piece of shit bitch, and _look what you did! Look what happened! I HATE YOU!" _She roared.

Relane just laughed, holding Larxene's shaking hands steady on her neck.

"If you hate me, you hate what you are." She said. "I _am _you, you dumb bunny. You were the one that did this to yourself. Now _look what you did_." She echoed, mocking her with delight as she carressed the side of Larxene's face. "You're enjoying this. It's so much easier to be hurt and sick and lonely because suffering's all you know. You wanted it. You wanted to get raped and beaten and tortured because it was so much easier to blame all of your problems on him..." She narrowed her eyes. "Everything is your fault. And you deserved every horrible thing that happened to you for it."

Larxene shook her head, tears trailing down her cheeks as she shook Relane, trying desperately to strangle her.

"No." She said, voice soft and stifled with tears, "no, it's not. It's not my fault. I didn't...I don't..._leave me alone..." _

Relane just giggled, ignoring her tears as she tried not to break down.

Larxene felt a sudden hand on her shoulder, and she jumped, shocked. She turned around to see Demyx, whose face was neutral as his eyes were filled with something she couldn't understand.

"Whatever it is, it's okay." He said. "You can get over it. It's not your fault..." He sighed. "Please? C'mon. Hey, can you sing? I'll play a song." He offered. She stared at him, utterly struck dumb by his offer.

"You're fucking crazy." She said. "Are you for real?" She asked. He shrugged.

"Kinda, and yes." He replied. "So, is that a yes or no?"

She stared at him, incredulous. Then with a soft, nigh-on hysterical sob of laughter, she nodded.

"Yeah." She said. "Yeah, I guess."

He grinned. "Good. Come on, let's go out in the garden and see if Marluxia's back..." He held out his hand, and she looked up at him, confused.

"Why are you helping me?" She asked. "You don't want me. You don't want to have sex with me, right?" She said, her voice bordering on hysterical again. Demyx shook his head.

"You don't have to be in love with someone to want to help them; at least, not always." He said, shrugging his shoulders. "I guess I just know how much it hurts...and I just...didn't want to see someone else hurting so much. That's all." He offered lamely. "I'm not very good at this therapist stuff. That's more Vexen's thing."

Larxene just stared at him for a minute longer.

Then she took his hand and squeezed it so tight he felt his bones crack. He didn't betray the sudden pain as he pulled her to her feet and gestured to the door.

"Hey, you first." He said. "Lead the way."

The two of them walked down the hallway in silence, save for Peggy giving Demyx a hum of satisfaction as the two of them discreetly high-fived, (albeit with Peggy using her handle.)

Larxene was quiet, ignoring the both of them as she lost herself in thought. She could hear Relane behind her, but the sound of Demyx's footsteps was stronger. The normal creaks and groans of the castle were drowing her out too. She didn't know why, but...maybe this place...really was a safe place. A good place.

If so, then...

She closed her eyes and tried to hide tears. Demyx wouldn't understand why she was crying.

As they headed outside to find the garden, her single thought was not one of pain or loss or sorrow; neither was it one of joy, hope, or awakening. It was a single word that with it brought the entirety of Larxene's life under one idea.

_Lexaeus?_


	110. The Starglass Awakens

(It's over.

It's done.

Seriously, I just finished it. Finally, after all this pain and insanity, I finished it.

Daily updates until it's over and you have the whole arc, promise.

I'm sorry, once again; now my fucken parents are fighting, and there's talks of divorce. Life is super not fun for me right now, so writing was hard for a bit. But now, I'm trying my best, and since this arc is /done/, I probably will be going better, knock on wood.

I recommend listening to "The Legend Awakens" (aka Lugia's Song) from the Pokemon 2000 movie during this chapter. Seriously, it fits it so well. There's a ton of good youtube versions, so there's no excuse not to! :D

Oh man, as much as I hate to say it, I love Black and White. Sure, some of the ugly Pokemon make my soul hurt, but man, my team is fucking beast. :3 And N is awesome, and sympathetic, and geniunely a good person. Dennis/Gheetis/Whatever the fuckis however...

Anyways, long ANs full of rambling will start up again soon, with any hope.

Also, SEBASTIAN AND CIEL ARE REALLY SUPER DUPER GAY. That is all.

Don't own KH. Or Kuroshitsuiji, for that matter, in case that reference counts.

Dedicated to my Pokemon team; Daimaru, Nanacha, Pandora, Bachuru, Striker Venus, and Lilli, word up!)

* * *

He was waiting for her. But he was not standing by; not anymore.

Lexaeus walked the shores of the bright little beach, in nothing but pants and a loose white button-down as he padded across the dock barefoot. He ignored the silvery little minnows that darted around and about beside him, the sound of his footsteps startling them out of their seaweed kingdoms. He had other things to focus on, and they were beyond the confines of the shore.

He tossed his shirt aside; no need for dead weight. He didn't pause in his steps as he kept walking until the edge of the pier greeted him, smooth oak soft and velvety under the soles of his feet.

He was a single stroke of motion as he dove into the water, so silent the fish barely noticed his presence as he swam through the crystal clear water, skimming the bottom in an attempt to reach something.

The sand stirred and parted for him with a simple toss of his head. Underneath the dull, pale greyish-brown depths lay sparkling little chips of light that could have been stars that had come to coat the seafloor. He smiled and scooped up some in his massive hands, carrying enough to coat a small city in the seaglass as he swam slowly up to the surface.

He laid out the seaglass on the sand and painstakingly picked out the best and brightest of the chips of glass; some that shone in brilliant purplish-blues and others that sparkled a vivid, almost painfully bottle-bright green, setting them aside deep, rich blues and pale sky-colored chips that stood apart as frosty white little glimmering treasures. The rest of them, he tossed back out into the ocean, watching them float on the surface of the waves like glittering scales before disappearing under the ocean's pull to swirl down gently to the bottom once more.

He hummed quietly to himself as he took the sand in his hands, closing his fingers over it and focusing all his power.

_Hear me, earth. _He rumbled, reaching out his thoughts into the world around him, _I ask a favor. I must give my love a promise that will last forever; something as timeless and eternal as you are, in your immovable glory. If I may, could I draw upon your power to give her such a promise?_

There was no response for a minute. Then a soft rumble of the ground and a whisper greeted him.

_**We hear and obey, lord. **_The earth whispered to him.

He nodded, letting the sand drop from his hands in delicate grains, turning into a sparkling cascade of all the gems he could name and some that he could not, pouring out onto the sand like a glimmering rain after the harshest of storms. They were so beautiful it hurt to look at them, and he had to turn away as he reached into the dirt and called to the earth once more.

The next time he rose the sand up to the sun, it turned to delicate strands of gold beneath his fingers. It slipped between the spaces of his fingers, falling down to pool in shining, sleek loops across the sand. He nodded, satisfied. These things were beautiful, but it was not enough...

He stood up and faced the ocean, deep in thought. Gems were beautiful. Gold shone like the sun. Seaglass was natural beauty, a ragged perfection unto itself. But there was nothing so stalwart as stone. Nothing that would prove his promise quite like the strength of a mountain.

He raised his hands up in the air, and rocks burst forth from the sea, jagged jetties blasting sea water into the air in pale white frothy fans, spilling and trickling across the sleek black stones he had summoned forth.

He stepped forward and took the obsidian stone in his hands. He could feel the life inside of it; the promise of eternity, strength, and protection. He nodded, more to himself than anything, as he broke off a piece of the rock and held it in his hands.

The life still pulsed within the rock, and he smiled with satisfaction as he turned away from the shore and back to the treasures he had made. Let the gems and the gold and the glass sparkle and shine with love and life, but the stone was the purest and truest gift he could offer; protection.

He turned back to the stones and the shimmering sea-glass and the gold beneath his feet and he smiled. He sat down upon the shore, close enough that the tide could lap at his feet, and he wove her a promise from the earth itself.

Larxene sighed and curled up in a small ball on the soft loam that made up the ground of Marluxia's garden. He and Demyx let her be, knowing that convincing her of anything would be nigh-on impossible. She was hurting and lonely and didn't know how to bring back what she herself had willingly destroyed in an attempt to save herself. All they had was the hope that Lexaeus would come back...

Larxene would hold onto that hope until she had nothing left, and even then, she would make the Beast pry it out of her cold, dead hands. It was all she had and she would not let go.

The two men looked at her and decided it was best to give her some space; however, a quick debate decided that they couldn't leave her entirely, and they both settled for simply hiding deeper in the greenhouse, keeping an eye on her while letting her grieve in peace.

Lexaeus looked down at the necklace in front of him, focusing on it with singleminded devotion as he gently wound the strings of gold together, manipulating them so they would twirl around the stones and glass in delicate swirling spirals that cradled the gems and shimmering seaglass with care as he brought them together.

The colors all seemed to harmonize; each complemented each other and there was no clashing or garish design flaws. Everything moved smoothly, delicately, naturally as it shifted and clinked. Lexaeus held it in his hands for a minute before deciding it was marvelous. Worthy to have as a reminder of his promise.

But there was something he was forgetting...one last thing...

He reached down deep into the heart of the earth and summoned up one last thing; a single plain band of shimmering gold that almost ached with life and beauty as he took it in his hand and held it. He looked down at the gems still laid out in front of him and finally selected a single shimmering emerald that glistened and blazed with the same lightning-life that he found in Larxene's eyes.

He was very delicate as he parted the gold and set it in, letting the gold creep over it in gentle, looping spirals as he held it. He would show them both to her soon. He couldn't wait any longer. He had waited and watched and stood by long enough.

_Larxene._

_...  
_

In another world, deep in the darkness, as Larxene slept in the deepest of sorrows, she heard his voice and smiled.


	111. A Strength like Stone

(Okay, this is kind of a long chapter, but there's a lot of geology geekery and exposition about the necklace from Lexaeus. I wanted to show my work. ^^;

All right, I'm going to cut to the chase.

Where the hell is everyone?

Like, I mean, I know I haven't been updating. I'm sorry. Broken computers, parental problems, increasing mental instability due to writing rape trauma, more parental problems, etc. Which is no excuse. But it's also kind of what happened.

And I know that sometimes a bit after coming back, it's like waking up after vacation; everyone's all shuffly and sleepy. But it's been a coupla chapters now, and...well, a few people have been reviewing. But some people who have favorited or alerted or I miss from old reviews haven't shown up in a long time.

And this is gonna sound bitchy, so I apologize in advance. But...

I seriously worked my ass off on this arc. Like, more than I think most people reading this understand. I effectively dragged out emotions in regards to something I never wanted to acknowledge and threw them down on paper. I put myself through emotional and mental hell to get the most raw and visceral story I could possibly deliver, not only as closure but as a way to showcase my demons and put them in their place. I poured my heart and soul into this arc.

So even if it's a simple, "I like this, it's great because of blah" or "oh my god you are a horrible writer go die also Marluxia is a creepy Yandere" I'm totally cool with that. But please give me something.

I get my best ideas from feedback; it helps me work out how people feel about the story and thus how I could manipulate it in new and different ways. So you all speaking up is not for nothing. It really helps me learn about my work. So please do drop a line. I don't bite-slash-eat my enemies. :3

Despite my aforementioned bitching, woo yay I got six hundred reviews :D Thanks to the people who did review! You make me feel so much better about myself and my work. :3

So there you are. ^^;

Okay btw, since a few people asked, my friend code on Black is 4856 5744 6608. Under the name Ari, obviously. xD But yeah, add me if you wish. :3

Don't worry, it's not over yet. Few more chapters. (Joy, right? Haha, sorry.)

All righty then. Don't own KH.

Dedicated to all of my reviewers. Thanks, y'all.)

* * *

Lexaeus came home at the stroke of midnight. The whole world was quiet; not even the slightest bit of life or light remained inside the castle. That was all right with him. He would prefer not to come home in a showy blaze of glory. He couldn't startle her or frighten her. Even after all this time, it was her choice as to whether or not she would accept him.

He crossed the pure white marble floors of the castle, traversing the floors until he came to her room. He debated going inside, but the part of him that still worried and wanted to watch over her won out in the end.

He opened the door with a soft click, crossing the room as quietly as possible before going to sit on the windowsill. The massive bay window was barely enough to hold him, but he managed.

He turned back to face her, her pale, heart-shaped face illuminated by the light of Kingdom Hearts. He ached to reach out and touch her; to cross the room and share her bed, holding her gently against his chest until she fell asleep in his arms, knowing that he was watching over her, as a hero was wont to do.

But other men had come before him, villains all, and where had he been? What kind of hero was he?

Lexaeus shook his head and clenched his fists. He would simply have to be the most patient of heroes; the kind that came in and picked up the pieces of life after all was said and done.

He could not undo damage. He could only heal it.

He truly hoped it was enough.

He sighed and smiled at Larxene for a single, slow second.

"Sleep well, my angel." He murmured. "All will be well when you wake."

Lexaeus closed his eyes and rested, finally giving in to his exhaustion as he gripped his ring as a reminder of the battle he still had to fight.

...

Larxene didn't wake up until around noon. Lexaeus had woken up around eight, still nervous, but he settled for drifting off into small naps, opening his eyes every so often to assure himself that she was asleep. He would let her come to him; if she awoke to him standing over her bed, she might get the wrong idea, and everything would be ruined...

He sighed softly and watched as she continued to rest, her face untroubled by stress or fear. It was beautifully innocent and sweetly serene, and he was overtaken with the urge to kiss her as he watched her lips part ever-so-slightly. He shook himself of the notion almost immediately, knowing that a daydream wouldn't help him.

Lexaeus took a small puzzle out of his pocket and began to toy with the links, fiddling with the bright silver rings as he smiled, watching them clink and jingle together. He was so lost in the simple little game that he didn't notice Larxene wake up, stirring softly as she saw him in the windowsill, illuminated by the pale lavender light of the darkness' morning.

She was so quiet that he still attended to his puzzle, trying to work out the one last link in the chain, as she padded over to him slowly.

It was only when she put her hands over his and fastened the last link for him that he looked up and met her eyes.

He didn't speak. He didn't have anything to say yet. She was standing over him and smiling and at that moment it was enough.

"Missed you." She finally said, and the honesty and regret in her tone was enough to make him really and truly understand that despite her fear and his hesitation, she needed him...as he needed her. He laughed quietly and stroked her hands, toying with her delicate fingers with gentle care as he looked her in the eyes and smiled back.

"Missed you too." He confessed. She nodded, leaning in close so their foreheads met; Lexaeus rejoiced quietly at the feel of her, finally understanding that even the smallest of contact was enough to make him understand why he had done so much and fought so hard to be her hero.

"I have something for you." He said. He didn't know how to phrase it; Dilan could have written spiels of romance and promises of eternal desire and want, but he was nowhere near as verbose. It was why he had made the necklace; the earth was stronger than his words could ever be, and strength was what would soothe her and save her.

She blinked, and her eyes got wide. There was only the slightest hint of terror behind them, but it was enough to make him pause. If she backed out, he would understand. He just needed to hope, even if only for a moment, that she would accept the promise-and accept him.

"A-a..." She swallowed. "A, y'know...a present? For real?" She asked. "I mean, if you want something back I guess I could find it, I just-I don't want..." She bowed her head and looked away, still unable to say the word out loud. Lexaeus just shook his head as he reached into his pocket, hiding the necklace in his clasped fist.

"It is a gift. I gave you a gift because I wanted to see you happy. Your happiness is enough of a reward." He replied, his voice rough with something neither of them could comprehend, despite having understood it once, a long time ago. The emotion was so close, enough that if he tried he could almost remember the ideas and thoughts that came, but nothing stayed. Nothing except her.

He held out the necklace to her as it pooled out over both his hands to lay there, glimmering like a brilliant-bright shining web of light and stars. She outright gasped, her eyes the size of saucers as she looked up at him and shook her head, too stunned to speak. He just smiled.

"The gems are rather specific. If you'll allow me to elaborate..." He trailed off. She nodded, still watching him as he continued. "There are a lot of stones, but the first few here," he placed her hands over them and watched as she trailed her fingers over them in wonder, "are turquoise. They are symbols of protection and strength, and have ancient ties to most cultures. Personally, I believe it's because of the strength in them; civilization falls, but stones last an eternity..." He mused. She just listened quietly, enraptured, as he continued on to the next few gems.

These caught the light and glimmered, their pale bodies glistening with a multicolored sheen that seemed to change every time she looked at it; sky blue, rose pink, pale gold, bright red, and vivid green all clashed and combined and harmonized all at once like an orchestra of light and color. Lexaeus smiled.

"These are a little more delicate, but no less full of strength and life. Opals can be many things, which is why the colors are all so bright and yet mix so well. Most of the time, they mean strength, protection, hope, and healing." He said. Larxene tilted her head.

"Can you really place such value on stones?" She asked. Lexaeus shrugged, giving her a small smile.

"If you wish. It's more about the energy that you want them to have. The earth..." He sighed. "Take it from someone who knows; the earth is both the strongest and weakest of things on the earth. It is strength and eternity, devotion and protection...but without something to nuture it and hold it steady, giving it something to share all its gifts with...it will wither and die, becoming salt and ashes." He gestured to the stones, so strong but still so fragile.

"The stones are part of what the earth shares its gifts with. Thus, I believe they too can become receptors for the kind of energy people give them...and that they can give back the kind of energy people need." He explained. She nodded.

"That makes a whole lot of sense, I guess." She shrugged. "I dunno, people told me I was stupid a lot, and you were a scientist, so you-"

"You are not stupid." He said, cutting her off. "You are a lovely, brilliant, clever woman." He shook his head. "If you want to learn, I will teach you." He promised. "Is that enough?" He asked, unable to keep out the note of pleading desire in his voice. Larxene surprised him with a smile.

"It's more than enough." She said. "Thank you..." She shook her head and blushed slightly. "There's other stones, right?" She said, hastily changing the subject. Lexaeus smiled. He knew a subject change when he saw one, but he didn't pressure her. He continued on, placing her hand over the next stones. Her eyes got wide and she caressed the smooth stone, which shone under her touch.

"I must admit, I'm surprised myself. I thought this was obsidian, but it's rainbow obsidian; same thing, really, but in terms of meaning...it becomes a bit different. This is meant to combat fear and pain, and let you understand the hurt you have been through and let down your barriers." He said quietly. Larxene's hands became tight over the stones as she bit her lip. He reached out with a hand to caress her cheek, but pulled away at the last minute as he realized she would reject him.

"Please." She said.

That one word was all he needed.

He brushed the tears away from her cheeks, making sure that she was all right before he went back to the stones.

"Some of this seems to be simple obsidian, but that does not mean it's not strong; far from it. Obsidian is the shield that those of us who have been broken and hurt and torn apart can use to protect ourselves. It is a comforting blanket of the darkness, in a way; almost like the world we live in." He murmured. Her eyes widened and she nodded.

"I guess you're right." She said. "Or like sleep. A nice, good sleep that makes you feel better." She said, thinking out loud more than anything. She was surprised when he smiled.

"That makes a lot of sense. Seems like a perfectly rational explanation to me." He said. She blushed again, but this time she didn't look away and actually gave him a smile of triumph. He just smiled back and let her run her hands over the soft, velvety seaglass.

"These are simply beautiful." He confessed. "I just find them wonderful, and I wanted to share that beauty." He explained. Larxene nodded, putting her hands on top of his.

"Then that's...a good thing." She said. "Y'know, not everything has to have this deep, hidden meaning. Sometimes the surface is enough." She told him. "And they _are_ really pretty." She agreed. Lexaeus nodded, clasping her hand for a second before he moved her hands down to the last stones.

"These are emeralds. And they are..." He sighed. "Well, they are symbols of the heart. Of love, and emotion, and the strength to heal your pain." He coughed and looked away, and now it was his turn to blush. "As a few folk tales would have it, if the gift is given with nothing but true love in mind, it can bring the lovers closer and help them...understand each other. Learn from each other."

Larxene said nothing for a second.

"That's a good thing, I guess." She murmured. Once she fell silent again, Lexaeus scrabbled for an answer to give her, any answer at all.

"They are eternity." He blurted out. Larxene raised an eyebrow, confused. He inwardly groaned, but schooled his thoughts and tried to understand his own outburst.

"This is, I mean." He said, the realization finally dawning on him. "These stones-this necklace, this...this gift...they are a promise. Every single stone is a promise of devotion; of strength and protection, of honesty and understanding."

She was very quiet. Lexaeus was both rejoicing and panicking as she took the necklace from him and held it in her hands.

"All these stones, then...so many." She murmured. "So...each of these is like, a promise for a year?" She offered. Lexaeus almost laughed, but he knew she wouldn't understand it was from relief and not condescension.

He took her hands in his. She handed him back the necklace, and he reached out with it in his hands, looping it around her neck gently and securing the clasp before running a careful hand over the stones.

"No. Each of these is a promise that will last an eternity." He murmured. "I am yours. Forever and always. And that is _my _promise."

He held out the ring he had made. She was still staring at him in awe, so he continued on. "This is a ring I made for myself; if it pleases you, I would wear it to show the rest of the world that as I have made a promise to you, so you have made a promise to me." He rumbled softly. "But you are the one that makes that choice."

She was still silent, and for a second, he worried that all his work was in vain.

He should have known better.

She took the ring from him, kissed the emerald, and slipped it on his finger, being as delicate and careful as she could before she was satisfied with its place on his hand.

It was only when she reached up and brushed them away that he realized tears were streaming down his cheeks.

She just smiled and squeezed his hand tight.

"Lexaeus..." She began. "I need time to think. Please go let everyone know you're home and that I'm all right. I just...need to be by myself." She said. Lexaeus had already started to head out the door until she called, "Wait!"

He turned around to face her and saw that she was holding the stones in her hand, keeping her grip firm and strong.

"I'm not alone, am I?" She asked. "Not with this?"

Lexaeus shook his head, and a smile that told her that she understood everything spread across his lips.

"Never." He replied. "I made a promise."

The two of them left each other, but within both of them, a bit of the other's spirit remained.


	112. Peace

(Sorry this took so long; FFN decided "lol I don't want to work" for the whole week, and I'm still not sure why...but still, GOD LET ME UPDATE.

JESUS IT'S BEEN A WEEK. Or two. Or almost three. Fuck you FFN.

So this is it. This is the end of this arc.

I could say a ton of witty stuff about well, a lot of things. But I won't. Because this should speak for itself.

It's done. I'm done. :3 So hopefully things will move back on schedule! :D

Don't own.

Dedicated to everyone who climbed this climb with me. Thanks.)

* * *

Lexaeus simply slipped back into routine; he greeted his brothers at breakfast, left them only with a simple explanation of, "a gift," and headed down into the lab. Vexen and Zexion knew better than to bother him, and so they let him work at his puzzles as he kept an eye on them and offhandedly mentioned when it was time for lunch just to watch Vexen start violently and scurry up the steps. Zexion watched him go before he met Lexaeus' eyes and raised an eyebrow.

"What did she say?" He asked. Lexaeus shook his head.

"Far be it for me to reveal my lady's secrets." He said, voice prim as Zexion snorted with amusement.

"All right." He said. "Then what did you say?"

Lexaeus looked down at the puzzle-the same chain puzzle that he had been playing with when Larxene had awoken-and smiled.

"I made a promise." He murmured.

Zexion just squeezed his hand and nodded, disappearing into the darkness as Lexaeus undid the last snarl in the puzzle. With a small smile, he began to rearrange the bits and pieces, forming a perfect, unbroken circle with his strong, guiding hands.

* * *

Larxene hadn't left her room ever since Lexaeus had come home, not even to talk to Marluxia. They all understood why, certainly, but it did make everyone curious. The last few romances had been tumultous, but nothing quite like those two. Not even Vexen and Marluxia's constant bickering and sexual tension was as fascinating. It was like having their very own soap opera, and they loved every minute of it.

But they also knew that sometimes, there were some boundaries you didn't cross, and some gossip you didn't clamor for. That was why everyone else let her be; they sat and played games and chatted and ate and did generally nothing throughout the day, not once mentioning the two lovers as they enjoyed their lives, which were (mostly) free from such drama, (except not really.)

And so Larxene sat in a dark room, as dark as her box, and faced her demons. But this time, she was not frightened. In the darkness, there was a small light like a bright sun, with the glimmering stars that dripped from it, and the strength of a mountain holding her up on its shoulders. In the darkness there was not just pain and hate and fear and shame. Now there was a promise.

The Beast stayed in the back of her mind, like a pulsing, hateful monstrosity, (which in truth it was.) The only thing in her mind was Relane.

Larxene met her face-to-face, and for the first time, really got a glimpse of herself. There was pain in her eyes; the real, true pain of emotion. Behind the madness, there was terror. Behind the sadism, there was sorrow. Behind the nightmare that was Relane, there was herself. And that terrified her more than anything else could have.

"I'm scared." She murmured, unaware that she had been voicing her thoughts until Relane smiled.

"You always were." She replied. "I choked on your-our-fear. The darkness fed on the fear. And through the darkness, you lashed out. You slayed the Beast." She shook her head. "But that never works. There will always be a Beast, dumb bunny."

Larxene nodded. There was an edge of defiance and bravery creeping into her voice, and the necklace that was now her armor, her candle in the night, began to glow.

"I know that." She replied. "I've fought beasts before. I met my match in it-in the biggest Beast, I mean...but that's because I did it alone." She shook her head. "It wasn't just the Beast. He was the Hunter, too. He cornered me-us-and trapped us and caged us and left us alone, caught in the trap like the dumb bunnies that we were." She sighed.

"We were alone. You-me-what...whatever we were and are now. We were so very alone." She murmured. "And he knew it. That was why he hunted you-me-us. And that was why we stayed."

Relane was quiet. For the very first time, she seemed human. Completely, wholly, perfectly, human, with all the flaws and the triumphs and the madness and the goodness that it entailed. Larxene just continued on.

"So we stayed because we were scared of the outside world, and the shame and the fear-and no matter what, the outside world was worse than the Beast." She sighed. "And you were scared too, weren't you?"

Relane was still silent. Then she reached out a hand, and there were tears in her eyes as Larxene watched her dissolve, morph, and become a young, fragile little woman that she knew all too well.

The little girl that had been her reached out and grasped her hand.

"Always." She whispered. "Always."

Larxene pulled her into a hug.

"I hated myself so much." She whispered. "I blamed myself for everything, even the things I had no control over. How could I change his mind, or make a monster a man?" She shook her head. "And I made you sick. I made you wrong. I made you-me-us...I made you something horrible and twisted, when we were both just scared and alone."

There were flashes of her life now, playing out over the hateful darkness; a grim, grey childhood filled with insane mothers and hateful fathers, a teenage lifetime of sex and abuse because it was better than being at home and alone, and an adult life of torture and pain because she had already been broken when the Beast had found her, and he had ground the pieces of herself into the dust.

She watched it all, and her memory began to seep into the cracks of her shattered, broken mind. Some parts were ragged and rough as they came in, but the pain was an open, honest pain that would heal cleanly, without becoming infected and rotten.

Relane was changing, even as she held herself close; there was the little girl who had been caught with her panties down and been beaten with the fireplace poker, then the dream shifted and she was the teenager who had spread her legs for everyone while those not lucky enough to tear her open watched, and with a howl of pain she was the pale, shivering young woman who had fallen for the first man to cloak his cruelty in a candy-sweet shell.

Larxene was all of these things. And yet.

The dream shifted and changed. The darkness overtook it for awhile, and then there was silence. But then the small light broke through, and the soft clinking of the stones on her necklace helped mark the arrival of the rest of the dream.

There were strawberries then, and a small smile. A game of cards that ended in peals of laughter. A night spent watching movies and snuggling up with someone she trusted-something she had never done, and thus never realized she had been so starved for it until she finally tasted the intoxicating ideas of friendship and trust and love.

Relane started to become whole in her arms as these scenes played out; there were times when there were even some things she didn't recognize flashed by-the beating of a heart that sang with joy, the warmth of a fire as she laid asleep on a couch with someone who she couldn't see holding her close with nothing but love in his gesture, and the softness of a kiss that was only given with adoration. Those things were so real she could have reached out and touched them.

"This is peace, isn't it?" Relane whispered. "Peace for the both of us."

Larxene's voice was muffled as she tried to choke down tears.

"God, I hope so." She muttered, shaking her head and trying to remain composed through her sorrow. "You deserve it too, kiddo."

Relane took her hand again and squeezed it.

"We both do." She said.

Larxene didn't know what to say to that, so she just nodded. Relane seemed to understand, though, and she smiled.

"What about the Beast?" Larxene asked. Even now, his name was a hushed curse, and she wouldn't speak it aloud. Relane just shook her head.

"A good hunter can trap a beast. An even better one can slay it." Her eyes were sharp as she looked up at Larxene. "So what are you?"

Larxene was quiet for a minute.

Then she laughed, drawing her knife and shaking her head.

"I'm the best fucking hunter in the universe." She said with clear certainty. Relane just watched as she faced down the malevolent pulsing hate-being of darkness and hatred and

say it

don't just open your eyes open your mouth

_You raped me._

The words tumbled from her mouth without her even noticing, but the cry of rage that followed rung in her ears as she drove the knife in deep, finally accepting the truth and purging it from her mind and her thoughts and her sorrows, digging her blade deep into the darkness as the promise shone like a guiding light, the brightest star of the night as she sank into its depths and came to terms with her life.

_You raped me. And I survived. I lived. _

_And I_

_caught_

_the_

_Beast._

And without another word, it was done.

There would always be some of the malevolent, hateful darkness; no soul could escape scars. But now, with the pain cleansed by the promise and the blade and her own grit and determination, she had won. The wound had healed.

She turned back to Relane, and her cocktail dress was gone. Instead, there was a large white tee shirt and plain black jeans complementing her frame-the sort of natural kind of clothes that she had always loved to wear. The kind of clothes she would wear, rather than what the Beast would make her wear.

The dream shifted, and the little girl in a blue sundress smiled up at her with a gap-toothed grin. The dream shifted again, and a teenager in a tattered grey shirt smiled at her, the pain in her eyes masked by grateful love and the promise of a brighter future.

The dream shifted once more, and Relane stood there again, whole and human and real. She was the past, but she was also the strong woman that had come from it-no longer the hunted, frightened little bunny that she had chased down in her nightmares.

"Thank you." She whispered. "You saved us."

Larxene didn't say anything. She just hugged Relane tight once more.

"Dream." She whispered. "Dream of the future you'll have; my present. Dream of a good man, because he's there. Your sun is rising. Open your eyes and watch for it. He'll find you."

Relane shook her head and gripped Larxene's shoulders tightly.

"What about you?" She asked.

Larxene pulled away and gave her one last smile before disappearing into the darkness.

"The sun has already risen for me." She replied, gripping her necklace. "And I ought to go greet it."

It wasn't until the night had fallen that Lexaeus received a knock at his door. He got up to open it, only to find Larxene standing in his doorway, looking happy and hopeful and more alive than he had ever seen her. The joy he felt at seeing her so brilliant and full of life was only enhanced when she reached up and threw her arms around her neck, just so she could whisper into his ear,

"For the very first time, I dreamed." She murmured. "And I dreamed of you."

Lexaeus didn't move for a minute. Then, with a smile, he relaxed and held her tight in his embrace, no longer afraid to touch her.

"What a coincidence." He murmured. "I have _always_ been dreaming of you."


	113. Anniversary

(The only reason I'm updating is because it's One Great Circle's first anniversary. *Confetti* Honestly...

Anyways, stuff happens, beginning of a new arc, I'm sad and bitter and I don't want to bitch so I'm going to ignore my own issues and insecurities and indescrepancies in favor of presenting y'all with a new chapter. Just review this time, kay?

Seriously, I don't update regularly anymore because people aren't reviewing; I have a few devoted reviewers, and I love you all, but c'mon guys. Care a little more? Especially last chapter; I slaved my ass off emotionally and mentally over that arc, and that conclusion chapter was, in my opinion, one of the best things I've ever written for anything ever, and I didn't really get the sort of outpouring I wanted. Yes I'm a needy, clingy bitch. I apologize in advance for being a whiny bitch, but as I have said over and over, I tore myself open and impaled myself on a pike for that shit, and the conclusion...eh. Whatever. No one really cares, so~

Anyways, in more amusing rambly things, christ I've been watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic more than anyone my age-or anyone, ever-should. But who cares? PINKIE PIE FOR LIFE. :D

Seriously, she's so cool. I caught a Ponyta and named her Pinkie Pie for that purpose and that purpose alone. That horse is /awesome./ Although personally I'm also partial to Rainbow Dash and Applejack, but Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy and Rarity obviously have their special places in my heart, and-look, can I just say I love all of them? GOD. Watch that show. Seriously it's awesome. It doesn't sound like it would be, but it is. Beyond reason.

Also I have realized, in the advent of me throwing my hands up in the air and saying, "you know what Marvel I don't lactate money or diamonds from my nipples, so you can kiss my ass," I now stalk comicscans daily, and have realized I may have accidentally totally fallen in love with Deadpool, despite him being horribly scarred and also kind of completely insane. This is my cup of giving a fuck and it is empty.

Oh and Billy and Teddy. But that's a given; they are so adorable it makes my teeth ache. Plus Billy and Teddy's Excellent Adventure, anyone? Admit it, you'd go see that. Hell I'd direct it.

Anyways, it's funny to retroactively realize you were a huge dork as a child; as geeky as I am now, if anything, nothing has changed; I have ALWAYS been a comic book fan, even if I never called myself that. When you are inconsolable for a week and cry for two hours straight upon finding out that Cap is dying, no matter how old you are, you're a geek.

Plus I had a huge crush on Spiderman. Who DIDN'T have a crush on Spiderman?

Although now I like Tony more than I did as a kid; Iron Man bored me when I was little, because I was like "yawn he's an angsty slutbag with a robot suit laaame gonna watch Cyclops waste shit with his eyeballs." EIGHT YEAR OLD ME: A TRUE CONNOISSEUR.

I think it has more to do now that he's an angsty ho-bag and also super gay with Cap. That makes the SIXTEEN year old me sit up and pay attention. ^^;

Anyways, too long don't read: Pinkie Pie is the best, Tony is a slut, I have no money to keep up with comics. The end!

Also now it's time to ramble on about OGC's anniversary. Hang on to your butts, folks.

Anyways...I'm sure people are going to want this big, in-depth sort of "what caused you to write this omg" thing, but the truth of the matter is that it was never supposed to get this big; it was only supposed to be a series of vignettes and oneshots and drabbles about their lives before Senayax, but once the world sort of...opened up in front of me, for want of a better explanation, things got more in-depth and I started to dig deeper into everyone's lives and personalities and souls, and then it was like a bunch of pieces falling into place, and I knew I had a story on my hands.

So in the end, this was all about me taking a look at the characters I had totally and utterly butchered, canon-wise, and said "wow, you know what would be a good idea? Making them even MORE not like their canon selves."

But frankly, what did Nomura ever DO with them? 358/2 days doesn't count, that game and its stupid shitfuck Mary-Sue bitch can go burn, and besides, it was written by someone who WASN'T Nomura and is also a bloody fangirl-and I say this AS a fangirl; she's just one of those types that...ugh! Way to totally cock everyone up-

Okay, I digress. Point remains. There wasn't really much..._done _with the Organization, per se; sure, they were villains, sure, they did bad guy stuff and probably kicked puppies off screen or whatever, but he had so much potential character development to give and instead withheld it and let them starve as characters. I totally took it and ran with it, and you can definitely argue that I have done a horrible job and have completely butchered their characters and blah blah blah, but let's get real; there wasn't much character there to begin with.

So I essentially took a foundation and built up on it my way. It might not be Nomura's way, but it is my way, and it's a way I'm glad I went. (If that makes sense.)

That's what I wanted to do, in the end; I wanted to show that this wasn't just a silly little romance story with everyone else being supporting characters for the romantic couple; I wanted to give reasons to their actions, and breath and life and meaning to who they were, heart or not. And that was why OGC was made after Fill the Moon; because to me, they were real, and for me, they deserved a place for me to explain the world and paint it up anew, taking the blocks Nomura made and building them into something that is, at its heart, wholly and fully mine.

So yeah. I hope that it's been a good ride, and it'll continue to be a good one. Thanks for sticking around. ^^

(The worst part about that speech? I'm sure I'll come up with something much better later. But hey.)

Also, for those of you still paying attention; yes, Larxene and Lexaeus and Marluxia and Vexen are getting their own IJCDIS; although Larxene and Lexaeus' is genuine character development, so I'll let you know when it's written. :3

Don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Dedicated to everyone who has ever even happened across this story; to all the people who have read it and hated it or read it and loved it or read it and said "wow this chick likes gay guys." (To be fair, she likes her lesbians too. :3) Dedicated to EVERYONE.)

* * *

All Axel had to do was hope.

He was so _tired. _All the time, it was this; this sick aching that made him hurt and scream. Every nerve sung an acute, vicious pain with every step he took. It was like an orchestra of the end of the world playing out inside every atom of his body.

He just wanted to rest.

It had been a month. Or more; he wasn't really sure, didn't give a damn. It had been a month or more, and Roxas was nowhere to be found.

He wanted to sleep.

Axel hadn't slept in a week. He was starting to see things. Koi fish, lucky white koi fish with scales on their back that looked like kisses, swimming through the air as it pulsed with pale white rain and pure, clear little bubbles that hummed and sang when he popped them. The waves of an ocean only he could see would lap around his feet and he would hear Roxas' voice. So gentle and soft and quiet that it was like the sound of the sky as the clouds moved around as the world turned around him.

He was so hungry.

It had been at least two weeks since he had eaten more than the occasional fruit or some other thing he could find and steal; where his body had once been defined and lovely, the ribs were beginning to show and his hips were beginning to dwindle. He hoped Roxas would still think he was beautiful. He had to believe Roxas would love him.

He shivered with the cold. Ever since he had begun to feed on the darkness, he had started to shake. He couldn't stop sometimes, not until he was trembling on the hard-packed earth and screaming with pain. He would beg and plead for Roxas in those moments. He was so tired.

Axel looked out on the skies of his old home-Hollow Garden, Radiant Bastion, whatever they called it now-and watched the sun set.

He fell asleep as the stars came out. Each and every one of them twinkled above him like a small smile.

Axel awoke in the center of the dreaming again.

He sat up and looked around eagerly. The circle of starglass still sparkled around him, and his picture was still there, his arms spread to protect Roxas from all the pains and sorrows of being their precious messiah, the Keyblade Knight...

_I'm so proud of you._

He almost screamed with ecstasy as he heard the voice. He turned around with a sharp snap to see Roxas standing in front of him, smiling up at him with an innocent angel grin.

_You're the greatest, Axel._ He said happily._ You're so brave and strong... _He sighed. _I wish I could be like you. I wish I could get out of here. But I'm not strong enough...and I know you're hurting, and... _He trailed off as Axel hugged him tight.

"No, Rox." He soothed him, stroking his hair. "It's all right. I'd do anything for you." He kissed his forehead and smiled. "Just keep fighting, okay? Just..." He sighed. "You're the only hope I've got. You're all I've got_, period_." He shook his head. "Be strong, Roxas. Be strong so I can be strong too. Okay?"

Roxas nodded, hugging him tight.

_Yes... _He agreed. _But I'm still so proud of you_. He smiled. _Don't forget, okay?_

"I'll never forget you." Axel promised. "Not a single thing about you."

Roxas nodded. Axel could already see him fading, and he called out in a panic, desperate for Roxas to hear, "Roxas, don't worry! I'm coming to find you! I swear!"

_I know._ The voice whispered, the last whisper in the darkness before the dreaming faded and Axel was left to walk among the stars again, _I have hope_.

Axel was smiling as he woke up, staring up at the sunshine and laughing softly with delight.

"So do I, Roxas. So do I."

* * *

The night fell and passed with ease. For a rare, shining moment, there was no stress to be had within the World that Never Was, and everyone was genuinely at peace. Everyone was in bed or getting ready for it, and the whole castle seemed prepared to drift off, lazy and content.

Xigbar yawned, stretching out in bed as Demyx cuddled next to him, still content and glowing from the aftermath as he began to drift off.

"I'm really proud of you, kitten." Xigbar murmured, ruffling Demyx's hair and giving him a small smile. "That was sweet. Crazy, but sweet." He sighed. "I just hope Lexaeus knows what he's doing." He shook his head. "We've lost enough members as it is."

Demyx nodded, snuggling closer and pulling the blankets up around him. "Do you think Axel will ever come back?" He asked. "I miss him."

Xigbar shrugged, pulling Demyx into his embrace as he leaned back against the pillows.

"I don't know." He confessed. "Demyx..." He trailed off as Demyx perked up, remembering something Xigbar had mentioned.

"Hey, wait. You said you'd seen Keyblade Knights before, right?" He asked. "What were they like?"

"Like atom bombs." Xigbar replied without the slightest hesitation.

Demyx blinked, shocked. Xigbar continued on, his single golden eye clenched tight as if to ward off the memories. Demyx put a gentle, cool hand on his shoulder as Xigbar shook his head.

"All of them, Demyx. Like gods, they were; the kind of gods who were given wings of wax and thrown right into the path of the sun. And just before they fell, they were like stars." He sighed. "I saw a lot of them die. Some of them were barely out of their teens. Hell, some of them weren't even that lucky. And we just _let them die_." He snarled. "Because it's fucking _war, _and because when one side has the heart of the Universe batting for its fucking team, you stop and pay fucking attention. And you don't mourn them until you're at peace and the world is all right and lovely and you realize you killed _kids_. Little fucking _kids_ who were just chosen by the wrong sort of higher power."

He sighed, and Demyx saw a little bit of shadow steal over his eyes. "But the worst part is when you realize that you were doing the right thing."

Demyx didn't know what to say. An idea occurred to him suddenly, and he finally asked, "What about this one? Roxas, I mean."

Xigbar was quiet for a few minutes. He hooked a strand of hair around his finger and began to twirl it, twisting it around his finger as he breathed slowly, in and out until Demyx thought he would go insane. Then he finally spoke.

"He won't end up like that." Xigbar promised. "No more kids are going to die, Demyx. I'll die before I let that happen." His gaze hardened and his eyes narrowed. "I don't care _who _this kid is. I don't care if he's the messiah or the fucking antichrist. If Axel took the time to drag home the only hope we have for Kingdom Hearts, I will not let this fail. I will not let this kid lose himself to the darkness. _No more kids are going to die." _

His shoulders slumped as he said it, and he buried his head in his hands. "No more kids have to die, Dem." He murmured. "I'm so tired of it."

Demyx just nodded, holding him close as he tugged him under the covers and shut off the light, nuzzling his neck and murmuring soft comforts as Xigbar fell asleep, dreaming of melting wings and broken keys.

...

Sora sighed and slung his Keyblade over his shoulder. He was tired, and for the past few nights, sleep hadn't been eager to come to him. He had dreamt of things he had never seen in his life; people in black coats, a blond boy with eyes that shone like stars, and endless great walls of leaping fire reaching up to swallow the moon. He always awoke from those dreams with tears in his eyes, though he couldn't understand why.

The expanse of sky and land spilled out before him. Hollow Bastion; the last stand. He could hear the singing pain of those that had fallen to the darkness here; his Keyblade hummed with their sorrows and miseries. It was almost too much to bear.

Almost.

And in fact, he would have thrown up his hands and given into despair a long time ago, save for two people who meant more to him than anyone else in the entire world-no, in _all _the worlds.

Riku and Kairi needed him. And he would sooner die than turn his back on the people he loved.

Sora summoned up all his courage, tried his best to block out the pain, and charged forward towards the castle.

Axel smiled with a thin, weak grin as he surveyed his old home. Hollow Bastion; the last place in all the worlds that he had looked. Even though it was for Roxas, the memories were too painful. He had grown desperate, however, and he couldn't let his boy slip through his fingers. Not even the songs of the damned and far-gone could stop him. Not even when the town he had loved and been a part of lay dead under his feet.

He moved as quietly and quickly as a cat through the darkest midnight's mist. He just had to keep going, and for that, he needed the peace and quiet of open air and his own thoughts.

It was that willful repression of all the pain which meant that he didn't feel Roxas until he was almost too late.

His eyes snapped open, and he snarled with savage triumph. He was _here. _Right _here. _

Axel flew down the cliffs and steppes like an avenging angel, tattered black cloak fluttering behind him as he flew like the wind and burned like the air, focused only on the one thing he had been searching for all this time.

"ROXAS!" He screamed, and his voice was like the roar of the inferno. "_ROXAS_!"

The soft murmuring whispers of those that had fallen to the darkness reached out to him, clung to him, but he would have none of it. All that mattered was the brilliant shining star that lay before him.

As he summoned up all his strength, all his love, he did his best to block out the pain and charged forward towards the castle.


	114. Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad

(I think this is another short chapter due to pacing issues, which sucks since I was holding the update back to pad it. So apologies in advance!

Also, to those of you that sent such amazingly lovely reviews...

You're amazing.

Seriously, I keep writing this fic because I really believe that people care about it. Seeing time and time again that yes, they do, makes me very very happy. Thank you so very much for sticking with me throughout all my mood swings, slackerisms, etc, and other such assorted nasties. It makes me feel like a good writer...and a loved one. :3

Anyways, on to less schmaltzy stuff; the parallels between Riku and Axel are actually coming to a forefront, which I hadn't intended for per _se, _but it works so well that I'm not really complaining.

Also both of them are highly Yandere. To be honest, I like the base aspects of Yandere-someone willing to do anything for their loved one. Once the creepy psychological aspects and stuff are added on, then it does become NICE BOAT, buuut the core parts-someone who wants nothing but to keep their loved ones safe-appeal to me for psychological reasons. Plus, it's a justified Yandere-ism; being a Keyblade Knight in the OGCverse is like painting a bulls-eye on your forehead, (and hell probably in the real KH verse too), and being a NOBODY Keyblade Knight is like that bulls-eye plus a neon thong with a "SHOOT HERE" sign painted over the crotch.

That's either some small font or a big thong, upon thinking that through too much. I need to stop thinking things through.

Anyways, in good news, Marvel is owned by Disney who shows up around here on occasion when I remember I'm an animation geek and do enjoy Disney, which means at some point the Organization is going to Fight Crime (and the forces of evil!)

Oh and I want a Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt crossover because that show is essentially pure, distilled Japan.

And at some point people are getting giant robots.

All I can see right now is Oprah; "YOU get a robot! And you get a robot! And YOU GET A ROBOT!" and just

I love you daytime cable

Also my mind is a weird sick place. Ohwell.

Anyhoodle, this chapter is essentially "Yandere: the Musical!" Merry Christmas everyone.

Also loling forever at Marvel being like WE'RE ALL DARK AND REALISTIC AND FR SRS BECAUSE WE SET OUR STUFF IN NEW YORK and now they're owned by Disney, and I'm sure this joke has been made before, but it's Disney!

Actually nevermind, Disney can get pretty goddamned grim...

Although the idea of Disney!Herc meeting up with FABULOUS!Marvel-Herc...

Anyways, before my brain decides to run away screaming into the night, I just want to say again how awesome every one of you are for reviewing and caring so much. I'm so happy, seriously...thank you. :3

Don't own.

Dedicated to you. Yes, you. YOU get a giant robot!)

* * *

Somewhere deep inside of him, he recognized this man. But that part of him was so far down it was like an entirely different person.

So when the shadowed, tattered, starving and desperate guardian angel faced him down, Sora only understood fear.

He drew his Keyblade and shivered, trying not to show fear in front of the man. Despite the strikingly odd appearance of the redhead, however, he didn't seem eager to fight, nor fearful of his blade. His eyes shone with something Sora could not place or name, and he had reached out his hand to him.

"Roxas? Hey, buddy. Time to come home." He murmured. Sora shook his head.

"You've got the wrong person! I'm not Roxas!" He shouted. Even as he said it, there was a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he didn't understand why-all he knew was that somewhere inside of him, he felt like he was lying.

Blue eyes shone back at Axel; a mouth screaming _let me out, _the warmth of the sun on his skin, the blond hair of an angel-

Axel couldn't take it anymore. He had gone too long with just trying to be content with watching from afar, getting only the faintest scraps of soul, of self, the little motes of light that meant Roxas was close by. He didn't have the mental capacity to try to stop and explain-the only thing in the world that existed in that moment was Roxas, even if he was deep down trapped under the soul of another bright-eyed little boy.

"Roxas?" He grabbed Sora by the shoulders, his eyes mad with fear and longing. "Roxas, come on! Open your eyes, Roxas! I'm right here! I came to take you home! Roxas, please! Come home with me! _ROXAS!" _

Sora was screaming and there was fear in his heart but there was something else-something alive that pulsed with want and need and desire-something that knew this man, recognized this man, knew deep in his heart and soul that _this was his man _and he had to get out.

"Open your eyes." He whispered, his voice suddenly falling flat as his eyes went dead and clear with tears. "Please, Roxas. Please come home. I need you."

Sora backed away, eyes filled with fear before he turned and bolted, tears streaming down his cheeks as his heart sang with something he didn't understand and his body grew heavy with grief.

...

Axel stayed stock still with the pain of rejection for a long, slow minute. Part of him understood that Roxas was still trapped inside this boy-S-O-R-A?-and he wasn't able to get out, but...it still hurt. It hurt to be left behind by the boy he had been searching for-rejected, after all this time and all this searching, and how _dare _that little interloper take him _away-_

He inhaled slowly, trying to get over the false pain before it drove him crazy. That hadn't been his Roxas. But Roxas was very, very close, and just on the verge of breaking free-otherwise, how would he have been able to call for him?

Axel looked out over the glimmering skyline that blazed with the acidic colors of the sunset reaching down and sinking into the sapphire cliffs, enveloping themselves in the scorched earth. A small, sprightly wind whipped around him as he looked around before settling on the decrepit, ancient remains of the castle before him. His eyes narrowed, and a fire lit up over his face, trailing down his hair and back like a war chief's cape.

He had to follow that boy. Within him lay Roxas, and Axel would be damned before he got Roxas taken from him. Not after all this time. Not now, not ever.

He bolted off for the castle, his fire blazing like flags of glory behind him as he summoned his weapons and flew forward as a phoenix into the night.

* * *

Within the castle, darkness stirred. The little broken places-the pieces of somewhere that once, a father and his sons had belonged to, and ruled over like the just and wonderful men that they were. These broken pieces were patched together slowly, painstakingly, by the darkness, and with each time a piece fell apart again in defiance, the ghosts of the past stirred, as if in recognizement, acknowledgement of the pain.

This was a place of darkness that wanted nothing to _do _with the darkness. In its existence, it defied what it was, and as such had become ramshackle, forsaken-a place where the light, against all odds and in the grip of the impossible, wanted so very badly to stand in memory of the men that had once taken care of it and called it home. This was a place where the darkness had sunk in, deep and dreadful, and yet could not stop the pieces from fracturing rather than staying together under the dark, unruly might of pain and sorrow.

This was Hollow Bastion.

This was where Riku had come, bringing Kairi with him. The irony of that was this; within these walls, the whole castle-the whole world-cried out, _Princess? _so desperate for a response, so grateful in the way that the earth must be grateful for the sunlight that their princess had come home.

But the darkness had gotten to her too, and taken away what had made their princess so perfect and beautiful and warm. And despite her presence-no, in fact, because of her presence-the darkness had been taking over more and more now, because the hope of Hollow Bastion was faltering, seeing their princess as dead as the sapphire earth and stone below the castle.

Kairi did not stir within the dark depths of the castle without hope, but she was not the only occupant.

Riku shivered, feeling sick, cold, and alone. He wanted to go home. Even though he was doing his best to protect Kairi, he was so very, very tired. The darkness hurt, despite the power it gave him. It made him ache to go home and sit on the warm sands of Destiny Island and listen to the soft sounds of the waves sighing against the shore as Sora and Kairi snuggled up on either side of him, their arms wrapped around him as he held them both tight, keeping them safe and sound.

What had happened to that dream?

No, not a dream. Reality, then; he remembered days like that. But no more-now days were filled with darkness and drudgery and dead girls in his arms, silent and stone-cold.

He had walked away from that reality-that-was-now-a-dream and done a bad thing, like he was usually the first to do. Sora was too scared to reach out and grab the monster by the throat-that had always been his task to do. And he had done it with a smile on his face, because if it made Sora and Kairi happy, he would bring the world to its knees and tear it apart for them to rule. This monster just happened to run a little deeper and smile a little darker, and for once Riku had lost.

No. Not lost. Kairi was still here. Kairi was-

Well...Kairi was dead. Except not really, maybe-Maleficent told him that this was the only way to keep her safe from the threat of the Keyblade-the one that Sora, his precious Sora, held in his hands now. So the question remained; who was left to protect?

Kairi was dead, and if not dead then mostly-dead-Riku didn't really concern himself with semantics.

Sora didn't want to be near him anymore.

Riku stifled a sudden, harsh sob that tore its way out of him without warning. He looked around, sure for an instant that it had to be someone else crying-after all, what man cried like that?

No. That pain was uniquely his, it seemed.

Riku sighed. It was true, as much as he hated to admit it; Sora just didn't want to be near him. He recoiled at the sight of him last time that they had met-justifiably? Possible. Still, it hurt, thinking of the boy who had always come to him with tears in his eyes when he got a scraped knee or had a nightmare or just wanted someone to hold him who he knew would keep him safe, running away from him and backing away in disgust.

Even after all this time, Riku just wanted to save him. But he couldn't-not as long as that Keyblade stayed in Sora's hands. That was a clear sign that Sora didn't need him anymore, and it hurt. The reminder that yes, for once, Sora had been the one to take the monster by the throat...

He didn't want that to be Sora's job. Not out of selfishness, not entirely, but fear-if he could barely hold on in this dark and lonely place that seemed to lose hope every second he walked its halls, how could Sora? Bright little Sora, the greatest spark in the darkness?

Riku wanted to keep Sora safe. He wanted to hold that little spark and keep it safe and sound, and more importantly, _alive. _But he couldn't go to Sora now. Not when he was like this. Not when he was a monster.

Riku closed his eyes and turned away from the sunset, heading back to his room. He shouldn't have left Kairi alone for that long anyway, not when Maleficent would jump at the chance to take her for herself.

He opened the door softly, like it mattered if he was quiet, and crept across the room, pushing back the delicate blanket he had placed over her in an odd attempt to keep her warm.

He looked down at Kairi's cool, still body, and held it close. He couldn't save Sora-Sora didn't want to be saved or protected, like he had when they were little. But Kairi was trapped in this hell, same as him, and he wasn't going to let her go. If she was the only one he could protect right now, that was fine. Two out of three wasn't bad.

He stroked her hair and sat at the edge of the world, waiting for Sora to come and save them both.


	115. The Heart of Her World

(All right, new chapter. :3 Few things first, to cover from last time-

Riku/Kairi/Sora is all but canon even as we speak. However, it is a completely consensual relationship with equal love on all three sides; that's the only way I can really ship more than two people anyway, so you're good.

Two; as much as I deride Sparklepants Stalker, Axel totally did the same thing on occasion-he didn't know that, ironically enough, if he had just let Sora get eaten, he would've had Roxas all to himself a lot earlier. Neither did Roxas, which is why he cried out for Axel to save him in situations like that.

Axel: Big Damn Hero.

Why yes, I do think Kairi got shafted with the dickery due to Japanese sexism and stupidity. You can't tell?

And yes I am aware her Keyblade is flowery and barf. But that thing is literally the symbol of a woman who is the living embodiment of an entire freaking _world. _It is not going to be a flowery, airy little thing.

(Yes, I know that Princesses of Heart are only just "completely pure beings" and all, but logically, they would make /great/ rulers, even if just as figureheads. Plus, since the Keyblade is, for me, a symbol that the wielder has been chosen by their world to defend it, that plus pure heart=embodiment of universe.)

Consider this; Radiant Garden has fallen to the darkness and risen up again as Hollow Bastion-a broken, ramshackle place, but strong enough to resist the creeping swell of darkness. It has stood the battering of the Heartless and Maleficent, and (in this continuity) Hollowmoon. That is not the world of a weak woman, nor a weak Keyblade.

If I can find a scanner at /somebody's/ place, I'm sketching it out and scanning it. For now, just assume it's the same sapphire as the cliffs of Hollow Bastion, with paopu-fruit shaped points and a single flower at the end. There's some other assorted junk on there, but that should help conjure an image.

Hell if I have to I'll draw it out in MSpaint. It'll be shitty, but it's better than nothin'.

Right, so anyways, guess who's talking in the kids' heads. Hint: History repeats.

SORA: JESUS TERMINATOR.

The J-2000?

Yeah, anyways, I tried to keep this as in character as possible, and I hope it shows. Plus yes I totally shoved off half of the game's "get to the end of the world" junk but whatever. Sorry! ^^; I preferred to do the character stuff, plus I mostly forget about how that went-haven't played KH1 in a good few years.

...Ew, am I that old?

Anyways, yeah, crippling age aside, I hope this chapter's up to snuff for everyone. :3

Don't own!

Dedicated to Ennio Morricone, because L'Arena was on repeat as I wrote most of this chapter, and contributes to a lot of the feel.)

* * *

Sora was breathing heavily as he reached the castle doors. The sorrow in his heart was still there, but it was something he could tuck safely away for the time being while he tried his best to figure out why he had reacted so strongly.

It was like...part of him recognized that man. And he didn't know why. But it wasn't just that deep-down part of him that did-Sora had seen him before. He didn't know where- he couldn't place places or name worlds, but there had been times-

He had been trapped in a swarm of Heartless, alone and scared, and it was like whenever he felt truly and deeply lost and alone, there would be a voice-no, _voices_-in his head.

_You'll be all right. He's coming for us. _

_Axel-_

The Heartless would turn to ashes around him, and he had never understood why- Firaga? Perhaps the Keyblade had a self-defense mechanism. Whatever the case was, those voices would leave him as soon as they came, which just left him even more confused, like a part of his heart wasn't even his own...

He shook his head and looked up at the castle. He was frightened- the encounter with the strange man he almost knew, plus the fact that Riku was there waiting for him just took him by the heart and tried to choke him, drag him down into the fearful darkness.

Riku...

Sora paused before opening the door. Riku was so angry at him. He knew that. Riku was in pain. He knew that too. Riku and Kairi...were both in pain, although for different reasons. He wanted them both to be happy and safe, but Riku didn't want Sora to save him. That actually made him smile with a bit of dry amusement; Riku's pride was getting in the way like always. He had always been so desperate to protect him and Kairi both, even at the cost of himself...

Sora wasn't a little kid anymore. And he sure as hell wasn't going to stand by and watch Riku destroy himself-not when he held this power...the power of the Keyblade...

He summoned the blade and held it in his hands, looking out at it and narrowing his eyes, focusing his determination all on the strength of his blade.

"I was chosen for a reason." He said, and his voice was loud and clear in the darkness that made up the castle. Somewhere, the darkness cracked and crumbled, and the hollow castle reached out longingly for a familiar light. "And if this Keyblade isn't enough to protect my friends and keep them safe, then if I have to fight the darkness with my bare hands, I will." His eyes shone as he took the blade and busted the door down, storming through the castle with his head held high.

"No more pain." He said. "No more suffering. No more hurting, Riku-no more tears, Kairi. You're getting saved whether you like it or not."

Somewhere in the deepest depths of the castle, the sleeping body of the princess stirred.

"So...ra...?"

Riku sighed and stroked Kairi's hair, kissing the top of her head.

"Let's hope so, sweetheart." He murmured.

...

Axel climbed the castle wall and slipped inside, trying not to think of the many other times he had done this with Isa by his side, sneaking in and messing around for the sheer joy of rule-breaking fun.

The end of the world lay inside this castle. And there, Roxas was waiting.

Axel took the first step off of where the sidewalk ended, and walked straight into oblivion.

...

At the end of the world, Sora was left with two options. The first, as he faced down a giant dragon, was to fight it head-on and possibly get severely wounded in the process. That was all right- after all, he was going to have to fight her at some point.

But then he saw Riku behind her with Kairi still in his arms. The very two people he had come to save, and they were right there.

So when Maleficent roared and spewed flames at him, the only thing he could do was raise his Keyblade up high and deflect the fire that came to burn him.

"_Get out of my way." _He snarled. "You're not what I came here for."

He bolted away from her, cutting down any Heartless stupid enough to try to stop him as he made the leap into the darkness and prayed that his friends would catch him.

For a second, it felt like the darkness was going to swallow him whole, and he panicked, his resolve weakening for just an instant as the darkness lapped hungrily at his heart, waiting for the chance to sink its claws in and tear him apart.

Then he felt a strong, firm hand reach out for him and bring him up into the light, before that same hand wrapped around his waist and pulled him close.

"Good to see you again." Riku muttered, face buried into the soft spikes of Sora's hair. "Missed me?"

Sora wailed, burying his face into Riku's chest and laughing with delight, hugging him so tight he thought his heart would burst.

"Yes, yes, god yes, I-"

They were both knocked off guard by Maleficent's harsh roar. Sora jumped, already back on his feet with his Keyblade in his hands, but Riku shook his head and stood up, facing her down by himself.

"Sora." He said, and his voice was the voice of an executioner. "Go. _Now._ I have to face this...have to...protect..." He shuddered, and Sora saw tendrils of darkness leaping up over his shoulders as he tried to keep his composure. He shook his head and tried to stand beside him; in the moment, he realized with a bit of dark humor, that Riku was still taller than him, after all this time. Riku held him back with a small frown on his face.

"I can't screw this up, Sora. I have to protect Kairi. I have to protect _you_. And I don't care _what _I have to do to make sure you're both safe." He said, drawing his blade with an audible hiss. "So go and make sure you're _both_ safe for me. Now move it!" He snapped.

Sora tried to protest, but Riku had already chased after Maleficent with the darkness trailing behind him like a shadow, murder in his eyes and a fierce, triumphant battle-joy in his gait. Sora turned back to Kairi and sighed. If the world wasn't at an end around them, this would have been a startlingly uncanny re-enactment of everything from his childhood, (minus the dragon.)

"So...I have to save us both?" He shook his head and groaned in a mixture of amusement and exasperation. "Oh, Riku. You never changed..."

Kairi stirred for an instant as he spoke, as if she was asleep and on the cusp of waking. His Keyblade appeared within his hands, and he stared at it, confused. It was glowing, and the voices were in his head again-

_Sora, come on! You're the only one that can do it! Wake her up, Sora!_

_Let the Keyblade guide you, Sora. You'll be okay. _

_Hurry it up, kid, I've got better things to do than coach you. Wake her up._

_...Let me out, Sora...open up your heart..._

"Yes, go ahead!" Maleficent roared from above him, her teeth bared in a triumphant snarl as she saw his conflict. "Release her heart, Keybearer! Go ahead and die with her!"

Sora watched, still reeling from the people in his mind and the dragon at his back as she flew down just in front of him, her burning, poisonous breath so hot it was almost making his skin blister. He was too frightened to move. Couldn't-

"_Get away from him_."

Riku was barely human at this point-there was darkness spilling from his body, crawling all over it, reaching in and out and darting under his skin before slipping out again, but he held his blade at Maleficent's neck despite the agony he was in. His body was shifting, cracking, changing, and he snarled with pain before managing to gasp, "Sora! Sora, don't-I can handle her, I can handle this-_DON'T YOU DARE, SORA!_"

Sora just gave him a weak smile. There were no tears in his eyes, nor fear or pain; he had made his mind up. This was about Kairi, and this was about Riku, both of whom depended on him to slay this dragon. For once, he would outdo Riku-

No...not outdo. Not best or conquer.

He was going to _save _Riku.

"Sorry, Riku." He murmured. "Looks like it's my turn to protect you."

He took his Keyblade and stabbed it deep inside his chest.

The world went black for a minute. There was no pain, just...

For a second, a little blond boy flickered in his mind. His eyes were made of stars and his smile was like the universe.

_Thank you. _He said. _I'm free now._

Sora's confused mind just let him pass, and like a bird fleeing a cage, he burst out of his body in a wave of light and sound.

At the explosion of light and sound, a few things happened all at once.

...

First; Riku's scream. It was the scream of a heart being torn to bits under the impending onslaught of loss and sorrow, and the broken pieces were quickly, efficiently, being mended with darkness, and for once, there was a voice in his head-

_Come, boy. Lose what I have lost. Come to me, for I understand your sorrow..._

There was another soft voice in his head as his screams continued and the universe rewrote itself around his bones and made him a god, but the voice was so full of pain as to be unrecognizable to his ears.

_Oh, Riku. I'm so sorry, Riku. _

A pause.

_They'll still love you. You just have to believe...don't turn into me, Riku. You can't walk my path, Riku-_

_He won't walk your path. _The thunderous voice resounded in his mind again, so full of triumphant hate, and Riku recoiled from it but his grasp was just so strong-

_He's my boy now. And you aren't there to _ruin it _this time._

_RIKU-_

The darkness ate away at his soul and all Riku could do was scream.

Within him, a single lonely angel hummed a chorus and watched the soul he had blessed with the world's most miserable burden turn to ashes and darkness in the mouth of the beast.

...

Second; Sora finally gave way, and the supernova inside of him imploded. He collapsed to the floor amidst a backdrop of Riku's hideous screaming, his death throes so anti-climatically quiet as tears began to slide down Kairi's cheeks.

Voices in his mind, too-absent one little boy, who had already fled that place for the city of stars.

_Hey. You strong enough yet? _The harshest voice within him had a gentle rasp to it this time, a momentary weakness.

_No. _The softest, gentlest voice within him responded. _It still hurts. Please-_

_It's okay. I'm not going. _The first voice responded.

_But...why? _The second voice asked.

_There's nowhere for me to go without you. _The first voice responded. _We're staying together. Even if that means we're trapped together._

A soft smile bloomed in Sora's mind.

Then-

Peace.

...

Third; Axel's roar of triumph, of joy and realization and vindication.

The city of stars-Roxas-that light had been him, had been Roxas, he was sure of it, and-

The beacon lit up the darkness, and finally, Axel saw where he needed to go.

He had lost himself to the darkness a long, long time ago. Now he just had to follow the light...

He reached out to the warmth and the comforting glow, and for an instant, he heard a soft, gentle laugh as the stars parted around him.

Then he was gone and the world went dark again.

...

Kairi blinked, sitting up and wincing with pain. Her eyes were still adjusting to the sights around her, and she felt almost sick, as if she had just gotten up after a really long nap and slept on something the wrong way.

"Sora? Riku?" She murmured. "Come on, did you guys really let me sleep on the floor?"

She looked around and saw that she was alone. Fear lanced her heart-panic made her mind cloudy, and she shuddered with pain. She stood up and tried to stay steady on her feet-harder than it looked, considering the state her body was in.

"Sora? Riku? Come on, you're scaring me-please?" She called out.

_Don't be afraid. _

She turned around and saw nothing but the endless sea of darkness. Her eyes narrowed, and she did her best to shift into a fighting stance despite her pain.

"Who's there?" She demanded. "Sora, this isn't funny! Knock it off!"

The voice came back, and this time she noted the feminine lilt to it. This couldn't be Sora or Riku-then who...

_You have my weapon. _Our _weapon. You see? You'll be okay. _

Kairi was confused beyond belief, but by the time she felt a comforting glow in her hand, she thought she might be starting to understand. Memories flooded back-a tall girl, sweet and gentle and kind, and flowers-

_Hello there, princess. _

The land sung to her then, and self-realization lit up her heart.

_We have waited for you, princess. We have been strong?_

The land around her-

so frightened and hopeful but so hesitant and they wanted her voice, but it was like her tongue was lost in her mouth-

_Don't be afraid. _The first voice repeated. _I stand with you._

So for the first time in ten years, the princess spoke to the land.

_Yes. _She said, and the child melted away from her for an instant to show the woman that she had become. _Yes, my child. You have been so very, very strong._

The rejoicing of the earth was not subtle or small; indeed, the mountains broke their backs for her, and the cliffs of the fallen land roared in recognition as her heart soared free and rose up into the skies of her world, her kingdom, and within the strength of the land that her heart was bound to and tasked to protect forever and always, a weapon formed.

This was her weapon. This was the might which she would wield to create hope for her people and rule. This was the blade that would open up the door to the light and banish the darkness. This was the burden and the joy that would remind her of who she was-as a warrior, as a princess, and as a friend.

A Keyblade settled into her hand as if it had been made just for her. Really, she mused as she raised the blade up, it had; but...

The first voice. The reason that there was a single perfect flower on this Keyblade, sapphire-blue and shining with the strength of the sea and sky.

_Aqua? _She thought, reaching out towards the voice. She didn't get a response.

She sighed and shook her head, turning around as she felt something tugging on her ankle. She jumped once she recognized it-a Shadow Heartless?

It squeaked softly and nuzzled her leg. She raised an eyebrow, confused. It was so friendly. Why-

She realized then that it had a Paopu charm around its neck. She dropped to her knees, shocked-couldn't have been, but-

"Sora?" She whispered. The little Heartless nodded, chittering softly. She would have laughed had the situation not been so insane.

"How do I fix this?" She murmured, thinking out loud moreso than anything. The little Heartless shrugged. She laughed, ruffling its antennae. "Thanks, Sora. Helpful as ever."

She blinked, taking another look at her Keyblade. "Hey, wait..." She murmured. "Sora! Do you trust me?" She asked.

The Heartless just gave her a look. She laughed, ruffling her own hair self-consciously.

"Right." She said. "Sorry I asked."

She raised her Keyblade up and struck him right through the chest. The shadows began to glow before dissolving into the air around them, and she stared in awe as the boy she knew and loved stood in front of her with an annoyed look on his face.

"You know, you could've tried not to aim for the chest." He teased. "Two times in one day kind of sucks."

She screamed with delight and hugged him tightly a second later, so he really couldn't say he was in any position to complain. He just smiled and wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head.

"Missed you too." He said, and the love and affection in his voice spoke volumes. "So, when did you get a Keyblade?" He asked. She giggled softly.

"Ah, about five minutes ago." She said, a soft blush crossing her cheeks. "You know how that is."

He groaned, but a harsh screech stopped him from asking any more questions. They both turned around to see Maleficent, who was now getting swallowed up by the crushing tendrils of the darkness. She struggled and flapped her wings and tore at it with her razor-sharp teeth, all to no avail; the man above her simply clenched his fist tighter, and the darkness became so crushing it started to break her bones.

Sora paled, and Kairi looked almost sick to her stomach. The two of them watched in horror as Maleficent slowly sunk down into the darkness with one last scream of despair.

"R-Riku?" Kairi murmured, eyes wide with fear.

The man turned around, and there was no familiar warmth in his eyes.

"Used to be." He purred.


	116. City of Stars

(Okay, this might be the first time Axel's used his catchphrase in the story, and there's a reason for that.

I loathe, and I do mean _loathe _when fangirls write a story in which he shows up in the first chapter, and that's a good third of his dialogue aside from "Gosh new Keyblade person you're so Suetiful!" It's something he says maybe like twice in KHII, and it's just in that shitty thing I refuse to accept as part of KH canon that he says it like it's going out of fucking style. So I don't like it when people make him say it over and over-he's one of the ONLY Nobodies with a deep, geniune depth of character, and you reduce him to a boring catchphrase? Go fuck yourselves, fangirls.

Anyways, there's a reason as to why he says it in OGC, and why now; keeping Roxas' head in his current life is vital for his survival. And that's all I have to say about that for awhile. ;3

Anyways, Libera Me from Hell=the epic soundtrack that backed this. ROW ROW FIGHT THA POWA!

I'm tempted to just start making a playlist of what I was listening to as I wrote it and adding it, but most of it would either be obscure Japanese junk or eighties rock. Still!

And yes, no need for spoilers; Terra, Aqua, and Ven get involved. Not Vanitas though. He's pouting in the corner and possibly immobilized by the pure light that those two barfed up this chapter. They prooobably won't show up for awhile again-at least in person, but now you know that they were strengthened by the door to the light opening, and anything after that is future spoilers, soo!

Uhh I had other stuff to say, I'm sure of it, but I'll be assed if I can remember what it was. So, drop any questions in a review, and I'll answer 'em next chapter! Later~

Don't own.

Dedicated to Kamina, because that badass music is what inspired me to go all-out with this chapter.)

* * *

Sora snarled, drawing his Keyblade as he looked back at Kairi. She was standing there, her eyes wide and filled with something indescribably sad. For a second, Sora could have sworn he saw another woman standing behind her, tears trailing down her cheeks.

Then the illusion broke, and the two of them were facing down a monstrous god that looked far too much like Riku for them to be completely focused on the fight. Sora inhaled sharply and turned back to Kairi.

"You know, you can stay out of the fight, I understand, don't-" He was cut off by a shrieking war cry as she bolted towards the man and his Heartless, screaming at the top of her lungs.

"YOU," she punctuated her words with a swing of her Keyblade, "GIVE," another swing-two Novashadows down, three-"OUR RIKU," another swing and she was so close to him-"_BACK_!"

Sora stared in amazement as the man snarled, struck by a glancing blow. He clamped his hand over the wound, which oozed darkness that dripped and dribbled from it in little malignant blobs. Through the dark, tacky blood covering his hand, he reached out and caught just the hem of her skirt, which began to hiss and pulse with darkness. Kairi shrieked and snarled, reaching out with the Keyblade to blast him again before he took her Keyblade and clasped it in his fist, seemingly unharmed by the light pouring from it.

"_Idiot_." He spat. "I AM _ANSEM_! _SEEKER OF __**DARKNESS**_! AND YOU _HONESTLY THINK I AM GOING TO BE STOPPED BY A __**LITTLE GIRL**__?" _He thundered, raising her into the air and reaching out to grab her, as if to steal her heart.

Sora was conflicted for an instant-Riku was somewhere inside of that body, and the thought of hurting Riku turned his stomach upside down. But...the only way to get Riku free might be to fight this Ansem person-and he had to.

"It's okay, Riku, Kairi," he murmured, "I'm gonna protect you."

He raised his Keyblade in the air and charged, light trailing from the blade as it lit up the darkness like the brightest of stars.

_We're with you._

Even now, the voices didn't faze him; he was far more focused on striking a good, heavy blow than dredging up ghosts of the past. He raised his blade and leapt into the air, Keyblade glowing with the effort and magic Sora was forcing into it as he brought it down and aimed for Ansem's head.

Ansem just laughed, dodging him almost effortlessly as Sora skidded, trying to find his balance again as Ansem raised his hands skyward and roared. The darkness seemed to writhe, crackle, and roil around him as the Heartless below him quivered and trembled, bubbling and twisting underneath their thin skins. He reached out towards the darkness and began to let it trail down his skin, threading its way underneath his deep brown skin and through his unearthly pale hair, singing with life as his eyes opened, thin trails of darkness leaking from them.

"KINGDOM HEARTS...FILL ME WITH THE POWER OF _**DARKNESS...**_I MUST HAVE _UNLIMITED POWER!" _He snarled, reaching up into the vast emptiness above darkness rushed and roiled around him with ever-increasing intensity, like the sky and the sea meeting just before a storm. Sora charged through it without even the slightest hesitation, hearing Kairi shout his name as she struggled to free herself from Ansem's grip, her Keyblade still in her hands as she struck at him over and over.

With a small shock, Sora realized she was glowing; it was a soft pale rose light that was tinged slightly with the deep blue of the ocean, and her Keyblade glowed in response as she wrenched it up and away from the darkness. Sora looked at his in shock as he realized that it was glowing as well-a pale gold tinged with the brilliant crimson of a flame that reached out into the pale blue of the sky.

"Sora!" She yelled, standing up and drawing her Keyblade, hair mussed and eyes wild with delight as she bared her teeth in a triumphant smile. "C'mon! We've got to finish it!"

Sora wasn't sure exactly how they were supposed to do that, but it was as if the Keyblades acted of their own accord. The glow became so bright around them that it almost hurt their eyes to look directly at it.

"KINGDOM HEARTS!" Kairi screamed, and her eyes were shining with strength and exhilaration as the light surrounding them both began to twist up into spirals, coming together in a heart. "FILL US WITH THE POWER OF LIGHT!"

Ansem snarled, tossing her aside as if she was plagued, the light becoming too much for him to bear. She stayed afloat, the light supporting her as she reached out from across the darkness and took Sora's hand. He was pulled up to stand beside her, and the two of them faced Ansem down.

For a second, under the crushing influence of the light, Riku's eyes flickered from behind the cruel hazel eyes, filled with so much love that it gave them a bit more hope that somewhere, Riku was still in there. Then for an instant, a soft, gentle brown set of eyes that neither of them recognized gazed back at them, filled with hope and desperation.

"_**SUBMIT**_!" Ansem snarled, and all the hate and rage was back as he reached out to crush them both, the Heartless swarming around him like a writing eldritch mass of darkness and hateful golden eyes.

"No." They both said softly.

In response to their defiance, the light began to blossom around them both, forming two halves of a heart that rose above them, leaving a softly glowing trail in its wake as it reached the precipice of the end of the world. They raised their Keyblades up as if in celebration, and the Keyblades burst into light and flame in response.

Ansem's face contorted in rage and hate for a moment, just before Riku shone through and reached out to grasp at the light, his fingers brushing against it for an instant. The quick burst of light that enamated from Riku just before he disappeared back into Ansem's darkness was enough to fill in the heart's emptiness, and the link was complete, in all its glory.

The Key. The Key to all the Worlds-the Door to the Light. Friendship, love, and hope had been poured into that bond, and now it was time to put it to the test.

With those that had come before them at their backs, Sora and Kairi turned to face the light and glanced at each other. He gave her a small, sweet smile and raised his Keyblade.

"C'mon." Sora said. "For Riku."

Kairi nodded and raised her Keyblade to stand beside his.

"Yeah." She murmured. "For Riku."

They both aimed their Keyblades for the heart-for the door to all the worlds. Ansem was snarling in rage and hate, but there was something holding him back-neither of them understood it entirely, but they were far more focused on the light that was beginning to open up the door in the darkness.

"KINGDOM HEARTS!" Ansem screamed, becoming mad and desperate as the world began to pulse with new beginnings, light, and life. The darkness around him was slipping away quicker than he could cling to it, and he was snarling and roaring like a rabid beast as he reached out to try to close the Door. "DON'T YOU _**DARE **_DEFILE IT, YOU IMPUDENT WHELPS! I AM THE WIELDER OF _**DARKNESS**_! I ALONE CAN CONTROL KINGDOM HEARTS!"

Both of their Keyblades were shaking in their hands, the immense power making it hard for them to stay steady. Still, Sora and Kairi stayed firm and held the line-Riku's life might depend on it. That was enough for them to summon up the strength to keep the door to the light open.

"The light belongs to everyone." Kairi murmured.

"And no one can control the darkness." Sora added.

The two of them looked at each other and smiled before they let the power unleash itself and force the door all the way open.

Ansem burned like a star collapsing in on itself-his screams were drowned out by the light rushing through the door like a river overflowing its banks. He burned and writhed and roared, promising vengeance as he was torn apart, piece by piece, crushed under the light. Sora and Kairi didn't really care about vengeance or the "Seeker of Darkness." All they knew that within him, Riku was there, and they had to get him out.

"C'mon, Riku!" Sora yelled, reaching out and trying to brighten the light for Riku to find his way home. Tears were spilling down his cheeks, and all he could think of was the fact that Riku _had to come home, _and that he would accept _nothing less. _ "Fight it! Fight the darkness! Riku! _RIKU_!"

The light surrounding Ansem began to fade away, and Riku was left floating in the darkness. As he fell, gravity overtaking him with a sudden snapping vengeance, Sora reached out his hand and caught him, holding on to him and silently promising himself to never let go again. Riku's eyes opened wide as he looked up to see him, and he whispered softly, "Sora?"

Sora just grinned, pulling him up to stand on his own two feet.

"Hey." He said. "I owed you one."

Riku looked back at the door and frowned, holding on to Sora's hand even tighter. "It's...it's closing..." He murmured.

He turned around to face Sora and Kairi suddenly, and both of them realized with a jolt that Riku had changed. There was a part of him now that was stronger, and more hardened against the defenses of the darkness. It was the strength of knowing he wasn't alone, and it would last him for as long as he was a Knight. "Sora, you have to go. Now. I'll stay and go find the King-Donald and Goofy have already left, I can feel it. Go find your friends and go save the world." He managed a soft smile. "We'll have your back."

Sora nodded, unsure of what to say. He just grinned before turning back to Kairi and getting serious.

"All right, fair enough. Now, Kairi, you need to head back to the island, it's not safe here, and-"

She slapped him across the face and gave him a look that essentially defined "amused contempt."

"_Excuse me_, Sora? _Who _just helped you defeat a giant, betentacled, completely insane Heartless overlord? Because if I remember correctly, it was _me_." She snapped. "Don't you tell me I can't protect you and Riku. We're _equals, _Sora. The sea meets the sky and the earth, and they all come together. I'm not leaving." She challenged him. "Riku needs me too. I'm not letting him go fight the darkness alone!"

The strength within the three tightened and became ever more powerful. Riku smiled, and for the first time in a long while, the smile was without darkness. Kairi took his hand and squeezed it before holding her other hand out to Sora.

Sora sighed and took her hand before he hugged her tight. He felt Riku's arms around him as well, and he smiled in relief.

"All right." He murmured. "Riku, you keep her safe. Kairi, you keep him safe too. I'll..." He swallowed. "I'll be strong on my own." He promised.

Just before he turned to head for the door, Riku pulled him back. Sora met his eyes and shivered from the intense gaze that Riku pinned him with.

"No." He murmured, brushing his hair behind his ear and kissing his forehead. "As long as we survive, you will never be on your own."

Kairi followed suit with a gentle, chaste kiss to his cheek before she pushed him off for the door and grinned.

"Go on, Sora!" She said. "Get going! We'll be back soon!" She cried.

Sora just nodded, too numb to focus on anything else. He turned and bolted for the door to the light, Keyblade in hand as he disappeared into it and the door swung shut behind him.

...

If the trio had been looking, they would have noticed a few things. However, they were so focused on their own bonds that those of the fallen Knights before them had been lost to their eyes.

_Are we together again, Terra? _Aqua's voice asked, soft and concerned.

_I'm not sure. _He replied. _I c-can't...face you. I'm not strong enough. But...somewhere in me...there is that strength. And when it returns, then I promise I'll never desert you again. _

_You're right here, Terra. Right here and right now. And that's all I could ask for. _Aqua confessed.

_...Suppose you're right..._ Terra mused. _Friends again? _He asked, and his voice was soft and pleading. Aqua laughed and took his hand.

_Friends forever. _She promised. _Now say goodbye to Ven. _

The two of them, standing behind Riku and Kairi as they had been the entire time, turned to see Sora leaving for the light. Just before he left, they saw a familiar blond boy following behind him, a smile on his face as he waved them goodbye.

_I love you. _

The sentiment, shared by all of those present, was enough to keep the Door to the Light open just long enough for Sora to slip through and return to the world where, if they survived, they would return to once again.

For now...

Aqua and Terra looked back at their successors and smiled before taking each other's hands and holding them tight.

For now, they had each other. And even in the darkness, it was enough.

* * *

Somewhere far beyond them all, in a city on the edge of the stars- on the precipice of night -the clock struck, the stars parted around him, and Roxas came into being.

He could see the clock tower from where he was. It wasn't really what he was focused on, though. After all, the whole world was opening up before him, and it was both a world he knew and had never seen before. He was confused. He had only the barest grip on reality right now, and it made his head swim.

"Hey." A soft voice whispered, and Roxas knew that at least he wasn't alone. "Found you."

He turned around and saw him standing there. He looked tired, and hungry, and frightened, just a little, but he also looked like home and love and desire, and it made Roxas happy. But...his name...if he could just remember his name...

Apparently he had been speaking out loud, because the man gave him a brilliant shining smile and took him into his arms, whispering, "I'm Axel, Roxas. Got it memorized?"

A few pieces clicked and settled into place. Roxas smiled and tilted his head up to brush his lips against Axel's own.

"Yes." He said. "Yes, I do."


	117. Coming Home

(This is a short chapter, but it's only supposed to be an interim one, so there you are. ^^; Sorry about the big gap in updates; I am stupid and forget I have backlog enough to update. SUPER SMART.

Oh man the sixties Spiderman cartoon is amazingly horrible. I adore it with all my soul because it's basically Scooby-Doo only with Spiderman, cheap animation and silly sound effects and _everything. _God I love life.

I GOT AN OSWALD THE LUCKY RABBIT PLUSHIE AND NOW I AM THE HAPPIEST PERSON EVER~

oh man I totally scared the shit out of a little girl in the store, too-she was looking at pooh bear and minnie, who were on the same shelf nearby (it was in the back rather than on the big wheel thingy) and I just totally barreled into the store and was like OSWALD I FOUND YOU and she like died and it was _freaking beautiful_

I didn't let go of him for the rest of the night and now he is sitting on my lap as I type this. My cat is just going to have to _learn how to deal._

Also I have yet to see any Cap-themed bikinis. The shield is a perfect bikini motif! GET ON IT MARVEL I WANT MY BATTLE BIKINI.

Admit it, even if you're a guy you'd wear it, just because battle bikini. :3

Also the new Avengers cartoon is pretty good-I'm just glad they're using the original team because Janet and also because it is very hard to keep up with roster changes and also because fuck Wolverine. YEAH I SAID IT.

Although Tony's voice is _atrocious. _If he's such a big man-slut then I'm amazed they just gave him this annoying nasally voice, because it's like a spike being driven into my eardrum and if I was going to sleep with a guy with a nasally voice like that then I would have to be pretty desperate so maybe they did it on purpose so they could justify him not having a girlfriend in the show unless they ship him with Pepper again and if they do I so quit I swear

You know who should get his own show? Deadpool. Admit it you'd watch it.

Also 3DS; I hate you for being so expensive. The new KH gayfest needs to work on regular DSes because otherwise I will cry. IT IS NOT EVEN A GAME ANYMORE. IT IS A HOMOEROTIC MOVIE WITH OCCASIONAL BATTLES.

Good thing too, I was going to slice Donald up and serve him with a honey-glaze garnish if he stuck around for one more game.

Anyways, yeah this chapter is depressing I'm sorry. Sucks. You'll get your resolution eventually. ^^

Don't own.

Dedicated to SPIDERMAN SPIDERMAN DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER CAN

...Made you sing. :3)

* * *

The thing about breakfast in the the castle was that everyone seemed to be enamored with the idea of yelling and bickering for as long as possible due to the fact that no one wanted to to be up in the first place. Especially before anyone had a cup of coffee. That was just asking for a war zone.

Due to bad luck, the coffee machine had busted the night before. No one knew how to fix it, and they weren't letting Vexen anywhere near it, considering it would then end up becoming a giant robot or something equally dangerous. It would be a coffee machine that shot lasers, or spat fire, and the worst part was that this was from experience. This had actually happened, and it was a wonder that they even let him near it to make coffee.

(Well, realistically, _not _letting him near it would be even more dangerous.)

So everyone was in even more of a nasty mood than they normally were. And to top it off, the only morning people in the entire castle were Larxene, Saix, and Demyx, who didn't even count because he was _always_ so perpetually peppy and cheerful. This was of course deadly in the mornings, since it was like a bird chirping; cute when the sun was out and you were relaxing, but if it dared chirp before eight A.M. then there would be bloodshed and strangulation.

And so everyone sat down at the table that morning, much more focused on their food than normal. They were determined not to notice anything else, considering if one thing went wrong, they would all probably go insane and start bitching at each other until they were all blue in the face, which is probably why Axel could just walk in and take food without any of them noticing.

He balanced the sleeping Roxas on his hip like a child for a second, taking a plate and piling it high with food for himself, remembering to grab an apple for Roxas in case he woke up hungry, before taking a look at the coffee machine. He frowned, seeing it was busted and resolving to get someone to fix it, even if their idea of "fixing it" was "beating it up and kicking it until it started up again."

He poured himself a glass of apple juice and left the room without a word, shutting the door behind him with a soft click.

Everyone was quiet for a minute. Xemnas and Saix had the misfortune to burst in a minute later, looking around at everyone's stunned faces and raising an eyebrow.

"What's the matter, Ienzo?" Xemnas mumbled, eyes still bleary with sleep. Zexion gave him an indignant glare and huffed imperiously.

"You didn't tell us Axel was home? Really now, that's just rude." He muttered.

Saix, who had been in the middle of getting a glass of water, immediately dropped the glass and froze as it shattered around his feet.

"_Where is he." _Saix snarled. The utterly inhuman quality of his voice made everyone in the room shudder, but Zexion managed to steady his nerves and reply.

"He was just here about a minute ago; you literally missed him by a second. I assume he's up in his room-" Before Zexion could finish his sentence, Saix had torn the door off of its hinges, chucked it across the room and through the kitchen window, and bolted up the hallway towards the third floor.

Everyone stared at the broken window and missing door for a minute.

"The coffee machine's still broken?" Xemnas finally ventured. Vexen nodded.

He slumped in his chair and groaned.

"Fuck _me," _he grumbled, massaging his temples, "and now it's the door. That's the third time this month." He muttered bitterly.

"What, that we've had some sort of dramatic event decide to unfold at the hour in which we are at our most incoherent, or that someone has broken the door down and ruined it beyond repair?" Xaldin asked.

Xemnas grunted. Xaldin had to take that as either a "yes," or a "my brain isn't even functioning enough to process the return of our eighth member and you're asking me to translate your prose?"

As Xemnas put his head down and fell asleep at the table, Xaldin figured it was a comfortable medium of "both."

...

There were tears in his eyes. Saix knew it; he felt them, and the sting that accompanied them like always. He tried not to recognize them, because if he recognized their presence he would remember _why _he was crying, and since there was no real reason to cry, (since he couldn't feel), there was no reason to...to...

He didn't understand his own thoughts. Everything was a jumble; a broken mirror with leaping reflections scattered across the cracks, all of them little worlds that stopped and started on their own terms and their own shattered lines, and he hurt so much that it had to be real. Had to...

He finally reached Axel's room, and after the long months he had spent waiting for his best friend to come home, he didn't think-couldn't think, just had to act-and he pushed open the door.

A heavy snarl greeted him, and he realized that Axel's chakrams were at his throat.

If it had been anyone else, he would have fought back. He would have summoned his claymore and sparred with them, because he was a berserker and a warrior, and he had it in his blood. But he was a friend first, heart or not, and so he stared at Lea, his shimmering green eyes wild and dark with madness.

"He's _mine." _Lea snarled at him, and Saix realized it was the first time he had ever seen Lea really and truly angry, heartless or not. "_Don't you dare take him from me. _I fought _too long _and _too hard _to make this boy mine, and your goddamned _master _won't take him from me. _No one will take Roxas from me." _He spat.

Saix realized that the tears hadn't stopped. He didn't know what to say. In the end, Lea spoke for him.

"I have to take care of Roxas, Isa." Lea said softly. "You left me for Xemnas, remember? Now it's my turn to put someone else first."

He turned away and went back over to the sleeping boy on the bed, the angel-boy with the seething darkness under his skin.

Saix was very, very quiet.

Then he turned and walked away without even leaving a single sign that he had ever been there in the first place.


	118. Always in This Twilight

(There are many reasons I didn't update on time. Mostly school and stress. I'm very sorry for those.

The GOOD news is; one of them was that I'm working on a new fic. No spoilers after the fact. ;3

Okay just one; it's an AU of the Runaways universe. (Comic series by Marvel. Just read it. Seriously.) And CANONICAL gayness. Which just made you all sit up and pay attention, mm? ;3

Short AN so I can get this chapter out. Just another apology for being bogged down with end-of-year work, stress, parents-related nonsense, et cetera et cetera...love you guys. Thanks for waiting.

Don't own.

Dedicated to my readers. You know, I'm just dedicating it to all of you in spirit every chapter from now on. You have it coming.)

* * *

Xemnas looked up and beckoned for Saix to sit as his pet entered the study. Saix didn't seem to want to talk, and Xemnas didn't want to push him. He settled for getting him situated comfortably beside him, and he had to admit how much he relished the feel of Saix snuggling up against him without any hesitation. His pet's breath was slow and heavy, like he was fighting back something painful that threatened to burst from his chest.

"I think I may have to reconsider how I convince Lea how to behave, my master." Saix said softly. "I don't think this attempt worked out too well."

Xemnas didn't ask any questions. He could still feel Saix's breathing sharp and shuddering against his chest, and he knew that his pet was in pain. He wouldn't press the matter-at least, not yet.

"I made coffee." He said comfortingly. "I added your favorites, don't worry. I have some reports to do, but then we can simply relax for awhile in here, yes?"

Saix actually perked up slightly and smiled at him.

"Yes, master." He replied. "A-after all..." Xemnas noted the hitch in his breathing and he bit his lip, confused by the wet shine in Saix's eyes just before he looked away. "...This is what I gave up Lea for." He whispered, so softly that Xemnas didn't hear it as the two remained together under the light of Kingdom Hearts.

...

Roxas blinked and stirred, feeling something hot and wet against his skin. He wrinkled his nose, confused. The sensation wasn't bad, but it was...strange. He was curious now; what was making him feel that way?

He rolled over in bed to see Axel, his eyes clenched shut as he wept, tears trailing down his cheeks as he tried to stifle his sobs. Roxas blinked again, trying to understand. Axel was...hurting. There was a reason why, and he could remember it if he tried really hard, and...

He thought for a minute. There had been someone here awhile ago. A man named Isa. And Axel had been sad when he had left. Roxas wasn't sure why, but Axel was crying too hard for him to ask. He didn't want to make Axel cry anymore.

Roxas despaired for a second, confused; what could he do? He wanted to make Axel smile, but he didn't know where Isa was-he would have to leave his room. His room was safe. The castle was scary; it was dark and big and twisty, and he was afraid of getting lost again-what if Axel couldn't find him this time?

He shivered and tried to get up anyway until he realized with a sudden start that he didn't have any clothes. He frowned, but after spying Axel's Organization coat on the floor, he did his best to fit into it. It didn't work out too well-it hung loose on him in a lot of places, and the arms were tight, which really annoyed him, but he had to get dressed so he could go find Isa and tell him to come back so Axel would smile again for him. Besides, if he was wearing Axel's coat, the darkness wouldn't be so bad-Axel would be able to find him easier if he was wearing his jacket.

Roxas summoned up all his strength and left the room, squeezing Axel's hand just once before he went.

He crept out into the hallway and looked around, relieved at the empty hallway before he realized he had no idea where he was going and no one to ask directions from. He frowned, sinking deep into thought. He could just start opening doors at random, but that would probably be a bad idea. Perhaps he could walk around and see if he could hear Isa's voice? At any rate, he would find someone in his travels who might help him, even if he didn't find this Isa person first...

He padded off up the next stairway, taking care not to trip over the hem of his coat, (which was almost like a bridal train-Roxas only realized how tall Axel was in that moment, when he was stumbling over his coat and wishing he wasn't so short), and climbing up the marble steps with a slow, careful pace. He shivered, the cool stone making his feet numb as he did his best to get up the steps and reach the next hallway.

Thankfully, he was rewarded with the sounds of muted conversation just above him; one of the voices was definitely the voice of Isa. He sighed in relief, heading down the next hallway before making his way up to the room where he heard the voices.

Saix and Xemnas were both startled by the knock at the door. Xemnas, however, regained his composure first, and called out, "Who is it?"

The person at the door, whoever they were, shifted uncomfortably-they could only tell due to the loud swishing of leather that accompanied the movement. Xemnas raised an eyebrow. "Hello?"

"Um, I think my name's Roxas. Or maybe that's what only Axel's supposed to call me. I'm not...really very sure." He paused. "Can I come in?"

Both Xemnas and Saix were utterly floored. However, this time, Saix found his composure first and called back, "...I suppose."

The door opened after a few fruitless attempts, and the two of them got their first glimpse of the Keyblade wielder.

He was small. Roxas was fragile, delicate, and pale; almost as if he hadn't settled entirely into his body yet. His eyes were the only part of him that seemed to be wholly and fully real; those sapphire eyes sparkled with the delicate burning light of newborn stars. He shifted nervously again before he gave them a small smile.

"I'm Roxas, I guess." He said. "It's nice to meet you." He looked at both of them before he finally asked, "Isa, are you here?"

Saix swallowed, stunned. He nodded and stood up, trying to choke down his rage at hearing the boy speak his name. He didn't care if he was supposed to be the savior of them all, he was trying to ruin everything he had ever cared about, heartless or not, and he _hated _this boy.

Roxas nodded. "That's good." He chewed his lip for a second. "Axel was crying. He was crying when you left, and he sounded so sad and scared and hurting that I had to come find you so you could go back and make it better." He looked into Saix's eyes, and the berserker almost started with shock-it was like the boy was stripping him to the barest flicker of soul left within him.

"He's sad. And he misses you a lot. You're friends, right? There were times...in the darkness...where I could see what he felt. And what he thought. And then when he dreamed, he dreamed of me, but sometimes...you were there too." He finished. "That's why I think you still matter. So you should go to him."

Saix was quiet. He didn't want to admit anything to this boy, but at the same time...

Oh, Lea. How much he still cared.

Saix sighed and headed for the door.

"Superior, deal with..._that," _he said, "since I believe our objective is complete. I must go see to Lea."

Roxas watched him go with a twinge of sadness darkening his eyes.

"I don't think he likes me much." Roxas said. Xemnas sighed. His mind was reeling, but that note of sadness was almost geniune enough that he felt compelled to respond.

"Everyone will come around with time, Roxas." He comforted him. "Now let me see what we can do about you..."

...

Saix didn't think of the little blond boy he had left with his master. No, his master was cunning and proud; he would resist the charms of the sniveling little brat. Lea, however...Lea was ill-fated to be in love with the thing, and Lea was less lucky. As much as he hated it, he had to admit, it had a hold on Lea. And Lea was his friend; sure, he wasn't particularly happy with Lea at the moment, but...friendship went beyond the anger of the moment.

He went down the hall and down the stairs, heading for Lea's room. He opened the door without hesitation-with a bit of black amusement, he remembered the last time that had happened-but shrugged it off in favor of heading for the bed, where Lea slept with tears still trailing down his cheeks.

Saix sighed. Perhaps he had been a bit unkind; after all, he understood the duress Lea had been under. If, like Vexen had said, he had been lost without his master for months, without even a single word of comfort or at least a sign that he was safe, he would have gone mad long ago. Now he could comfort Lea, and then he would finally see that despite all that he had gone out to search for, he still had plenty of things he had left waiting for him.

Lea snuggled into his lap, his head against his thigh as Saix reached a gentle hand down and began to stroke his friend's soft crimson spikes. He had missed this; god, how he had missed the feel of Lea. The wholeness of being near his best friend-the odd mix of happiness, exasperation, amusement, and peace was a familiar, intoxicating memory, and one he lost himself in as he held Lea's hand.

He didn't stir for a long time; Lea was a heavy sleeper, and Saix didn't want to wake him. Nevertheless, at some point, he would have to get up...and Saix would be waiting.


	119. In the Shadow of Your Heart

(Hey.

I know I haven't been doing much. I'm so sorry-this new fic has been eating up my time, and then I had finals, and ugh...

Thankfully, now school is over. So with luck, I can try to balance fic-writing a little more.

I'm sorry. I know. I know, I know, I know. But I've just...

I think I burned myself out with that arc. I really did. And this one isn't going to be kittens and rainbows either. But...I gotta try. I gotta keep going.

In the interim-I've been writing a bunch of other random things, so I'm going to upload those, too. Show y'all what I've been doing. Seems fair.

I keep hearing all this in like some sort of smokey and the bandit voice. Damn it, I need to not watch movies and write. It won't stop narrating in a southern drawl! Argh!

Anyways, so yeah. No excuses. No more.

I'm gonna write. And damn it, I'm gonna see this fic through.

Love y'all. Hope you like this new chapter.

Don't own.

Egocentric as it may be, dedicated to myself. I need the inspiration to keep going.)

* * *

Axel groaned and rolled over, looking up into his best friend's pale gold eyes and immediately tensing with panic. He fumbled for Roxas, searching desperately until Saix shook his head and sighed.

"Lea, Number XIII came to find me awhile ago." He said. Axel immediately tensed up and panicked; Saix bit back a snarl, knowing that he couldn't snap at Lea for being afraid. He had to try to explain and hopefully understand...it was all for Lea's sake. That was what he comforted himself with as he added, "He's fine."

Axel relaxed immediately and sighed with gratitude. Saix shrugged and continued on. "He said that you...you dreamed of me. In the darkness...you still wanted us to be together." He looked away for a second. "I...I acted so harshly." He murmured. "I just..."

Axel hugged him tight, cutting him off before he could finish. He was warm against Saix's skin, and it was only then that Saix realized how cold he had been. His friend's warm, snappy laugh reached his ears.

"I fucked up pretty bad too, puppy." He sighed. "I...I know I shouldn't have attacked you, and I'm sorry. I panicked...and I was just so scared for Roxas..." He confessed. "I searched _everywhere _for him, puppy. I went to every world we knew of and then some, just to find him and bring him home..." Axel ran a hand through his hair and groaned.

"Look, I know I've been gone for a long time. But I just..." He swallowed. "I needed to find him, Isa. He was lost and alone and scared and trapped, and whether or not I can really love him, I ought to act like it. And that meant I had to go find him."

Saix bit his lip, ignoring the cut he could feel splitting his lower lip open. "I..." He shook his head. "Lea, that's not all of it. You...you rejected me. Just because of Xemnas. Was that _really _necessary?" He asked, voice soft and pained. Axel shook his head.

"No..." He replied. "I know, I know. I really fucked up. But...god, I already told you I was jealous, right? And...seeing Roxas fading out into the darkness...it brought out the worst in me. It made me desperate and scared, and I wasn't thinking clearly. It was a damn nasty thing to say, and I'm sorry."

Saix whuffed with amusement and shook his head. "Lea, I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't forgive you. I haven't exactly been the purveyor of kind words lately..." He murmured. "And I suppose I should say I'm sorry too."

The two of them were quiet for a second.

Without warning, Saix embraced Axel so tightly that his arms were shaking from the strain as he pulled him close and tight.

"_God, _Lea!" Saix cried. "I missed you _so much!" _

Axel wound his arms around Saix's waist and smiled, kissing the top of Saix's head.

"Missed you too, puppy." He whispered. "Best friends forever?"

Saix nodded, refusing to think of the future or the Keyblade Knight or his master or anything, _anything at all _that wasn't Lea. He didn't need a future. He needed the here and now.

"Best friends forever." He replied.

* * *

Roxas giggled softly, trying on the coat and snuggling into the warm leather. Xemnas had given him a new one, and he thought it fit much better; thankfully, it was soft, too, so he was set for going back to bed with Axel. His thoughts were getting hazy and soft again; it was like he wasn't all the way there, and it was scaring him...

He padded back off for their room, already doing his best to stay tethered to his memories just by thinking of the newest ones. Kisses; soft touches and the feel of warm comforters. Having his back rubbed when he cried out with pain. Kisses-heated ones this time, little warm ones like butterflies. He wanted more of those kisses. Then he could rest. He just needed something to hold on to...

He shook his head and headed back to his room. He knocked on the door and frowned, realizing with a small twinge of annoyance that he wasn't getting a response. He opened the door anyway; maybe Axel was just asleep?

He came into the room to see both Isa and Axel asleep on the bed. Their arms were looped around each other, and they slept with the comfortable familiarity of two people who had been close to each others' bodies before; people who knew the other person beside them inside and out. Roxas didn't want to intrude, sort-of, because he felt bad; after all, Isa's pain was a very Real Thing, much more real than even he was, especially at this moment, but...

He settled for cuddling up next to Axel and nudging him slightly, causing him to move his arms so Roxas could curl up under his other arm and focus on the feel and smell of Axel to feel real again; just this once, he could share Axel for awhile, especially because of the Real Pain. Isa might not like him, but he didn't want to see anyone suffer...

A little part of him clicked into place again, and he felt a little more whole as he snuggled into Axel's embrace. Helping people made him feel more real-he would have to remember that...

Roxas drifted off to sleep again; this time, his dreams were his own, and all of his dreams were about Axel.

...

Saix stirred after a time, realizing with shock that he was in Lea's bed. He must have fallen asleep at some point; that was all right with him, but he was a bit confused as to why his master hadn't come to get him. It was only then that he looked out the window and winced; the sky was still light, which meant Xemnas must have assumed he was only talking to Lea. At least he hadn't missed out on a night in his master's bed-he figured tonight of all nights he would need the comforting, strong embrace of his master, and the sweet softness of his skin...

Saix blushed, shaking his head. He would have to further his talks with Vexen; this simply wasn't normal behavior. It was annoying him. But right now...

He looked down at Lea and saw that next to him, snuggled into the crook of his other arm, was _it. _The Keyblade Knight.

Saix tensed, snarled; he didn't want to wake Lea, so he cut his growl off mid-way. However, the rage he felt was almost enough to slip him into berserker mode, and it was only by keeping his thoughts very level and very bland that he managed to observe the boy up close.

He looked realer now; perhaps from being near Lea? Saix's claws flexed unconsciously at the thought, and he choked back another snarl of rage. Whether or not that was true, now was not the time to think about it. He needed to look at it; observe it down to the barest flickers of darkness so he could perhaps understand what it was that drew Lea to the thing.

His skin was pale; it looked like with some sun and life, it would eventually tan and brighten, but in a world of endless darkness, that was a bit hard to manage. Despite the pallor, it shone with an inner light, keeping the thing from looking too corpselike. His hair was a messy golden shock of spikes and soft chunks of bright yellow, arranged haphazardly across his head and reaching down to brush against his forehead. It was bright enough to look almost obscenely so against the paleness of his skin, serving as an odd contrast. Saix suspected the effect was lessened once his eyes were open, but waking him up would ruin the observation.

His lips were a pale pink, glistening dully under the low lamp-light. Saix bit back a snarl, trying not to think about those lips and how Lea had claimed them. Frankly, he would rather tear the thing's lips off at this point.

His figure was nothing to speak of; a teen's body, all skin and puppy fat, rather than muscle. It would change at some point, but for now, he was softness and sweetness. The boy was, practically speaking, an angel; if not in demeanor than in appearance, (at least, he looked like the paintings of angels Saix had seen.) It would have been appropriate-the snarling, scarred beast loathing the beautiful, angelic fae child, if Saix hadn't been hurting and lonely rather than hateful, and if Roxas had been aware of what was going on. As it was, the contrast was simply tragic rather than poetic.

Saix stared at him for another minute more before he shook his head and got up off the bed, leaving the room to find his master. There, in his master's arms, he wouldn't have to share the embrace; it would be a comfort to be one half of a whole, rather than stuck in whatever jigsaw mess he was currently in with Lea. Right now, he needed to feel whole again, and his master was all he had left...

Saix didn't bother brushing away the single tear that dripped down his cheek as he left the room and shut the door behind him. After all, it was only one tear.

...

Xemnas flipped through some of his old journals, making notes and alterations as he added in new details about the Keyblade Knights. His meeting with Roxas had been...oddly informative. He hadn't expected the boy to have the kind of air about him that he did; there was no pain or sorrow in his bearing, like he had seen on the backs of the other Keyblade Knights; with them, it was like the weight of the world was on their shoulders, overseeing everything they did and choking them with the weight of responsibility. This one was free as the air and as innocent as a child; there was no pained understanding or miserable recognition of duty inside of him.

Xemnas sighed, shaking his head. There was something about the boy that worried at his thoughts, clawing at them and tugging on them, trying to make him lose focus as he buried his head in his hands and massaged his temples. He didn't mind it, however, which he found odd; normally, that kind of mental exertion and frustration was one of his most loathed foes, but when this boy made his mind twist and turn...

He shrugged. Roxas was new to this world, and that was all. In time, he would develop the same sort of sorrow and jaded worldliness that every other Keyblader did. He was the same as they had been, albeit lacking one key feature; the lack of heart, perhaps, would save him?

Xemnas scribbled that down in a margin and shoved his journals aside. He would save the thoughts for later. As of right now, he had to focus on what to do about Roxas...

It had already been two days, and everyone was starting to get curious. Xemnas was sure there was a way he could convince Roxas, at least, to come out and meet everyone; perhaps convincing Axel with the idea that exposing him to new people would help him keep his grip on reality wasn't a bad strategy either. He wanted his brothers to see the curiosity that the Organization had found-a Keyblade Knight not burdened by the sorrows of being the champion of the Heart of all the worlds. After the Keyblade Knights they themselves had seen, they deserved to see an innocent child like Roxas.

It was with a single wry smile that Xemnas reminded himself that if Roxas was truly to become their hope and savior, that innocence and freedom wouldn't last very long.

He shook his head and banished the cynicism from his thoughts as he heard a soft knock at the door.

"Master? May I-"

"Come in, Saix." He said, not even letting the slightest hint of hesitation color his words. "I've missed you."

He couldn't help but feel both proud and pleased when Saix opened the door and came to his side immediately, nuzzling his neck and growling softly with recognition and pleasure. Xemnas scratched behind his ears gently, rubbing the soft skin and playing with the delicate swooping points as Saix outright melted in his arms. Xemnas beckoned him into his seat, and Saix snuggled beside him and leaned his head on his shoulder as Xemnas stroked the top of his head and toyed with his hair.

"I'm rather sick of worrying about Keyblades and Kingdom Hearts, my dear Saix," he purred, "and frankly, I'd prefer to spend time with you. Do you have any other duties to take care of, my pet?"

Saix growled softly and clung tighter to Xemnas.

"Nothing except to stay by your side, my master." He replied. "And that barely counts as a duty anyway." He added, quirking his lips in a small, fanged grin. Xemnas treated him to a rare warm smile before returning to stroking his hair and playing with his ears.

"Then stay with me." He ordered. Saix nodded, growling quietly and letting Xemnas embrace him tightly, wrapping him in his strong arms and letting Saix forget all about the boy and Lea. The feel of his master's arms; the sound of his master's voice-it was all he needed.

"With pleasure." He replied, letting Xemnas take him over completely and losing himself in the warmth of his master's body.

...

Axel could sit and watch Roxas for hours. He mused on this when he was alone with the younger boy, who would snuggle up against his hip and lay his head on his thigh like a sleepy kitten, eyes closed and delicate dark lashes casting shadows on his proud cheekbones.

Axel wondered, briefly, how easy it would be to take Roxas away and bring him somewhere else. Axel didn't care where; as long as Roxas was away from the star-boy snatcher and puppy-stealer, he was good. He just wanted Roxas to be safe.

But he knew he could never run away forever and always. He would like to; he would like to very, very much. But Roxas was the perfect little starboy savior that they all needed. The others would find him. They would steal Roxas then and make sure Axel could never see him, ever. And Axel would sooner die than let that happen. He would rather live a thousand hundred million forever lifetimes without his heart than lose Roxas.

Roxas stirred in his sleep and looked up at Axel, his perfect, brilliant blue eyes wide and bright with terror and pain. Darkness had begun to seep from his hands, the tips of his perfect delicate pale and lovely little fingers, the strands of his glimmering blond hair that shone like the sun on the edge of the ocean, and from his eyes, trailing down like midnight colored shooting stars.

"Who are you?" He asked. He always asked that, even though he knew who he was, really; it was just in these forgetting times full of pain and sorrow and darkness and another boy that Roxas couldn't say his name.

Axel was quiet and loving as he kissed Roxas' cheek, ignoring the harsh, bitter sting of the darkness as it clung to his lips like a disease.

"I'm Axel, kiddo. And you're Roxas. Got it memorized?" He asked.

The familiarity brought a smile to Roxas' face; the darkness had begun to evaporate into small spirals that circled his face like smoke. He nodded slowly, eyes wide and filled with love and trust.

"Yeah, Axel." He replied. "I do."

The darkness faded and the world was filled with stars again. And even in the emptiness of the World that Never Was and with the weight of Kingdom Hearts upon them, they could both hug each other tightly and hold each other in sleep, protecting them from the dreams of another boy who threatened to undo them both.


	120. Blanket Fort Science

(Marluxia _would_ make blanket forts, the jerk. Even if he wanted Vexen to sleep, he'd be like "but I need these blankets it's importaaant" and Vexen would bitch and moan but Marluxia really only has to lie and say it's "for science" and Vexen will basically let him do anything.

"Hey I need these super important cures for cancer I need ammo for my gun that I use to shoot puppies and roast their innards"

"that is flagrantly irresponsible, Marluxia,"

"For science."

"Oh okay then."

Seriously, it's kind of bad. He's not really very good at his self-control when science is involved.

Also holy shit 711 reviews, I love you guys. For real. Thank you so much. ^^ This is awesome. So awesome. And not just because I like Slurpees. Thanks, guys. All of you. :3

And yeah more Axel/Roxas fluff, which is so cute I'm going to start a revolt in a few chapters because there is _too much fucking sparkle and sunshine. _The two of them make me want to vomit a rainbow. Christ, it's like watching Friendship is Magic with a sleeping puppy on your lap and a kitten on your shoulder. Jesus.

Yeah I'm a brony. I even got my little brothers to watch it.

THE HERD IS ABSOLUTE.

Also yeah more awkward foreshadowing and oh my god the sheer amount of disgustingly fluffy fluff. Barf rainbows. Everywhere.

Also I rambled about this in my Avengers fic, but the new cartoon is so beautiful and fluffy and adorable and oh my god the gayness is everywhere Tony my god it's a kids show :I

And Hank. Just...just Hank. In his entirety. I want to stuff him in my purse and take him home.

I have a very large purse.

Anyways, aside from the fact that the above comment can be horribly misconstrued, (_dammit), _I have nothing else to say. Hooray for regular updates!

Don't own.

Dedicated to Tetsuya Nomura, who has promised with the next Kingdom Hearts games that a real resolution will come out and he'll stop padding the series with filler and games about characters we don't care about.

...Ahaha, oh man, can you _imagine_? If only.)

* * *

Another night had fallen, and everyone was starting to get tense. The silent, general consensus was that no one would bring up the Keyblade Knight until either a week had passed or Xemnas initiated the conversation. And bar none, no one was bringing up Axel. No one wanted to deal with Saix.

But they all knew, and they all worried; the Apprentices moreso than the others, sure, due to previous experiences, but their lovers worried with them and it was about an equal balance by the time everything was said and done; Luxord had woken up to Xaldin shaking against him more often lately, and Marluxia would go down to check on Vexen sometimes just because he could hear Vexen mewling in his sleep. Even Larxene, who had her own nightmares to banish, would go down and check on Lexaeus every so often, both because she worried and because she cared.

However, it was generally agreed on that Demyx had the worst of it; Xigbar, who was normally so brash and independent, hadn't left Demyx's side for a long time, becoming a bit more withdrawn and a lot more clingy, hanging on to Demyx or holding him close at every opportunity. Demyx, to his credit, didn't ask any questions or try to get any details; he settled for holding Xigbar tight and letting him do what he needed to do to stay sane under the pressure of the new Knight.

So the night fell and even the "sort-of" lovers sought little comforts in each other; Larxene had come, however hesitantly, to stay in Lexaeus' room, and Marluxia, with his typical lack of regards to personal space, had made a little blanket fort in Vexen's bed and snuggled up beside him. (Vexen had only given the token whining grumble to save face before adjusting to the warmth of Marluxia's body.)

Those that were a bit less hesitant to show their affection had settled for taking their lovers and not letting go. And Xigbar had decided to take out all his fear and worry and sorrow using Demyx as his conduit; the two of them managed to lose themselves somewhere along the line, and slipping into each other's thoughts and minds and souls was the best escape Xigbar could think of, especially when it went with a nice afterglow.

So the night passed and the entire castle seemed to have someone to hold onto, finally; whether it be family or friend or lover, and there was a little part of Roxas that sparked and came alive when this fact was realized, and for a minute the darkness spiraled away entirely and he was almost perfectly human. Even when that faded, he was still content and safe in Axel's arms, and the fire inside of him refused to dim.

The next morning seemed to be almost typical; Saix wasn't as on edge as he had been for the past few days, and Xemnas actually came into the kitchen with a smile on his face. It was only once they had all settled in that Xemnas decided to knock them for a loop.

"I discussed a few things with Roxas, and it appears he has agreed to meet everyone." He said, sipping his coffee and waiting for everyone's reactions. To his credit, as everyone immediately began to panic and sputter, he continued to drink his coffee and ignore the kitchen suddenly being thrown into chaos.

"As I was saying," he purred, immediately making himself heard over the din, "Roxas is curious about the rest of the Organization and how we live our lives. Therefore, especially considering he is a teenage boy, I expect you all to be on your best behavior." He snapped, giving Xigbar a pointed glare. Xigbar snorted, downing his coffee and giving Xemnas a smoldering glance.

"Do you want him to see how we live or how you _think_ we live, Xeh?" He retorted, groping Demyx for good measure as if to emphasize his point. Xemnas rolled his eyes and finished his coffee, giving Xigbar another filthy look.

"I'm being serious, Braig. You should know better than anyone else at this table what happens to Keyblade Knights who deal with too much too young, and I assume that you would rather keep this boy from going down that path?" He said. The entire table fell silent as Xemnas shrugged and shook his head.

"Of course, by all means, joke around. But I suppose I should reititerate that this boy is truly what the Keyblade Knights were purported to be; that is, entirely innocent and pure, unburdened by the world. I believe it's best that we keep him that way for as long as we can."

Xigbar didn't say a word. Everyone else shared glances with each other before Demyx, (who was now holding Xigbar tightly, looking oddly overprotective despite being much less imposing than Xigbar) piped up, "And what if we can't?"

Xemnas was quiet for a minute. Then he shrugged haplessly and shook his head.

"We will." He replied. "No matter what happens, we will..."

The rest of breakfast was finished in silence; now that they actually had what they wanted, it seemed that no one knew how they were going to handle it. Now it was just time for them to wait and see what Roxas brought to them.

* * *

Roxas awoke later than everyone else; he looked down to see Axel still asleep in his lap, nuzzling into the crook of his thigh. Roxas just smiled and stroked his hair for awhile, musing on how to explain the situation to Axel. He knew that Axel would be scared about him meeting everyone else, but Xemnas had told him so many stories of these other people that he was desperate and eager to meet them, very much so; besides, perhaps he could convince Axel to come with him-that way, Axel could protect him if something went wrong, and he could still go meet everyone!

He shook his head and kissed the warm, brilliant spikes of Axel's crimson hair. That could wait, he mused, inhaling his lover's scent, because at that moment all he really wanted to do was stay in bed with Axel and rejoice at finally breaking out of the darkness, if only for these moments.

Axel stirred in his sleep at that, and Roxas smiled down at him, his eyes sparkling with warmth and delight as he stroked Axel's cheek.

"Good morning, Roxy." Axel murmured, voice still soft and slurred with sleep. "Glad you're awake."

Roxas nodded and kissed his cheek. "Mm." He replied, keeping his voice neutral. "Are you ready to talk? I have something to tell you." He said. Axel sat up in bed and stretched, looking at him and nodding his agreement. Axel looked a bit nervous, but Roxas kept him from panicking with comforting strokes across his neck and back, occasionally dipping down to rub his belly and massage his hips as well.

"I went to talk to Isa and Xemnas, remember? That was why Isa came down to say hi..." Roxas trailed off for a second. "And then I stayed to talk to Xemnas, and-"

For a second, Axel didn't hear him; a possessive fury had welled up in his chest, and all he could think of was that the puppy-stealer had tried to take his starboy, and _he was going to burn. _

Roxas knew him so well; the blond just sighed and gave him a quick, sweet kiss.

"I want to meet everyone." He said firmly. "I want to see all these people-understand them and see them and learn about them, because if they're supposed to be the people I'm saving, then I should know them." He demanded. Axel shook his head and pulled Roxas into a tight hug.

"You know I can't refuse you a damn thing, Roxas." Axel murmured. "But..." He kissed him again and held him close and tight. "The only person you have to save is yourself. Don't force yourself into being everyone's angel, Roxas. Far as I'm concerned, you're my angel, and that's enough." He teased. Roxas laughed softly and nuzzled him in return, kissing his cheek.

"I'm so glad..." He murmured. "Just...even when I meet them, don't forget-I'm your angel, and I'm your star, okay?" He said. "My place is with you. I belong with you, near you, and by your side, and I won't let anyone take you away from me." Roxas said, and the look in his eyes was so dead-set and determined that Axel almost cried. As it was, he felt the tugging in his chest becoming a deep, powerful pull as he pulled Roxas in for another kiss.

"As my place is by your side, Roxas." He echoed in agreement. "I will always be with you, and no one will take you away from me." He promised, hugging him tight. "So let them look. They can't touch." He joked, listening to Roxas laugh and realizing that heart or not, the lightness in his chest was becoming so bright it almost hurt.


	121. The Last

(I don't know if anyone will be reading this.

In advance.

I have a lot I should say. Not all of it will be said. Mostly because it's bloody midnight and I am tired.

I've been tired a lot lately. Tired. Miserable. Suicidal.

That doesn't excuse this.

I'm sorry.

I have-ugh, in warning, this is going to get to be a sob story very fast. And by very fast I mean right now.

I haven't had a very easy few months. Broke up with a boyfriend I only realized was an abusive, emotionally manipulative jerk after almost three years of dating. My best friend in the world-the guy who helped me get out of that relationship-left three months ago without a word. I think he hates me.

I think you guys do, too. And you really deserve to.

I've put you through so much bullshit over this stupid story. I'm sorry. There's really no excuse for it.

But...

Just-I-I put my heart and soul into this. I think I did that too much, and I think, in the end, that was the problem. This...

This was a lot. Jesus, this was a lot. I basically dealt with being raped and being abused through writing that. Ironically, I probably would find more understanding for Larxene now that I've come to terms with further abuse. Or maybe I was writing from that perspective already-some sort of subconscious thing. I'll never know.

I wrote myself into panic attacks. Screaming. Crying. Vomiting. Lovely things like that. This killed something in me-wrenched it out and tore it up and made it hurt and bleed and really, in the end, it wasn't worth it. It was powerful. It was real. But it also hurt like a motherfucker.

It's the reason I gave up, I think. I just...couldn't ever put that amount of heart into a work. Not when it hurt that much, or got that dark and twisted. Because this hurt. This hurt so fucking much to write. It was a goddamned nightmare, and for what?

Misery. I literally just stopped. I couldn't do anything else. I can't.

I'm sorry. Truth be told, this stopped being a KH story a very long time ago. Nobody acts in character, I can pull all the bullshit justifications I want, but it's true, it's dumb, it doesn't really make any sense...

I'm sorry. This really...

It hurts to say I don't think I'll continue it anytime soon.

It does. I'm sorry. Because I feel like I failed. I did.

look-I just...I worked hard. I did. I put all I could into this. It repaid me in pain and trauma and anxiety attacks.

I miss you all. I miss having fans. I miss having FRIENDS. I don't have a lot. You guys meant a lot to me. I'm sorry I repaid you this way. This isn't fair. I'm sorry, but I'm only human. I just...I can't do it.

It hurts to read what I wrote. The trauma lingers-I can't continue, it hurts so much.

And the cold hard fact is that due to something-faulty flash drive, whatever-a lot of what wasn't published was apparently lost.

And I just couldn't keep going. It hurt. It hurt to write it once, doing it again would hurt even worse. I just...I just can't. I'm sorry. I'm so very, very sorry, because this was a beautiful story, and deserved so much better.

I wish I could give it to you. I wish I could write about these things. But they hurt me, tore at me, made me a wreck...I can't. I'm only human. Writing this became a nightmare, a chore, and a burden. As much as I would like to be a professional author, I also want my work to be fun, and not trigger me constantly.

I have some notes on how the main Roxas/Axel and Xemnas/Saix arc was going to end. If anyone would like them, to at least get some resolution, I would be more than happy to PM them to you. You deserve that much. You are my fans and my friends and I treasure you and every comment you ever gave.

Everything you ever did for me is the only reason I give you what I give you now-it's a tiny Christmas present for a friend, and as such, it becomes my holiday present to you. Because you deserve it-because you were my friends and you listened to my troubles and you let me ramble in too-long author's notes and offered me advice and critique and whole-new ways of seeing.

Thank you. I love you.

If this fic is ever continued in any way, it is because of your love for it.

This seems shameless, but-if you really do like my fic, I...I might stay on ffn, tho I mostly write for comics now, and that's a small fandom. If not, I'm on tumblr as assistedrealityinterface, and I'm on livejournal as assistedreality. Archive of Our Own, too; AssistedRealityInterface.

So look me up. Because I've written more-things that haven't hurt me and have been fun to write. And all I want to do is share them with people.

In conclusion; I'm sorry this ended the way it did. I feel like a loser and a failure for not being able to continue...but...there's only so much I am capable of doing.

I am sorry. And I am also so very, very grateful for all of you.

I do own OGC. This is my story, damn it, and I slaved my ass off to give you the best I could until I just couldn't give any more.

Dedicated to everyone who read this. Ever. Thank you. Thank you for everything. I repeat; if this is ever continued, it is because of you, and your support as fans.)

* * *

Roxas hummed quietly to himself as he made his way around Hollow Bastion. He didn't have anything else to do. The Organization had given him the day off, and from the tone in Xemnas' voice, it was almost like he wanted him to go here. Like he wanted to see what would happen if he did...

Roxas shrugged it off. Far as he knew, Xemnas had never been here. Or at least, no one had told him otherwise. Though...to be fair, he had only been with the Organization for three weeks. Maybe it had happened. He wasn't sure.

He was never really sure of anything. Not even himself. He was Roxas, and that was all he knew...that he was Roxas, the savior, the bringer of light, the Keyblade Knight. Axel's lover. But that wasn't much of a person.

Roxas shuddered and swallowed, shaking his head. Why was he thinking about this? Wasn't this his day to just...explore?

Because Hollow Bastion was a place worth exploring-that, he was certain of. It was a sparse place, a deadplace, a place where shadows were the only things that could grow...but in its own way, it had a rough, ragged beauty, like a bird with its wings slit. In time, maybe, the feathers-or the town-could grow back...but as it was, it served as a stark reminder for...for something...

For an instant, Roxas felt like if he closed his eyes, he would know. He would understand just what it was about Hollow Bastion that, despite him having never been there, made him feel so...so...

Alive?

No, no he was living. But he did not understand...were there other kinds of alive? What was he? Where was he?

..._Why _was he?

Roxas shook his head and sighed. It didn't matter. It didn't...

He decided to go exploring. The cliffs around these parts were beautiful.

...

The sapphire stones that crumbled beneath his feet tumbled down the pathway as Roxas climbed upward. He felt like he had someplace to be, but that was all right by him; the feeling was faint, almost nonexistent, as it was for Nobodies, regardless of who he was or who he had been. So he could ignore it. And he could continue to climb.

His feet scuffed the stones, the tumbling noises clinking about in his ears as he finally scrabbled his way up to the highest cliff, the one overlooking the entirety of the sapphire scape.

Roxas sucked in a breath as he looked around, awed. It was so sprawling and yet so very sparse, devoid of life but shining dully anyways, as if in the hopes life would spring up from nowhere and settle down again, and as the sun shone bright on the stones, they began to sparkle like water, so that for a moment, Roxas felt like he was sinking into the clearest, bluest river that had ever existed.

Roxas swallowed and tilted his head back to look up at the sky. It was that same pale sunset that it had been since he had arrived; he suspected it never really changed. Sunlight bounced off the stones and fell to pieces as he moved forward, towards the end of the cliff.

There was something waiting for him; something he did not quite understand. But it was there, and it was something to explore, so curiosity overwhelmed him and he walked closer.

If he had a heart, it would have stopped upon seeing the thing in full. The castle above him rose tall and proud, despite its crooked nature and its rusting-away boards. It was still there, still reaching up and clinging to the sky, holding on to the forever-sunset with the tips of its rusted spires.

He had known this place, once. He did not understand why he felt that way, but knowledge, as the Superior had told him, was a marvelously mysterious thing. And perhaps that was why he had sent him here...

Roxas pushed past the doors and went inside.

He did not recognize this place-not entirely, anyway. He had never seen its depths, but still-there was some kind of recoginition, a gut-wrenching sensation, and he realized with a jolt that maybe these weren't his memories, but the weight of memories from someone else, from someone long ago who had lived and died here.

To understand how another's memories felt was a strange thing for him. He didn't quite grasp it, and he didn't quite like the feeling; it was heavy on his chest, greasy and thick, like he had gained a sudden weight to his skin that he couldn't claw his way out of.

Still, he continued on and up, up the spiral staircase, and up to the last room of the tallest tower within the castle.

It was not a room, really; it was a closet with a balcony. The balcony was the real appeal, he was sure, and as he stood out upon it, the railing rusted and blackening underneath his touch, he closed his eyes and wondered who else had come here before him-who else had stood here and waited, or watched, or simply existed.

Roxas didn't want to be thinking about these things. He just wanted to explore.

He made to turn around and leave, but the swirl of darkness rising up behind him made him pause. He blinked, shocked, and turned around, only to see Axel standing there, on the lip of the balcony, as if he was a crow about to fly off. From the way his coat flapped in the wind, it was a plausible mental image, if not an idea, and it made Roxas laugh.

"Hey," Axel greeted him, looking a little confused and more than a bit concerned, "why are you here, Roxas? This isn't a safe place for you."

"Was it ever?" Roxas asked. Axel flinched. Roxas continued, adding; "For someone else, I mean. Was this ever a safe place? It feels like it was, and I don't understand why..."

"...Yeah." Axel told him. "For awhile, it was the strongest, most well-protected place in the land...and for the people living there, I guess it was safe. Most of 'em were rejects; brilliant but stunted, you know how it is. Then they destroyed it." Axel shrugged. "It's what people do. I think that humans just spend a lot of time not knowing what to do with themselves, and then...well, I guess it kills them."

"Is that why I'm a Nobody, then?" Roxas asked. "So I know what to do with myself? Because I don't, Axel, I really don't."

Axel hugged him tight and shook his head.

"You don't have to know." Axel said. "But at least that won't kill you. You can stay with me. Stay safe."

"I...I guess." Roxas murmured. That didn't seem like the right answer either. It seemed more like that at least-even if they had been human, even if that had meant they'd destroyed themselves-at least they had known what they were destroying. At least they had felt whole.

Roxas didn't understand any of this. He didn't think it was a very good idea for the savior of them all to not understand. But there wasn't much he could do about it.

He sighed and closed his eyes.

"This was a good place, once." Axel said, and his voice was so soft and worn that Roxas just reached out and stroked his hair on impulse, to comfort and console. "I think if we come back, it can be that way again. But not if we come back as we are now."

"In time." Roxas murmured. "Please just give me time. Then I can fix things."

"Take all the time you need." Axel said warmly, kissing his forehead. "It'll be all right, Rox." He grinned, and suddenly the tension around them dissipated.

"Hey, y'know what? How about we don't let Xemnas know you were here, and we just head out to Twilight Town for awhile? I'll buy you ice cream." Axel promised.

"Why not let him know?" Roxas asked. Axel sighed.

"It's not a good idea to bring it up. This...this was a safe place for him." Axel told him. "And then it left him, and he brought that upon himself. I don't think he's ever quite forgiven himself for that."

"Okay." Roxas said. "I don't want to hurt him."

"We don't have emotions, we can't hurt." Axel reminded him. "...But it's a nice gesture anyway." He grinned. "Good boy. I think that deserves an extra ice cream!"

Roxas brightened up immediately, and took Axel's hand in his as they sank into the darkness.

He didn't understand any of this, or anything about Hollow Bastion, or really, anything about the people he was supposed to save-

But he did understand ice cream. And he sort of understood Axel. Sometimes.

And so Roxas, for the moment, was content.


End file.
